


Where Demons Go To Die

by HomuraBakura



Series: The Lost Chapters of Arca [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Background Crow/Shinji, Blood, Child Abuse, Demon!Yuya, Demonic Possession, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Battlefields, Knives, Minor Body Horror, One-sided Masumi/Yuzu, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Political Intrigue, Quests, Religion, Worldbuilding, graphic depictions of death, it's only fruitshipping if you really want it to be but that wasn't intended, ritual scarring, satanic rituals, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2018-12-10 22:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 81
Words: 253,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomuraBakura/pseuds/HomuraBakura
Summary: In the time of legends, the demon and the goddess warred with each other over the fate of humanity, until both disappeared.  Humanity will not let them go so easily, however, and in the realm of Zarkania, the priests have finally found their reincarnated demon.Yuya has spent five years imprisoned in the temple, manipulated into appearing as the feared Demon Emperor while he struggles with horrible episodes of violence every new moon, when his demon side asserts itself.  When he learns of a legend that the goddess will choose a champion to defeat the demon once again, he escapes on a journey to find her—so that she can kill him.





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> This is my monstrosity of a Big Bang project and HOLY SHIT I'm so excited to share it with you guys???????
> 
> Quick shoutout to dark-angel-of-muses and lilyliegh for reading some or all of this and giving feedback and motivation, and to my entire writing chat for being a much needed source of motivation to finish the project. Shoutout also to the people who organized the big bang because I don't think I would have finished this project in any length of time without those deadlines set by someone other than me!!
> 
> And a final shoutout to dark-angel-of-muses and lordsireno for doing art for this, I know lordsireno is delayed for a bit but no worries, thank you so much again!!
> 
> anyway, without further ado, please enjoy Where Demons Go to Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter theme: [Kurotanesou ](https://youtu.be/S_5QruLsnys)

Blood stained the cobblestones today.

Bodies still laid where they had fallen.  Not all of them had been yet dragged away on carts covered in canvas, pulled by priests in robes the same crimson shade as the puddles they tracked through.  People took care not to appear any farther than the shadows of the alleys.  Mothers cradled children to their knees, dead eyes staring at the massacre left behind by the revolt of last night.

The sky was heavy and dark, but it was too much to hope that it would rain.  Too much to hope that anything could come and cleanse the dark city of the scent of blood.  No thunder disturbed the cloud cover.  The nimbuses simply hung there, muting the city in a horrible, ringing silence.

There might have been a sunrise.  It was near impossible to tell; the light barely changed between the night and the day.

But the bells were ringing in the temple, their harsh, grating sound clanging across the narrow alleys and sagging houses.  Morning, it called out, banging out discordant tones like someone pounding on a shield.

No sooner had the morning bells finished, their echo still reverberating in the air, than the second set began.  A smaller, more chime-like set, they were poisonous in their sweetness compared to the raucous groan of the morning bells.  Beautiful they might be, but they meant one horrible thing.

The Emperor required the people's presence.

They were still dragging bodies clear of the square where the Emperor's balcony overlooked.  People filtered in slowly, in tiny clumps or one at a time.  Thin, haggard, bony people, with dark circles under their eyes and limp hair, skirting around puddles of blood, and giving wide berth to the red-robed priests that moved among them to clear away the last remains of the revolt.  Somewhere in the crowd, a loud keen rose up—only to be swiftly shushed by a terrified daughter gripping her mother's hand and trying to keep her from staggering towards a body on the ground. Only the faintest of whispers scattered among the people, tiny clumps of secrets and fears.

The balcony remained yet empty.  It was a looming thing, all sharp edges, as though hewn from the inside of a cave with its jagged stalactites and carved from deepest obsidian.  They were edged by torchlight with red as though they, too, were dripping with blood.  Heavy, dull red curtains hung over the entryway, not even stirring with the faintest breeze.

Below, past the iron gates that sealed off the inner temple and its courtyard, a faint scuffling sound could be heard—if one was close enough to the iron wrought gate, they would see two red-armored priests hauling their prisoner through the doors, dragging him down the path as he tried to dig his heels in.  The gates were pulled open by a red-robed priestess, and the armored priests dragged him into the courtyard, while other priests held the crowd bay.

The prisoner was forced to his knees in the center of the space, his head pulled back to look up towards the balcony.  Anger twisted his otherwise princely face.  His short blond hair was matted with dirt and grime, face stained with a faint sprinkle of blood.  More blood trickled from the corner of his lip, and he threw his shoulder against his captors—only to be held down even more firmly.  His presumably once shining white tunic was ripped and stained, blood seeping into the knee from where he was kneeling in the blood.

The chimes finally stopped, and the air rung with the silence.  Only soft coughs, the shuffle of feet, heavy breaths marred the quiet.  The man's chest rose and fell heavily, anger sparkling in his violet eyes.

And then, the curtains shifted.

A tall man emerged first—his robes were the richest of the other priests, long, deep, and velvet, with a golden ribbon that hung off his shoulders, embroidered finely with delicate designs that leached the color from his already sallow skin.  He had a pinched sort of face, a narrow nose and eyes, lips that seemed permanently frozen in that of a sneer, blond hair slicked back so severely that it seemed to yank at the edges of his forehead and pull the skin on his face tight.

His eyes briefly swept over the crowd, at the man held prisoner below the balcony—his lips twitched a little at that, a sardonic half smile briefly tugging at his expression.

He was followed by a man only a few inches shorter than him, a pale skinned youth with eyes the color of a stormy sea, his silver hair neatly arranged down his neck and over his eyes.  He dressed in the same fine material as the man beside him with a silver ribbon instead of gold.  However, his expression was far more reserved.  He betrayed no spark of emotion as his eyes, too, dropped to the man held kneeling, except to tighten his lips faintly.

Then each of them swept to opposite sides of the balcony, and with one arm before them they bowed.

The curtains moved again.

The Emperor emerged.

Compared to the men beside him, he was tiny, dwarfed by both of them.  His hair hung limply around his face and between his eyes, a dark green on top and stained with red beneath.  His robes were the darkest black, with only faint red embroidery about his waist and sleeves, making him look even paler than he was.  He was a round-faced boy, looking no more than thirteen, fourteen.

He walked slowly to the edge of the balcony.  The railing came up to his chest, making him look even smaller than he was.

And yet, no one would look up directly at him.  Feet shuffled and hands wrung as the crowd tried to find something, anything, to look at instead of him.  To see anything except his unnatural, burning red eyes.

He had absolutely no expression as he stared down at the man held prisoner.  He might as well have been made out of porcelain, with eyes as dead as a doll's.

After a few moments of silence, the silver haired young man finally straightened.  He reached into his cloak and withdrew a scroll, flapping it out between his hands so that he could read it.

“Jack Atlas,” he read aloud.  “I, Edo Phoenix, High Priest of the Outer Sanctum, do charge you with treason against our esteemed Emperor and God of Endings.”

The voice echoed through the silence, as though it were bouncing off the clouds above and spiraling back down among the crowds.

“Your crimes include inciting violent revolt, turning hearts against the will of the Empire, and taking up arms against the Zarkanian Order for the purposes of the slaughter of the Emperor and those who serve him.”

Edo furled up the scroll, tucking it back into the sleeve of his robes.  In almost perfect sync, the blond man removed his own scroll, opening it and beginning to read aloud.

“I, Jean-Michel Roger, High Priest of the Inner Sanctum, remind all present of the punishment for treason,” the man said.  “Against our god and king, there is no crime more heinous.  This day, the leader of the rebellion shall be put to death.”

He furled up his scroll and replaced it.  His eyes flickered to the Emperor, lips parting, but all at once, Edo spoke.

“Repent your crimes,” he said, his voice suddenly thick and full of fervor.  “Reveal your co-conspirators, and our god will surely have mercy.”

Roger's lips briefly curled, eyes flashing at Edo, but the silver-haired priest's eyes were fixed on the man below.

Jack Atlas did not reply for a long, buzzing moment.  Whispers emerged in the edges of the crowd, feet shuffling, robes twitching as priests eyed the suddenly tense crowd.

And then—

Jack Atlas began to laugh.

His chest rose and fell with each rocking laugh, trapped as he was by his captors he couldn't even move with the laughter that suddenly wracked his body.  It was an eerie sound that bounced off the walls of the temple and into the crowd, sending up more whispers and hisses.

Edo looked taken aback, his lips parting.

Finally, Jack stopped laughing, his head flopping to his chest with a broad grin.  When he looked up, his eyes were that of a dead man.

“He can keep his fucking mercy,” he said, voice crackling like lightning up to the balcony.  “Calling himself a god and sitting in his fucking palace while the rest of the world _rots_.  He's no god of mine—and no god at all.”

Barely contained whispers rose and fell among the crowd, pushing at the bubble of silence, and Edo's eyes flashed to the people below with actual surprise.  Roger's jaw clenched.

“The Emperor will judge your pathetic soul,” he said, the words tumbling out quickly as though he were in some kind of rush.

Immediately, everything grew quiet again as all eyes reluctantly moved back to the Emperor.

For his own part, the Emperor had not moved.  Had not even twitched.  It was as though the man below, the crowd, nothing at all held any consequence for him.  For a moment, he only stared, red eyes meeting with violet from across the faraway distance.

And then, slowly, jerkily, as though his wrists were on strings, he raised one hand up, and brought it back down.

“The judgment has been made,” Edo said, his quiet voice still carrying.  “May the next life have mercy on you.”

It was over quickly.

The Emperor did not flinch when the man's throat was cut, either, even as a faint scream rose up from the crowd and harsh whispers began to echo around and grow louder, almost shouts, like another revolt was about to begin.

Jack Atlas's body had only barely hit the ground when another voice, loud and clear, rose up over the crowd.

“She'll come for you!” a woman's voice shrieked.  “The Goddess's chosen champion—she'll come for you, you miserable wretch, and end your miserable reign!”

Only then did something change.

All at once, the Emperor's face seemed to clench up—his eyes widened imperceptibly, his breath catching and fingers twitching.  Something like—shock?  Surprise?—fluttered over his face, made him seize up ever so slightly.

Edo's robes fluttered as he almost instinctively stepped forward, beckoning the Emperor back away from the railings without touching him as the crowd began to boil.  The crowd bubbled around the priests that tried to hold them back, one or two of them trying to steal close enough to get to the body in the middle.

“She's coming!” the woman continued to shriek.  “She's coming, you miserable bastard!”

Edo hurriedly guided the Emperor back to Roger, arm hovering just behind his back without actually touching him.

“I'll take care of this, please get His Majesty to safety,” Edo said.

“Of course,” Roger said.  “Your Grace, please come with me.”

Roger put one arm behind him, again without touching him, and hurried him back through the curtains and into the darkness of the temple within.

The Emperor tried to look back, just once, to the roiling crowd.

 _There's a goddess_ , rang through his head.   _There's really a_ goddess.

His breath caught again.

_She can finally kill me._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Added this late, but for coherency's sake, here's a map of the world this story takes place in! [See it larger here](http://homura-bakura.tumblr.com/image/162226639939)


	2. TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Tampopo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVNd5vOeBfw)

_“Yuzu…Yuzu!”_

The voice sounded so far away.  She wasn’t where she was supposed to be.

Actually, she wasn’t sure where she was at all.

Yuzu opened her eyes.

Her lips parted as she took in the world around her.  This wasn’t the tree she had fallen asleep in.  It also wasn’t anything at all like her home, Rayglen.

Where Rayglen was small, surrounded by trees that filtered sunlight to dapple across beautiful, elegant buildings, this place was huge.  She could see all the way to the stain of mountains in the horizon, not a single tree in sight no matter which direction she looked.  The ground had turned gray as though something had bleached all the life and color from it, the dirt cracked, dry, and pockmarked under her feet.  Shards of earth jutted out into the sky as though some great force had caused it to bubble up from underground and explode.  Debris littered the ground in between the ripples of cracked soil.

Her stomach twisted.  It wasn’t just dry earth littering the ground.

There were bodies here too.

All at once, they seemed to become visible to her.  Human bodies, still and as gray as the soil beneath them, were scattered across the ground, draped over jutting walls of clay and thrown at awkward positions. Some of them were in _pieces_.  

Yuzu clapped her hands over her mouth, bile rising at the back of her throat.  Their armor was twisted and melted, swords shattered in flakes of steel that glittered dully under the low, heavy gray sky.  She couldn’t breathe—the stench of death was too strong, although it seemed the blood had dried away long ago, leaving the world to a horrible, silent gray.

Yuzu took a step back from the horrible vision surrounding her—why was she here??  What had happened?

She choked on a scream when her heel caught on something behind her—not earth, something _fleshy_.  Oh god.  She stumbled forward from the body she had almost stepped on.  Her head spun.  What happened?  Where was she?  What was going on?

“What do you think?”

The voice was so quiet that she almost thought it was her own mind, but in the silence of the worn battlefield, it seemed to echo.  She tried to turn around, but hands wrapped around her from behind, hugging her against something warm and _alive_.  She screamed, trying to struggle free.  The arms held firm despite her wriggling; she couldn’t get loose, couldn’t turn her head around to see who held her.

The question rang in Yuzu’s mind.  What did she _think_?

“It’s awful,” she choked out.  “This is—this is terrible.”

The person holding her didn’t speak for a moment, only their breath ghosted against Yuzu’s shoulder.

Then they laughed—a soft, broken, tear-filled sound.

“You’re right,” they murmured. “It’s terrible.”

One hand cupped against Yuzu’s cheek, and for a moment, Yuzu thought she would turn her head around, see the person behind her.

_“Please don’t let it happen again.”_

“Yuzu!”

Yuzu gasped, her eyes flying open.  All at once, her center of gravity shifted and she yelped, arms wheeling as the bulk of the branch underneath her slipped away, or rather, she slipped _off_ —

“Oof!”

She dropped and smacked into something solid and fleshy, both of them hitting the ground heavily.

Yuzu’s head spun for a moment.  All she could do was lay there and stare up into the leaves and pink blossoms above her with the sun filtering between them.   _The cherries are blooming_ , she thought dazedly.   _It’s not the season for that._

“Ugh!!  This is why we don’t sleep in trees!  Get _off_!”

Yuzu scrambled up to a sitting position, turning sheepishly to face Selena.

“Sorry,” she said, grimacing.

The other girl glowered at Yuzu as she sat up, rubbing the back of her head.  Her ponytail was coming a bit loose from the fall, strands of azure dripping around her face.  She reached back to retie her yellow ribbon, green eyes sparking with irritation.  She was a stringy girl, all bones and wiry muscles, her fair skin tanned and slightly freckled from too much time spent in the sun training every day.

“You know, we might have a training break, but that doesn’t mean ‘go hide and take a nap,’” Selena said.

“I wasn’t planning on napping,” Yuzu said, although that was only half true.  “How did you find me?”

She thought she had picked a good hiding nook, nestled up in the crook of a tree inside a large copse of trees, hidden from view.  Selena just raised an eyebrow at her.  She jerked one finger up towards the canopy, and Yuzu’s eyes lifted.

Her cheeks flushed.  That’s right, it _wasn’t_ the season for cherry blossoms…in the copse of trees, only the one that Yuzu had fallen asleep in was blooming.  The others were simply a summer’s green.

Selena dusted her knees off as she stood.

“You know, if you don’t want to be found, you should stop making flowers bloom in your sleep.”

“I’m not _trying_ to,” Yuzu mumbled.  She took the hand that Selena offered her, helping her get to her feet.  She ran her fingers through her hair then, frowning to realize that her pigtails were coming undone.  She released one tie so that she could regather the magenta hair, her pale hands reflecting the dappled light from the trees above.  “It’s not my fault that my Blessing just...happens sometimes.”

Selena didn’t respond, one end of her lips quirking downward, and Yuzu quieted.  Selena might try to hide it but…it bothered her when the others talked about their Blessings.  Yuzu knew Selena was a little…touchy about hers.  Or rather, her uncertainty if she had one at all.

Not that Yuzu’s was any better.  Her Blessing was making flowers bloom—what was so useful about that?  Although a good chunk of students at Rayglen didn’t even _have_ Blessings at all.

Blessings were, however, the prerequisite to join the Champion Elect.

For years, Rayglen had remained a sanctuary for the followers of the goddess, the one who had mothered life and created humanity.  Even as the world outside the sanctuary grew cold and dark, here, light would remain.  The demon and its legion continued to grow, but here, the Rayglen monks and nuns continued to find those with goddess Blessings, abilities born into select humans.  Only those with Blessings had the chance to manifest the Goddess Sword, and become the Champion.

Yuzu was determined to be that Champion.

“So, uh, what did you need?” Yuzu said, fixing her other pigtail.  “Or did I miss coming back to training on time again?”

Selena’s face suddenly grew a little paler, her eyes twitching downward.

“The Brothers and Sisters are calling us.  I think something’s wrong.”

Yuzu’s heart leaped.  Her dream flashed through her mind again, that horrible barren wasteland littered with bodies.  Wrong??  What was wrong?

Yuzu followed after Selena without another word, weaving through the woods to the cleared part of the village.

The sunlight blinded her briefly as they stepped free of the trees, but she adjusted quickly.  The smooth green grass, a little taller than her ankles, rustled in the breeze beneath them until they reached the path.  It was a simple construction of pounded down dirt, a little rutted from the wagons that passed through occasionally, but there was never very much traffic around here.  It was around noon, so the houses were mostly quiet; people were probably already at work at the university or out in the gardens with their packed lunches.  Nothing was much more advanced than packed earth and thatched roofs, not like the more complex wood and stone houses in the town just outside the woods, where Yuzu was sometimes sent to run errands.

At the end of the path, the university stood taller than the rest of the village—it was the largest building in both this and the next town, almost grazing up above the tree cover with its tall spires.  It was a pale color as though made out of birch trees, with twisted, sometimes asymmetrical pillars and buttresses that made it look like it had been grown out of the earth and made of trees twisted together.  Stained glass windows in soft, gentle colors were inset into the walls so that the light could filter through inside.

Selena led Yuzu away from the university’s main doors, though, and around to the convent built into the side.  The doors were much smaller and darker, hewn from wood and carved with elegant vines.  She held the door open for Yuzu, who slipped inside.

The front section of the convent opened directly into the main chapel.  The ceiling rose gently to a soft, arched point, paintings of the sky and tree canopies overhead, as though there was no ceiling at all.  The light filtered through the stained glass in faint streams of pastel, sending the quiet, otherwise empty space into a dreamlike state.  The other Champion Elect were already present, milling about softly and whispering among themselves, eyes flickering to the shrine at the very back.  It was a simple little house design with a grille in front of the only window.  Inside would be the offerings to the goddess, to persuade her to come into the house and bless them with her presence.

Yuzu had never sensed anything from inside.  She wasn’t sure if that meant anything.

A girl looked up when the door closed with a soft click, and she waved quickly to Yuzu and Selena, beckoning them to come over.

“What’s going on?” Yuzu asked as she approached.

Ruri shook her head, brows furrowed with the same confusion that Yuzu felt.  Ruri was always the elegant one in their group; she didn’t seem to have to even try to look like she was a princess.  She stood easily, her hands clasped in front of her, shoulders back and head held high; it was like the regality was as inherent a part of her as her light brown skin, her magenta eyes, and her elegant dark violet hair twisted into a perfect ponytail bun behind her.

“They haven’t told us anything,” Rin said, popping up before Ruri could speak.

Where Ruri was elegant, Rin seemed built more for forges and smithies.  She was a little shorter that the rest of them.  Although she had the same eerily similar facial features to Ruri, Selena, and Yuzu herself, everything about her seemed a little stouter and fuller, putting on significant muscle more easily than the other three.  She had cut her pale green hair herself despite protests from the monks and nuns, and it floofed around her face unevenly, bangs cut at an angle over her sharp green eyes in a freckled, fair skinned face.

“Nothing?” Yuzu said.  “They called everyone here for…no reason?”

“I’m sure there’s a reason, we just haven’t had a chance to hear yet,” Ruri said.  She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but then almost immediately pulled it back to twist it around a finger.

Yuzu grimaced, looking around at the other Champion Elect.  Everyone seemed a little nervous; there was a buzz around them that was getting Yuzu all worked up.  Her eyes flickered around the room as she chewed on her lip, marking off in her head everyone who was there.  There weren’t a lot of Champion Elect; only about twenty five or so.  She knew everyone to some degree, but there were cliques and friend groups just like anywhere else.  She herself tended to stick with Selena and the others.

She noted Hokuto and Yaiba off in a corner whispering between themselves, two of the small handful of male Champion-Elect.  Oh…Masumi wasn’t here yet?

The door opened again, and another girl slipped through.  No, there she was; the dark skinned girl’s crimson eyes flickered briefly over the room, catching on Yuzu’s gaze for a minute.  She nodded, raven hair swishing, but she didn’t have much time to do more than that before a soft bell rang through the room, and all eyes returned to the shrine on the raised dais.

The girl who had rung the bell, Mieru, placed it down on pillow to silence it as soon as the room grew quiet.  Her fluffy, curly orange hair bounced against her gray robes as she bowed briefly to the room.  Her eyes moved to the door.  After a beat, it opened, and the abbess appeared.

Himika was a tall, imposing woman, her red hair pulled back from a pale face into a tight, severe bun.  She was the only one in the pure white robes, with blue embroidery along the ribbon stole.  Her sharp eyes glanced out across the room, silencing whispers before they began.

She came to a stop beside Mieru.  The girl simply stood there for a moment, before Himika waved nearly imperceptibly at her, and Mieru stepped down to the lower step to wait.  For a moment, there was only silence.

“I will not take your time with frivolous openings,” Himika said.

Her voice rang through the room with a nerve-wracking snap.

“I’m sure most of you are aware,” she said, “that in Eclipsine, the capital of our enemy, Zarkania, we have been recently supporting an insurrection against the Emperor.”

Yuzu’s chest tightened.  That had been the topic of the day for weeks.  A rebellion right in the heart of the demon’s empire—it was like something out of a ballad.  She had spent nights dreaming about finally reaching the potential to create the Goddess Sword, taking it up and joining the rebellion there to finally strike the demon down.  But was something wrong?  Everyone looked so grave and nervous.

“Last night, an effort was made to strike,” Himika said.  “Against our recommendation.”

Ruri inhaled sharply, Rin swore under her breath, Selena’s fists tightened.  Yuzu’s heart fluttered.  No.  They hadn’t.

“The head of the rebellion was executed this morning.  We received the falcon just hours ago.”

Oh _goddess_.  Yuzu’s hand gripped at her tunic above her heart, feeling the blood rush out of her face.  Oh no.  No, it hadn’t.

“A large remnant of the force remains, but their recklessness has given us a hard choice.  We have decided to withdraw support from the Eclipsine rebellion.”

“You can’t!”

It was Masumi’s voice that blurted out the exclamation, and she ducked her head behind her bangs as all eyes suddenly turned towards her.  Himika’s lips tightened briefly.

“We do not have excess resources to spare, Apprentice Kotsu,” she said.  “Rayglen has survived for this long through patience.  We cannot afford a careless mistake.  The rebellion  made their mistake.  We cannot stand with them, for our own safety.  For the preservation of the goddess.”

“For the preservation of the goddess,” Yuzu mumbled automatically along with the rest of the group, the call-and-response too ingrained.

“There will be an extra service held tonight in memory of those who fell,” Himika said.  “You are encouraged, but not obligated, to attend.”

She bowed her head briefly.

“The announcement is finished.  Please return to your assigned training sessions for the afternoon.”

She swept away then, leaving through the same door she had arrived through.  Mieru jumped, hurrying to grab the bell and pillow so that she could follow.

For a brief moment, there was only silence.

Then whispers exploded up over the room, clumps forming around nervous exchanges and wringing hands.  Yuzu turned towards the other girls, finding her own expression of unease mirrored in Ruri.

“ _All_ support?” Ruri said, her hand over her heart.  “What about the healers we sent?  Are we taking them back?  Wouldn’t they need them the most right now?”

“They can’t be serious,” said Selena.  “We can’t give up after just that!!  How are we supposed to beat him if we fall back at the slightest failure??”

“The leader of the rebellion being executed isn’t really a _slight_ failure,” Rin said, looking down.  Her fists were tight and shaky, though, and Yuzu knew she was just as angry as Selena.

Yuzu squeezed her hands together over her heart, biting her lip.

“So…what happens if someone gets the Goddess Sword now?” she said.  “If we’re withdrawing support…the rebellion won’t support us, either.  How are we going to get a Champion all the way to the capital, through the priests, and into the temple to fight the demon?”

The other three girls hesitated—it was clear that hadn’t crossed their minds yet.

“We’ll have to make contact ourselves.”

Masumi’s voice cut over them, making all four girls turn.  The other girl stood tense, her arms folded over her chest.  Yuzu hadn’t heard her or the other two wander over, but Hokuto and Yaiba were here too.  Hokuto shrugged when he caught Yuzu’s eye, mouthing“Masumi’s getting feisty again, watch out for sparks.”  He flipped his dark purple bangs back over his constellation headpiece.

“What do you mean?” Ruri asked.

“I mean that if the convent isn’t going to help _we_ should,” Masumi said.  “We’ve been training since we were old enough to walk—Goddess Sword or no Goddess Sword, we can do some damage!”

“We should have been sent there from the start,” Rin agreed, nodding furiously.  “We could have helped!”

“We’re still barely teenagers,” Yuzu pointed out, but her stomach twisted.  She had been thinking something similar.  Among the rebellion, anyone found to have a Blessing was usually secreted quickly away to Rayglen for training before the Zarkanian Temple could claim them, which meant the rebellion was without Blessings.  That would have put them at a distinct disadvantage to the Zarkanian priests, who were armed not only with their own Blessings, but also with rumored, horrendous demon weapons created by the Demon Emperor himself.

“If Rayglen isn’t going to help them, we have to,” Masumi said.  “We’re goddess-chosen, aren’t we?  We have to get out there and fight!”

“How would we get out, though?” Yaiba said.  “They keep an eye on us for a reason.”

Masumi trembled a little, looking angry—Yuzu thought she was probably thinking about her father.  Masumi had never said it straight out, but Yuzu had guessed.  Her father was still in the capital somewhere.  Masumi had arrived from there when she displayed a Blessing for manipulating gemstones, able to melt them into different shapes with only her thoughts.

“I don’t know, but we—we can’t just sit here practicing when there are real things out there that people like us are supposed to be fighting,” she said.  “Why are we here if not to fight?”

Hokuto cleared his throat, and everyone glanced at him.  He looked around briefly as though to make sure no one else from the rest of the group was listening.

“Actually,” he said.  “I think I might know a way out.”

“Really?” Yuzu said, eyes widening.

“I’ve been paying attention to every time airhead here tries to sneak out to go looking for her boyfriend,” Hokuto said, jerking a thumb at Rin.

Rin made an obscene gesture at him for the nickname, but she seemed as raptly attentive as the others.

“I think I _might_ know how the watches are rotated; they do them slightly irregularly so that we can’t time it, but there’s a pattern,” Hokuto said.  “The only thing we’d have to deal with is the barrier.  Not sure how to disable that.”

The barrier was the only thing that kept them safe from the eyes of the demon.  It made their home impossible scry or teleport to with an enchantment scroll, and anyone who didn’t know the precise entryway from the outside would simply get turned around and lost if they approached.  But from the inside, walking through into the forest would send up an alarm to the brothers and sisters that someone had exited without permission.

“Hmm,” Ruri said, narrowing her eyes in thought.  “What if…we set it off from another location first, to draw attention there?”

“We’d have to leave someone behind then,” Selena said.  “To get caught.”

Ruri shook her head, a smile drawing over her lips.

“No we don’t,” she said.

“The barrier won’t set off if you send birds through it,” Yaiba said.  “They fly in and out all the time, it’d be a pain in the ass for the monks to check it out every time.”

“Maybe regular sized birds,” Ruri said.  “But what about a roc?”

The group all hesitated for a moment.

“There’s…there’s a roc,” Selena said, staring at Ruri.  “Here?”

“Wouldn’t we have noticed?” Rin said.  “I mean—a roc.  They’re like—what, bigger than horses, aren’t they?”

“About the size of elephants,” Ruri said, with a bright smile. “It’s out just beyond the barrier.  I sensed it setting up its nest in the deepwoods.”

Ruri’s Blessing was way more useful than Yuzu’s—she could talk to and command birds, making flying messages far more efficient, and even having falcons and eagles coming to her aid when she was in distress.  Yuzu had almost lost an eye once when Ruri nearly fell down a drop off, and a flock of crows had suddenly swarmed her while she was trying to pull her back up.

“That—would definitely set the barrier off,” Yaiba said nodding.  He looked impressed.

“Are we really doing this, though?” Ruri said, frowning.  “I mean…they must have a reason for keeping us separate.  Maybe we’re wrong and we _can’t_ handle it yet.”

“No way,” Selena said.  “We’re ready.  We’ve been doing nothing _but_ getting ready.  And we won’t be alone when we join the resistance, right?”

“It’s better than sitting on our asses,” Rin said.  “I’m in.”

Masumi grinned triumphantly, turning her gaze to Hokuto.

“How long do you think it will take for you to figure out the pattern?”

“Couple more days, maybe?  A week at most,” Hokuto said.  “We should probably make some plans before then.  Like, supplies and stuff.”

A bell rang insistently through the sanctuary, clamoring against the walls and making everyone jump and wince.

“Right, lessons,” Yuzu said.  “Let’s—let’s talk more later.”

“Catch you during dinner,” Selena said.

Yuzu nodded, then she jumped over to join Masumi and Ruri—they were all going the same way.  Masumi looked like she wanted to talk more, but her eyes slid over to the other Champion Elect suspiciously, and she kept quiet.

Yuzu just blinked out at the light when they left the sanctuary, squinting against the daylight.

The dull gray landscape of her dream twisted at the back of her mind.

 _Do we really want to do this?_ she thought, her stomach twisting.

 


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Blissful Death](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNJ6LO1QIyk)
> 
> I forgot to update this yesterday so I guess I'll be updating on Thursday and Friday this week lol

Roger held his arm so tightly that it was certain to leave bruises.  Even if those bruises would fade quickly.  The priest ripped the door to Yuya’s room open, practically flinging Yuya inside.  Yuya tripped on the hem of his robe—a yelp escaped him as he went tumbling face first into the carpet.

Dennis flinched at the sound of the door slamming.  The boy hesitated halfway in the middle of starting to pour tea, looking up nervously from the small table.

Yuya scrambled up to his knees, shoulders up around his ears as he turned back to face Roger.

“I told you not to react to anything today,” Roger said, his words coming out with a hiss.  “That expression you made is enough to have us dealing with a mob for _weeks_.”

“I-I'm sorry,” Yuya mumbled.  “I was just—shocked.”

 _“Don't let him intimidate you,”_ Yuuri hissed at the back of Yuya's mind.   _“You could kill him with a pinkie finger.”_

 _“Just because we could during a new moon doesn’t mean we can now,”_ Yuto scolded.   _“We can't provoke him, he's already really angry.”_

Roger's lip curled, and his hand twitched.  Yuya sucked in a breath and held it, waiting for the backhand he was sure was coming.  The voices in his head were loud and bickering, but not loud enough to block out the sound of the priest's angry, hateful thoughts that Yuya wished he couldn't hear: _I'm going to rip this little piece of shit to pieces, what a useless boy, I swear if I didn't need him I would dump him into a blasted lava pit—_

But the moment passed, and Roger just shook his head, taming down his own angry, violent thoughts until Yuya couldn't hear them anymore.

“I have to go and do damage control,” he said through his teeth.  “You stay _put_ , and I don't want to hear another word out of you until it's time for your ritual.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Roger's eyes snapped to Dennis, whose eyes immediately dropped to the floor.

“Boy, make sure he's ready for his runes to be reapplied in the next three hours.  You'll bring him downstairs when the bells ring.  Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Dennis said, not looking up from the floor.

Roger spared one last angry, burning gaze at Yuya.  Then his robes flapped around him as the door opened and slammed shut again, the sound of the lock clicking into place.

For a few moments, Yuya could only breathe.

 _“He's mostly hot air,”_ Yugo tried to comfort him.   _“Buck up, Yuya, it's gonna be okay.”_

“No,” Yuya mumbled.  “It's—it's not.”

Bile rose up at the back of his throat.  His brain was suddenly splattered with the image of blood, the memory of the knife flashing through the man's neck, the bodies he had seen that hadn't yet been cleared away, and he choked.  He shuddered so badly that he thought he would fall over, clapping his hands to the sides of his head and screwing his eyes shut.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled.  “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—”

Dennis's hands dropped lightly, tentatively, onto Yuya's shoulders.

“Hey,” he whispered.  “Hey, it's okay.  It's all right.”

“I-I killed him, Dennis, I gave them the signal to execute him, he—it's my fault, it's my fault again, it's my fault—”

“No, it's not,” Dennis said.  “Come on, Yuya, look at me...come on...that's it...”

Yuya's breaths took some time to calm down.  They felt horribly thick and harsh against his dry throat, his whole body trembling as tears escaped the edges of his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” Yuya said again.

“No, sh, it's okay,” Dennis said.  

He put his hand gently under Yuya's chin, tilting him up towards him.  Yuya’s eyes opened slowly until he could see the young man's face.  Dennis had a foreign face, a little more angled and with lower cheekbones than most in the Zarkanian empire, skin more pinkish than pale and eyes a clear blue.  His curly orange hair was always a little messier than he would like it, and there was a small beauty mark under his right eye that quirked when he smiled, like he was doing now.  He had a crooked sort of smile, one that never quite reached his eyes, as though he weren't sure if he was happy or not, but he was going to pretend that he was.

Of course, Yuya knew Dennis wasn't happy—it wasn't really possible.

“There you go,” he said, smiling again.  “You all right?”

“Not...really,” Yuya said.  “...thank you.”

Dennis squeezed Yuya's shoulders lightly, then stood up, reaching one hand down to Yuya.

“Come on, you haven't eaten yet today, right?”

_I'm so useless, I wish I would just die._

Yuya tried to pretend he didn't hear Dennis's thoughts, forcing a smile as he accepted the hand.  Dennis knew Yuya could hear it, but they both knew there wasn't much either of them could do to stop Dennis from having violent thoughts.

Yuya just wished Dennis's hate didn't have to be directed towards _himself_...it hurt to listen to.

Dennis tugged Yuya gently over to the table where a very sparse breakfast was waiting—it was barely more than bread and tea, just enough sustenance to keep someone barely alive.  Yuya didn't need to eat, of course, but it was...painful not to.  He supposed he should be happy that the priests gave him anything to eat at all when they knew he didn't need it to live.

Dennis helped Yuya sit down since Yuya's legs were shaking so badly.  He went back for the tea kettle and tilted it towards the cup.  The stream of warm water filled the room with the faint scent of green tea, and Yuya closed his eyes to breathe it in.

“Oh,” Dennis said.  “That reminds me.  I have something for you.”

Yuya's eyes opened and his lips parted.  Huh?

Dennis set the kettle down.  He glanced up towards the door briefly, as though to make sure he didn't hear anyone passing by.  Then he pulled back the fold of his robe, slipping one hand inside, and withdrew...

Yuya gasped, eyes widening.  Dennis smiled as he slipped the blossom free of his robe, pulling the petals back gently from where they had gotten crushed against his chest.  Yuya reached out, and Dennis passed it to him, letting the blossom fall against Yuya's palm.

“How—how'd you get this in here?” Yuya said, turning his hand so that he could see every inch of the flower—it was a beautiful, dullish sort of violet-pink that faded gently to a pale white in the center, with little yellow tendrils in the very center.  The petals were so soft!

“Roger sent me to run messages to Priest Phoenix this morning, and I found it in the mud in between the temples,” Dennis said.  “I figured...they'd pull it up once they found it, anyway...”

Yuya looked up quickly, frowning at Dennis.

“You have to be more careful,” he said.  “Roger will—he'd beat you again if he caught you.”

“He didn't, though,” Dennis said, winking.

 _I deserve to be hurt badly anyway, for being such a coward,_ his thoughts rang in Yuya's head, and Yuya had to put one hand to his temple, wishing there was a way to turn that off.  It _hurt_ hearing Dennis think things like that about himself...it was worse than hearing the destructive thoughts of the priests or the crowds.

 _“If he doesn't stop that, I'm going to kill him,”_ Yuuri announced, but Yuto shushed him.

 _“You okay, Yuya?”_ Yugo asked, sounding worried.

 _“I'm fine,”_ Yuya reassured them, his eyes falling back to the flower.  It was so tiny...he could still feel some of the life in it, even though it had been pulled up hours ago.

“I think it's called a hellebore,” Dennis said.  “That's the name of the town you came from, right?”

Yuya's chest tightened, but he smiled a little—faint memories of happier days spiraled through his head.

“Yeah,” he whispered.  “That was it.”

He cupped the flower in his hands, eyes raising up to the room while Dennis finished getting the tea ready.

To anyone who might open the door, the room looked like a luxurious place, a room fit for a king—or an emperor.  Deep crimson carpeted the floor, the walls paneled with a dark brown wood that had been polished to a perfect shine.  The wardrobe, dresser, the handful of chairs and tables, all were made from the same ebony colored wood, even the bed posts were a deep black, the bed itself far too large for just one fourteen-year-old boy and covered in rich, incredibly soft red fabric with a matching canopy.  This was the kind of room that ate away at light and put a fear of the dark into someone.  It was a room for an Emperor, or, as Yuya better knew it, it was a room for a prisoner.  Just a fancier gilding for a fancier cage.

He licked his lips nervously, eyes flickering towards the door.  He didn't hear any thoughts from the hallway, but that didn't mean anything—he could only hear thoughts if they were violent or destructive, after all...hopefully, not hearing anything meant at the very least that no one particularly dangerous was coming near.

He turned his eyes back to Dennis.

“You should eat,” Dennis said.

“Dennis,” Yuya breathed, and his voice must have sounded pretty desperate, because Dennis looked up jerkily.  “Do you—do you know anything...about a goddess...?”

Dennis blinked, no recognition sparking through his eyes.

“Why?” he said.

Yuya dropped his gaze to the table.

“After....after the execution,” he said, stumbling over the words as bile rose up in his throat at the memory.  “Someone started shouting.  Something about a goddess's champion...someone who could...um...”

He wasn't sure how to say it without it sounding bad, biting into the tip of his tongue briefly.

“Someone who could destroy me,” he said.  “Do you...know anything about that?”

Dennis watched Yuya for a moment, looking uncertain.

“Are you worried?” he said finally.

Yuya chewed on the inside of his cheek, avoiding Dennis's gaze.  Dennis leaned over the table, trying to get Yuya to look at him.

“Or are you thinking of...something else?”

 _“I was going to ask that too,”_ Yuto echoed at the back of his mind.

 _“Yeah, I mean—is that really what you're thinking?”_ Yugo said.

Yuya finally had to look at Dennis, certain that the truth was in his eyes.  He was positive Dennis knew what he was thinking, but he was waiting for Yuya to say it.

“I was thinking—she could stop this all from happening, if it's true,” Yuya said.  “That I could...maybe find her and—”

“You're basically telling me that you want to commit suicide,” Dennis said, his voice coming out edged.  “You're telling me that you want to go find this goddess, champion, thing, so that you can off yourself?”

Yuya's shoulders rose up around his ears.  He avoided Dennis' gaze.

“I can't do this anymore,” he whispered.  “So many people died last night because of me.  Because they want this to stop as much as I do—”

“They don't understand!” Dennis said, grabbed Yuya's shoulders.  “They don't know!  This isn't your fault, Yuya, it's the—it's the fucking priests, they're just _using_ you, if the people knew that they'd—”

“The eclipse is coming soon.”

Dennis's voice stopped immediately.  His fingers were tight against Yuya's shoulders, trembling slightly.  Yuya could look at him now, could meet his gaze.  The voices in his head were silent, too, as silent as Dennis' mind was in that moment.

Yuya reached up to put his hand on top of Dennis's.  He tried to smile.

“No one's happy, Dennis,” he said.  “Everyone's...scared.  Scared of me.”

He looked down, hand tightening on top of Dennis's.

“And maybe you're right...maybe it is the priest's fault...”

He shook his head.

“But—but in six months...they _will_ have a reason to be afraid of me...I won't be _me_ anymore...after the eclipse...it's over.”

He smiled at Dennis again, feeling tears in his eyes.

“Maybe you're right that the people don't know any better...but in six months, the eclipse will happen and I'll really be the thing that everyone fears.”

Dennis was trembling—he was the one that couldn't meet Yuya's gaze this time.  Slowly, Yuya slid Dennis' hand off of his shoulder, holding it gently against the blossom in his other hand.

“I'm glad though, that you care so much,” he said, his voice choked.  “I would miss you, if there really was a goddess, and she came to defeat me.”

Dennis dragged in a tight, shuddering breath.

“Am I going to have to lose the only friend I have a second time?” he mumbled.  “Do I really have to do that?”

Yuya felt Yuuri tighten up at the back of his mind, heard him hiss softly—but it was a sad, keening sort of sound, one that made Yuya's throat tighten too.

 _“She might not even exist,”_ Yuto said quietly.

Yuya dropped his gaze to his lap.  He wasn't sure if he should acknowledge Dennis's trembling shoulders, or the thoughts of self-hate that spiraled through his mind.

 _“Guys, someone else is coming,”_ Yugo said suddenly.   _“I don't know if they're coming to the door but, uh, they have really nasty thoughts.”_

“Someone's coming,” Yuya said, catching the hint of what Yugo had heard.  He shuddered at the violence of the thoughts.  It was just a single word, over and over again: _kill kill kill kill kill—_

 _“It must be that fake priestess,”_ Yuuri said.

Dennis snapped up at Yuya's words.

“We need to hide this,” he said, tugging the flower out of Yuya's hands.

“They'll find it no matter where I put it, they clean out the whole room while my runes are being reapplied,” Yuya said.

His stomach twisted as his eyes slid over to the fireplace.  His gaze met briefly with Dennis's, and all at once, Dennis's thoughts got quiet, his brows came together with a distressed look.

“Yuya...”

“It's okay,” Yuya said.  He leaned down to briefly breathe in the scent of the flower—it was so nice, he thought wistfully.  There were whole fields full of these outside the temple...he could hardly imagine it anymore.  “I'm glad I got to see it for even a few minutes—I don't want you to get in trouble.”

Dennis hesitated.  He closed his eyes as Yuya passed him the flower.

“I'm sorry,” he said.  It didn't sound like it was about the flower, but Yuya didn't need an apology from him.

Dennis tossed the blossom into the flames.

Yuya could only stare as he watched the fire cause the petals to curl and blacken, until every bit of color bled out and it turned into nothing more than ash.

His hands tightened into his robes.

 _I have to find her_ , he thought.   _I_ have _to die._

 


	4. FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [The Color of Depression](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5izHod68uI)

****Phoenix was, as always, with those two ridiculous priestesses that seemed to follow him wherever he went. Roger resisted the urge to let his lips curl, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. It was hard, sometimes, to maintain the farce in front of the fanatics, but he would have to conceal his disgust until later.  After all, Edo could sense that.

“We'll likely have to double the guard around the outer sanctuary, and increase patrolling tonight. I don't think the riot today will be the end of it, and I won't see any believers seeking the temple being attacked or worse.”

Phoenix always had that disgusting spark of fervor in his eyes, the burning expression that made Roger want to throw up. In some aspects, it was almost amusing—the young man was so _incredibly_ devout. It had been helpful in the past.  Edo Phoenix preached with such zealous fervor that sometimes Roger himself was almost swayed into believing that the scrap of a boy locked in his chambers was actually a god from the heavens sent to purge the world of impurities in preparation for the new world. A good chunk of Zarkanian expansion had been due to Phoenix's preaching making converts out of a good many villages, so Roger supposed he shouldn't look the gift horse in the mouth.

Other times, however, his fanaticism became... _annoying_.

Phoenix looked up as Roger approached, and the two priestesses he was speaking to paused, their own eyes moving almost as one to Roger. There was something eerie about them sometimes. They were twins, despite looking fairly distinct, and they seemed to move in sync without even trying. The younger sister was shorter than the other, her silver hair twisted into a traditional series of ponytails that rested on top of the rest of her hair, while the older sister's blond hair had been pulled into a more practical high ponytail to keep it out of her face. They had the same slightly pinkish toned skin and clear, pale eyes as Phoenix, all three of them Mellians from southern Iwamaki. The Zarkanian religion had taken root there fairly prominently in the last decade, although the territory itself was not yet under the reign of the Empire. More bureaucracy that Roger would have to take care of.

“Priest Phoenix,” Roger said, trying to sound as smooth as possible. “Might I have a word?”

“Of course, I thought I'd look for you myself in a moment,” Phoenix said. He briefly turned to his priestesses, waving them off. “I'll trust your judgment, Priestess Grace, Priestess Gloria. You go with them, too, Sora. If they should need to contact me, bring their messages to me, please.”

Roger had to bite back a swear as the tiny acolyte peeled himself out of the shadows—Roger hadn't even seen him there, and it took all he had not to snap at the boy. Phoenix's little message boy—Roger had never liked him. There was something too...perceptive about his unblinking green eyes, about the way that he just stared at Roger without speaking any time they were in the same room.

The boy simply nodded at Phoenix without a word, and then the two priestesses bowed, and all three turned back down towards the hallway.

Phoenix turned back to Roger then.

“I'll expect you want to know the status of the riot,” he said, tone clipped and professional. “We did contain the initial burst of violence without any casualties, but tensions are still high and the rate of attacks on traveling priests in the capital seems to—”

“I'm actually here to ask another question,” Roger said, waving a hand with a smile. “Not that I don't want to hear your report, of course, but perhaps when you're ready to give something more stable.”

Phoenix hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded.

“Thank you,” he said. “What may I assist you with?”

Roger cursed once again the events that had led to Edo Phoenix becoming the High Priest of the Outer Sanctum. Roger had been pulling for one of his own to be elected to the position when the old priest died, but Phoenix had been far too popular among priests and believers alike. He was a bleeding heart and a zealot—and completely unaware of the truth about the boy. If he ever found out...it could become a disaster.

 _Smooth_ , he had to remind himself, tamping down his emotions irritably. _He can sense that_.

He faked a bland smile as he tried to get himself composed again. Because if Edo Phoenix wasn't bad enough already, his Blessing was that he was an empath.  He could sense emotions, and Roger didn’t need to make Edo suspicious.

“You went off our script this morning,” Roger said. “I don't want to point fingers, but allowing the man to speak so ill of the Emperor...I don't think that helped this morning's tension.”

Phoenix's eyes dropped briefly.

“I apologize,” he said, but it sounded like he was drawing out each word with difficulty. “The Emperor....I sensed some distress from His Grace. I thought perhaps he wanted to hear the man out.”

“I see,” Roger said, smiling as his hands tightened behind his back.

Damn this bleeding heart empath. If Roger had the means, he would have the priest _killed_....get him out of these affairs for good. And the boy felt “distressed,” hm? Roger would have some things to say to that runt this evening...

“In the future, I would ask that you do your best to stick to what we prepare,” Roger said. “I _do_ discuss these things with the Emperor beforehand.”

“I understand,” Phoenix said, bowing briefly. “Please accept my apologies.”

Roger waved his hand noncommittally, smiling as blandly as possible.

“Despite this hiccup, I expect the preparations for the Solstice tomorrow night go as planned?”

“Of course,” Phoenix said, smiling a little again. “His Grace will be pleased with the festivities, I'm certain.”

“Very good,” Roger said. “I won't detain you any longer then. I'll meet you for the regular exchange of reports tonight.”

Phoenix bowed again, and Roger bowed back a little stiffly.

Gods, but he was glad to see the back of him. What an immense bother. He would have to assign someone to keep Phoenix from meddling around the Inner Sanctum too much.

Roger turned back towards the hall—and paused, because there was someone waiting for him. He smiled briefly. Ah, good.

“Priestess Tenjoin,” he said. “Just the person I needed to see. Have you been waiting for me?”

The woman inclined her head.

“Not long, Your Excellency,” she said.

Unlike Phoenix, Asuka Tenjoin was a bit harder to read—she had only entered the fold a few months ago in the Outer Sanctum, but she had a very particular streak of intensity that made Roger want to keep an eye on her. If she truly was the kind of person he took her to be, he would want her moved to the Inner Sanctum immediately.

She rose from her bow as he waved her off, her braided blond hair shifting back over her back. She had a faintly tanned skin tone and almost glassy hazel eyes that hid her true expression most of the time. But Roger hadn't missed the way she glared at Phoenix's back when Phoenix wasn't looking, and if she held as much contempt for the man as Roger did, she could prove more than useful.

“Are you busy at the moment, Priestess Tenjoin? I need someone to inform the Emperor that I wish to see him.”

Tenjoin bowed her head again.

“At once, sir,” she said.

She turned and strode away, leaving Roger briefly alone. He thought for a moment then that he didn't know what she had been waiting for. Had she simply been eavesdropping? Well, he didn't necessarily discourage that skill in those he chose to bring into his inner circle...still, he'd have to keep an eye on her.

He began to walk, making his way down the long corridors of the temple until he reached the inner door. It opened with a touch from his fingers, the iron portal swinging wide to let him through.

Several Inner Priests were already waiting in the inner corridor: it was dark, thin, and lined only with a few tiny torches. They waited for him to pass between them before falling into step behind him, all the way down the tunnel to the stairs. It grew dark and cold the farther down they went, Roger finally feeling a sense of calm come over him for the first time today. The cold of the inner chambers were relaxing in that regard.

The stairs opened up to the chamber below, and Roger stepped through.

The room was enormous, so large that it seemed impossible that it could fit underneath the temple. The ceiling was so far that the torches couldn't reach it, sending it into a looming darkness. Below, the chamber was shaped much like a cup: a raised dais ran around the room, with circular stairs leading down into the lower hollow below. The ground there was carved with long, curving symbols hewn deep into the floor like empty rivers; they were something of a maze across the floor, but each led to one of four sizable circles carved into the floor, as though for containing water flowing through the grooves.

All of the carved paths led up to the stone slab in the very center of the chamber, which was carved from the sides and across the top with similar designs, slightly sloped on both ends. Manacles were hammered into place at each corner, one dangling off of the side.

The other priests moved about the raised dais, going into the alcoves along the sides to withdraw the items that needed to be infused with power today. The current supply of demon weapons had been depleted from the rebellion, and there were other tools that needed to be “blessed”. Freshly smithed black blades and iron bangles for storing magical energy were pulled free and each added to one of the depressed circles in the floor. Roger himself walked down to the stone slab, inspecting it briefly to make sure it didn't need any additional maintenance. It had been recently cleaned and the manacles were still firmly attached.

He heard feet on the stairs, and turned to see that the boy of the hour was here.

The “Emperor” looked down at the floor, his face drawn and pale. Behind him, Roger's servant Dennis stood stiff, also looking at the floor. What a pathetic child. If he wasn't so obedient, Roger would have gotten rid of him for being so soft-hearted.

“Don't just stand there,” Roger snapped. “You know how this works.”

The boy flinched, tongue flicking out over his lips. Oh, but this was so much better than having to pretend to bow and scrape to him in public.

The boy fumbled as he undid the ties of his robes. Dennis had to step forward and help him, tugging the fabric off of his shoulders so that he was only in his leggings and bare feet. A priest on the dais stepped forward to grab him by the shoulder, hauling him down the stairs and to the slab. Dennis ducked down to retrieve the robe, standing back up to look down at the boy's back, pale-faced.

“Get back to his chambers, boy,” Roger said. “You're not necessary here.”

Dennis looked sick, but he bowed and turned around, disappearing back up the stairs.

The priest dragged the boy over to Roger.  Roger considered him briefly.

Scars ran the entire length of his torso, carved in curved, purposeful designs. But they were starting to fade, even though they had only been applied last week. His healing factor was incredible; even blood runes meant to last decades and purposefully scarred didn't last for long. No wonder he had been so expressive this morning; the runes that kept him obedient had been fading.

Roger grabbed him by the hair wordlessly, hauling him up onto the slab. The boy didn't struggle, but there were tears in the corners of his eyes as Roger forced him to lie back, wrenching his arms up and locking them into the manacles over his head, and then repeating with his ankles.

The other priests took up their positions around the room—already the room was getting heavy with the smoky scent of demon magic as the ritual began.

Roger retrieved the blade from his belt, twisting it briefly between his hands. A demon weapon, like the others—forged with black steel and infused with the magic inherent in the demon's blood. They were running low on supply as of late.

It was a good thing the boy never died, no matter how much he bled.

The boy gasped as Roger cut into his skin, blood immediately welling to the mark. Tears bubbled up over his eyes as he tried desperately to clench down on his jaw, trying not to scream. The blood welled up from the scar, dripping onto the table and into the ruts, starting to make its slow way through the cut designs until it would reach the pools where the weapons waited to be infused. The priests chanted in the background, old words that would hurry the blood and spark it with power.

The boy screamed at the fourth cut, his face going white with how badly he was trying to stop. Roger almost considered gagging him again so he wouldn't have to hear it; but they were too deep in now. Besides, maybe he wanted the boy to scream after how much _trouble_ he had put him through today.

“You're barely worth the trouble it takes to keep you in line,” Roger hissed at him, quietly enough so that the chanting would cover most of it up.  “Perhaps you need to start spending more nights in the pit if you don’t start cooperating.”

The boy flinched, screaming again with the next cut.

“I-I'm s-sorry,” he gasped.  “I’m s-sorry, I’ll be good, I promise.”

Blood poured from his wounds, filling up the grooves in the floor. It would take only about fifteen minutes or so to finish the last of his runes, so that Roger could control him again, but he'd have to keep reopening them for the next few hours so that they'd get enough blood before his wounds sealed up.

It was just business, of course, Roger thought with another drag of his knife. But it was remarkably stress-relieving.

 


	5. FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [☆☆☆***](https://youtu.be/D9Hbjvm2HrI)

Yuya was in so much pain that he couldn't see by the time the ritual ended and he was hauled back to his chambers; hidden from any non-Inner priests by the cover of night and the darkness and emptiness of the back halls.

The Inner Priests dumped him unceremoniously to the floor.

“Finish up,” one of them snapped at Dennis, his feet scrabbling to jump up from his seat.

The door slammed closed and distantly, Yuya heard the lock click.

Dennis' cool hands alighted tentatively on his shoulders then. Yuya could almost see that face he was making, the way he always bit his lip so hard that it almost bled, his face white and his eyes distant.

“Bastards,” Dennis mumbled, quiet enough so that no one at the door could hear him. “They bled you for five hours...”

Yuya shuddered, feeling his blood stain into the carpet underneath him. At least it was red. Five hours...that was a lot longer than they normally drained him...no wonder he felt so horribly dizzy.

“T-they must n-need a lot of b-blood after the r-rebellion,” he said faintly, his voice quiet even to himself.

“Sh,” Dennis said. “Don't talk...”

He hesitated before he carefully eased his hands under Yuya's arms, gently helping him sit up. Yuya could barely see, and he was so weak that even the other three in his head couldn't gather themselves enough to speak.

“Easy now,” Dennis said.

Yuya had to lean completely against Dennis as Dennis helped him up and guided him to a stool. Yuya slumped as soon as Dennis released him, feeling a pang of guilt at the blood he had left behind on Dennis's shirt. Dennis could get in trouble for having dirty clothes...

“ _Yuya,”_ Yuto whispered at the back of his head. _“Breathe.”_

Yuya realized then that he had been holding his breath, and he let his air out in a rush, twinging with pain. It wasn't over yet, either...the wounds had to be re-scarred so that the power of the runes would remain intact, so that Yuya would be forced to obey the priest's commands. It was...a painful process that Roger had started making Dennis do after the rituals were over; even if Dennis was gentle, the act of having ashes rubbed into his wounds was always horrible...

He swallowed as he dug his hands into his knees, waiting for the stinging pain with his teeth dug into his lip to suppress any cries.

He flinched a little when Dennis's cool hands touched his back again and...wait...he was just—bandaging his wounds. What about the scarring...?

“Dennis?” Yuya said.

“Sh,” Dennis said, and Yuya fell silent, his brain spinning. Dennis tapped Yuya to lift his arms so that he could wrap the bandage around his torso, slowly and carefully wrapping him up.

“ _What's he doing?”_ Yugo said, his voice low and conspiratorial.

“ _Shut up, you imbecile,”_ Yuuri hissed. _“Just wait. Dennis isn't stupid.”_

Dennis finished wrapping the bandages up and over Yuya's shoulders, and then had him hold his arm out so that he could wrap the cuts all down his arms.

“Dennis, what are you doing?” Yuya said again. “If—if you don't scar these, the runes will weaken by tomorrow, and Roger will beat you again.”

“They won't have time to find out,” Dennis said, not meeting Yuya's eyes.

“What...?”

Dennis finished bandaging Yuya's other arm without responding to any more of Yuya's questions, and Yuya finally just had to fall silent, waiting uncertainly. Yugo started chattering again, asking questions about what was happening despite Yuto and Yuuri trying to shush him.

Dennis got back up and walked across the room to get Yuya's robe. He helped Yuya put it on, as Yuya's arms were stiff and painful to move from the cuts. As Dennis finished tugging the sleeve over Yuya's wrist, he pressed something into Yuya's palm.

“Don't look, just hide it in your sash,” Dennis hissed, low and right against Yuya's ear, as though worried that somehow someone would hear them.

“What...”

“It's a smokepill.”

Yuya felt the color drain out of his face. Smokepills were an incredibly expensive, incredibly _illegal_ drug.  It supposedly gave an incredible high, and made the entire world look different—but more importantly, smokepills didn’t just mess with _your_ head.  They messed with the heads of _everyone_ around you.

Swallow a smokepill, and you would start to release a certain combination of pheromones and altered aura that would bend attention around you—making you effectively invisible. They were illegal because of how dangerous they were—thieves, assassins, and rebels could make use of them too easily.

“Where did you—”

“Not important,” Dennis said, but the way he averted his eyes from Yuya's made Yuya think that he had had to do something unsavory to get a hold of it.

“ _Idiot,”_ Yuuri hissed at the back of Yuya's mind, but even Yuya could hear the faint crack in Yuuri's voice.

“But what—”

“Tomorrow is the Solstice,” Dennis said. “You'll be out of the temple. It's a once in a year opportunity.”

“Surrounded by priests and festival visitors,” Yuya pointed out. “I think they'll notice if I try to swallow a smokepill.”

Dennis just shrugged, still not meeting Yuya's eyes.

“Maybe there will be a commotion you can take advantage of.”

He turned away, making a show of tugging at the bedclothes as though to straighten them, even though they didn't need any straightening.

Yuya staggered to his feet, taking a wobbly step forward.

“Dennis,” he said.

Dennis wouldn't look at him.

“You never belonged here,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “You're too—”

He didn't finish what he was going to say.

“I don't care what you decide to do when you get out there. Just go. Get as far away from here as you can.”

Yuya's heart leaped and he stepped forward again, fingers grasping at the hem of Dennis' shirt.

“Dennis—”

For just a second, Dennis still wouldn't look at him. Then he turned with a snap, facing Yuya. His hand twitched briefly, fingers brushed the side of Yuya's face as though he wanted to cup it, but he didn't.

He half smiled.

“You look just like him,” he mumbled. “I couldn't save him. I was too much of a coward. I still am.”

Yuuri rumbled softly, and Yuya felt his own heart clench up. Dennis's hand fell away and Yuya grabbed for it, holding it tightly between his own hands.

“He's still here,” he said, his voice cracking desperately. “Yuuri's still here. He doesn't want you to do anything that would get you hurt—”

Dennis slipped his hand free of Yuya's grip.

“I know,” he said. And he just smiled then, a crooked thing that didn't reach his sad eyes. “That's why I have to get you both out of here.”

Yuya grabbed for Dennis's hand again, but Dennis was faster than he was, and Yuya was still weak from blood loss.

“ _Yuya,”_ Yuuri said, his voice actually shaking. _“Yuya, stop him.”_

Yuya's heart was in this throat and he made a wild swipe for Dennis once more. Dennis slipped around Yuya and went for the door, unlocking it with the key around his neck and slipping through. Yuya stumbled across the carpet, but the door fell shut before he could reach it. He fell against it, hands pressed against the wood.

“Dennis,” he said. “Dennis! Please, Dennis!”

His voice cracked, his heart clenched up, he couldn't breathe. Dennis wasn't—what was he going to do? What could he do to make a commotion big enough to distract the priests from him? He'd be caught; he'd be caught and Roger would hurt him, worse than usual, Dennis would—Dennis could _die_.

Yuya slid down against the door, his forehead pressed against it. Tears choked his eyes, and he couldn't breathe, couldn't hear for the pulsing in his ears. What was Dennis going to do? C-could Yuya actually...? Could he actually escape...?

He found his eyes sliding over to the fireplace, and for a moment, he felt like he could see an afterimage of that flower, the one that Dennis had brought him, despite the danger—just to make him smile.

He couldn't escape. Not without Dennis—he couldn't go without Dennis.

 _N-Not without you,_ Yuya thought, squeezing back the tears. _Dennis...please....you don't belong here either..._

At the back of his mind, Yuuri let out a low, broken keen.

* * *

Dennis would not meet his eyes when the priests came for him.

Priest Phoenix swept a low bow, standing respectfully back from the door. Yuya kept his eyes on the ground and tried to keep his mind blank. Roger had ordered him to remain as emotionless as possible around Phoenix.

“My lord,” Phoenix said, his voice full of actual reverence. Yuya tried not to wince. He felt... _guilty._ Edo Phoenix was never present for the rituals, and Roger didn't seem to like him. Yuya thought that maybe he didn't know. Maybe he didn't know that Yuya was a tool and not a king. Yuya felt somehow like he was betraying him.

_I’m not a god...I’m sorry..._

He just nodded in response to Priest Phoenix, keeping his face lax and passive. Phoenix was attended by the twins.  Grace and Gloria Tyler, he thought they were called.  The silver-haired one always watched Yuya with shining eyes rivaling Phoenix's reverence. The gold-haired one rarely looked at Yuya at all.  Both of them tended to have quiet thoughts, though, with only rare bursts of destructive thinking, so he didn’t mind them.

Roger stood behind Edo with his own two attendants. He tended to have different ones all the time; Roger didn't like keeping anyone too close to him. Today, it was a tall, broad man with an eyepatch and a slender woman with limp blonde hair—

_Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill—_

Yuya bit back on his wince. It was her. The fake priestess, Yuuri called her. She had joined the temple about a year ago and was already promoted to the priesthood. She wasn't here out of any form of reverence, though. She wanted to kill Yuya. It was the only thought on her mind any time she was anywhere near him.

_I wonder what I did that makes her hate me so much._

He looked at the floor briefly.

_I wish she actually could kill me._

It was a little odd that Roger was being attended by an Outer Priest, but Yuya was more concerned with Dennis, standing at attention beside Roger.

Yuya could feel the pill digging into his chest through his sash.

“ _When the distraction comes, use it,”_ Yuuri hissed at him. _“If you don't—if you waste his sacrifice—”_

“ _I won't do that,”_ Yuya thought quietly back at him.

For a moment, his mind was silent.

“ _I'm sorry,”_ Yuto whispered.

Yuto didn't know Dennis—not the way that Yuya and Yuuri did. He had never gotten to live with Dennis...Yugo hadn't either. He was being uncharacteristically quiet today, come to think of it.

Yuya poked gently in Yugo's mental direction as he fell into step with his priests surrounding him, walking down the corridors of the temple towards the doors. Only once a year did Yuya get to step outside the gates of the palace, and that was on the Solstice.

“ _Yugo?”_ he whispered, the doors opening before him.

Yugo made a faint coughing sound, but he didn't respond.

“ _He's just happy we're leaving,”_ Yuuri said, his voice cutting.

“ _Hey!”_ Yugo said. _“Don't put words on my tongue!”_

“ _You mean 'put words in my mouth.'”_

“ _Don't do that either!”_

“ _Guys,”_ Yuto said. _“Please.”_

Yugo grumbled softly, and for a moment, everyone was quiet.

“ _I'm sorry,”_ Yugo said after a beat. _“I—I'm sad too...I don't want Dennis to get hurt either, but...but I want to get out...I want to go look for Rin before we...”_

He fell briefly silent, and Yuya felt his stomach twist a bit. Rin—the girl that Yugo had known before they all became...this. Yuya dreamed about her a lot because of Yugo's memories entwined with his. She seemed like a nice girl. He knew Yugo missed her a lot.

“ _I didn't wanna say anything and be disconsiderate.”_

“ _You mean inconsiderate,”_ said Yuuri.

“ _I know what I said and so do you!”_

The twin priestesses moved ahead of them on the path, and Yuya came back to himself. The twins pulled on opposite sides of the gate, heaving the iron lattice open. Yuya swallowed thickly.

Outside, the Solstice festivities had already begun.

The square that had once hosted an impromptu execution had been since immaculately cleaned; not a speck of blood remained. It was still red, though, from all of the red drapery on all of the booths and tents that lined the square and flags that hung from the windows of nearby houses. Already the square was full—red-robed priests and acolytes in their short brown coats scurried about, checking tents, fixing drapery, setting up the visiting nobles from other towns in their sections, herding guests to their appropriate locations. There were regular people, too, wrapped in an array of clothing, from the shabby to the fine. Some of them had shining faces, eyes that shone with awe when they saw Yuya and his priests exiting the temple at the sound of the bells ringing.

More of them were sullen, though. Dark, with barely concealed rage, or flinching with flashing terror in huge eyes. He could hear their thoughts like a murmur running through the otherwise mostly quiet square, an incoherent mess of _I want to rip him to pieces—kill him—he should die—_

Yuya tried not to look at any of them.

He was hurting all of them, regardless of if they believed he was a god or not.

A large stage had been erected at the end of the square. The priests cleared the way, moving the crowds aside so that Yuya had a clear shot to the stage. He walked slowly—he still hurt a little, even though his scars had mostly sealed over. He had to focus to keep his mind blank, too, so that Phoenix's empathy couldn't pick up on him. Then again, they were surrounded by people, and judging from Phoenix's pale face, he was picking up on everyone's emotions at once, not just the destructive thoughts like Yuya did. That was probably going to make it harder for him to zero in on Yuya's.

That...that could be an advantage. When he swallowed the smokepill, Phoenix wouldn't be able to sense him as easily...

He swallowed thickly. Was he...really doing this? What would he do after he ran? Where would he go?

 _To the goddess's champion,_ he thought. And then, _but where is she? How do I find her?  How do I get out of the city?_

He reached the stage. His priests swept to the side, bowing on either side of the stairs. After a breath, Yuya took the first step, and then the next. He tried to still his breathing and hide how stiff his arms were as he reached the top. A large black throne had been erected at the top, with a huge red canopy over it. This was where he was supposed to sit and watch the day's festivities, performances and rituals and the like. People would come and leave offerings for him and Roger would pretend to interpret Yuya's silence into proclamations on what the offerings would result in.

That was what was supposed to happen, anyway.

Yuya settled into the throne, and his priests ascended the steps after him. Phoenix took up the space to his left, and Roger to his right. Edo's twin priestesses fell silently back behind him, and Roger's attending priests fell behind him.

Dennis was nowhere to be seen. Of course, he wasn't supposed to be—he was Roger's servant, not a priest or an acolyte. He technically didn't have a place up here. So...where was he?

_How will I know the signal...?_

“People of Zarkania,” Roger called out, his voice vibrating over the crowd.

The soft buzz of the people faded to silence. Yuya's thoughts turned away from Dennis abruptly to the crowd—everyone stared right at him. Eyes of reverence, anger, fear, sadness, _hate_. His stomach twisted. He wanted...to be allowed...to cry...

“The Solstice rises,” Phoenix said, picking up where Roger left off. “The shortest day of the year.”

“It is the day of shadows from which our lord arises,” Roger said. “And it marks the six months leading to the final eclipse, and the final awakening of our god.”

“If any among you has any fear in their hearts, dispel it,” Phoenix said, his voice full of vibrating reverence that made Yuya want to duck his head. He had been ordered to remain silent and still, though, so he trained his eyes forward and tightened his hands on his knees. “Our god is one of destruction, but he should not be feared. He should be welcomed and praised.”

“When the darkness falls over the land, our lord will rise, and smite the impurities from this world,” Roger continued. “He—”

A faint rumble growled over the top of the crowd, causing Roger to fumble on his words. The man squinted, looking confused. Yuya tried to follow his gaze without moving his head too much. It looked like he was staring at one of the tents near the end of the square, close to the temple. The curtains were drawn on this one, and only this one—but they fluttered softly.

Yuya's heart skipped a beat.

And then the tent exploded.

Screams rang out over the square as fire blossomed from inside the tent, sending out shards of wood and actual _fireballs_ in a rain over the end of the square. The crowd scattered, shrieks echoing around the chaos. Sparklers and fizzes shot out from inside the tent—fireworks?? But the fire was so high, billowing up like a horrible pillar towards the sky, higher even than the temple walls.

“That was the goddamn alcohol—” Roger was shouting. “Don't use water, you imbeciles, that was the alcohol tent—”

 _Dennis_ , Yuya thought, stumbling to his feet, his mind conjuring images of Dennis burnt and mangled from his explosion. _Oh god, Dennis—_

“ _YUYA!”_ Yuuri roared, startling Yuya a few steps forward. _“Yuya, GO!”_

Red fabric whistled around him as Phoenix threw himself in front of Yuya and the suddenly surging crowd; his arms held out as though to block any sparks from Yuya with his own robes. Yuya felt a faint pang of guilt again—then he dove his hand into his sash and dug the smokepill free. He shoved it between his teeth, forcing it down his throat and—

The world grew hazy all of a sudden. Everyone seemed to be moving...slower? Maybe it was just his imagination, but everything seemed to leave a vague afterimage as it moved, that followed moving things in a trail. In that strange, almost slow motion, he saw Phoenix's head turn towards him—saw his eyes widen, arms drop as his head whipped from side to side.

“The Emperor—” he choked. “The Emperor is gone!”

Yuya was invisible.

Yuya ducked his head down and bolted. For a few seconds, his body resisted the movement—his runes were telling him to do as he was told, to stay put. But they hadn't been properly scarred. The connection wasn't strong enough. Yuya broke through that final resistance and leaped from the stage without taking the stairs. His ankles screamed as he hit the ground, and then the world in front of him was a mass of bodies, swinging fabric, screams, fire and sparks raining from the sky. There was a fallen cloak on the ground near the stage—Yuya grabbed it, swinging it over his head and ducking his face under the hood. He didn't know how long a smokepill lasted, he needed to hide his face.

People yelped and screamed as he lurched through the crowd, ricocheting off of bodies and hitting the ground more than once. His arms screamed from where the stones had scraped them and reopened his scars. He stumbled back to his feet, tripping again over a loose cobblestone.

_I—I should go to—to the tent, make sure Dennis is okay—_

“ _You don't have time!”_ Yuuri screamed in his ear. _“Go! He fucking sacrificed himself for this, don't you dare fucking waste it!”_

“ _Yuya, go straight, there's an alley that way!”_ Yuto shouted.

“ _Run faster, Yuya! The smokepill might wear off!”_ Yugo said.

A coiled scream lodged in Yuya's throat. But— _Dennis—_

Letting out a strangled cry, Yuya bolted for the opening Yuto had pointed out. He tripped over a foot but he managed to catch himself and keep running—diving into the darkness of the alley, and vanishing into the bowels of the city.

He was—

He was free.

 


	6. SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Amusement Park](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjqwTLZcYJ8)

Yuzu gasped as something heavy thwumped onto her chest, startling her awake.

“Yuzu—Yuzu, wake up, this is important.”

Yuzu blinked blearily up through the darkness—the only light came from the starlight outside.  It illuminated only the edges of Selena's face where she loomed over Yuzu, her hair loose and tickling Yuzu's nose. The heavy thing on Yuzu's chest was Selena herself, and Yuzu groaned, shoving at Selena's chest.

“Gerroff,” she mumbled. “Selena...get off...ugh...”

Rin stirred in the bed on the other side of the room, her eyes blinking groggily.

“What time'sit?” she mumbled, rubbing the back of her hand over her eyes.

Selena slid off of Yuzu and scurried over to Rin, shaking her shoulder.

“You get up too! It's important, I promise!”

“Fuck off,” Rin groaned, pulling her pillow over her face.

Yuzu wanted nothing more than to roll back over and press her own face into her pillow, but Selena's voice was...uncharacteristically nervous, so she forced herself to sit up. Her head slumped briefly against her chest and she tried to rub her eyes with the heel of her hand.

Once she had some vague semblance of awakeness, she realized that Ruri was standing in the doorway, looking just as tired as Yuzu felt. Ruri shrugged at Yuzu's glance, clearly, she didn't know what her roommate was doing either.

Selena managed to drag Rin up to a sitting position, although Rin actually hissed at her at least once.

“Fuck,” Rin moaned, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “What's _wrong_?”

“You have to see this, please,” Selena said. “I'm not kidding, it really is important!”

Selena didn't get worked up over just anything, so...

Yuzu groaned, but she slipped her own feet to the floor, wincing at the cold stone. She grabbed her slippers and pulled her shawl off of the side of the bed to pull it over her shoulders. Rin shoved her hands under her armpits, looking like she was ready to strangle someone if they thought about touching her.

Selena scurried ahead, darting past Ruri in the doorway and into the hall. Two seconds later, she popped back, leaning in through the door with her eyes wide.

“Come on!” she hissed. “Come on!”

“Aren't we going to get in trouble for being out of bed this late?” Yuzu said.

Ruri just shrugged helplessly.

“She wouldn't let me go back to sleep either,” she said. “But she wouldn't tell me what she was talking about until she got you two.”

“Why us?” Yuzu said, rubbing at her eyes again.

Ruri frowned, her eyes half closing. Clearly, she hadn't thought about it either until now. It was one thing for Selena to drag Ruri all over the place; ever since they had gotten comfortable with each other, Selena tended to run to Ruri for everything. To come get Yuzu and Rin, too? Sure, they all hung out together, but she wasn't sure what was up.

Unless—were they already making a break for it?? But they hadn't gathered any supplies, or made any plans about where they would go after they got through the barrier, and if Ruri didn't know what was going on she couldn't summon the roc to disturb the motion barrier.

Plus, as Selena darted forward down the hall, she skipped right past Masumi's room, and this was Masumi's plan mostly anyway. Something else must be up.

The cool night air filtering through the windows slowly helped Yuzu's eyes to wake up, and she yawned. She was more alert now, at least. Rin still looked ready to murder someone, but she was shuffling along a little more quickly now. Selena kept running back and forth, darting forward, noticing that the others were far behind her, and darting back, tugging on Ruri's arm to insist that they all go faster.

Selena took them to the end of the hall at the back door, cracking it open and slipping through. The cool air brushed Yuzu's face like velvet as they stepped out, her slippers pressing into the thick grass. Why were they going out the back...? What did Selena need to show them?

At night, the sanctuary was alight with starlight, making the world look like the realm of twilight where the goddess was said to have been born. The world was in soft shades of blue and gray that made everything look more dreamlike, and made Yuzu wonder if she was really awake. The moon, however, was dark—just a thin crescent remained between the new moon tomorrow.

Selena lead them down the thin dirt path into the copse of trees. Were they going to the shrine? At this time of night? What was Selena doing out here in the first place that she would have noticed something to show them?

The trees got thicker around them, thin, twisting things with peeling white bark and rustling leaves as they pushed through the thickening undergrowth. Finally, they punched through the wall of greenery into the clearing, and the shrine appeared.

The shrine was a tiny thing, not at all like the sanctuary where the main rituals were held. Here, it was only a small house with the edges of the roof twisted up. The shingles needed some replacing, and the paint on the sides was peeling. It was only big enough to hold maybe two people at a time, or at least, that’s how it looked from the outside.  The doors were always closed and locked.  Inside, braver students who had peeked through the grille, and peered through the shadows, had said inside was only a single statue of a woman with a long veil, holding into the hilt of a sword that hung from her hands. Rumors said that supposedly, that was the blade itself that had once slain the demon thousands of years ago, left behind on the battlefield after both goddess and demon disappeared from the world. It had lost power since then, and was nothing more than a beautiful, symbolic hunk of steel.

Selena didn't take them to the shrine, though. She stopped at the edge of the clearing, where a circle of stone had been placed into the ground, the shrine at the other end of it. Circular designs were carved in thin ruts into the stone and filled with water. The middle bubbled up with a constant stream from somewhere inside the stone. Yuzu wasn't sure how it worked, but water was always running in this place, and it looked silver in the starlight, the faint sound of trickling joining the buzz of night insects.

“Look,” Selena said. “Look at that.”

Yuzu blinked. What was she looking at? She stepped forward, leaning around Selena to see...

Selena's bracelet was glowing.

Yuzu's breath caught. She looked instinctively down at her own bracelet, lifting her wrist up to check the magenta stone.

Hers was glowing too. Holding her breath, she touched the first stone gently—her finger jumped back. It was warm!

She looked back over her shoulder. Ruri and Rin were checking theirs, too, and sure enough, the gems in their bracelets were glowing.

“W-what's going on?” Rin said.

“Where did you guys get your bracelets?” Selena said.

For a moment, none of them spoke.

“Mine was an heirloom,” Ruri said. “Passed down from my mother when I turned eleven.”

“Stole mine,” Rin said bluntly.

They all looked at her. She blinked, not looking the least bit concerned.

“What? I was going for the wallet. It happened to be in her pocket.”

It wasn't worth trying to get Rin to talk about her past, so Yuzu left it.

“I...I don't remember,” Yuzu said, looking at her own bracelet. “I actually...don't remember...when I got it...”

“Mine was given to me,” Selena said. “Back when I was in the temple.”

A soft unease fell over the group. They all _knew_ that Selena had once been an acolyte of the demon's temple, left there by her parents as barely more than an infant...but thinking about it too much was terrifying. She had _been_ there...inside the demon's temple itself. What would have happened to her if she had grown up there?

“Who gave it to you?” Ruri said.

Selena shook her head.

“Never saw her face. She gave me this and told me to hang on to it...and then left without a trace.”

The starlight sparkled off of the water, and the four bracelets glowed. Yuzu bit her lip. What exactly was going on...?

“Why are they doing this now?” Rin said. “And—and we're not the only ones wearing bracelets around here, Selena, so why did you only get us?”

“Because I think it's _just_ us,” Selena said.

“How do you know that?” Rin said.

Selena looked down at the ground, biting her lip.

“I...I dunno,” she said. “I couldn't sleep, so I walked over here to think and...and the bracelet started doing this when the moon moved over the trees and hit the water. I just...I _felt_ like it was you guys. I knew I had to go find you right away.”

“So it's just a hunch?” Rin said, raising an eyebrow.

Selena's hands curled into fists.

“Yeah, it's _just_ a hunch,” Selena said. “Look, I—I don't get it either! But I saw my bracelet glow and I just—I _knew_ it was you three, and I needed to confirm. That's why I brought you over here...I needed to see if—”

Something rustled in the bushes. Ruri squeaked, and then clapped her hands over her mouth. Rin whirled with her fists up, and Selena's hand flashed to her belt where she hid her knife that she wasn't supposed to have. Yuzu felt her heart leap and she stumbled back into the clearing, eyes flashing everywhere—what had that been?

“Over there!” Rin said suddenly, and Yuzu's head whipped around.

Something moved—something _big_. For a moment, it was just a shadowy shape, flashing back into the darkness. And then it was gone.

“T-that was a person, right?” Ruri said, her voice trembling. “I didn't imagine that?”

“What would someone be doing out here at this time of night?” Rin said.

“The nuns must have seen us out of bed,” Selena said.

“If it was one of them, they would have said something and shooed us back,” said Yuzu.

“But if it was an outsider, they would have set off the barrier—”

Ruri just grabbed Selena's wrist, hauling her back into the trees.

“Let's just go,” she said, her voice cracking. “Selena, please, let's get back to the dorms, we can talk there, I promise, let's go.”

An owl hooted loudly in a nearby tree, and Yuzu jumped. The last thing her twitchy heart needed was for Ruri's nervousness to drag a flock of owls out of the trees to swarm them.

“Yeah, let's just go back,” Yuzu said. “Quick, guys—”

Her heart was thrumming so loudly in her ears. Who—who had that been? Who was listening to them in the dark? Was it one of the other Champion-Elect, had they seen them sneaking out and gone to tell on them? No, Yuzu didn't think so...she hadn't seen it very well, but it had seemed too big to be one of the kids their age.

Still, her senses were raw by the time they finally escaped the woods, practically running the rest of the way to the dorms. Yuzu hauled the door open and shooed the others in ahead of her, glancing back at the trees to see if anything was there.

Her breath caught.

Was that...was that a person shaped shadow standing there at the edge of the woods...? Like someone in a long cloak, staring at her?

Choking on an unreleased scream, Yuzu darted inside, pulling the door shut and almost slamming the bar across it to lock it. She pressed her hands to the door as she tried to catch her breath, feeling cold and shivering.

“Couldn't—this—have waited—til morning?” Rin huffed from where she had slid down against the wall.

“I didn't—I didn't think it would work without the moon,” Selena said, pressing her hand to the wall and wrapping the other around her stomach.

Ruri leaned back against the wall on the other side from Rin, looking pale and sweaty. She glanced at her bracelet again, and Yuzu looked down at her own.

They had stopped glowing. They looked as ordinary as ever. Yuzu lifted her wrist up to let the bracelet slide down her arm, staring at the design. It looked like a pair of flowers, one one each side, both connected by two crisscrossed circles. The magenta gem rested in the center of each flower, but it looked dead and lifeless again, like any other gem. _Flowers_ , Yuzu thought briefly. _Like...like my Blessing_.

Was that a connection...? Come to think of it... Ruri's bracelet was a single circle, with feathers carved opposite each other and a golden diamond in between them. Her Blessing was being able to summon birds. Rin's bracelet was a heavy, thick band carved with swirls and set with three green gems at the middle of the spirals, like gusts of wind— _her_ Blessing was the ability to create breezes. Yuzu couldn't count the number of times Rin had used that ability to make Yuzu lose her papers when walking between lessons.

And Selena's...Selena's was just a large, round blue stone, with a little circle affixed around it, one that could move back and forth across the face of the gem. Almost like...sectioning off parts of it like a moon phase...

 _Selena doesn't know what her Blessing is at all,_ Yuzu thought, bringing her eyes up to Selena. _But...in the moonlight...she just_ knew _that she needed to find the rest of us..._

She wasn't sure how to phrase it, but she opened her mouth with a question she wasn't sure how to ask. Selena, however, talked over her.

“I'm sorry,” she muttered, looking down at the ground. “I just...I didn't know what I should do.”

Ruri shook her head.

“No...I think—I think something about that was important, too...” she said.

She stared at her own bracelet, frowning.

“Have any of your bracelets ever glowed like this before...?” she said.

Selena's eyes shifted.

“...once,” she said. “It was...a long time ago.”

She swallowed.

"It was when I saw the Demon Emperor."

Yuzu's head jerked up, and Rin's and Ruri's eyes snapped to Selena too.

“Y-you never said that before,” Rin said, her face white. “You _saw_ him?”

“He was just a kid back then,” Selena said, looking away. “About my age.”

Selena's eyes half closed and her lips tightened.  She didn’t seem about to talk anymore on the matter.

Yuzu clutched at her own heart, feeling a little sick. The demon was something that she didn't like to think about—what was he like, even? Did he look human, or was it like the stories that Masumi made up, that he was some gray, scaly monster with horns and spikes from his shoulders?

“My bracelet glowed then.  It stopped after he was out of sight.”

She glanced at the others, frowning.

“You don't have to look at me like I'm about to die,” she said. “I told you. The demon was just a kid back then.”

“He's still a _demon_ ,” Rin said. “You know? The thing that almost destroyed the _entire world?_ And you're acting like it was no big deal that you were _feet_ away from him?”

Selena shifted, looking uncomfortable.

“What about you guys? Your bracelets ever do this?” she said, clearly trying to change the subject.

Rin shook her head, and Ruri looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking her head too.

Something in Yuzu's memory sparked.

“I...” she said. “Y-yes...I think it did.”

Everyone looked at her, and she bit her lip, bringing her hand to her mouth to think.

“I think it must have been...back then...”

“Back then?” Ruri said.

Rin's eyes lit up with recognition, though.

“You mean—back when you lived in the capital? Is this about that kid?”

“The one that she always talks about?” Selena said.

“I don't _always_ talk about him!” Yuzu said, her face flushing. “Rin talks about Yugo way more than I talk about him.”

“Hey!” Rin said.

“Which kid?” Ruri said, blinking.

Selena rolled her eyes.

“Is your head up in the clouds with your birds, too? You know, the one that Yuzu talks about like, he's the reason she fights so hard and all that ballad-adventure-hero bullshit.”

“I hate all of you,” Yuzu muttered.

Her mind, though, went back to him. That boy from all those years ago.

She had been barely nine-years-old. Back then, she and her father still lived in the capital. It was two days after the announcement that the demon's First Awakening had occurred on the night of the eclipse. The Final Awakening would be in a few years, and then the demon would awaken fully, and destroy the world as he had tried all those thousands of years ago. Her father was talking to someone about paying for a carriage to smuggle him and Yuzu out of the capital. He wanted out after that announcement, and tensions were already high enough.

Yuzu wandered away, down an alley, after a cat she had seen in the garbage, and she had come to the walls of the temple itself. She didn't know to be scared. Her father had never let her see the temple before then, she only knew whispers about a monster that lived somewhere in the city.

That's when she had seen him.

He looked the same age as her, huddled on a balcony of the temple that was high enough that Yuzu could see him if she toddled back away from the wall. He must have been an acolyte, Yuzu thought in hindsight, hiding from the head priests. He looked so small from where she was...so scared, his hands gripped against his red and green hair, huddled in a ball and shaking, pressed up as hard as he could against the railings as though to hide from the doorway.

Yuzu had tried calling to him, but he was far enough away that he couldn't hear her over the sounds of the city. She wanted to reach him, though...she wanted to see if he was okay. There was a black, dead tree curling up next to the balcony, the branches just barely too high for a boy his size to reach. Yuzu had found herself staring at that tree.

That was the day her Blessing emerged.

The boy's head had snapped up at the movement out of the corner of his eye. He reached up, the fear suddenly wiped away as he reached wonderingly towards the tree, which was suddenly alight with blossoms.

One of the blossoms spiraled down from tree, landing in his outstretched hand. He looked at it with such wide, wondering eyes...and then...he had smiled. It was like the fear had vanished out of him.

Only moments after that, Yuzu's father had found her, panicking—just in time to see three priests swarming on the balcony and dragging the boy, kicking and screaming, back inside the temple, priests shouting that the tree needed to be cut and burned immediately.

So quickly...the boy's smile had vanished so quickly...that was the kind of world that the demon had made.

Yuzu wanted to save him. That boy was probably still there, in the temple, being forced to train as an acolyte. He was probably still lost, and scared...she wanted...she wanted to make him smile again. She wanted to fight and end this war, to make the world a happier place again. So that no one would have to be scared anymore.

“I think it might have glowed when my Blessing worked for the first time,” Yuzu said. “It was...so long ago, though...I can't quite remember.”

“I don't see a connection between the three events that we can confirm,” Ruri said. “What would cause our bracelets to react like that?”

“Being close to the demon?” Rin said. “Yuzu was by the temple when hers did it, and Selena was feet away from the monster.”

“But that...would mean...” Ruri said, looking at the floor.

Silence followed her words. It took Yuzu half a second for Ruri's implication to sink in, and then she felt the color bleach out of her face.

That would mean that...the demon had been close to them tonight....

_Was that the shape in the woods? Was that...what was watching us tonight...?_

“There's no way,” Rin said, her voice actually shaking very softly. “The—the barriers would have alerted the nuns.”

“That thing we saw moving was too big,” Selena said. “I told you, the demon is like—our age. That thing looked like an adult.”

“It's a fucking _demon_ , Selena, do you think that it grows like a person?” Rin said.

“Sh!” Ruri said, and they all fell silent. “I think—I think we need to go back to our rooms.”

“Shouldn't we tell someone about the thing we saw?” Yuzu said.

“We'd have to admit that we were out of bed after hours,” Ruri said, looking down at the floor. “Not only that but—if it was really something dangerous, the barrier _would_ have caught it. There are constant patrols. And...we're safer in here.”

“But—” Rin said.

Ruri held up her hands.

“We don't have to sleep,” she said. “But...we'd do better if we at least waited until morning. The world will look clearer then.”

Yuzu shuddered in spite of herself, twisting her bracelet around her wrist.

 _Could the demon have really been_ here...?

 


	7. SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Fukujusou](https://youtu.be/dsG6nvIc12o)

Crow Hogan pulled his hood further against his face as another clump of priests rushed down the street past him. He had the look of a hobbling homeless person down, he just had to shuffle at the right speed and everyone aggressively ignored him. Even angry priests looking for the perpetrator of a terrorist attack during the Emperor's Solstice festival.

Crow wanted to run, wanted to bolt as fast as he could back home, check on Shinji and the kids, find out what _stupid_ bastard had decided to pull this bullshit move, blowing up shit at the _Solstice_ . Was it Damon?? _I swear to goddess, if I get my hands on him..._

He couldn't run, though, running attracted attention. He faked a limp as he made his way down to the alley that would get him into the slums. A terrorist attack, right on the tail of the rebellion failing...it was either a stupid move or a brilliant one, but either way, he hadn't heard a thing about it—especially after he had told everyone to lay low. God, what stupid decision had it been to make _him_ the de facto leader if Jack died? He didn't know what the fuck he was doing...he didn't have the charisma that Jack had. He didn't have that kingly presence. He was just a tired man who wanted to not have to bolt all his shutters and alternate watches every night in the fear that someone would come and murder his children.

The city was swarming with those hated priests now. It seemed like a bit of a crazy reaction just to find the perpetrator of one explosion—the person responsible had probably gotten themselves blown up anyway—but he didn't pretend like he knew how their minds worked. Find the culprit, make an example of him. Scare the people into obeying the Emperor. That was how they worked.

 _They look like headless chickens right now, though_ , he thought, watching another trio bolt past him, darting into alleys with their demon bracers glinting black. _This really spooked them..._

If they were in the alleys, he'd have to be moving even slower. He ground his teeth, shuffling into the alley and starting to make his slow way back home. He tripped over a bit of trash scattered from a huge pile that had been left to rot on the side here, wrinkling his nose as he tried to pick his way past it.

Behind him, he heard a sudden scuffle of feet. That didn't sound like a priest—too small. Some street urchin, probably, not knowing any better than to run. He started to turn, looking for the kid—he didn't really have _time,_ but he couldn't just leave if some scared kid was here—

“Oof!”

“Ah!”

The shape ricocheted off of him, arms wheeling as the kid stumbled back. Crow lost his balance, but he managed to regain himself just in time to grab the flailing wrist, yanking him back from hitting the ground.

However, in the motion, the kid's hood flew back and—

Crow's entire mind went white for just one second.

This was...he was imagining this, right...?

Wide eyes stared back at him, a round, white face with his hair plastered to his forehead from the sweat. Red eyes. Burning crimson ones.

Crow had never seen the Emperor up close—just from a distance, up on his faraway balcony, or on the stage at the Solstice festival. Always silent. Always expressionless. Always staring.

But there was no mistaking it. The shaggy green and red hair trimmed around his face and falling between his eyes, the red eyes, the black robes embroidered with red designs. Crow was holding onto the _Emperor_. The demon himself.

 _He's right here,_ he thought, staring, dumbfounded. _He's—what is he doing out here?_

And then, _he killed Jack._

A white hot anger coursed through him, his hand going for his knife. But then...

A shout echoed from somewhere behind them, one of the priests calling to another trio. The Emperor's face went white. He tugged at Crow's grip weakly, his other hand fumbling for his hood and pulling it back over his face. Crow's hand froze. His brain slowly chugged back to life.

_It's the Emperor. He's not in the temple. There was an explosion, but there are too many priests running around just to find a culprit. That means they're looking for the Emperor; he went missing in the commotion._

_This kid looks—scared. He reacted to the priests shouting and he looks scared._

_Is he running from them?_

A flash of red fabric peeked around the corner and Crow made a decision.

He yanked the Emperor forward and around, shoving him back down behind the pile of trash and then dropping down with his hands pressed to the wall over him, his cloak covering the both of them. He held his breath—in the darkness of the alley, they shouldn't be visible against the trash, as long as they held still...

Feet scuffled at the end of the alley. Low voices hissed and echoed against the walls.

“Anything?”

“Nothing. We've searched the whole of this district.”

“ _Damn_. Get back to the temple and report to Priest Phoenix.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The feet scuffled again, and then, after a few moments...silence.

Crow's ears were filled only with the sound of his heart thumping and his and the boy's heavy breaths. Beneath him, the Emperor looked pale and drawn, his eyes wide as he stared at Crow.  He had a frozen sort of face and stance, like he was waiting to see what Crow was giong to do first.

Up close, Crow noticed some other things that weren't exactly what he expected from the Emperor. First...he was young. Younger than Crow had thought from a distance. He was no older than fourteen at the most. His face was thin and faintly sunken, too, and the wrist that Crow had grabbed was bony, as though he hadn't eaten well in years. And he was _foreign_. Zarkania was mostly made up of Zarkanians and Zenduyans like Crow. This kid looked like he was from the East; with large, angled eyes and high cheekbones, a faint orangey tone to his pale skin. He must be Makeese, or Jeong, or something else from Iwamaki to the east. What was he doing here being the Emperor of Zarkania?

 _He's scared_ , he thought again. But battling for dominance with that thought was, _he killed Jack._

His lip curled as he pulled his knife free from his belt, pressing the tip of it into the stone next to the boy's head. The boy flinched and his body seized up, eyes fixed on the blade. Crow felt...sort of guilty. But this was the _Emperor_. The demon who had terrorized his country for years, the one that he had lost hundreds of loved ones to, and he was right within Crow's grip.

“Now you pay attention,” he said, his voice low. “I don't know what's going on. So you're going to tell me. And you should be grateful that I don't kill you right now.”

The boy's eyes flickered—he didn't seem to be able to look Crow in the eyes.

“What are you doing out here?” he said. “Answer quickly.”

“Y-you can't kill me,” was what tumbled out of the boy's mouth. “I-I'm sorry. I know you want to, and I—I'm going to find someone who can.”

It was—definitely not what Crow had been expecting. His knife slipped a little and his expression slumped with surprise.

“What are you talking about?”

The boy fumbled with the end of his robe.

“I...I can't die,” he said, his voice actually sounding choked. “I'm—I'm a monster who can't die. So I'm—I'm going to find the goddess's champion. I'm going to find her so she can kill me, and t-then everyone can smile again.”

He sounded... _human_. Crow had never heard the Emperor speak before. He sounded like the other young kids that scurried about the slums digging food out of garbage piles and begging for coins from passersby. How old was he? He couldn't be older than fourteen. Fifteen at the most.

“You're going—what, to commit suicide?” Crow said, incredulous. “You expect me to believe that? If you want to die, why have you been—”

His eyes flickered almost of their own accord down towards the hem of the Emperor's collar. Was that...?

The Emperor flinched as Crow hooked a finger into the collar of his robes, tugging them down slightly. Crow swore.

The boy was covered in blood runes. Even this tiny bit of skin was scarred almost beyond recognition, the telltale curves and sigils that were used to keep _criminals_ in line. If that was how bad it was up here, what did the rest of his torso look like?? With that many blood runes, he'd barely be able to...to move...or make any kind of expression...

Crow's fingers twitched up to his own face, tracing the faint scars left there from his own brief stint in the prisons. They had scarred over long ago and their power had faded after he was released and they weren't being reapplied anymore. But he remembered the terrible, stomach wrenching feeling of not being in control of his own body, forced to obey the commands of the prison wards.

 _The Emperor is covered in blood runes, and he's running from his own priests,_ Crow thought. _Could it...be..._

His mind flashed backwards, to a day spent in a quiet room with a heavy atmosphere, the fire crackling in between the silence.

“ _You think that the demon isn't real?”_ Shinji hissed. Jack just nodded.

“ _The demon weapons,”_ Crow had pointed out. _“Where do those come from then?”_

“ _It wouldn't be the first time that the priests hid technological advancements from us,”_ Jack said. _“They're a tight knit group. They could hide the means of production.”_

“ _So what are you saying that means?”_ Shinji said, leaning forward with brow furrowed. _“The demon isn't real? At all?”_

“ _He's made up. Based on an old myth and backed up with technology that looks like magic to scare us into staying compliant. Why do you think it's a kid? Easier to control. Easier to keep power in the priest's hands instead of the fake Emperor taking power for himself.”_

Crow looked down at the boy in front of him. Scared, young, and covered in blood runes.

 _Goddess,_ he thought, although the goddess had nothing to do with any of this. _Jack...I think you were right._

The boy’s eyes were still fixed on Crow’s knife, and when he started to move it away, the boy flinched.

“Please,” he gasped, almost involuntarily.  “I-I’ll be good...please don’t...”

Crow felt something in him shatter.  Oh _goddess._

He took his knife away quickly, stowing it back in his pocket and holding up both hands to show that he was unarmed.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said gently.  He had seen eyes like this boy’s before: on abused children, watching and waiting for where the next smack or physical punishment was going to come from.  He could feel his heart breaking.  He was just a kid...

“My name is Crow,” he said, keeping his voice low and gentle. “Crow Hogan. You can come with me for now. I promise I won't turn you over to the priests.”

He reached out a careful hand towards the boy.  The boy's lips parted briefly, eyes widening. For a moment, he twitched, looking like he was getting ready to bolt.

And then, slowly, he reached his hand up to meet Crow's. As Crow helped him to his feet, the boy mumbled something that he didn't quite catch.

“What was that?”

The boy looked down at the ground, shoulders hunched, almost...shy.

“Yuya,” he whispered. “My name is Yuya.”

* * *

Yuya followed the man called Crow with a growing uncertainty in his chest. The man had shielded him from the priests, and had promised that he wouldn't turn Yuya over, but...he had heard his thoughts, too.

_Kill him—kill him for killing Jack kill him for killing Jack—_

The thoughts had silenced since then and Yuya couldn't hear anything else, so maybe Crow wasn't angry...? But that made no sense. If he knew that man, Jack Atlas, the one that Yuya had been told to execute...why would he just let that go? Maybe it was...the blood runes. He had some on his face, thinner and smoother than Yuya's. One carved from each eye down his cheek, and one carved into his forehead in the shape of an M. It looked like they had only been applied once, instead of constantly reopened in Yuya's case.

“ _He was probably arrested for something,”_ Yuuri said. _“They mark criminals on their faces. Keeps them docile in prison and then they're visible for everyone to see even after the power fades.”_

Yuya shivered slightly. How much would it hurt to have the knife applied to his face...? The rituals were bad enough as it was...

“ _Can we trust him?”_ Yuto said. _“He wanted to kill us.”_

“ _I don't think he's stupid,”_ Yuuri said. _“He saw the runes.”_

“ _So?”_ said Yugo.

“ _That means he's probably figured it out. We're a pawn to the priests.”_

Yuuri's voice was rough and harsh, and for a moment, everyone fell silent. They might be all trapped in this situation together, but Yuuri had grown up in the temple, constantly monitored by the priests. He had never been outside it in his life.

“ _But what is he going to do, then?”_ Yuya thought at them, staring at Crow. The man walked directly beside him, tense and stiff. He didn't let Yuya fall behind him, probably to keep an eye on him or to make sure he didn't try to bolt. Yuya was sort of considering it, but...the truth was, he didn't know the way out of the city. He could walk towards the looming walls in the distance and just burn a hole through, but that would make it too easy for the priests to follow. He _needed_ help somehow.

Especially since...tomorrow was a new moon...

“ _I'm guessing he plans to use us as a pawn as well,”_ Yuuri said. _“If he knew Jack Atlas, he's from the rebellion. If he has us, it’s leverage against the priests. He could also convince us to deny that we're a demon and that the religion is fake, turning believers against the temple.”_

Yuya rubbed the back of his neck.

“ _You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?”_ he said.

Yuuri just huffed.

“ _Trying to join with the resistance to pull the temple down from the inside was one of my potential strategies, yes. I have thought about it.”_

“ _Wow,”_ Yugo said. _“That's pretty cool.”_

“ _You being impressed doesn't make me happy.”_

Yuya let his eyes slide over to Crow as his other souls bickered. He looked straight ahead, eyes shadowed by his hood. He was taller than Yuya, but not by incredibly much, with strong arms that made Yuya think he must work by building things or something. Under the hood, only some of his spiky orange hair was visible. He had a very strong looking face with a faint tan; whether it was natural or from working in the sun, Yuya wasn't sure.

Crow finally took them down a very thin alley, gesturing for Yuya to go first—it was too thin to walk side by side.

“Just go to the end,” he said. “My house is the one with the torn up flag hanging from it.”

Yuya nodded and slipped into the crack.

They walked for another minute or so before the alley opened up again and Yuya stumbled forward.

It looked like a dead end, he thought. The buildings were crunched together, looming upwards into the sky so that it seemed like the were falling in on each other. There were a few boarded up windows and some piles of trash that seemed to have been blown here by the wind or something. One of the house fronts had a torn up red flag hanging limp from the window.

Crow popped out of the alley behind him.

“You stay right next to me,” he said. “I'm going to have to explain what's going on.”

Yuya nodded. He let Crow guide him to the door, where Crow tapped in quickly in a series of knocking rhythms. The sound echoed for a moment, and then the door cracked open.

“Crow? You're back already?”

“Shinji, there's something we need to talk about right now. Where are the kids?”

“In their room—should I go get them?”

“No. Not yet.”

The door opened fully. The man was taller than Crow, but probably about the same age; somewhere in his mid to late twenties. He was paler than Crow, with dark indigo hair cropped close around his head. They had the same strong arms, though.

Shinji's eyes dropped to Yuya. Instinctively, Yuya dropped his head so that the cloak could cover his face, pulling on the hem with both hands.

“Who's this? Did you pick up another stray?”

“Inside first,” Crow said. “And Shinji—you have to promise me you're going to listen before you say _anything_.”

Yuya peeked out from under his hood to see Shinji frowning, his brow furrowing. But he nodded, and stepped aside to let them both in. Crow put his hand on Yuya's back to push him gently forward, and Yuya slipped inside.

Shinji closed and locked the door behind them, and Yuya glanced around the new space.

It was nothing like the temple, but he supposed it wouldn't be. The house was tiny, cramped, and falling apart. This front room was attached to one other room in the back, lit only by one candle on a table, and there was a set of stairs directly to Yuya's right. There was a small door to the left that might lead to another room, or maybe a closet. The walls were peeling and cracked, the wood warped by weight and damp and time.

“All right,” Shinji said. “So what is this that you think that I'm about to jump to some kind of conclusion?”

Crow glanced at Yuya, and Yuya hesitated.

“ _They can't kill you,”_ Yuuri pointed out.

“ _It'll hurt if they try...”_ Yuto said.

Yuya didn't really have any options, though. Biting his lip, he slowly lifted his hood away from his face and let it fall around his shoulders.

For a moment, no one spoke.

Then Shinji swore in several languages that Yuya didn't even know, and his mind raced with _it's him I'll fucking kill him he killed Jack he killed everyone I'll destroy him—_

“Is this what I think it is?” he said.

“Yes,” said Crow.

“You went to the Solstice festival to make sure no one did anything stupid, and _you_ kidnapped the _Emperor?_ ”

Shinji wasn’t shouting, but his voice cracked angrily and Yuya flinched in spite of himself.

“H-he didn't kidnap me,” Yuya said, but Shinji's furious eyes swung to him and he fell silent, hunching his shoulders around him.

“Listen,” Crow hissed. “Shinji. Shinji, _listen_.”

Shinji was breathing heavily, but he seemed to attempt to calm down.

“You remember what Jack said those weeks ago,” Crow said. “About the Emperor being a figurehead?”

Shinji winced at the mention of Jack, but he nodded slowly.

“And you think...”

“He escaped. On his own. I ran into him. Shinji—he's covered in blood runes.”

Shinji's eyes flashed, and he glanced at Yuya. Crow looked at him too, nodding down towards Yuya's cloak.

“ _Show them,”_ Yuto said. _“Maybe they'll listen to what we need if they know what's going on.”_

Yuya hesitated, feeling a little nervous. But he gripped the edges of his robe, pulling it down slightly so that the scars across his collarbone would be visible in the dim light. Shinji's face changed, his lips parting and his eyes widening.

“Goddess,” he swore. “So he's—”

“It's like Jack said. The Emperor is a fake to keep us in line.”

Yuya's head lifted.

“I—I'm sorry,” he mumbled. “I'm not—entirely—not entirely a fake. I really am—a demon.”

The two men glanced at him.

“I need to find the goddess's champion,” he said. “I need to find her so that she can destroy me...that way everyone will be free again.”

“The goddess's champion?” Shinji said. “That's an old wives' tale.”

Crow actually looked...distressed. He stepped forward, putting a hand on Yuya's shoulder. Yuya flinched, but he didn't hear any anger or destructive thoughts in Crow's head, so he wasn't going to hurt him.

“Listen,” he said. “I don't know what those bastard priests told you, but they were using whatever they could to control you. You're not a monster. You're just a kid. You don't need to go and get yourself killed.”

“No, you don't understand,” Yuya said, feeling panic spike in his chest. “I have to die—I have to die before the eclipse happens and I awaken fully, there's no coming back—”

“We're going to help you now, okay?” Crow said, gripping both of Yuya's shoulders. His eyes met Yuya's and Yuya found that he couldn't look away. “Listen. The priests can't touch you anymore. You just have to trust us, okay?”

Yuya's throat was dry. They didn't understand. They couldn't.

“ _They don't believe we're dangerous,”_ Yuto said, his voice trembling slightly.

“ _Did they say there were kids in here?”_ said Yugo, sounding frightened. _“What if we—what if we hurt them?”_

Yuya opened his mouth again, but Crow just lightly squeezed his shoulders.

“You should eat something,” he said. He had a kind voice. He really was treating Yuya like just some random, abused child used by the priests to fake a religion. If only he wasn’t just half right.

Yuya swallowed back his protests. He would try to explain later; Shinji was still looking at him with uncertainty and he guessed the Crow probably needed time to talk to him. Yuya had until tomorrow for the new moon to rise. He would try to explain to them before it happened—and if he couldn't...he'd leave. He'd find someplace to lock himself up until the episode passed.

Yuya let Crow lead him into the next room; it was a small kitchen, a little stove and pipe set into the wall in the back. A pot sat on top of the stove, steaming slightly. Crow pulled out a rickety chair and settled Yuya into it. It squeaked and shifted under his weight, and Yuya rested on his feet, afraid that the chair might actually shatter underneath him.

Then Crow banged hard on the wall three times, shaking the furniture and making Yuya flinch.

“Kids! Dinner!”

Overhead, Yuya heard the floor squeak. Then there was a patter-patter-rumble sound of feet running across the floor and down the stairs. Yuya turned nervously towards the archway just in time to see a trio of children stumble through.

“Papa, you're back! You said you wouldn't be back for dinner!” the tallest said. She looked like she might be ten or eleven, her thickly curled red hair twisted into twin buns.

“I got off early,” Crow said. “You kids give your dad any trouble?”

“Nope,” the two boys chorused together. The older one looked like he might be about ten, with his hair shoved messily under a cap and a dirt smudge across his nose. The other one couldn't be more than six, with round, red cheeks and a floppy hat that slipped over his eyes.

“Who are you?” the youngest boy asked, stopping and staring at Yuya.

“Do we have a guest?” the girl asked, wide eyed.

“ _Oh no,”_ Yugo mumbled. _“There really are kids here...”_

“ _Yugo, calm down,”_ Yuto soothed.

“ _I can't do it again, Yuto, I can't do it, I don't want—not again, please, not kids—”_

“ _Both of you, shut up, you're worrying Yuya,”_ Yuuri said in a low hiss.

Yuya realized that he hadn't answered for a much longer time than was probably normal, distracted by the voices in his head. He fumbled to catch back up.

“I-I'm Yuya,” he said. “It's nice to meet you.”

“He's staying with us for dinner,” Crow said. “Don't bother him too much, you hear me?”

“We won't,” the older boy said, rolling his eyes.

“This is Amanda, Frank, and Tanner,” Crow said, pointing to the girl, the older boy, and the younger boy in turn. “Now all of you wash your hands, I'm getting the soup.”

The kids scurried across to the sink, where Amanda and Frank briefly had a pushing battle with faint bickering while they both tried to wash their hands first. Yuya just stared down at his hands. He was catching bits of thoughts from Shinji behind him. _If he touches the kids, I'll kill him._

Shinji didn't trust him yet. And he probably shouldn't. Yuya swallowed thickly. He could still feel Yugo's panic swirling through his mind, and Yuto and Yuuri were trying really hard not to express their own. Yuya couldn't blame any of them, though. The last time they had been around kids of this age...

“Here,” Crow said, plopping a bowl in front of Yuya and making him jump. “No spoons, sorry. You'll have to just drink it—careful, it's hot though.”

The soup steamed up over Yuya's face and immediately, his mouth began to water. It smelled _heavenly_. It seemed a simple meal, just hot, watery broth that smelled faintly of chicken, with floating bits of shriveled vegetables, but—Yuya's stomach rumbled. When was the last time he had eaten anything other than dry bread?

The other three flopped into seats around the table and began to blow on their own hot soups. Crow ruffled Amanda's hair as he walked past, slipping into the room behind them. Yuya was facing away from that room, but he noticed the movement. Crow was going to talk to Shinji, probably. Yuya kept one ear behind him, but they were talking too low, he couldn't hear their conversation.

“ _Probably about how best to use you to further their cause,”_ Yuuri said. _“That's all we are in the end—someone's fucking tool.”_

“ _Yuuri,”_ Yuya said. _“Please...Crow is trying to help us...”_

“Yuya!”

Yuya flinched at his name being spoken too loud. Amanda looked a little guilty for a minute, and he realized she had been calling him several times. He had been distracted by the voices in his head.

“You're a little slow, huh?” Frank said.

“Frank!” Amanda said, glaring at him. Frank just shrugged and went back to drinking his soup. She looked back at Yuya then. “Ignore him, he's an idiot. I was just trying to ask where you're from.”

Yuya hesitated, lips parting. They didn't recognize him...? Well, he didn't get presented to the people very often, and he rarely saw children in the crowd...Crow and Shinji probably kept them hidden away from state functions. It was safer that way. Should he...tell the truth...?

“ _Definitely not,”_ Yuuri said. _“Make something up. You're good at that.”_

“ _Well thanks for the assistance,”_ Yuya said.

“I'm...I'm not really from anywhere,” he said out loud, swirling his soup around in his bowl to cool it.

“Oh—you live on the street?” Tanner said. He was so short that his arms barely reached over the table, it looked almost comical.

“Yes,” Yuya said, grabbing onto that story.

“We used to do that too,” Amanda said, nodding with the sage assurance that only a child under the age of twelve could have. “It was really cold...Papa and Dad bring people home for dinner a lot.”

“I'm very grateful,” Yuya said.

“You should eat the soup before it gets cold,” Amanda said.

Yuya nodded. His stomach rumbled, and he tipped the bowl towards his lips. The first sip burned his tongue, but he didn't care—it was so _good_. Oh gods...he couldn't remember having something so flavorful before.

It took him only a few minutes to suck down the soup, and his stomach panged softly for more. He just set the bowl down, though. They didn't seem like they had very much, so he shouldn't ask for seconds. He didn't _need_ to eat to survive, anyway. He'd manage.

He jumped when he realized that Crow and Shinji had walked back into the kitchen—somehow he had been so occupied by the food that he hadn't even heard them. His heart fluttered. If he was so easily distracted, how was he going to make it all the way out of the city and then go looking for the champion when he had nothing to go on?

“Clean up your dishes, kids, and get yourselves ready for bed,” Shinji said. “I let you stay up too late already.”

“Aww, but I wanna talk to Yuya more,” Tanner said.

“Will Yuya be staying with us for a while?” Amanda said.

“We'll talk in the morning,” Shinji said firmly. “Let's get this cleaned up.”

Yuya tried to stand, picking up his bowl, but Amanda snatched it from his hands.

“No! You're a guest, you sit down! Frank, come and help me!”

“Aw, why me?”

Yuya sat awkwardly in his chair, hands pressed to his lap and eyes on the table while he listened to the clatter of the kids bickering and washing up. Tanner tried to hang around Yuya, but Shinji shooed him up the stairs, and then the other two after them.

“Can Yuya sleep by me?” Frank said.

“I was gonna ask first, you don't even care, Frank!” Amanda said.

“Just get to bed,” Crow said. “We'll be in soon.”

The kids bickered some more between them as their feet clumped up the stairs and to the floor above, and then the kitchen fell silent again. Yuya felt his ears ringing with it—this was so strange, so unlike what he had been living in for the last five years. It almost felt...a little bit nice? He had food in his stomach and there had been cheerful chatter around him that wasn't coming from the voices in his head.

Now, of course, he was alone with Crow and Shinji again. Shinji still looked irritable, but Yuya didn't hear anything angry from his thoughts. Yuya still felt incredibly tense, though, especially when Crow slid into the seat across from him.

“You feeling alright?” Crow said.

Yuya nodded.

“Thank you for the food,” he whispered.

“Did you get enough to eat?”

“Yes, sir.”

Crow frowned.

“You don't have to call me 'sir.'”

Yuya just ducked his head. It had just slipped out. He wasn't allowed to talk to many people, and except for Dennis, he had to be careful of not angering the ones he was allowed to talk to.

“Hey,” Crow said soothingly. “Listen. I told you we were going to help. Okay?”

Yuya nodded, but he didn't feel comfortable enough to meet Crow's eyes.

“Can you talk about what happened in the temple?” Crow said. “Do you feel comfortable with that?”

“What...exactly do you want to know?”

“We want you to talk with some of the other resistance leaders,” Shinji said, his voice blunt.

“ _I told you,”_ Yuuri said.

Yuya swallowed, wringing his hands in his lap. He glanced up to see Crow shooting a glare at Shinji. Crow looked back at Yuya again, trying to smooth out his expression.

“That's only if you feel safe,” Crow said. “I told you I wouldn't turn you over to the priests. And I won't. I'll keep you safe.”

He sighed.

“But...a lot of people have died because of the Zarkanian Temple. If there's a way that we can weaken their power...it would protect you and a lot of other people.”

Yuya squeezed his hands together.

“I need to find the goddess's champion,” he said. “Once I'm dead, the religion will fall apart...”

“Yuya,” Crow said. “Listen...come on, look at me. The priests were lying to you. You don't need to go looking for a way to die.”

“Please,” Yuya whispered. “Tomorrow's the new moon. I can't—I can't be around people on the new moon.”

They didn't understand. They thought he was just a powerless puppet. They didn't realized that he wasn't a puppet—he was a _weapon_.

“ _Yuya, we need to leave here as soon as we can,”_ Yuuri said. _“Tell them what they want to hear. We'll leave in the night.”_

Yuya swallowed. He didn't want to lie...please, why wouldn't they just listen to him?

“Nothing bad is going to happen to you,” Crow said. “I promise. Shinji and I are going to keep you safe. You don't have to come with us to the resistance meeting if you don't want to.”

Yuya's shoulders slumped slightly. They weren't going to listen. They weren't going to understand. He had to find the goddess's champion so that she could kill him...it was the only way to save everyone from him...

Yuuri was right. He had to lie.

“No,” he mumbled. “No...it's...okay. I'll...I'll come with you.”

“Are you sure?”

Yuya wanted to cry. Crow sounded so kind, so gentle. After the way he had met Yuya, he was so willing to reach out to him. So willing to put himself on the line to protect him. Lying felt like a terrible betrayal of that.

Yuya nodded.

He glanced up to see that Crow was smiling. It was...the first time in a while that Yuya had seen someone smiling at him like that. He felt his heart clench up.  There were...good people in the world...

“Thank you, Yuya,” Crow said, putting his hands onto the table with a sigh. “You can sleep here for the night, okay?”

“Thank you,” Yuya whispered.

He dug his fingers into his robes. He would have to find his way to the goddess's champion on his own.


	8. EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Honkinsenka](https://youtu.be/1elhLopc8To)

The library was old, older than the rest of the convent and settlement. You could smell it in the dust, in the heavy pine scent of the wood it had been built from. The ceiling arched high above Yuzu as she slipped in through the great oaken doors, trying to keep them from falling too loudly.

The windows illuminated motes of dust that swirled at her passage, gold from the setting sun sending the shelves aflame with light. A few students looked up from their scattered positions at various tables and nooks behind the shelves, but most were absorbed in their books and studies.

Yuzu nodded to a few she knew as she made her way towards the back, weaving through the mismatched shelves. The shelves fell away back here, replaced only with rows of tables and more shelves lining the walls instead of standing free form. Unlit oil lamps rested on the tables, ready to illuminate a late night study session. She ignored these, too, walking to the door in the back and tapping the lock lightly with her pointer finger and then her ring finger. It unlocked at the touch and she pushed through into the offices.

They were mostly empty at this time of day, so her footsteps echoed a bit.

“Yuzu? Is that you?”

Yuzu blinked back to herself, shaking her head.

“Yeah, it's me, dad,” she called. She walked down the row of tiny cubicles to the one in the back, leaning her head around the corner. Her father glanced up from a notebook. He had dark circles under his eyes that indicated he hadn't slept last night.

“Ugh, dad,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Did you forget what time it was?”

“What do you mean? What time is it? Isn't it five?”

“It's ten. In the morning.”

Her father stared wide eyed at her for a moment. He fumbled into his pocket for his watch and clicked it open. With a muffled sound that might have been a swear, he shot to his feet and almost fell over. Yuzu had to grab him by the sleeve to prevent him from crashing into his desk.

“I can't believe I forgot to sleep again! Oh—I haven't eaten either!”

“I figured,” Yuzu said, rolling her eyes. “I know you want to be the best teacher, dad, but you don't have to kill yourself while doing it.”

Her father gave her a sheepish, lopsided grin, and she just rolled her eyes and smiled. She tugged on his sleeve.

“Come on. Let's get you some breakfast.”

“You're a good kid, Yuzu,” he said, clapping her on the shoulder. “Always coming to check in on your hopeless dad.”

“I wouldn't have to if you'd stop being so hopeless,” she said, but she laughed.

They made their way out of the office space.

“Are you done with lessons already?” he asked on the way back through the library.

“This is my free period,” she said. “I'm actually supposed to be meditating in the sanctuary right now.”

Her father made a soft tutting sound, but he grinned at her with crossed eyes. She grinned back, sticking out her tongue.

“And you came to see your old man instead? I'm flattered that you put me ahead of the goddess on the priority list.”

Yuzu snorted, putting her hand over her mouth. Her father let out one of his huge, echoing laughs too, drawing a few glares from studying students. They left the library quickly, stepping back out into the sunlight.

“Actually,” Yuzu said, as the door swung shut behind them. “I...I had some questions I needed answered...ones that the goddess probably couldn't answer for me.”

She tugged on the end of her tunic, twisting it between her hands. Her father paused midstep, and then started walking again to keep up with Yuzu's pace. His longer legs managed to overtake her quickly, and he walked a little ahead of her so that he could lean over and meet her eyes.

“What's going on?” he said.

Yuzu's hands released her tunic and she reached for her bracelet instead, starting to twist it around her wrist.

“Um...” How would she phrase it? Could she even bring it up without telling her father that she and the girls had been out of bed in the middle of the night when they were supposed to be kept safely in the dorms? And what about...whatever was watching them? Yuzu still felt like they should report that to the monks...even if it meant getting in trouble...

She realized with a start that she had stopped walking, her thoughts causing her to pause. Her father waited patiently for her to talk again. She licked her lips.

“Where did...this come from?”

She lifted her arm up so that her bracelet caught the light. For a moment, her father's lips parted and he just stared at it.

“Your bracelet?” he said. “I...hm.”

He rubbed his chin, eyes narrowing.

“You've...almost always had that thing, haven't you?” he said. “Where _did_ it come from...?”

“You mean you don't know either?” Yuzu said, arm dropping to her side in shock. “Babies aren’t just—born with a bracelet, you know.”

“I didn't say that,” he said, holding up a hand. “Give me a second...I think...no, you definitely didn't have it before we moved out of the capital....”

He rubbed his hand over his mouth, eyes growing distant.

“That's weird,” he said. “It feels a little...hazy.”

He squinted at her briefly.

“You...you went near the temple walls back then, didn't you? When we were trying to get on the caravan out of the city.”

Yuzu's breath caught. He was talking about—the day that she saw the boy in the balcony, when her Blessing appeared.

“Y-yeah,” she said. “That was...five years ago.”

“Right,” her father said, and his eyes lit up. “Hang on, I think I—didn't that woman give it to you?”

“What woman?”

“She showed up after I came to grab you—I was really scared, you know, young lady. Wandering off without me—especially in the capital.”

“Sorry,” Yuzu said, wincing. “But...no, I don't remember. What woman?”

He shrugged.

“She was about my age, back then at least...I think. Hard to tell with that cloak she was wearing. I was running looking for you, and I found her standing next to you, holding your hand. She told me that you were all right. And...I think you were holding the bracelet then. She must have given it to you, right?”

Yuzu's head spun. What woman? She didn't remember this at all!

And yet...

Something sparked a bit, at the back of her mind. Something like...like a voice.

“ _Hang on to this, and stay strong,”_ a voice whispered in her memory. _“Keep smiling like you did today, and everything will be all right.”_

She put a hand to her forehead. The world felt all of a sudden hazy, and she felt a little dizzy. Her father reached for her. He grabbed her elbow to steady her.

“Yuzu? Yuzu, are you all right?”

“I—fine,” she mumbled. “Sorry, I just...I felt a little dizzy for a second there...maybe I need some water—”

A wrenching gust of wind suddenly exploded past them, almost knocking Yuzu off her feet. She heard someone yelp and a few shouts raise up—and then a loud, shrieking cry.

“ _LET GO OF ME LET GO OF ME LET GO OF ME—”_

For a moment, the panic spiked in Yuzu's chest and her father gripped her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe—

A nun appeared around the corner of the trees then, dragging a struggling Rin back down the path. Rin kept shrieking, digging her heels into the ground, wheeling her free arm, trying to actually swipe at the nun—she was releasing huge bursts of wind from her direction, which was what caused the gust.

Yuzu's heart rate slowed.

 _Rin tried to run away again_ , she thought. _But—why? We were going to try and do that together..._

“Let go! Let _GO!_ ” Rin shrieked.

“Apprentice Rin, this has gone too far,” the nun said, her voice distant but moving closer as they got nearer to Yuzu and her father. “This is—the sixteenth time, at the very least! You might find yourself removed from the Champion-Elect at this rate!”

“Good!” Rin screamed in the woman's face. “Then I can leave this goddess-forsaken place and go find Yugo!”

The woman shook her head at Rin, looking more than just frustrated. Rin kept screaming and dragging her feet as she was hauled back towards the convent. She'd be taken to see the abbess again, and then she'd probably be locked up in solitary meditation again and Yuzu would be alone in their dorm for the next few days and _no_ they'd miss out on their chance to run away together, what was Rin thinking??

“I'll be back,” Yuzu said, struggling out of her father's grip. For his part, he didn't try to cling to her, and let her go. She bolted down the path and across the grass towards the struggling Rin.

“Rin!” she shouted.

Rin's eyes flashed back towards Yuzu. Yuzu jogged to the same pace as the nun, who only gave her a cursory glance.

“Rin, what are you doing?” Yuzu said, her voice cracking. “Why did you—”

“I had—I had a nightmare after—”

Rin's eyes flashed towards the nun, and Yuzu knew she was talking about 'after we did the thing we weren't supposed to do and went out to the shrine in the middle of the night.'

“It was Yugo, he was hurt and crying and he was trying to get away—it was real, Yuzu, it felt real, Yugo's in trouble and I have to get to him!”

“Apprentice Rin, what you need to do is remember your duty as a Champion-Elect,” the nun said. “Apprentice Hiragi, if you would, please, return to your assigned location for the hour.”

“But—”

The nun gave Yuzu a look, and Yuzu came to a halt. She watched, helpless, as Rin screamed and struggled against being dragged back to the convent. Her voice echoed and clattered around in Yuzu's brain long after she disappeared into the walls of the convent.

“ _He needs me! Yugo needs me! He's a big stupid baby who can't do anything without me, he's hurt and scared and he_ needs me!”

 


	9. NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Broken Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYc3z9H8OFM)

Yuya’s skin crawled and his head buzzed. Crow kept up a steady, soft chatter, but Yuya couldn’t parse words out of the sounds. He was getting a cold sweat, and he wasn’t sure if it was because the new moon was near or if it was just because he was worried about the moon.

He hadn’t managed to sneak out of the house last night. Shinji and Crow took turns watching their door—Yuya wasn’t sure if it was because they had expected him to try and escape, or if that was normal for them. Judging by the sounds of thumping, shattering, and soft moans outside that happened throughout the night, he thought that watching their door might be a necessity for them.

Shinji had caught a glimpse of him though, peeking through the crack of the door. Yuya had scurried back, but the look Shinji gave him that morning made Yuya know that he had been noticed.

_I knew he was trouble; if we hadn’t been awake and he had tried to attack us, I would have killed him._

Yuya tried to ignore Shinji’s thoughts. He was getting all shaky, and it was hard to focus on the food that Crow had pushed on him at breakfast, hard to focus on the kids chattering and still asking him questions.

“ _We have to get out of here,”_ Yugo kept saying, his voice getting more and more desperate. “ _Yuya, please, we have to get out of here.”_

“ _Stop pestering him, you’re not helping!”_ Yuuri hissed.

“ _Yugo, please, calm down, focus, it’s going to be okay,”_ Yuto said.

They had left the house some time ago, the kids scurried off somewhere with Crow shouting at them to be back by dinner and to stay out of trouble, and then he took them through the crack and back out into the alleyways.

The moon would rise early today. Maybe by noon. It was already late morning; he had ended up falling asleep and they hadn’t woken him until later. He could feel a sort of countdown in his head, his blood starting to boil the closer the new moon approached.

He kept glancing around, trying to find a way he could slip away—Shinji kept moving himself just so, enough that Yuya had a sneaking feeling the man knew what Yuya was planning. He kept giving Yuya looks, and putting himself in between Yuya and the best escape routes. Yuya’s stomach twisted and flipped. They weren’t going to let him slip away, or listen to him. What would happen if he turned right during the middle of the resistance meeting?

 _Everyone could die,_ he thought, panicking. _I have to get away._

“Yuya? Yuya?”

Yuya snapped back out of his nervous haze, realizing that they had stopped walking and Crow was staring at him.

“Are you okay? You look pale,” Crow said.

“I’m—fine,” Yuya lied.

They stood in front of an old, peeling door. A wooden sign swung over the top of it, etched with a faint, faded image of a dragon’s foot losing all its claws. _The Declawed Dragon_ , the sign read. Yuya could smell the heavy scent of booze, burnt food, and body odor seeping under the door, and he wrinkled his nose in spite of himself. Inside, he caught a few swirling thoughts, mostly things like _I’ll break this bottle over his goddamn head_ or _I’m gonna kill someone for charging this much for shitty beer_ or _I wish I could drink myself to death._

“There’s going to be a lot of people in there,” Crow said. “So let me know if you get overwhelmed, all right? Keep your hood on and let me talk first.”

Yuya nodded his understanding. Maybe he could use a crowd to sneak away again. If only he had another smokepill.

Crow pushed the door open and stepped through. Shinji waited with his arms crossed for Yuya to follow inside, and then the door swung shut behind both of them.

Yuya’s eyes adjusted quickly to the dim light, oil lamps flickering behind their paper spheres and setting the room into a strange half-light. It wasn’t a very big bar; a little rundown. The floor was sticky under Yuya’s feet and made a gross sound when he picked his feet up. Most of the tables looked a little lopsided, and most of the bar’s patrons were all huddled around one booth and a few tables over on the right, with a few other scattered drinkers hunched over their mugs. The barkeep glanced up from behind the counter, but she didn’t greet them, and she looked away as soon as Crow and Shinji guided Yuya towards the back.

Someone stood up from the group as they approached. He was a dark-skinned man with a long face and even longer ears, dragged down by his heavy rings that poked large, sagging holes through the lobes. His dark purple hair was black near the roots, and it had been cut to look like a lizard was gripping his head.

“You guys are late,” he said, meeting Crow to grip his hand, and then Shinji.

“We were held up,” Crow said.

“Who’s this?”

The man glanced down at Yuya, and Yuya ducked his head back behind his hood.

“We’ll explain in a minute,” Crow said. “Is everyone here?”

“Everyone who wasn’t scared away,” the man said. “The others are in the back room already. They’re waiting for you.”

Crow nodded, and his face seemed to get a little paler under his scars for a moment. Was he feeling sick, too?

“Yuya, this way,” he said, putting a hand gently on Yuya’s back. Yuya could feel the group’s eyes on him as he ducked his head lower. His throat was starting to feel choked. How much time did he have left?

Crow nodded at the barkeep as he made his way past the counter to the back door. The man with the lizard hair followed right behind him, flicking a coin at her. She caught it and simply raised an eyebrow at him.

“For your trouble, as always, Hale,” he said with a wink.

She frowned at him and briefly rolled her eyes, but the coin disappeared into her pocket and she turned back to the counter. Crow opened the door and let Yuya inside.

This room was bigger than even the main bar. It was a simple space, wood floor and wood paneled walls bare of any kind of decoration. There was a low stage at the other end and a large table in the middle of the room, around which a larger group of people stood waiting. Yuya felt himself tensing up as the others from the bar filtered in behind them, and the door closed. That was the only way out. There wasn’t any windows or back doors to slip through.

He was locked inside here with all of these people and he was starting to lose control of himself.

 _It’s just a bigger version of my usual new moon prison,_ Yuya thought with a growing dread. _And there’s more people inside._

He swallowed, but he couldn’t do or say anything. He had to...he had to figure something out. Maybe with enough people here, they could restrain him...?

Crow guided Yuya off to the side, and Shinji took up a place beside Yuya as Crow turned to meet the other’s gazes.

“Well,” he said, looking around. “Good to know we didn’t lose everyone.”

There was nothing light about his tone; he sounded exhausted.

“After what happened to Jack, we’re lucky _any_ of us are left,” the man with the lizard hair said. “And what was that stunt at the Solstice the other day?”

“You mean you weren’t behind that one?” said a short, pudgy man.

“Hell no—I’m not _stupid_ , Tony,” lizard-hair man said.

“I didn’t have a chance to take stock after I...somehow ended up in charge,” Crow said, holding up his hands to stop the fighting. “So...let’s hear the bad news. How many people did we lose during that revolt?”

“Sixty-two confirmed dead,” the man called Tony said. “Another thirty-four are unaccounted for. That doesn’t count the sixty or so that we suspect just turned tail and ran after it all went south. And at least a hundred injured.”

Yuya shivered. It was...that bad...?

Tony look grim as he looked up from the papers spread over the table.

“And we just got a falcon from Rayglen. They’re pulling support.”

Whispers exploded over the room and the angry thoughts echoing in Yuya’s head spiked.

_Bastards! They’re going to leave us to die?_

_Those fucking ascetics all safe and cozy up there and refusing to help..._

“And we don’t even know where the hell they are so we can’t send a falcon back,” Crow said, swearing softly. “Any news from our allies hiding in Corkoro?”

“Nothing, but we hadn’t heard from them for a while, besides a message saying that something had gone wrong and they needed to dig deep for a while,” another woman said. “It looks like we’re on our own.”

Crow swore again, and Shinji’s angry swearing thoughts spiked.

“We’re going to have to dig in ourselves,” Tony said. “We can’t handle another hit like that.”

“Are you saying we should give up?” Shinji said.

“Hell no!” lizard-hair man said.

“No one is saying that,” Crow said. “Goddammit...”

He rubbed his temples. Yuya watched him from under his hood--he looked...really tired. He was the leader of this group? Well...Yuya supposed he had killed their original leader...his stomach twisted at the thought.

“I want to know who set off the explosion at the Solstice,” Crow said. “I’m not going to punish you for it—I just need to know. We can’t be doing shit like this. We don’t have the resources or safety to spare. The whole goddamn city is on martial law after that, no one can get in or out.”

Yuya’s heart clenched. Oh demons...he should have expected. They weren’t going to let him escape easily. He’d be locked back in the temple before the next sunrise.  And Roger would....no, no, no, don’t think about Roger.

Silence rang out over the room for a while.

“Just—someone please,” Crow said, sounding frustrated. “It’s not that I don’t understand, goddess, I’d love to blow some shit up myself, but—”

“It was Dennis,” Yuya whispered.

Crow stopped talking, and suddenly, the entire room’s eyes were on Yuya. Yuya flinched, curling up on himself. Crow turned towards him, holding out his hands soothingly.

“What did you say?” he said.

Yuya swallowed.

“The explosion...it was Dennis. Dennis did it.”

“Who the fuck is Dennis?” lizard-hair man said.

“He’s...High Priest Roger’s servant...”

A faint murmur ran through the room and Yuya tried to squeeze back his shakiness.

“How do you know that?” Tony said. “Crow, who is this kid? What is he doing here?”

Crow clenched his jaw briefly, and Yuya glanced at him, wondering if it was okay for him to take his hood off yet. For a moment, Crow just closed his eyes. Then he turned back towards the group.

“Let’s address both of these problems at the same time, then,” he said. “Damon, you said you didn’t want to give up. I don’t think we should, either. And I think we might have an edge now that we didn’t have before.”

The room rang with silence. Everyone was captive with anticipation.

“I’m sure most everyone remembers Jack’s theory,” Crow said. He made a brief motion with his hand, making a circle around his chest, and Yuya noticed the others doing it too at the sound of Jack’s name.

“That the demon is fake,” lizard-hair man said--had Crow called him Damon? “What about it?”

“Yesterday...after that explosion...I ran into someone while trying to retreat.”

Crow looked back at Yuya. He nodded.

Yuya’s throat clenched. His hands shook, but he reached up and slowly, slowly, lifted the hood off of his head.

Immediately, the entire room seemed to suck in a breath. Yuya’s mind exploded with thoughts.

_It’s him, it’s the bastard—_

_I’ll kill him, what is he doing here—_

_Fucking shit snuck in what is going on—_

_KILL ALL OF THEM._

Yuya sucked in his own breath, feeling his face go white. That wasn’t a thought he had overheard. That was coming from his own mind.

“ _Yuya,”_ Yuuri hissed. “ _It’s  coming.”_

Yuya’s pulse quickened. The moon was coming.

The room was suddenly full of voices clamoring in his head and he couldn't tell if they were actually speaking or if it was just their thoughts or both. Oh demons...he was running out of time...

“Listen—listen to me!” Crow roared at the crowd, and finally, it got a little quieter. “Yuya. Can you show them your scars?”

It took Yuya a few seconds to actually process what Crow was saying. He tugged on the collar of his robes, dizzy. Maybe if he did as they all asked quickly, they’d let him disappear before he lost it.

Another brief series of inhales rang around the room.

“Fucking...” Damon swore. “I’ve never seen that many blood runes on one person before...”

“Is he all right?” a younger man asked, looking concerned.

“Is this...Crow, is that really him?” Tony said.

Crow nodded.

“Why do you think the priests are going crazy out there? It’s not to look for someone who blew up an alcohol tent—it’s because the Emperor is missing.”

Whispers blew up around the room. Yuya’s head was spinning. The room was getting a little hazy as his vision shifted; he could see people starting to glow a little now, their heat rising off of their bodies in an aura.

_KILL THEM._

_KILL THEM ALL._

“So the explosion was...?”

“Why would the High Priest’s servant do that?”

Yuya swallowed, trying to think past the thoughts.

“He was...giving me a distraction,” he mumbled. “So I could...get away.”

“You were trying to escape?” a tall, red-haired woman said, looking surprised.

“The priests clearly kept him imprisoned,” Crow said. “It would explain why he always looked so jerky and expressionless during presentations. The blood runes were suppressing his movements.”

More whispers, more echoes in his head.

“So the demon isn’t real?” someone else said. “They’ve been lying to us?”

“That _was_ Jack’s theory,” another said. “That he was a fake to keep us in line.”

“A kid is easier to control,” someone agreed.

“Why all the runes? Couldn’t they just scare him into behaving? Seems a little over the top.”

“This could be a trap. He might be a plant.”

“The priests seem pretty distressed.”

“ _Yugo’s gone,”_ Yuto said, his voice trembling. “ _Yuya, Yugo’s already gone, and Yuuri’s going too.”_

Yuya swallowed. He tried to reach for Crow, to tug on his shirt to let him know that he needed to get out of here before everything went to hell.

“ _Yu-ya,”_ Yuuri gasped. “ _That sword.”_

Yuya’s eyes slid across the room. That woman with the short red hair near the table was carrying a very long sword on her belt. Yuya felt his throat close up, knowing what Yuuri was implying they do.

“I’m not fake,” Yuya said, his voice thin even to himself. “Please...please, Crow...the new moon is rising, it’s almost too late, please...”

Crow startled back towards him, he had been distracted by all the murmuring. He put a hand on Yuya’s shoulder.

“Yuya, no one can hurt you here,” he said. “I promised I wanted to help you, all right?”

“No, Crow, you don’t understand—”

_KILL HIM. RIP HIM APART. TEAR OUT THEIR THROATS._

“I’m a pawn to them but I’m—I’m not fake, I’m really a demon, and I’m about to lose control, you have to get me away from everyone—please, Crow, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, please, Crow, _please—_ ”

“What’s wrong with him?” Damon said. He sounded so far away. In Yuya’s mind, Yuto, Yugo, and Yuuri’s voices echoed with the other one. All three of them were gone. Yuya wasn’t far behind.

_KILL ALL OF THEM. KILL THE GODDAMNED HUMANS, RIP THEM TO SHREDS EAT THEM ALIVE KILL THEM FOR THEIR INSOLENCE—_

“Oh goddess, what’s happening to him?”

Yuya could see the gray scales, growing up from the tips of his fingers and down into his sleeves. He was sure his face was going gray, too, cracking as though he was turning into dry earth, blood red runes spilling out over his skin like tattoos.

He wasn’t going to get away from them in time. The sword was the only option.

Luckily, the woman had drawn closer to them to see what was going on. Yuya ripped himself free of Crow’s steadying hand and lunged for the sword. The woman’s eyes flashed. She did the work for him, pulling her sword free in self defense, but yelped as he grabbed for the hilt instead of her. The surprise, and his own rapidly increasing strength, was enough to snatch the weapon away. A scream rose out over the group and shouts rang as Yuya stumbled back, sword swinging wildly in his shaking hands. Crow was shouting, Shinji tried to swipe for Yuya, but Yuya pulled himself back to the wall, stumbling against it.

He turned the sword towards himself and plunged it through his own stomach, driving it into the wall behind him.

The pain screeched through him, and he shrieked.

He whited out from the pain and then he wasn’t Yuya anymore.

* * *

Crow’s head spun. The—the hell was going on?

Yuya had gone crazy. Crow thought he might be having a panic attack. Maybe the priests had done something to him at the new moon, and he was afraid that the others would do it to him too. But he started saying things like “ _I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore”_ like...he wasn’t afraid of being hurt...he was afraid of hurting _them_.

And then his skin had started to turn gray, and his robes ripped as spikes protruded out of his shoulders. His fangs had started to lengthen and his eyes glowed, talons bursting out of his fingers. It was like something out of a ghost story told around a campfire and all at once, Crow realized that Yuya had been telling the truth all along.

He _was_ a demon.

 _Demons walk when the moon sleeps_ , Crow remembered old women saying sagely to each other. Not just a proverb. Yuya turned into a demon at the new moon.

The last shock came, though, when he stole Aki’s sword, and threw himself back against the wall—and then stabbed himself in the stomach, impaling himself against the wall.

For a moment, Yuya just slumped. The room rang with a horrified, nervous silence. Crow couldn’t breathe. He was—was he dead? Oh goddess...he had killed himself rather than hurt anyone. Oh goddess—he should have _listened..._

And then Yuya’s head snapped back up.

Someone screamed and Crow swore, stumbling back.

Yuya’s face twisted into a terrifying, feral snarl. He tried to lunge forward, talons out—and got stuck on the sword hilt. He screamed, eyes widening with pain. Talons scrabbled at the sword in his gut, but he didn’t seem to have the presence of mind to grasp the hilt and yank it free of himself. He shrieked again as his hands were cut by the blade. Glowing eyes burned at the people watching, and everyone flinched almost as one. Crow felt a horrible, crawling sense in his stomach. It was what he imagined a rabbit might feel like when faced with a starved coyote. Primal fear roiled in his brain, told him to run, get away as fast as he could.

“I’ll kill you,” Yuya hissed, and his voice was thick and rough, and almost older, as though he were in his twenties instead of his early teens. “I’ll fucking kill every single one of you—release me, you bastard, coward humans, release me so I can fucking rip your throats out one at a time and dig out your hearts!”

 _Not very convincing_ , Crow thought.

“Yuya?” he tried, low and calm. “Yuya...are you in there?”

Those burning demonic eyes flashed towards him, and he felt something in him freeze. He looked _wild_ . Feral, like a trapped animal. Yuya hissed, and this time some disgusting, stringy saliva came with it, splattering over the ground. The floor hissed softly as small holes burned where the saliva had fallen—acidic. His goddamn spit was _acidic_.

Crow took a step back.

“Yuya,” he said again. “Yuya...sh, it’s okay...”

“You all need to just fucking die,” Yuya spat. “I’ll kill you, I’ll kill every single one of you, I’ll murder every fucking human for what you did, you fucking _insolent_ pieces of _shit_ , I’ll wipe you out of _existence—_ ”

How long did this last? Crow didn’t know what to do.

“Everyone, out,” he said, waving at them without looking back. “Shinji, Aki, you stay. Everyone else out.”

“Crow—”

“ _Out_ ,” he hissed.

He didn’t know how, but they listened. Slowly, the group filtered out into the bar, leaving only Shinji and Aki with him. Aki stepped up next to him, catching his gaze.

“Now what?” she said.

“All those people were making him more angry. Now we just—wait.”

“Until what?” Shinji said.

“Until...until Yuya comes back.”

“What are you talking about?”

Crow just leveled his eyes at Yuya—or whatever was wearing his face at the moment. The boy was trying to actually gnaw on the sword hilt now, trying to bend himself towards and shrieking with pain at each movement to try and get his fangs around the hilt.

“That’s not the real Yuya...it’s something else inside him,” Crow said. “He used the last of his strength to immobilize himself...that means he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”

He swallowed.

“It was the new moon that scared him. So when it sets...”

“He should revert back,” Aki said, nodding. “What am I doing here, then?”

“You and Shinji are here in case he gets out of that.”

Her face tightened, but she nodded. Shinji looked white and drawn.

Crow just clenched his fists, not taking his eyes off of the creature nailed to the wall.

Now...they just...waited...


	10. TEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [☆＊](https://youtu.be/g-o6WHfXkwM)

Yuya struggled awake. Dull pain roared through him, his arms heavy and hanging loosely. Where...where was he...?

For a second, he saw nothing. Nothing at all, except an ashy gray that shifted like slow moving sand dunes in front of his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder—who?

And then _pain._ Pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain. He screamed from the white hot fiery pain that accompanied any motion, washing out from the center of his torso in a whirlwind of torment. S-Someone was _stabbing_ him, who was it what was going on, where was he?

And for just a second, he saw nightmares dancing over his eyes. A man gripping his shoulder and shoving the blade slowly into his gut—his eyes were _bleeding_ , shot and red as his face twisted into a snarl, blond hair matted against his face and twisted into the gash across his throat.

“ _You killed me,”_ he hissed, shoving the blade harder into Yuya's gut and drawing out a scream. _“It's your fault. You killed all of them.”_

Tears rolled down Yuya's cheeks—more specters appeared, with ripped up faces, bashed in heads, torn up chests, all of them with dead, black eyes, leering at him from the shadows.

“I'm sorry!” he screamed. “I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, please, I didn't want to, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—”

“Yuya! Yuya, sh, sh, it's okay, you're okay, it's fine, nothing happened, sh, sh, sh.”

Yuya sobbed at the horrific, bleeding face of Jack Atlas looming over him, the whispers and accusations from the other specters—w-who was talking to him, who was there, had he hurt someone else??

“Yuya, sh, it's okay, look at me—that's it, look at me.”

The mirage of Jack Atlas and the other specters slowly, slowly faded. A blurred image of—of someone with spiky orange hair came into vague focus. Yuya choked on the blood bubbling up in his throat, coughing as it began to dribble out his lips. H-he remembered now. He remembered where he was. That was Crow standing there, whispering to him soothingly, holding his face and trying to get him to look at him. Yuya still could barely see, his vision fading in and out from the pain.

“Did—I—hurt anyone...?” he mumbled.

“No, no one's hurt.” Crow's voice seemed so far away. “Are you back?”

“Y-yes,” Yuya coughed. “T-the m-moon set, r-right...?”

He couldn't see for the pain, but he could feel Crow's hand light on his shoulder.

“Listen, we're going to let you down from the wall now,” he said. “Hold onto me.”

Yuya fumbled for the hand that found his, grasping it. His fingers were slick with blood and it was hard to hold on. Crow squeezed tight, though.

“Okay, Aki, go,” he said. “Shinji, try and support him from the other side.”

Yuya felt a hand wrap lightly under his other arm, pressing him gently against the wall.

He screamed as the blade _shicked_ free of him. His legs gave out and it was only Shinji and Crow holding him up that prevented him from collapsing.

“Okay, okay, you're okay, Yuya, Aki's a doctor, she's going to patch you up.”

“It's...okay...” Yuya mumbled, his tears blurring his vision. “I—heal—”

“Yuya, can you chew on this?” an unfamiliar woman's voice said. “It'll help with the pain, okay?”

Yuya felt something brushing his lips, and he obediently opened his mouth. She gently laid a leaf across his tongue.

“Go ahead and chew on that, okay? It'll help numb the pain.”

Yuya's tears spilled over his cheeks and it hurt to move. Crow and Shinji helped lower him to a sitting position, leaning him against the wall.

“Shinji, can you cut away his robes? They're getting plastered in the blood. I need to see how bad it is.”

“Can you do anything?”

“He took a sword to the gut. I'm surprised he's still alive.” She sounded uncertain, voice wavering. “I'll do what I can.”

“It's—okay,” Yuya mumbled. “I heal...I can't...die...”

“Sh, don't talk, Yuya,” Crow said, squeezing his hand. “It's going to be okay.”

Yuya felt his robes getting tugged gently away from the wound, the soft slice of a knife through fabric. Aki's cool fingers poked gently around the now cleared patch of skin.

Yuya's thoughts were starting to come back to him now. He could hear the other three stirring too, but it would be a little while before their senses returned. His mind would be quiet for a little while.

“Pass me the bucket, Shinji,” Aki said. “Thank you.”

Yuya heard water being squeezed out and dribbling onto a water surface. He hissed as a cool rag touched his skin, dabbing away at the blood. He squeezed Crow's hand with every flinch of pain, and Crow kept murmuring soothing sounds.

Aki paused then, in the middle of cleaning the wound.

“Goddess,” she swore softly.

“What? What's wrong?”

Yuya's vision was starting to clear and he could see her now—she was a tall woman, probably about the height of Shinji but it was hard to tell when she was kneeling in front of him. She was the red-headed woman he had stolen the sword from, he realized. She pointed down at Yuya's torso, and Shinji and Crow followed her finger.

He could feel his skin knitting itself back together—that was probably what they were staring at. His heart blasted in his chest, trying desperately to replace all of the blood he had lost at a rate of production far beyond a normal human.

“See...?” Yuya said weakly. “I told you...I can't...die...”

Shinji swore in a language that Yuya had never heard, and then Yuya let his head fall back against the wall, eyes closing. He wanted to pass out, but his body wouldn't let him.

“Do you need anything?” Crow said, sounding almost like a worried father. “Is there anything we can do to help you heal faster?”

Yuya swallowed, and realized that he was incredibly thirsty.

“I...I could use...some water....”

He heard someone stand up and clump across the floor. A few moments later, he felt the lip of a glass being gently pushed under his lips, and he drank gratefully, the water spreading coolness through him. He gasped for air after he finished, just trying to breathe.

“I...I'm okay now,” he said hoarsely, opening his eyes again to finally see the three surrounding him clearly. “T-thank you...”

He swallowed.

“I...I didn't hurt anyone, right?” he said.

“No,” Crow said, squeezing his hand. “No, you didn't. You...you were stuck on that sword for the whole episode.”

Yuya breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness,” he said.

Crow squeezed his hand again, looking pained.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I'm sorry, I should have listened to you....I shouldn't have made you have to do that to yourself.”

Yuya shook his head.

“It's...it's fine...see...? I'm all patched up.”

He tried to smile and lifted his other hand to pump a fist weakly. He still felt dizzy from all the blood he had lost, but he would be all right in a few hours.

“Does this happen every new moon?” Shinji asked.

Yuya nodded. Shinji looked him over briefly, then his eyes rose back up to Yuya's.

“Do you remember any of it?”

“No,” Yuya said, his voice a thin whisper. “I...I never do...I just—see the bodies afterward...”

He swallowed, choking on the bile that rose up in his throat. Crow put a hand on his shoulder.

“You don't have to talk about it,” he said.

“N-no, I should...you d-deserve to know,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “I've killed so many people, Crow...”

“It's not you,” Crow said. “It's—it's something else. It's—some kind of possession. And if it only happens on the new moon, we'll be able to help you contain it, right?”

“It's going to start happening more often,” Yuya said. He felt so trembly. Crow's hand holding onto his was the only thing he could focus on. “Yesterday was the Solstice...I have...six months...until the next eclipse...”

Shinji and Aki exchanged a glance.

“The first one happened...five years ago, right?” Shinji said. “What do the priests mean when they say that was the First Awakening?”

“They mentioned the eclipse in six months being the Final Awakening, too,” Crow said, looking concerned as he glanced down at Yuya.

Yuya swallowed. He had to explain to them...everything. Now that he had their attention, he needed to impress on them how important it was that he found the goddess' champion, and how important it was that he died before the eclipse. He struggled to sit upright, Crow put a hand behind his back to help him sit up a little bit better against the wall. Yuya's sense of balance was starting to come back, and the dizziness was beginning to fade.

“The First Awakening...that was when the four pieces of the demon soul finally became one,” he said. “That was five years ago.”

“Four pieces?” Aki said.

Yuya nodded. He glanced down at the floor, his free hand curling into his ripped up robes.

“Do you...know the story of the demon?” he said. “I mean...the myth. The one that I'm supposed to be a reincarnation of.”

“Everyone knows that story,” Aki said. “It's required propaganda. The demon tried to destroy everything bad in the world to make a paradise. The humans and the goddess feared change, so the goddess struck him down and delayed his revival.”

Yuya hunched his shoulders a little.

“Well...I don't know how much of it is true,” he said. “But...there was a demon. And it, or he, or something....was destroyed, thousands of years ago. But you can't destroy something that's immortal...not completely.”

He licked his lips. They were dry again, and he'd really like some more water.

“The priests said that the demon's soul was split into four pieces,” he said. “One for each direction on a compass, and sent to opposite ends of the world, where they were hidden inside of human souls.”

Crow clenched his jaw.

“And then what?” he said. “You're one of four pieces?”

Yuya shook his head.

“I...I used to be...” he said. “There were...three others.”

The other three were finally stirring back to alertness in his mind, and he felt Yuuri tense up.

“ _Are you really going to tell them this?”_ Yuuri said.

“ _They deserve to know,”_ Yuya said.

Yuuri grumbled, but he said nothing else.

“They never had more than one or two pieces at a time. And...one fourth, or one half of a demon isn't very useful. It doesn't give the human really any special powers; their own soul suppresses that piece.”

“So...they went looking for the other pieces,” Shinji said.

Yuya nodded.

“I wasn't born in the temple,” he said. “I was born in a tiny town in another country. The...the priests came for me when I was nine. My...my parents didn't want to give me up...”

He closed his eyes against the tears, and he heard Crow swear softly. He wrapped his arms around Yuya's shoulders, pulling him against him gently.

“But...but there's always been a demon emperor,” Aki said, sounding uncertain. “I remember...I was young, but I was there on the day the new Demon Prince was born and they presented him. I saw him over the course of presentations...he looked like you.”

Yuya nodded, still not opening his eyes.

“That was Yuuri,” he said. “He was one of the four, too...and the priests found out that they could figure out the other three by finding kids that were born at the same day and time as he was.”

For a moment, no one spoke.

“...what happened to Yuuri, if you're the Demon Emperor now?” Shinji said.

Yuya shuddered deeply.

“ _It's not your fault, Yuya,”_ Yuto soothed. _“Yuya...it's okay.”_

Yuya swallowed, but then he opened his eyes to meet Shinji's smiling wryly through his tears.

“The First Awakening was when we became one,” he said. “And the Final Awakening will be when that thing you saw today completely overtakes all four of us. And there's no coming back from it.”

For a moment, no one spoke.

Then Shinji swore again, in a few more languages that Yuya had never heard.

“And the priests are doing this shit on purpose?” he said. “What—what are they trying to accomplish?”

Yuya shrugged.

“I think...they're hoping to use me as a weapon,” he said. “They already use my blood to make the demon weapons...”

Crow swore too.

“Your runes,” he said, looking white. “They...they're planning on using them to control you when you turn into that, aren't they? To turn you loose on battlefields.”

Yuya nodded, looking down.

“I'm a lot faster and stronger than a human in that form...and it takes a lot to restrain me. I think...I think the sword just surprised me, and I couldn't think clearly enough in that mode to free myself. But...I can't die, either...no matter how many strikes I take...I'd....I'd kill a lot of people....”

He rubbed at his eyes, trying not to cry.

“They've been running experiments every new moon, to see what works to control me...I don't know what happens because I don't remember anything afterward, but they always seem frustrated when I wake up, so I don't think they're close. There's no way to control me when I'm in that stage.”

He tightened his hand on Crow.

“That's why...I have to make sure I die before that happens.”

For a long, long time, no one spoke. Then Crow tightened his grip around Yuya, hugging him almost too tightly that it hurt.

“Bastards,” he swore. “Fucking bastards...doing this to a fucking kid...”

He was...was he almost crying? Yuya tried to tug at him, and Crow released him immediately. He covered his eyes with the back of his hand for a moment.

“I'll help you,” he whispered, finally.

“Huh...?” Yuya said.

“I'll help you,” Crow said again. “I'll help you find the goddess's champion.”

“Crow,” Shinji said. “What are you talking about?”

“You heard him,” Crow said, letting his arm fall away. “In six months, he won't even be himself, and we could all get hurt. No one deserves that. So—I'll help. I'll help you find your way.”

“We don't even know where to start looking,” Aki said.

“Rayglen,” said Crow. “There's rumors they've been training champions, isn't there?”

“Yes, but that doesn't mean they have anything,” Aki said. “Not to mention, no one knows where they are! Their location is one of the most closely guarded secrets in the universe.”

“There's rumors the Corkoro know where Rayglen is,” Shinji said thoughtfully, but then he startled back to himself. “No—Crow, it's out of the question, you can't go. You have to be here for the rebellion.”

“And do what? Wave my hands around and pretend like I know what the fuck I'm doing? I'm not a leader, Shinji,” Crow said, and he actually sounded desperate. “And we've all known that from the beginning.”

Shinji opened his mouth again but Crow kept talking.

“We want to fight against Zarkania, right? Then what better way to do that than to help the Emperor himself go against what they want? At the very least, I'm taking their greatest weapon away from them.”

He looked down at Yuya, and his face was pale and strained.

“The demon weapons,” he said. “How...how do they work?”

Yuya knew what Crow was thinking.

“They need to be infused with my blood on a regular basis,” he said. “Or they lose power. Swords and weapons lose power fastest, they need to be infused every few weeks. Bracers hold power longer, maybe a month or two.”

“So if you're gone, their weapons start to lose strength, right?” Crow said.

Yuya nodded. Crow looked back at Shinji and Aki then, face hard.

“That settles it,” he said. “If Yuya gets out of the capital, we're taking all of the priests' cards away from them. At most, they have a few people with Blessings—so do we. It evens the playing field.”

“Even so, you shouldn't be the one to take him,” Shinji said, standing up so that he loomed over Crow. “Jack chose you to take over!”

“Jack didn't think he was going to end up dead!” Crow said, shooting up to try and match Shinji's height. He was a good head shorter than him, though, so it lost some of its effect. “Listen, Shinji—I don't—I don't want to go either.”

His voice cracked, and Shinji's face fell.

“I don't want to leave you and the kids. I don't want to leave anyone else here. But...but I don't trust anyone else to take him all the way to Corkoro. I'm sorry, Shinji, but I don't. It has to be me.”

Aki rose up quietly then, catching both of their attentions. She glanced down at Yuya.

“Don't you think you should be asking him what he thinks?” she said softly. “It seems to me he's spent a lot of his life having things decided for him.”

Yuya's heart jumped as suddenly, all three of them were looking at him. He hunched over, trying not to meet anyone's gazes.

“...right...” Crow said softly. His foot twisted softly against the floor. “Yuya...what do you want to do?”

If Yuya had a choice...he wanted Crow to come with him. He knew he couldn't get out of the city himself, and he had no idea where to go after that. Crow had knowledge, skills, and he seemed to care about Yuya, somehow. He made Yuya feel...safe. Like Crow was going to take care of him...it was like having a dad around again. But...was it okay for him to take Crow away from everyone here...?

He ducked his head.

“ _What do you guys think?”_ he said quietly.

“ _I don't like him,”_ Yuuri said immediately.

“ _You don't like anyone,”_ said Yuto. _“I think it's a good idea, Yuya. We don't know much of anything about the world outside the walls.”_

“ _Yeah, I think he's nice,”_ Yugo said. _“And he actually like, gives a shit about us.”_

Yuya swallowed, and glanced back up at everyone looking at him.

“If...if it's really okay...I know I can't make it there alone...”

Crow nodded sharply, and then looked at the other two.

“It's settled. Yuya and I are leaving at dawn.”

“Crow,” Shinji said, sounding a little desperate. He stepped forward and grabbed Crow's hand. “Please.”

Crow's face softened then, and he put his hand on top of Shinji's.

“I'll...I'll just escort him as far as Corkoro,” he said. “We'll find somewhere there that I can trust among our allies there, and they can help him the rest of the way. We should probably be sending face to face contact with them anyway and take stock of what happened both here and there. I'll be back before you know it.”

“Can you promise that?” Shinji said.

Crow half smiled.

“Can we promise anything in this goddamn war we've gotten ourselves into?”

Shinji bit hard on his lip. Then he let out a tiny, angry growl, closing his eyes. He leaned in to kiss Crow briefly and roughly on the lips.

“Just come back,” he said, leaning back. “I don't care when...just come back.”

Crow nodded. Then he released Shinji's hand and stepped back.

“Aki, Shinji. I'm putting you both in charge of things here. Take care of everyone. Don't make any sudden moves for at least a week or two, and then move slowly—make _sure_ that the weapons are really losing power before you take any wild strikes.”

Shinji and Aki both nodded. Crow turned to Yuya then, and reached his hand down.

“Well, Yuya,” he said. “We should make sure we're both ready to get the hell out of here.”

Yuya hesitated for just a breath. And then he reached for Crow, and he gripped his strong hand back, letting himself be helped to his feet. He felt tears bubbling in his eyes. He was going to do it. He was going to escape the capital, and he was going to find the goddess.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

 


	11. ELEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Faltering Prayer - Dawn Breeze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52O7YWYGIEU)

_ Crack! Crack! Crack-crack-crack! _

One, two, one-two-three. The rhythm of the kata rung through Yuzu's muscles as she moved back, forward, forward, back, the wooden sword swinging back and forth to meet Masumi's. Up block, down block, side block, dodge. Down strike, up strike, side strike, lunge. Her wooden sword connected with Masumi's over and over, like some kind of deadly dance

“Stance,” Masumi grunted, and Yuzu let her consciousness slide up to the top of her brain long enough for her to realize that her feet were out of position. She slid back into the right stance and went back to the perfect rhythm. The sound of clacking wood rang out all around them from the other pairs practicing the same rhythms. Monks and nuns walked between them, mostly around the younger students, altering grips and nudging feet back into the right stances.

“Grip,” Yuzu said, noting that Masumi's hands were creeping a little too high on the sword again. She altered accordingly and returned to the striking and parrying.

“You're getting faster,” Masumi said.

“We practice this every day,” Yuzu said. “It's easy to memorize.”

“But ultimately useless, right?”

Yuzu just nodded. Masumi's eyes didn't meet hers, and she didn't try to match gazes. They were both too focused on their swords. Yuzu stepped back in her dodge part of the form, and then swung her sword down from over her head to start her turn striking.

It  _ was  _ pretty useless, she thought. They had practiced this form every day for as long as she had been here—almost five years. It was too rigid, too formulaic. It would be absolutely useless on a battlefield where your opponent wouldn't be playing nice and following the prescribed stances. They weren't allowed to do free form sparring until they were fifteen.

Masumi's eyes flickered briefly, and then she pressed forward a bit more than she was supposed to.

“Want to go practice somewhere else?” she said. “If we're leaving soon, we should keep ourselves sharp for the road, yeah?”

Yuzu hesitated, meeting Masumi's closer blade with a bit of a fumble, but she managed to parry correctly. She and Masumi were the oldest students in this block, so they sometimes tried to slip off towards the woods to practice on their own. The nuns mostly forgot they were supposed to be there, at least sometimes.

But today...

Yuzu's mind flickered to the shape in the woods they had seen the night before. She still wasn't...sure what that had been. None of the monks or nuns had said anything to any of them the morning after, so no one had told on them. In that case, who had been watching them?

“Yuzu? Is something wrong?”

Yuzu came back to herself, shaking her head softly.

“Oh...sorry,” she said.

She glanced at the students behind them, almost fumbling a block. Perfect lines of children in beige and gray tunics with brown belts, all with the same prescribed ponytail for practice time. Doing the same thing, over and over and over and  _ over _ again—

She felt like she was  _ choking _ .

“Okay,” she said, in a rush of frustration. “Let's go.”

Masumi grinned with a flash of teeth. They did a few more blocks and parries, scootching themselves closer to the edge of the trees with each repetition. As soon as they were close enough, Masumi ducked into the foliage. Yuzu only hesitated a second before following.

In the daytime, the forest wasn't quite as scary. Masumi led the way into the sun dappled trees, ducking under foliage and holding branches back to let Yuzu through. Yuzu's stomach twisted a tiny bit as she realized that Masumi was taking them the long way around towards the shrine. That was where they would normally sneak off to—after all, the nuns couldn't really get mad at them if they insisted that they had been called there by the goddess to meditate, and that got them out of getting into trouble a lot—but she still remembered the shadow from the night before, and she was feeling a little nervous.

“Fucked up that Rin got herself locked up again,” Masumi said as she ducked under another branch. “Dammit...and Hokuto was saying we'd probably be able to get going in a few days. Now we have to wait for her.”

She growled softly, and Yuzu grimaced.

“She's such a hardhead,” Masumi said.

“She just really wants to find Yugo,” Yuzu said. “He's really important to her.”

“You think I don't get that?”

It came out a little like a snap, and Masumi hesitated.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you.”

Yuzu shook her head. Masumi offered her hand to help Yuzu up a bolder, and she took it to clamber up after her.

“It's fine...it's really hard, not hearing from your dad much, right...?”

Masumi shrugged. They didn't say anything else as they slid down the bolder and made their way towards the shrine.

Masumi held the branches back for Yuzu to pass through. She stepped out into the circle, hearing the water trickle through the grooves in the stone. Everything sparkled like gems in the sunlight; the flowers sprouted between rocks and around the shrine seemed to glow.

“So...you're really sure about this, huh?” she said. “Leaving, I mean.”

“Of course,” Masumi said. She hefted her belt up a bit; the sword shoved into it was making it sag. “I think it's our duty as Champion-Elect—we can't just hide out here. We have to help the people, don't we?”

Yuzu nodded. That was right...she had asked to be trained because she wanted to help people...like that boy that she just wanted to make smile that day...

“I'm actually a little surprised that you want to wait for Rin,” Yuzu said.

She tugged her own sword free from her belt where she had stowed it, twisting it between her fingers. She heard Masumi's feet slide across the grass and whipped around just in time to catch the blow. Masumi always tried to catch her off guard.

They fell into a much different, more variable rhythm of attacks and parries. Masumi was really trying to hit her, as hard as she could—if these were real swords, Yuzu would have been glancing at death with some of Masumi's quick strikes. She matched them, though, forcing Masumi to dance a few steps back before spinning back for another blow.

“Of course,” Masumi said, between huffs of breath. “We need all the extra hands we can get—and Rin's wind powers are more than useful.”

Yuzu laughed.

“You think like a soldier,” she said. “The nuns will scold you.”

Masumi grumbled, and Yuzu dodged the stab for her stomach, dancing around Masumi's attack.

“It's stupid, the way they think,” she said. She swung for Yuzu's head and Yuzu ducked, Masumi blocked Yuzu's leg strike and then pressed her advantage. “They don't teach us strategy or how war works—they just make us do practice sequences, teach us basic school subjects and make us meditate.”

She changed her voice to sound like a very poor, whiny impression of Mother Himika.

“'The Champion simply must appear when they are needed; leave the warmaking to the common folk. We'll tell you where you need to stand, it's fine.'”

Yuzu giggled—it sounded so bad, but she could tell it was Himika so easily. She twisted around Masumi's next attack—Masumi was getting faster, she was catching on to Yuzu's attack pattern. Yuzu made a bit of a whisper towards the flowers on the ground, asking them to grow a little faster than normal. Masumi swore when she tripped over them, and flashed a grin at Yuzu.

“Playing dirty already? All right then,” she said.

She shifted her sword to one hand and dove her other hand into the bag at her waist, flicking a small diamond into the air. The clear stone froze in mid air, and then began to spin, catching the light and refracting it in all directions. Yuzu swore softly as the light briefly blinded her—the stone followed her every movement in an attempt to keep disrupting her vision. It was luck that made her able to draw her sword up to match the next attack.

The flowers under her feet blossomed as she stumbled back—she encouraged them to grow thicker under Masumi's stance, make it harder for her to stand. Masumi swore as she stumbled, and Yuzu glared through the light of the diamond enough to lunge forward. She caught Masumi off balance, the swords clacked together and she slid down it with her own blade until hers came to a shuddering stop just under Masumi's chin.

They hung there for just a second. And then their centers of gravity remembered exactly where they were in space, and they squeaked as they both tumbled to the ground.

Yuzu's head rung for a moment. It was Masumi's laugh that brought her back to herself, and she grinned, rolling off of Masumi and onto the ground, pushing herself into a sitting position as she began to giggle too.

Masumi just laid there, laughing, her arms sprawled out on either side of her.

“I lost again,” she said. “Uuugh!!”

She flopped a hand over her eyes, still laughing despite her words.

“It was close, though,” Yuzu said. “And even if I had won, that took too long—plus, I lost my balance at the end. You're not likely to be fighting only one person, that would have left me way open to attack afterward.”

“You've been spending too much time listening to me.”

“Well, it's not every day that you get the advice from an actual soldier's daughter,” Yuzu tease.

Masumi grinned, arm still drooped over her eyes. Yuzu smiled too, feeling her chest tight with exertion. It was a good feeling, though, her muscles twitching from the exercise and her body ringing from the memory of the swords impacting with each blow.

A breeze rustled through the trees, making Yuzu's ponytail wave slightly, although a lot of it was stuck to the back of her neck from the sweat. The air probably felt pleasant, but she was so sweaty that it felt cold, and she shivered.

She stared aimlessly off into the woods.

“Masumi?” she said. “Do you think we're ready for whatever's outside the barrier?”

“No.”

It was so abrupt, so blunt, that Yuzu hesitated. She glanced down at Masumi. The other girl had moved her hand off of her eyes and onto her forehead, so that she stared up into the sky ringed by trees.

“What?” she said. “But you're—you're the one who said we need to go. That we've been training for most of our lives, and...”

“That doesn't mean we're ready,” she said. “We don't know anything about the world out there. We haven't been taught. We've had to teach  _ ourselves  _ a lot of this fighting stuff.”

She gestured vaguely at the shrine, for what purpose, Yuzu wasn't sure.

“And you still want to leave?” Yuzu said.

Masumi nodded. For a moment, there was no sound except for the leaves rustling in the woods. Then Masumi sat up, letting her arm drape over one knee.

“The first day you came here,” she said. “I was still the top student. Only Ruri ever put up a good fight, and she was too nice to really push her advantage when we snuck off to practice by ourselves.”

Her eyes slid over to Yuzu.

“I never lost our sparring matches until you showed up, and you handed me my ass on almost your first try,” she said. “That was what did it—that was what knocked some sense into me.”

Yuzu's hands tightened in her lap, just listening. The sunlight sparkled down across Masumi's black hair, and she pushed one hand through it, freeing it from its ponytail to flare out around her shoulders again.

“That was when I realized that no matter how good I thought I was, there was always someone better,” she said. “I can't underestimate the people outside the barrier—none of us can.”

She turned to look Yuzu in the eyes. She looked so...determined. Masumi always had that sort of expression.

“That's why we have to wait for Rin,” she said. “The more of us there are, the better chance we stand. I'm not going to make stupid mistakes anymore by thinking no one's better than me. Everyone's better than me—thinking like that will keep us alive.”

Yuzu felt briefly cold.

“Do you...really think it's that dangerous?”

She had never really thought about it. She remembered how nervous her father always seemed when she was a child and they lived in the capital. He had always held her so tightly when they went out, or made sure she stayed in the house. But she didn't remember it all that well, didn’t remember seeing anything. She just remembered the sense of fear.

“I think it's more dangerous than even I think it is,” Masumi said.

She glanced at Yuzu, and then she seemed to startle out of some kind of daze.

“I'm sorry,” she fumbled. “I didn't mean to—get all dark on you like that.”

She hugged her knees to her chest.

“You don't...you don't have to come with us,” she said suddenly. “You've got your dad here...I—I won't be upset if you decide you need to stay.”

Stay behind. Let Masumi, Ruri, Rin, Selena, Hokuto, Yaiba, all of them leave without her. Yuzu looked down at the ground, tightening her hands into the grass. They were...they were her world. And they could leave without her.

She thought of her father, then. His goofy, distracted smile. He was always bustling around and getting himself worked up—sometimes he forgot to eat and sleep because he was so passionate and excited about what he was doing. If she left...how long would it take for him to notice that she wasn't coming to bring him coffee or drag him to meal times?

Would he be scared...? Would he come after her?

She hadn't even thought of it. She tore grass up in her hands, not looking at Masumi.

“Sorry,” she said. “I don't...think I've thought about this as much as you have yet.”

Masumi looked down at her knees.

“I know,” she whispered.

She licked her lips. A bell rang out softly from the distance, and Masumi shot to her feet.

“Lunch,” she said, hurriedly. “I—listen. You don't have to decide now. You don't have to decide any time soon—Rin should be locked up for at least a week, we won't leave until after she's out and we've talked. And if you—if you decide to stay, it's okay. I won't hold it against you. I—”

Masumi ran her hand through her hair again.

“I'll see you at lunch,” she said, and she turned and darted back into the trees.

“Masumi—” Yuzu started, but Masumi was already gone.

Yuzu just sat there for a long time, tearing up grass in her hands. The flowers bobbed and whispered in the wind, and her hair danced with it. She reached up to let it loose from her ponytail and pulled it away from her neck. The sweat was starting to evaporate, and she just felt...cold.

She didn't want to stay here, where nothing ever changed, and no one ever seemed to care. Where time was frozen and she had no idea how she could earn the right to become the goddess's champion.

She didn't want to leave, and make her father stay up late nights worrying and wondering.

So...

_ Goddess, _ she thought.   _ What should I do? _

“What do you want to do?”

Yuzu gasped, surging to her feet and gripping her sword at the voice.

There was someone standing in the woods, watching her—her heart jumped and she swung her sword out in front of her, taking a stance. They were tall, and cloaked—barely more than a lumped shadow. She could see the curve of a chin and tan skin, but nothing else under the hood.

The figure raised their hands.

“Sorry,” they said, with a faint, feminine voice. “Didn't mean to scare you.”

Yuzu's heart still thumped in her chest.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” Yuzu said. “W-were you listening to us?”

“Hm? Us?”

The woman seemed confused, tilting her head. Yuzu's heart started to calm, and she blinked a few times, trying to get her bearings back. The woman raised just her left hand then, and a thick silver bracer glinted in the light, clamped tightly around her white sleeve. A pilgrim bracelet. She must have gotten it from the nuns—they were rare, but sometimes pilgrims found their way here to pay tribute to the goddess.

Yuzu let her sword droop. She had gotten so  _ scared _ ...

“I really didn't mean to frighten you,” the woman said. “I'll stay over here. Don't worry.”

Yuzu swallowed, trying to get her head to stop spinning.

“I....what did you mean, when you asked...'what do you want to do'...?” she said. “If you weren't listening to me talk to my friend...”

“That?”

The woman thought for a moment.

“It seemed like the question to ask.”

Yuzu's lips parted, and her brow furrowed.

“What does that mean?”

The woman shrugged.

“Sometimes I see people, and I know what question they want to be asked.”

That sounded incredibly specific...specific enough to be a Blessing. Yuzu opened her mouth, thinking she would ask.

“That's a beautiful bracelet,” the woman said. “Do you take good care of it?”

Yuzu's question was startled out of her mouth, and she glanced down at her bracelet in the shock.

“I mean—yes?” she said.

She looked back up.

The woman wasn't standing there anymore.

Yuzu's heart leaped up into her throat. She spun—sword outstretched, ready to take on anything that came at her—

But nothing happened.

The shrine was quiet, except for the faint trickle of water, and finally, Yuzu let her sword fall back to her side, her skin trembling ever so slightly.

“Did I imagine it?” she whispered.

The wind whistled past her ears, and for a moment, she thought she heard a voice come with it.

“ _ You might want to stay here. For a bit, at least. Things might start changing here faster than you know.” _

 


	12. TWELVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Mankai](https://youtu.be/PZgsfPPGKDE)

The first hurdle was getting out of the city.

Yuya waited in the back room of the bar with Aki while Shinji and Crow left to gather supplies and make plans. It felt horribly chafing to be locked up in the back room even though logically he knew he wasn’t a prisoner, and Aki refused to let him pace. Whether he had healed himself or not, he was still her patient, and she was determined to make sure he was in good health.

“You're suffering from pretty severe malnutrition,” she said, looking irritated as she prodded his wrists gently. “Did they not even feed you?”

“I got a meal every day,” he said. “I started passing out a lot when they didn't feed me at all, and I produced less blood, so they—”

Aki looked like she was going to throttle something, and her thoughts rang through his head— _ bastards, I'll kill them for doing this to a child— _ so Yuya decided to stop talking. He didn’t want to upset her.

She rustled through her back briefly, and pulled out a few pouches, transferring some of the contents into another pouch.

“Crow and Shinji won't think about medicine, so here,” she said, pressing the pouch into his hand. “Take a pinch of this with everything you eat. It should help make up for the lack of vitamins.”

Yuya nodded dutifully and tied the pouch to his belt.

Besides fussing over him, Aki wasn't much of a talker, so the minutes turned to hours before Crow and Shinji finally returned.

Crow dumped his bag onto the table with a groan.

“Heavy,” he complained.

“You need to be prepared,” Shinji said. He still looked angry, and Yuya avoided his gaze. “On foot, the journey to Corkoro is a week at the fastest.”

His eyes glanced over Yuya briefly and Yuya looked down. Aki stood up.

“And you won't be moving your fastest, not with Yuya,” Aki said. “I don't care if he heals from anything, Crow, you make sure that he stays  _ healthy _ .”

She shoved a little roll of paper at him, with all the notes about the medicines that Yuya should be taking.

“He's got the pouch on him, but there are drawings in there for the plants you'll find on the road that will help, too,” Aki said. “And you absolutely  _ cannot _ overwork him.”

“Okay, okay,” Crow said, holding up his hands in surrender. “Geez. You'd think you didn't trust me or something.”

Aki rolled her eyes as Crow finally took the roll of paper and shoved it into the pocket of his vest. Crow's eyes moved to Yuya, then.

“You ready?” he said.

Yuya scrambled to his feet.

“Yes,” he said, feeling breathless.

“ _ We're finally leaving,” _ Yugo sighed.

Yuuri huffed—he had been trying to convince the other three that they should ditch Crow as soon as he had helped them escape the walls of the city, but to no avail. Yuya knew as well as any of them that they were traveling blind, here. Crow was the only one that was willing to go with them, and that knew anything at all about where to go from here.

Crow flashed Yuya a smile.

“Here,” he said, passing Yuya a pile of fabric. “This will attract less attention than your robes—besides, yours are all torn up now.”

Oh, clothes. Yuya nodded. He scurried off to the corner to change, leaving his robes and jewelry in a pile. The clothes Crow had gotten for him were a little scratchy, but they were baggier and easier to move in; a tunic that tied off at the waist and a pair of leggings that fit into the worn boots that were half a size too big. He replaced the medicine pouch on his new belt and swung the cloak over his shoulders, tying it off. Then he gathered up his old robes and jewelry, feeling sort of light without all of it.

“Um,” he said as he walked back, causing the other three to glance up from whatever map they were looking at. “I...here.”

He dumped his old jewelry onto the table.

“T-this will probably cover everything you had to spend on the supplies...um...just pry the red jewels out, shouldn't be too hard with a knife—they're blood jewels, so only I'm supposed to have them, but uh...if you get rid of them, the jewelry should still sell for something.”

Crow just half smiled at him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It's okay, Yuya,” he said. “You don't have to pay us back.”

Yuya ducked his head.

“Okay, but...you should take them anyway...I don't know what to do with them...”

Crow hesitated, but then Aki nodded.

“I'll take care of it,” she said. “Don't worry.”

She swept the jewelry off into one of her pouches, and then took the ruined robes from Yuya's arms. Yuya felt...something like a cold breath slipping down his throat, and it was the most refreshing thing he had felt in ages. He wasn't in his robes, or his jewelry, and he felt...different. Like he was a whole different person.

“Okay, Yuya,” Crow said, beckoning him towards the map. “This is what's going to happen, okay?”

Yuya jumped—Crow was going to explain it? He had kind of just assumed he would just tag along and do as he was told. But Crow gestured him closer, and Yuya moved over tentatively.

The map sprawled out on the table before him, and Yuya felt his breath catch in his throat. Oh...this was what the world looked like. It was so much bigger than he had even imagined. He hadn't been outside the temple in five years, and he barely remembered what he had known then.

“We're here,” Crow said, pointing to a small dot in about the center of the map, labeled “Eclipsine”. “And we need to go here.”

He moved his finger up north, to a mass of ink that looked like trees, labeled with careful letters that read “Corkoro”.

“That's where the goddess's champion is?” Yuya said.

“It's where our resistance allies are,” Crow said. “And it's also where the Corkoro people live. There's rumors that they know where Rayglen is, which is supposed to be the last sanctuary of the goddess after Shizenrei fell.”

Yuya nodded. If the goddess's champion was anywhere, then that sounded like the place to be. She'd probably be in hiding, until she had gotten strong enough to challenge Zarkania. Well, Yuya would make sure to make things easier for her by coming to her.

Yuya traced his finger across the map.

“It looks far,” he said.

Crow nodded.

“It's going to be a long trek, so prepare yourself, okay? We'll have to move quickly and quietly, we don't want to attract any attention.”

“ _ You know, we've seen this map now, we could totally ditch him as soon as he gets us out,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Shut up, Yuuri,” _ Yuto said.

Yuya lifted his hands from the map and looked up at Crow.

“So...how do we leave?” he said.

Crow winced almost imperceptibly.

“That's going to be the hard part.”

He lifted another map up from underneath the other one. This one was a map of Eclipsine. Yuya recognized the shape of the temple in the middle, taking up almost half the city. Crow pointed to a mess of lines a little to the left and above the temple.

“We're here, in the slums,” he said. “There are four main gates at each end of the city.”

Yuya nodded, noting each one. The city was made in a sort of oblong circle, he could see now. He had never even known what the city looked like.

“Currently, the city is under martial law, so no one is allowed to leave or enter except with special permissions,” he said. “And we've tested most of the wall; there's not a crack in it and the sewer system is grated and guarded too, so we can't go underneath. Climbing the wall is impossible, too—besides the fact that there's no handholds, there are guards all over the top.”

Yuya's heart sank. If he hadn't run into Crow...he would have been snatched back up in a matter of moments. He had no idea how he would have gotten out...

“So...how do we leave?” he said, his voice tight.

Crow grinned, then, and it seemed at odds with the situation.

“Luckily,” he said, pulling free a few slips of paper. “I have on me some special permissions.”

Yuya's eyes widened.

“But...how did you get those?”

“They're fake,” Shinji said. “We know people who can forge these.”

“Zarkania's still an empire, not just a religion,” Aki said. “Profit is king—so high ranking merchants are able to get in and out of the city fairly easily, even with martial law.”

“These permissions will make you and me look like a high-ranking merchant and his apprentice,” Crow said. “We'll be waved right through.”

“They'll recognize me,” Yuya said, his voice tight. “And...and they'll see your runes...”

Crow shook his head.

“We're going to disguise ourselves,” he said. “Makeup can do some pretty incredible things.”

Yuya swallowed, his hands tightening. Was...was this going to work? Could he possibly get out of the city like this? It almost seemed too good to be true, too easy. He was...he was scared.

But...

_ We could escape, _ he thought.  _ We could really, actually escape. _

His heart panged with longing. That world outside the wall of the city...what was it like?

He looked back up at the three of them. His hands tightened.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Let's do it.”

* * *

Yuya drew his cloak lower over his face. Shinji and Crow had covered his face with some kind of makeup, to make him look like his face was twisted with some kind of acid scar. He still felt vulnerable, clinging to the edge of Crow's cloak as they made their way through the crowd.

There were people  _ everywhere.  _ Jostling, shouting, shrieking. People who wanted to know why they weren't allowed to leave, who wanted answers about what had happened at the festival, who were scared and confused and angry. All around Yuya, thoughts clamored in his head—angry and scared and hateful thoughts. Mostly towards the guards and priests who were keeping them away from the gate, but some towards each other for jostling them and blocking their way, some towards themselves—it was all too much and he felt like he was choking.

Crow's hand snaked back and rested behind Yuya's back, pulling him gently closer to him.

“Breathe slowly,” he whispered. “In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

Yuya tried to do as he was asked, focusing on his breath and on the feeling of Crow's hand against his back.

Yugo chattered at the back of his head about absolutely nothing, and Yuya knew that he was just trying to block out the sound of everyone's thoughts everywhere. He babbled lists of everything he saw, the dirty birds that huddled on the roofs of buildings, the unhemmed edges of ripped clothing, the occasional flash of something more expensive as nobles pushed through the crowd on palanquins.

It took what felt like hours, but they made it to the front of the crowd. Crow waved the fake permissions at the guard, and he just curled his lip and waved the two of them through to the door next to the closed up gate.

Crow opened the door, moving Yuya in ahead of him first. Yuya ducked his head behind his cloak.

This room was barely more than a large box, a bottleneck of people crammed inside. Luckily, one group shoved out through the door on the other side, and there was more space again. The door flapped shut, but not before Yuya had gotten a glimpse of the light from the barely beginning day outside, and his breath caught.

_ So close. It's so close _ .

He could taste it at the back of his throat, the sense of freedom, so  _ incredibly _ close. They just...had to make it through this way...

People crowded around the desk at the back of the room, which was staffed by three irritable looking priests. Robes flashed crimson as they bounced up and down from their seats, passing papers, waving at people, signaling to the guard at the far door, shouting down people who shouted back at them, asking the guard at the door where Yuya and Crow had entered to escort people out.

Yuya pressed up against Crow, keeping his eyes down on the floor. The crimson robes were making his stomach twist—they were Outer Priests, wearing the thin brown stoles that indicated that they were low ranking, recent initiates to the fold, which explained why they were working customs at the far back gate. But even Outer Priests would recognize what he looked like, because in order to be initiated, they were presented to him in the throne room. Everyone in this room could recognize him and send him back to his prison, where he would be horribly punished for escaping.

Crow's hand tightened on his shoulder. Yuya felt a little smothered, but he knew that Crow was trying to comfort him, so he pressed up closer to Crow and tried to act like he wasn't terrified.

“ _ Keep an eye on the priestess at the end of the desk, she's looking for an excuse to ruin someone's day,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ How do you know that?” _ Yugo said.

“ _ Her expression is very telling. You should try looking at people for once.” _

Yuya attempted to tune out both their bickering and the angry, frustrated thoughts of the people around him, but it was so  _ hard _ .

_ I want to kill them _ .

The thought was so crystal clear and smooth that it cut through all of the rest. The other three in his head quieted at the sound of it—it was so... _ intense _ . It reverberated like a clear, focused bell.

_ I want to kill them. _

There was nothing enraged about the thought. It simply  _ was.  _ It was cold, clear, focused, and without hate.

Yuya dared to look out from under his hood to see where it was coming from, but he wasn't sure how to locate it. Everyone here was shouting—no one looked like the kind of person that such a mechanical desire for destruction would belong to.

Crow and Yuya were finally shuffled to the front of the line, where the harried looking middle priest barely glanced at their permissions.

“Mr. Peregrine and his apprentice, dropped off their wares from Shizenrei and looking to pick up more for the next market,” he said. “Fine, fine, just—”

He reached for his stamp, but before he could slam it down on their permissions, the priestess on the end of the row grabbed his arm.

“Hang on, Azuma,” she said. “Remember, we have to check the site number.”

The priest rolled his eyes.

“You're such a fucking hardass,” he muttered. “Ignore her, she's new—really hung up on all the rules.”

“Not a problem,” Crow said, with a half laugh. Even Yuya could tell it was fake, and he wondered if the priest would know. His heart was beating so fast that he was sure everyone could hear it as clearly as he could hear their thoughts.

The priestess glared at him briefly, and Yuya ducked his head under his hood.

“Is there something wrong with your apprentice there, sir?” she said looking at Crow.

“Got hit with a rogue acid spill during the riots last year,” Crow said. “He's a little self conscious about it.”

Yuya could feel the priestess's eyes on him, boring down through his disguise.

“What's your name?” she said.

“Kensho,” Yuya whispered. It was his fake name from the permissions that Crow had gotten for them.

“What guild did you come through?”

“Demons, Manka, let it alone,” the priest said, rolling his eyes. “You see fucking terrorists in every hood.”

He yawned as he quickly moved the papers across the desk to compare them with a sheet nailed to the desk. His tongue poked half out of his mouth as he glanced down over his nose at it.

His face changed ever so slightly. Crow didn't seem to notice. Yuya did.

“ _ Something's wrong,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Is there something wrong with the permissions?” _ Yuto said.

“ _ He definitely saw something,” _ Yuya whispered to them, his chest tightening. There was no mistaking that change in expression, Yuya was good at seeing the little twitches in people's faces that told him when he was about to get hit. He tightened his hand into Crow's shirt.

“Uh...hey, Manka, can you check this on your sheet? The numbers look a little off,” he said.

Manka grabbed the offered paper from him, glaring at the corner. Her eyes flashed up to Crow and then Yuya felt Crow's hand tighten on Yuya's shoulder.

“Are these old?” she said, flapping them at Crow's face.

“No, I just had them written out yesterday,” Crow said.

“Then why are they labeled as issued by a customs office that doesn't exist anymore?”

Yuya felt his entire body seize up. Crow fumbled—too slow. The priestess's eyes dragged across towards the soldier on the other side of the room, her mouth opening—they were caught already, it was over, they were—

And then, someone next to Yuya slumped over the table, their head hitting hard with a thwump. The priestess's eyes dropped down to the man sprawled over her desk, eyes wide and mouth parting with an 'o' of surprise.

A young man behind him swore, shooting forward to put his hands on the man's shoulders.

“Oops.  He didn't take his medicine today,” he said. “Oops. Moony, get over here, he didn't take his medicine—”

A taller young man darted forward, his face completely covered in his hood with a scarf over his mouth. He leaned down silently beside the man sprawled over the table, fingers quickly darting underneath the hood to check the fallen man's pulse. The priestess actually dropped her papers with the shock of it all.

“What the hell,” she said. “If this is some kind of—”

_ I really do want to kill them. _

Yuya's breath lodged in his throat. That thought—that clear, focused thought was coming from the man sprawled on the table. He sensed the motion before it came, and he dug his shoulder into Crow to push him back.

It happened so quickly that Yuya barely saw it. As the other two priests stood up to see what was going on, crowding around the supposedly fainted man, the crowd behind them swelled with shock as they all tried to crowd around and see what was happening, and then—

_ Bang! Bang! Bang! _

In one fluid, deadly motion, the man on the table shot up, and a weapon flashed out from under his cloak. Yuya had never seen anything like it—and in almost seconds, all three priests were screaming with pain as they all staggered back, clutching at parts of their shoulders or sides. Just as quickly, the tall man with the scarf over his face flung a dagger at the guard on the far end of the room.  The young man who had first talked about the medicine dragged his lute off of his back and bashed it into the face of the other guard who had walked forward to see what was going on.

The first man shoved the weapon back underneath his cloak and then whirled on Yuya and Crow. Yuya got just the barest glimpse of his face—pale, aristocratic, with the glint of spectacles catching the light.

He reached for Crow and Yuya, and Yuya almost screamed, Crow grabbing hold of him and pulling him protectively close. The crowd was screaming, vibrating, no one knew what to do.

_ I really wish I had killed them. _

The same thought, over and over in the other man's mind—was he talking about Yuya and Crow, or was he talking about the priests, whatever he had done to them, they were still alive, and they were struggling to get back to their feet, fumbling for their demon bracers.

“Reiji, time to go!” the young man with the lute said. “They're calling reinforcements!”

The man—Reiji, he was called?—reached towards Crow and Yuya again.

“Crow Hogan, we are not your enemies,” he said, his voice low and hissing. “It is time to go. You can trust us or not after we leave.”

Crow didn't ask questions. He grabbed Yuya by the shoulders and whipped both of them towards the doors. The man with the scarf around his face was waiting by the door hanging open; the hinges were smoking and Yuya didn't want to know why. He just nodded as Crow and Yuya burst through the doors.

It took everything that Yuya had just to focus on running. He felt the air blast him in the face, saw the sunlight streaming down over his hands, saw the sky spreading out in front of him down the long, stone road that lead off through wilds of meadows off into the horizon.

_ Free _ , he gasped.  _ I'm free _ .

But judging by the screaming and shouting and the clatter of destructive thoughts behind them, not for long.

Yuya flapped at the end of Crow's grip—he could barely breathe. He hadn't run this much in—ever. Already his legs felt leaden and he kept stumbling over every loose rock and tangle of grass as Crow pulled them off of the road and towards the meadows.

A shadow darted past him, and Yuya yelped.

If Yuya had had air in his lungs, he would have screamed at how quickly and easily the man with the blue scarf over his face had managed to catch up with them—he ran so quickly that he didn't even seem quite human. The man beckoned at them, directing them off to the right.

Crow didn't question that, either. He just swerved off to follow him. They crested the top of the hill, Yuya's lungs screaming for breath—he lost his balance, then, and his legs went out from under him. Crow swore, dragged to a stop by Yuya's sudden fall. Without a word, the man with the blue scarf darted back to them and scooped Yuya up under his arms.  He bolted down the hill with Crow in his wake. Yuya could only cling to him—he could see over the young man's shoulder, though, and he could see that the young man with the lute and the one with the glasses were right behind them.

The young man carrying Yuya finally stopped, and dropped Yuya quickly into the back of—a wagon. They had a wagon. He could only sit there, shaking, not sure what was happening, his vision blurred from exertion and gasping for breath. The man with the scarf grabbed Crow's hand and helped him up into the back of the wagon beside Yuya, then ran around to the front.

The young man with the lute tumbled into the wagon first, on the other side of Yuya. Crow dragged Yuya up to a sitting position against him as the man with the glasses leaped up and just barely managed to get into the wagon, his cloak and the bright red scarf underneath flaring out like wings behind him.

“Tsukikage, go,” he said, his voice tight and clipped. “Sawatari, cover our tracks, now.”

“Yes, sir,” the young man with the lute said, saluting exaggeratedly.

The wagon took off and began to clatter around, making Yuya's head spin. All he could focus on was Crow holding onto him. He saw, vaguely, the one called Sawatari clambering out of the wagon and up on top of the canvas, disappearing to the top of the wagon—what was he doing up there? What did the one called Reiji mean, 'cover our tracks?' Somewhere in between his heart thrumming and the wagon clattering over every rock and hill, he thought he heard the faint strumming of an instrument.

“Who are you?” Crow said, finally, his voice loud in Yuya's ears. “Where are you taking us??”

The other man simply fell back with a sigh, his back leaning against the other side of the cart. He pulled his hood back from his face, finally.

His gray hair was a bit mussed from the exertion, and his glasses were crooked over his violet eyes. He fixed both, though, adjusting his glasses and running one hand through his hair before raising his eyes up to Crow and Yuya.

“My name is Reiji,” he said. “And I'm here to help you.”

  
  



	13. THIRTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Yuugao](https://youtu.be/Jt4x--0Dq6A)

Yuzu only had to follow the sounds of bird song to know where Ruri was.

It was barely dawn. Ruri really was an early bird, as Selena liked to tease. They sometimes butted head over their sleeping schedules; Ruri was up with the first birdsong, and Selena often wasn't falling asleep until long after the sun had set.

Twittering and chirping drew Yuzu down into the woods. There were a few owls still sitting in the trees, watching her with their big eyes as she walked past them, through the copses of trees to a small clearing that was, probably, too close to the barrier for the nuns to approve.

Ruri was there as she usually was every morning. She was already dancing, birds filling up almost every possible space on every possible branch to watch her, singing softly at each other in warning when they got too close to each other.

Ruri looked up from her elegant, smooth motions at the sound of Yuzu's feet. She smiled, but she didn't stop dancing.

“Good morning, Yuzu!” she said. “I don't usually see you here this early.”

“Aren't you scared to be out here by yourself after what happened two nights ago?” Yuzu said.

“Of course not! The birds will tell me if there's anything amiss,” Ruri said with a laugh. “Is there something you needed?”

Yuzu hesitated briefly. She felt like all of the birds were staring at her.

“I...wanted to talk to you,” Yuzu said.

Ruri beamed at her, ever the image of a perfect princess. Yuzu sometimes felt a little inadequate around her; she was so effortlessly elegant and kind.

Yuzu walked into the clearing, moving carefully through the tall grasses in case there were some birds hiding there too. They seemed to like watching Ruri dance every morning. She found her way to the fallen tree on the side of the clearing and sat down, one hand dropping gently to stroke the moss growing there.

“So? What's wrong?”

Ruri didn't pause in her dancing, moving her bare feet across the grass with her smooth, slow spins and turns.

“I...I talked to Masumi yesterday. About...our plans.”

“Are you worried?”

Yuzu traced her fingers across the moss.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Well, that usually accompanies a large decision,” she said. “Do you need to talk about it?”

“Ruri...do you miss your family?”

Ruri frowned briefly, and then she turned away from Yuzu with her next motion. Her hair was free from its normal bun, and it flowed around her like a cape.

“Well...I suppose so, yes,” she said.

She raised her hands up over her and then brought them down slowly, as though she were flapping her arms in the form of wings. It looked way more elegant than Yuzu could imagine herself doing it.

“My brother was really against me coming here,” she said. “After what happened in Corkoro...he didn't want us separated. I think he probably still worries. Mother and mama probably do too.”

She spun again so that she was facing Yuzu once more.

“But I knew I had to do it. After...after losing so much...we had to do our part. I had a Blessing, and it was my duty to make use of it for everyone.”

Yuzu looked down at her knees. She didn't know too much about what had happened when Ruri was a child. She had gotten snippets every now and then. Yuzu knew that Ruri came from Corkoro, the mysterious and reclusive forest tribe, people who had learned to live in the trees themselves and vanish in an instant. She knew that Ruri had an older brother named Shun, who she loved very much and was often reminded of him by the smallest things. She knew that Ruri had two mothers who had found both her and Shun abandoned in the woods, and that they were lovely, happy people who were very much in love with each other and their children.

And she knew that Zarkania had attacked the forest when Ruri was small, and she had lost a lot of people she loved that day.

“So...when Masumi and the others go...are you going too?”

“Naturally,” Ruri said. “It's my job to call the roc and disrupt the barrier.”

“You're not worried about what your family will think when they hear you've disappeared from Rayglen?”

Ruri looked down. She kept dancing, but her step hitched a bit.

“...are you thinking about your father?” she said softly.

Yuzu stared down at her hands. She hadn't slept since yesterday. She couldn't—not after that strange encounter in the woods with that woman, or the shape they had seen in the dark when their bracelets glowed, or after her talk with Masumi and her thoughts of her father.

_ I want to get out of here, I want to fight _ , she thought, her heart squeezing.  _ But...but what am I leaving behind...? _

“My mothers and my brother will understand,” she said. “They knew what I was getting into when I joined. They knew why I wanted to be here.”

“So that you could protect your home again, next time, right?” Yuzu said.

Ruri's lips pressed together briefly, and her magenta eyes clouded.

Her dance slowly slid to a stop, and she just stood there, staring at the sky. Her hair floated around her, her face illuminated in profile.

“Maybe that's it...” she murmured, staring at nothing. A few birds shifted their wings and twittered softly, but the clearing felt immensely silent all of a sudden.

Yuzu half stood.

“Ruri...?”

Ruri looked quickly down at the ground, her hands curling into fists.

“I never told any of you,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I had a friend too, like Rin's Yugo. And he disappeared that day. I lost him in the fire and I couldn't find him. I could just...hear him. Screaming. Screaming for someone to help him.”

Yuzu's heart clenched. She stood up fully and half ran over to Ruri, grabbing her hand.

“Ruri,” she whispered. “Ruri, you were barely a kid back then.”

Ruri shook her head.

“I could have done something more, if I had only honed my abilities, instead of just played with them,” she said. “Because of me, Yuto is dead.”

She swallowed thickly.

“I won't disrespect his memory. I won't fail him again.”

“Ruri...” Yuzu whispered.

Ruri seemed to blink out of some reverie. She smiled again, the perfect mask of quiet serenity back on her face. She put her other hand on top of Yuzu's, smiling as she clasped Yuzu's hands.

“I've made my decision already, Yuzu,” she said. “I know where I want to belong and what I want to do with my memories.”

She cupped Yuzu's face briefly, and her smile got a little sad. Then she pressed her forehead briefly to Yuzu's.

“ _ You _ have to decide what you want to become with  _ your  _ memories,” she said. “And no one can make that decision for you.”

They just stood there for a moment, Yuzu's hand trembling in Ruri's as she felt Ruri's breath against her face and her hand cool on her cheek. And then Ruri squeezed her hand once more, and stepped back.

“I'll see you at breakfast,” she said. “The birds will wait for you to go before they leave, okay?”

And then she was gone, and Yuzu was alone, her thoughts twisting and turning and her stomach flip-flopping.

She thought of the boy again. The crying, scared boy who had smiled so wondrously at the sight of the flowers. She thought of her father's goofy smile, the way he lit up every time she came to get him for breakfast.

_ I want to do something, _ she thought.  _ Please...I need to be able to do something. _


	14. FOURTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Erica](https://youtu.be/sHC188QWouo)

**** Yuya wasn't sure how long it took for him to finally get his wind and energy back, but it felt like a  _ long time _ . He couldn't remember the last time he had been through so much physical exertion—every bit of him ached, and he was having ghost pains from his scars, which had been stretched and irritated from all of the running and getting dragged around.

He thought he might have heard Crow talking to their rescuers, but he was so tired that it was all he could do to listen to the sound of his heart in his ears. He might have dozed off once or twice against Crow, who didn't let go of him for even a moment. It felt comforting.  He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so safe.

When he finally got all his senses back, the wagon had stopped. Yuya blinked a few times, trying to get his vision to return. Crow shifted his hands down to Yuya's shoulders.

“You doing okay?” he said.

“I...I think so,” Yuya said. He coughed once—breathing too deeply was still hard. Crow winced sympathetically.

Crow had already washed off his own makeup, so that his scars were visible on his face again.  He frowned, rubbing at the remnants of Yuya's makeup with his thumb.  Ah...Crow must have washed most of it off of him while he slept.

“You shouldn't have been pushing yourself so hard,” he said. “You think you're going to be okay?”

“I...I could use some water,” Yuya said quietly, his voice feeling hoarse.

Crow shifted Yuya carefully to a sitting position, then fumbled at his belt for his canteen. Yuya gratefully pulled it to his lips and drank a few small gulps. He really wanted more, but he didn't want to impose by drinking too much. He tried to hand it back, but Crow pushed it back at him.

“You don't have to hold back, okay? Drink as much as you need.”

“But this is your canteen...”

“We've stopped near a river, I can refill it. Please, Yuya, drink—Aki will have my head if you don't take care of yourself.”

Yuya flushed, but he obediently went back to drinking, almost finishing the entire canteen. Crow only took it back then, sitting up against the back of the wagon with a groan. Yuya realized that he must have been awfully cramped holding Yuya all that time, and he ducked back.

“Where are we?” he said. “And...who are they...?”

He didn't see the man with the glasses, or the other two, anywhere. He looked around the wagon—it didn't really have all that much in it; just a few crates and a pile of bags in one corner. He couldn't see a horse hooked to the front through the front arch, either. He peeked through the back, but all he could see were the meadows stretching out.

“We're already over a quarter of the way to the oldwoods,” Crow said. “That horse of theirs is...something of a monster.”

Yuya bit his lip.

“ _ I don't like this,”  _ Yuuri said.  _ “It seems dangerous. We should go.” _

“ _ Go where?”  _ Yuto said _. “We're in no condition to run anywhere. We have to trust Crow.” _

“ _ If these guys wanted to hurt us, they woulda done it already, right?” _ said Yugo.  _ “They did help us!” _

“ _ But for what purpose?”  _ Yuuri said, his voice icy.

_ I don't know,  _ Yuya thought. He was a little nervous about that too.

“Who are they?” he said again.

Crow let out a huff, running his hand through his hair.

“They're a bit of a tight-lipped bunch,” he said. “But...much as I hate it, they are helping us quite a bit. They knew who you were and what we were doing. Reiji said he would help us get to Corkoro.”

“Reiji,” Yuya repeated, testing the sound of the name. He wasn't sure what nationality it was himself, but Yuuri indicated to him with exasperation that it was the most popular name in Shizenrei, didn't he pay attention to anything that Yuuri taught him?

And they had...already known what his and Crow's plan was?

Crow squeezed Yuya's shoulder lightly. Then he stood up, making the wagon creak slightly with his weight.

“Wait here,” he said. “I'll go see about refilling our water supplies and seeing what our mystery friends are up to.”

“I can come too,” Yuya said, trying to sit up too.

“You need to rest,” Crow said. “Just a little longer, okay? I'll be right back.”

He ruffled Yuya's hair lightly with a smile. Then he hopped down from the wagon, making it clatter a bit underneath Yuya. Yuya watched him disappear around the corner of the wagon.

For a few minutes, he did what he was told, sitting with his hands in his lap and just staring down at his palms. He felt...well, he felt better. There was a breeze stirring through the covered wagon, ruffling his hair and the hem of his tunic. His clothes felt light and a bit scratchy against his skin, and his ears and neck felt incredibly light without the weight of jewelry hanging from it. He sucked in a huge breath and let it out, just enjoying the feeling of the open air in his lungs. He couldn't smell any smoke or incense for the first time he could remember—nothing but the cool autumn air and the faint tang of grass in his nostrils, along with something that  _ must _ be flowers, but it was so different from the few blossoms Dennis had brought for him that he wasn't sure what they were. He could hear something like insects buzzing out in the grass—and besides that, the world was completely quiet. He didn't even hear any destructive thoughts. It was a wild guess to know how long it had been since he hadn't been able to hear a single thought. His head felt  _ blissfully _ silent.

After a few beats, though, the canvas hanging over his head, closing him into the wagon, started to feel a bit oppressive. He forced himself to stay where he was for another minute and a half—Crow had asked him to stay where he was.

“ _ We don't have to do what he says,” _ Yuuri said.  _ “He doesn't own us.” _

Yuuri had a point. Yuya struggled for just another minute, wringing his hands in his lap. He wanted to go out into the meadow and stand in the grass and stare out at the horizon, not just from inside the cart. But he also felt like he should do what he was told, old wounds skittering with memories of what had happened when he hadn't.

“ _ I don't think Crow will be mad,” _ Yuto said.  _ “He doesn't seem like that kind of person.” _

That was true, too. Yuya didn't know him all that well still, but Crow seemed like he really didn't want to hurt Yuya at all. So maybe it would be okay.

Finally, his curiosity won out. Yuya crawled to the end of the wagon, swung his legs over the side, and landed lightly in the grass.

He walked around the wagon, and the world opened up to him. He could see vast swaths of grass, stretching out for  _ miles _ . He couldn't even see the city anymore! There was no sign that humans even existed out here. Just the grass swooshing in the wind. Was this what an ocean looked like, only with water instead of grass?

For once, the voices in his head fell silent, too, and he wondered if they were just as awed as he was. He thought he heard Yuuri gasp, but maybe that was his own intake of breath.

“Do you like the view?”

The voice was so soft that for just a second, Yuya thought it was the wind. When it finally hit him that it was a person, and not Crow, he jumped, whirling.

The man with the glasses held up his hands at Yuya's pale face.

“My apologies,” he said. “I did not intend to frighten you.”

Yuya's heart slowed after a few beats, but he kept his distance, his eyes fixed on every tiny motion the man made. Or, perhaps, not a man. Now that Yuya wasn't dizzy with exertion, he could see that this person was barely older than Yuya was; he had a youthful face that pinched at the edges of his eyes, as though he had had to grow up far too quickly, and his body smarted from it. This one was Reiji, right?

“You're...you're Reiji?” Yuya said.

Reiji inclined his head.

“I see you caught my name already,” he said. “Yes, that would be me.”

He was much taller than Yuya, but seemed almost as bony. His red scarf hung in thick swaths over his shoulders; it seemed far too warm for even the autumn air. Yuya himself had shed his cloak sometime in the haze of travel.

His eyes, too...they were intense. Yuya felt somehow smaller than he already was under his quiet violet gaze.

“I'm Yuya,” he said.

Reiji nodded briefly.

“It is a pleasure to finally learn your name,” he said. “I've heard much of you, but never a name.”

Yuya bit his lip, remembering what Crow had said. Reiji and his companions knew who Yuya was. Why, then, had they come to their aid?

Yuya opened his mouth to ask, but he was cut off by a voice as the boy with the lute leaned around the wagon.

“Oy, Reiji—should I be getting Armageddon hooked up yet?”

“Don't touch my horse, Sawatari,” was all Reiji said in response, without even looking at him.

The boy's eyes fell on Yuya, then. For a moment, he just stared blankly—and then his face lit up. He rounded the wagon and hopped over to the pair of them, looking as excited as if he had just found his favorite thing that he had lost. He was only a hair taller than Yuya, with the same tone of skin as his own, only with a rounder face and gray eyes. His blond bangs swooped down over and in between his eyes, fading into the clipped brown color behind him.

“Ah! Our little runaway prince has awoken!” he said, grabbing Yuya's hand and shaking it wildly. “Shingo Sawatari, the greatest tale spinner in the four kingdoms and beyond! It is a  _ pleasure  _ to make your acquaintance!”

Yuya shook on the end of Sawatari's hand, feeling like he was being flapped up and down from the ferocity of the handshake.

“I—pleased t-to meet you, too,” Yuya said. He had never met anyone who was  _ excited _ to see him.

“Don't encourage him,” Reiji said, and for a moment, Yuya thought Reiji was talking about him. But Sawatari pouted at Reiji as he released Yuya's hand.

“For shame, Reiji—you do me a disservice! To not encourage me is to discourage art itself!”

“He's more talk than he is action, Yuya, don't mind him,” Reiji said, but there was the faintest hint of a smile on his lips.

Sawatari blustered a bit more—using a lot of words and in fact a few languages that Yuya didn't understand in rapid succession, before the third member of the party walked around the wagon with Crow in tow. Crow stopped mid-sentence to the other young man as his eyes grazed across Yuya.

He took the rest of the distance in just two big strides, moving himself in between Yuya and the other two. Yuya flinched briefly at the sudden motion, but Crow was busy looking at the other three.

“Don't overwhelm him,” Crow said.

Sawatari looked offended, but Reiji just inclined his head.

“My apologies,” he said, and this time Yuya caught just the barest hint of an accent under his otherwise monotone voice.

“So your friend doesn't seem like he wants to use his voice; are we going to get any explanation of who you all are, and why we should trust you?”

The 'friend' that Crow was speaking of, the third member of the party, simply blinked impassively. He was almost as tall as Reiji, his face half covered by a blue scarf, and his dark blue hair gathered into a ponytail. He had alert, attentive eyes, but beyond that, it was nearly impossible to tell what expression he was making.

“Seeing as Tsukikage cannot speak, that would explain why he doesn't answer you,” Reiji said.

Crow blinked, his mouth freezing half open. Yuya's eyes flickered towards Tsukikage. He couldn't talk? Tsukikage met Yuya's eyes silently. Then he looked back at Reiji and made some quick sign with his hands. Reiji nodded, as though that meant something.

“We should get moving again,” he said. “I will be happy to answer any and all of your questions on the road, but I don't like being out in the open like this.”

Crow hesitated. Yuya reached for his shirt then, tugging on it briefly. His heart jumped when Crow looked down at him, and he looked at the ground.

“I...I think they're all right,” he said. “I think we can trust them.”

He didn't hear a single angry or destructive thought from any of them, at least, not at the moment. He had heard Reiji think about how much he wanted to kill the priests, but even then, he hadn't done it. They seemed like they were trustworthy enough...and they had a wagon. That would help cut down their travel time by a lot.

Crow looked uncertain, but after a beat, he blew out through his lips.

“Fine,” he said, looking back up at the other three. “But you'd better start talking once we leave.”

“Of course.”

Reiji inclined his head. Then he turned off towards the rolling hills and put two fingers to his lips. He let out one pure note in a quick whistle. For a moment, Yuya's ears only rang.

And then over the crest of a nearby hill, a horse appeared. The pure black stallion was lit briefly by the light of the sun, and Yuya's first thought was  _ is that a really close hill or is that a really big horse? _

Then the horse cantered down the length of the hill and Yuya realized it was a  _ really big horse _ . Yuya gasped, pressing back against Crow as the stallion approached. Yuya's head would barely reach its chest, and its head was almost the length of Yuya's arm. Its powerful legs were twice the thickness of his own—just  _ one _ of those hooves could probably bash his skull in.

Yuya darted behind Crow. He had never been around a lot of horses but—but they didn't like him, and he knew that much. Crow put one arm back around Yuya.

“Hey, it's okay,” he soothed.

“Animals don't like me,” Yuya whispered. “They know what I am.”

Reiji stepped forward and put his hand out. The horse put its nose right into Reiji's hand, whuffling out once, ears flicking forward.

“I assure you Armageddon holds you no ill will,” Reiji said. “Despite his name, he's softhearted.”

Still, Yuya decided he would keep his distance. He clung to Crow's back as Reiji just put one hand to the horse's neck and led it around the wagon, without any harness or reins. Tsukikage followed, disappearing around the front. Yuya waited until the horse was secured to the wagon before he let go of Crow's shirt. Sawatari spun around and beamed at Yuya then.

“Well, let's go!” he said, clapping his hands. “I actually have questions for you, too.”

For him? Well, at least Sawatari seemed excitable. Crow walked back around the wagon and clambered up, giving Yuya his hand to help him into it. Tsukikage sat in the driver's seat at the front, while Reiji climbed in through the front to sit on the crates.

“Let's go,” he said, and Tsukikage nodded. He tapped the lead on the harness lightly, and they started moving. The wagon clattered underneath them as they made their way over the grasses.

Sawatari plopped himself down in the corner next to the pile of bags, swinging his lute over into his lap and laying his hands on it. He opened his mouth, but Reiji sent him a look and he closed it again.

“Work on covering our tracks, first,” Reiji told him.

“Fiiine.”

Sawatari scootched himself to the other end of the wagon, letting his legs dangle over the side.  He strummed lightly on his lute and hummed low in his throat.  Yuya gasped as he saw the wheel tracks behind them simply...vanishing.  Was that a Blessing?

Reiji's eyes moved to Crow and Yuya then.

“So,” he said. “Your questions. As to who we are...we are simply travelers looking for answers of our own.”

Crow snorted softly. Reiji just raised an eyebrow.

“I came to Eclipsine looking to find more information,” Reiji said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I am...you might call me a scholar. I'm studying the origin of the myth of the goddess and the demon. As the heart of the Zarkanian religion, I thought Eclipsine might have more answers.”

He closed his eyes.

“Unfortunately, we arrived the day the revolt occurred.”

Crow tensed, and Yuya felt his stomach twist. Phantom images of Jack Atlas bleeding out onto the ground flashed over his eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders around his ears.

“With the temple in something of a commotion, there was likely no chance of poking around asking questions of the priests; I would be regarded with suspicion,” Reiji said.

“You want to  _ study _ the demon religion?” Crow said, his voice cracking. “You want to what, hold interviews with the priests about it? What the hell for?”

Reiji leveled his gaze at Crow, and Yuya was struck with just how calm and clear his eyes looked again.

“You may have heard the phrase 'know your enemy,'” he said.

Those words rang for a few moments in the silence. Yuya looked down at his knees, not sure if he had the right or the ability to meet Reiji's eyes.

He heard Reiji lean back again, and there was nothing for a moment but the sound of the wagon clattering over rocks and grass, Armageddon's heavy hooves plodding into the dirt.

“I have my reasons for doing the research I do,” he said. “I will leave it at that.”

“I thought you said that you would answer any of our questions,” Crow challenged.

Yuya glanced up to see Reiji simply blink.

“And are you going to ask?”

Crow opened his mouth—but Reiji's gaze was too powerful. Eventually, Crow closed his mouth.

“Fine,” he said. “Everyone needs their secrets, I guess. But answer this, then: how did you know what Yuya and I were doing?”

Reiji closed his eyes, tilting his head.

“I had a secondary objective in Eclipsine. I had hoped to make contact with the rebellion. There are some things in my own country that need to be addressed, and I wanted to find allies. I sent Tsukikage to find you, and he related back to me what happened with Yuya in your meeting.”

Crow froze.

“How—he wasn't in that room,” Crow said. “I knew everyone in that room, how did you—”

“Tsukikage is trained in arts that many people have forgotten,” Reiji said. “Finding and hiding among you was not a problem for him.”

Reiji opened his eyes again.

“And I was also at the Solstice,” he said. His eyes found Yuya's and Yuya's breath caught. “I will be perfectly frank with you, Yuya. My initial plan was to kidnap you and use you as leverage against the priests.”

“Leverage for  _ what _ ?” Crow said.

Reiji didn't answer that. He just held Yuya's gaze. Yuya felt like Reiji was looking for something there, but he wasn't sure what.

“ _ I don't like him,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Shut up,” _ Yugo hissed.

Yuya swallowed.

“And...and why didn't you?”

Reiji blinked once.

“Well, for one...I thought it was strange that a young man dressed in the clothing of a priest's servant was setting a very obvious fire trap in the alcohol tent,” he said. “And when you vanished...let's just say I decided it would be better to see how things played out.”

He straightened.

“I will be up front with you again, Yuya,” he said. “My interest in you is not purely academic. I know what you are, and I know what you are supposed to become. I do not intend that to happen.”

Yuya nodded. He felt some kind of relief pour through him at those words—it confirmed one thing to him. Reiji didn't want him to last long enough to become a demon. And if he was really studying the demon and the goddess...

“Does that mean—do you know a way to kill me?” Yuya said, his voice cracking with desperation.

Reiji hesitated for a beat. Then he shook his head.

“I do not,” he said. “But I am doing what research I can about both demon and goddess.”

His eyes slid back to Crow.

“It is my understanding that you are heading to Corkoro in the hopes of finding Rayglen,” he said. “I propose a deal.”

Crow's lips tightened, but he nodded, indicating that Reiji could continue. Reiji fixed his glasses on his face.

“I have been looking for Rayglen for a very long time myself; they have records about the goddess that I cannot find elsewhere, and perhaps allies that I can make contact with. I will escort you and Yuya to Corkoro and then to Rayglen if only we can accompany you.”

“That's it?” Crow said. “Why do you want to find these records so badly?”

Reiji's lips tightened, and Yuya thought he saw something pass over his face.

“I...I am not positive I can say, even if I wanted to,” he said. “But...this is what I have left, Crow Hogan. I am very close to the answers I seek, and I feel that Rayglen may have them.”

Yuya heard only the tiniest movement of thought from Reiji then. It was barely a murmur, something Reiji himself was trying not to think or hear from himself. Yuya only got the impression of the thought...and it was self-hatred. Reiji hated himself, but didn't want to admit it. Did it have something to do with the reason he was looking for information about the goddess and the demon?

Crow bit his lip. Then he glanced down at Yuya.

“This is your journey,” he said. “What do you want to do?”

Yuya lifted his eyes. Reiji was waiting for an answer. Sawatari rocked back and forth too, eyes flickering between Reiji and Yuya. Even Tsukikage was glancing back over his shoulder, waiting.

Yuya didn't sense any hatred from any of them—at least, not towards him.

“ _ Well?” _ he asked the other three.

“ _ I don't like it,” _ Yuuri said, right on cue.  _ “...but...” _

That was an unexpected response, and Yuya waited.

“ _ It's up to you,” _ Yuto said quietly.  _ “We'll always listen to what you want, Yuya.” _

Yuya's hands tightened in his lap. Then he sucked in a breath.

“Okay,” he said. “I want to travel with them, Crow.”

Crow let out a large breath, as though he had been holding it for a while, and Reiji's eyes closed with what might have been relief.

“I am grateful, Yuya,” he said.

Yuya just nodded. He wasn't sure what he was feeling right now, but...but it wasn't a bad feeling. He got to make decisions himself, and it was...odd.

Sawatari bounced up and turned so that he was facing them again, looking like he was about to burst.

“All right!” he blurted, his face flushed with excitement. “Finally! A decision! This is a momentous first beginning for our intrepid party! I'll write a song about it.”

Tsukikage let out a coughing sound that might have been a laugh, and Reiji sighed, a faint smile breaking over his lips as though Sawatari had just broken some horrible tension from him.

Sawatari's bright eyes found Yuya's, and a huge grin spread over his face. He strummed his lute once and reached up to tune the knobs.

“Now!” he said. “Might I have the pleasure of speaking with you, Emperor Yuya?”

“Y-you can just call me Yuya,” Yuya said.

“Wonderful! And you can call me Shingo. We're practically friends already!”

Yuya felt a giggle escape him—something about Sawatari's enthusiasm pulled immense weight off of Yuya's shoulders.

“Might I ask you to tell me the story of your intrepid escape? There are many songs about you already, but I want to be the first to write the truth,” Sawatari said. “After all, that's my duty as the world's greatest tale singer!”

“I've never heard of you before,” Crow said, seeming as though he had just noticed Sawatari was even there.

Sawatari drew himself up with a huff.

“Well now you  _ have _ ,” he said.

It was at such odds with the tension of the day, that Yuya just had to laugh. And it was, he thought, the nicest feeling he had had in years. When was the last time he had ever laughed?


	15. FIFTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [In the Midst of Sadness](https://youtu.be/UKYWFkXbfIY)

**** The sanctuary was in chaos.

It took everything Edo Phoenix had just to stay standing with all of the intense emotions bombarding him from every side. He felt like he was going to be sick. It wasn't just the emotions, either, not just the mixed up, sickening cocktail of fear and anger and nerves and frustration that assaulted his brain as though they were his own feelings. No, it was the situation.

_ The Emperor is gone. _

His heart thrummed in his throat as he flashed down the halls of the Outer Sanctuary, past streaking blurs of crimson as priests darted back and forth, arms full of enchanting scrolls and demon bracers and demon weapons. There was no time for decorum, and he waved off anyone who attempted to pause to bow to him. There wasn't time for that. The Emperor had to be found.

_ What could have happened? _ he thought, his heart in his throat, choking him.  _ I was...I was right there... _

He had just vanished. He was guarded with too many wards for any outside magic to have an effect on him, so no one could have teleported him with an enchanting scroll. The only thought Edo could come up with was  _ there's a traitor in our midst _ , but the very idea seemed preposterous. The only people close enough to have taken the Emperor were himself, his attendants Grace and Gloria, High Priest Roger, and Roger's attendants, Barrett and Asuka. Both pairs were handpicked by him and Roger themselves, they wouldn't be false. So then how...

Edo pushed around the corner and through the doors that took him into the courtyard. There was a large space between the Inner and Outer sanctuaries, characterized by the carefully attended gardens in the style of the Zarkanian doctrine. No plants grew in this garden save for carefully cultured black trees that were enchanted to never bloom, twisted into careful shapes with wires to make them look like claws. They grew between patches of raked gravel and large boulders set in special arrangements. All was meant to remind the mind of the inevitability and acceptance of death, that all things must end.

Edo tried to remind himself of the doctrines as he took the path to the Inner Sanctuary, but even that failed to calm him today. His god was gone. Stolen, lost, and who knew where he could be. He was alive, certainly, for no mortal could kill a god, but what would the heathen world outside try to do to him? No, no, he must remain calm. There was no easy way out of this city. He would be found. He would be found.

He opened the doors to the Inner Sanctuary by passing his bracer before the lock, and the recognition clicked it open. Inside, the heavily draped, dark red halls of the Inner Sanctuary admitted him, and he closed the doors behind him.

He made his way down the halls, through more waves of priests and servants, all the way down to the throne room, and opened this door with his bracer as well. How long would the power in this metal last, he wondered? They were working on forging more of the special black metal tools in the Outer Sanctuary, but without their god to bless them regularly, they would drain.

He tried to restrain his own emotions, calm himself. He needed to find his center, so that he could focus. After he had breathed in a few times, drawing him back to himself and re-blocking out most of the emotional barrage from the world around him, he passed through the doors into the throne room.

The throne room was a magnificent display of architecture. Large pillars the color of old blood lined both ends, holding up the faraway ceiling, so tall that the torchlight could not reach it, and sending it into a mysterious darkness. The black marble floor had been polished to a perfect, smoky brilliance, with the long red carpet leading from the doors all the way up to the dais, where the black throne, carved to look like the dying trees in the gardens, sat watching everything. Edo's heart tightened again. For the first time since he had been in this room, the throne lay empty. They never gathered the Council here without the Emperor presiding. This was a state of emergency that Edo had never prepared for.

His compatriots were already gathered, some of them huddled in groups of their own and whispering. A handful of servants were in attendance—which was against protocol, they weren't necessarily supposed to be present, but then again, this was an emergency, and they might need to be sending and receiving messages as the meeting continued.

Roger looked up from where he was speaking to Priest Barrett, giving Edo a tight-lipped smile. Even Edo's composure could not completely blot out the man's stab of disgust. Roger didn't like Edo. Edo didn't like Roger much, either. The man was far too political, too power-hungry, to be an adequate servant of their god. There was too much ambition in him—the doctrines of Zarkania demanded one forego all ambition, as all things would eventually end.

“So good you could join us,” Roger said, in his normally bland fashion.

“I was hearing reports from my patrols in the city,” he said. “They have not yet found anything—but there was some disturbance at the western gate that they are investigating now. A handful of individuals without proper documentation managed to escape.”

More whispers ran around the room.

“The Emperor,” someone asked. “Did they have the Emperor?”

“How could they just walk out of the city with our god?” someone else said, their voice almost cracking.

Roger held up a hand for silence, and the room calmed down. He beckoned to Edo, and Edo moved forward, taking his appropriate place next to Roger. Grace and Gloria were already here, and they fell into place at Edo's left. Roger had Barrett and Asuka with him on his right, and the other priests of the council moved silently to their places until they were all standing in a circle.

Roger cleared his throat.

“As you all know,” he said. “The Emperor has disappeared. We suspect some rebellion scum may have kidnapped him.”

“For what purpose?” one member asked.

“The theories are many and we don't have time to look through them,” Edo said. “They might simply want a bargaining chip—or perhaps they learned our weaponry drains its power without blessings from His Grace.”

A few brief murmurs sprouted up among the group, but silenced as Edo held up his hands. It was so hard to think. Emotions were running high among everyone and his head hurt trying to block them out.

“We don't have time to discuss the whys, only the how,” Edo said. “As in, how we will find and rescue His Majesty from those who have stolen him.”

He turned his eyes to a young man with dark hair and eyes.

“Priest Manjoume, have the location scrolls turned up anything?”

Manjoume looked irritated as he clenched his jaw, and Edo felt a wave of frustration from him.

“Nothing,” he said. “All of our attempts at divining his location have turned up nothing.”

Edo tightened his jaw. That meant, more than anything, that someone was using magic, perhaps a scroll of their own, to block their divination. It was a powerful scroll or mage indeed who could hide from the combined efforts of the Zarkanian priests.

“My most recent patrols have turned up nothing as well,” he said. “But we haven't searched every corner of the slums yet. We will find him.”

“And the public? What do they know of the accident?” Roger said, eyes leveled at Edo.

“We have informed the public that martial law is in order until the terrorist who set the fire comes forward,” Edo said. “As far as I am aware, no one knows that the Emperor is missing yet. We have put out a statement that he is being kept safely within the walls until the remaining terrorists have been executed.”

Roger nodded once sharply.

The door creaked open slightly, and a tiny red-robed acolyte slipped through. Edo recognized him as Sora, his apprentice. It was common for even High Priests to take on specific acolytes as their apprentices—Sora was a bit of a handful, but his Blessing was powerful, and he had a very quick mind. If not for his independent streak of skepticism, he would make for a fine priest.

Sora slipped through the shadows, going around the pillars until he reached Edo's back, passing him a piece of paper into his hand. Edo took it and glanced over the contents. His chest tightened.

“I have a report from the western gate,” he said. “Brief descriptions of those who escaped have been made—there were five of them, and one of them was a young man, about the age and size of the Emperor.”

Whispers blew up around the room, and no amount of holding up hands from Roger got it to silence. Edo crumpled the paper in one fist. His own emotions were bad enough without all the rest jumbled up in his head. His god had been kidnapped by heathens. He felt his chest doing strange clenching things just thinking about it. What did they plan to do with him? What kind of heretics could they be to take arms up against him?

He tried to still the tremble in his arms. He was no easily frightened acolyte anymore—he was the High Priest of the Inner Sanctuary. Despite his own turmoil, he had to remain a pillar of strength for the rest of his fold.

“We cannot be sure it that was truly the Emperor,” Roger said. “However, I do recommend we send a team after them.”

Edo nodded. Roger's eyes moved out to the group.

“As much as it pains me to say, we cannot trust just anyone,” he said. “His Majesty was removed from our midst while surrounded by his priests. It is outside of the normal protocol, but I want volunteers from the Council itself to seek and rescue the Emperor.”

A few more bursts of whispers. Edo's heart ached. He wanted to go. He wanted to go find the Emperor, to rescue him as once the Emperor had rescued him. He felt like a child again, kneeling on the cold marble floor with the other priest initiates, his heart thrumming in his ears during the entire vigil and ceremony, with the Emperor looking over him. If not for the Emperor—if not for him, Edo would have killed himself a long time ago.

He closed his eyes to restrain himself. As much as he wanted to, he knew he could not. The Outer Sanctuary needed him to maintain order and protect the believers.

“If it pleases this Council, I volunteer,” said a breathy voice beside him.

Edo opened his eyes—it was Grace, he realized. She leaned forward, her silver hair sliding over her shoulders like platinum wires, green eyes alight with fervor.

“My lord High Priest,” she said to Edo, her eyes on him as she dropped to one knee. “I know it is presumptuous, as I am your attendant, but please, allow me to do this for my lord. I will see him safely back to the Sanctuary, I swear upon my grave.”

Her emotions were full of such fervor and devotion that Edo almost cried. He smiled, leaning down to put his hands on her shoulders.

“I would trust no one more,” he said. He looked up at the Council. “Do we have approval?”

It did not take long for the others to raise their hands in approval, hands shooting up faster than Edo could have dreamed for.

Gloria knelt then all at once, her eyes lifted to Edo.

“Perhaps I ask too much, but I would accompany my sister,” she said.

“I also volunteer.”

The voice was quiet, but it caught Edo's attention easily.

It came from the woman with blond hair in a braid on Roger's right. She dropped to one knee as well, eyes on Roger.

“I wish to serve the Emperor as well,” she said. “Let me join them in the quest to find him.”

It was hard to pinpoint any one set of emotions in this room full of anger and fear and concern, but...

Edo's stomach twisted. What was this feeling of dread that he got from her? Snippets of anger and rage seemed to float through her head. Was she angry that the Emperor was missing, too, like he was? He couldn't tell, but he felt...uneasy.

“Priestess Tenjoin, isn’t it?” Edo said.

“Yes, my lord High Priest,” she said.

Roger smiled then, and Edo felt his throat clench. Politics. Asuka was one of Edo's priestesses, from the Outer Circle, but Roger had been favoring her lately; probably with the intent on initiating her into the Inner Circle. At this point, only Edo's top attendants had made any volunteer. It was, of course, out of their devotion, but to Roger, that would look like Edo pushing his hand. Damn this man! He would turn even the fate of their missing god into a way to solidify his political power.

Well, as long as it returned the Emperor safely to the Sanctuary, Edo would deal with it.

“Do we accept this trio?” Roger said. “Do we place our trust in our brethren for the time being?”

It was a little slower than Grace's approval, but after a few moments, the majority passed.

Grace shot to her feet, with Gloria and Asuka close behind her. She reached for Edo's hand, holding it briefly and bowing deeply.

“I will not fail, my lord High Priest,” she said.

“I trust the three of your with the fate of His Majesty,” Edo said, squeezing her hand back. “May death wait until you have completed your duty.”

“And may death wait until you have completed yours,” Grace and Gloria said back. Asuka repeated the farewell quietly a beat after the other two. Edo frowned briefly, but he let it pass. He would just have to trust...for now, that was all he could do. Trust in his faith, and the skills of his priestesses.

There was little more to discuss, so Grace, Gloria, and Asuka all left, and the other council members began to disperse into small huddles of whispers. Edo retreated back from the group a few steps, allowing himself a moment of weakness to rest his forehead against his palm. His head hurt, and he felt so sick. He couldn't find enough composure to block out emotions, and he was starting to get leakage from behind the walls, too. He would need to go to the Sanctuary and meditate for an hour or so after he had checked in with his patrols again.

He wouldn't feel right until his god was where he was supposed to be, watching over them. This was...this was honestly a nightmare. A nightmare that he wished he could wake up from.

Paper tapped at the back of his hand, and he blinked, letting his hand fall back from his face. He gripped the note instinctively, but when he turned around, Sora was already darting back into the shadows and around to the door without another word. Another report? He should have given this to him during the meeting...

Edo unfurled the paper, squinting at Sora's messy handwriting.

A sneaking, icy feeling wormed its way into his heart. What...what did this mean?

_ Roger is up to something. _

_ Don't trust him. _

_ I'm going to investigate something. Will let you know what I find. _

Edo's eyes lifted back to the room. Sora was already long gone; Edo couldn't grill him about this. Edo didn't like Roger either, but to accuse him like this? Sora could be executed for treason. What reason did Sora have to suspect him of something, during this of all times? Roger was a political, power-hungry excuse for a High Priest, but...what could he be up to that would prompt Sora to say something like this?

Edo's chest tightened as he realized all at once.

_ Roger's already left the Council. _

Another icy finger trailed down his spine.

_ Where did he go? _

* * *

Roger took his first opportunity to leave that stupid excuse for a council behind, taking the entrance to the lower floors hidden behind the throne. What a farce. The boy had clearly escaped himself, Roger had thought as much as soon as the fire had begun to clear and the Emperor was gone. That stupid, pathetic little runt. He chose now of all times to grow a spine?

Speaking of runts who had decided to grow a spine...

Roger made his way down the narrow stairs, tapping the door open with the lock hidden in the vine carvings across the door. He closed it behind him, and made his way down the narrow corridors. This part of the lower floor surrounded the ritual room, and it was locked off to anyone not within Roger's very particular circle. This was where they tested their experiments on controlling the demon during his episodes. So far, few had come to fruit...five years, and they were no closer to an answer that would put the raging demon under their control. They had only six more months, and the blasted runt had gone and run off. They were running out of time.

And without blood, their weapons would start to cease functioning, leaving them more vulnerable to attack...

Roger's lip curled into a snarl he didn't want to release, but he was so goddamn angry that he let it go anyway. He came to the door he was looking for, and pulled the keys from his belt, unlocking them. At least he had some way to relieve some of this stress...

He heard Dennis's ragged breathing as soon as he walked through, locking the door behind him and replacing the keys on his belt.

“Well?” he said, voice hissing in the tiny, dark cell. “Has some time alone softened you up a bit?”

Dennis didn't answer—perhaps he had blacked out while Roger was gone. The boy dangled by his wrists from the wall, wrists bleeding a bit from where the cuffs had cut into him. His shirt was ripped open along the back, back already littered with a multitude of welts and bleeding cuts. His forehead rested against the wall, and he gasped for each shuddering breath.

“No answer, boy?”

Dennis cried out when Roger latched his hand into his hair and yanked him back, forcing him to look at him. Not unconscious then, Roger thought with some satisfaction at the sight of Dennis's wide, scared eyes.

He released the boy's hair and the boy slumped against the wall again, hanging helplessly. Roger had found him lodged in between a pile of storage crates to shield himself from the firebomb—suspicious, considering he shouldn't have known it was about to happen, or be anywhere near that vicinity at all. More suspicious that the firework remains Roger had found later were from a storehouse that Dennis had the key to.

It had taken only a bit to wring the truth out of him, that he had been the one to set the bomb, and he had been the one to supply the runt with a smokepill. Damn it all to hell! All Roger needed was a location, or a name of a conspirator. There had to be someone that Dennis had communicated with to smuggle the Emperor out, or a place he had told the Emperor to go. That impudent runt had never been outside the palace walls, by all rights, he should have been snatched back up in a matter of moments. There had to be someone behind this.

Roger picked up his whip again, cracking it once against the air just to see Dennis flinch.

“Let's have it, boy,” he said. “I can beat you for as long as it takes. Who did you communicate with? Who put you up to this? Were you in contact with the rebellion?  There’s no point in protecting them—they certainly aren’t protecting you.”

Dennis didn't respond. He hung there silently, forehead pressed against the wall.

Roger snapped his whip over Dennis's back, drawing out a cry.

“Do you want to die that badly?” he hissed. He hit Dennis again, drawing out another scream.

And then Dennis actually laughed.

It was a breathy, hoarse sound, but that was definitely what it was.

“Joke's on you, old man,” he whispered. “I've wanted to die for a very long time.”

Roger snarled and whipped Dennis again, making the boy writhe with pain. This was getting nowhere. He would have to turn to more drastic means of torture if he was going to get anything out of him.

“You can—do whatever—you want,” Dennis said through heavy breaths. “I don't—I don't have any idea where he is. H-he got away from you—all by himself. Y-Yuya is going to find t-the goddess, a-and you won't have your weapon anymore—”

That was about as much backtalk Roger could take from his servant. He tossed the whip aside and picked up a small, black metal prong carved with demon sigils.

He pressed it to Dennis's side and the boy screamed, writhing at the demon electricity that coursed through his body. Roger held it against his bare skin for perhaps longer than he was supposed to. Well, if the boy suffered permanent damage, it wouldn't bother him in the slightest.

He finally removed the prong and Dennis flopped against the wall, tears streaming down his face.

“This is what you get for being brave, boy,” Roger spat. “Do you think that runt cares about what's happening to you now? Do you feel proud of yourself, helping him abandon you?”

Dennis didn't answer. He didn't seem able to.

“Tell me where he is or who he's with, and you can be spared this,” Roger said. It was a lie—he would kill Dennis as soon as he had the answers he wanted. He had no room left for a disobedient servant.

Dennis gasped for breath.

“I c-can't tell you what I d-don't know,” he mumbled.

Roger grit his teeth.

Then he pressed the prong to Dennis again and listened to his screams echo off the corners of the walls.

He'd break soon enough.


	16. SIXTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Questioning Oneself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb5FIl2AUhs)

Stay, or go?

Stay...or go?

Another day of training and another night of sleep, and Yuzu felt no closer to the answer.

_ Goddess? _ she thought silently into the dark silence of her room.  _ Can...can you hear me? _

It was an informal form of address. She had no offerings, and she wasn't even starting with the barest goddess circle symbol on her chest. The abbess would have scolded her if she know that Yuzu was talking to the goddess like this. One didn't just try to pray without the proper rituals and ceremonies.

Yuzu didn't have the time or energy for it, though. The goddess wouldn't mind, right?

_ It's Yuzu again,  _ she thought, making her way through the brush.  _ Uh...I guess you probably knew that already. _

She draped one arm over her eyes, blotting out the darkness of pre-sunrise in the cold, empty room. Tears prickled at her eyes. She didn't know what to do.

_ I....what do you want me to do? _ she thought, wondering if the goddess could even hear her.  _ I...I want to fight...but...leaving dad behind... _

Her mind returned to the image of the boy on the balcony, smiling at the sight of flowers. The world outside was a terrifying place.  _ “I don't think we're ready at all,” _ Masumi had said.  _ “Thinking like that will keep us alive.” _ Keep us alive. There was death out there, beyond the barrier. There was fear and hatred like she couldn't understand.

_ Please, _ she thought.  _ I need some kind of sign. Tell me what you want from me. I'll do whatever fits into your plan, just...tell me what that is. _

It felt so cold in here without Rin, without the sound of her snoring in the bed across from Yuzu. She was...she was all alone. She was the only one here that had someone to leave behind. She didn't...she didn't understand how they could feel the way they did. She couldn't.

“ _ I know what place I want to walk towards, and my family will approve of it,” _ Ruri had said. How could she be so sure? How could she just...know? Didn't she worry about her parents? All Yuzu could think about was the time she had scraped her knee when she was barely a toddler, and her father had blubbered for five minutes while he wrapped it up and hugged her, telling her it was going to be okay, even though she hadn't even cried. Would he cry if she ran away to go fight in a war she didn't understand, to a world where she could easily die and never come back? Of course he would.

But...but all the people out there who couldn't laugh, couldn't smile, because the demon loomed over them...what about them? Shouldn't she think about more than just herself, and her father? What about all the other families and fathers out there? Or was this selfish thinking, too? Thinking that she wanted to be the one to go out and save all of them? Was she only doing that for self-satisfaction?

_ Tell me, _ she thought desperately at the goddess.  _ Please...tell me...what should I do? _

_ I want to save the world,  _ she thought, moving her arm onto her forehead.  _ But how can I think I'm the person to do that? Please, just tell me what to do. _

“....and...resistance...crystal scry....”

The sound of soft voices stirred Yuzu up. She opened her eyes and sat up quietly in bed, looking towards the window. The sun hadn't yet risen, and Rayglen was still in relative darkness. The morning chimes would not ring for another hour or so. So who was up and about? They weren't supposed to be outside their dorms during the night.

Yuzu slipped out of her bed and pressed up onto her tiptoes to reach the tiny, faraway window. She could just barely get her nose over it, and she stared out into the dark, looking for some sign of the voices.

Something moved in the dark, and then she saw the swing of an oil lantern. It illuminated the barest flash of white robes, the silhouettes of a trio of women moving down the path towards the sanctuary. Yuzu squinted. That was...that was Mother Himika. Mieru was carrying the oil lantern, and the woman with the abbess...Yuzu wasn't sure exactly in the dark, but she thought it was one of the three Mothers that served directly under Himika. Yuzu didn't know any of them too well, they were often busy with other things and didn't visit the students often or at all.

What were they talking about?

Curiosity got the best of Yuzu. She really shouldn't be eavesdropping but...maybe this was the goddess's sign she had asked for?

“We're running out of time,” the taller woman said, her voice carrying softly across the path.

“I'm aware of that,” Himika said.

“Can we afford to remove resources from the rebellion?”

“We can't afford not to.”

“What of our progress? Have any shown any signs of aptitude?”

Himika made a soft tutting sound.

“None.”

They were getting farther away. Yuzu leaned harder against the window, but they were going to go into the sanctuary in a minute, and she wouldn't be able to hear a thing. She bit hard on her lip.

She was all alone in the room, but she almost imagined she could hear Rin hissing at her.  _ Go for it. _

“It's against the rules,” Yuzu whispered back at the imaginary Rin.

_ Fuck the rules. _

Maybe it was just because she was desperate to do something, but Yuzu decided to listen to imaginary Rin. She pushed back from the window and darted for the hall. As quietly and as quickly as she could manage, she bolted down the hallway and lifted the latch to the door, slipping outside and closing it behind her.

She kept close to the wall of the dormitory, using the shadows to hide herself. She could hear the faint whispering, but not the words yet, and she darted across the space between the dormitories to the wall of the sanctuary. Feet slipped through the grass around the corner—she bit into her lip to hide the sound of her own breathing. She heard the door open and then close, clicking shut. Well. A lock had never stopped her before.

She darted around the back of the sanctuary, where it attached to the university's main building. There was a pipe here that she could wriggle up, clambering up it like a makeshift ladder. Once on the roof, there was a loose pane in one of the windows. All she had to do was remove it, lay it neatly on the roof behind her, and wriggle through the space. It was just barely big enough to fit her hips and she had to squeeze to get her shoulders through. But then she was through, and sitting nestled in the rafters far above the sanctuary floor. She pulled herself into the shadowy corner, just above the altar and to the right, and folded herself into place, breathing.

From here, she could look down through the slats of the rafters, and see the people moving in below.

“So you're sure?”

“No, and that's the problem. We don't know which calendar is correct.”

“Have your girl scry it.”

“She has. We still don't know.”

A soft cough came from the other nun.

“It's quite an oversight—to not even be able to predict the next eclipse.”

“Timekeeping and astronomy are not the arts they used to be,” Himika said, her voice edged. “The official calendar, of course, points us to six months before the next one...but other records suggest we have another five years. And others only three months.”

The eclipse? Were they talking about the eclipse? Yuzu shuddered softly. That was supposed to be the day of reckoning—but what were they saying? Everyone had said it was six months from now, almost to the day. Time was running short before the demon came into his full power, and they had to train very hard to become worthy of the goddess sword before then.

“So we don't know—we don't have  _ any _ idea when the demon will awaken.”

“No, we don't.”

Yuzu leaned forward, trying to see into the sanctuary. Mieru was sitting quietly off to the side, the oil lamp resting beside her. Yuzu didn't really know too much about Mieru. She wasn't a student of the university, and she wasn't training to become worthy of the goddess sword. She wasn't even ordained, or on the road to ordination, as far as Yuzu knew. She was just always with the abbess, some kind of personal attendant, which seemed odd. What would the abbess need an attendant for? Yuzu had tried to talk to her a few times, but she suspected Mieru thought she was too superior for conversation, because she always ignored Yuzu.

The other nun walked across the room, leaning on the windowsill to look through the stained glass.

“We don't have any way to combat him, do we?”

Himika let out a soft grunt.

“Besides a handful of Blessed children? Of course not. Zarkania has had decades to find their demon. All the goddess has left us are random Blessings. Nothing that can slay a demon.”

“As soon as he awakens, we'll be overcome.”

Yuzu's heart thrummed in her chest. What was this? What were they saying? They had no hope? No, that couldn't be it—they were just worried, that was all. Right? It was normal to be worried.

“Who are your top candidates so far?” the nun asked.

“Mieru points out Apprentice Kurosaki the most often. Apprentices Selena and Rin are close contenders. There are a handful of others who seem to be the close. But not close enough.”

“How have the tests been coming?”

“We've only been able to test them on a few students so far. People start to question when they go missing for long periods of time. We have to have reasons to isolate them.”

“The girl in solitary right now?”

“So far, unresponsive to the testing.”

Testing...? That sounded...foreboding... What were they doing to Rin?

“Mieru.”

Mieru's head jerked up, and she stared in the direction of Himika. Something about her eyes looked...off. But then again, Yuzu was far away, and it was dark, so...maybe she was overthinking things.

Himika walked towards her. She leaned down, putting her hands onto Mieru's shoulders. Mieru visibly shuddered, her hands tightening around something in her lap. It was...some kind of crystal sphere?

“I want you to look again, Mieru,” Himika said.

Mieru's shudder was so pronounced that it shook Himika's hands on her shoulder. For a moment, her mouth only opened and closed a few times. And then, she released one sound.

“ _ Please _ . _ ” _

It sounded  _ wrong _ . Yuzu felt something in her seize up. Something about Mieru's voice didn't match her—was it...was it breaking up? Crackling somewhere at the back of her tone? It felt otherworldly, dragged out of her lips like someone tugging on a rope attached to a boulder over the side of a cliff. She had never heard Mieru speak before—was this why? What was wrong with her?

Himika's hands tightened on Mieru's shoulders.

“ _ Look _ , Mieru,” she said. “We need you to see.”

Mieru started shaking, her mouth hanging open. Yuzu could see the glitter of tears in the corners of her eyes, illuminated by the oil lamp underneath.

“ _ Please,” _ she pleaded again, that horrible,  _ wrong _ voice reverberating through Yuzu's bones. She felt like throwing up.

Yuzu couldn't see Himika's face from this position, but Mieru flinched at something she saw there. Her eyes dropped to the crystal sphere in her lap, hands trembling. She bit into her lip—her face was going white.

Yuzu held her breath as Himika released Mieru, and she and the other nun simply stared at the girl, who stared into her crystal sphere.

Tears started to roll down Mieru's face as she began to tremble.

“ _ Dark,” _ she said, in her wavering, glitching voice.  _ “Dark, dark, dark. So dark.” _

“Mieru, do you see the eclipse?” Himika said, her voice clear and overly enunciated.

Mieru shook her head.

“Do you see the demon?”

Mieru almost withered in on herself.

“ _ Out,” _ she said.  _ “Out. Moving.” _

What was wrong with her? Why...why was she talking like this? And what was she seeing? Was...was this Mieru's Blessing?

“The demon is moving?” Himika said, sounding surprised.

Mieru nodded. Himika looked up and exchanged glances with the nun. Himika looked at Mieru again.

“Look for the goddess, Mieru.”

Mieru moaned softly.

“ _ Doesn't want to be seen.” _

“Look for the one she's chosen.”

“ _ Hasn't chosen.” _

“Who is she likely to choose?”

Mieru shook her head and said nothing. Himika sighed. She ran a hand briefly through her hair.

“These have been the only answers I can get out of her for the past five weeks,” she said. “We need a weapon, and we need one soon—before the demon awakens.”

“I'm worried about the demon  _ moving _ ,” the other nun said, rubbing her chin. “What does that mean?”

“We'll send out another falcon to see what our plants in the temple have to say about that. But it seems preposterous for the priests to move the demon after that riot.”

The other nun nodded.

“Let me know if anything changes with the current test,” she said, moving away from the window. “We are running out of time—I don't know that we can worry about what the others may think.”

“I'm starting to agree with you. Mieru. Come.”

Mieru stood up obediently, swaying slightly on her feet as though she were a puppet on strings. She put her crystal sphere into the large pocket of her robes, then leaned down to pick up the oil lamp. Her eyes looked dull and distant again, and Yuzu felt her heart quicken. What exactly had she just watched?

The nun and Himika moved towards the door.

But Mieru hesitated.

Her eyes wandered up towards the rafters, staring—staring right at Yuzu.

Yuzu held her breath. Did Mieru know she was here? Was she going to rat her out?

Mieru just stared for a long, long moment. Then, slowly, she brought one finger to her lips.  _ Sh.  _ Was...was she telling Yuzu to stay where she was? And then, Mieru moved her finger to point out towards the window, still staring at Yuzu. She was pointing in the direction of the shrine. What did that mean?

“Mieru! I said come!”

Mieru's hand dropped to her side limply, and she turned, walking obediently after Himika's order.

Yuzu waited in the rafters for a very long time, her head buzzing. Outside, she heard the chime of morning bells, the hint of the sunrise starting to piece through the stained glass. She really...she had no idea what she had just witnessed. And what had Mieru tried to tell her?

Testing? The eclipse time was off? A weapon? What weapon? The goddess sword?

Yuzu felt a cold dripping through her stomach.

_ Goddess, _ she thought.  _ I don't know if I understand what you're trying to tell me. _

That was...if this was the goddess trying to talk to her after all.

She didn't know.

  
  



	17. SEVENTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Widespread Illness](https://youtu.be/F9B1RF3n7XA)

If Sora Shiunin was going to be completely honest, he didn’t believe in gods.

Of course, that wasn’t the kind of thing you said while you were growing up under a religious oligarchy, and he had learned very quickly that the smart plan was to keep your mouth shut on pretty much any and all opinions. Listening, after all, got you the most dirt. And regardless of what the priests wanted to believe, dirt and blackmail was the only way anything got done around here.

Sora sat silently in the alcove underneath one of the windows high on the wall. He was tucked behind the small statue that occupied the alcove, but said statue wasn’t thick enough to take up the whole space. Someday Sora would be too big to fit in here, but he would take advantage of it while he could. No one ever thought to look up, after all.

_ No one except Edo, at least _ .

That wasn’t important for now, though, so Sora turned his attention to the chaos below.

It was far more lively in the Inner Temple than it normally was. That was to be expected, what with the Emperor missing and all. That was a big deal. Sora’s tongue flicked over his dry lips as he peered past the statue and looked over the chaos, trying to count priests and guess about how many Inner and Outer priests were coming and going. The Outer priests all seemed a lot more panicked than the Inner ones, and there were a lot more of them bustling back and forth with arms full of books and scrolls or more demon weapons. An order had gone out to reduce use of the weapons and bracers as much as possible, as until His Majesty was returned, they couldn’t reinfuse the items with his blessing.

Sora twisted his own bracer around his wrist. He had only one—and it was a thin thing, barely a bracelet. A few grooves were carved into the black metal. When activated, those runes would glow a dull red, like blood was filling them up, and eventually, once the power bled out of it, they’d turn to a silvery gray. Sora had never had to use his, though. It was just a basic protection bracer given to acolytes, it would send out a pulse of energy that would temporarily knock out everyone without a bracer within a hundred foot radius. If for some reason he found himself in trouble, like from hecklers and heathens as Edo always called them, it would give him a few moments of reprieve to escape. Not that Sora was even allowed outside the temple until he was either initiated or phased out. One of the lovely perks of being a staircase acolyte—an orphan left on the steps of the temple by parents that didn’t want him.

He twisted the bracer around his wrist again, considering it. How did it work, anyway? The Inner Priests said that the Emperor performed a special ceremony to infuse the offered blades with his power. Was that his Blessing? Sora wasn’t convinced he was really a god. Gods didn’t grow up normally like human beings, and Sora had seen the Emperor grow up just like he had. No, he was positive the Emperor was just an extraordinarily powerful Blessed soul, like Sora. Legends said the most powerful Blessings could be transferred to objects so that other people could use them, and heroes had given parts of their power as gifts to their friends and allies.

Of course, the real problem became this: if the Emperor was really just a Blessed child, why did everyone think he was a god?

_ Nobody thinks  _ I’m  _ a god _ , he thought, feeling briefly miffed about it.  _ I’m almost as powerful as he is. _

Either way, it had always seemed pretty suspicious to Sora that no one outside the very inner circle of the Inner Priests could watch the ceremony that infused the weapons. Everyone could come and watch priest initiations, even common people. So why the secrecy?

What with all the commotion, Sora thought this might be the best time to find out. It would be much easier to sneak around.

Sora planned to wait for a lull before he climbed out of the alcove. But he didn’t end up getting the chance, because the far doors opened, and Edo swept through.

He looked a little strained, as usual in a crowd. Sensing emotions was probably a pain in the ass. Sora was glad he didn’t have that Blessing. Judging by the way Edo was looking around, too, he was probably looking for Sora. Sora should have known that was coming after leaving that note for him. He probably should have waited to tell Edo what he was up to, because Edo would want answers now, and Sora didn’t have any yet.

Sora pressed himself into the alcove, hoping the statue and shadows would hide him.

No such luck.

Edo stopped right underneath the alcove, raising an eyebrow as he looked up towards it.

“Sora,” he said. “Don’t you have more important things to be doing than spying?”

Sora groaned, rolling his eyes. Jig was up.

“Do I?” he said, peeking out from the alcove.

Edo just huffed once.

“Could you have picked a more dangerous place to climb up into? What if you fell?”

“I’d catch myself.”

Edo sighed. He glanced at the priests running back and forth in the hallway. A few of them paused to see what was going on, but most of them saw Sora and Edo and kept walking. High Priest Phoenix scolding his apprentice was a normal enough sight, although Sora knew some of them would start to whisper again as soon as they got out of earshot.  _ Why did the High Priest of the Outer Circle make such a poor choice in his first apprentice? The boy is a menace. _

“Could you come down here? It’s difficult to talk to you with my neck craned like this.”

“Do I have to?”

Edo narrowed his eyes briefly, and Sora knew that  _ yes, _ he had to. This was probably about his note. He really should have waited to tell Edo that he was going to investigate.

Sora wriggled himself free of the alcove and swung his legs around, gripping the carvings on the wall’s pillar to start shimmying down. He could have easily floated down using this Blessing, but climbing was far more fun. And it took longer, making Edo wait.

Sora hopped lightly to the floor and turned to face Edo. He didn’t bother fixing his now rumpled, dusty robes, but Edo did, frowning as he reached down to smooth out the folds.

“Might I have a word with you at my study?” he said.

“I don’t really have a choice, so yeah.”

Edo frowned again, and Sora could almost hear the  _ I'm your mentor, not your keeper  _ bit. For once, Edo didn't say it, though, and Sora thought it was probably because he really wanted to hear what Sora had to say and didn't want Sora to say no. He beckoned at him, and Sora sighed. He followed after Edo down the hall and out the doors. They went through the creepy, dead-forest looking courtyard with its twisted branches and dead rocks everywhere, out to the outer wall, where the Outer Temple was built into it. Edo opened the door with a wave of his demon bracer, and beckoned Sora to go in ahead of him.

The Outer Temple wasn't too much different from the Inner Temple, if a little more cramped. The interior decorating was the same morbid shades of red and black and carvings of twisted faces of death, though. Sora followed Edo down the thin hallways, ducking around yet more bustling priests until they reached Edo's study.

Edo unlocked this door, too, and let Sora in. Edo's study was barely an office; it had maybe enough space to hold ten people if you squished them in really tightly. There was a single, thin window to let light trickle in, but only when the sun was setting because of the way it was facing. Edo's cot was folded up in the corner; the room itself was incredibly empty, with the only other furniture being a pair of thin wicker chairs, a battered old desk with scrolls and quills, and one small bookshelf with only a few thick tomes, the rest of the shelf space filled with small religious items, like the iconic tiny statue of a dead black tree or a few crests carved with religious symbols. Sometimes. Sora wondered how Edo could live like this—this was his entire space. Sora had to sleep with the other acolytes in a cramped room full of bunk beds, of course, but Edo was the High Priest of the Outer Circle. Shouldn't he get a better room?

“You know, Roger's room is way nicer than yours,” he said. “Why is that?”

“That's High Priest Roger, Sora, and you shouldn't be snooping around in other priests' room's— _ especially  _ High Priests' rooms.”

Sora just pressed his lips together. It was true, though. Sora had sneaked into a few rooms while they were empty, and Roger's room was actually bigger than even the Emperor's room. It had always seemed a little suspicious to Sora.  Then again, he couldn’t exactly admit that he had been in the Emperor’s room.  Not unless he wanted to be executed for blasphemy.

“You don't like him either,” said Sora, as Edo walked around his desk to sit at one of the two chairs. “I don't need to be able to feel emotions like you to tell.”

Edo's lips pressed together.

“My personal opinion of High Priest Roger is of little concern,” he said. “We don't have to like each other. Our goals, and our devotion to our god, are the same.”

“Are they?”

Sora didn't sit down in the other chair, even though he could tell Edo was waiting for him to. Sitting down meant that he was on Edo's terms, and he wasn't in the mood for that today. Edo steepled his fingers together, and waited for just a few breaths. When Sora didn't move or elaborate, he sighed, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closing.

“You're a smart boy, Sora,” he said. “But you can't let your emotions cloud your judgment. Your feelings towards Roger don't have a place in our order. We have to work together to—”

“I'm telling you, he's up to something. I don't think you should trust him.”

Edo's eyes opened, and for a moment, he frowned at Sora. Then he sighed again, and moved up to lean his elbows on the desk, eyes fixed on Sora.

“You know why I chose you to be my personal apprentice, right?”

Sora sighed. This again.

“You're smart, Sora. You're quick, and you don't take anything at face value. You question everything you see and look for your own answers instead of taking what others give you. That's the mark of potential. And I see a lot of it in you.”

“Yes, dad,” Sora quipped.

If Edo had been anyone else in the order, he probably would have had Sora beaten for that. But Edo wasn't anyone else. He just chuckled.

“Listen, Sora. We need more people like you in the temple. Not people who make up their minds and never change them—but people who want answers, and seek them.”

“And what if the answer I find is that I still don't believe in god?”

That usually got him to end the conversation, as Edo was most disappointed with his apprentice's lack of faith. Usually, it would get him sent to the sanctuary to meditate for a few hours, and he could sneak away and get back to what he wanted to be doing.

Today, though, Edo just shook his head.

“Then you can age out of the temple, and leave when you're eighteen. But I don't think that's what you'll choose. You've stayed for as long as you have already.”

_ I just don't think he's a god _ , Sora thought.  _ He doesn't look like a god. _

Sora shrugged.

“Where else am I gonna get free food?” he said.

Edo just smiled wryly. He tugged at the cord around his neck, pulling the crest out from under his robes. It was the mark of his status as the High Priest of the Outer Circle: a thin, flat disk that had the runes of the Emperor's blessing etched on its silver front. He played with it for a moment, just staring at the way the light flickered off of it.

“All right,” he said, looking up. “I'll bite, Sora. What makes you think that I shouldn't trust High Priest Roger?”

“Besides the fact that he's a power-hungry weirdo?” Sora said.

Edo's eye twitched, and Sora knew he was reaching the limit how much sass he could give out today.

“I'm thinking about the demon weapons again. I want to know how they're made.”

“We forge them here in the Outer Sanctuary forges, with the proper rune etchings to perform their intended tasks,” Edo said. “Then the Emperor infuses them with power for a brief period for us to use.”

“But how does he do it? Sorry, how does  _ His Grace  _ do it, exactly?”

He corrected himself when Edo's eye twitched again. He wanted Edo to listen, so he had to play by the rules for now.

“He blesses them,” Edo said.

Sora clenched his jaw.

“With all due respect, I don't think that's a good enough answer,” he said. “Why is it so secretive?”

“Does this have to do with why you mistrust High Priest Roger?”

“His servant went missing the other day. I haven't seen him anywhere. And Roger has been disappearing for hours at a time; not even his closest attendants know where he is during that time. Doesn't that seem weird? The Emperor is gone and he's been disappearing off by himself?”

“I'm...sure he has things he must attend to, as well,” Edo said. “And that's  _ High Priest  _ Roger, Sora.”

Sora ignored him. He had gotten a little twitch of uncertainty in Edo's eyes, and he thought he could push it a little further.

“I—I went into the Emperor's room yesterday,” he said. This was a gamble—admitting to trespassing of that magnitude could get him executed. He kept talking before Edo could say anything, talking over him. “It was hard to tell, but there's dried blood all over the floor. And I found this on the table.”

He dug in his pocket, pulling out the little jar of ashes. It was half a lie—it hadn't been on the table. It had been in one of the drawers he had ruffled through, but he was risking a lot just admitting that he had been in the Emperor's room at all. The idea of telling Edo that he had been snooping through all the drawers, too, was almost certainly too dangerous.

Edo frowned at the jar, clearly surprised enough by it to forget that he was about to lecture Sora for his sin of trespassing in the Emperor's rooms. He picked it up, turning it around against the light. He popped off the lid and dipped a finger into it to look at the dust on his finger.

“Ashes?” he said.

“Those—those are for scarification. You know, right?”

“I'm afraid I'm not following.”

Sora winced. He was admitting to a  _ lot _ of shit right now, but he had to make sure Edo knew. With all this commotion and chaos...

Sora's mind drew back for a moment, to a day where the sun was actually shining for once in this dark-ass country. When he had pulled himself up into a tree to avoid the other staircase kids, who had been throwing rocks at him. When Edo had stopped underneath the tree and looked up—the only person who had ever looked up.

“ _ What are you doing up there?” _

“ _ Getting closer to god,” _ Sora had said, sarcastic.

That would have gotten him a beating from the priests in charge of the staircase kids. Edo had only laughed. He wasn't like the other priests. He was better than they were.

He thought to another memory. A whispered breath in the darkness of a hallway he wasn't supposed to be in, the hiss through the lips of someone that might have been Roger, he couldn't tell in the dark; the night that Edo had been initiated as the High Priest of the Outer Circle—someone had whispered  _ “I'll find a way to have him removed permanently.” _

Sora didn't believe in god.

But he believed in Edo.

And  _ hell _ if he was going to let anyone take the only person that had shown him any modicum of kindness.

He came back to the room, where Edo was waiting patiently for an answer. Far more patiently than he should have been waiting after hearing his apprentice had been snooping in his god's rooms.

“I've...seen them doing it in alleys,” Sora said. “When I'm up in the trees, looking over the wall. They rub those ashes into people's cuts to make them last longer, like tattoos. I've seen them doing it in—uh—the prison, too. To make blood runes scar.”

Edo frowned; clearly he had never heard of such a practice.

“But why would this be in the Emperor's room?” he said.

“I don't know,” Sora said. “Why would anyone need to scar the Emperor?”

“No one would—to even touch him is a sin,” Edo said. His voice was so full of fervor and confidence in this that Sora felt his stomach twist.

_ You don't belong in a world like this _ , he thought, staring at Edo with his wide, open face, full of belief and faith.  _ It's too cutthroat for someone like you. I'm honestly amazed you're still alive. _

“I'm just telling you what I'm finding,” Sora said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Something...something feels wrong. Really wrong. And I'm getting...nervous.”

It took a lot to admit that, but...it was true. In all this chaos, it would make it much easier for someone to have Edo assassinated and blame it on a terrorist attack. Edo could disappear, and Sora would be all alone again. He didn't believe in miracles, either, but it had been one hell of a coincidence that he had managed to end up with Edo instead of someone else. And if Roger had his way, Sora was certain that he would take all that away from him.

Edo sighed. He set the jar back onto the table.

“Sora, I know that everything is a little nerve-wracking right now,” he said. “But that is no reason to let your suspicions overtake you.”

“I thought you said that I was good at asking questions. That's what I'm trying to do—”

“Sora.”

Edo's voice actually cracked a bit, and Sora shut up. He looked...disappointed. Sora's stomach twisted.

“Listen to me,” he said. “I am going to overlook that you were where you absolutely weren't supposed to be—but just this once. I cannot keep covering for you when you do things like this, Sora. And I can't condone it, either.”

This was one of those  _ shut up, Sora _ moments, so Sora kept his mouth screwed shut.

“We have to work together in times like this, Sora. We're all frightened. But I need you focused on what needs to be done right now. Can you promise me that?”

_ No _ , Sora said.

“Fine,” he said, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Edo blew out once through his lips. Sora could tell that Edo was thinking that he had agreed too easily. He probably would have pressed more, but then, the door pounded with the sound of someone knocking.

“High Priest Phoenix, there's been another skirmish—near the eastern gate—”

Edo swore, shooting to his feet. He bolted around his desk, pausing only long enough to grip Sora's shoulders.

“Please, Sora, I need you with the enchanters,” he said. “Tell them I sent you, do what you can to help them locate the Emperor. Report back to me if I've returned by sunset.”

“Yes, sir,” Sora said, not meeting his eyes. It was a testament to the emergency they were in that Edo didn't respond to Sora's petulant, rebellious emotions.

He just squeezed Sora's shoulders, released him, and ran out the door.

For a few moments, Sora only stood there, staring at the tiny, austere room. It really wasn't big enough for Edo. He did all the goddamn work around here practically by himself.

Sora's fists curled up.

Fine. He had planned on waiting a few days to find the best route, but he would do it right now. He'd find his way into the basement.

He knew it had to exist. He had explored every corner of the temple as soon as he had been old enough to sneak and hide, using his Blessing to distract patrols or get into places that he shouldn't be able to get. There were doors that he couldn't open with his own bracer, doors that were always closed no matter what time he went—except during the week of the new moon, when the Inner Temple was so tightly closed up that even he couldn't get in. Something was happening in there. He knew it.

He'd find proof that Roger was planning shit, and he'd show Edo.

* * *

It was surprisingly easy to sneak around when no one was expecting you. Of course, it also helped that Sora could suspend himself in midair and clamber along the ceiling.  _ No one ever looks up. _

Sora did not believe in gods or miracles, but he did believe in Blessings. Who knew where they came from, but he knew that he had one of the most powerful ones that the priests had seen, and he was damn proud of it.

_ Telekinesis _ , Edo called it when he saw Sora use it for the first time. More specifically, they had found through testing, it was his ability to manipulate the gravity of objects—just quickly enough that he could cause items to be drawn towards other people at very fast speeds. Like knives. Or scissors, like that one time when one of the asshole kids in his bunk room had tried to smother him in his sleep with a pillow. He had trouble with moving other people, but he could move himself easily enough, changing his gravity to move upwards or sideways instead so that he could walk along walls and ceilings.

He went to the throne room. It was empty now that the council meeting was over, and Sora was sure that Roger had disappeared somewhere in here. One distracted priest later, and one lock's gravity convinced to go the opposite direction, and he was through.

He closed and locked the throne room door behind him, then turned towards the dark, cavernous room. It was almost night already, and the windows were never very big in here to begin with—without any torches, the room looked like a giant maw with pillar teeth about to swallow him whole.

He bit back the nerves and made his way to the back of the room. There was only one place that a secret door could be hiding in this room, and that was behind the throne—where no self-respecting servant of the Emperor would ever dare go.

He darted across the room and up the stairs, trying to ignore the demonic looming of the creepy throne as he walked behind it into the shadows beneath. It was too dark to see, so Sora had to wait a few moments for his eyes to adjust. He felt forward carefully. What was back here, in the alcove behind the throne? His fingers came across the silver-black piping that made up the fancy backdrop. Then to the heavy curtains that hung right behind the throne. There was space back here.

Sora pushed through, squinting through the dark. He felt ahead into the cool space and...

Metal. He felt metal. And...and a latch.

_ A door _ .

Sora tried to use his Blessing to lift the latch. Nothing. It was warded against Blessings—he should have known. He ran his tongue over his lips. How badly did he want to get in here? He could probably change the gravity of the throne, make it fall and then cause it to bludgeon the door open. But then he wouldn't be secret anymore. So instead he could...

Was that the sound of someone opening the latch?

Sora threw his gravity to the wall on his right, landing lightly on it as though it were the floor, and running towards the ceiling. He crouched there, waiting as he saw the door swing open.

It was Roger.

Sora bit his tongue as the man stormed out of the room. Even in the dark, Sora could see his mussed up hair, his ground teeth. It took Sora only a moment to realize that this was his only chance to get inside.

He felt out the throne and altered its gravity. Just enough to make it squeak, and then he released it back to where it was supposed to be. It made Roger hesitate, his eyes glinting towards the sound. Sora changed his gravity again, sliding down the wall until he was standing above the door. He crawled through it from the top, inches from Roger's head, and let himself plaster to wall inside.

Roger huffed, and then the door closed behind Sora, leaving him in the dark.

Sora waited—he counted the seconds until he had counted off two minutes. Only then did he let himself slip down to the floor, landing lightly on...steps. He was on stairs.

He ran his tongue over his lips.

He got out of this one of two ways—one, he was caught, and Edo would be forced to have him punished for trespassing. Or two: he found undeniable proof that Roger couldn't be trusted.

He felt his way down the stairs as slowly as he could. After a few minutes, light appeared at the bottom, flickering torchlight that slowly helped his eyes acclimate.

He reached the bottom of the stairs. This place looked like a prison, he thought. Cold, dark stone walls, a damp taste to the air. There were torches, but they were very sparse. There was one here at the bottom of the stairs, and then one at the far ends of the hallway on either side of Sora. He bit his lip. Which way...?

He decided on left. He had only made it a few feet down the featureless hallway before it split off to his left again, another torch at the end of that one. He took the fork, one hand on the wall to keep himself grounded in the patches of darkness. What was this place even for? It wasn't storage, that was for sure. There weren't any doors or anything, either. So what were the hallways for?

There was another door at the end of this hallway. This one reacted when he pushed on it with his Blessing, and he slipped through.

He felt a cold seep into his chest when he saw what lay before him.

The chamber was huge and circular. A raised dais ran around the outside, but in the lowered center, grooves were carved into the ground, leading to four pools at each end of the compass. And in the very center, there was an altar.

An altar with chains affixed to each corner.

Dread crawling through Sora's stomach and drying out his throat, he stepped gingerly into the lowered space, avoiding the deep grooves. He paused to peek into them. He shivered. Was that...dried blood? That was...a  _ lot _ of blood... Had it filled up every single one of these grooves? The dry line reached pretty far. Someone who lost that much blood would have been dead...were they sacrificing people down here?

Sora made his way to the altar. It was the same here—the entire table was stained with blood stains—the chains were bloody, too, but mostly on the inside, implying that whoever had been chained here had rubbed so badly against the chains that they had bled into them. Sora felt sick. What was this? Blood sacrifice?

There weren't any clues in here, so Sora gratefully stepped back from the altar and hurried to the door he had seen on the other side.

Once through that door, three paths opened to him, one to each side and one in front. He hesitated, looking carefully at each one. There seemed to be some doors set into the walls of these halls, so...was there something inside any of them?

He'd check the one in front of him first. He walked slowly, checking every door. None of them were Blessing warded, or even locked, so he could peek through. They were all the same on the left, though.  All of them were prison cells. Bare, tiny boxes with just a bench and chains. He checked the ones on the right, but they were...stranger. Some of them were simply larger cells, but one was a bare room with just a bunch of cabinets, and a big glass window on the other end. When Sora looked through, he saw an even bigger cell, like it was some kind of observation room. He bit his lip at the state of the room, though. Huge, wild claw marks rutted the walls, and parts of the rock looked like they had been burned, or even  _ melted _ , and hardened up again in puddles of stone on the floor. Remains of  _ shredded _ chains lay inside and...and a few bones, too, Sora realized with horror. Were they keeping an animal in here? And...and where was it now, if it wasn't in there?

He wanted to bolt, but he made himself check all the cabinets. There were a lot of scrolls and pads of notes. He didn't recognize the shorthand on most of them, but...

He choked at the sight of the diagram on the one he had pulled out. It was...this was a picture of the Emperor. Only, he wasn't in his robes, and there were...there were runes drawn all over his body. The Emperor had blood runes? That—that wasn't right. No one was supposed to touch the Emperor. Even brushing against his hand by accident could be grounds for execution. So why were there plans here for experimental runes? Sora hadn't even seen most of these before; they looked like some legitimately  _ nasty _ stuff.

He ripped the page out, and the three after it, folded them up, and shoved them into his pocket. Edo might know what they meant. Even if it meant getting in trouble.

He left that room behind and continued on. He started skipping a few of the doors, because they all looked exactly the same as the prison cells before.

He stopped at one where the door was sealed shut. That was weird. Why was this the only one that was closed? He put his hand to the metal—and then shivered. Did he hear...someone crying on the other side of this door?

There was someone imprisoned down here.

Heart thumping in his chest, Sora attacked the lock with his Blessing. It simply crumpled—he had made it experience too much gravity in his haste—and he pushed the door open.

He almost threw up. There  _ was _ someone in here. And it was a wonder he wasn't dead.

It actually took Sora a second to realize that it was Roger's missing servant boy. Sora had never spoken to him, but Dennis was always around Roger up til recently. S-so this was where he had turned up. The boy lay crumpled on the floor, hands chained together—his shirt was ripped to shreds, his back sliced to ribbons by a whip. He trembled and twitched strangely, and there were burn marks all over his arms. His hair was burnt at some of the edges, too, and Sora didn't want to know how that had happened.

He darted forward, dropping to his knees, hands hovering awkwardly over Dennis.

Dennis  _ flinched _ , his whole body convulsing at the motion.

“I'm sorry—” he gasped, his eyes wide and blurry.

“H-hey, it's okay, it's not—whoever you think it is,” Sora said. “Sh, hey, don't move, okay?”

Dennis blinked blearily at him for a second, mouth flapping open and closed.

“Yuya?” he mumbled. And then, “N-no, c-can't be...h-hallucinating again...Y-Yuya got away...”

“Yuya?” Sora said, just desperate to keep Dennis talking. How was he still alive? What had—what had Roger been doing to him?  “Who’s Yuya?”

“He got away,” Dennis mumbled. Oh god, he was barely coherent. “Got far away. P-priests c-can't touch him a-anymore...c-can't b-bleed him anymore...”

Sora felt himself blanching. The blood all over the altar. His mind worked quickly, more quickly than he wanted it to, and he covered his mouth with both hands to repress the desire to vomit.

“Are you talking about the Emperor?” he whispered, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. “Are you saying—the Emperor  _ ran away _ ?”

Dennis's eyes rolled back into his head briefly, and Sora choked, thinking he was dead.

“I d-don't know where he went,” Dennis said, his voice broken and scratchy. “D-don't know...I-I just...made t-the distraction...c-can't tell y-you what I d-don't know...”

No, it couldn't be possible. The explosion at the festival. Roger torturing his own servant. The Emperor missing.

_ The Emperor ran away _ , Sora thought, horrified.  _ What would make him—why would he run away? _

“ _ You're a smart boy, Sora,” _ Edo had said.

_ Too smart for my own good,  _ Sora thought, feeling like he was going to choke.

He had to get Dennis out of here. And he had to tell Edo that—he had to tell him. The truth. Dennis knew the truth, he was right next to Roger and the Emperor all the time, he knew the truth. This was the proof that Sora needed.

But Dennis was on death's doorstep and Sora didn't know what to do.

_ I can't take him to Edo right away, _ he thought.  _ It's not safe in the temple for him—not now. Roger could find a way to strongarm Edo into handing him back over. Could make up an excuse about why he tortured him that has nothing to do with the Emperor. _

Sora sucked in a breath.

_ I...I have to take him to the rebellion. _


	18. EIGHTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme:[Faltering Prayer - Starry Sky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT4SviJIB98)

Yuya startled awake—he wasn't entirely sure why, but he was awake now, staring at the ceiling of the covered wagon. His body ached from lying at such an awkward angle, folded up against the hard wood of the wagon, but at least he had been able to sleep uninterrupted for a long time. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

“ _The wagon isn't moving,”_ Yuto said groggily.  _“Did we stop?”_

Yuya rubbed at his eyes. Crow had fallen asleep across from Yuya, his arms folded over his chest, chin fallen against his collarbone. Reiji and the other two were nowhere to be seen, but Yuya could see the hint of firelight flickering from the edge of the wagon's opening, so they must have set up camp for the night. Yuya licked his dry lips and yawned, stretching. For a few moments, he just sat there in the wagon.

They'd been traveling for a few days now. Yuya kept falling asleep so he wasn't entirely sure how many days, but it must have been about two or three. Armageddon moved them along quickly and steadily. Crow said they were probably about three days out from the oldwoods, and somewhere in the oldwoods lay the Corkoro people, who hopefully knew where Rayglen and the goddess's champion was.

Yuya's throat was dry. After sitting there just dealing with it for a few minutes, Yuuri hissed at him to go get the canteen and Yuya finally gave in, crawling across the wagon to gingerly lift the canteen from the floor beside Crow. He took a long drink, sighing as he let it back down into his lap.

His ears twitched, then. Was that...singing...?

It was a faint, distant sound, as though someone were trying to sing too softly to be heard. Yuya caught the hint of a lute strumming softly, too. Was that Sawatari? He had been singing a lot on this adventure, constantly pestering Yuya to tell him more about his time at the temple and his escape. Yuya told him whatever he asked, but Crow always started to look sick and started having violent thoughts towards the Zarkanian priests when he talked about it, so Yuya had been trying not to say anything else. Sawatari didn't need much to start scribbling ballads, though, and he would sing the story songs he had made up about Yuya in snippets as he thought them up.

But that didn't sound like Sawatari's voice, not quite. Who was it?

Yuya crawled to the end of the wagon, looking both ways in the dark. The fire was glimmering off to the right of the wagon, so he swung his legs over and hopped into the soft grasses.

His eyes happened to flicker up, and he had to stop, then. Because he could only stare.

Stars flooded the sky. Huge, sparkling white stars, scattered like diamonds across a deep, velvet blue. He could see something like the edges of wispy, multicolored clouds swirling in between the copses of stars. Yuya's mouth dropped open. He...he hadn't even looked up once during this journey yet. Or maybe he had been asleep when the night came. But...this was...

“ _It's so pretty,”_ Yugo breathed.  _“There's so many stars!”_

The other two were just as dumbfounded as Yuya, so they couldn't say a word. Yuya turned, slowly, trying to see every inch of the sky above.

He yelped when he heard a foot fall lightly in the grass behind him, and then the soft singing stopped abruptly and he spun. He spun so fast that he almost fell—Tsukikage lightly caught him by the shoulder, steadying him.

Tsukikage's dark eyes glittered at Yuya. He blinked once, face inscrutable under his mask.

“Tsukikage? Is someone there?”

That was Reiji's voice, Yuya realized. Tsukikage tapped on Yuya's shoulder and pointed towards the fire, head tilting. That was...that was a question, wasn't it?  _Come over to the fire_ , he seemed to be saying.

Yuya let Tsukikage guide him around the wagon into the light of the fire. Reiji was the only one there. He sat on a small stump beside the fire, doing...something in his lap. There were some kind of parts resting on the fabric spread over his knees, and he had a cloth in one hand, rubbing at something. Sawatari sat on the ground on the other side of the fire, fiddling with the knobs of his lute and muttering.

Reiji glanced up.

“Ah,” he said. “Did I wake you?”

The way he said it made Yuya think...maybe he had been the one who was singing.

“No,” Yuya said. “I woke up on my own, I promise.”

Reiji nodded almost imperceptibly. His eyes lifted to Tsukikage. Tsukikage stepped away from Yuya so that he could make a brief flurry of signs with his hands, and Reiji nodded. He tilted his head towards the fire.

“Are you hungry? You haven't eaten much during the journey.”

Yuya opened his mouth to say no, he was fine, but then his stomach rumbled right on cue and he felt his cheeks flush.

“ _Take the food if they're offering it,”_ Yuuri hissed at him.  _“Demons, Yuya, stop being such a wallflower.”_

Yuya ducked his head.

“Uh...yes,” he whispered.

Reiji beckoned him closer to the fire, and Yuya only hesitated a moment before creeping over. Sawatari smiled at him, but it was a distant, distracted smile, as his eyes went right back to his lute. He muttered something that might have been a swear, in a language Yuya didn't know.

Yuya sat awkwardly in front of the fire, between Reiji and Sawatari. Reiji put down the cloth and the part he was holding, and Yuya realized that it was the strange weapon that he had used against the priests in Eclipsine. Reiji picked up a stick leaned against his legs, and poked at the fire—Yuya realized then that there were little metal lumps in the blaze, and Reiji teased one out onto the ground.

“Let it cool for a few minutes before you pick it up,” he said. “The foil is hot.”

Yuya nodded. Reiji teased the other few lumps free with the stick, and then laid it down again. He picked up his cloth and one of the pieces on his lap, wiping it off with a quick movement. Yuya stared at his lap for a few moments, wondering what he could say. If anything at all.

“Um,” he said, making Reiji glance up. “What...what is that?”

Reiji glanced at the parts in his lap.

“I'll show you,” he said. “One moment please.”

He tucked the cloth into the front pocket of his vest. Quickly, as though he were incredibly practiced, he slotted all of the pieces back together and flipped the weapon up back into his hand lightly. It was sort of a bent shape, with a hand that had a little switch right at Reiji's first finger. There was a long tube at the end of it, and some kind of spinning part just above the handle.

“This is a pistol,” he said. “You won't have seen one before. They're currently only in use as prototypes in Meiying. Their muskets are a tad more reliable but...harder to conceal.”

He spun it once around his finger so that it landed in his hand with the handle facing towards Yuya.

“You can look at it, if you'd like.”

Yuya hesitated, but Reiji let it hang in the air.  He wrapped his hands around it and took it gently. It was heavier than he had thought it would be, he thought. How did you hold it? And what did it do?

“It's...it's for hitting people with?” he said. The handle looked like a bludgeon.

Reiji shook his head. He held out his hand and Yuya handed it back. Reiji took it in his hand again, pressing his finger lightly against the switch.

“It's currently unloaded, but it would normally be filled with small spheres called bullets,” he said. “The mechanism uses gunpowder to apply force to the bullet, pushing it through the cylinder in such a way that it reaches many hundreds of thousands of miles per second in just a few moments.”

Yuya stared at it. Something that small could do that? Was that the banging he had heard before the priests had collapsed?

“And it...it shoots those at people?”

Reiji nodded.

“It's a bit of a dangerous weapon,” he said. He flipped the spinning part out, and reached into his belt to start feeding the small spheres into each hole. “And expensive. I don't have much ammunition for it.”

His eyes flickered back to Yuya as he flipped the now loaded spinning part back into the contraption, and hid the weapon back under his cloak again.

“I'm sure it's nothing like the weapons your priests use,” he said. “I've heard very...interesting things about them.”

His voice was low and flat, but Yuya could hear the flicker of thought in his head. He hadn't just heard of them, Yuya realized. He had seen them used. And he was furious about it.

Yuya ducked his head.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled.

Reiji blinked.

“What for?”

“It...it's my fault...that the weapons exist...”

Reiji closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he didn't look at Yuya. He leaned down towards the metal lumps on the ground, picking one up gingerly. When it seemed it wouldn't burn him, he lifted it up and peeled the metal back—oh! They were thin sheets of metal around a potato. Reiji held the half unwrapped potato to Yuya. Yuya hesitated before taking it. The metal was still warm, and steam rose up across his face. He closed his eyes just to enjoy it for a moment. It smelled nice—there was some kind of garlic-y scent to it.

Reiji picked up another one and handed it to Tsukikage, who appeared suddenly out of the shadows, and then disappeared again with the potato. Yuya blinked. When Reiji caught his gaze, he just shrugged.

“He doesn't like to eat around other people,” he said.

Yuya ducked his head. He hadn't been trying to be nosy. Reiji tried to give Sawatari one of the potatoes too, but Sawatari just swore in another language, stood up abruptly and stormed off.

“And he just gets into moods,” Reiji said, rolling his eyes. He peeled the metal back from his own meal and blew on it softly.  "You can have his potato."

Yuya stared at his own meal for a few moments, but his stomach rumbled again, and he went to work biting into the softly baked potato. Demons...it tasted so good. He almost wanted to cry. It burned his tongue a bit, but he didn't care.

For a moment, they just ate in silence, nothing but the faint buzz of insects filling the dark, starlit field around them.

“Yuya,” Reiji said after a beat. “You do not have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable. But how are the demon weapons made?”

Yuya swallowed another hot bite of potato. He almost choked on it, and he had to cough a few times before he could answer.

“ _Don't tell him,”_ Yuuri said.  _“He'll get ideas.”_

“ _Yuuri, shut up,”_ Yugo said.

Yuya glanced up briefly at Reiji. Reiji's dark, violet eyes simply looked at him, level and calm, without a hint of emotion on his face. He might have been a statue—and his head was quiet. There was nothing destructive about his question. Was he just...curious?

Yuya licked the potato from his lips before answering.

“They're made with a special metal,” he said. “I...I don't know what the metal is, but it's always a really dark black after it's forged. They make them in the Outer Temple with the right runes for what they're supposed to do.”

Reiji nodded.

“I've come to know that bit,” he said. “But how is their power imparted? They say that you bless them, but something tells me there is something more than that.”

Yuya's stomach twisted. For a moment, his brain flashed back to the altar, and the chanting, and the dimly torchlit room and Roger with his knife pressing into his skin—

He didn't realize that he had blacked out until he realized Reiji was holding him by the shoulders, whispering soothingly to him. Yuya fumbled for his words again.

“Sorry,” he said. “S-sorry.”

“It's all right. Breathe. I shouldn't have asked.”

Yuya shook his head.

“M-my blood,” he managed to get out. “They use my blood. They h-have to perform special rituals with it to make it hold to the metal longer, but m-my blood has special properties that passes my power into the weapons.”

Reiji's hands tightened on Yuya's shoulders and for a moment, Yuya heard his mind crackle with anger.

“So,” he said, monotone. “That's how it works.”

He held onto Yuya's shoulders for a breath longer. Then he let go, and stepped back to his stump, sitting down again and retrieving his fallen potato. He only stared at it for a long, long moment.

Yuya swallowed. He felt sick, now, but he really wanted to keep eating, so he did. He wondered why Reiji had wanted to know.

“You know,” Reiji said, after a beat. “I think this world of ours...we rely too much on old magic.”

Yuya glanced up at him, but Reiji's gaze was elsewhere. He reached into his cloak again and pulled the pistol out, twisting it so that the firelight glanced off of it. He looked up and down it's length.

“When I went to Meiying, I saw nothing of either goddess or demon there,” he said. “They're a proud people. They have a lot of pride in their factories, in their technology. I tried to trade my enchanting scrolls with them and they laughed at me. Scrolls, they said, could only be used by a handful of people, and they take months to write and forge. The real power was in their factories.”

He let the pistol drop down over his knees.

“I thought them strange, back then. What kind of place did not make offerings to either goddess or demon? What kind of country left behind proven magics for unproven science, left behind the gods for humanity?”

His eyes slid to Yuya, and Yuya thought maybe he could see the stars reflected in his eyes.

“But maybe they're the one who were right,” he said. “Maybe it's time we let go of those older ways. They've brought much pain and suffering to us. To you.”

Yuya looked at the ground.

“I think that's...probably good,” he said. “I...I don't want to be a demon. I want to disappear...then...humans can keep growing, right? This world doesn't need a demon anymore.”

Reiji made a soft, breathy sound, and Yuya wasn't sure if it was a laugh or a huff.

“You speak as though you aren't a human yourself.”

“Because...because I'm not.”

Reiji just blinked at him. Then he sighed, standing up and rolling his shoulders.

“Tell me, Yuya. Which part of you decided to flee from the horrors you experienced? The demon part, or the human part?”

Yuya's mouth opened, but no sound came out. What kind of question was that? He didn't even know...what to say...

Reiji spoke again, so he didn't have to come up with anything.

“I used to think poorly of humans,” he said. “I thought only the goddess was perfect. But now I see the world that she made that isn't perfect at all.”

He looked down at Yuya, calm, and quiet.

“So I will believe in humans,” he said. “I will believe that we have the ability to fix the world. I will believe that the goddess made us for a reason, and that we have power that she did not.”

“W-what power is that?” Yuya said, feeling rapt all of a sudden.

Reiji's eyes were as deep as the star studded sky above, and Yuya thought, for a single, shuddering moment, that this must be what a leader looked like.

“The power to change ourselves.”

He folded up his now empty foil and set it beside the fire.

“I'm going to check on Armageddon. I suggest you get some rest; we'll be starting early again tomorrow.”

Yuya just nodded dumbly. Without another word, his scarf fluttering around him, Reiji turned, and walked away into the night beyond the firelight.

Yuya stared at his half eaten potato. His thoughts clattered and spun. Even the voices in his head were quiet, thinking about things on their own. He took another bite of potato.

Maybe things would make more sense in the morning


	19. NINETEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Tribe of Fire](https://youtu.be/MSM_UhEunrM)

“So, what's this all about, Yuzu?”

Yuzu ran her tongue over her dry lips, her hands pressed tightly into her lap.

It was a little cramped inside her room with all these people, but she wasn't sure where else they could conceivably talk without either people noticing, or a nun or another student overhearing them. The nuns rarely checked the dorms, and only if it was late at night and they were trying to make sure everyone was in their beds.  During the middle of the day, this was the safest place she could think of to hold a meeting.

Masumi perched on top of Yuzu's pillow, awkwardly crunched into the corner. Selena and Ruri had taken the other bed, and Hokuto leaned against the door, with Yaiba on the floor next to him, and Yuzu perched on the end of her own bed.

It seemed like it had been years since Yuzu had witnessed that strange confrontation in the sanctuary, but it had only been a day. A day of thinking and overthinking, the words on her tongue every time one of the others passed her on the campus to one of their classes, wondering if she should say anything at all. After all, this was the abbess they were talking about, right? They should trust her, shouldn't they?

But... _ testing _ ...what did that mean? What was happening with Rin?

She swallowed, feeling the entire room's eyes on her.

“I overheard something weird yesterday,” she said.

“From who?” Hokuto asked.

“From...from the abbess, and one of the high priestesses. They were talking in the sanctuary yesterday morning.”

Selena let out a low whistle.

“And you were spying on them?” she said. She gave Yuzu a thumb's up that Yuzu wasn't sure she wanted, and Yuzu just rolled her eyes.

“Listen,” she said. “They said some things—I'm worried about Rin. It sounded like they were...doing something to her.”

“She's in solitary,” Yaiba said. “So yeah, they're doing something to her—they're putting her in solitary.”

“It sounded like more than that. It sounded like they've been doing something to everyone they put in solitary. Something about...testing.”

Ruri's face scrunched up with worry, but Selena just leaned back on her hands.

“Yuzu, we've all been in solitary before,” she said.

“I haven't,” said Yuzu.

“Okay, everyone who's cool has been in solitary before,” said Selena. “Nothing happens. You just sit in a little room with a votary of the goddess and you have to pray a lot and think about what you've done. Mostly, you just sleep.”

“Can confirm,” Hokuto said.

“Yeah,” said Masumi. “That's about it. It's not freaky or anything. Just boring.”

Yuzu's hands tightened in her lap. No, that didn't seem right...that didn't make any sense.

“Where is the solitary cell?” she said. “If I can just have a peek and see that Rin's there just bored out of her mind, then I'll be satisfied.”

Masumi's mouth opened. And then it closed again. She furrowed her brow. Yuzu's heart clenched. What kind of expression was that?

“It's...uh...well, of course we don't know, cause otherwise people would spring their friends out or go bother them, or something, right?”

“But you've  _ been _ there,” Yuzu said, feeling a flutter of unease. “Why don't you know how to get there?”

She swung her eyes to Selena next, and then to Hokuto, and Yaiba. All of them looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. Their eyes wouldn't meet Yuzu's, mostly staring off into space or at the floor, brows furrowing and lips parting in thought. What kind of response was this??

“Do they blindfold you when they take you?” Yuzu said. “That seems a little much, doesn't it? And why wouldn't you remember if that happened?”

Her heart thumped in her chest. What was this? They didn't even know where it was?

“That's...” Yaiba started.

“None of us know,” Hokuto said, his voice flat. “We—we have no idea.”

Yuzu's hands clenched in her lap.

“Then...why?”

The room fell silent. Then Masumi swore softly in another language, and Yuzu felt a cold running through her.

“What are they doing to Rin?” she said. “And what have they been doing to all the students who have to spend time in solitary meditation?”

Selena looked like she was going to throw up, and she pressed a hand to her mouth.

“They—they fucked with our memories? Is that what you're saying?” she said, her voice trembling.

“I don't know what I'm saying,” Yuzu said. She hugged herself, trying to put some pressure on her arms to ward off the sudden chill. “But—but I think something is wrong. I think the High Priestesses are trying to do something, and I don't know what.”

Masumi leaned forward, her eyes glittering, hard, and angry.

“What else did you hear them talking about?” she said.

Yuzu hesitated. She thought it over again—the events of that morning had been burned into her brain, as she thought it and re-thought it over and over again.

“They seemed scared,” she said. “They said something was wrong with the calendars. They didn't know what the eclipse was coming. And...and they said that the demon was moving.”

“Moving?” Ruri echoed, sounding distant and dizzy.

“That was...that was what Mieru said.”

“Mieru was there?” said Hokuto, pushing off the door to stand upright, his arms folded so tightly that he looked like he was going to crush himself.

Yuzu nodded.

“She...I think something's wrong with her,” she said.

“Something's always been wrong with her,” said Yaiba, resting his head on his hand, elbow on his crossed legs. “She's kind of a bitch. Won't even say hello. Probably got a big head after the abbess made her her like, personal servant or something.”

Yuzu shook her head, feeling cold again.

“I don't think...I don't think she  _ can _ say hello. Himika and the other priestess were asking her questions, and she...she had trouble talking. They were asking her to scry, I think.”

“She can scry?” said Masumi, eyes widening. “Is that her Blessing, or something?”

“I-I don't know,” said Yuzu. “But something was wrong with her. It was like she wasn't all there, like she was struggling just to be  _ human _ .”

She felt so cold. She just wanted to crumple up in on herself and disappear. What was going on in this place, and why were the abbess and the priestesses being so secretive? What was happening to Rin?

The peace of Rayglen was crumbling right under her fingers, and she didn't know what to do about it.

Masumi's hand gripped her shoulder. It was steadying, her hand warm against Yuzu's skin, and she tried to breathe.

“I don't know,” she said again. “But I'm scared. I think something's wrong here. I think they're hiding something from us, and I don't even know what it is. They said they were looking for a weapon, but I don't know what that means—is that the Goddess Sword, or something else?”

She choked on her words. She had to put one hand over her mouth and squeeze her eyes shut. Oh, goddess...she was so scared. She had no idea what was happening...

A cool hand fell on top of hers on her lap, and she opened her eyes to see Ruri. Ruri smiled at her, squeezing her hand between hers and bringing the fingers briefly to her lips.

“Yuzu,” she said. “It's okay. You're not alone. All right?”

She cupped Yuzu's face and held it briefly.

“We're all together now,” she said, soothing. “I'm glad you came to us, to talk to us about what happened. We're all going to work together. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Hokuto said, grinning. “You've got  _ us _ now. More importantly, you have  _ me _ .”

“Yeah, okay, make sure your head doesn’t fall off with all that swelling,” Masumi said, rolling her eyes.

“You're not going to have to investigate this by yourself,” Selena said, standing up and folding her arms. “We're a team. We always have been. You got it?”

Yuzu blinked back tears.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice choked.

“We should push back leaving,” Masumi said, looking up at Hokuto. “Especially if it sounds like Mieru has the power to scry—she could find us as soon as we leave.”

Hokuto nodded.

“We'll need some new plans, then,” he said. “For now, let's focus on researching things around here. I'll start poking around and seeing what areas are normally off limits, see if I can catch anything of Rin.”

“I'll help,” Selena said.

“Yaiba and I can start sneaking into the restricted parts of the library and see what's there that they don't want us to see,” Masumi said. “Yuzu, Ruri...maybe the two of you can see if you can corner Mieru? Sounds like she might have the most information.”

Yuzu remembered the harsh, strange voice that tumbled out of Mieru's lips and shuddered. But no, Masumi was right. Mieru was probably their best bet to finding out what the abbess and the priestesses were up to. That would be hard, though, because Mieru was always around the abbess...

“You two are the only ones in our group who have  _ never _ gotten in trouble. They're less likely to think you're up to something if you start hanging around Mieru.”

It made sense, Yuzu thought with a grimace. Ruri just nodded.

“That works with me,” she said. “Yuzu? Are you going to be okay?”

Yuzu swallowed thickly. She thought, again, of her father. Of the boy she had given the flowers to. About how she wanted to be someone who could protect this world and the smiles of everyone in it.

And now, it seemed she couldn't even trust her own order to do it.

She  _ had  _ to do something about it.

She lifted her eyes, and nodded.

“Thank you,” she whispered to the room. “Let's do it.”

* * *

Mieru was always with the abbess, and rarely ran messages for her, so they would have to wait a bit before either of them appeared. Yuzu was alright with that. It gave her a few moments to retreat to the shrine, to catch her breath.

_ I don't know anything. I don't know anything at all _ .

Everything was much more complicated that she had first thought. Even this order, which was made to worship the goddess and protect the world...it had secrets. Secrets that made Yuzu's heart clench up just knowing that they were there and she had no idea what they meant for her, for her friends, for the world.

_ Goddess? Are you there? Is this what you wanted from me? Was that why you sent me to listen in on what they said? Do you want me to investigate your own order? _

There was, of course, no answer. Yuzu didn't expect one, either. It just felt somewhat calming to pretend, at least, like she was talking to the goddess.

She made her way through the brush towards the shrine clearing. She could sit there and pray for a while, get her head on straight before she moved on to the next phase of their plan, to find and corner Mieru and try to talk to her.

She was so lost in thought that she did not see the lumpy shadow sitting in front of the shrine until she had already walked out into the clearing, and it had already turned towards her. Yuzu yelped in spite of herself. She leaped back, both hands out—she could make a distraction with some flowers growing rapidly in a pinch—

“Whoa there,” the woman said, a faint smile the only thing that Yuzu could see under her cowl. “I'm unarmed, see?”

She raised both hands—she was still sitting, cross legged, her cloak pooled around her on the ground. This time, Yuzu could see the clothing underneath the cloak. It was simple traveling clothes, a short, long-sleeved white tunic with a purple vest, a few belts slung over both shoulders to the one around her waist with various pouches and bags hanging from it. Sturdy, practical brown pants that were tucked into her calf high, laced up boots.

“It's you again,” Yuzu said. “W-where do you keep coming from?”

“Hm? I'm usually just around here—or in the pilgrim's inn back in the village.”

“But you keep just...disappearing, every time I look away.”

The woman frowned.

“Do I? I apologize. That's very rude, isn't it?”

She stood up, making Yuzu jump again. But all she did was lean down to dust off her pants, and then straighten, her cloak falling over her clothing again.

“Who... _ are _ you?” Yuzu asked.

The woman seemed to think about it for a long time, actually putting one finger to her lips as though this were a difficult question to answer.

“En,” she said.

“Your name is En?” Yuzu said.

“Not really, but it's what I currently go by.”

Yuzu blinked.

“That's...not really an answer.”

“Well, sometimes names change. It happens when you've been around for long enough.”

She didn't make much sense at all, did she? In spite of herself, though, Yuzu felt like she was relaxing, her arms dropping slowly back to her sides.

“You must be really devout to have come all this way and found us,” she said. “And then stayed so long.”

Pilgrims never stayed much longer than a day or so, just long enough to say their offerings at the sanctuary and leave. There wasn't much time in life to stay for long, and the nuns didn't like having outsiders here.

En simply shrugged.

“I don't think I'd call it devotion as much as curiosity.”

Yuzu blinked. This woman liked to make every response cryptic, didn't she? Yuzu felt like she should be more nervous and worried, especially after the last encounter with the woman, but for some reason, she just didn't. Maybe it was because she was already tired and worried from her other problems; she didn't have time or space to worry about anything else.

“Curiosity?”

“Mmhm. I like to collect stories, see. About the goddess and the demon.”

Yuzu's lips parted.

“Are you a story singer?” she said, trying to hide the murmur of excitement in her voice. She had only ever met one—a sweet, laughing young woman with her chestnut hair cut close around her fair face, blue eyes light as she danced around with her violin and sang stories. She hadn't been able to stay here for long, as the nuns had asked her to leave but...the music haunted Yuzu still, sometimes in her sleep.

“I would be if I could play any instruments—but I'm all thumbs, unfortunately.”

Yuzu nodded, trying to hide her disappointment. It wasn't that big of a deal, anyway.

“What kind of stories are you looking for out here, though?” she said. “You'd do better in the library.”

“Probably,” En said, shrugging. “But...sh.”

She put one finger to her lips, and Yuzu fell silent—her heart thumped in her ears. Was something wrong?

She didn't hear anything. There was the water, of course, and the breeze in the trees, and the birds singing, the rustle of flowers in the brush as animals wriggled past them.

“Hear that?” En said.

“Hear...what?”

En's lips twitched into half a smile.

“The story. The one the forest is telling you. Can you hear it?”

Yuzu listened again, but...nothing. She just heard the normal forest sounds.

“I don't think I get it.”

En smiled under her hood, and Yuzu wondered why she didn't just push it back from her face. Wasn't it hard to see? Was there a reason she was being so mysterious.

“It's a song, see?” she said. “The song of life. The breeze rustling the leaves makes their seeds fall to the ground. The seeds grow into more trees, or they're eaten up by animals so that they can live to have another litter of children. The story continues. It's the story of life itself. You can always hear it, if you just take a moment to listen.”

Yuzu felt some strange twisting in her heart, as though...she felt like crying. It sounded so beautiful coming out of her mouth that she didn't know what to think. She lifted one hand to her heart and squeezed.

“You make it sound so beautiful,” she said.

“Because it is. Isn't living beautiful? Isn't the world around you beautiful? The cycle of life keeps going, even after things disappear. Over and over. Nothing ever truly disappears, it just becomes something else.”

She sighed, head tilting back every so slightly, but Yuzu still couldn't see her face.

“If I died, right now, even if the entire world forgot I existed, I would still exist in this world. My body might decay, but it would become the new life of a new, beautiful tree, and I would still be a part of that tree. That tree could be chopped down and built into a home, and I would be part of that home—and the memory of that home would remain with the children who grew up there, and I would be somewhere in that memory. And so I would continue on, forever, even if I was forgotten. Life is just a cycle of continuing, even when things disappear. Isn't that beautiful?”

Yuzu felt tears in her eyes for some reason. She rubbed them away.

“Y...yeah,” she said. “It is...”

She swallowed thickly.

“You...you have a really beautiful view of the world,” she said.

When En smiled next, there was something sad about it, even though Yuzu couldn't see her eyes.

“You find what keeps you going,” she said, soft. “What keeps me walking is the knowledge that, no matter how much the world changes, everything still remains a part of it. Everything is still the same pieces that built it from the beginning of time, just reconfigured into something else. If you realize that, you're never really alone.”

Yuzu wished she could understand why her heart was squeezing like this. It was like the woman's sadness was flowing into her as though it were her own. What made her so sad? Even her beautiful thoughts were tinged with it.

En turned slightly towards the shrine, then.

“Have you ever been inside?” she said.

It was such an abrupt change of subject that Yuzu had to stop, dizzy, for a moment before she could respond.

“No, of course not,” she said. “That's where the sacred sword rests until the champion can lift it again. It's...it's a sin to trespass the sacred place without the goddess's choice.”

En let out just the softest snort.

“Sacred sword?” she said. “It's only a hunk of metal, really. Not that special.”

She looked back at Yuzu then, and a faint smile danced over her cheeks.

“Don't give up yet, all right?” she said. “I think things will work out in the end.”

“What are you talking about?”

But the woman just smiled, and turned into the woods. Yuzu scrambled forward. Her fingers grasped for the edge of En's cloak. There was something important she wanted to say—she didn't know what it was, but she didn't want En to disappear yet.

“E-En,” she started, and then, her foot caught in a root and she yelped, tumbling face first into the dirt.

She coughed up soil, pawing it from her face. But when she finally got herself to look up again, En had already vanished from sight, completely. As though she had never been there at all.


	20. TWENTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [The Mystery Deepens](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmfSl5VgTxA)

Getting Dennis out of the temple had, quite honestly, been the easy part.

Carrying him was just a matter of adjusting his gravity until he was lighter than a feather, making it less of carrying him and more of just pulling him after Sora while he floated. Normally, it was hard to use his Blessing on people, but that was because humans got really stressed out when their gravity changed, and tended to struggle and throw Sora's power off balance. It was a testament to Dennis's weakness that he didn't struggle at all. And then getting over the wall was easy—in the chaos and the dark, it was easy to walk up the side of a tree and then down the other side of the wall without making a bit of noise.

Now, the hard part was navigating a city that had never been in before, and finding a rebellion that he wasn't entirely certain existed anymore.

Sora spent one night on the streets, hiding behind bags of trash and hoping that Dennis's soft moaning wouldn’t either attract muggers, or mean that he was dying. How did one find a rebellion that didn't want to be found—especially when he was wearing the bright crimson red of the religion they hated?

Sora ended up stripping down to his brown tunic and shoving the crimson robes into a ditch. He dropped his bracer, too, sending a mental apology to Edo for discarding the important item. Not being recognized as a Zarkanian acolyte was way more important right now.

_I just need to make sure he doesn't die. I need to make sure he doesn't die._

Sora propped Dennis up in hiding and covered him with an old tarp—Dennis was barely conscious anymore, just mumbling softly in his sleep, eyes fluttering every now and then. The best place to get information was at a bar, right? At least...he could find a doctor. That was what he needed right now.

Licking his lips nervously, Sora ducked in through the swinging doors.

The bar was almost completely empty this early in the morning. There was only one person sitting in the far corner, a skinny shape draped in a hood and cowl so that Sora couldn't see their face. Then there was the barkeeper, woman of average height with her dusty blonde hair in a bun and her spectacles sliding down her nose.

She looked up when Sora wandered to the counter, and her eyes narrowed slightly at his tunic. It was still the style and color of a Zarkanian servant, which wouldn't be looked at kindly, but it wasn't like he had the time or ability to change.

“We don't serve underage,” she said, looking him up and down.

“I'm not here for alcohol,” Sora said. “I—I need to know where I can find a doctor. I have a...friend. He's really hurt. I need someone who can take care of him.”

The woman blinked, eyes fixing on Sora's for a moment. Sora bated his breath—this could be the moment of truth, here. If someone thought he was lying, he could get sold out to the priests, Roger would find out where his tortured servant had gone, and both of them would be dragged back to who knew what fate.

The door to the back room of the bar opened, and both he and the barkeep looked towards it. A tall woman with her red bangs rolled up over her forehead appeared, her tunic hugging her body a little snugly.

“Aki,” the barkeep said. “Kid says he needs a doctor.”

The woman—Aki—blinked as her eyes fell on Sora. Her eyes narrowed too.

“Don't they have doctors in the temple?” she said, her voice more than a little poisonous.

“I can't go to the temple,” Sora said. He stepped forward, and her hand twitched to the blade at her hip. He put both of his hands up—he didn't need a weapon to kill her, but he didn't want to have to defend himself. He swallowed, wondering if his hands were shaking or if he was imagining it. “Please.”

Aki looked him over. Her hand still rested on her pommel, as though ready to slice him through in a second. Aki's eyes flickered to the barkeep. The woman shrugged, and Aki looked at Sora again.

“Show me,” she said hand sliding off of her blade. “But if this is some kind of prank, I won't be laughing.”

Sora breathed out in a rush—a weight he hadn't known was on his shoulders vanished and he felt light, as though he had just adjusted his own gravity.

“Hurry, please, he's—he's doing badly.”

He scurried from the bar. Aki did not run, but her long strides were enough to keep up with him as he lead her out of the bar and down into the web of alleys where he had hidden Dennis.

If there _was_ some kind of deity up there, it was feeling generous today. Dennis's hiding place hadn't been touched, and Sora jogged over to tug the canvas away.

He heard Aki's sharp intake of breath. Dennis looked pretty awful, yeah—even with his back against the wall, which had the most damage, his arms were covered with scores of cuts and small puncture wounds, and burn marks littered his torso where his shirt had been ripped.

“Goddess, you weren't lying,” she said. She hurried forward, dropping to one knee beside Dennis's limp body. She pressed two fingers to the side of his neck.

Sora hovered nervously while she checked his pulse, lifted his chin a bit to check his breathing and tried to get a look at his eyes.

“What in goddess's name happened?” she said.

“Please, you have to help him, I'll explain. I need to—he has information that will help the rebellion.”

Aki's eyes flashed to Sora, and for a moment, Sora actually stepped back.

Then she blew out once.

“Help me carry him,” she said. “Back to the pub.”

“I-I can do it.”

Now that he was in the presence of someone that could actually take care of Dennis, he felt flustered and winded. He didn't even bother to worry about showing off his Blessing to a stranger, he needed to make sure Dennis got there safely.

Aki gasped softly again as Sora carefully got Dennis to float, manipulating his gravity just enough so that he was suspended. He pulled him under the arms.

Aki, at least, didn't seem the type to ask unnecessary questions. Sora liked her already. She just stood up and led the way down the alley, back to the pub. She held the doors open for Sora, then took him back to the back room.

“Hale, don't let anyone disturb me until I say so, I'm going to have to be doing field surgery.”

The barkeep nodded in response, and then Sora, Dennis, and Aki were in the back room, and Aki shut the door behind them.

“Hold him there for a moment,” she said.

Sora waited while Aki strode into the room—it was pretty big, but very plain with chipped wooden walls and creaky, warped floors. A slightly raised dais like a stage sat at the far end, and the only other item of note was a table, which was currently covered in what looked like scrolls and maps and things.

Aki had no time for ceremony. She swept all of the papers off of the table in a giant swoop. She grabbed at a canvas folded on the floor and flapped it out, turning it over and flinging it over the table. Then she beckoned for Sora, and Sora pulled Dennis through the air to the table.

“Lay him on his stomach—carefully, carefully—his back looks like it needs the most attention first—fucking hell, who did this to him...?”

“Roger,” Sora said.

Aki's eyes flashed at Sora, her mouth briefly parting with shock. But she got right back to the task at hand, and helped Sora situate Dennis on his stomach, turning his head gently and tucking a small roll of canvas under his temple. Sora released his altered gravity slowly until he laid on the table.

“Make yourself useful—get all of this crap on the floor out of the way.”

Sora normally didn't like being told what to do, but this was an emergency. He dropped down to the floor to gather up all the maps and and scrolls. Some of them looked kinda...ominous, actually. Like a drawing of the temple, with red marks along some of the walls, and he caught a few scribbles about the arrival and departure of certain important food deliveries from outlying territories...

 _Oh demons,_ he thought. _Did I actually stumble on the rebellion?  Is there a god out there after all?_

No time to think about that. He gathered everything up and laid them down in the corner away from the table so that Aki wouldn't trip on anything. When he stood back up, dusting off his arms, Aki was already getting to work.

“Come over here,” she said, and Sora jolted to attention, scurrying back to the table. “Hold the light.”

She gave him a small oil lamp, and he held up up over Dennis to help her see what she was doing. She had a huge bag on the floor beside her, face tight as she examined his wounds.

“He's been poisoned,” she said.

Sora's heart leaped.

“You mean—he's dying?”

“No. I don't think it's fatal. Check his lips for me.”

Sora ducked down and looked at Dennis's lips.

“Um, they're grayish...more than the rest of his skin.”

“Any visible purple colored veins around his lips?”

“No.”

“He'll live, but he's not going to enjoy it.”

Sora straightened back up, holding the oil lamp again. Aki was examining Dennis's arms, looking at some of the small puncture wounds—most of which were ringed with small, blueish circles.

“Fharr root,” she said, grimacing. “And a very high concentrate.”

“What's that?” Sora said. He actually probably shouldn't be asking questions, but he was trembling a bit and he needed to talk to get rid of the uncharacteristic anxiety.

“Hallucinogen. It enhances the senses, especially tactile.”

Sora felt his heart drop out. So Dennis was injected with something that enhanced his sense of touch...and then brutally _tortured_...making all of his pain double. Sora felt like he was going to throw up.

“It'll have mostly passed through his system by now; without another dose he'll be fine. It's non-addictive.”

Sora thought maybe Aki was talking like this to keep _him_ calm, and he felt a little miffed about it. H-he was going to be fine. Dennis was the one who was hurt, after all. Sora could handle this. He could handle a bit of blood.

Aki grit her teeth at his horribly torn up back, next.

“I'm going to need water.”

She snatched the oil lamp from Sora's hands.

“Go to Hale and tell her I need a bucket of cold water, and a clean rag.”

Hale was the barkeep, right? Sora didn't even nod, he just bolted back to the door and through it. He stumbled against the door that blocked off the bar, making Hale's eyes flick up with a jump.

“W-water,” Sora said, his voice choked. “We need a bucket of water and a clean rag—”

Hale reached silently under Sora's vision and lifted up and bucket with a rag already thrown over the side. She passed it to Sora over the counter—she must have been used to Aki needed it, being so prepared. Sora mumbled out a thank you and pushed back through the door.

Aki snatched the bucket and gave Sora the oil lamp back. She dunked the rag into the water, making it splash over the sides, and then pressed it to Dennis's back gently. Dennis's eyes flashed open and he hissed, his fingers digging into the canvas.

“Sh, sh, sh,” Aki murmured soothingly. “You're okay. You're fine. You're safe. I'm here to take care of you.”

Her voice was immensely calming, even though Sora still felt like he was choking. Dennis's eyes, though, were wild, and for a moment, he tried to force himself upwards. He immediately screamed and his arms gave out. Aki kept murmured.

“It's okay. You're safe. No one is hurting you. My name is Aki Izayoi. I'm a doctor. I'm just cleaning your wounds. I'm going to help you.”

Dennis didn't seem able to speak. His mouth opened and closed, eyes full of tears. A whispery voice came out of his throat, so quiet that Sora couldn't hear right away. He tried again.

“I don't know,” he whispered. “I don't know where he went. I'm sorry. I don't know.”

“Shhh, it's okay.” Aki said. “My name is Aki Izayoi, and I'm a doctor. I'm just cleaning your wounds. No one else is going to hurt you. You don't have to tell me anything.”

“She's telling the truth, it's okay, you're safe,” Sora said. “I took you out of the temple. You're not in the temple anymore.”

Dennis's eyes flickered towards Sora, but he didn't seem to be in the right angle to see him. He let out a soft, broken whine, eyes closing again.

“You're safe,” Sora said again. “You're safe, Dennis.”

Aki's shoulders jolted. She looked up at Sora, pausing briefly with her shock.

“Did you say...?” she started.  Then she shook her head, muttering something about ‘not now’ and went back to work.

It took what felt like hours, but Aki finished cleaning Dennis's wounds. A few of the cuts were so bad that she had to sew them up, numbing the area first with a soft prick of a needle. Dennis screamed at that, flailing as though he were being given another dose of the hallucinogen. But Aki and Sora were able to talk him back down into quiet, and Aki finished working on him. She had Sora use his Blessing to help him sit up so she could attend to his torso wounds without making him lie on his back.

Finally, after what felt like centuries of work, Dennis was sleeping soundly, stitched and bandaged up, and lying peacefully on his stomach.

Aki looked up again, her face sweaty, strands of hair stuck to her cheeks. Sora's hands were trembling around the oil lamp. His arms hurt from holding it up for so long, and it was honestly a wonder that he hadn't just dropped it.

It took Aki pulling the lamp gently from Sora's fingers for him to finally let go of it and let his hands drop to the side, feeling every part of him trembling.

“I would offer you a chair if there were any,” Aki said. She herself let out a huge sigh as she let herself collapse onto the raised dais as a makeshift seat. “Sit down. You need to rest, too.”

Sora's legs felt like lead, but he walked around the table and collapsed onto the dais beside her. He just stared at his knees for a while. His cheeks felt hot and his brain felt fried. That had been the most stressful few hours of his life.

Aki pulled a canteen off of her hip and took and long swig. Sora had no sooner realized his own throat was parched before she pushed it against his chest.

“Drink. You worked hard today.”

Sora hesitated awkwardly before wrapping his fingers around the canteen. Whatever was in that canteen, it was way stronger than anything he was allowed to have at the temple, and he almost choked on it for a moment. He felt like there was smoke coming out of his ears after he finished his swig, but his throat didn't feel dry anymore.

“The hell was that?” he said.

She just smirked tiredly, accepting the canteen back and replacing it on her belt.

“When you watch enough people die on your table, you start needing something a little stronger.”

Sora pawed briefly at his tongue as though to rub the taste away.

“Now. What's your name, kid, and what are you doing hauling a servant out of the temple to find the rebellion?”

Sora ran his tongue over his lips before answering.

“My name is Sora,” he said. “Sora Shiunin.”

Aki raised an eyebrow at the name 'Shiunin.' Of course she knew what it meant, it was a generic surname given to the staircase kids.

“You're an acolyte, not a servant, then,” she said, looking him up and down. “What makes a boy like you want to betray your god? Or is this some elaborate trap?”

“It's not a trap,” Sora said. He actually felt offended. “I...I don't believe in gods.”

“Well, unfortunately, they seem to believe in us.”

“I don't think the Emperor is real.”

Aki pursed her lips, waiting. It wasn't exactly the reaction he had been expecting—and why was he explaining everything to her anyway?

 _She fixed up Dennis without asking a single question, or even asking for money_ , Sora thought. His gut was rarely wrong, and his gut said to trust her.

“Listen,” he said. “This is going to sound crazy but—but there's like two different countries inside the temple. There's the Outer Priests, who really believe in everything and are super zealous, and there's the Inner Priests, who are all conniving, political shitheads.”

He licked his lips again. He could go for another sip of whatever Aki was packing right about now.

“The Inner Priests are keeping secrets from us. Something's really wrong—Edo won't see it, but if he doesn't, he's going to die.”

“Edo?” Aki said.

A brief pale washed over her face.

“You're talking about Phoenix. The High Priest.”

Sora nodded. He didn't like the way that Aki's face twisted up there, but he had to keep talking.

“Edo has no idea what Roger's up to,” he pushed on. “I—I don't know what to say because you look like you want to kill something right now, but Edo's not a bad guy. He's just really, really misguided.”

“He's one of the reasons my best friend is dead,” she said dryly. “Along with quite a few others. Jack Atlas ring any bells, kid?”

Sora's stomach dropped.

He had been right. Somehow, he had stumbled over the rebellion itself. Talk about coincidence. Maybe there was a god.

He swallowed, fumbling for his words for a moment.

“He doesn't know,” he said, lamely. “He doesn't know—”

“What, that his religion is fucked up, and that he's destroying a lot of innocent lives?”

“He doesn't know that he's being used!”

Aki stopped in the middle of her rant. Her eyes slid slowly to meet Sora's. For a moment, her face was completely neutral. Then she sighed, closing her eyes.

“Talk,” she said. “Keep it concise. What do you want?”

Sora's heart thrummed in his chest.

“If Edo knew that he was just being used by the Inner Priests to keep their power, if he knew that the Emperor was being tortured for their own political gain, he would turn on them.”

He licked his lips again.

“You want to take down Zarkania? How about a civil war between the priests themselves?”

Aki's lips parted into a small o. She stared at Sora in a new light, and Sora made sure to hold her gaze for as long as possible. Then she huffed.

“So,” she said. “You want to tell Phoenix the truth. That he's a pawn and that his religion is fake. What happens then?”

Sora opened his mouth. He stopped.

_If Edo finds out it's all fake...?_

He thought about the way Edo's voice lifted with awe when he preached, when he talked about the Emperor. The reverence shining in his eyes when the Emperor passed and he bowed to him. That light hearted, calm smile of absolute faith.

Sora might take all that away from him. Would he even be the same Edo?

He closed his eyes and shook his head. No. Better disillusioned than dead. And...and Edo truly believed that the Emperor was a god. If he found out that Roger and the others were torturing him... _using_ the Emperor... _faking_ the Emperor's decrees and using him as their own political pawn...

“He'll turn on them,” Sora affirmed again, looking up at Aki. “He will.”

“Did you ever think that he might already know, and he's putting on an act?”

Sora snorted.

“Edo doesn't know how to act,” he said. “Besides. I've spied on him enough. He's clueless. If he ever learned the truth, if he had a reason to go after Roger, he would. And a lot of the priests like him. They'd rally around him if he asked. Roger's scared of him because of that.”

Aki pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at Sora for a long, long moment.

Then a half smirk broke her face.

“I like you,” she said. “You're pretty devious.”

Sora huffed.

“Is that what you say to someone that brings you important information?”

Aki just laughed slightly. She stood up, her knees cracking.

“Actually, we already knew that the Emperor was a pawn,” she said.

Sora's stomach dropped.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Aki's head tilted towards Sora. “He passed through here not too long ago, after all.  In fact...I had a feeling I knew what you were doing here already.  ‘Dennis’ is the name the Emperor gave us, of the one who set off the firebomb to help him escape.”

Sora just stared at her, his mouth hanging open. He... _what_?

Then his heart quickened. The Emperor _did_ escape on his own, then. He had found his way here, and...and where was he now? Sora almost asked. He decided against it—the less he knew about the Emperor the better.  Dennis had known that, Sora thought with a shudder.

He stood up, too.

“Dennis is my proof for Edo,” he said. “So...”

“I don't want to let you out of my sight yet,” said Aki, talking over him. “No offense, kid. But you know where we are now, and I can tell by the look in your eyes that you've figured out I'm one of the rebellion's leaders.”

One of the leaders? No, Sora wasn't that much of a mind reader to have figured that out, but he had figured out the rebellion bit. He kept his mouth shut, though.

“I want to trust you, because I like you, and you seem like a good kid,” Aki said. “But I have to be cautious. You stay here with us.”

“But—I have to get to Edo! I have to tell him!”

“Without Dennis being in good condition, he can't tell Edo anything. Besides. Can you be sure he'll believe the word of a servant?”

Sora ground his teeth. She had a point. What could he...

Ah!

He dug in his pocket, pulling out the slightly crumpled pieces of paper that he had taken from below ground. He had made sure to take them out of his robe pockets before discarding the robes.

“I found these underground,” he said. “Let me send them to Edo.”

Aki frowned. She plucked the papers from his hands and looked them over.

“Notes for what kind of runes to put on the Emperor...? And...and medical notes on...”

She frowned, her face going slightly ashen. Clearly, she understood more of the shorthand than Sora had.

“If I tell him that I found these underground, and that he needs to look, that might at least pique his curiosity, and he'll find out on his own,” Sora said. “That should get the ball rolling, and I can still stay where you can see me.”

Aki looked hesitant. Sora knew this was a gamble. She could think that he was lying, that these papers were some kind of code, but...he had just pulled them out of his pocket. He couldn't have written them up while helping with Dennis or anything.

Finally, Aki nodded.

“Write a short note on the back,” she said. “I'll be reading it to make sure it's not dangerous for us. Then I'll send a falcon.”

Sora's chest rushed with relief.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

She found a quill and an inkwell in her bag, and then Sora dropped down to the ground to scribble something out. He signed off with a small sigil, his own personal manufacture. Edo would know that it came from him.

He swallowed as Aki took the papers and walked towards the door to get the falcon.

He hoped...this was enough....

* * *

Edo didn't get falcons—not directly to him, anyway. Messages were left with either Sora or one of his other attendants, and delivered to him when possible. He was too busy to wait for a falcon to drop something off. Then again, Sora had been MIA yet again, so he wasn't collecting Edo's mail. Where _was_ that boy? It wasn't unusual behavior, but considering his recent conversation with him, Edo was getting a little worried about where he might be. Roger would use any excuse to take a stab at him, so Sora snooping in places he shouldn't could be disastrous, especially right now. Roger was already using the Emperor's disappearance to sow uncertainty towards Edo's leadership—it was, of course, Edo's and the Outer Priest's duty to run security on festivals. Damn that man and his damn politics...

But either way, what was a falcon doing in his window?

Edo blinked as he approached, considering the bird from a distance first. It wasn't one of the temple birds—it was more ruffled, with a mismatched color scheme that indicated mixed breeding, rather than the sleek, elegant birds of the temple aviary.

But there was a thick message tied to its ankle, and it was waiting patiently for him, so it was a well trained bird. He reached for the message, and it automatically lifted its leg for him to untie it. As soon as he was done, the falcon flapped its wings, making Edo jump, and took off, disappearing off into the sky. Edo briefly glanced out the window, trying to see where it went, but it was already gone.

He frowned as he turned from the window to unscroll the message.

His heart seized and his blood ran cold.

This was...this was Roger's handwriting...and was that...

A drawing of the Emperor, only, his torso was bare and...and these were sketches for _runes_ . Blood runes. Highly experimental ones, they were—sweet demon lord, these were _mind_ control runes. Experimental and _completely_ illegal for how dangerous they were to psychology _and_ physiology. Edo's mouth felt dry.

“ _Roger's up to something,”_ Sora had said.

Up to—this? Roger was doing _this_ to the Emperor? N-no, this had to be some kind of fake, something to make him confused and fracture the clergy. I-it was certainly a passable forgery, though...

He ruffled to the second sheaf. And if his blood had been ice before, it was nothing compared to now. This shorthand—no, impossible. Some of it was generic medical shorthand, but others were in a variant that only trained priests of the highest rank should know. Not just anyone could learn it. T-this was real?

And what the shorthand was talking about...

“Effects of...demon blood...in human physiology...h-hybrids...?” Edo said, his voice stumbling over the words.

Was...was Roger...

Was Roger experimenting with the Emperor's blood on other human beings?

N-no, impossible. You couldn't just take the Emperor's blood. You couldn't even touch the Emperor.

Edo was trembling so badly that the papers slipped from his fingers. They twisted and fluttered to the ground before he could catch them, landing with their backs facing up.

There was a note on the back. That was Sora's handwriting—Sora's sigil.

_I found these in the chambers underground. That's where the secrets are kept. Please, you have to have a look for yourself. I can't come back yet, but I promise I'm doing what I can. -Sora._

Edo had to press a hand to his mouth to stop the bile from rising out of it. Emotions struggled for dominance. Uncertainty. Fear. Nervousness. Disbelief.

Anger. Blinding, deafening, rage.

He had to confirm. He knelt down, pressed his fingers to the words Sora had written. If they hadn't been written too long ago, he would still be able to catch a hint of emotion...

He felt...tight nerves, and a trembling heart, a dry mouth sort of uncertainty and desperation. It felt like Sora. The sigil was right, too. There was really no denying it. Sora had found these, and Sora had thought they were important.

Edo couldn't even feel angry to know that Sora had been snooping after Edo had told him not to.

He lifted his eyes to the door, towards the Inner Temple.

_Please, you have to have a look for yourself._

Edo swallowed through a dry throat, feeling dizzy.

 _I have to confirm_ , he realized, desperation gnawing at his chest. _I...I have to see if this is real._

 


	21. TWENTY ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Memories of Dust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T08xuOatEZk)

****Trees began to appear slowly, first. They were thin, spindly things that had thought to try their luck sneaking out into the wide, open sun of the meadows. When they reached the base of the actual forest, however, the wagon rolled to a stop, startling Yuya out of his daydreaming.

Tsukikage looked back at Reiji, who had been sitting silently with his book until now. He marked the page with a thin leaf, and tucked it into one of his vest pockets before standing up and leaning to look through the front of the wagon.

“We’ll have to disembark here,” he said. “Unless we want to take the main roads, which is another day and a half travel around the forest to get there and practically suicide if we don’t want to be caught, the wagon won’t fit through the trees.”

“So what, you’re just going to leave it here?” Crow said.

Reiji was already climbing out the back, turning around to offer a hand to Yuya to help him hop down.

“We stole it anyway,” Sawatari said, winking as he crawled past Crow to climb out himself. “Might as well leave it for someone else to steal back—leave some good fortune for someone else!”

Crow looked miffed, but he followed out of the wagon. Reiji leaned in to grab some of the bags, passing them to Sawatari. Tsukikage was at the front of the wagon, unhooking Armageddon.

“Should I carry anything?” Yuya said.

“Armageddon will carry most of our supplies. You focus on taking care of yourself. We have yet a long trek ahead of us,” said Reiji.

Yuya felt kind of useless just standing there watching them unload, but then, Yuto made a soft, excited sound at the back of Yuya’s head.

“ _It’s the forest,”_ he said, his voice lifting with excitement. _“Yuya, can you smell it?”_

Now that Yuto was pointing it out, he could. Yuya stopped where he was, just breathing in the thick, heady scent of…what was that? It was so cool and crisp.

“ _That’s pine! And redwood!”_ Yuto said, excited. _“Yuya, we’re close—we’re really close to where I came from. I remember the smell.”_

A bird cry echoed from the woods.  It was a haunting keen, and Yuya shuddered _—_ but Yuto yelped with delight.

“ _That’s a redkite, Yuya,”_ Yuto said, practically thrumming. _“I remember the redkites—Yuya, everyone, I’m home!”_

Yuto’s cheer was infectious, and Yuya found himself smiling. He could feel the other two’s happiness too; even Yuuri mumbled a grudging _“good for you”_ that was more sincere that most of the things he said.

Yuto vibrated with impatience, so Yuya walked around the wagon to see the forest.

Everything outside the temple was incredible to him after so long, of course...but he felt his breath stolen immediately by the trees.

They were huge—thick, perfectly straight pillars in a deep red-brown. A few thick, bulbous trees with twisting branches twined in between the mighty pillars, which loomed at least a hundred feet over Yuya’s head, their leaves leaning down over the meadow and casting a shadow even across part of the wide-open fields. The roots were huge and arched, bubbling up out of the ground and making some kind of natural twisting staircase or path that tangled between the trees.  Brush tried to poke between the roots in rare patches of sunlight, while the ground itself was covered in a thick layer of some kind of smooth, spotted leaves, with a few white flowers poking up mostly along the edge of the forest.

It was dark inside, and the trees were so thick that it was hard for him to see very far. He caught the movement of a few animals, and a few more of those keening calls that Yuto had identified as redkites. Yuto’s memory showed him a beautiful, elegant hawk with thin brown wings and bright red plumage across their chest and under their wings, with a long, majestic black and white striped tail.

The faint huffing sound of Sawatari heaving something over his shoulder finally dragged Yuya’s eyes away from the woods. He should be helping somehow…

Sawatari, however, was tying the last bag to Armageddon’s pack already. Even the giant horse seemed dwarfed by this incredibly ancient forest. Yuya caught Armageddon’s shiny eyes looking in his direction. He shuddered, remembering all the times he had been around animals, about the mare that had tried to kick him and the cat that had almost bitten half his fingers off. Animals didn’t like him.

He skirted around Armageddon’s sight and over to Crow.

“What about the crates?” Crow asked Reiji.

“Empty. I sold the contents off already. We should be ready to go.”

Crow looked down as Yuya walked over to him. He smiled, and instead of feeling the urge to duck his head for once, Yuya found himself smiling back.

“You doing all right so far?” he said.

“Yeah,” Yuya said.

“Well we got real lucky with the wagon for this bit, but we’re going to have to do a bit of walking. Can you hang in there?”

“Yup,” Yuya said, standing straight. He would keep up, and he definitely wouldn’t complain. “Do…do we know the way to Corkoro?”

“This _is_ Corkoro,” Sawatari said with a laugh, sauntering over. “Corkoro just means ‘oldwoods’ in the forest tongue, my friend.”

“Really?” Yuya said, eyes widening as he turned towards Sawatari. “But we’re looking for the people, right? Where’s their town?”

“They don’t like to be found,” said Reiji. He stood near Armageddon, one hand on the horse’s neck as he stared out into the forest. “Don’t worry, Yuya. They’ll already know that we’re here. The Corkoro know everything that passes through their forest.”

“We basically just have to wander a bit until they decide they want to let us in,” Crow said. “Don’t worry, though, Yuya—I have rebellion allies out here, too. We’ll probably find them first. They’re less sneaky.”

Tsukikage made a soft, breathy sound that might have been a laugh. Crow and Yuya both looked up at him.

“Tsukikage agrees,” Sawatari said. Tsukikage signed something at Sawatari, and Sawatari laughed. “Tsuki says he can hear your friends already from here.”

Yuya stared—really? Tsukikage could hear that well? Crow let out a soft breath.

“ _You’re_ Corkoro,” he said, eyes widening.

Tsukikage might have been smiling, considering the twinkle in his eye, but with the mask over his face it was impossible to tell. He signed something towards Reiji, who nodded, and then Tsukikage hopped over one of the tree roots and just… _melted_ into the forest. Yuya couldn’t make heads or tails of it. The forest wasn’t that dark or thick with foliage for him to be able to just disappear, but…he was just gone. Yuya couldn’t see even the tiniest movement that looked like Tsukikage. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but he wasn’t too bothered.

“ _My people are talented,”_ Yuto said proudly. _“I would have learned how to do that too.”_

“Tsukikage will go ahead,” Reiji said. “He can find the village faster than we can, and make contact with the leaders there to see if they will give us entry. Meanwhile, we should get ourselves into the woods. We’re harder to follow that way.”

Reiji just tapped Armageddon with one finger, and the horse moved forward into the trees on its own. Reiji looked back at the other three and nodded. Then he too moved into the trees, with Sawatari on his heels. Crow gripped Yuya’s shoulder briefly and waited for him to start walking before he followed.

Just stepping under the canopy felt like a different world. The air tasted different in here. The smell that Yuto had called pine and redwood filled Yuya’s nose, along with the scent of flowers and leaves and a few rotting stumps. The ground sprung slightly under his feet with a slight bounce, and the leaves of the ground cover made very pleasing swishing sounds as he shuffled through.

Yuto buzzed with excitement, pointing out every flower, every mushroom growing along the side of a tree, every boulder covered with moss. He was remembering all the names of everything he had known when he was a child, and he had to share every new thought. Yuya didn’t remember half of the things he said about medicinal properties, things that were safe to eat, but at least he knew that if something went wrong, Yuto would know how to take care of them out here.

“ _Yeah, so we can ditch the others, right?”_ Yuuri said. _“Yuto knows the ins and outs of this place. We can go straight to Rayglen on our own now.”_

“ _We still don’t know where it is,”_ Yugo said.

“ _I want to see the village!”_ Yuto said indignantly. _“I could get to see my home!”_

Yuuri scoffed slightly, and muttered something about being only joking. Yuya smiled as Yuto’s chatter picked back up in his head. It was nice hearing Yuto so happy and excited for once.

It was nice, too, to fill the silence. Because besides the distant cry of another redkite or two and the plodding of Armageddon making his way over the roots that warped the ground, though, the forest was quiet.

Crow muttered something under his breath, helping Yuya clamber over a tree root.

“What was that?” Yuya said.

Crow shook his head.

“Nothing,” he said. “I just…it’s so quiet. It’s making me nervous.”

Yuya grimaced, and for a second, Yuto fell quiet in his head.

“That’s…probably me,” he said. “I told you, animals don’t like me. They’re probably avoiding wherever I am.”

Crow made a soft huffing sound that made Yuya think that he didn’t quite believe it, but Yuya had seen enough falcons go mad when he got close to them to know that his very presence was terrifying for animals. They knew what he was, and they were scared.

Yuya slid down another tree root and onto the springy ground. It was a pretty enjoyable feeling, honestly. He didn’t feel the least bit tired yet. Still, his stomach gurgled softly at him. He was getting too used to having regular meals that now he was getting hungry more often. He’d wait, though—they’d probably stop for a break or something. No reason to make everyone stop now.

Time didn’t seem to pass normally in here. The light stayed almost exactly the same for hours. There wasn’t much of a breeze underneath the canopy, and without any sound, it was like the world around them had frozen in time. Reiji lead them on a weaving, unpredictable path. Mostly he just seemed to be looking for places where Armageddon could comfortably make his way through, but Yuya supposed the back and forth was to make them harder to track, too.

… _fuck…’em up…trespassing…bet they’re…_

Yuya froze in the middle of his step at the faint thought that spiraled through his head. Crow swore as he almost ran into Yuya, grabbing Yuya by the shoulders to steady both of them.

“What’s wrong, Yuya?” he said.

Yuya had definitely heard something—there was a person nearby, and they were having angry thoughts. He scanned the canopy, the faraway trees. Ahead of them, Sawatari and Reiji hadn’t noticed yet that Yuya had stopped walking. Yuya felt Crow raise a hand, and realized that Crow was about to shout out to them.

_I'll just shoot the ones at the back right now._

Yuya heaved backwards against Crow, making Crow's breath catch in his throat. Crow stumbled, tripped over a root, and went tumbling backwards towards the ground. Yuya lost his balance too—his arms wheeled, just as he heard the faint twang of a bow and—

He gasped as the arrow just barely managed to hit his leg while he tumbled, burying its head into his thigh. A cry ripped out of his throat in spite of himself—oh god, that hurt a lot. He hit the ground then, right on top of Crow, who was, thankfully, unharmed.

“Yuya!” Crow shouted. He struggled to sit up, but Yuya couldn't get himself to move off of him. The pain of the arrow thrummed through his leg. Ahead, he heard Sawatari swear, and Armageddon let out a fierce whinny. Yuya's head spun. They were under attack, and he didn't know from where—oh, god, who was after them?

_That no good—! I told him not to shoot! I'll kill him, that stupid greenhorn wannabe punk—_

Yuya saw, out of the corner of his eyes, Reiji whipping around like a blur of black and red from his cloak and scarf whistling around him, retrieving his pistol and aiming it out into the trees. He squeezed off a single shot, the echo ricocheting off of trees and clattering around between Yuya's ears. The pain and shock from the arrow was starting to recede enough for him to move, and he managed to roll himself off of Crow, resting on the knee of his uninjured leg. Crow shot to his feet and gripped Yuya's shoulders.

“Fuck, where did they come from—Yuya, oh goddess, you got hit—”

“I'll be okay,” Yuya tried to reassure him—Crow seemed to have forgotten that Yuya could heal. If anyone should be taking any hits as a meatshield, it should probably be him. He winced as Crow helped him limp to his feet, though—putting weight on the leg with the arrow sticking out of it made pain ripple up through his knee. He wouldn't be running like this for a little bit...

“I'll carry you, come on,” Crow said, trying to beckon to get Yuya on his back

_Damn, I missed—oh, shit, fuck, here he comes—_

“T-they weren't supposed to shoot at us, it's okay, Crow,” Yuya tried to babble. He hadn't explained his ability to hear destructive thoughts yet, though, so Crow seemed to assume that he was in shock and talking nonsense.

And then a veritable roar shook the trees.

“ _I SAID PUT YOUR BOW DOWN, ANKOKUJI!”_

Crow froze, and Reiji hesitated with his pistol still aimed, Sawatari holding the neck of his lute like a bludgeoning weapon.

For a moment, there was silence. And then,

“Hold!” the deep, thrumming voice shouted again. It might have been one of the trees themselves shouting at them, Yuya thought. “Hold! You are currently surrounded—who is passing through our part of the woods?”

Yuya tightened his grip on Crow's sleeves, trying to just breathe. He needed to pull the arrow out of his thigh so that it could start healing, but he was too nervous to move. If he made any sudden moves, they might shoot again. Were they really surrounded? Yuya didn't hear too many thoughts...maybe the thoughts of about three or four people, at the most, nervous, skittering things that they were mostly trying not to think. Then there were the two loud voices, the one that had shot at them, and the one that had been angry about the shot.

After a few beats, Reiji answered.

“We are travelers, on our way to Corkoro,” he called into the trees. “Who am I speaking to?”

“If you would put your weapon down, we can have a talk,” the voice huffed.

“Considering you all, quite clearly, have weapons on us, I think I will keep mine where it is.”

The voice made a large harumph sound.

“Fine! Let us do this like men—I will reveal myself, and you will all keep your weapons towards the ground.”

Reiji blinked once. Then he slowly let his arm fall until the barrel of the pistol pointed towards the ground cover.

“Fair,” he said. His eyes flickered to Yuya and Crow, and he jerked his chin towards them.

Crow didn't listen to any of Yuya's mumbled protests, he just scooped Yuya up and carefully made his way across the space that had grown between them and the other two.

“Hold, Armageddon,” Reiji said, as the horse shifted. Armageddon nickered softly, his ears pointed towards the woods with a single minded focus, but he remained still.

Crow reached the other two and carefully let Yuya stand on his own again. Yuya shifted his weight to his other leg—demons, he wanted to get the arrow out...

“ _I don't like this,”_ Yuuri hissed.

 _“Yuto, is this the Corkoro?”_ Yugo asked.

“ _I-I don't know,”_ Yuto mumbled. _“I don't...remember everything...”_

“ _Leave him alone, all of us have trouble remembering,”_ Yuya said.

Yuya gripped onto Crow while he waited for the owners of the two angriest set of thoughts to appear. Only one of them did.

For a moment, Yuya thought it was a trick of the light. But then, no, that...that wasn't actually a pile of leaves. It moved, and Yuya realized with a start that it was some kind of curtain, something that just looked like the foliage, but wasn't.

A _huge_ figure emerged. He was as tall as Reiji but perhaps twice as broad, his arms as thick as the tree branches up above, with a big, square face and a large nose that was somewhat ruddy, his black hair poofing out over the top of his red headband.

And...and something about him was familiar.

The young man grunted as he emerged—he had the biggest bow that Yuya had ever seen in his hands, but he was pointing it towards the ground, and it didn't have an arrow notched into it. He approached somewhat slowly, and stopped at a distance, eyes fixed on Reiji.

His mind roiled with frustration. This was the one that had been angry that the other one had shot, Yuya thought. _Damn greenhorns, taking potshots at everything that moves, I'll have to set them straight when we get back—_

“Now,” he said, his voice a deep rumble. “Perhaps we can have a serious man-to-man conversation.”

“I agree,” Reiji said. “I am Reiji. These are my traveling companions: Shingo Sawatari, Crow Hogan, and Yuya. And you?”

But as soon as he said the name _Yuya_ , the other young man's jaw slackened. His dark eyes flickered towards the other three, his mouth actually dropped open slightly, and his bow slipped out of his fingers.

Yuya felt his heart clench as he met that dark-eyed gaze. He let go of Crow almost without thinking about it, taking a limping step forward. Crow reached for him.

“Yuya?” he said.

But Yuya was distracted. The other man's head had gone quiet, and it was just the two of them staring at each other.

“Y-Yuya?” he mumbled.

Yuya's throat caught. A memory, one he had lost the night that he had become one with the other three and their memories had all jumbled and fractured into barely memorable pieces, struggled to the surface. _A boy, tall for his age, scooping Yuya up under the legs to get him up on his shoulders, giving him that last bit of height he needed to reach one of the low hanging apples off the tree behind the blacksmith’s house..._

His breath caught for a second.

“Gongenzaka...?” he said, the name whispering to the top of his head.

Gongenzaka made a sound that was almost like choking. Then, before Yuya could make a move, or before anyone else could, Gongenzaka swept forward, dragging Yuya into a warm, almost suffocating embrace.

“Goddess, it's really you—I thought you were _dead—_ what _happened—_ ”

H-he was remembering, he was remembering parts of his life before the temple again, and all Yuya could do was dig his fingers into Gongenzaka's shirt and cry. Noboru Gongenzaka, the blacksmith's son who lived in the house next to his, the boy who blocked the rocks that village bullies had lobbed at Yuya's head while they made up mean rhymes about his oddly colored red eyes, Gongenzaka, who taught Yuya how to build a boat out of leaves and raced them with him in the river behind the fruit fields.

He would have stood there crying forever if his leg hadn't reminded him, very insistently, that he had been shot.

He gasped as he accidentally put weight on it, and Gongenzaka immediately released him.

“Shit,” he swore. “Hang on—you can explain later.”

He helped Yuya sit down on the ground, then took a look at his thigh. He made a rumbly sound of distaste.

“We should leave it there until we can bandage it,” he said. “Or you'll bleed out.”

“I can't,” Yuya mumbled.

Gongenzaka startled a bit at that, his mouth opening, as though to ask why. But Crow stepped forward then, taking Gongenzaka's attention back. Crow looked absolutely dumbfounded, and for a moment, his mouth just opened and closed, as though he wasn't sure what to ask first.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” he settled on. “And—and Gongenzaka, as in _Noboru_ Gongenzaka? Are you the one we've been in contact with in Eclipsine?”

Gongenzaka seemed to startle, and then recognition dawned over his face.

“Crow Hogan,” he repeated. “You're the new leader of the home resistance—but what on earth are you doing out here? No, wait—what is our password?”

Crow paused. Then he made a sign in the air as though painting with one finger, and said one word in a language that Yuya didn't know.

Gongenzaka nodded abruptly, and responded with a motion and a word of his own. Crow let out a heave of relief.

“It's okay,” Crow said, looking back at Reiji and Sawatari. “They're the branch resistance. Gongenzaka is the liaison that I've been in contact with since before the revolt.”

Gongenzaka nodded sharply.

“You'll have to accept my apologies about your reception,” he said, his voice rumbling with irritation. “I'm afraid some of these greenhorns are a bit... _overeager_.”

His eyes snapped towards the woods, and he rose up one fist over his shoulder. The signal seemed to mean something, because after a beat, a few more shapes appeared from other secret curtained foliage around the area. There were three of them: one of them was almost as large as Gongenzaka with a bow just as large, with his puff of pinkish-red hair cut shaggy over his eyes and a twisted sort of half grin on his face. That was the one that Yuya had heard, the one that had shot at him. The second was a smaller, more lithe young man with his long purple hair pulled back neatly from his eyes, his arms wrapped in bandages up to his fingers where he held a much smaller, more portable bow. He had a quiet mind, and clear, pale blue eyes that looked over the group, especially Yuya, with a sort of detached curiosity. The third young man didn't have any weapons at all, just a large sack over his back that looked filled with something lumpy, his orange and pink hair swooped over his freckled face and narrow eyes.

Reiji simply blinked at them as they joined Gongenzaka.

“‘Surrounded’?” he said.

Gongenzaka grunted.

“You have to bluff sometimes,” he said. “Priests have been coming farther into the woods lately. We have to be more careful.”

He jerked a thumb at his companions.

“Gen Ankokuji,” he said, pointing at the largest one. “Isao Kachidoki.” The purple haired young man inclined his head silently. “And Michio Mokota.” The freckled boy bowed, but then fumbled as his sack almost over turned over his head.

“Ankokuji will be _apologizing_ for his lack of discipline,” Gongenzaka said, glaring at the large young man over his shoulder.

“Thought y'all were dangerous,” Ankokuji said, not looking—or thinking—sorry at all. “Can't be too careful.”

“But you _can_ listen to your superiors, like a real man,” Gongenzaka practically snarled.

Ankokuji studiously did not respond or even look at Gongenzaka for that, so Gongenzaka just looked back to Yuya.

“Don't worry,” he said. “You'll be all right—we'll get you to the resistance base and get you fixed up. Then you can tell me everything that happened, and how you ended up here.”

Yuya grabbed for Gongenzaka's hand before he could stand up.

“You need to know now,” he said.

Gongenzaka blinked, looking confused. For a second, Yuya choked. He still only barely remembered Gongenzaka from his childhood but...but he was someone that made Yuya feel safe. He was someone that had always protected him...and...and even now, Gongenzaka was fighting. He was fighting for what he thought was right.

And that meant he was fighting against Yuya. He had to know the truth.

“The reason I'm here—the reason I'm traveling with everyone—” Yuya said. “It's because...Gongenzaka, it's because I'm the Demon Emperor, and I'm trying to find the goddess's champion so she can kill me.”

He forced himself to say it before he could stop himself, letting the words tumble out. Gongenzaka, for a moment, only stared. His mouth parted, eyes widened. Yuya heard the other three start to whisper, could hear the roil of their emotions in what Yuya had said.

“Yuya, this isn't the time to make jokes like that,” Gongenzaka rumbled, but Yuya could tell that he was shaken. He probably remembered, even better than Yuya did, what had caused their entire village to go up in flames. The crimson robes that had swept into town and destroyed everything.

“I'm not joking,” Yuya said. “C-Crow, please...tell him...”

Crow swallowed.

“That's why I'm with him, too,” Crow said. “I was coming to find you guys, so that you could help us find Corkoro, who could get us to Rayglen. He's the Demon Emperor, and he escaped the temple so that he could...”

Crow didn't seem to be able to find the words to say it.

Gongenzaka looked tense, his shoulders tight around his ears. His eyes met Yuya's with a mixture of tension and disbelief. Yuya decided there was really only one way to convince him.

He gripped the shaft of the arrow in his leg, and without letting himself think about it, ripped it free.

Gongenzaka actually shouted, reaching for Yuya's leg as though to put pressure on the wound. Yuya held his hand away.

“L-look,” he said.

The wound wasn't that bad in comparison to what his body normally had to deal with. He winced a little at the look of horror on Gongenzaka's face, but...slowly, the realization dawned in Gongenzaka's face, as he watched the wound knit itself back together in front of his eyes, until his skin was smooth and almost untouched.

Yuya felt tears bubble in his eyes when Gongenzaka met his gaze again, Gongenzaka’s face looking haunted. He swallowed.

“We'll...we'll bring you to base,” he said. “You can explain everything there.”

Yuya squeezed his eyes shut.

“Okay,” he whispered.

 


	22. TWENTY TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Road to Kouka Kingdom](https://youtu.be/KXjwOJXJGn0)

**** Yuya could hear the resistance base before they reached it—first from the clamor of thoughts, so thick that he couldn't parse single sentences from it, and then from the soft murmuring and the sounds of feet and a few lighter sounds like children's laughter.

The trees pulled away almost all at once—Yuya had to blink with surprise, because somehow, he hadn't seen the camp until they were walking right into it.

It wasn't much of a clearing, maybe a bit thinner with pillar trees than the rest of the forest, but that didn't seem to make too much of a difference for the people there. Canvas was stretched over arching tree roots to make rudimentary tents. Ropes were strung between trunks to hang laundry or more canvas to make more tents. Crates blended into the bases around trees, as a few people rummaged through them to gather piles of potatoes into a pot. Somewhere, smoke rose up between the trees, and Yuya could smell the faint, glorious scent of someone making stew.

_ “Ugh, can we have some of that?” _ Yugo said.

_ “Would you be quiet for even half a second?”  _ Yuuri said.

Children ran and ducked under branches—their sounds were even louder all of a sudden, as though there had been some kind of muffling veil around the whole place.

“The Corkoro have been very welcoming to us,” Gongenzaka said, beckoning them to follow into the camp. “They set up a barrier that greatly reduces our chances of being found—that is, if anyone can even get this far into the woods without running into traps, or oldwoods beasts.”

“Beasts?” Crow said, blinking.

Gongenzaka shrugged.

“Things like fleshvines, spiny wolves, the redwood sabercats...you didn't see any of them? That far into the woods and you didn't even get a glimpse?”

Sawatari went a bit white. Yuya ducked his head.

“Told you,” he mumbled. “The animals don't like me. Even the scary ones.”

Gongenzaka's face tightened a bit at that, but he didn't respond. He just put a gentle hand on Yuya's back, guiding him into the camp.

Michio immediately excused himself, running off towards the crate with his sack of food. Gongenzaka made a grab for Ankokuji's collar when he tried to sneak off, though.

“No, you're coming with to the council,” Gongenzaka grunted. “You can explain to them how you fired on uncertain targets against the express order of your squad leader like a man.”

“Is there a safe place my horse can stay?” Reiji asked quietly, drawing attention to himself.

Gongenzaka blinked for a moment, then he nodded.

“We have a small corral on the other end of camp. Isao can take you, then have you meet back up with the rest of us at the Council.”

Reiji inclined his head. Isao just nodded, then beckoned to Reiji silently. Reiji walked off with Armageddon, into the camp. Gongenzaka watched them go, then beckoned to the others.

“It's a fine horse,” he said. “Come on. The Council should already be meeting—I'm sure they'll want to hear from you.”

He led the way through the camp. A few people shouted out to him, and he waved and smiled at everyone they passed.

“You know everyone, huh?” Yuya said.

“It's my duty as a leader to,” Gongenzaka said.

Yuya had to smile. From what little he remembered of Gongenzaka, he hadn't changed. Always taking charge of the other kids in their little group of friends and making sure everyone was taken care of, always the one with the snacks and bandages, like a mom. Yuya's smile slipped, then, though. Because he remembered that those other friends, and...and his mother...were probably dead. Lost in the blaze.

Yuya felt tears bubbling in his eyes.

_ “Hey, Yuya, look!” _ Yugo said suddenly.   _ “Doesn’t that pile of fruit look kinda like a face?” _

Yuya blinked and looked at what Yugo was talking about.  He had to hide a faint snort as he realized, yes, it did look kinda like a face.

_ “Thank you, Yugo,” _ he mumbled.  He had been trying to distract Yuya from the bad memories...

A few kids scurried past, giggling, and Gongenzaka shouted at them to keep out of trouble, which just made them giggle more as they darted off and disappeared into the commotion of the camp again. They made their way around the trees and the tents and campfires—Yuya's stomach rumbled, and he put both hands over his stomach as though that would quiet it. He thought Crow might have noticed, but no one said anything, for which Yuya and his heated cheeks were glad.

Sawatari hopped up to walk beside Yuya, making Yuya jump.

“Yuya!” he said, eyes alight with that fire he only got when he was thinking about songs to write. “Can you tell me how you're feeling right now?”

“H-huh?”

“How you're feeling! You've been reunited with a long lost friend from the past, and both of you shared such a passionate embrace! That's the stuff of ballads—tell me more about you two. I want to write something.”

Yuya fumbled for words—what could he even say? He...he was kind of nervous about revealing just how little he actually remembered.

Luckily, Gongenzaka cut off Sawatari's enthusiasm.

“Here,” he said. “I thought so. They're already bickering.”

He made a low grumble, then hauled Ankokuji up ahead.

In front of them, there was a small clearing, a place in between roots and trees that was mostly level, and had been cleared of ground cover so that there was only a soft soil in an unevenly shaped circle. Inside the ring of soil, a handful of people sat in a circle on dusty old stools—one was standing and shouting at another, who stood up and shouted back, getting right into his face. A woman leapt to her feet, waving her hands as though trying to get them all to calm down, but neither seemed to be paying attention. Their thoughts were all a jumble, like a bunch of people shouting on top of those who were already shouting, and Yuya's head spun.

Gongenzaka hopped down off of the roots and into the circle of soil, then turned around to offer Yuya a hand in getting down. Sawatari made a noise of distaste when Gongenzaka completely ignored him, forcing him to scramble down on his own. Crow hopped down next. He looked irritated, already glaring at the so called council.

All of them stopped as soon as they saw Gongenzaka appear, and the woman looked sheepish. The only one of the four who hadn't stood up glanced back over his shoulder and cracked a smile.

_ “Well,” _ Yuuri observed dryly.   _ “This looks like a mess already.” _

“Bout time,” he groaned. He was an older man, much older than the others, his graying hair almost gone and clad in only a loose robe and sandals. “And I see you brought guests, Gongenzaka. New recruits?”

“Something else,” Gongenzaka said with a huff. He looked up as Isao appeared on the other side of the ring, gesturing to Reiji, who appeared over the roots and hopped down lightly himself. He fixed his glasses as he glanced over the gathered council members, then he walked around to join the others.

“So this is the council of the branch resistance?” Crow said, folding his arms. He didn't look impressed, but he didn't say it out loud.

“Everyone,” Gongenzaka said, turning his eyes to them. “This is Crow Hogan. The new leader of the home resistance.”

“Former,” Crow said, lips twitching down. “I left my post to Aki Izayoi and Shinji Weber for the time being.”

“What on earth for?” said the woman with the curly hair, eyes wide.

“We'll get to that,” Gongenzaka said, before Crow could answer. “Introductions.”

He pointed first to the old man still sitting.

“Chojiro Tokumatsu. Our most senior member on the Council.”

“Don't call me that, makes me feel old,” Chojiro said, but he grinned anyway, winking at them. Yuya ducked his head.

Gongenzaka pointed out each member in turn, starting with the woman with the curly hair, and the other two men who had been shouting.

“Melissa Claire, and these two who don't understand volume are Ishijima and Gallagher.”

Melissa waved with a bright smile on her face, but the other two simply scowled at them.

“And who are these, Gon?” the man called Gallagher said, looking at them over the tops of his darkened glasses. “Mr. Crow Hogan's got some interesting company with him.”

“My traveling companions are Reiji, Shingo Sawatari, and Yuya,” Crow said. He glanced at Yuya briefly. Yuya could almost tell the question before it was asked, so he just nodded. Crow looked a little pale, but he turned towards the council again, pulling Yuya gently towards him.

“And Yuya...is the Demon Emperor.”

Dead silence.

And then Chojiro let out a faint, hoarse laugh.

“Jokes are good to keep healthy, young man, but that's not generally the sort of joke that does that.”

“I-It's true,” Yuya said. “I'm looking for the goddess's champion so she can destroy me before I fully awaken on the new moon.”

The council all exchanged glances. Ishijima folded his large arms with a scowl, glaring at Gongenzaka.

“And you believe this?” he said. “When we let you join the council, young as you are, I thought we were trusting you to have a good head.”

Gongenzaka just grunted.

“Ankokuji here decided to be a bit trigger happy,” he said, shaking the surly silent man by the shoulder. “He shot Yuya in the leg. The wound sealed up on its own in a matter of minutes when the arrow was removed.”

“We...witnessed Yuya's transformation on the last new moon,” Crow said. He shuddered softly, and Yuya looked down at the ground. “There's no doubt that he's who he says he is.”

“Then what is he doing outside the temple?” Melissa said. “I mean, if you're the Emperor, why would you run away?”

“Because I don't want to hurt anyone,” Yuya said, his voice hoarse. “And...because that place was a prison.”

Gongenzaka glanced down at him then, looking concerned.

“I want to know how you got there in the first place,” he said. “What happened?”

“Do you know this boy, Gon?” Chojiro said.

Gongenzaka made a grunt of affirmation.

“We grew up together. In Hellebore.”

Everyone immediately looked away at the mention of the village, and Yuya shuddered. He didn't remember much, but he did remember the fires...

“I thought he was dead,” Gongenzaka said. “But...here he is.”

“You knew him, and you believe he's the demon?” Gallagher said. “Gon, boy, if you grew up with him, you'd be able to tell the difference between a boy and a demon, huh?”

Yuya's head was starting to hurt. Were they going to help, or not? He...he needed to get to the goddess, before it was too late. How could he convince them he was what he said he was...? How could he convince them of the danger?

“I wasn't the full demon before the priests took me from Hellebore,” he said. “But I am now...and I will become a monster that no one can stop by the next eclipse. I need to find the goddess's champion before then.”

Chojiro frowned, but Ishijima let out a cough.

“We don't have time for this wild imagination,” he said. “We are fighting a war out here, and without the support of Rayglen any longer.”

“It's the  _ truth _ , please,” Yuya said, but Ishijima held up a hand to silence him.

“Perhaps,” Reiji said suddenly, his voice catching the attention of the entire group despite it's softness, “I might offer a way to prove his story?”

“You?” Ishijima said.

“Who are you?” Gallagher said.

“My name is, as was stated by Crow Hogan, Reiji.”

“Reiji?” Melissa said, furrowing her brow. “That sounds familiar.”

“Considering Reiji is one of the most popular names in Shizenrei, that could be why,” Reiji said dryly. “If I may?”

No one raised an objection, so Reiji stepped forward, his cloak flying back off his shoulders so that his scarf was visible again, like a spot of blood beneath the black. He opened his palm towards the Council, and Yuya leaned forward to see what he was showing them.

“Are those...Reibulbs?” Chojiro said, standing up to get a better look, his knees cracking at the motion.

“As is traditional, may the goddess light the truth,” Reiji said.

“Reibulbs?” Yuya said.

“The Reianian priests used to cultivate them, before Zarkania destroyed the main temple and took over Shizenrei's capital,” Crow said, looking awed. “They're seeds.”

“For a very magically potent plant. One that, once swallowed, allows no falsehoods to pass their lips for several hours. You are welcome to ask a diviner to verify their authenticity.”

Melissa shook her head slowly.

“I'm a diviner, and those are real,” she said, sounded absolutely reverent. “I thought all of the Reiflowers were gone for good...and you just  _ happen  _ to have some seeds in your pocket?”

“We'll only need one, I think, then,” Reiji said, ignoring her statement. He plucked one from his palm and the rest disappeared under his cloak. He turned to Yuya, then, and Yuya jumped.

“Yes?” Yuya said.

“You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Yuya,” Reiji said. “I've heard that the sensation of being under the influence is...sometimes unpleasant.”

Oh—Reiji was asking him to swallow one. And then he just had to tell the truth. Would that convince them? They were all looking at him.

_ “Guys?” _ he thought gently at the others.   _ “What do you want to do?” _

If they did this, he’d have to talk about them, too.  This was their story as much as it was his.

_ “It’s all right,” _ Yuto said.

_ “Yeah, it’s...it’s okay!  Go for it.  If it’ll get them to listen to us...” _ Yugo said.

Yuuri however, hesitated for a long moment.

_ “Fine,” _ he said, finally.   _ “Fine, just...just do it.” _

Yuya swallowed.  He simply nodded at Reiji.  Reiji tipped the small white bulb into his hand. Yuya stared at it for a moment, running his tongue over his lips. Then, before he could think better of it, he tipped his head back and swallowed the bulb.

It was...kind of sweet. Oh. This was a weird feeling...it worked fast.

He blinked a few times. The world seemed...sharper somehow? And a little more sparkly. He found himself smiling without knowing why. When Gongenzaka took his arm and guided him gently into a sitting position, the sensation of Gongenzaka's hand on his elbow felt like small fireworks. Yuya giggled in spite of himself.

“Yuya?” Reiji said softly. “Can you tell me your name?”

Yuya blinked out of his strange giggly, giddy feeling. Right. He had to tell them all the truth, so that they would believe him and help him find the goddess's champion.

“My name is Yuya,” he said.

Reiji nodded.

“How old are you?”

“I think...fourteen...? I don't remember very well. I know I was just past nine when they took me. It's been about five years since then.”

“Who took you?”

“The Zarkanian priests. They came into my village and told my parents that I was special, and they wanted me to come to their school for special kids.”

Yuya was starting to feel dizzy. The sparkly feeling was fading. He just felt...sad. Tears prickled at his eyes. He could...remember them. He could remember the faces of his mother and father, more clearly than he ever had before. His mother had a huge belly laugh and blond hair in a ponytail, and she was always tickling him under the ribs and chasing him around the house while they laughed. His father had a kind, quiet smile, just a bit of stubble on his chin and his black hair all a mess. He was always fiddling with something—a new toy, something that moved and did extraordinary tricks with just clockwork, smiling as Yuya watched with wonder at the small clockwork animals that moved across the floor like real animals.

He bit hard into his lip.

“They said no,” he said. “So...so the priests came back...and lit everything on fire...and made me go...”

His eyes were bubbling with tears—everything felt so real, all of his emotions felt so powerful that he felt like he was choking on them. Crow put a hand on his shoulder, and Yuya automatically fumbled for his hand.

“Sh,” Crow said soothingly. “Sh. It's okay.”

Yuya could only see Reiji's eyes in that moment, could only feel Crow's hand on one shoulder and Gongenzaka's on the other. He stared at Reiji's eyes, which held his.

“Yuya,” he said softly. “Can you tell us what happened after the priests took you?”

Yuya's throat felt tight. He could hear the other three in his head shying back, muttering, scared. They didn't want to talk about it.

Yuya drew in a breath.

“Yes,” he said.

 


	23. TWENTY THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Puella In Somnio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYJ9wdes7Y4)
> 
> TW Warning: if you've read the tags on this story, by now I hope you should know what you're in for. However, please tread extra cautiously in this chapter, as it does involve abuse towards young children, and it was even somewhat distressing for me to write.

  _Five years previously_

He screamed until he didn't have any breath left for it, and even then, his voice echoed off of the stone walls of the dark, damp stone corridors.

“Demons above,” the priest swore, hauling Yuya by the arm down the hallway even as Yuya dug his heels in. His vision was blurred by tears, making the torches look like blotches of red against the black walls. “Does he ever _stop_?”

“He's been screaming all the way from Hellebore,” the priestess beside him said, her lip curling. “I'm surprised he has lungs left.”

“Let me go!” Yuya screamed. “Let me go—let me go!”

The priest that held him lifted a hand, as though to strike him, and Yuya flinched, curling his head in against his chest. The priestess, however, grabbed his arm, preventing him from swinging.

“Careful,” she hissed. “He's mortal yet. Just deal with it. We're almost there.”

The priest snarled at Yuya, and Yuya trembled, dangling from his grip. They dragged him the last few feet down the corridor, where the priestess retrieved a set of keys and unlocked the heavy iron door. Yuya squirmed in the priest's grip as he was dragged inside the tiny, cold stone room—it was a cell, but without any sort of bench or furnishings, and...and there looked to be a heavy metal trap door in the center of the floor. The priestess knelt down to unlock that one too, and then heaved it open with a huff of exertion. The hole yawned open, and Yuya screamed again.  Oh no oh no oh no _—_ were they going to put him in there?

“Demons,” the priest swore. He struggled with Yuya for a moment, dragging him to the edge of the hole. Before Yuya could do much more than scream and bat at his captor's hands, he was being dropped inside, dangling into the hole and—and even as Yuya tried to cling onto him, the man let go and Yuya screamed as he fell—

The ground was only feet away, and he gasped as he landed against a pile of hay, scratchy against his hands, one getting stuck under his fingernail and making him yelp.

“Maybe now you'll be quiet,” the priest growled down at him. And before Yuya could scream again, the door heaved shut over the top of him, leaving him in the pitch black. He choked on his own scream—oh goddess, no w-where was he? T-they weren't just going to leave him down here, were they??

Just when Yuya thought his mind would instantly snap from the terror, a small light flickered to life—and something in the corner of the cell moved. Yuya screamed again, scrambling back.

The boy just blinked at him, and raised an eyebrow.

“You're noisy,” he said. “Calm down.”

He looked about the same age as Yuya, perhaps around nine years old, and his face was eerily similar to Yuya's own—it was like looking into a strange, slightly warped mirror. He was a little more slender than Yuya, though. His wrists, peeking out from his slightly too small red tunic, were bony, and his fingers spindly. He had the sort of hollow cheeked look of someone who had never gotten quite enough to eat, a bony frame that suggested that he had never been well taken care of or expected to do much work. His eyes, in the faint, flickering light of the little oil lamp, were a deep magenta, and his dark purple hair looked as though it had been slicked back at one point, but was starting to fall apart, matted and tangled around his dirty face. Despite all of that, though, he sat tall with his head up, looking at Yuya down his nose. Like he was a prince, and even the situation wouldn't let him forget it.

Yuya blinked back frightened tears, licking his dry lips. H-he wasn't alone down here. Was that good or bad?

“H-hi,” he whispered.

The boy blinked at him again. Then he pursed his lips, and folded his legs underneath him on the bench that he seemed to have claimed for himself.

“They found you, then,” he said. “I knew you were close.”

“H-huh?”

“You're one of the other ones. I could sense you. Can't you sense me?”

“N-no.”

The boy blinked at him. Then his lip curled, and he looked away.

“I guess the other ones really are useless,” he said.

Yuya's panic was subsiding just a little bit. Now that he was no longer alone in the dark, and he wasn't getting dragged around in a wagon with his hands tied and a blindfold over his eyes, he could start to maybe think about what was going on.

“W-what's your name?” he said.

“Doesn't matter,” the boy said, sniffing.

Yuya frowned. That wasn't a very good answer.

“I'm Yuya,” he said.

The boy didn't look at him, and didn't answer. Yuya waited, patiently at first, with his hands pressed into his lap, staring at the boy. He had other questions that he trembled to ask and have answered, but he didn't want to ask until he knew the boy's name. Tears grew at the corners of his eyes again—his mind was getting sidetracked every few seconds with memories of the fires, and the screaming, and his parents shouting his name in the blazing house as the priests dragged him away...

“Yuuri.”

Yuya was so lost in his horrible memories that he almost didn't realize that the boy had answered. The boy sniffed with irritation.

“I said,” he said, leaning forward. “My name is _Yuuri_. Remember it.”

Yuya blinked, his breath catching as he came back to himself. A tentative smile grew over his face, and he scootched himself forward until he was sitting in front of the bench. He held out his hand towards Yuuri.

“Hi Yuuri,” he said. “N-nice to meet you.”

Yuuri stared at his hand as though it had sprouted a second head. He didn't offer his own in return.

* * *

Yuuri didn't talk much. Yuya tried to fill in the gaps, mostly for his own sanity. He chattered into the walls, making his voice fill up the space to ward off the terror and confusion. He explained in great detail to Yuuri about his home in Hellebore: the flower patches, the way the houses were built and situated, who lived in what house and in what order, who was married to who and who had which kids, which shops had the best candy and the kindest shopkeepers who would slip treats to kids who tapped on the back door, what kind of animals they would find in the river and in the small fruit tree forest where the farmers harvested fruits for making jams.

Yuuri didn't give much indication of listening, but sometimes, his eyes would sidle towards Yuya, and he'd start listening with clear, rapt attention, until he noticed what he was doing and quickly looked away. He never answered Yuya's questions about why either of them were down here.

The priests came once a day to open a slat in the door and lower food down. It was simple fare, just a small roll of bread and a cup of water.  Sometimes, when they were lucky, it would be joined by another cup with a mouthful of watery stew.

The worst times were when the priests came to collect Yuuri.

The first time the door overhead swung open again, Yuya yelped. He barely dared to hope that he would see that trap door letting down more than a thin stream of torchlight, and he was frozen for a long moment as one of the priests lowered themselves inside. Yuuri tensed, and before Yuya could realize what was happening, Yuuri was trying to press himself into the corner of the room, only for the priest to grab him by the collar and yank him forward.

“Don't make this more difficult than it has to be,” the priest growled, stuffing Yuuri under one arm and tugging on the rope to be pulled back up.

Yuya was so shocked and terrified that it wasn't until the silently kicking shape of Yuuri disappeared outside of the hole that he began to scream. He tried to snatch for the priest's feet—where were they taking Yuuri? But the door was slammed shut after them, and Yuya was left, completely alone, in the dark.

He didn't know how long he screamed for someone to please let him out before he passed out. But when he opened his eyes again, the door was closing back up and Yuuri sat slumped on the ground again. Yuya sobbed as he threw his arms around Yuuri—and let go immediately when Yuuri flinched. Yuya only saw a part of his red, welted back before Yuuri dragged the tunic back up over his skin, hunching over his knees.

“W-what happened?” Yuya said. “What did they do?”

Yuuri just stared resolutely at the floor and hugged his knees tighter to his chest.

“None of your business,” Yuuri said.

* * *

It was impossible to tell time down here, but one day, the door swung open again, and Yuya squinted, exhausted, at the light that pooled through. He heard something like a soft sobbing, and instead of a priest climbing down into their tiny prison to drag Yuuri out of his corner, a new small shape appeared, dropped unceremoniously through the gap and into the thin layer of moldy hay.

The boy scrambled to his feet and immediately tried to clamber up the side of the wall towards the door. He actually somehow managed to find purchase, fitting his fingers almost magically into the gaps between the stones—but the door closed too quickly, and in his shock and the rumble from the crashing door, he released the wall and fell back to the ground with a cut off squeak.

Yuya and Yuuri didn't move for a moment, and the boy didn't either. He just laid there, barely breathing, staring at the faraway door.

“See,” Yuuri said. “ _He's_ quiet.”

The boy flinched up and immediately curled himself into a ball.

“You scared him,” Yuya said. “Hey...it's okay. We're not gonna hurt you.”

He crawled forward to the curled up boy. The boy peeked nervously between his arms—his eyes were almost black in the light, with little flecks of gray. He had darker skin than Yuya and Yuuri, a soft bark brown, almost the same color as his somewhat torn up clothes. His black and purple hair looked unevenly cut—actually, half of it looked as though it had been badly singed, and Yuya almost cried thinking about fire. He shuddered softly, but made himself reach out a hand to the boy anyway. He was probably just as scared as Yuya had been—still was.

“I'm Yuya,” he said. “That's Yuuri.”

The boy stared at him for a long moment. Then he slowly pushed himself to his knees, and tentatively accepted Yuya's hand.

“I'm Yuto,” he whispered. “W-why...why are we here...?”

Yuya stared at the floor. Then he looked at Yuuri. Maybe now Yuuri would say something?

But Yuuri had taken up residence on his bench again, and simply stared at the far wall without looking at them or speaking. Yuya looked back at Yuto.

“I don't know,” he whispered.

* * *

Thankfully, Yuto wanted to talk to fill the silence as much as Yuya did. Finally, Yuya had someone who would respond to what he was saying and even talk back.

Yuya told Yuto all of the same things he had told Yuuri, about his home in the wide open fields, about the caravans that would pass through with amazing performers who could juggle fire or make rabbits appear out of hats, about Yuya's secret dream to one day join one of their traveling troupes and learn how to make sparkling displays that would awe people.

Yuto told Yuya about his home, too. About the woods that stretched forever and ever. About the houses built into the trees themselves, or rather, grown out of the trees in an ancient style that Yuto had wanted to learn. He told him about the laughing woman with fairy wings that no one mentioned who wove cloaks and shawls out of leaves, about his best friends, Shun and Ruri, who were so good with the redkites that people joked that they must have been birds who put on human skin and then forgotten how to fly. He told him about the exciting, mysterious deepwoods, the place where the trees got so thick and the canopy so dark that you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, where only the adventurers were supposed to go in order to collect the firefruit, beautiful glowing fruits that floated above you when you let go of them. The dangerous fleshvines that clung to trees, looking like masses of vines until you got too close and their flowers opened up to show a vast array of teeth, and then they would crawl underneath the ground cover to find a new resting place—but their vines tasted delicious if you could manage to wrangle one, like a mixture of potatoes and bird meat.

That last bit was what finally got Yuuri to sneakily glance down from his bench, giving away the fact that he was listening.

Yuto was a lot like a mom sometimes, he would try to wipe the dirt off of Yuya's cheeks with his thumbs even though his hands were just as dirty, and he would help Yuya try to comb his messy hair. Yuya and Yuto would fall asleep curled up together—it was comforting to both of them to hold on to someone's hand while they were trying to sleep in such a scary place.

Yuya sometimes held his other hand out to Yuuri, to see if he would join them.

He never did.

* * *

Yugo joined them about twenty-two mealtimes later.

Yuya could hear him before the door was even opened, screaming and screeching and banging, the priests swearing.

The door opened with a bang, and Yuto startled awake, his hand releasing Yuya's automatically. Overhead, the priests struggled with a tiny little whirlwind of flailed legs and punching arms—one of them swore and shrieked _the little shit bit me_ before finally the struggling form was flung into the hole. He struggled so much that his back actually hit the side of the opening and his eyes bulged before he slumped to the ground, falling briefly limp.

“Is he fucking dead?” one of the priests said. “Demons—”

The boy struggled to his knees though, despite whimpers of pain every time he moved his back. The priests let out another few swears, but before the new boy could do anything more than screech again, the door was slammed shut. The boy staggered to his feet, staring at the door, reaching for it as though somehow, despite his height, he could reach it.

“Let me out!” he screamed. “I have to go! I have to get back to Rin! Let me out!”

“Demons, he's louder than you,” Yuuri grumbled, and the boy spun around, and staggered from the pain.

Yuya leaped up and ran to help support him, but the boy smacked at his hands, and ended up falling to the ground. He raised both hands in front of his face, glaring up at Yuya with clear blue eyes and a scrunched up face.

“I'll fight!” he said. “Y-you won't get me! I'll fight!”

“We're not gonna hurt you,” Yuya said. “We're all stuck here too...”

He held out a hand, slowly, so that the boy wouldn't strike him.

“I'm Yuya,” he said. “And that's Yuuri, and Yuto.”

“Hi,” Yuto whispered. Yuuri said nothing.

The boy glared at Yuya for a long, long time. And then, his tough mask collapsed, and his bottom lip trembled, eyes filling with tears.

“Why are we down here?” he begged, his voice cracking. “I have to go home. Rin's waiting for me.”

Yuya looked at Yuuri.

Yuuri wouldn't look back.

* * *

It took sometime for him to remember to introduce himself, he spent so much time crying while Yuya hugged him. Yuto hummed his father's lullabies for Yugo until he finally calmed down enough to only make a few hiccups.

Yugo was the same as them, almost the same face, with only a few differences. He looked almost as malnourished as Yuuri, but his arms and legs were stronger, and he was a little taller than the rest of them, with his fair skin tanned to brown by the sun. He worked in a junkyard during the day, he said. You didn't get fed at the orphanage if you didn't salvage enough parts for the factories, so he and Rin had to work hard to make sure they found enough to give to the other kids when they couldn't find any. He had gotten really tough hauling all the big pieces.

Rin was his best friend. She was almost all he would talk about, besides the handful of snippets they got about the orphanage. Rin was perfect. She was a little bit of a nag, but she meant well, and she cared a lot. She snuck some of her food portions to the other kids when they didn't get fed, and stole rolls of bread out of the kitchen to hide in her room. All the kids knew that if they were desperately hungry, Rin would have something. Rin was smart, too, she understood the ways the factories worked better than Yugo did, and stole glances out of ripped up textbooks they found in the junkyard, hiding them in the little hideaway that she and him and built together and trying to teach herself how to read and do math. She helped Yugo learn, too, and Yugo could already write his name, he announced proudly.

She was a worrier, too. She'd worry a lot if he was gone. The priests had just taken him, and hadn't signed any adoption papers, so she wouldn't know what had happened. They had promised they would age out together and go work in the factories—if he was gone, she'd probably do something stupid, and try to find him, and get in trouble. He had to get back so she wouldn't be in trouble.

“She sounds amazing,” Yuto whispered. “She's like Ruri.”

“You both sound stupid,” Yuuri said.

“Yuuri, that's mean,” Yuya said. “Yugo loves Rin.”

Yugo flushed a bright red and stammered something about how it wasn't really _love,_ they were just really close, and besides, they were kinda like a brother and sister you know—

But Yuuri just snorted.

“Love is stupid,” he said. Everything was stupid to Yuuri.

* * *

The priests stopped coming to collect Yuuri after Yugo arrived. Besides the irregular arrival of food that left all of them feeling more hungry than before it showed up, they didn't see anyone else. Yuuri still didn't talk much, no matter how much Yugo begged him to share something. They had all talked about their lives, why wouldn't he share his? They should try to be friends if they were down here.

Yuuri thought friends were stupid too.

Yuya, Yuto, and Yugo were all curled together in one corner of the room, sleeping, when Yuya woke up and found out that sometimes, when Yuuri said that things were stupid, he was lying.

He woke groggily to the faint sound of whispering voices. He squinted through the dark—Yuuri turned the oil lamp out every now and then and told them all to sleep and let him have some quiet. There was a little bit of light, though, coming in through the food slat. And in that light, Yuya could see Yuuri stretching up on his tip toes on his bench, his face turned towards the ray of light.

“You shouldn't be here,” Yuuri said, his voice actually sounding...scared? “They'll kill you.”

“I won't be long. I just wanted to see you.”

“You have to go.”

“Please, Yuuri—I just had to know you were safe.”

“You know that now, now go. Get out of here.”

Yuya's breath caught as an arm reached down through the hole. It blocked out most of the light, but Yuya could see it, faintly illuminated, as Yuuri automatically reached out and touched the hand. They were almost too far apart, their arms too short to reach.

“I promise I'll be the one to leave,” Yuuri said. “I promise I'll see you again.”

The hand squeezed Yuuri's, and then retreated. But Yuuri grabbed hold of it, making the owner of the voice stay.

“Dennis,” Yuuri hissed.

The hand hung in between Yuuri's for a moment. And then the voice whispered something, very softly, that only Yuuri could hear, and Yuuri closed his eyes. The hand slipped free of his, and the slit slid shut.

In the dark, Yuya could hear Yuuri slumping against the wall and sliding back down to the bench.

In the dark, he could hear the tiny sobs that Yuuri was trying to make sure no one else heard.

* * *

When the boys ran out of memories to tell each other about, the conversation turned to the one thing they had been trying to avoid for as long as possible—the future.

Yugo was the one to bring it up first. They had all learned very quickly that he had no sense of tact or ability to read a situation, and he was usually the one to get the ball rolling.

“When we get out of here,” he said, suddenly, leaning back from his empty food tray. “I'm gonna introduce you all to Rin.”

Yuya stopped into the middle of his bite of bread. He always ate it very slowly, one bite at a time, to make it last longer. _When we get out of here._

The words hung in the air like a silent reverberation, and none of them made a move for a long, long moment, the other three all frozen in between bites. Yuya swallowed his soggy bite of bread, and it felt stuck in his throat for a moment.

Yuto was the one to speak next, his voice, as always, quiet and murmuring.

“When we get out of here,” he repeated, eyes on Yugo. “I'll show all of you the forest. And the redkites. They're really soft. You can't understand until you pet one.”

It sounded like some kind of spell, something magical and mysterious and frightening to say out loud, but Yuya found himself saying it anyway. Never mind the fact that he was sure his home was in ashes and everyone gone. For moment, in that dark room, with the others and their shining eyes, he thought it might be safe to dream.

“When we get out of here,” he whispered, and it was as shudder-inducing to say as it was to hear, “I'm going to bring you all home and you can meet my mom and dad. My dad can show you all his little clockwork toys, and my mom will make you pancakes.”

“Even the big dragon one?” Yugo said, eyes wide. He had been fascinated by Yuya's descriptions of his father's clockwork machines, _especially_ the large snake dragon that was almost the size of a cat, and wriggled back and forth like a real dragon moving through the sky.

“Even the dragon one,” Yuya said, smiling. “Yuto can play with the hawk one, and Yuuri, you'll probably like the flower that opens and closes.”

Yuuri, who hadn't spoken or even looked at the three of them, eating with his back to them like usual, just snorted.

“Oh? I'm invited?” he said.

“Of course,” Yuya said, leaning forward on his hands towards Yuuri. “Of course you are. All of you are—cause we're all friends, right?”

“Yeah!” Yugo said, his eyes bright and shining. “We're all friends.”

“Friends,” Yuto echoed, his voice sounding thin and longing.

Yuuri didn't answer. He didn't even turn around to look at them. Yuya scootched forward on his knees. His hand hovered just above Yuuri's shoulder.

“Friends, huh?” Yuuri said.

And before Yuya could put his hand on Yuuri's shoulder, Yuuri snorted. And then the snort turned into a laugh. He had to fold over and hug his stomach from how hard he was laughing—it was a twisted, sarcastic sound, bouncing off the walls and filling Yuya's ears with a shudder.

“Y-Yuuri?” Yuya said, his hand withering back towards his own chest.

Yuuri stopped laughing almost as abruptly as he started. He twisted himself around until he was facing them, with a wild, twisted smile on his face, his eyes wide, wild, and—glassy with tears.

“We're not _friends_ ,” he said. “We're not friends! We're just stupid kids who happened to get thrown into the same cell together!”

“B-But that's why we're working together, to take care of each other,” Yugo said. “W-we ended up in a bad situation, so—”

“And why do you think you ended up down here? Huh? Why do you think _you_ , of everyone, got thrown down here?”

“I—”

“It was because of me!” Yuuri said—and his smile was gone now, he just looked wild. “It was because of me!”

Yuya felt his words lodge in his throat. What was Yuuri saying? He didn't know what to say. This was the most words that Yuuri had spoken to any of them for as long as they had been down here, and he wasn't making any sense. The other two were frozen, too.

“You want to hear about my life before this cell, Yugo?” Yuuri spat. “Well, I'm sorry it's not all sunshine and rainbows like you three, because I didn't _have_ a life before this cell!”

His hands dug into the hay like he was trying to strangle something.

“I was born a demon! I'm the prince of the Zarkanian Empire because I was born the second the old emperor took his last breath. But being a prince doesn't mean anything, it means that I'm the priests' plaything to lord over the people so they can have their own fancy dinners and crap! I get to come out of my little hole for a few hours every now and then to get washed up and fancy and shown off to people who have no idea that I'm a cell rat that barely gets fed. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone except the Inner Priests. I only get to stay in a decent room with actual food if I do as I'm told and only for as long as the priests feel like teasing me!”

Yuuri was getting red in the face now, and he was breathing so hard that he was actually shaking back and forth.

“The only person who never treated me like shit was Dennis and he's a goddamn servant who might as well be a slave, he can't do anything but watch and flinch and get smacked around a few times himself if he tries to do anything to make my life a little less miserable.”

Yuya wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak. He felt like he was choking.

“But I could sense you—I could sense all three of you, ever since I was old enough to understand what talking was, and I—I—I wanted—you were like _me—_ ”

Yuuri choked for a moment, and he had to cover his mouth with his hand, shoulders shaking.

“They made me point at maps to where I sensed you and any time I was off the mark or they thought I was lying, I got whipped. Until they finally found you all and dragged you here to keep you locked up with me here until the eclipse comes and we all turn into demons and _kill each other._ ”

Yuto gasped and Yugo made a choking sound. Yuuri just smiled wildly, but it looked—broken. _He_ looked broken.

“That's right! That's why you're all down here! And that's why there's no _when we get out of here._ Because we're all demons and only one demon gets to leave this box.”

Yuuri was choking on his own words now and Yuya wondered if he knew that he was crying. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he spat each syllable.

For his own part, Yuya felt cold.

Demons? They were...demons? That didn't seem right. He was a person, just like anyone else...just like Yuuri, and Yugo, and Yuto. They were all people. Just regular people who got caught up in something horrible.

Yuya crawled forward towards Yuuri, and Yuuri actually flinched. He froze under Yuya's grip as Yuya carefully wrapped his arms around Yuuri, drawing him gently into a hug.

“It's okay,” he said, patting Yuuri's hair the way his mother did for him when he was crying. “It's okay.”

Yuuri felt like a stone in Yuya's arms.

“Why?” he mumbled. “It's my fault. I told them where you all were. It's my fault you're here.”

Yuya heard the soft sound of someone pulling themselves across the floor, and then the soft arms of Yuto wrapped around both him and Yuuri.

“It's not,” Yuto said. “Because you're stuck too, right? It's their fault for taking us. _All_ of us.”

Yuuri made a choking sound. And after a beat, Yuya heard Yugo's hesitant footsteps, and Yugo dropped quietly down behind Yuuri to wrap his arms around him and the other two, too.

“You're not all by yourself, Yuuri,” Yugo mumbled. “And we're friends. So...so we're all gonna leave together. One way or another. Okay?”

Yuuri made another strangled sound. Yuya wondered if they were choking him.

And then his arms came up, one against Yuya's back, another against Yuto's, and he buried his face in between Yuto and Yuya's heads while he snuggled back into Yugo's embrace too.

“I hate all of you,” he said. “You're so noisy and happy and gross.”

“Love you too, Yuuri,” Yuya said quietly.

Something about that made Yuuri seize up slightly. But he melted against just as quickly, his fingers digging into the back of Yuya's shirt.

“I hate you,” he said. “We're all going to die anyway.”

“Not if we can help it,” Yugo said.

“We'll figure something out,” said Yuto.

Yuuri sniffled.

“Stupid,” he whispered.

* * *

Yuuri started sleeping in the pile with the rest of them.

It was warm there.

* * *

The food stopped coming. They weren't sure exactly when it had happened or how much time had passed. Maybe they were just imagining it being longer than usual. But their bodies got steadily weaker, and Yuto was starting to get the same hollow cheeks as Yuuri and Yugo, and Yuya thought he might be getting them too.

They spent most of their time just laying in their pile with the oil lamp turned off so that the only sensation they had was their sense of touch and hearing as they pressed against each other.

Sometimes someone would whisper something.

“ _When we get out of here.”_

Hopes, dreams, little whispers of what they'd all go see together and the people they'd meet again and introduce to each other. Yuuri stopped sniffling out a “stupid” to every single statement. Yugo murmured ideas of how to escape. Climbing on each other's shoulders to reach the door. Fashioning a lock pick out of their leftover food trays that had never been retrieved.

“Let's try it after we get a little more sleep,” Yuto would mumble.

“Good idea,” Yugo said, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Yuya didn't know how long it was, but his stomach had stopped rumbling, and he felt like he was so light that he would start floating away. It was a struggle just to grip onto the hands he held. He wasn't sure who was who right now.

“When we get out of here,” came the hoarse, rallying whisper. The shock this time came from the fact that Yuuri was the one whispering it. “Can we bring Dennis with?”

Yuto made a small mumbling sound, but he seemed to have forgotten how to speak. Yuya fumbled through the dark to find a shoulder that he thought might be Yuuri. He smiled at nothing, even though he felt like he was dying from the energy it took just to smile.

“Of course. Dennis can come too.”

Yuuri made a soft, breathy sound.

“That's good,” he said, sounding sleepy. “That's good.”

* * *

Yuuri was sitting in the corner with his hands over his head. Yuya only noticed because part of the warmth of the pile had disappeared, and he looked weakly around for the source.

Yuuri sat far away from them again, his back to them, face to the wall. He was rocking back and forth, mumbling. It took everything Yuya had to sit up on his weak limbs, squinting through blurry eyes at Yuuri.

“Y-Yuuri?” he mumbled, his throat thick and dry. They hadn't had any water in a while, either.

Yuuri only let out a thin moan.

Panic thrumming in his chest, Yuya tried to pull himself across the floor.

“Yuuri,” he said again, a little stronger this time.

“I don't want to kill them,” Yuuri mumbled. “Please. I don't want to. I don't want to.”

Yuya tried to say Yuuri's name again, but then pain ripped through his skull. He shrieked in spite of himself, clapping his hands over his ears and dropping his head between his knees. The sound woke Yuto and Yugo, who struggled to crawl out of the pile—Yuto doubled over next, and then Yugo screamed.

_KILL._

The word rang through Yuya's head. Over and over and over and over and over—

It was so loud he thought his ears would start to bleed and nothing he did to cover his ears made the sound any less. He wanted to start banging his head against the floor or the walls or do something, anything to make the sound stop, just make it _stop stop stop stop—_

He was burning up on the inside. Oh god.

He could _feel_ the other three in his head. They were like horrible burning brands pressing against his head. Was this what they were feeling, too?

_KILL KILL KILL ESCAPE KILL GET AWAY ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE KILL_

Yuya was burning up on the inside. His eyes were so hot that he couldn't see, all he could think about was the horrible burning sensation of the other three, stabbing into his brain, dragging on him like invisible, fiery ropes, making his hands curl into claws.

Yugo, however, was the fastest. Yuya choked as he felt Yugo's hands wrap around his throat, saw his flat, burning eyes, wide and wild overhead, as though he didn't know what he was doing.

“I can't let go,” he mumbled, sounding terrified. “Y-Yuya, w-what's h-happening, p-please stop m-me—”

And then his eyes turned a flat, full blue without any pupil or white and his voice cut off in the middle, changing into a low, guttural growl. Somewhere in the corner, Yuuri screamed.

Then Yuya's own mind went under in a sea of fire and smoke and he remembered nothing.

* * *

Yuya woke up in a puddle of blood.

He lay sprawled, with his arms out stretched, staring at...at a light, up above. The door was open. There were shadows looking down at him. Yuya tried to speak, but nothing came out. There was something...metallic in his mouth. And the floor under him was warm and sticky...

He twisted his head slightly to the side.

Yuto's glassy eyes looked back at him.

His neck was at the wrong angle.

Yuya choked. He gagged, convulsing. His peripherals, as he struggled to fling his head away from the sight, caught other motionless lumps on the ground around him, in various states of twisted limbs, and a scream bubbled up in his throat as he convulsed inwards on himself.

_Dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead._

“ _Only one of us gets to leave this box.”_

He didn't even hear the voices overhead. He was too busy screaming.

* * *

_Present_

The effects of the Reibulb wore off slowly, and Yuya didn't realize until then that he had been crying. He noticed, then, the tear tracks down his cheeks, dry and a little cracked. He rubbed at his cheeks, blinking away the thick bubbles still in his eyes.

“T-that's mostly everything,” he mumbled. “Except...it was a couple days later when I heard them in my head again. Yuto, Yugo, and Yuuri, I mean. They're...their souls are still within me.”

He fumbled to a stop. Now that the Reibulb's influence had somewhat left him, he was intimately aware of the stares he was getting. Horrified, pale faces. Melissa had both hands over her mouth, looking like she was going to cry too. Ishijima's hands hung limply at his sides, staring at Yuya like he had grown a second head.

Crow looked—and sounded inside his head—like he was going to rip down one of the giant trees with his bare hands and drag it all the way back to the temple to beat it to the ground. Even Sawatari looked a little sick, and Gongenzaka had had to press a fist tight to his mouth to keep himself from interrupting.

Reiji still looked at him as calmly as ever, his mind quiet and still. He closed his eyes then.

“Thank you, Yuya,” he said, softly. “I'm sorry we had to make you relive that.”

Yuya looked down at his knees.

“ _Do you think that was good enough?”_ Yuuri snarled. _“Enough for them to get their heads out of their asses?”_

He was upset—very upset. Yuya tried to soothe him mentally, but he shied away. Yuya wasn't really in the mood for soothing, either. He felt shaky. His hands wouldn't stop trembling and he had to press them into his lap to still them.

The silence dragged for what felt like forever. Gongenzaka finally took his hand away from his mouth, and opened it.

Before he could speak, however, a second voice cut across.

“Are the other three souls truly within you?” the sudden new voice said. “Or is it some kind of trauma induced hallucination?”

Yuuri actually hissed with indignation at the implication. Yuya looked around. Who had spoken? Where was it coming from? Yuya swallowed.

“Y-yes,” he said. “It's really them. They know things that I don't so...I think they're real. They're really the other three.”

For a moment, there was no response. The others were all glancing around nervously too, wondering who had been listening to them.

As though peeling himself out of the tree itself, a figure appeared. He hopped lightly from the roots and into the circle—Tsukikage appeared right behind him, folding his arms as he moved quietly to the back of the circle, staying in the shadows.

In the back of Yuya's head, Yuya heard Yuto gasp.

He was about the same height as Reiji—dark hair swooped over one half of his face in a deep greenish color, like rusty foliage. His eyes were a piercing hazel-yellow, pale skin slightly tanned from the sun. He was dressed somewhat similar to Tsukikage, in a tighter tunic and bandaged arms, a red scarf pulled up over his face and nose.

Yuto made a soft, almost whimpering sound.

“ _That's...that's Shun,”_ he said, sounding on the verge of tears. _“H-he's gotten so tall.”_

Shun, as Yuto called him, approached Yuya. He completely ignored the Council and their questioning glances and mumbled inquiries, until he stood right in front of Yuya, staring down at him over the top of his scarf.

“You said a boy called Yuto exists within you. A boy that used to live in these woods.”

“Y-yes,” Yuya said.

“Prove it,” Shun said. “Tell me something only Yuto would know.”

Yuya hesitated.

“ _Yuto?”_ he asked.

Yuto had to take a minute to consider, feeling uncertain. And then, he gasped, and whispered something to Yuya. Yuya stood up. His legs shook a bit under his weight, and Gongenzaka grabbed his elbow to steady him.

As Yuto instructed, Yuya hesitantly moved his hand forward. Shun did not move. Yuya pressed his hand gently to Shun's chest, where he could feel his heartbeat.

“Your heart sounds like a redkite, Shun,” he said.

Shun's entire body tensed up for a moment under Yuya's hand.

Then, hands shaking, he lifted up to take Yuya's hand, and held it between his. He closed his eyes, and just the tiniest tear appeared between his eyelashes. He lifted his hand and pulled his scarf away from his face, revealing a strong jaw.

“Yuto,” he murmured. “You came home.”

In Yuya's heart, Yuto began to cry.

  



	24. TWENTY FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Copied City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUmktoDFFKM)

Ruri ran so fast that she forgot to open Yuzu's door, and all Yuzu heard for a moment was the sickening slam of a human body smacking face first into the door.

She scrambled up off of her bed, dropping her notebook from class so that it exploded onto the ground, sending pages everywhere.  She ran to the door, yanking it open. Ruri stood there, sheepishly rubbing her very red forehead.

“Goddess, Ruri, are you okay?” Yuzu said. “What was that for?”

Ruri just grabbed Yuzu's hand, dragging her into the hallway. Yuzu barely had time to close her door behind her.

“Mieru sighting,” Ruri gasped. “She's finally appeared—she's in the sanctuary, and as far as I know, she's alone.”

Yuzu almost choked, but then she gathered herself and got her legs actually underneath her, able to run with Ruri now instead of being dragged along. Once Ruri seemed certain that Yuzu was on her feet, she dropped Yuzu's wrist and just ran. She pulled the door open and held it open behind her for Yuzu to jump through.

“Rin's also just been released,” Ruri gasped, looking over her shoulder with her hair flying all around. “Masumi and Selena went to catch her, and get her caught up on what we've learned so far.”

“Which isn't much,” Yuzu said between heavy breaths.

“Which isn't much,” Ruri agreed. “But maybe she'll remember something—maybe she'll have some information about solitary right after her time there.”

Yuzu wasn't sure she was holding out any hope, but she just nodded.

She and Ruri ran across the green from the dorms to the sanctuary doors. Ruri staggered to a stop just in front of the doors. She hesitated only for a moment, then gripped the handle and heaved it open as slowly and carefully as she could. Yuzu slipped in through the crack when Ruri beckoned. Ruri followed, holding the door so that it wouldn't make a sound.

The sanctuary wasn't exactly empty—there were a few students sitting in one corner with their textbooks, taking notes silently, and one of the teachers kneeling near the front before the altar, praying. But besides that, Mieru was alone. She didn't have the abbess around her. This was the perfect time to see if she had any information to share.

Yuzu's heart thumped in her chest. Mieru sat on the floor on the right side of the room, almost exactly halfway between the altar and the door, tucked against the wall. Her knees were drawn up under her, and she looked straight ahead, hands lying limp against her lap.

Yuzu and Ruri exchanged a quick glance.

“Someone should keep an eye out,” Ruri whispered, careful to keep her voice low. She had a knack for whispering without even the hint of a hiss that would catch attention; something she had learned back in the oldwoods where silence was a matter of whether you got eaten or not. “I'll watch for the abbess. You see if Mieru can talk.”

Yuzu nodded.

Ruri slipped back through the doors, and Yuzu turned her eyes to Mieru. Her heart hammered so loudly in her chest that she was certain everyone in the room could hear her. Steeling herself and swallowing, Yuzu walked forward.

Mieru did not respond when Yuzu walked near her, or when Yuzu carefully sat down only a tiny bit away from her. She was close enough that most people would be giving her strange looks, about why she would have chosen this spot in the entirety of the empty room. But Mieru didn't even look at her. She just continued to stare straight ahead, almost glassy eyed. Was she awake?

Yuzu waited for just a few seconds, biting the tip of her tongue.

“Mieru?” she whispered.

Mieru didn't respond to even the sound of her own name. Before, Yuzu had thought it was just simply indifference, but...like this? It didn't seem like Mieru was ignoring her on purpose. Yuzu shuddered. What was wrong with her?

She remembered her peridot eyes gleaming in the dark, staring right at Yuzu up in the rafters, where she should have been, by all rights, hidden. The way that she had put her finger to her lips and pointed towards the window. What had that meant?

She tried again.

“Mieru,” she said, just a little louder. “Can we...talk?”

Mieru still didn't respond. Yuzu bit her lip, glancing at Mieru through her bangs, trying not to turn her head too much, trying not to catch attention. What could she do? She had to try and get something, or all of her friend's hard work would be for nothing.

“Mieru,” she said again. “I want to know if you know anything about what happens to the students in solitary.”

That got a response. Mieru's breath caught. Her eyes drifted down towards her hands, which she slowly turned upwards to look at her palms. Bolstered, Yuzu leaned on one hand towards Mieru.

“I heard something that night, here,” she said. “You saw me, right—”

Mieru grabbed her hand. All at once, Mieru's eyes were holding Yuzu's with a clear ferocity she had never expected from the girl before—her hand felt like an iron vice around Yuzu's wrist. After staring at her for what felt like a millennia, Mieru slowly rose a finger to her lips again. Yuzu's mouth opened, but she couldn't find any words.

Again, Mieru pointed towards the windows. Towards...where?

“You want...to go to the shrine?”

Mieru nodded. She held up one finger. One moment?

Then, without another word, she stood up, her robes shifting around her legs. Without looking at Yuzu, or giving any indication that they had even spoken, Mieru walked to the doors. She pushed through, and disappeared, her curly hair vanishing through the slit.

Yuzu waited. One breath. Two.

She stood up again, and walked as leisurely as she could to the doors.

Ruri stared at her with wide eyes and her mouth parted.

“Did you—did she get to say anything?”

Yuzu looked down the path. She saw just the barest flicker of orange hair disappearing into the woods, behind the thick trees.

“She didn't want to talk there,” Yuzu said, quietly. “I think she wants to meet at the shrine.”

Ruri looked quickly in the shrine's direction.

“Should I tell the others?”

Yuzu opened her mouth, to say yes, but then—

“I don't want to scare her with too many people showing up, maybe telling everyone where we are,” Yuzu said. “She seems...something's off. Let's just go together—this is our job, anyway.”

Ruri looked uncertain, but she nodded, slowly.

Yuzu didn't wait for any more confirmation. She just ducked towards the woods, trying not to run this time, so that they wouldn't attract attention.

This path was becoming so familiar to her now in the recent months that she thought she could walk it in her sleep. It seemed mere seconds passed by the time she heard the trickling of water and stepped out into the shrine.

Mieru was seated on the steps of the shrine, her robes splayed out over her legs. She didn't look at either Yuzu or Ruri when they appeared, staring blankly into space like usual. In her lap, a thick sphere of crystal rested between her hands. The same one that Yuzu had seen that night.

Yuzu walked across the sigil to the steps of the shrine. She hesitated for a moment in front of Mieru, and then sat down on the ground in front of her. After a beat of hesitation, Ruri did the same, folding her legs elegantly beneath her as she sat beside Yuzu.

For a moment, they just sat there. Completely silent. Yuzu wasn't sure if she should prompt Mieru again or not—she wasn't sure how to relate to the girl.

Finally, she gave in.

“Mieru,” Yuzu said, gently. “Do you want to talk?”

Mieru's lips pressed together—finally, a response. She gripped her hands around her sphere, looking down at it. However, as soon as her eyes glanced across it, she automatically squeezed her eyes shut.

“ _ Yes,” _ she said, and her strange  _ wrong _ voice clattered against Yuzu's bones. She heard Ruri choke on a gasp.

Speaking just that word seemed to take a lot out of Mieru, and her shoulders slumped. She took in a deep, heavy breath, one that shuddered her entire body. Yuzu wanted to reach to her and put a hand on her knee to steady her, but she wasn't sure if that would startle her or not.

She should ask simple questions, ones that Mieru could answer easily. It seemed like...part of her wasn't really here.

“Mieru, do you know what happens to the students who are in solitary?”

Mieru nodded.

“Is it what the abbess tells us it is?”

Mieru shook her head.

“Is it what we remember it to be like?”

Mieru shook her head again.

Yuzu thought for a moment, trying to come up with questions that would be easy to answer with a yes or a no, but would give her information. Her hair was already rising on end with her nervousness. Mieru had already confirmed the one thing—solitary wasn't what they remembered it to be.

“Are the nuns changing our memories of what happens in solitary?”

Another nod.

“Why?” Ruri said. It seemed to blurt out of her before she could stop it, and Yuzu looked at her quickly. They had to go slowly with Mieru—

But, all of a sudden, Mieru made an effort. Her face scrunched up with concentration, lips moving slowly, as though practicing the words before she said them.

“ _ Would...scare...you.” _

Every word was pulled out of her throat like a chore, and Yuzu felt something in her flinch every time. It was like...her voice was in between noises, in between planes of existence, trapped half somewhere else and half here.

“What they're doing to us would scare us to know about?” Yuzu said.

Mieru nodded. She tried to speak again.

“ _ Wouldn't...listen...anymore.” _

Yuzu and Ruri exchanged a glance. Yuzu felt a tremor of fear pass through her, making her heart catch. Something that...if they knew what the nuns were doing...they wouldn't listen to them anymore. What could be so horrible? What were they doing?

Yuzu thought hard for another question. And then something cold slipped into her chest, and she shivered.

“Mieru,” she whispered. “Did they do the same things to you?”

For a moment, no response. And then Mieru shuddered deeply, her torso folding up over her knees. Her hair fell in a curtain around her, and she was trembling so badly that Yuzu thought she might fall apart. Yuzu leaped to her feet in spite of herself, putting her hands on Mieru's shoulders. Oh, she was...she was so cold.

Mieru flinched—and then leaned back into Yuzu's touch. Yuzu sat down next to Mieru and Mieru immediately sat up, leaning against Yuzu, into Yuzu's half embrace, as though absolutely starved for touch. Tears glistened in her eyes.

Ruri put a hand over her mouth.

“This is what happens from the testing?” she said. “But...but the others didn't....”

Mieru shivered, pressing harder into Yuzu.

“ _ Went...too...far,” _ she gasped.  _ “More...careful...now.” _

Yuzu's heart clenched. Oh goddess. Mieru had been the very first test subject, hadn't she? Oh  _ goddess _ . This was what she had become?

She felt incredibly cold under Yuzu's hands, as though her body were sapping the warmth out of Yuzu. Yuzu held onto her anyway, pulling her so that her head rested against her chest and stroking her hair.

“You don't have to say any more,” Yuzu said. “You're pushing yourself a lot for us. Thank you.”

But Mieru shook her head wildly, and struggled free of Yuzu's grip again.

“ _ Have...to...know,”  _ she breathed insistently.  _ “Have...to... _ know.”

She gasped. It seemed like speaking was akin to running a marathon for her, and Yuzu reached for her shoulders again, pulling her close once more. Mieru was desperate...she really wanted to talk. Oh goddess...had she sensed Yuzu and pointed because she wanted Yuzu to meet her at the shrine that morning? Had Mieru been waiting there for her when she never came? Yuzu's heart felt like it was breaking.

She ran her tongue over her dry lips.

“Mieru,” she said, using her name over and over as something of a lifeline for the girl. “If you can't answer this, that's okay, don't push yourself. But what are the priestesses trying to do with these tests?”

Mieru hummed. She practiced the words a few times, moving her lips open and closed, eyes flickering as she seemed to figure out the easiest way to say it.

“ _ Make...a...goddess.” _

Yuzu blinked. Make...make a goddess?

“You mean a goddess's champion?” Ruri said.

Mieru shook her head, eyes suddenly fierce.

“ _ Make a goddess,” _ she insisted.  _ “They have—demon. Make—goddess.” _

She left her sphere in her lap and gestured wildly at her face, flapping her hands towards it. After a minute she seemed to get a hold of her hands again, and she splayed her fingers towards her eyes.

“ _ Goddess...eyes...” _ she gasped.

That seemed to take the last of her energy out of her, and she slumped against Yuzu's arms. Yuzu held her despite the cold that spread from her small body, pressing her close.

“Thank you, Mieru, thank you,” she said. “Thank you for working so hard.”

Mieru shivered slightly, and Yuzu felt a tear drip onto her arm.

Yuzu found Ruri's eyes. She was almost grateful to see that they were as confused as she felt. She couldn't parse meaning out of it—not quite. What did Mieru mean, make a goddess?

_ They have a demon _ , Yuzu said, turning the thought over in her head.  _ They have...a demon... _

Yuzu's breath caught in her throat and she almost choked. Her eyes widened and she pressed a hand over her mouth. No. That couldn't be it, could it?

“What?” Ruri said, leaning forward. “Yuzu? What?”

Yuzu swallowed thickly.

“Ruri,” she said. “The Zarkanian priests—they have a demon.”

“Yes, and?”

“They have the demon in a human form. The pieces of the demon's soul, collected and fastened back together.”

“Right, of course, we all learn this,” Ruri said. And then her eyes flickered. Her mouth parted. “Yuzu—Yuzu, that's impossible.”

“That's what it sounds like it means,” Yuzu said.

“But the goddess didn't shatter! She just...left. She left the world of humans and charged us to keep living. She  _ left _ . There's no bits of her soul to collect.”

Yuzu swallowed.

“What if they're trying to force her to come back?” Yuzu said. “What if they're trying to drag her soul back by force?”

She looked down at Mieru, who had fallen with her head in Yuzu's lap. Yuzu ran her hair soothingly through Mieru's hair.

“They're trying to force the goddess's soul into a human body,” Yuzu said, the words sounding more horrifying when spoken out loud. “That's what they're doing. They're not looking for a champion.”

Ruri looked horrified, her face tinging with gray. She glanced quickly at Mieru.

“Goddess eyes,” Yuzu mumbled, her stomach twisting. “It didn't work with Mieru. She got...stuck in between, instead.”

Ruri covered her mouth with her hand again, looking sick.

Yuzu just stared up at the sky, the horror of the revelation shattering through her like glass. Her order wasn't training a goddess's  _ champion— _ they were making a goddess herself.

They were trying to make their own weapon to combat the demon.

And they were shattering girls' minds in order to do it.

  
  



	25. TWENTY-FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Pascal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGFOvuOxwuU)

**** Yuya spent most of the journey to the village ferrying conversation between Shun and Yuto.

After a brief discussion among the Council, Shun had ended up overriding them. He was the First Hunter of the Corkoro, directly under the forest ward, and as the rebellion was at their hospitality, they didn’t end up having too much of a say. Shun wanted to take Yuto—and Yuya and his companions—back to secret village, where they would meet with the forest ward and discuss where to go from there. The Corkoro knew where Rayglen was, anyway. That was what they had all come here for in the first place.

After spending just a night with the rebellion, during which Gongenzaka fussed over him like a mother hen and keep poking at him to eat more (him double-teaming with Crow was  _ almost _ a nightmare if Yuya hadn’t secretly liked having people actually care about him), they set out just as dawn began to twist through the leaves. The oldwoods felt even older and more ancient in the dawn light, streaming like pillars of golden dust between leaves and making the world beneath the canopy feel thin and silent.

Reiji and Tsukikage had already been waiting at the edge of camp when Yuya, Crow, and Sawatari made their way through the still sleeping camp. Sawatari was very clearly not a morning person, as he just grunted irritably at Yuya when he said good morning. Shun appeared out of the woods with that same mysterious invisibility as they approached.

Before they could leave, Gongenzaka had appeared with a sack strapped over his shoulder. He said that Yuya was not going to Corkoro without him, and after a few terse moments of argument between him and Shun, Shun reluctantly agreed to let him accompany them, on the grounds that he had just reunited with Yuya as Shun had with Yuto.

Yuto was desperate for information about his home village, so Yuya tried his best to mediate a conversation on the walk through the woods.

“ _ What happened to Ruri? What about my mother? Who’s the forest ward now? It sounded like it was someone new, who is it?” _

“Please ask one question for me to ask at a time,” Yuya begged. Shun chuckled.

“Sounds like Yuto’s gotten more talkative,” he said. “He was always the quiet one of the three of us. Sometimes it freaked out the other kids; all he had to do was stare at them and they’d leave us alone.”

Yuto made a spluttering noise of protest, and Yuya had to laugh.

The going slowly became tougher the further into the woods they trekked. Bumpy roots turned into huge arches of roots, which sometimes towered several feet over their heads.

“Your horse isn’t going to like this bit,” Shun said. “I told you that you should have left him behind.”

“Armageddon goes where he wants to go,” Reiji said. “I don’t bring him anywhere.”

Reiji put his hand under Armageddon’s head, letting the horse drop his head onto his shoulder for a moment. He looked into Armageddon’s eyes for a long moment.

Then, with a slight huff, Armageddon turned on his own and walked back through the woods.

“Probably not safe to send him back to camp by himself,” Shun said with a sniff. “Wolves like horses. To eat.”

“It would be amusing to see them try,” Reiji said.

Yuya found himself wondering exactly what Armageddon was, because he was pretty sure ordinary horses didn’t do things like Armageddon did. One way or another though, Armageddon separated from them and disappeared into the woods, and the rest of them continued forward.

It began to get thick and dark back here. Vines draped from branches in thick curtains. Thin strands of plants like hair grew off of trunks and dangled over paths so that they trailed creepily across Yuya’s skin like cold fingers. The light was going down, too, and at first, Yuya thought maybe it was already night, but no—the trees were just getting so tall and thick that the light couldn’t reach the floor anymore. And yet, plants and foliage somehow grew thicker. Shun was having to pull huge bushes back to let them all through—Gongenzaka had the most difficult time trying to fit his broad shoulders through some of the spaces that were barely visible between trees.

“ _ We’re almost in the deepwoods,” _ Yuto said with awe.  _ “This isn’t where Corkoro was before.” _

“Yuto says this doesn’t look familiar,” Yuya said.

Shun grimaced.

“We had to move deeper after the priests attacked. Our first village was burnt almost to the ground. It took everything we had to stop it from consuming most of the forest.”

Yuya’s stomach twisted thinking about raging flames, and Yuto withdrew with consternation. Yuya felt his mind twisting with distress, as his memories flickered around between images of his old home, and thinking about the fact that it was gone.

The forest became so dark that it was almost impossible to see. Shun withdrew a long rope from his belt and had everyone clip themselves onto it, with him in front and Tsukikage in the back.

“Stay quiet,” he said. “This is where the fleshvines like to hide out. And don’t touch anything. It’s probably poisonous.”

Then he tugged gently on the rope, and lead them in through a space between trees and into the dark.

If not for the feeling of the rope tugging on his waist, and Gongenzaka’s hand grabbing his from just behind him when he almost froze up, Yuya probably would have started screaming. It was so  _ dark _ . He could barely see his hand in front of his face—it felt like that horrible darkness of the cell and his throat clenched up and he was going to choke. Yuuri let out the tiniest moan at the back of Yuya’s head, and the other two were getting nervous too.

Shun silently reached back for his other hand, warm against his, and Yuya managed to breathe. He clung to the hands in front and behind him and tried to focus only on that sensation.

They walked through the darkness for what felt like days. Time had no meaning in this part of the forest as they wove around trees that Yuya couldn’t see, felt more hair like vines brushing over their skin like ghostly fingers that made him want to scream. Every now and then he would hear something rustle in front or behind or to the sides, and he couldn’t tell if it was from one of the others attached to the rope or if it was something else.

And then, suddenly, there was light.

Yuya blinked, staring at the tiny specks of light in the distance with surprise. Was he dreaming? It looked so strange after the eternity of darkness that he almost thought it was a trick of his imagination. But no, they got closer, and…and they were fruit. Yuya stared, open mouthed at the trees that hung low over their heads like an archway made of branches and leaves. They had huge, round fruits hanging heavy from their branches, some of them as big as Yuya’s head. They were white, and blue, and they flickered slightly as though there was a fire inside of them, pulsing through the thin membrane of their skin. There was something cold about the light, about the way that it only barely illuminated the dark woods around them and painted trunks with faint silver outlines.

“ _ Firefruit,” _ Yuto said with awe.  _ “I’ve never gotten to see them growing before.” _

Shun led them between the glowing grove of trees, until they reached something that looked like a ripple of air, like a mirage. It hung between a forked tree, and Shun climbed up into it, unclipping his rope and turning back to face them. He offered Yuya a hand, helping him scramble up into the fork, and leaning back against one of them as he unclipped Yuya next, and beckoned him to pass through the strange ripple.

Yuya hopped through, and all at once, the world changed.

He had to freeze for a moment, blinded by the sudden change in light. After his eyes adjusted, he realized it wasn’t really  _ that _ bright, but compared to the darkness of the deepwoods, it was a shining field.

He gasped.

“Oh,” he whispered, as Gongenzaka grunted and squeezed through the space behind him. “It’s…it’s beautiful.”

In Yuya’s heart, Yuto let out a huge, relaxing sigh.

Here, the foliage had cleared again, but unlike the outer part of the oldwoods, this place was so  _ green _ . Flowers and grasses grew in a thick, beautifully soft carpet as far as Yuya could see, weaving around the trees and their roots, with flowers thicker at the base in beautiful colors like red and orange and yellow and purple and white. The trees themselves were all coated with moss and layers of mushrooms that looked like small steps for tiny people up the side of the tree. It made all of the trees look fuzzy and alive, as though covered completely in moss instead of bark. The moss had tiny, puffy flowers too, little white things that looked like flakes of snow.

The trees themselves rose about as high as the rest, but their leaves were thicker and more tangled together, forcing the light to pass through them and turning it into a vibrant verdant hue that colorized everything. And  _ in _ the trees…it was amazing. The houses, doors, windows, all of them seemed to be grown out of the trees themselves. Even from down below, Yuya couldn’t see a hint of seam between the bulges of houses and the trees. Some of the doors seemed to just open right into the tree, and Yuya wondered if they were hollowed out somehow. Rope bridges strung between the trees, covered in moss as well and even growing a few flowers so that they looked like they were vines themselves. Curtains of flower vines draped between houses. A few smaller doors were hidden mostly by piles of thatch in the bases of roots.

And there were  _ people _ .

They made their way across the rope bridges, calling out to each other in a language that Yuya only knew because it was a part of Yuto’s heart, it sounded like trees rustling their leaves almost and it made him shiver with delight. Children swung from platform to platform on vines, whooping as though completely unafraid of the drop below without a net in sight. Someone grabbed a stick and swung it over a rope, holding onto both ends and sliding down the angled rope to the ground below. A window opened, and a woman leaned out with a bird on her arm—it was one of the redkites, those beautiful birds with the red chests that Yuto loved so much. She held her arm out of the window and tossed it up to give the bird a boost, letting it soar off into the canopy and disappear.

There were other animals too, Yuya realized. Strange creatures that he had never seen before: large mouse-like creatures with huge bushy tails, who climbed up trees as easily as walking across the ground. Squirrels, Yuto’s memories named those. Fat, furry things with flat faces and long arms, dangling from the bottoms of rope bridges or along branches, moving their arms incredibly slowly one after the other to climb along and barely seeming to mind when children shook the bridges and reached between the slats to pet them.  Sloths, Yuya gleaned from Yuto’s memories once again.

Within Yuya, Yuto’s heart soared.

“ _ Home,” _ he said, sounding like he was going to cry.

Gongenzaka gently put his hands on Yuya’s shoulder and guided his frozen awe-struck frame to the side so that the others could pass through the gap.

“I’ll go let the ward know you’re here,” Shun said, as the others made it through with Tsukikage in the rear. “Wait here.”

He hesitated, eyes glancing over Yuto, and then nodded, and headed off towards the trees. Yuya watched with bated breath, fascinated. He didn’t see any ladders, or any way up to the trees except for that zipline, which only seemed to go down. How did you get up there?

“ _ Watch,”  _ Yuto said, sounding excited.

As easily as the creatures with the bushy tails, Shun hopped against the trunk and scaled up, seemingly without a single handhold. Yuya gasped. He remembered faintly that long ago day when Yuto had been dropped into their cell and he had tried to scale the wall to climb out. So was that something they just…knew how to do here?

“ _ You have to learn how to connect with the energy in the thing you’re climbing,” _ Yuto said.  _ “And then you attach your own energy to it, and you stick.” _

Yuya didn’t quite get it, but he accepted that it was something the Corkoro knew how to do, just like how they could vanish in midair, or how they could make a veil between the dark part of the woods and this beautiful part that somehow perfectly separated them without anyone being the wiser.

Shun made it to one of the platforms, flipped himself up on top of it, and made his way down one of the bridges until he was out of sight.

“Come and sit down, Yuya,” Crow said. “You’ve been walking a long time today. You should take a break.”

It was only then that Yuya remembered his shaking legs, twitching with exhaustion, and the sore aches that ran up his entire body. He turned away from the beautiful sight of the Corkoro village reluctantly, to where Crow was beckoning him to sit down in the grass.

Yuya lowered himself carefully down, sighing with relief. The grass was so incredibly smooth and lovely, and he felt like he was melting into it. A flower bobbed in the wind of his movement, and he felt a smile grow over his face as he reached for it, cupping it gently without picking it.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw a flower growing in the ground still,” Yuya said.

“There aren’t any flowers in Zarkania?” Gongenzaka said, looking surprised as he, too sat down.

“They’re illegal,” said Reiji. He hadn’t sat down yet, standing a little ways away from the others. “Goddess symbols.”

Gongenzaka looked mortified.

“Dennis would sometimes sneak flowers in for me,” Yuya said. “He…we both liked them.”

His heart clenched when he remembered Dennis. He still…he had no idea what had happened to him. Had he managed to escape, too? Or had Roger caught him? The not-knowing was the worst. With all of the commotion of travel, he had been able to momentarily forget his worries about his friend, but…now in the quiet moment, he was remembering all over again.

Yuuri remained stoically silent in Yuya’s mind, but Yuya could feel his pained heart.

“Dennis is the kid who covered for you to escape, right?” Crow said quietly.

“A heroic sort of story,” Sawatari said distractedly. “Hm. I’d need to know how it ended before I could write anything.”

Yuuri hissed at the word ‘ended’ but as Sawatari couldn’t hear it, Yuya didn’t say anything. Yuya didn’t like the implication either, though. Dennis could be dead for all he knew…and it was his fault…

A soft bird call sound echoed over the group and Tsukikage glanced up. He signed at Reiji, who nodded.

“We’re being summoned,” Reiji said. “The forest ward will see us now.”

* * *

Getting up into trees when you couldn’t climb like the Corkoro was almost just as fascinating as watching Shun climb without handholds. There was a big wooden crate near the middle of the village that they all had to climb into. And despite the weight, it lifted them up with ease, an intricate pulley-system making a soft rickety sound as they drew up towards the canopy. It dropped them off at a high platform, and Yuya hopped off first, thrumming with excitement at this new place.

Gongenzaka made a grumbly sound about  _ who in their right mind lives so far off the ground, _ but he clambered out too, and the others behind him.

Tsukikage took them around the platform, passing by a few people who gave them odd or curious looks. Although all of them had the same clothing style as Shun and Tsukikage, they all looked very different, too—their skin tones ranged from the darkest brown to the palest white, eyes glittering in every color from brown to blue.

“ _ The Corkoro accept anyone that the forest accepts,” _ Yuto said.  _ “Shun and Ruri and I got left behind in the woods when we were babies by people who didn’t want us, so the forest adopted us instead.” _

Tsukikage lead them to a larger house, which was built in between several close trees and roofed by thick sheets of pine. The scent was fresh and crisp to Yuya, and he breathed it in deeply. There was no door, just an opening, and Tsukikage led them inside.

Inside, the room was almost perfectly round, with a woven leave rug laying in the center. The weaver had used different colored leaves to create it so that it had a beautiful red, green, and yellow design. There were flowers growing in the floor in some of the corners, too, bobbing with the breeze that filtered through the windows.

Only two people stood inside besides Shun—one was a small, slight woman, her green hair flipped up at the back and the rest of it twisted into a single side bun. Her skin was a warm brown and her face faintly freckled, and she smiled, holding what looked like a leaf quill in one hand and her other hand resting on the small bump on her belly.

The other was a taller young man—he looked not much older than Shun, but there was something about him that seemed awkward, like he was trying to look older than he was. Heavy bags laid under his cold, white-blue eyes, his pale face twisted into a tense, almost scowling expression. He wore one black and white striped feather behind his ear, his yellow hair swooped up into almost a point over his head with aqua bangs neatly laying over his eyes. Unlike the usual clothing style of the Corkoro that Yuya had noticed, he had a longer coat that almost fell to his ankles, with more of the black and white feathers stitched on the underside of the coat.

The pair of them appeared to be talking softly as the others entered, but Yuya only heard the faint end of the conversation, the woman muttering something about how “Alit could wait, she was fine, she wasn’t far along yet, she could be here today.”

The man looked up then, and the conversation ended.

Tsukikage bowed his head to the man, who inclined his head back.

“Tsukikage,” he said. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you. Where’s Hikage?”

Tsukikage looked down at the ground. He made a sign towards Reiji.

“Hikage is, unfortunately, no longer with us,” Reiji said, sounding just a little tense.

The blond haired man blinked. He looked surprised by Tsukikage’s signing, and Yuya wondered if that wasn’t the Corkoro thing that he had assumed it was.

The green haired woman cleared her throat then.

“I am Kotori Mizuki, bound of the river wren,” she said, putting one hand to her chest so that Yuya could see the two small brown feathers tied around her wrist. “May I present our current forest ward, Kaito Tenjo, bound of the star-striped falcon.”

“ _ Kaito??” _ Yuto said, sounding shocked.  _ “Kaito is the forest ward now? But he wasn’t even in line!” _

Kaito’s eyes flickered to Yuya, and his face tightened.

“Is something wrong?” he said tersely.

Yuya jumped and ducked his head.

“Yuto is just surprised,” he whispered. “He didn’t think you’d be here.”

Kaito stared at him for a moment. Then he sighed.

“Skies, but you do look just like him,” he said, sounding suddenly tired. Shun grimaced. Clearly he had already explained the situation.

Kaito waved at the group.

“Sit down,” he said. “I’m not going to stand here staring at all of you. It’s time to talk.”

Yuya waited until Kaito had seated himself at one end of the rug, and Kotori and Shun on either side of him. Gongenzaka took a spot on one side of Yuya and Crow on the other. He almost felt a little smothered, but he sat down directly across from Kaito. Reiji, Sawatari, and Tsukikage found spots and then, for just a moment, there was quiet.

“ _ What are the feathers for?” _ Yuya asked Yuto.

“ _ They’re for your bound bird,” _ Yuto said.  _ “We all find which one we’re connected with when we come of age.” _

He sounded proud as Yuya’s eyes moved to Shun, and the two red feathers that hung around his neck, almost blending into his bandanna.

“ _ I always knew Shun would be a redkite,” _ he said.  _ “They’re hunter birds. River wrens for Kotori means she’s an archivist. And Kaito has the star-striped falcon, which is the ward’s bird.” _

Kaito’s eyes first slid to Reiji, cutting off Yuto’s explanation in Yuya’s head.

“I haven’t heard from any of yours in years,” he said tersely. “When we grant you the assistance of our warriors, we don’t want to hear that one of them is dead.”

Reiji pressed his lips together.

“There have been extenuating circumstances for both of us,” he said. “And it wasn’t as though I knew how to contact you after the fire.”

“Reiji, you know these people?” said Crow, shocked.

“By name alone,” Reiji said. He looked down at his knees, briefly, and before Kaito could speak again, he spoke over. “I am not the person you want me to be today, Kaito Tenjo. I would appreciate it if we would focus on the matter at hand.”

Kaito looked miffed, but he shrugged, and glanced at Yuya. Yuya startled away from looking at Reiji. What exactly… _ who _ exactly was Reiji? A traveling scholar who just happened to be traveling with a Corkoro warrior, to study the goddess and the demon when he didn’t really seem to believe in the power of either? Melissa had seemed like she recognized him too, back at the resistance…what was Reiji up to?

Kaito looked to Yuya, then, eyes narrowing slightly.

“So,” he said softly. “You’re…Yuya.”

Yuya nodded.

“You’re the Demon Emperor, and the one who will destroy the world when the eclipse strikes. And you have the soul of Yuto within you.”

“Yugo and Yuuri, too,” Yuya said.

Kaito nodded, not taking his eyes off of Yuya. He just considering Yuya for a long time.

His eyes slid to Crow.

“You’re the resistance leader. Crow.”

Crow nodded.

“You know that Rayglen doesn’t want anything to do with the resistance anymore, don’t you?” Kaito said. “I understand what your quest is, but you’re asking me to send you to their most secret stronghold. They aren’t going to like that.”

“I…I never meant to come all the way,” Crow said, looking down. “If they won’t have me…as long as you can promise me Yuya will get there.”

He looked uncomfortable saying it out loud, though, and Yuya wondered if…if Crow had decided he wanted to come all the way there with Yuya. He would have been okay with that…he liked having Crow around.

“I didn't say that I  _ couldn't _ send you, I said they weren't going to like it,” Kaito said tersely. “The real question is, how little do I care about pissing off the abbess?”

The way his lips curled made Yuya think that he didn't really care at all.

“I don't really care much for politics, so I won't be dancing around the subject,” Kaito said. “I don't think you're going to find what you're looking for in Rayglen. The last time I was there, they were as far from finding a champion among the elect as ever.”

Yuya's heart leaped. They—there wasn't a champion yet? But he...he had only six months...no, less, now, that they had been traveling.  How long had it been, anyway?

“And besides that,” he said, leaning forward on his knees. “I don't trust them. I don't know if I want to send you to them and simply  _ hand _ the Demon Emperor to them.”

Yuya felt Gongenzaka tense up beside him.

“And what do you mean by that, Kaito Tenjo?” he said, his voice low and rumbling. “It sounds like you're looking at Yuya like some kind of chess piece.”

Kaito made a face, pushing his bangs off of his forehead with a scowl.

“I told you I hate politics,” he said. “I am not supposed to be sitting here, you know.”

“What Kaito is trying to say,” Kotori piped up suddenly, her voice sounding clipped and professional. “Is that because of our current, uncertain status of affairs with Rayglen...we don't know how safe it is to send you there.”

Yuya licked his lips.

“I'm trying to go there to die,” he said. His voice was thin and quiet, but it seemed to catch everyone's attention. “Safety isn't really an issue. If they can kill me...that's all that matters.”

Gongenzaka opened his mouth wide as though about to make some loud disapproving argument to that, but Kaito spoke first.

“And what if Rayglen decides to weaponize you the way that Zarkania did?” he said, lip curling. “What if they don't have any intention of killing you when they catch you? What if they decide to use you and put us all in the same danger as before?”

Yuya felt his words lodge in his throat. The other three froze too, nervousness twisting among them.

Crow made a spluttering sound.

“The order of the goddess wouldn't do that!” he said, a little red in the face.

“Mm, intrigue,” Sawatari muttered. “What lies beneath the surface?”

“Shut up,” Crow said, glaring at him.

“We'd like to agree with you,” Kotori said, tilting her head. “But...well. We're worried.”

Kaito let out a sigh.

“It didn't used to be like this,” he said. “You know? We used to teach that the goddess and demon were both  _ necessary _ .”

In Yuya's heart, three souls fluttered with uncertainty.

“W-what are you talking about?” Yuya said. “I'm...I'm going to destroy the world. I have to be stopped before that happens.”

Kaito shook his head. His clear gray blue eyes met Yuya's and he frowned. It was Kotori, however, who picked up the thread of conversation.

“Corkoro didn't have much contact with the outside world for many decades,” she said. “The attack from Zarkania and subsequent contact from Rayglen was our first real encounter outside of a few letters in as many centuries. So we still have much of our written and oral traditions untouched.”

“You're referring to the Teachings of Duality,” Reiji said softly.

Everyone glanced at him, but Sawatari's eyes lit up.

“ _ I  _ taught you that one,” he said. He strummed once on his lute, but Reiji held up a hand.

“Please, not now,” he said. “Paraphrase.”

Sawatari stuck his tongue out at Reiji, glowering.

“Everyone's a critic,” he muttered. “But all right. For those of you who don't know.”

He tuned a chord anyway, even though he wasn't singing.

“The Teachings of Duality,” he said, in a dramatic voice. “In the most basic form, the tenets are this: you cannot have creation without destruction, and you cannot have destruction without creation. The two must exist as one—the two must have come into existence as one. Neither can disappear, or else both must disappear, and existence with it.”

His words rang in the silence for a long moment. Yuya licked his suddenly dry lips. The voices in his head were so quiet—they were thinking hard, just as hard as he was. What exactly was Sawatari saying?

“In other words,” Kotori said. “The goddess and the demon are two halves of the same coin.”

She tilted her head, looking directly at Yuya. A small smile grew over her face, and Yuya felt Yuto blush lightly. Yuto remembered her as the nice older sister kind of person who sneaked him candy when his mom said no. Yuya wondered if Kotori was seeing Yuto in him right now.

“If you are destroyed, Yuya, where do you think your power will go?” Kaito asked.

Yuya's words lodged in his throat. He...he didn't know. He hadn't thought about it.

“It...it'll die with me, right?”

“It will find someplace else to go,” Kaito said. “Destruction and creation, like...like the bard said. The world needs both.”

“I don't understand,” Yuya said, his head spinning. “If the world is destroyed...”

“Do you know the food chain, Yuya?” Kaito said. “Plants absorb sunlight. Animals eat plants. Animals eat other animals. Animals die, and their bodies decay into the earth and feed the plants. Death paves the way for life.”

Tsukikage made some signs across the circle to Reiji, who translated.

“If nothing ever died, the world would overpopulate and expire from lack of resources,” Reiji said. “Thus, destruction regulates the ability to create.”

Yuya felt like he was going to be sick, he was thinking so hard. Tears prickled his eyes. He understood, but...

“I get it,” he said. “I really do. But the way I am now, my destruction is too dangerous. When...when I go into my rages, I don't even know what I am anymore. The thing inside me...it just wants to consume everything. It doesn't care about a balance. It just wants to kill.”

He ground his hands into his lap, looking at the floor.

“I don't know what will happen to that power if I die,” he said. “But...but it can't stay in this shape with me. I have to find a way to die so that it can't be used to hurt anyone.”

He didn't want to look up from the floor, but he felt like he could feel all of the eyes on him. After a long, long moment, Kaito sighed.

“We're talking in circles,” he said. “Here's the deal: you all want to go to Rayglen for your quest. I don't know if I feel safe sending you there. Like I said—I don't know if I trust them anymore. I don't know what will happen if you go.”

He glanced at Shun, who had been completely silent during the entire proceedings.

“So I'm sending  _ you  _ with them to Rayglen.”

Shun blinked, sitting up straighter.

“Kaito?” he said.

“You heard me. I don't trust Rayglen—but I do trust you. I trust your ability to keep things under control and figure out if the rumors we've been hearing have any grounds.”

He shrugged.

“Besides, your sister is there. I'm sure you'd be happy to see her again.”

In Yuya's heart, Yuto gasped.

“ _ Ruri,”  _ he said, lighting up with excitement.  _ “Ruri is there! She's in Rayglen!” _

“ _ Perfect,”  _ Yuuri drawled.  _ “Maybe she'll end up being the champion and we can die by your girlfriend's hand.” _

The thought was actually incredibly sobering, and Yuto clammed up.

“ _ Yuuri,” _ Yuya scolded him, but Yuuri didn't respond.

Kaito stood up, his knees cracking as he let out a soft groan. His cape shifted around his feet.

“You can all stay here for the night. There's temporary lodgings on the ground—I figure you ground dwellers are more comfortable down there anyway.”

“We appreciate your hospitality,” Reiji said.

Kaito just glared at him, and there was some meaning behind that glare that Yuya couldn't parse.

“Get some rest,” he said. “We'll provide you with some supplies to make the last bit of the trek through to Rayglen. It's only about a day from here if you know what you're doing.”

Without another word, he swept around the circle, and out the door. Kotori hopped to her feet. She bowed to them with a faint smile, and followed Kaito out.

That left the rest of them there, sitting in a brief silence.

Gongenzaka put a hand on Yuya's shoulder and Yuya looked up at him. His friend's face was hard and grim.

“Are you really doing this?” he said. “You're really...trying to die?”

Yuya ducked his eyes away. His head spun with thoughts of duality, the goddess, the demon, secrets in Rayglen, his travels, the thoughts and memories of his other three headmates.

He smiled faintly.

“There's nothing else I  _ can  _ do.”

  
  



	26. TWENTY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Fortress of Lies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMBScNW_CNc&t=21s)

****Mieru really, really liked Yuzu's bracelet.

Yuzu flipped through the heavy book with one hand, her other laid on the table so that Mieru could twist the bracelet back and forth around Yuzu's wrist. Something about it seemed to calm her, and her eyes sparkled as she watched the setting sunlight glitter across the gem when it moved in and out of the ray of light from the tall windows.

“Will the abbess notice that you're following me around?” Yuzu asked absently, her attention only half on Mieru and half on the book.

Mieru shrugged. She traced a finger around the gem on Yuzu's bracelet.

“ _Doesn't...care...til...needs me.”_

Mieru tried to talk quietly to avoid people hearing her voice in the quiet library, but she needn't have bothered. It was almost empty at this time of day, where the sun was almost ready to set and people were headed to dinner or bed or studying in their rooms.

Yuzu flipped another fragile page, the parchment crinkling under her fingers. This book was so old that some of the words were fading away, but there were still vibrant calligraphic letters at the beginnings of each chapter.

Still, she wasn't learning much that she didn't already know from lessons. If only they could get into the restricted section and see what was in there. Masumi and Yaiba had been doing their best to sniff around, but the nuns almost seemed to be able to sense their intentions, and always happened to be around any time that the pair of them tried to sidle closer to the arch and grated door that led into that room.

Yuzu looked up at the sound of a soft huff, and then the flop of another book on the table. Rin wiped her forehead with the back of one hand, blowing out through her lips at the pile of books she had just grabbed.

“Probably more duds,” she said.

She flicked them with her knuckle, lip curling. Her face was still as white and strained as it had been when Yuzu and Ruri had met back up with the others and told them what Mieru had confirmed. Something in Rin had changed—perhaps the not knowing what had just happened to her mere days ago was wearing on her. Yuzu had caught her staring at her own palms a lot, flexing them experimentally, as though to see if something was off.

Rin flopped into the chair opposite Yuzu. Her tongue briefly flicked over her lips.

“So, uh...” Rin said, not quite looking at Mieru. “You don't remember what they did to you either?”

She had already asked Mieru that several times, but Mieru seemed patient with answering. She shook her head to say, once again, no, she didn't remember.

Rin grimaced and looked down at the table.

“Why would they even think something like that would work, anyway?” she said. “The goddess didn't get split up like the demon.”

“I know,” Yuzu said. “We've been over this.”

She sighed, and took her arm away from Mieru so that she could rub her temples. She was getting so exhausted of reading. She had spent the last few nights doing nothing but reading and she had barely gotten any sleep. Rin hadn't been sleeping either, and when Rin didn't sleep, she made noise tinkering around with whatever bits of scrap metal she had found hiding in trash bins.

 _Think_ , Yuzu ordered herself. They had to figure out exactly what the nuns were trying to do. If the order itself was putting the students at risk, Yuzu wanted to know _why_. She had thought they were training to become heroes, soldiers for the goddess and protectors of the weak—not experiments.

“Uh, Mieru, you don't have to answer this, but,” Rin started, leaning over the table. “What exactly can you do? Like I mean—you can scry and stuff, but Yuzu said something about having the Goddess's eyes...uh, what does that mean?”

Mieru bit her lip, wrinkling her nose. She seemed to be having trouble thinking about it. Rin held up her hands.

“It's fine, you don't have to try and answer,” she said.

But Mieru shook her head. She bit her lip again, holding up one finger. Then she reached across Yuzu's book to the scroll of parchment that Yuzu had been pretending to take study notes on, and Yuzu's quill as well. Mieru's tongue stuck out slightly as she scratched the pen over the paper. It didn't seem to take quite as much energy as talking for her, but her fingers were wobbly, as though she had some trouble holding the pen.

She finished writing and twisted it towards Rin and Yuzu. They leaned in to see what she had to say.

 _I was the first experiment,_ Mieru's words said in thin, wobbly writing that was almost too hard to read. _They wanted access to the goddess's plan, so they tried to physically connect me to the goddess so that I would see what she sees._

Rin bit on her tongue, exchanging a glance with Yuzu.

Yuzu pushed her book aside, more interested in this conversation now.

“So...can you see what she sees?”

Mieru winced. She pulled the paper towards her again and scribble some more.

 _Fragments,_ the paper read. _From a lot of viewpoints. Like she's in a whole bunch of places at once._

She hesitated, but before Rin or Yuzu could ask another question, started to write again.

_She sees this place a lot. And she seems to be watching some of the students. Sometimes, the viewpoint seems so close and I_

She hesitated before finishing her sentence.

 _I think she might be somewhere here,_ she wrote out. _I think she's here. Somewhere in Rayglen._

Yuzu's breath caught in her throat.

The goddess was...here? Somewhere here?

Mieru kept writing; she was getting the hang of holding the pen and could write faster now.

_But there are still so many viewpoints, all the time, it's like she's looking out from a hundred eyes all at once. Sometimes she sees students here so closely I think she must be standing right next to them. I've tried to track down the places she sees the most clearly but_

And she stopped again, hand trembling. Yuzu reached out and put her hand on top of Mieru's briefly. Mieru swallowed. She finished her sentence.

_I only find a student standing where she's supposed to be from my vision. And I wonder if maybe there's a part of her in every person with a Blessing, and if that's why I'm seeing from so many eyes._

Yuzu breathed in a tight breath. It was said that the goddess granted Blessings but...

Rin swore softly.

“What if it's a lie?” Rin whispered. “What if the goddess's power somehow _did_ get split? What if...what if it got split up a _lot_? Into the Blessings?”

“Y-you think that's possible?” Yuzu said. “In that case...is the goddess...gone?”

Mieru let out a thin shudder, and she pressed her hands against her mouth. Yuzu put her hands on Mieru's shoulders despite the icy cold that leaked through Mieru's clothing.

Rin swallowed, looking uncomfortable with just the idea.

“W-We're just speculating,” she said. “I mean...the goddess can't be just... _gone_. Can she?”

Yuzu opened her mouth, but she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say. She just sat there for almost a full ten seconds with her mouth open and no sound coming out of it.

And then she heard the slap slap slap of shoes hitting the floor as someone hurtled through the library, and Selena appeared around one of the shelves, skidding across the marble when her eyes fell on the three of them and she tried to wheel herself to a stop.

She staggered over to the table and grabbed it to brace herself.

“What the hell?” Rin said. “What part of 'let's not draw attention to ourselves' doesn't make any sense to you?” Rin said.

“I know where solitary is,” Selena said, not acknowledging Rin at all.

Rin's mouth froze open, and Yuzu felt her heart leap. Mieru's eyes widened too, her mouth changing into a small o.

“How?” Yuzu said. “Did you remember something?”

“I don't know. Maybe,” Selena said. “You remember when I got like that—that flash? About our bracelets?”

“Yeah,” Yuzu said.

“I got another one. I know where it is—please, trust me, I can't explain it either but I know where it is. We should go before I lose it or something.”

Yuzu and Rin exchanged glances. Rin stood up.

“Should I go get Ruri and the others?”

“No time, and we shouldn't have a whole troop of people stumbling around and drawing attention, like you said yourself,” Selena said. “Come on—just us. Quick!”

She pushed herself off the table and ran before any of them could say anything else. Yuzu briefly glanced at Rin, but Rin was already shoving her chair out of the way and running after Selena. Yuzu started to stand up—Mieru's fingers dug into her arm, holding her down.

Yuzu glanced down at Mieru.

“What's wrong?”

Mieru stared up at Yuzu for a long moment, her face looking drawn and white.

Then she released Yuzu, and reached for the paper she had been scribbling on, crumpling it up.

“ _Careful,”_ she whispered, her voice cracking with a desperate plea.

 _She doesn't want to come with us_ , Yuzu thought. Her heart clenched. What had happened to her that even without her memories of the event, she felt scared of the place? Yuzu grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“We will be,” she said. “I promise.”

She squeezed Mieru's hand one more time, then she let go and fled around the bookshelves after the disappearing backs of Selena and Rin.

They were already out the door, and it took a brief moment of fumbling in the almost-dark of sunset to see which way they had gone. She caught a glimpse of Rin's mint green hair disappearing around the corner towards the sanctuary, and she bolted after it. Was it—in the sanctuary??

But no, Selena ran around the building, to the back, towards the abbess's office. Yuzu's stomach twisted. Were they going there? What if the abbess was there? Yuzu pushed herself to catch up, gasping for breath—Selena and Rin were far better runners than she was, they were built for speed and stamina while she was built for short-term agility.

“What about—the abbess,” Yuzu gasped at Selena.

“She's not there right now,” Selena said.

“How do you know?” Rin said.

“I just—I just know, just like the bracelets—please, please trust me, guys.”

She sounded so desperate, her voice cracking, that Yuzu silenced the rest of her objections. Her eyes flickered towards the sky, still barely light from a crack of sunlight over the horizon behind the trees. The moon hung low in the sky.

 _The moon again_ , Yuzu thought. _Could...could Selena be able to..._

She had to have some kind of Blessing to even be a student here, and the nuns had sensed power in her, but her ability had not yet manifested. Some people were late bloomers, everyone assured her. Could Selena's Blessing be showing itself now?

Selena slowed to a fast walk as they reached the office buildings behind the sanctuary. There were a few of them, small white houses with shingled roofs and windows covered with drapings, glowing softly from light within for a few of them. Selena led them around through the hedges that surrounded them, darting through the deepest shadows to get them to the abbess's office.

Since it was where she lived, too, it was one of the biggest among the office buildings, about twice the size of the others, but still significantly smaller than university and sanctuary. Selena ducked down and lead them to the back. She briefly peeked her head over the back hedges to the window, which was dark inside.

“She's not here,” Selena said. “No one's down here today.”

“And you're sure?” Rin said.

Selena nodded, but there was something in her face that made Yuzu think maybe she wasn't very sure at all, or she was doubting this flash of intuition.

She didn't seem to let it stop her, though, because she hopped up, slid her fingers under the window, and heaved it open. It was unlocked—that seemed a little dangerous. Selena crawled through, hopping inside, then turned around to offer her hand to Rin. Rin ignored it and crawled through on her own, but Yuzu grabbed on to Selena and let her help pull her through, landing lightly on the carpet.

In the dark, there was a sense of unease draped over the quiet study. The carpet was thick enough to hide their footsteps as they walked around the desk, and Yuzu glanced around nervously for signs of life in the house. The office door was closed, though, and probably locked from the inside. If someone came along, they'd have a few seconds to hear.

Selena walked to the bookcase on left wall, tongue sticking out slightly. It was getting very dark, very fast, and Yuzu could only see the faint glimmer of her eyes.

“What are you doing?” Rin said.

“It's always behind the bookcase, isn't it?” Selena said.

She knelt down, ran her fingers over the books, and then grabbed one that looked pretty much the same as all the others, maybe a little smaller than the rest. She pulled on it—but it didn't come out all the way. There was a soft kerchunk sound, and then the sound of something winding and creaking. Yuzu bit down on her tongue and put her hands over her mouth, as though that would make the sound quieter. Her eyes flicked to the door. Oh goddess, she hoped that Selena was right, and the abbess wasn't here.

“Or, not behind the bookcase, but the bookcase is the key,” Selena said, standing up and dusting off her knees.

“What did you do?” Rin said.

Selena pointed behind them, and the other two turned around.

A hole had opened up in the corner of the floor, with a thin, steep staircase leading down into the dark.

Rin swore and Yuzu felt her heart clench. Was that...

Selena didn't hesitate. She marched towards the staircase and started to make her way down. Yuzu froze for only a half second. Did she even want to know what was down there? What were they going to find out?

She swallowed.

She needed to know.

She bolted forward before Rin had started moving, and followed Selena down the stairs. She had to duck to get around the ledge underneath, but once they were in, it was easy to stand up—but incredibly dark.

Selena's hand felt back in the dark and grabbed Yuzu's.

“Hang on, go slowly, and watch your step,” she said.

“Right,” said Yuzu. She reached back to find Rin's hand, and then in a chain, they made their way down into the dark.

At the bottom of the stairs, there was a single, unlit torch. Selena released Yuzu's hand to fumble in her pocket for a match, and lit it up. She wiggled it free from the bracket to hold it up and light up their surroundings.

It looked like a very strange underground lobby. It was a fairly large room, with a desk on one end, and plenty of books on the shelves behind it. A roll of parchment lay left behind on the desk, held open by the quill resting across it. There was a door directly behind the desk, and two others on either side.

Yuzu licked her suddenly dry lips, following Selena inside. The room was almost entirely white, and from the dull torchlight, it looked kind of eerie and sterile. Rin walked ahead to the desk, looking at the parchment.

“Names,” she said. “M-mine's one of the last ones.”

“Probably because you were here last,” Selena said. “Is there anyone after you?”

“Just one,” Rin said, spreading the parchment out. “Um...it's Anna.”

“Is there anything else on the list?”

“Some short hand I don't understand.”

Yuzu perked up—something that she could do. She trotted over to look at what Rin was reading. The shorthand was much different from the kind her father used for his lessons, but she recognized a lot of the symbols.

“It's...appointment times and locations,” she said, squinting. “And...and I'm not sure about this part. It looks medical, maybe.”

Rin's face looked white even in the dark.

“What did they do to me?” she mumbled.

Yuzu bit her lip. Selena caught their attention by gesturing with her torch, though.

“Come on,” she said. “We need to go this way.”

She took the left door, opening it up and letting the other two go in front of her. There was a short hallway on this end, with doors on either side.

“The one at the end,” Selena said. “That's the one I saw.”

Rin almost ran all the way down, not even bothering to check the other doors. She was getting really worked up, Yuzu thought. Yuzu couldn't blame her. Yuzu took it a bit slower, trying the other doors. They were all locked.

Her stomach twisted as they got closer and closer to the last door—Rin was already standing in front of it, her hand frozen over the knob.

Before Yuzu or Selena could get there, however, Rin steeled her face, grabbed the handle, and opened it up. She stepped through, but stopped as soon as she was over the threshold. Yuzu picked up the pace until she was standing behind Rin, looking over her shoulder.

The room looked like a small hospital room, with just a cot, some cabinets, and a scribbled list hanging from the wall. Tubes and apparatus hung from the ceiling, and they led down to...

Rin let out a thin, strangled sound, and Yuzu felt like throwing up.

She didn't know Anna very well, the girl was in other classes and lessons than her, but Anna was a loud enough girl that Yuzu knew she existed. Of course, right now, she was laying prone on the bed with tubes shoved into her arm and some kind of breath mask over her face, her eyes closed. She looked pale, like she was losing blood, but Yuzu wasn't sure how that was possible—until that machine was for some reason taking blood from her?? She wasn't sure, and she had no idea what to think.

Selena pushed the torch at Yuzu and shoved between the two of them, marching across the room. She didn't even look at Anna, leaning down towards the list pinned to the wall.

“This isn't shorthand,” she said, her voice sounding a bit dead. “This is a list of tests.”

Yuzu couldn't keep her curiosity and fear in check, so she scrambled forward, leaving Rin in the door. She held the torch up and leaned in to read the list.

“'Blood testing',” she read. “It's not checked off yet.”

“That's probably what they're doing now,” Selena said. “Look at the rest of it.”

Yuzu licked her lips, afraid—but she had to know. She read the rest of the list.

“'Half blood replacement,'” she read. “'Blessing test. Stressed Blessing test. A-aura crossing?'”

“What the hell does that mean?” Rin said.

“I-it's theoretical,” Yuzu said, her head spinning. “First, you have to be able to parse the information of someone's aura and somehow encode it as a wavelength. Then you have replicate it and...and cross it with someone else's aura.”

“And what does that do?” Rin said. “T-theoretically.”

Yuzu tried to remember what her dad had said about it all those months ago when he had been studying it for an assignment, collecting information from old tomes about the ancients and their technology. He had said it was just for archival purposes, and she believed that he believed that was what it was for—but had they instead decided to try and replicate such a dangerous procedure?

“Theoretically,” she said, her voice sounding wooden even to her. “Depending on what part of the aura you're copying, you could synthesize someone else's Blessing, and add it to someone else. Or at the most extreme, you could transplant someone's entire personality into another person.”

“But what happens to the old personality then?” Rin said, her voice shaking.

Yuzu didn't even need to answer for them to know. Her hands were shaking so badly that she was probably going to drop the torch. Selena gently extracted the torch from her hands.

“Let's go,” she said. “There's something else we need to see.”

“We can't leave her here!” Rin said, heated as she stepped forward. “We've got to get Anna out of here too.”

“We can't,” Selena said. “It will draw too much attention—and we can't be dragging her around.”

“We can't leave her to go through this!” Rin said, her eyes wide and wild.

“Do you know how to safely take that stuff out of her arm?” Selena said. “I don't. For all we know she could die of blood loss the minute we try.”

Rin was shaking so badly that Yuzu thought she might fall over. She looked quickly between Rin and Selena, her hands clutching in front of her. Selena looked as white as Rin—she had been down here too. And neither of them had ever known that this was what the order they trusted was doing to them.

“You think I'm not angry, too?” Selena hissed. “But we've both been down here, Rin. And we're still standing here lucid and alive. Mieru was a really unfortunate exception—Anna will come back and not remember a goddamn thing.”

Rin looked like she was going to start sobbing right there, her knees shaking. She had to grab the door frame so tightly that her knuckles went white.

“I don't like it either,” Selena said. “But please—I don't know how long this flash of intuition is going to last and we need to take advantage of it. There's more in this building I want us to see, not just in my head.”

Rin's eyes flickered to Anna, and Yuzu felt her own heart seize up. Rin made a soft strangled sound. Then she nodded, and stepped back into the hallway shakily.

“Let's get it over with.”

Selena waited for Yuzu to hurry out of the room, then she walked through and closed the door before leading them back down to the lobby. She took the door on the opposite side of the room this time, leading them into another hallway with a few more locked doors. She took them to the middle one.

This room was also unlocked by some miracle. Neat file cabinets filled the entirety of the room, which was not too much bigger than the hospital beds. Selena passed the torch to Rin this time, walking inside and making a beeline for one towards the back. She jiggled it open and flipped through.

Yuzu and Rin wandered closer as Selena wiggled free a thin slab of black glass, propping it up on the top of the cabinet. Yuzu gasped—she recognized that too, and she hadn't thought it was possible to replicate in an age without a present goddess.

“Filmglass,” she said.

Selena nodded.

“They had to find a better way to keep records, I guess,” Selena said. “They're hiding a lot of technology down here.”

Selena stuck her tongue out slightly turning the glass over.

“I...I don't know how to turn it on,” she said.

“I do,” Yuzu said. “My father studied this, too.”

She swiped her finger lightly down the right edge and then tapped in the center.

An image blossomed to the top of the glass, like ink bubbling up inside of water. It took a moment for the blur to clear, but then a black and white moving image came into focus.

Rin made a soft groan. It was her. It was Rin, sitting in a chair in the middle of a room, her wrists clamped down to the arms of the chair and her ankles to the legs. She had some kind of darkened visor over her eyes, and her fingers gripped at the arms of the chair so tightly that they were going white, her jaw clenched and teeth flashing slightly in a grimace.

“Goddess,” a voice said from off the screen. “Are you with us?”

The Rin on the screen made a soft, pained moan.

“Turn it up. Just one setting.”

Rin on the screen's head snapped up, and she started to gasp for breath.

“Goddess,” the voice said again. “Are you with us? Your followers are begging for your assistance.”

Rin started to gasp and pant.

“What are the readings?” the voice said.

“The air's getting hot in there. Her Blessing is enhancing into temperature manipulation.”

Rin's hair started to flap a bit at the ends, like there was a wind gusting around her.

“She's getting agitated.”

“Don't turn it off. The aura is starting to fit together. Is this Blessing enhancement going to hold?”

“Doesn't look like it. It's unstable.”

The voice cleared its throat.

“Goddess,” she called again. “Goddess. My lady. Can you hear me?”

On the screen, Rin let out a thick, strangled moan. And then words began to drag out of her throat, sounding like Mieru's wrong, fragmented voice.

“ _Stop it,”_ she moaned. _“Please...I don't want to come back. Don't make me come back.”_

“We're getting a very, very strong reading.”

“Can you set the stakes, hold her here?”

“No, she's fighting. She won't connect with the host.”

“ _Stop it!! You're hurting her! Let me go, let me go! I need to go! I don't want to do this anymore! Stop making me fight! I'm_ done _!”_

And then Rin let out a thick screeching sound, and her head dropped to her chest, making her go still. Outside the screen, the voice made an angry tutting sound.

“She's gone,” the voice said. “Put the host back under and finish the memory rewrite, she won't be able to call the goddess again.”

The screen flickered into the darkness again, leaving the three girls in silence.

Yuzu felt like she was going to throw up. That...that had been the goddess? She had sounded so...so... _broken_.

_Stop making me fight._

Rin actually let out a thin whine.

“T-that happened to me,” she said, her voice shaking. “That happened to me, and I—I don't even remember.”

“They're trying transplant the whole goddamn goddess into a living person,” Selena said—now her voice was shaking, too. “Our own lives be damned.”

Yuzu couldn't talk. She could barely even breathe. She couldn't believe she had just seen that happen. Automatically, she reached for one of Rin's hands, grabbing it and squeezing it tightly. Selena slid the glass back into its folder, closed the drawer, and quickly took the torch back from Rin.

“I can just imagine it,” Selena hissed, sounding actually angry. “They finally succeed in erasing our own goddamn personalities and putting the goddess there instead, then march us out of the laboratory and say that we've ascended. No one's the wiser to how they've been fucking _torturing_ us.”

Yuzu's head felt so dead and empty. She couldn't even be angry. She didn't know how to feel. She could just grip onto Rin's cold, clammy, shaking hand as tight as she could.  It was all so horrible.  She knew what theories they were working with, she had helped her father study them; theories had started that people with Blessings had certain blood makeups.  The blood testing and replacement was probably to attempt to synthesize the makeup of the goddess's blood, to make the aura crossing hold better.  Did her father know that they were using his research to do this?

_Why doesn't the goddess want to fight?_

Somewhere behind them in the building, there was the sound of a door closing.

All three of them froze.

“S-someone's here,” Selena said.

“You said there wouldn't be anyone,” Rin hissed.

“I said there wasn't anyone here right now, not that no one would suddenly come in!”

They pressed themselves automatically into the corner. Selena quickly remembered the torch and stabbed it against the stone floor to put it out. They were left in total darkness, huddling together.

Somewhere down the hall, they heard voices. Yuzu's heart thumped in her chest. She couldn't hear what they were saying—would they come this way?

N-no, they weren't coming closer.

“They're going to see Anna,” Selena said.

Rin tensed. Yuzu tightened her hold on her hand, just in case Rin decided she was going to burst out and try to fight them. Now was not the time. They needed to get out, regroup, and decide what to do next.

Yuzu's head spun, though. Was every bit of it a lie? The goddess sword, too? Were they not even _able_ to become worthy of using it? Was only the goddess herself able to use it, and that was why they were trying to bring the goddess into a human body?

“We need to get out of here,” Yuzu said. “Selena—don't leave the torch, we don't want them to know we were here.”

She only got a squeeze from Selena's hand in response, so Yuzu hoped that Selena understood. Yuzu stood up slowly, gripping Selena's and Rin's hands. She swallowed, and slowly sidled down the aisle of file cabinets towards where she remembered where the door was. She bumped her knee into the cabinets a few times, but managed to find the door.

Rin grabbed the handle and eased the door back open into the pitch black hallway.

“Slowly,” Yuzu hissed.

“You don't need to tell me,” Rin hissed back.

Rin pressed herself to the wall and began to make her slow way down the hallway, still clinging to Yuzu, with Selena on the end. Rin swore when her hand hit the door on the other side and fumbled to open it. She cracked it slightly open to peer through, and a very thin dull light flooded through, briefly blinding Yuzu from the pitch black.

“It's clear,” Rin said.

She pulled the door the rest of the way open and slid in. Her hand slipped out of Yuzu's and she trotted towards the stairs that lead back up into Himika's office.

“Wait!” Yuzu said. “They would have seen that the door was open—wouldn't they know that someone was here? What if someone's waiting up there?”

She looked at Selena, wondering if Selena's intuition would give them any clues. Selena looked just as uncertain and worried as Yuzu felt.

“Put the torch back,” Yuzu said. “Then we'll try the last door.”

“But that could be a dead end,” Rin said.

“They can't have a whole facility like this with only a single exit,” Yuzu said. “At the very least, we make some distance and find some place to hide out for a while, confuse them.”

Selena looked so white in the very thin light of the room, but she nodded. She put the torch back, and then ran to meet Yuzu as she walked around the desk. Yuzu glanced briefly at the desk, at the list with the shorthand that she could only half read there.

 _My dad can read that shorthand,_ she thought.

Selena and Rin had gotten through the door already. Yuzu decided not to think. She grabbed the page, folded it up, and shoved it into the pocket of her tunic. This could be evidence, to tell people what was really happening down here. Then she hopped through the door after Rin and Selena, and into the next creepy, long room.

It was lit by a cool, eerie blue light from the thin tanks that lined the far sides of the room. Shelves filed down on either side of a thin hall leading to the other side of the room. Yuzu didn't want to stop and look at them as they ran past to the other end, but she took a glance. Were those...vials?

 _Half blood replacement was one of the things on the list,_ Yuzu thought. _Are these...blood vials? How many_ are _there?_

There were still so many mysteries—they had to focus on getting out of here.

They made it to the other end of the room, and Selena grabbed the handle. The handle didn't move. Selena swore, and threw her shoulder against it.

“Sh!” Yuzu said.

“What are we supposed to do now? We're trapped!” Selena said.

“Hang on, if we both hit it at once, it could get us through,” Rin said.

“And then they'll know where we are, and we could be going into another dead end!” Yuzu said.

“You're the one who said to go this way!” Selena said.

Yuzu's head spun—she wasn't sure what to do anymore. She didn't even know what she was doing—why were they doing this??

And then on the far end of the hallway, the door handle turned. Yuzu's heart stopped.

“ _The door was just fucking open. We should make a normal sweep.”_

“ _Who's going to know how to get down here? Just leave it, we need to finish the testing.”_

Yuzu pressed her hands to her mouth. They were right in the open. They could step behind the shelves but they would come straight down the hall and find them—what were they supposed to do?

“What do we do? What do we do?” Rin said.

“We charge them as soon as they come through,” Selena said. “Burst past them and up the stairs before they can see who we are.”

Yuzu felt sick. She should have just told them to go up the stairs, why did she bring them this way?? She was going to get them caught!

 _Goddess_ , she found her thoughts saying. _Please—please help us. Please._

Her mind spun with the sound of the goddess's voice, begging them to stop coming for her, to stop making her fight for them. Did she even have the right to ask for that kind of help?

“Through the door. Now.”

The voice was so sudden that Yuzu almost screamed, and she heard Rin and Selena make choking sounds.

The voice was accompanied by a swoosh of fabric and a hand suddenly on Yuzu's shoulder, shoving her towards the door that had almost certainly not been open before but was now hanging wide open.

“Wh—” she started, but she was being shoved so forcefully that she couldn't get the words out of her mouth, jostled back down her throat instead.

And then the door fluttered shut behind them, and Yuzu and the other two were stumbling forward into the darkness. Yuzu tried to turn her head—what—who—

A hand fell onto her shoulder again and she felt a face lean in beside her head, voice whispering into her ear as a cloak fluttered against Yuzu's arms.

“Go. Stay safe.”

And then just as fast as it had happened, the person was gone. Yuzu turned around, but she could only see a gray door closed tightly behind them, lit dimly by some faraway light. There was no one standing there, and no sign of anyone having passed through the door at all.

“Yuzu, let's go!” Selena hissed, grabbing Yuzu's arm.

Yuzu tore her eyes away from the door and let Selena drag her down the hall, towards the faraway faint light where the exit seemed to be waiting for them.

Yuzu's heart thwumped in her chest, the words of their savior running through her head. They had sounded so familiar...like...like someone else with a cloak like the one she had felt against her arm.

“En?” Yuzu mumbled, her voice swallowed by her own stumbling feet.

 


	27. TWENTY-SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Emil Despair](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlYAIALi_xU)

**** Morning came softly, with the sound of rustling leaves and the twitter of birds as the sun began to filter like stained glass through the canopy. Yuya licked his lips, eyes opening slowly. He felt incredibly heavy. The bed was so warm and cozy, too. When had been the last time he had slept so soundly, or woken so gently?

He yawned, stretching as he rolled up to look towards the ceiling. The little lodges where the Corkoro had let them stay were small, but very cozy. Crow slept on the other cot in this one. Gongenzaka had argued with Crow for several minutes before finally ending up on the floor in between the cots, refusing to leave Yuya for more than a few minutes. It made Yuya's stomach do a little bit of a flip flop, that both of them wanted to take care of him.

Crow and Gongenzaka were still sleeping soundly when Yuya finally sat up, the other three starting to make soft groggy sounds in the back of his head.

He was really thirsty. Yuya licked his lips again and tried to swallow. There was a well outside in the middle of the lodges, he could probably get some water there.  It took a few moments for him to slide out of bed and tiptoe around Gongenzaka on the floor to get to the door. 

Outside, the world was cool and brisk against his skin, and he shivered lightly. It felt nice.

The lodges were two loose circles, one around the other, all of them around the well. The trees hung high overhead, shifting slightly in the breeze and making that lovely rustling sound that had come through the window. He could hear birds, their song twirling through the trees and the flap of their wings as they darted between branches. Yuya sighed, breathing in the lovely, pure scent of the trees.

A soft rustling and murmuring sound caught his attention. Hm? Where was that coming from?

He tilted his head as he walked around one of the buildings, searching for the sound.

“ _ Don't wander too far,” _ Yuuri said.

“Yes, mother,” Yuya muttered.

Yuuri made an offended sound, but Yuya ignored him, looking around the houses. He could hear a faint murmuring and...and was that a small whicker? What was a horse doing out here?

His lips parted as he rounded the lodges, peering out towards where the forest grew thicker around the clear.  Two shadows became clear in the dusty light of the morning.

It was Reiji, and...and Armageddon? Where had Armageddon come from? And how had he gotten in here?

Reiji cupped the horse's face in his hand, his forehead pressed to the horse's head. He murmured softly, words that Yuya couldn't hear from this distance. But as he got closer, the sound of his feet in the grass caught Reiji's attention, and he looked up. Yuya hesitated, shrinking back.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “I wasn't trying to—spy or anything.”

“You're quite all right, Yuya,” Reiji said. “I hope I didn't wake you.”

“N-no, of course not.”

For a second, they both just stood there in silence. Then Reiji tilted his head.

“Is everything alright? You're up quite early.”

Yuya shrugged.

“I'm not used to just being able to...wake up whenever, I guess,” he said.

He bit his lip glancing at Armageddon with a faint murmur of unease. Armageddon was staring at him now, his head lifted up so that it loomed over Reiji, head slightly turned so that he could fix one eye on Yuya. Yuya took another involuntary step back.

“When did Armageddon get here?” he said.

“Sometime in the night, I think. He didn't want to wake us.”

Could horses think that much about what they wanted to do? Yuya didn't say that out loud, though, he didn't want to make the horse angry or anything. He chewed on his lip. Should he even ask  _ how  _ Armageddon had gotten here?

“Armageddon is not your average horse,” Reiji said, in response to Yuya's unspoken question.

“I feel like I kind of figured that much,” Yuya joked. “Uh...what does that mean, though?”

Reiji nodded at him.

“You can come closer. He doesn't bite.”

“Animals don't—”

“Armageddon says you can come closer.  He’s alright with it.”

Yuya hesitated. Armageddon was so  _ big _ . His throat felt dry.

But in spite of himself, he found one foot moving forward. Then his other. Slowly, one step at a time, he brought himself almost even with Reiji, looking up at Armageddon nervously. Sure, he couldn't die, but...a horse that size could deal some serious damage...

“Hold your hand out like this,” Reiji said. He demonstrated, holding his hand out flat. Yuya tried, and Reiji carefully fixed his fingers. “There you go.”

Yuya trembled a bit, his hand outstretched and flat. Armageddon whuffled once, dropping his nose towards Yuya's hand. His nose snuffled at Yuya's palm for a moment, and Yuya was almost positive that he was going to bite—

Armageddon let out a heavy sighing sound, and took a great step forward so that he could push his head gently against Yuya's face. O-oh—he was soft!

Yuya carefully put his hands against Armageddon's chin, petting softly. His heart fizzed all at once. He—he was petting him. Armageddon wasn't trying to bite or trample or anything.

“He likes you.”

“T-that's good,” Yuya said, feeling a bit heady with the victory.

“It's not just anyone that can ride a puca,” another voice said, cutting over Yuya's brief moment of dizzy relief.

Yuya tore his eyes away from Armageddon long enough to see Shun walking towards them, looking over Reiji with softly narrowed eyes. Reiji, for his part, only raised an eyebrow back.

“And?” he said.

“ _ What's a puca?” _ Yuya asked the others in his mind.

“ _ I dunno,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ Puca are an ancient breed of horse,” _ Yuuri said in a clipped tone.  _ “They appear as large black horses, but legends say they possess the power of shapeshifting. It's also said that they only respond to those from certain lines of noble blood—to others, they can be vicious carnivores.” _

Yuya almost flinched, but he didn't take his hand away from Armageddon. The horse seemed to be enjoying his touch, so Yuya continued to pet him. It was really soft.

Shun reached them then and paused, taking a stance like a soldier with his feet apart and his hands clasped behind his back. Armageddon made a huffing sound against Yuya's hand.

“And,” Shun said. “I'm starting to wonder exactly who you are, Reiji. Especially since Kaito won't tell me.”

Reiji only blinked at him, his lips pressed together.

“I don't see how that's relevant,” he said.

“I think it is,” Shun said. “We're going to be traveling together. I think we deserve to know the whole truth, don't you? Especially since you've already made Yuya and Yuto bare their entire selves to an entire audience of strangers.”

“It's...it's okay if he doesn't want to share,” Yuya said, but Shun just kind of half glared at him and Yuya shut up.

Shun's eyes went back to Reiji and Reiji looked back at him passively. Yuya had no idea how long the stare-off would have lasted if it wasn't for the sudden appearance of Tsukikage.

Yuya yelped when Tsukikage materialized from the trees in a place he certainly hadn't been before, causing both Reiji and Shun to look too. Tsukikage blinked at the two of them. Then he turned to Reiji and signed at him. Reiji nodded.

“You're right. We should get moving. Are the others awake?”

Tsukikage signed again.

“Drag Sawatari out of bed by his ankles if you have to.”

Tsukikage let out a breathy sound that might have been a laugh, and then he disappeared.

Reiji turned his eyes back to Shun.

“I don't believe we have the time for my back story today,” he said. “If and when I choose to share it, it will be at my own discretion.”

Shun's lips tightened and his eyes narrowed. Yuya could only look back and forth between them, nervous.

Shun finally released the gaze first, scowling. He gave Reiji a look that seemed to say 'we'll discuss this later', but then turned to Yuya, and his gaze softened.

“Come on, you should eat something before we go,” he said.

“Okay,” Yuya said, flushing slightly.

He glanced back once at Reiji and his strange horse before following Shun. But Reiji had turned back to Armageddon, and was once again whispering softly to the horse.

* * *

Somehow, Armageddon appeared waiting for them again when they made their way out of the dark part of the woods, leaving Corkoro behind. In Yuya's heart, Yuto was aching.

“ _ It's the last time I'll see home,” _ he said quietly, and Yuya felt his own heart ache, too. They were going to find a way to die. And that meant...that meant Yuya, too, would never see that beautiful place ever again. He tried to hide the tears by ducking his head from the others.

He was pretty sure Gongenzaka saw, though, because he felt a large hand fall onto his shoulder, and squeeze gently.

“Which way are we to go?” Reiji said, placing his hand on Armageddon's neck.

Shun nodded off towards the left.

“It's about a day's walk,” he said. “If we walk steadily and take few breaks.”

Yuya privately moaned in his head. More walking. He wasn't sure if he could handle it. Shun glanced at Gongenzaka and Crow then.

“This is where I tell you that it's probably for the best if the two of you don't accompany us,” he said. “Rayglen will not take kindly to resistance leaders being brought to their sanctuary so soon after cutting off support.”

Gongenzaka let out a low rumble.

“If you think I'm letting Yuya out of my sight, you're mistaken,” he said.

“Don't you have a resistance to help lead?” Shun said, raising an eyebrow.

“Not me,” Crow said, stepping forward. “Aki and Shinji have that taken care of.”

Yuya's heart fluttered. Did that mean...?

Crow caught Yuya's gaze, and flashed him a smile.

“I'm not leaving you behind,” he said. “I know I said I'd turn back as soon as we found someone to bring you to Corkoro, but...”

He licked his lips, and looked down.

“I...I feel like I have to see this through to the end.”

Yuya felt his heart clench up, and tears bubbled to his eyes. Yuuri snorted.

“ _ Stupid,” _ he mumbled. Yuya knew that he didn't think it was stupid at all.

“Thank you,” Yuya said.

Shun only shrugged.

“Whatever,” he said. “You all won't have to take the scolding for leading you all there...”

Tsukikage shrugged at Shun helplessly, and Sawatari just grinned, strumming something on his lute and mumbling something about writing a song about a surly guide.

Reiji ran his hand along Armageddon's neck, and nodded. He glanced at Yuya.

“As soon as you get tired, let us know,” he said. “Armageddon will let you take breaks riding him.”

“I don't know how to ride a horse,” Yuya said.

“It's fine. Armageddon won't drop you.”

“I'll be fine,” Yuya said, blushing.

“ _ No you won't, you'll practically die again,”  _ Yugo said.

“Shush, Yugo,” Yuya muttered.

“How come you never let me take breaks on Armageddon?” Sawatari said.

“Because he doesn't like you,” Reiji said, matter-of-fact, making Sawatari make an offended huff.

Reiji simply shrugged, then guided Armageddon by the hand on his neck in the direction that Shun had indicated.

“Lead on,” he said to Shun.

Shun sent Reiji a faint glare, but he took the lead.

Almost silently, they fell into a sort of formation. Tsukikage fell to the rear to watch their backs, Gongenzaka and Crow taking up places on either side of Yuya, with Reiji and Armageddon directly in front. Sawatari wandered just behind Yuya, but unlike the others, he kept wandering off to inspect a tree or a series of mushrooms, fingers twitching for the lute on his back but never quite pulling it off.

“I'd be careful if I were you,” Shun called back to Sawatari. “Fleshvines like to eat traveling bards.”

Sawatari sent Shun's back a dry glare, but he fell back into place near Yuya.

“What are you looking for?” Yuya said.

“Inspiration,” Sawatari said, dramatically throwing one hand over his forehead. Yuya couldn’t help but laugh.

“What made you want to become a bard?” Yuya asked. They had been walking for what felt like forever, and the silence was getting haunting. He suspected he had scared all the birds away, so he didn't hear much birdsong.

“It's not a very exciting tale,” Sawatari said. “I could write a better one.”

“But I want to hear the real one,” Yuya said. “I'm sure it's exciting enough.”

Sawatari shrugged, and for the first time, Yuya was surprised to see that he looked a tad sour. Sawatari lifted up one of his hands, looking at the back of it. There was a thin gold ring there, Yuya could see now, glinting in the light.

“My father was a minor nobleman in Meiying,” he said. “He had a dalliance with a traveling entertainer. Once she had me, he forced her to stay with him until she offed herself.”

Sawatari sent Yuya a dry grin as Yuya felt his stomach clench.

“I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up something like that,” he said.

Sawatari shrugged.

“Like I said, not very exciting,” he said. He stretched, cracking his back. “Anyway. I found out what happened to her when I was about twelve. Got mad, argued with papa, other nobles found out I was illegitimate, decided to leave before they all murdered me. Got lucky and fell in with a troupe that taught me storysinging.”

Sawatari smiled at Yuya, putting one finger against his nose.  Sawatari didn’t seem very upset but...Yuya was kind of regretting bringing it up.

“But I always like to tell the better story, the one where I'm the lost prince of Shizenrei on the run, telling stories to gather information about my enemies to one day take back my throne.”

Reiji let out a faint snort, and Sawatari threw a smile at his back.

“What? I thought you loved that story, too, Reiji—”

_ We'll shoot that one first, and then— _

The thought hit Yuya with such force that he almost choked. Automatically, he reached for Sawatari—too slow.

There was a soft  _ thwump _ , Sawatari's eyes bulged, and he staggered forward, falling against Yuya and almost taking them both down.

“Sawatari??” Yuya said. “Sawatari!”

Oh  _ demons— _ there was a—there was an arrow in his back—

“F-fine,” Sawatari said. “It's—just my shoulder, I'm fine—”

Gongenzaka let out a roar, ripping his enormous bow from his back and throwing an arrow to the string, immediately firing in the direction the shot had come from. Someone shrieked, and then a shape fell out of the trees. Armageddon screamed. The great horse lifted off onto his back legs, pawing at the sky with a fierce shriek. Crow swore as he fumbled to get his knife off of his belt, Tsukikage was already shooting into the trees, and Shun materialized a set of thin black knives between his fingers.

“We're fucking surrounded,” Shun hissed. “How did I—”

And then a man surged out of a foliage covered trap inches from Shun, swinging a broadsword at his head, and Shun had to duck and roll out of the way.

The sounds of metal clanged, and all around Yuya, thoughts clattered and rushed over each other, angry thoughts at opponents and wanting to attack and kill and fight—

Yuya just let himself sag to the ground with Sawatari in his arms, trying to bend himself over Sawatari to block him from any other attacks.

“Sawatari, hang in there!” he said.

Sawatari, however, was trying to struggle to sit upright, his face going white. He fumbled for the arrow in his back, and before Yuya could shout at him to stop, he winced and snapped it, leaving half of it in the wound and the other half to look at the fletching on the shaft. He gasped as he leaned against Yuya. His free hand curled into the back of Yuya's shirt.

“Reiji,” he mumbled. “Y-Yuya, they're not just bandits, they're assassins, they're after Reiji—”

“What??”

Why would they be after Reiji? Wouldn't they be after  _ him _ ? Still, Yuya looked up, frantic, searching for any sign of Reiji anywhere.

There!

Reiji had swung himself onto Armageddon's back, and the horse shrieked as he reared again, Reiji with one hand in Armageddon's mane and the other brandishing his pistol. His eyes flashed behind his glasses with an absolute cold fury, and he shot off one perfect bullet into the head of someone who grabbed for his leg and tried to pull him from the horse. The man dropped immediately, and Yuya's stomach turned.

Reiji was at an advantage on Armageddon's back against the foot soldiers, as Armageddon twisted and turned and kicked, crushing a few heads with just his hooves.  Somehow Reiji’s aim was remarkable from atop the wheeling horse, too, and several more loud cracks echoed through the space as he pulled the trigger again and again.

But—but he was at a much higher position, which would make him easier for arrows to hit—

Yuya saw at least two fly past Reiji, barely missing him due to Armageddon's wild movements. Yuya's eyes flashed up towards the trees. They must be up there!

Yuya squeezed Sawatari's shoulder.

“Stay here, stay safe! Get close to Gongenzaka!”

Sawatari nodded, looking white faced. He got himself onto his hands and knees, though, and crawled towards safety as he fumbled weakly for the knife at his belt. Yuya staggered to his feet.

“ _ What are you going to do?” _ Yuuri said.

Yuya flexed his fingers, licking his lips.

“Yuto is going to teach me how to climb a tree,” he said.

To Yuya's eternal gratitude, Yuto did not even try to argue with him that there was no time or that Yuya wouldn't know how.

“ _ Run to that one, I think I hear them up there!” _

Yuya bolted towards the tree, ducking under the flash of swords from his other friend's confrontations. Sawatari seemed to be right—the bandits, despite being dressed shabbily enough to be ordinary bandits, all seemed to ignore him, going towards Reiji. Yuya wasn't sure if it was because he seemed the greater threat, or if it was because something else was going on.

He reached the base of the tree—there were no branches lower than almost twenty feet, and Yuya scrabbled uselessly at the bark.

“ _ Don't act like you need a handhold,” _ Yuto instructed.  _ “Feel the tree itself—ask it to allow you forward.” _

It sounded strange to Yuya, but he obeyed, pressing his hands to the bark.

_ Please, _ he thought.  _ Please. Let me up. I need to help my friends. _

He reached up, pressing his hands gently to the tree.

Inexplicably, he felt his hands hold. He gasped—but he decided not to question it too much, in case the spell broke.

“ _ That's it!”  _ Yuto said.  _ “I think the forest still remembers me!!” _

That was enough for Yuya. He carefully reached his hands a little farther forward, pressing into the bark and constantly, silently begging the tree to keep holding him. His arms ached within a few seconds, but he kept climbing.

He screamed when an arrow grazed him, and realized that the archers in the tree had seen him coming.

_ Little bastard, how the fuck is he doing that? Must be one of those forestfucks, I'll shoot him down from here and let 'em crash— _

A second clatter of thoughts of similar intent fluttered through Yuya's mind—yes, this was where both of the archers were. He hoped there weren't any more in the surrounding trees. Pressing himself as close to the bark as possible, he continued to climb, trying to pretend that Yuto was the one doing this instead of him just coaching him. Yuto would have been able to do this by himself with no problem, right? No, don't think about it, just keep climbing—

An arrow caught him in the top of the shoulder and he lost his grip. He screamed, dangling from the tree by one hand. T-there was a branch very close. He could get to that.

With some effort, he managed to swing his dangling arm towards it. It was so painful, but he pulled himself onto the branch and straddled it.

When he looked up, he came face to face with an arrowhead pointed at his forehead. A dryness spread through his mouth. That wouldn't kill him, but oh demons, it would hurt. And it would hurt a lot to fall, too.

“End of the hero's road for you, kid,” the grizzled archer snarled at him.

“ _ Grab his bow and yank on it,”  _ Yugo shouted.

Yuya didn't think—he just did what Yugo said. He snatched at the bow and yanked as hard as he could. The man yelped, but the surprise attack had thrown him off balance. He was so focused on holding onto his weapon that it was too late before he thought to drop it and start wheeling for the branches behind him—

Yuya winced, feeling his heart go cold as he heard the man scream—and heard the scream cut off with a cracking thwump.

_ I-I killed him,  _ he thought. He had to grab onto the branch to support himself.  _ Demons. I-I actually killed him. _

“ _ Yuya, we kill people all the time, now get off your ass and get the other one!” _ Yuuri shouted.

N-no, it wasn't the same, when he killed people in his rages, he didn't know what he was doing, he didn't remember it happening, but this, this was too much, he had actually done it himself with his own two hands, he had pulled on the man and made him drop all the way to the ground where he had just—broken—

It was a cry of pain down below that got Yuya startled out of his shock. It sounded like Crow, or Gongenzaka , but he wasn't sure, he was too dizzy. Either way—his friends were still in danger. He had to go.

He heard swearing in the brain of the archer above him, and began to climb again. He was getting into thick branches now, and he could swing himself from one to the other and clamber up with better handholds, instead of just trusting in the tree to hold him.

The second archer's face whitened when he saw Yuya—he was  _ young _ , Yuya thought with a sudden clenching. He was only a little older than Yuya himself.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other.

And then the young man dropped his bow and quiver down from the branches, holding his hands up.

“Please,” he mumbled. “I just—I needed the money.”

Yuya just sat there, and breathed. The boy was completely unarmed now.

“I just didn't want you to hurt my friends,” he said.

The boy stared at him with tears in his eyes.

And then below, Yuya heard a low cry of victory, and his eyes flashed down from the trees to see—

Armageddon was on the ground, flailing his legs uselessly, ropes having grabbed his legs and caused him to fall.

And Reiji was struggling from the grip of a man almost twice his size, caught by the hair and lifted just inches from the ground. He tried to peel at the fingers in his hair, but the man was much stronger than him, and laughed at Reiji's attempts.

“Your little cat-and-mouse game is ending here,  _ prince, _ ” the man said. “Your head is going to bring me a fuckton of riches.”

The giant sword brandished at the man's side, and Reiji's jaw clenched as he tried to lean back from blade coming for his neck—

Yuya barely thought. He heard the boy behind him cry out with shock, heard Yugo and Yuto scream at him, but he just did it anyway. He pulled himself to the end of the tree, angled himself at the man below, and jumped.

The fall seemed to take years. There was nothing, for a moment, but the echoing silence of air rushing past his ears.

And then there was the impact.

He had aimed correctly, his body impacting with the man's head. Underneath him, he heard a soft gasp, and tiny crack, and then they were both on the ground and Yuya felt far too many bones in his body shatter.

There was pain, and then there was just—emptiness. He could barely feel the lump of the man underneath him. It was unmoving, but still warm, and he felt bile rise up in his throat. He was so dizzy—his vision was blacking out.

The last thing he heard before he passed out were his friends shouting his name.

_ Ah, _ Yuya thought, closing his eyes.  _ I think...I must have worried them... _

  
  



	28. TWENTY EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Forest Kingdom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10A5egJh6OQ)

**** Yuya awoke slowly to the flickering light of a campfire. He let out a tiny gasp—for just a moment, ghost pains assaulted his brain, and he lay there paralyzed. And then it all disappeared, and he was left lying on the ground, staring up at the faraway, dark tree canopy, fluttering in a night breeze that let some of the stars peek between the leaves.

“Are you awake?”

The voice was thin and uncertain, wavering, and Yuya blinked through groggy eyes, turning his head. Reiji was the one sitting next to him, his face lit by the fire beside him. He looked gaunt in the outline of firelight, his eyes clouded, haunted. Yuya swallowed—his throat was dry.

“Y-yeah,” he said.

“How are you feeling?”

Yuya flexed his fingers, and they responded easily. His body felt all right, he thought as he slowly sat up. No dizziness. He must have gotten a lot of sleep.

“Was I holding up the journey...?” Yuya said, looking around and realizing that they had barely moved from the area where the fight had broken out. He recognized the shape of the trees.

Reiji's lips tightened.

“Yuya, nearly every bone in your body was shattered. We could handle a few hours to give you time to rest.”

Considering they had started in the early morning, and it was already full dark, Yuya knew it had been more than just a few hours, but he didn't say anything. Reiji looked very pale and distressed, and Yuya didn't want to make him more upset. He hesitated, then, biting his lip as he glanced up at Reiji.

Reiji didn't meet his gaze this time though, leaned back to pick up a water pouch and passing it to him.

“You should drink something. There's food, too, if you think you can stomach it.”

Yuya mumbled a thank you. The water was very appreciated as he squeezed it into his mouth. He only intended to drink a few mouthfuls, but he was so thirsty that he found himself almost finishing the entire pouch.

When he came up for air, Reiji had stood up, walking around the fire to touch Gongenzaka's shoulder. Yuya realized that Gongenzaka was sitting on a stump on the other side of the fire, his arms crossed. He stirred at the touch, eyes opening, and looking briefly disoriented.

“I told you not to let me fall asleep,” he growled, but Reiji simply shrugged. “Where are Crow and Shun?”

“Here,” Shun said, appearing from the shadows and into the firelight, with Crow in his wake. “Sawatari. How's your shoulder?”

Yuya's eyes moved to the side of the fire across from him, and he realized that Sawatari was sitting across from him, almost hidden behind the fire. He looked pale too, and simply shrugged.

“Healing,” he said. “I won't be able to play very well for a while.”

“I'm sure you'll manage,” Shun said dryly. “Tsukikage is still out. Checking the area.”

He sent Reiji a harsh glare over the flames, his lips tightening.

“I see Yuya's awake,” he said. “So are you going to stop making us wait to hear why the fuck we just got sprung by actual assassins?”

Yuya swallowed, his eyes fluttering towards Reiji.

Reiji wasn't looking at him, or any of them. His jaw clenched up. While the silence dragged on, Gongenzaka got off of his stump, moving over to Yuya and sitting beside him, wrapping a hand around his shoulders gently.  Too gently, as though he feared the slightest touch would make Yuya shatter like porcelain.

“Are you all right?” he said, sounding pained.

Yuya nodded.

“I'm fine—a little something like that can't kill me,” he said, trying to sound like he was joking.

Gongenzaka's hand seemed a little hesitant, but he squeezed Yuya's shoulder faintly anyway. Crow made his way around the fire too, squinting at Yuya and looking him up and down.

“Goddess,” he swore. “Just a few hours ago, you looked...”

Crow looked sick. Yuya winced in spite of himself. Falling from that far of a distance must have really fucked him over. He was really upset that he had had to make his friends see that...

Crow rose and turned on Reiji then, his fists at his sides.

“I'm with Shun,” he said. “I want to know why you forced Yuya to do that to himself.”

“No one forced me to do anything,” Yuya said, but no one seemed to be listening to him.

Reiji held up a hand before anyone else could say anything, though, closing his eyes.

“I have every intention of telling you,” he said. “Please. Just...a moment.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

“First,” he said, eyes opening, and looking past Crow to see Yuya. “An apology, and a word of gratitude, Yuya. Were it not for my being here, you likely would not have been attacked so soon. And were it not for your act, I would most certainly be dead.”

He looked down at his hands. He breathed in a deep sigh.

“In hindsight, sometimes I wonder why people don't realize it right away,” he said. “The truth is this: I am Reiji Akaba, and I am the crown prince of Shizenrei, last holy city of the goddess.”

For a moment, no one spoke.

And then Shun swore, running a hand down his face.

“I'm so stupid,” he growled. “The puca. The name. The fact that Kaito knows you. Everything about you—how the fuck didn't I know?”

“What does Armageddon and Reiji's name have to do with that...?” Yuya said tentatively. He didn't get it.

Yuuri decided to answer in his head before anyone else could.

“ _ Reiji is a very common name in Shizenrei because it's one of a few names that derive from the character that Shize people use to write the goddess's name,” _ Yuuri said, reciting it off like it was some lesson he had been forced to memorize.  _ “And puca horses are almost exclusively used by the royal family.” _

Yuuri hummed.

“ _ Shizenrei was taken over by Zarkania right around when you met me. I didn't know any of the royal family was still alive.” _

Reiji looked down at the ground, making a soft laughing sound in response to Shun's outburst.

“I'm often surprised at how few people realize, too,” he said. “Perhaps it's the goddess watching over me.”

He said that last bit with just the barest bit of tired venom. Yuya blinked at that, leaning forward. What was Reiji upset about?

“You've been on the run all this time?” Shun said. “Why haven't you tried to join the rebellion in Shizenrei? Why haven't you tried to take your throne back?”

“There are extenuating circumstances,” Reiji said, tersely. “And perhaps if you wouldn't interrupt me, I could get through some of them.”

Shun closed his mouth, glowering as though Reiji had called him out just before he was about to interrupt. Reiji sighed again, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“I tried to go back,” he said. “Almost as soon as the attack happened, Tsukikage and Hikage were able to rescue me and get me outside the walls. I couldn't say the same for my father or my brother.”

His lips tightened.

“My father is dead, and my younger brother Reira is now a prisoner. I thought to rescue Reira, and then join the resistance. We went back, all three of us, with barely more than a hope and a faith that the goddess might steer us.”

Reiji clenched his jaw, and his fists curled up against his knees.

“I was barely more than twelve then. We didn't know what we were doing—I was caught. And that was the day that I had the lovely fortune to meet the High Priest of the Inner Circle.”

Yuya felt himself choke. Reiji's eyes flickered to Yuya, and he grimaced.

“I'm sure you knew him more intimately than I, and for that, I am truly sorry,” he said. “Jean-Michel Roger was horrid enough in five minutes, much less five years.”

Reiji's lip curled as he looked down.

“He had Hikage murdered in the throne room. Tsukikage had his tongue removed. As a 'punishment' for me, who would not submit to the Empire.”

Yuya covered his mouth with one hand, trying to still the bile rising up in his throat. Oh demons. T-that was why Tsukikage couldn't speak.

“And then, simply for his amusement, he decided to send me back out into the world, with this to keep me from straying across the border of my own homeland.”

Reiji tugged on the edge of his scarf, pulling it down to reveal a thick black collar fastened around his neck. Yuya recognized a few of the runes—he had been bound with similar chains, ones that wouldn't let him cross the threshold of his prison during his episodes, just in case he managed to break the door down. Oh demons....Reiji couldn't even go home. That chain would prevent him from ever crossing the border of Shizenrei, unless it could be removed.

“He thought it would be funny to send people on a hunting game after me,” Reiji said, his voice tight. “I don’t think he expected me to live for this long.  I've been barely keeping one step ahead of them for most of my life since then, while trying to find some way to get this blasted thing off of me.”

His fingers curled into his scarf as though he wanted to choke himself, but then he released the fabric.

“That's why I was in the capital,” Reiji said. “Because...if I am going to be entirely honest with you, Yuya, I thought to take you as a hostage, to bargain for my country back.”

He looked almost apologetically towards Yuya, but Yuya just shrugged. It wasn't like it bothered him to know that.

“But what about all that—that stuff you were saying about researching the goddess and the demon?” Crow said. “Where does that play into this?”

“Reiji's trying to find Sanctuary,” Sawatari said, his voice so quiet that it only barely caught everyone's attention.

Reiji looked across at Sawatari, but Sawatari just looked back at him, in a rare moment of serious expression.

“You didn't want them to know?” Sawatari said.

Reiji shook his head.

“I would have gotten to it,” he said. “Yes. I'm trying to find Sanctuary.”

“What's...Sanctuary?” Yuya said.

Reiji hummed softly.

“The royal family of Shizenrei is said to have been appointed by the goddess herself,” he said. “We are heirs to and protectors of her main temple. As the crown prince, it was to be my duty to maintain the temple and facilitate the rituals that would have allowed her followers to speak with her. And so, we were to learn many lessons.”

“Sanctuary is a secret,” Sawatari said. “Technically, only the royal family is supposed to know—but there's an old ballad that I learned with my troupe that had clues about it.”

“What is Sanctuary supposed to be?” Crow said. “You're dancing around the question.”

“Sanctuary is said to be where the goddess retreated after the last war against the demon,” Reiji said. “It's where she lives, Crow. The goddess is still alive, and in this world.”

For a moment, there was only silence.

Yuya felt the air slowly deflating out of his chest. He didn't know why this was such a shocking idea to him. After all, he was here, wasn't he? He was the demon—or at least, a copy of the original, here in this time. But then again...he had almost assumed that the goddess was the same. That there was only lingering bits of her, condensed, maybe, into the one who would be the goddess's champion. The goddess herself was no longer around, was she?

If she was, why was she letting all of this happen?

Why wasn't she coming to stop Yuya herself?

“Sawatari has been helping me,” Reiji said. “He's learned many of the old stories that even the royal family did not manage to maintain.”

Sawatari shrugged, but some of his old self-confidence returned to his face with a tiny, smug smile.

“What are you going to do if you find Sanctuary?” Shun asked.

Reiji glanced across towards Yuya, catching his eyes. For a moment, they only looked at each other.

“I suppose you and I have been looking for similar things,” Reiji said. “We're both looking for a goddess to save us.”

Yuya licked his suddenly dry lips.

“You want to ask the goddess to come down and save your country, don't you?” Yuya said.

Reiji nodded. For a moment, Yuya just sat there, looking down at his hands. Then he looked back up at Reiji.

“What about all the things you said about...about the potential of humanity?” Yuya said.

Reiji sighed.

“I won't say that my interest in finding the goddess is entirely selfless,” he said. “I...I have to know. I have to know why...why she's abandoned us. If she is truly alive...if she's choosing a champion...why isn't she among us anymore, like the tales said she used to be?”

His lips tightened, and he grasped his fingers together.

“If she won't help me, I will take back my country by my own hands and on my own,” he said. “I wish only for her strength and her knowledge—but if she will not impart it, then I will know that for much of my life, my trust has been misplaced.”

The words hung in the air between all of them for a very, very long time. Yuya's head spun. The goddess...could be alive...?

The same question that Reiji was posing swirling through his head.

_ Then why isn't she doing anything? _

Finally, Reiji broke the silence again with a sigh.

“So,” he said, lifting his eyes to Shun. “Does that adequately satisfy your need for knowledge?”

Shun held his gaze for a long, long moment. Then he just sighed, rubbing his temple with the heel of his hand.

“I don't know why you had to make it such a big secret,” he said. “But yes. I'm satisfied.”

He looked Reiji over briefly.

“So, what will you do when you get to Rayglen? What do you hope to find there?”

“Clues on the location of Sanctuary,” Reiji said. He hesitated, for only a brief moment. But Sawatari took over for him.

“And the truth about what happened between the goddess and the demon before and during the war.”

Yuya felt his lips part, and he looked up across the flames at Sawatari. With the fire right in between them, almost in front of Sawatari's face, something about him looked eerie and otherwordly.

“What truth?” Crow said. “We already know what happened. The demon tried to kill humans, the goddess stopped him.”

“Why did the demon try to kill the humans?” Sawatari said tersely. “Don't you remember us talking about the Tenets of Duality? About how the goddess and the demon are both necessary to the existence of life? Why would the demon have helped in the creation of humanity only to destroy it later?”

“I fail to see what this has to do with anything,” Gongenzaka grumbled.

Sawatari made a strangled sound, and Reiji reached under his scarf. He tugged something free of his shirt, lifting it up so that it caught the firelight.

Something in Yuya clenched—and he felt like, somehow, inexplicably, he had seen that object before.

It dangled, swinging back and forth slowly—it was a thin blue crystal, wrapped in what appeared to be two feathered wings, and it swayed like...like a pendulum.

“What is that?” Yuya breathed.

“This is supposed to be the key to Sanctuary,” Reiji said. “It's been passed down in the royal family for generations—but none of us know how to use it.”

He looked at Yuya.

“My family believed that it was created by the goddess. But Sawatari's stories tell a different tale—they say it was created by both goddess and demon.  Like the Tenets of Duality, it moves back and forth...back and forth.  Creation begets destruction, destruction begets creation.”

Yuya felt an inexplicable desire to reach for the pendulum, to touch it, feel its weight. Reiji sighed, and let the pendant fall to his neck.

“In the end, it's hard to explain the answers when you're not even sure what questions you're searching for,” Reiji said. “Just let it be said that there are...discrepancies about everything. And were it not for my expulsion from my home...I might never have known to look for them. I want to know what's true, and what future it bodes for not just my country, but for our world.”

His eyes lifted once more to Yuya, and Yuya felt a faint shudder run down his back.

“I think there is more to your story than simply going to your death,” he said, soft and quiet.

Yuya's throat closed up, and he could not respond. He simply leaned a little harder into Gongenzaka, and his friend pulled him a little closer.

Reiji sighed.

“I think that's enough for one night,” he said. “We should all get some more rest if we want to make the final push to Rayglen tomorrow.”

Yuya curled his fingers into the leaves.

“ _ What do you guys think?” _ he thought at the boys in his head.  _ “You've been really quiet.” _

The other three hesitated, shifting uneasily.

“ _ I don't think we know what to think,” _ was all Yuto said.

* * *

The woods began to get more and more green the farther they went, changing from the solid browns and golds of the fallen leaves and stately trees, and graduating slowly into thinner, more artistically twisted trees, with elegant branches and tiny dotted leaves that created dapples of light and shadow on the ground. Grasses began to grow instead of being choked out by a layer of leaves, soft and twisting against Yuya's feet. He breathed out, staring up at the sky overhead with some awe. There were flowers growing between the trees, and from bushes, too—oh, was that an apple tree? He could see big round fruits growing from it!

“We're getting very close,” Shun said, bringing them to a stop. “Getting in is simple if you know what to do.”

He pointed down between the trees, and after squinting for a moment, Yuya could see a thin deer trail.

“You walk down that for ten steps, counted out. Then clap your hands once and bow—the path that leads into Rayglen will appear. We have to go one or two at a time, because that's as much as it will open up for. And then you have to wait about ten minutes before sending people through again.”

“Guess they're not used to many visitors at once,” Crow said, examining the trail.

Shun snorted, as though the statement were dumb, but he simply nodded.

“I...I recommend we wait,” Reiji said suddenly, and all of them turned towards him.

“What for?” Yuya said.

Reiji looked uneasy.

“A feeling,” he said. “I...at the very least, Yuya, I think you should wait. Back here along with someone else, while the rest of us go and see the situation in Rayglen. Kaito's words have...troubled me. I don't want you to get hurt.”

Yuya looked at him, feeling one eyebrow raise.

“Reiji, I'm here to find a way to die,” he said. “Getting hurt is kind of part of the package deal.”

Reiji didn't crack even a sarcastic smile at that, looking uncomfortable.

“Still,” he said. “I don't believe you should be going first.”

“I think I'm going to agree with Reiji,” Gongenzaka said, huffing and nodding. “You should stay here where it's safe, until we figure out what's going on in there.”

“I'll stay back with you, Yuya, it'll be fine,” Crow said.

“Or I will,” Gongenzaka shot at Crow, and for a moment, they briefly glared at each other, and then Crow actually snorted, and Gongenzaka half smiled.

“We'll both stay back here with you, Yuya,” Crow said, reaching out to squeezed Yuya on the shoulder. “Besides—Reiji, Shun, Sawatari, and Tsukikage seem to know more about this stuff than us, yeah? They'll scope out the place for us first.”

Yuya's heart thrummed in his chest. They wanted him to wait? When he was—he was so close, he could almost taste it. He had to get in there, and he had to find the goddess's champion right now. There had to be one here, right? He could get it to end, right here, right now.

He could finish everything in this moment.

He felt dizzy as he stepped back out of Crow's grip, and Crow's smile faltered.

“Stop it,” Yuya said, feeling tears bubble in his eyes. “I—I'm going to die...I'm going to die, and all of you are going to be upset, just like you were when I got hurt yesterday. Even though you knew I couldn't die, you were all upset.”

“Of course we were upset!” Gongenzaka said. “Not being able to die doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to see you get hurt—”

“And see, that's a problem!” Yuya said, his panic spiking in his chest. “Because—because I don't think it's really hit any of you yet! I'm going to  _ die _ . I'm going to be  _ gone _ . You might even see the goddess execute me. That's going to  _ hurt! _ ”

He was crying, he realized, and in his head, Yuto was trying and failing to whisper something soothing, but he was starting to cry too. Yugo was sobbing already, and even Yuuri was silent.

“You won't get to see Yuto anymore, not even pretend to be able to see him,” Yuya shot at Shun, who visibly flinched. “Gongenzaka, we won't get to catch up on any lost time, because I'm going to disappear!”

Gongenzaka whitened, and his jaw clenched.

“C-Crow, you took me all this way, and you were so k-kind to me, and I know it's going to make you hurt so badly when I die, but I don't think you've even thought about the fact that it's going to happen. You wouldn't have kept traveling with me all the way here otherwise!”

He felt so sick and dizzy. Crow's lips parted, and he actually reached for Yuya, but Yuya stepped back, hugging himself and trembling. He looked up at Reiji and Sawatari and Tsukikage then, and all three of them looked back—Reiji with the same cool, blank expression as always.

“A-and you guys keep bringing up the Duality stuff, like that's supposed to—supposed to change something,” he babbled. “But it won't—I'm going to die...and if you all keep c-caring about me, it's just going to hurt you—!”

“Yuya,” Crow started, reaching for him again, but Yuya staggered back.

He couldn't stay here. He couldn't stay here and see them all looking at him like they were worried about him. H-he was such a terrible person—such a  _ demon _ . He had lured them all in and made them care, and then he was going to force them to deal with him dying.

He had to finish it.

He whipped around, and before anyone could stop him, charged down the deer path. He heard shouting, but he was too busy counting to hear.

_ One, two, three, four— _

He wasn't sure if running steps counted, but he couldn't stop to try and take the steps slowly. He skidded to a stop at ten. He clapped his hands together so hard that they stung, and bowed low.

And immediately, he wasn't standing on the deer trail anymore. He was, instead, on a pearly white cobblestone path, looked out over a low meadow and clearing, a beautiful, sparse forest and the sound of a trickling river near by.

Gasping for breath, he chanced a glance over his shoulder. The path seemed to just continue into the woods forever—there was no sign of the deer trail, or his friends. He had...he had a few minutes before the path would be open for them to follow him again.

The gravity of what he had just done, then, suddenly hit him in the stomach, and he staggered, falling against a tree. He felt so dizzy, and he could barely see for the tears in his eyes.

“D-did—was that right?” Yuya mumbled.

Yuto and Yugo were too upset to answer. Yuuri, however, grunted softly.

“ _ Who knows if it was right,” _ he said.  _ “But...if it makes you feel better, I think it's better that they don't keep getting more attached to us.” _

Yuya choked for a moment, and pressed a hand to his mouth. His mind kept fluttering to images of Crow nagging him to eat, Gongenzaka pulling him up against him comfortingly, Reiji offering him a potato, Sawatari strumming a song for him, Armageddon dropping his huge nose against his shoulder. Quiet Tsukikage nodding at him with a sparkle in his eye, gruff Shun getting a small tear in his eye that he tried to hide when Yuya relayed something from Yuto that made Shun more emotional than he wanted to admit.

“Y-You're right,” Yuya mumbled, swaying as he tried to stand. “And...and we shouldn't have..gotten so attached either...”

Yuuri was silent at that, and so it was Yuya, and only Yuya, who had to stand in the silence and look out towards the world of Rayglen. He had to find the goddess's champion. She must be here somewhere, right?

He saw movement in the trees. Despite everything, he froze automatically, tense—wanting to flee. No. He couldn't run...he had to face this. He had to...he had to die. That was the promise he had made, right?

He steeled himself, forced strength into his feet, and forced himself forward. One step at a time, he moved towards the copse of trees where he was sure that he had seen movement.

And then, suddenly, someone stepped out of the trees, dressed all in white, glancing back over her shoulder as though checking to make sure no one was near. Her eyes turned back forward, deep blue shining eyes that glittered under magenta bangs, and her eyes widened, lips parting at the sight of Yuya.

Yuya almost choked on his own breath. She was dressed in white, that must mean that...that she was an acolyte here, right? She looked like an acolyte. She might know where the goddess's champion was.

Before she could speak, her lips parting and eyes widening, Yuya dropped to his knees.

“Please,” he said. “You aren't going to believe me, my lady, but I am the Demon Emperor, and I have come to submit myself to the goddess’s judgment. Please...please, if there is a champion chosen by the goddess here...please take me to her.”

The girl's face actually widened, and her mouth dropped open. Her hand jumped to her wrist and clutched at something that hung around her hand, but her eyes never left Yuya.

And then her eyes bubbled with tears, and her lips opened, and she said something that Yuya had almost definitely not expected to hear.

“Oh goddess,” she whispered. “It's you.”

  
  



	29. TWENTY-NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Peaceful Sleep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUpGltfOU10)

At Yuzu's wrist, her bracelet burned. Her head burned even more.

She couldn't even quite remember why she had decided to walk this close to the barrier. She needed—space. Air. She needed to walk where no one would look for her, to walk out the shakes and trembles from what she had witnessed in the underground facility beneath the abbess's home. To try and work out the lingering haze of fear that came with the haunting memory of the goddess's voice, begging to be released from the fight they were trying to drag her back into.

She had not expected to run into anyone here, much less a stranger.

Much less  _ him _ .

She trembled, unable to breathe as she stared at the boy that knelt in front of her, his eyes shining with uncertainty up at her. There was—there was no mistaking it. It was him. This was  _ him _ . It was the boy she had seen all those years ago on the balcony, crying, the boy that she had grown the flowers for.

It was him.

He was here, kneeling in front of her, and he was real and her age and—

And goddess—had he said what she thought he had just said?

Yuzu opened her mouth, but no words came out. The boy did not move, remaining kneeling on the ground with his hands raised over his head in a gesture of surrender. His mouth was pressed tight together, and his face was white and drawn. He looked both fearful and determined all at once. He looked...human.

“I—I'm not going to hurt you,” the boy said quickly.

Yuzu choked on a breath, and quickly tried to recover herself.

“I—I didn't think you were,” she said. “I—I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just—”

“I scared you,” he said, looking down at the ground. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean...”

“N-no, you didn't, you just shocked me, and I—goddess.”

She pressed a hand over her breast, feeling her heart hammering under her palm. Her throat was so dry that it was almost hard to speak.

He couldn't be the Demon Emperor, she thought. There was absolutely no way. He looked as human as she did. His voice was...normal. It wasn't even the strange, wrong voice like Mieru had, it was just human and ordinary and there was no way the boy in front of her could be the Demon Emperor.

And yet, her bracelet continued to burn against her skin, so hot that she thought it might leave marks.

“ _ I wonder if they glow when we're near the demon,”  _ Selena had suggested.

Yuzu's heart wouldn't stop aching, like she was about to cry. What was wrong with her? Was it just because...because the boy that had given her that courage all those years ago had turned out to be...?

“Y-you can't be the Emperor,” she said in spite of herself. “There's no way—you look normal.”

The boy winced. He chewed on his lip, but he didn't move to lower his hands or stand. He legitimately looked like he was frightened—would the Emperor be frightened? She thought the Emperor was some tyrant who lorded over the people and forced sacrifices in his name, holding the fear of the people over them in his iron fist.

“A-and you're too—you don't look like an  _ Emperor _ ,” Yuzu said. “Is—this some kind of weird prank, or—or a trap?”

She hesitated. Her head was spinning, and her chest ached with feelings that weren't hers. She felt dizzy.

_ It's  _ him _ ,  _ she kept thinking over and over.  _ It's him. It's you. You're the reason I've been fighting in the first place. You—you can't be the Emperor. I've been fighting all this time...to  _ save _ you from the Emperor... _

Tears bubbled up in her eyes and she wasn't sure if it was from the ache in her chest or the absolute, mind-boggling uncertainty of it all. She had just learned that her order was trying to use them as empty vessels to force an unwilling goddess into their bodies, and now—now the Emperor himself was on his knees before her?

“I know,” the boy said, his voice a faint whisper. “I know...I know what I look like. But I promise you, I'm who I say I am. And I need to be taken to the champion immediately so she can—she can end me.”

Yuzu choked.

“You're...you're here to die?” she said.

The boy's eyes flickered to the ground. Yuzu felt like throwing up. Oh goddess. The Demon Emperor...was trying to die.

Her lips parted. She had just learned that her order was using her, and everyone here.

Was...was he the same...?

Were they all just pawns in this strange war between goddess and demon? Was he just as lost and scared and feeling as alone as she did right now?

She took a step forward. Then another. The boy looked up with surprise as she stood briefly in front of him, and then slowly, slowly crouched down so that she was at eye level with him. They were inches apart, staring into each other's eyes—his eyes were a deep red, she realized. But it wasn't the red of blood...it was a red like apples, or strawberries. Warm and full of life.

Her lips parted.

“It really is you,” she said.

“What...what are you talking about?” the boy said.

“You're the boy I saw all those years ago—the one crying on the balcony.”

She swallowed.

“Do you—do you remember the flowers?”

He searched her eyes for a long moment.

And then he breathed in, a sharp, shocked breath, his eyes widening.

“The apple tree,” he mumbled. “I—I was hiding from the priests, on the balcony, and suddenly, over my head...the white flowers just...”

He stared at her, hands slowly sliding down until they hung at his sides, and they simply stared at each other across the thin space between them. Yuzu felt tears in her eyes again, but this time they were her own. She rubbed them away with her thumb.

“Goddess,” she said. “You...you really are the Emperor, aren't you?”

The boy looked down, his shoulders hunching around his ears.

“That's why I'm here,” he said hoarsely. “I need...I need to make sure I can never hurt anyone again.”

Yuzu's heart leaped and clenched. She swallowed.

“There isn't a champion,” she said. “N-no one's been selected yet. And—and I'm not sure anyone's able to be selected.”

The boy looked up at her quickly, his face whitening.

“You mean...there's no one? T-there's no one here that can kill me?”

Yuzu automatically found herself reaching for his hand.

“Listen,” she said. “T-this place isn't what I thought it was. Y-you should go, I don't think it's safe for you here. You need to get out.”

“What are you saying?” the boy said, his voice trembling slightly.

“I'm saying—you're the Emperor, right? And you escaped your own order?”

She looked over her shoulder quickly, holding his hand between hers almost too tightly. Would any of the nuns come this way and see her here with him? Would they know who he was?

“My friends and I are trying to escape ours,” she said, meeting his eyes again, pleading.

He was like her—at least, a little bit. He had escaped a place that tried to use him, that forced him to be something he didn't want to be, that hurt him for their own goals. She was only now having the wool taken off of her eyes about the kind of place that she was in—and she wanted to escape, too.

Maybe she could help him.

“It's not safe here,” she said, pleading with him, squeezing his hand.

The boy just shook his head though, looking white.

“I...I can't go,” he said. “I've traveled so far to get here—listen, please...I don't know what this place has done to you, but I  _ have _ to die. In only a few more new moons, I'll be transformed into a full demon, and I'll destroy the world. I have to die before then.”

“You won't find a way to do that here!” Yuzu said. She wanted to argue with him— _ no, you can't die, you've been my reason for fighting, even if you're really the Emperor, I see something in your eyes that makes me want to keep fighting for you— _ but she knew now was not the time. She had to get him out of here first, and then she—and the others—could figure out what to do next. Oh goddess, the others—how was she going to explain this development to them?

“Apprentice Hiragi? What are you doing this far from campus?”

Yuzu almost choked. She released the boy's hand and leaped to her feet, whipping around. She didn't recognize the nun by face—they all started to look the same after a while—but her long white robes were enough to send Yuzu into a panic.

Part of her tried to move, tried to shield the boy from sight, but she knew it was already too late. Maybe they wouldn't know who he was—she certainly hadn't known until he had said anything, and even now she wasn't totally convinced—

But she was unlucky. The woman's face whitened, and her mouth dropped open. Before Yuzu could even say a word, the woman had grabbed the small pipe from her belt and dragged it to her lips, blowing against it and sending out a single, high-pitched note that cut through the air and made Yuzu clap her hands over her ears.

“Apprentice Hiragi, get away from him!” the woman said as soon as she was finished with the warning. “You don't know what he is—get away!”

“Please, wait!” she started, but it was too late. She felt a heavy tug on the base of her stomach—she wasn't sure whose Blessing it was, but she yelped as she was practically yanked forward by an invisible rope, and then the woods were alive with swarms of nuns and monks, swarming out of the trees to surround the still kneeling boy whose face whitened in spite of himself, and he visibly flinched, throwing his hands in front of his face.

Yuzu choked on a scream that she couldn't release while the nun grabbed hold of her, hugging her like she was her daughter and mumbling something about how she was all right, it was all right.

Yuzu just tried to struggle free, pushing helplessly against the embrace, looking back over her shoulder to see the boy getting loops of chain throwing around his torso and cinching his arms tightly to his side. He screamed at the metal touching his skin, eyes bubbling with tears—oh goddess.

If there hadn't been confirmation that the boy was the Demon Emperor before, now there was no mistaking it. Those were runewrought chains, developed to hold the Demon. They were supposed to burn his skin when he touched it, and from the way he was crying out as the chains hit bare patches of wrist—it was working.

“Leave him alone,” Yuzu tried to scream, but her voice was too choked, and it came out only as a whisper. “No, please—please—”

There was nothing she could do. She could only slump uselessly in the woman's embrace, and watch over her shoulder at the boy with the apple red eyes being dragged away.

  
  



	30. THIRTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Sis Puella Magica](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6V4RzNuuK8)

Yuzu was rushed back to her room, shuffled quickly inside, and told to stay put. She heard the distinct clicking of a lock being pulled, and had to turn to see Rin's bewildered face waiting for answers.

Yuzu felt...cold. Her bracelet wasn't burning anymore, and it felt like ice in the absence of heat.

“What the hell happened?” Rin said, standing up and grabbing Yuzu's hands. Yuzu hadn't realized they were trembling so badly until Rin pressed them together, and then Yuzu felt her knees buckling.

Rin caught her by the waist, guiding her gently to the bed to sit her down. She felt Yuzu's forehead.

“That was the highest security breach sound,” Rin said, her voice trembling slightly in spite of a clear attempt to look tough for Yuzu's sake. “They told us to get back to our rooms, and locked us in—where were you? You look like death, goddess.”

Yuzu tried to breathe. She felt so dizzy.

“Rin,” she said. “I—I think I just met the Demon Emperor.”

Rin didn't respond for almost a full ten seconds. Then her face blanched, and she let go of Yuzu in her shock.

“You—you fucking what?”

Yuzu tried to get her breath back under control. She didn't know why she was so shaken. She...she kept thinking about him. About his scared eyes. He was so real...so human...and...

She clutched at the front of her shirt.

“I needed to walk it off,” she mumbled. “What we saw. And I found him. He just...he dropped to his knees and said he was the Demon Emperor, and h-he had come to see the champion, s-so she could kill him...”

Rin swore.

“Did he hurt you?” she said, grabbing her hands again. “Yuzu, did he hurt you?”

“No!”

Yuzu dragged her hands away.

“You don't understand, Rin, he was—he was real. He was so human, and he was scared, but he...he didn't drop my gaze, and—”

She choked, covering her mouth with one hand.

“And it was him, Rin,” she said. “It was that boy—that boy from the balcony that I made the flowers for...”

Yuzu could barely see through the tears in her eyes—she didn't even know why she was so upset. Everything was happening so quickly, she couldn't handle this. She only barely saw Rin's stunned face, her arms hanging limply from her sides. Rin ran a hand down her face.

“What the hell is going on out here,” she mumbled.

Yuzu just curled up in on herself and pressed her head between her knees, and tried not to think about the image of his apple-red eyes imprinted on her brain.

* * *

It was several hours before their individual rooms were finally unlocked, but the barracks remained barred.

Masumi arrived first, barreling through the doors and grabbing for Yuzu's shoulders.

“There are rumors everywhere,” she gasped. “I heard people talking outside my window—they said that the Emperor is  _ here,  _ and you were the one who—goddess, are you okay??”

Masumi looked stricken, terrified, like she was afraid that Yuzu was going to melt under her fingers.

Yuzu had been crying from her mixed up feelings all day, so all she could do was nod uselessly. She couldn't force words through her throat. Masumi let out a faint, choked sound, and then grabbed Yuzu against her in a tight hug. Yuzu let herself melt into it, pressing her face against Masumi's shoulder. She just wanted...wanted to stay right here, and not have to think about what all was happening outside...

“First we find out that the order is trying to make us goddess puppets,” Hokuto's dry voice came through the door, “and then the Emperor himself shows up at our doorstep?”

“Is it really him?” Selena said, forcing her way through the door beside Hokuto. “Was it really him? He's really here?”

“Yuzu says so,” Rin said. “God—Masumi, give her some air.”

Yuzu was distantly disappointed as Rin tugged Masumi off of her, and guided Yuzu back to a sitting position on her bed. She sat down next to Yuzu and took her hand, gripping it tightly and stroking the back of her hand in a soothing motion. Masumi hung back, looking down, her cheeks slightly dark.

“I'm just glad you're okay,” she mumbled.

Yuzu wasn't sure if she was, but she nodded.

“Did he do something to her?” Selena demanded.

“Yeah, you look like death,” said Yaiba, as he too, finally appeared.

“He didn't do anything,” Yuzu said in a thin voice. She had to—had to breathe. She rubbed quickly at the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand, and took in a deep breath to still herself. “Listen—everyone...he's...he's...”

She almost choked on saying it again.

“He's the boy I always told you about,” she said. “The one I saw crying on the balcony. The one I saw the day my Blessing awoke.”

Selena's eyes bulged, and Hokuto swore softly. Masumi's mouth dropped open.

“What—you mean...all that time ago—” Masumi started.

“You gave the fucking Demon Emperor flowers?” Hokuto said.

“Oh fucking goddess, let her talk,” Yaiba said.

Yuzu shook her head. She wasn't sure how much else she could figure out how to say. Thankfully, Rin had already heard some of it from her before, so she was able to pick up the slack.

“Yuzu said that he came here because he wants the champion to kill him,” Rin said.

“He wants what?”

Rin shrugged.

“I don't know—I doubt Yuzu knows either. But...”

She looked uncomfortable, shifting in her seat as she gripped Yuzu's hands a little more tightly.

“I mean...we just found out that  _ we _ were being used by our own order...is it so far of a stretch to think that...maybe...the Emperor is the same?”

Masumi swore in a language that Yuzu didn't know, and she closed her eyes. Her head spun. There was just...too much...this was too much...

“That’s exactly what happened,” a voice cut over them suddenly. “And his name is Yuya.”

Yuzu's eyes opened, and everyone looked up towards the door, where Ruri had finally appeared. She stood firm in the threshold, one hand in a fist at her side, and the other arm lifted up to help balance the majestic, red-breasted falcon that sat on her arm. Masumi swore again.

“I don't even know which question to ask first,” Hokuto said.

“Wait,” Selena said, blinking  “‘Yuya’?”

Ruri hummed softly, and stepped into the room. The falcon shifted up her arm and onto her shoulder.

“My brother is here,” she said, as matter-of-fact as though she were discussing the weather. “He was traveling with the Emperor from Corkoro. He sent me a falcon to tell me what's happening.”

“Your brother was with the Demon Emperor?” Masumi said. “What the hell for?”

Ruri reached up to stroke the bird's breast with one hand.

“Apparently, the Emperor showed up at the resistance base in Corkoro,” she said. “He was brought before the Council, and under the effect of Reibulbs, told them the story of how he was kidnapped and forced to become the Emperor for the priests' benefit.”

She looked at the floor.

“But he's...he really is a demon,” she said. “And at the next eclipse, he'll awaken into his true form, and be unable to stop himself. He..he wants to die before then. That's what my brother told me.”

Masumi swore  _ again _ .

“Do you have anything else to add?” Hokuto shot at her, and she only glared. She looked as tongue-tied as Yuzu felt. Her heart was trembling.

It was true...it was all true. That boy was really the demon, and he was really here, trying to die.

She didn't realize she was trembling until Rin wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her gently against her, stroking her arm slowly. She felt so  _ tired _ . She just wanted to sleep, and wake up, and find out that all of this, the revelations about Mieru and solitary, the appearance of the Demon Emperor and the fact that he was the boy that she had become an acolyte for, that all of it was just a dream. She wanted to go back to the boring days of training that she had once chafed at.

She wanted to be anywhere but here.

“So what do we do now?” Selena said softly.

Everyone looked at her, but she was looking somewhere else, her eyes unfocused towards the window.

“I mean,” she said. “First, we wanted to escape to get to the resistance and help them fight the Emperor. Then, we wanted to escape to get away from the order that's using us.”

She looked across at Yuzu then, and Yuzu's breath caught—she couldn't read what Selena's eyes were saying, but something in Selena's expression seemed...seemed the same way that Yuzu felt in this moment. The same vague, dizzy conflicted emotions that Yuzu couldn't deal with.

“But now the Emperor is right here,” she said. “But he's not what we thought he was either.”

She swallowed.

“So what do we do now?”

No one had an answer.

* * *

Yuzu didn't really remember when everyone decided to fade back into their own rooms. The dorms were locked, barred, and guarded, after all, so they couldn't very well think about leaving even just the dorms, much less Rayglen entirely.

Yuzu tried to lay down at Rin's insistence, but she found herself only staring at the ceiling, watching the way the shadows deepened darker and darker as the sun set. Rin had tried to lay down too, but considering the way she was tossing and turning, she wasn't going to sleep either.

Yuzu wanted to do something. Scream. Rip up a pillow. Break her chair.

But she was just laying there, dead. She couldn't move. She...she wanted...

“I need to see him again.”

Rin stopped in the middle of rolling over again. For a long time, neither spoke.

Then Yuzu heard Rin sit up in bed.

“I'll go with you,” was all she said. No questions. No judgment.

Yuzu wondered if she just needed to see it for herself, too, and had wanted the justification.

“How do we get there? We don't know where he is.”

“Yeah we do. Only one place he could be.”

Underground. In that facility again, probably locked up, maybe in a room near where Anna had been put under to have her blood replaced.

“We can't get out of the dorms.”

Rin just slid off of the bed, clambered onto the desk, and pushed on the window. It wasn't a big window, probably it would be a squeeze to fit through, and it wasn't supposed to come off. But it did, and Rin lifted it off easily, letting the sounds of night crickets and birds hum through with the breeze.

Yuzu sat up as Rin put the window down on her bed.

“Fifteen minutes,” she said. “I think we can manage fifteen minutes.”

The Yuzu of a few days ago probably would have said no—this was crazy. They shouldn't be doing this. They'd get in trouble.

All of that had gone out the window in the past few days—and in a few seconds, Yuzu was also wriggling out the window, too.

Rin caught her when she fell gently to the ground, holding her briefly to make sure she could stand. Then Rin turned her attention to the gaping hole where the window should be, her face screwing up. A breeze wafted between them, and inside the room, Yuzu saw the flash of the window lifting up on a heavy draft, and then floated gently back into place.

“I'll pop it back out when we come back,” Rin said. “Let's go.”

Yuzu clung to Rin's hand, and Rin lead the way back to the underground facility.

“How are we going to get in?” Yuzu asked.

“We'll figure that out when we get there,” Rin said.

The exit that they had escaped through the first time had emerged in a thin trap door that was hidden strategically with branches behind the goddess's shrine. Rin angled for that one, presumably because it would be easier to access than the abbess's office. Still, it was a little eerie when they crept through the woods as silently as possible...only to find that there wasn't a single person standing on guard.

“Maybe he's not down there,” Yuzu said.

“Only one way to find out.”

Rin moved forward first. Yuzu was grateful for how proactive Rin was being, because Yuzu felt like she could only go through the motions. Rin pried the door open, letting Yuzu slip down.

“Clear,” Yuzu whispered back up, and Rin slithered down too, pulling the door closed behind them.

It was incredibly dark in the tunnel, but this time, it wasn't a problem. Yuzu dug into her pocket for a small seed, dropped it into her palm, and whispered life into it, causing the flower to spread and grow in her hand, roots wrapping around her palm as the flower unfolded. The petals took on a faint, glowing light—glowflowers were one of Yuzu's favorites.

She held the flower ahead of them, Rin clinging to her hand behind her this time as she lead the way back down the hall.

The door was unlocked.

This was too easy, Yuzu found herself thinking, heart fluttering. Why was it so easy? Was this a trap? Were they hoping that whoever had broken in before would be lured back for some reason, and were trying to catch them?

But she pushed the door open anyway, and they made their way through the eerie room of vials and shelves.

She opened the next door as carefully as possible, peeking through to make sure there were no guards. Maybe they didn't guard this place because they knew there was no way anyone else would know about it. Yuzu would have never guessed without Selena's flash of intuition.

They didn't have much time, so Yuzu didn't bother to second guess herself. She didn't bother with the side that had the medical rooms—all of those had been the same kind of hospital room, and likely wouldn't be able to imprison anyone. She took the other hallway instead, the one where they had found record rooms. There had to be something here, something that they hadn't seen in the dark on their first travel through.

She pushed the door open, and one at a time, Rin and Yuzu checked each room. They passed that first record room they had gone into before, and Yuzu didn't miss the tiny shudder that Rin gave in response.

It wasn't until the very last room of the hall that Yuzu's breath caught at what appeared under the glow of her glowflower.

She saw the bars first, and then her light fell between the bars, and she saw the hunched shadow within the single, small cell.

It was him. Even in the shadowy dark, she recognized his mussed green and red hair. Her heart clenched at the rest of the image, however. He was forced into a kneeling position, with heavy chains wrapped around his feet and more twisting his hands behind his back. Long chains stretched between him and the wall on three sides, with a fourth one bolting him between his chest and the floor, so that he would be unable to make any moves in any direction. All of the chains were embossed with the runes made for holding immortals. A thick black cloth wrapped over his eyes, blotting out his vision. He looked up at the sound of her gasp and her feet, though, lips parting.

“H...hello?” he said.

Yuzu slowly sunk to her knees, dropping the flower in front of her.

“It's...it's me,” she fumbled. “It's the girl from before, I mean.”

His lips parted.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“Because...I had to see you,” she said, sounding foolish all of a sudden. “I wanted to see you.”

A tentative, confused smile grew over his lips. Yuzu gripped the bars and pressed her face between them. She felt worse than she had before—she didn't want to see him like this. This was...this was cruel.

“Are you hurt?” she said.

He winced slightly, but he smiled.

“I'm okay,” he said. “Really.”

Yuzu felt like she was going to choke. She knew he wasn't. Those chains were probably burning him constantly. If he wasn't immortal, like the stories said...it would be a wonder that he wasn't dead already. And if he  _ was _ immortal, then...then that sounded like a horrible, horrible experience.

“My name is Yuzu,” she said. “Yuzu Hiragi.”

“Yuzu,” he repeated, as though testing the word. “I'm Yuya.”

Yuzu felt her eyes bubbling with tears.

“I'm sorry, Yuya,” she said. “I'm sorry I couldn't stop them.”

Yuya shook his head.

“It's all right,” he said. “I kind of expected this, to be honest. It's easier to keep me imprisoned until their champion appears, right? I can wait until she comes.”

“And then what?”

Yuya's head sagged slightly.

“And then...and then she executes me.”

Yuzu's chest seized.

“You don't...you don't really want that, do you?”

Yuya smiled ruefully.

“It's better than lots of people getting hurt because of me,” he said.

Yuzu felt like her heart was breaking. This...this wasn't fair. This was so wrong.

“Yuzu, did you find him?” Rin hissed.

Yuzu had forgotten that Rin was here. And she startled, looking back towards Rin.

“Y-yes, he's here,” she said.

Rin hurried over. Her face was lit strangely by the flower as she crouched down, leaning over to look into the cell.

Something in Rin's face changed. Yuzu opened her mouth to ask her what was wrong, because she suddenly looked like she was going to throw up. But Rin was already reaching through the bars, her fingers catching just barely on the edge of Yuya's blindfold, and dragging it down around his neck—

Yuya blinked with surprise, squinting and brow furrowing.

Rin made a strangled sound.

“Oh goddess,” she said. “I-it—it can't—oh goddess.”

Yuya's eyes widened, and his lips parted. He hesitated, as though listening to something in his head.

“...Rin...?” he whispered.

Rin choked. She fell back and clapped her hands over her mouth, shaking. Yuzu looked back and forth between them—what was happening? Did—did Rin know him?”

“Oh fucking goddess,” Rin gasped between her hands. “ _ Yugo _ .”

  
  



	31. THIRTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Alien Facility](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jy5Et3NheE)

**** The High Priest of the Outer Circle didn't get a whole lot of free time, especially during a period of martial law when the city could melt down at any moment.

It took him far longer than he wanted to find a way down into the chambers that Sora had spoken of. And in those days, he had not seen or heard a word from Sora. He was actually starting to get worried. What was keeping Sora from seeing him directly? Was this some kind of...trap? No, no, Roger would never get Sora. Sora was too...straightforward, as much as he wanted to think he wasn't. Edo knew him better than that...right?

Roger didn't have Sora held prisoner somewhere, did he? Because he had figured out something that he didn't want anyone to know? Was Sora—

No. He wouldn't let his mind go that far. Sora was alive. He had to be.

Trying to bolster himself with those words, Edo finally found himself in the empty, cavernous throne room.

It felt wrong to be here without the torches lit, with the curtains drawn over the windows, with the throne empty. He swallowed. If there was any place to hide a secret door to a secret underground, this would be it. The safest place to hide anything would be behind the Emperor’s throne, where no one would dare approach without cause.

Edo approached it anyway, despite the twist and ache in his stomach, the acid in his mouth. He ascended the stairs to the top of the dais, where he had never been allowed before, and walked around behind the throne.  Silently, he sent an apology to the Emperor for trespassing.  If he was wrong about this, as soon as the Emperor was safely returned, Edo would confess his crime and do penance for it.

There, in the dark, Edo's fingers found a door with a handle. His heart sank. The door was real—there must be something here. This...was this real...?

Edo swallowed. He reached into his robes and fumbled for a small vial, popping open the cork and tipping the contents onto his hand. He rubbed it between his hands, blew on it and whispered a few words of power, and then the liquid lifted from his hands and condensed into a tiny ball of light that hovered from his palms. He set it to float over his shoulder, illuminating his passage.

The door was locked, and it didn't respond to any of Edo's passwords. No matter. He had other ways of getting in. He pulled a thin pick from his robe and went to work until the door clicked open.

It swung open to reveal a long, dark staircase. Edo felt sick. His light could only illuminate so far, but this was starting to...look more and more like...

_ Roger is really...doing something to the Emperor? _

Edo steeled himself.

_ If Roger is hurting the Emperor—if he's using him—I have to know. _

_ I have to protect the Emperor _ .

He took steadying breath, and made his way down the stairs. He hesitated at the fork in the hallways, and then decided to go left. He wasn't sure why—some gut feeling. It was almost like the tickle of feeling a faraway emotion, but it was more insistent, tugging at the base of his stomach. He followed that gut feeling through the maze of hallways for a little while, until he finally reached another door.

This one was already unlocked, and he hesitated only a fraction of a second before pushing it open.

The room inside made his stomach turn and do flip flops.

“A blood harvester,” he said aloud in spite of himself, feeling cold.

Blood harvesting was...well, it was  _ illegal _ . It was experimental. A technique for removing the blood from someone and filling up the grooves, stealing the blood and infusing it with magic to be used later. But no one had perfected it, and it would certainly kill whoever was being harvested from...

Unless...the person being harvested from was...unable to die...

Edo covered his mouth with one hand, but he forced himself down the steps. As sick as he felt, he was feeling strength return to his legs. A cold, dull fury was beginning to pound through him as he approached the altar, as he noted the chains nailed to each corner, chains that were dry with blood.

This was real. Sora had been right. This was all  _ real _ .

He was starting to hyperventilate. The priests—were they really harvesting from the  _ Emperor _ ? Then—then what was everything else for? How deep did this horror run?

Edo swallowed. His fingers hovered briefly over the altar. Did he...even dare...?

He had to know. He had to know for sure who had been here.

He took a deep breath, and pressed his fingers to the altar, letting his Blessing take over.

Immediately, he doubled over with pain and terror, his eyes bulging and his throat closing up. Oh  _ demons _ . He felt nothing but  _ pain— _ pain and terror and a desperate, horrifyingly desperate plea for it to stop, please  _ stop, please stop hurting me please I'll be good I promise please just stop I don't want this anymore— _

Edo tore himself out of the emotions with a gasp, falling back and collapsing to the floor with a choked gasp. Oh demons. That...that was...

He could only sit there for a moment, trembling so badly that he thought he might just lay down on the floor. Emotional shadows sometimes lingered to places of great emotional distress but—but he had never found something so strong before. This was...there was no doubt. The Emperor had been here...he had been chained to this very stone, against his will, screaming and begging for the pain to stop, pleading that he would “be good” if only the torture would stop—

It was only the soft click of a shoe on the floor that startled Edo back to himself, and he struggled to get to his feet. He stepped on the edges of his robe more than once and fell back down, gasping.

“Demons,” Roger swore behind him, as Edo had to use the bloody altar to push himself back up. “I should have known. If anything can go wrong, it will.”

Edo pushed himself up by the altar—he was so weak from the shock, from the lingering shadow pains of that horrible rush of emotions, he had to hold onto the altar to keep himself upright. He turned with some effort, leaning back as he faced Roger.

Roger practically snarled at him from the door on the other side of the room. He was armed, Edo realized. With a demon blade. One of—oh demons. That was one of the rare ones, the ones that could dissolve matter just with a touch. Edo had to force full strength back into himself. He had to—he had to be able to defend himself.

He put his hand on the hilt of his own blade, and then, all at once, the fury caught up with him.

“You,” he hissed. “How long have you been doing this?”

Roger scoffed.

“As long as the brat has been here,” he said. He stepped down onto the dais. “Did you know? He's not even the first prince. There were four of the brats—three of them are dead now, to give us our full Emperor at last.”

Edo tried to breathe. He was...he was  _ angry _ . He could barely see for the white hot anger that was pulsing through him.

“You  _ tortured _ him,” he hissed. “You tortured our  _ god _ .”

Roger actually laughed, and the sound bounced eerily off of the walls.

“God?” he spat. “The runt is barely more than a glorified weapon that knows how to talk. It was only a matter of time before we found out how to control in him in his rages—only a matter of time before we could have solidified our grip on the entire continent.”

Edo got enough of his weight back under him to quickly move himself to the other side of the altar, putting space and obstacles in between them.

“How does that make you feel, Phoenix?” Roger hissed. “Your precious religion that 'saved your life' was nothing more than a tool for war. How does that make you feel?”

Oh demons. Edo felt a fresh wave of cold seize his chest.

What had he been fighting for all this time? His god...his god was a slave, a helpless pawn trapped by the will of greedy fake priests. What—what had he been preaching for? What...what laws had he been upholding for...?

Roger took advantage of his sudden faltering. The man lunged forward with his blade, and Edo had to leap back. The blade sunk into the altar instead, and immediately, the entire stone dissolved into dust. Roger took another swipe, wild and untrained. He had clearly never actually held a weapon in his life, and Edo might be able to use that to his advantage. He quickly freed his own blade and slashed for Roger's stomach, but the man was quicker than he appeared.

“Kill me, and you'll have riots on your hands,” Edo snarled. “You know how much loyalty I have in the Outer Priests—they won't trust you.”

Roger sneered.

“All I have to do is leave your mangled body out in the streets,” he said, making another stab for Edo. “And tell them that their precious High Priest was murdered by the rebellion. They'll burn this entire city down to the ground for you—how does  _ that _ make you feel?”

Edo felt sick from the malicious glee that was rolling off of Roger in sickening waves, and it was throwing him off guard. He was too distressed to properly block out the emotions bombarding his head, and Roger was taking advantage of it. Edo blocked a slash from Roger's blade—his own demon blade was strong enough to resist being entirely dissolved, but the outer layer of metal melted, leaving the blade brittle. Another hit, and it would shatter. Edo whispered the word that would cause the flames to sprout across the blade, and whipped it around him, trying to force Roger back away from the fire.

Roger did take a step back, enough to give Edo a brief breath.

“Besides, don't you want to die anyway?” Roger sneered. “You just found out that everything you've ever lived for is a lie. Doesn't that just make you so very suicidal?”

For just the barest of seconds, Edo felt his heart shatter.

And then it reformed itself from sheer force of fire and anger and  _ hate _ .

“Not yet,” he hissed. “Not yet. You might have been toying with him, with things that you can't and shouldn't control, but I have seen his power—my god is still yet a god.”

Edo attacked with a renewed fury, slicing for Roger's head—the man screamed as Edo's sword actually managed to hit its mark, slicing through Roger's ear. The fire immediately cauterized the wound, but Roger still shrieked, stumbling back and clutching at his head, his sword briefly dangling.

“I will find him, and I will set him—and all of his believers—free from  _ you _ ,” Edo snarled.

Roger snarled, lunging forward again, but he was wild with pain now, and his blade hit the wall uselessly, dissolving part of it into dust. His blade would run out of power soon—the powerful ones like that didn't hold their strength for long.

Edo brandished his sword, released the fire, and made for a killing, back stabbing blow.

He didn't reach that far, as an arrow pierced directly through his shoulder and sent his blade flying from his hand. He screamed, stumbling down to one knee. Another arrow struck him in the back and he screamed again.

Roger staggered to his feet, gasping. One hand still clutched his ear, and a wild, unhinged smile came over his face, his hair mussed and unkempt from the fight. He looked like a real demon in that moment, and for a moment, Edo went entirely cold.

He was going to die.

He heard the scraping of boots as other priests burst into the room. In another second, he would have another arrow in his head this time—he was already losing blood, fuck, he could barely move for the pain—

“And now, Edo Phoenix,” Roger gasped. “I will finally have you out of my hair for  _ good _ .”

He raised his blade over Edo's head. Powerless or no, it would stab through his brain easily enough. And behind him, more priests, ready to see to his execution.

Desperate times called for the absolute most desperate of measures.

Edo took one precious second to entirely retreat into himself. He found his core—the place where his Blessing resided. He had found a way to visualize it clearly during his many sessions of meditation, and he had found, through copious amounts of study and testing—that his Blessing was a little more multifaceted than he had once thought.

He found the emotions buried there in that core: his own, of course, but not just that. The ones that he had sensed from hundreds, thousands of others, in the course of many weeks and months. All of them had lingering shadows here. All of them were powerful if he gave them too much thought.

He came back to himself, his core buzzing with the pressure of the thousands of remembered emotions hidden there. He caught Roger's eyes, and perhaps a fraction of a second before it happened, Roger knew what was coming.

Edo released the emotions from him in a dizzying wave.

He heard screams and shrieks, but momentarily, his own ability to sense emotions had gone deaf. Roger dropped his sword and fell to the ground, convulsing, and Edo heard the sounds of other weapons skidding across the floor.

He didn't have much time—that emotion bomb would not paralyze them for long.

Almost screaming with pain, Edo dragged himself to his feet. It took everything he had not to reach for the sword on the ground—use it to end Roger right here, right now.

He didn't have time.

He had to get this news out of the basement as soon as possible. He had to tell the world the truth.

He shuffled as quickly as the pain would allow him to the other side of the room, ignoring the convulsing people on the ground. Weaklings, he thought, in an uncharacteristic fit of hate and rage. He sensed that much emotion every single day. They couldn't handle experiencing all of it at once for even a few minutes. It paralyzed them with indecision, as they felt happy, angry, scared, hateful, anguished, all at once, overwhelming them and making them nearly pass out from the exhaustion.

It should hopefully give him enough time to escape.

He had no time to try and go the way he had come, so he had to hope there was another way out. He shuffled through the door on the other side of the hall, closed it behind him, and pulled the latch shut, hoping it wouldn't be unlockable from the inside.

He gasped, leaning against the wall and trying to use the stone to pull himself forward. There was blood on his fingers from where he clutched at the back of his shoulder, and the second arrow in his back moved with every step and sent fresh stabs of pain through him. Demons, he hoped it hadn't reached his kidney. He could be dying right now and not even know it.

Shit, he had fucked up—he should have made absolute certain that Roger was nowhere around! He groaned, pressing into the wall. He had reached the end of this hallway, but which direction did he turn now? How did he get out of here? There was no more tug at the base of his stomach, and even his Blessing was taking a while to recharge.

So that was why he didn't sense the malice washing over him from the right until it was almost too late.

He heard the slavering sound of something hissing and snarling, first. The scrabble of claws against the floor. And then all the blood rushed out of his face as he looked down the right hallway and saw something entirely inhuman loping towards him.

They were likely the most horrifying things that Edo had ever seen—human-like, but almost only in concept. Their backs were bony and arched, bone-like spikes protruding from their shoulders as though their shoulder blades had pierced their own skin with humongous growths. They moved on all fours despite having distinct hands and feet, with more spikes protruding from their knees and wrists. Their faces were too long to be human, mouths too wide with far too many sharp teeth, and huge black tongues that drooled as they hung out of their mouths.  Ragged hair in different colors hung patchily and limp around their faces.

Terrifying, glowing yellow eyes stared hungrily at him from under a mass of wilted hair, and Edo felt something in him stop—for a brief moment, he wasn't even fully conscious.

_ The documents, _ he thought, fear pulsing through him.  _ The ones that Sora sent me—they said something about—hybridization. _

Roger's voice suddenly echoed above him through the halls, a wild, malicious glee in his tone.

“It's interesting to see what the demon's blood does when you inject it steadily into an unwilling human host, isn't it?” he said, his voice trembling with a malicious delight. “Oh, by the way, Phoenix—we stopped feeding them a while ago. They're quite ravenous.”

There were three of them, and they were approaching slowly, but Edo knew it wouldn't be for long. He could see the pack-like mentality behind their dull eyes, glittering with hunger. He almost choked.

He couldn't run from this. He was going to get ripped to pieces.

“I hope they leave enough of your face to be recognizable for when I leave your body in the streets,” Roger said. “Well, no matter...I'll find some way to make sure you can be properly identified.”

And then the first of the three lunged forward, bolting down the hallway, and Edo had to run.

Pain shuddered through him, but the fear and adrenaline was enough to keep him going. His head was just a giant cotton ball of absolute terror—he was supposed to be the goddamn High Priest of Zarkania and here he was, fleeing for his life without any way to defend himself!! Primal urges to escape the hunters overtook everything else. He was out of juice for his last-ditch emotional attack, and he wasn't even sure that these creatures would respond to it in the first place. He could only run.

Which way? Which way? This place was a maze! He could end up at a dead end and then he would be dead meat—

He screamed as teeth sank into his calf, sending him skidding to the floor. He scrabbled against the dust and dirt as another bite sank just above the back of his knee and he shrieked. He fumbled for his demon bracer, smacking it into life. The creatures shrieked as briefly, a thick warded shield shoved them back—but that wouldn't last long, not long at all. Edo struggled up to his knees—his leg was bleeding too much, leaving trails in the dust as he tried to crawl. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He was going to  _ die _ and he wouldn't be able to tell Sora that he had been right—wouldn't be able to tell his followers what Roger was doing, what danger the Emperor was in, wouldn't be able to tell them all the  _ truth— _

A clawed hand crashed against his back and dug into the skin, shoving him face first into the floor. He felt hot breath slather against the back of his neck. All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut against the frustrated tears, bracing himself for the end—

The creature above him yelped, and then the weight was gone from his back, and his eyes flew open with shock. For a moment, he was too dizzy to see, but all at once, his body felt light—like he was floating off of the floor.

Hang on—he  _ was  _ floating off the floor. Had he just died? Was he a ghost?

A very solid hand curled around his elbow and dragged him through the air. He simply slid along through the empty space, to dizzy to figure out immediately what had just happened. He heard a very unfamiliar sounding swear, and then a thick slithering sound followed by more yelps.

He was so dizzy. The blood loss was taking a toll on him. He tried to look back over his shoulder towards the place he had come from. Through his blurred vision, he could see what appeared to be the shape of a woman, her hair flapping around her head as she ran, a heavy bow in her hands. Edo did not recognize the weapon, but he did recognize some of the runes that he could see when he squinted at it. That was an old, old forest magic, he realized. Bows that fired arrows which sprouted deadly thorns upon impact. In fact, when he looked behind the fleeing shape of the woman, he saw those creatures struggling and writing in a mass of what looked like living, moving roses.

His mind caught up to him enough to realize again that he was floating in the air and being dragged along, and then he realized that there was only one person he knew that both had the ability to do such a thing, and the desire to save him.

“Sora,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Don't talk,” Sora said, his voice trembling. “We're getting you out of here!”

Edo could barely keep his eyes open, but he forced them.

“I—I'm sorry,” he mumbled. “You were right. You were right the whole time. I should have listened...”

Sora made a soft choking sound, but he kept running.

“You lost a lot of blood,” was all he said. “So don't talk.”

  
  



	32. THIRTY-TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Tower](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI26lvJlFjg)

Rin fled.

Yuya choked on a cry as Yugo screamed in his head, but he managed to cut himself off. He didn't—he didn't think these two were supposed to be here, and he didn't want to accidentally get them in trouble. Yuzu swiped for Rin's tunic, but Rin was too quick. Scrambling to her feet and bolting, the last thing that Yuya saw of her was her haunted, white face, lit eerily by the glowing flower on the floor.

“ _ Rin!” _ Yugo kept shouting, over and over, as though his voice could somehow pass through the confines of Yuya's mind and get into the world outside so that she could hear him.  _ “Rin!! Rin, come back! Rin!” _

Yugo's heart practically shattered, and Yuya groaned—he could feel the ache as acutely as though it were his own. Yugo started to sob, and even Yuuri didn't have anything to say.

“W-what was that?” Yuzu said, her eyes darting back and forth between Yuya and the way that Rin had disappeared. “What just happened??”

Yuya tried to breathe. He winced as he shifted a tiny bit, but there was no way to get comfortable chained up as he was. He could barely feel his fingers, much less dealing with the constant buzzing pain of the metal burning his skin.

“That was...her name was Rin, right?” he said, his voice cracking.

“She called you Yugo,” Yuzu said. “You're...you said your name was Yuya, but...but Yugo is the one that Rin...”

Yuya's tears bubbled to his eyes, and he looked down. In the back of his mind, Yugo's sobs had faded to a faint whimper, and Yuto was whispering soothing things to him.

“I...I sort of am Yugo,” he said, voice cracking. “Yugo was...Yugo was one of the four pieces of the demon, just like me...”

Yuzu's hands tightened on the bars, her eyes glittering in the light of the flower.

“What does that mean?” she said, her breath hitching.

Yuya looked away from her, staring at the floor. The only thing he could move was his head, and he was in just so much constant, dull pain.

“The demon was split into four pieces when the goddess struck him down,” Yuya said. “And those pieces hid away in human souls. The only way to get a full demon again is to collect those souls...and...”

Oh demons, he had to relive this all over again. He closed his eyes shut tightly against the tears.

“The other three died, and I survived,” Yuya mumbled. “At least—my body survived. The other three people with the demon pieces are still...here. They're in my head. Yugo...Yugo talks about Rin a lot. I've seen her in his memories.”

Yuzu made a small choking sound, and when he opened his eyes again, she had a hand pressed to her mouth.

“That's—that's terrible,” she said.

Yuya tried to smile.

“I know,” he said. “I...I must have shocked her. We all looked really alike because of the demon's influence in our souls.”

Yuzu put both hands on the bars again, as though she could pull herself between them. She looked like she wanted to reach through the way that Rin had to pull the blindfold off. She licked her lips.

“Why are you here?” Yuya asked softly again, whispering into the dark. “Why...why did you want to see me?”

He didn't understand it. She was an acolyte of the goddess, wasn't she? She should hate him just for the fact that he existed. Yuzu hesitated for a moment. She looked...just as uncertain as he felt.

“I told you,” she said. “You were the boy that I saw all those years ago in the balcony. You were...you were the reason I wanted to fight.”

She sat back, folding her legs and hugging herself.

“I would think about you every time I thought things got too hard,” she said, voice trembling. “‘ _ Keep fighting _ ,’ I'd tell myself. ‘ _ Keep fighting so that one day, you can meet him again, and help him free. So you can help everyone be free.’ _ ”

She swallowed, and looked at him again, eyes shining with tears.

“And here you are, and it's not at all the way I thought it would be,” she said. “You're...you're the one I've been training to kill all this time.”

She swallowed.

“But looking at you—even if you hadn't been the boy I'd seen all those years ago—I don't think I could do it,” she whispered. “You're...you're a human, just like me.”

Yuya's chest tightened.

“I'm really not,” he said.

She shook her head.

“No, I—I get it. You have the demon within you, and it scares you. But that's—what I'm trying to say is...”

She leaned forward again, and this time, she fit her arm between the bars to reach towards him. Her fingers could only barely touch the edge of his cheek, and he shivered slightly at the cool tips of her fingers brushing his skin.

“I just found out recently that this place isn't what I thought it was, and I'm scared,” she said. “And...and looking at you, I think you must have been scared your entire life.”

She almost smiled, but there was something so heart-wrenchingly sad about it that Yuya felt his own heart crack. She withdrew her hand, then, and lingered for just a few moments more, her hands gripping the bars.

“I need to go,” she mumbled. “I'm sorry. I can't be found down here.”

“It's all right,” Yuya said. “T...thank you.”

Yuzu hesitated.

“For what?”

Yuya found himself smiling tentatively.

“For coming to see me,” he said. “It's...pretty lonely down here.”

Yuzu looked like her heart was about to break, and she bit her lip.

“I'll come again,” she said.

“You shouldn't,” Yuya said. “I don't want you to get in trouble.”

“I don't care. I'll come to see you again. I promise.”

She bit her lip again.

“Is—is there anything Yugo wants to tell Rin...?” she said.

Yugo startled at the back of Yuya's mind. Yuya waited.

After a beat, Yugo sniffled.

“ _ Can you tell her I'm sorry I got separated?”  _ he said.  _ “And she shouldn't blame herself for what happened to me.” _

Yuya relayed the message, feeling his heart clench up again. Yuzu nodded.

“Oh!” Yuya said. “And—and if you can, I think my friends who came with me are probably worried, so...if you could talk to them, if it's possible, let them know that everything's all right...”

Yuzu's jaw clenched, but she nodded.

She lingered just a moment longer. Then she reached down for her flower, and, after a beat of hesitation, pushed it between the bars in front of Yuya.

“Don't worry, it will fold up by morning,” she said. “But...just so you don't feel...so alone.”

Yuya had not gotten a chance to really look at the blossom since all of this had started, but he breathed in with awe, staring at it. How did it glow like that?

“Thank you,” he breathed. He smiled. “This is the second time you've left me with a flower.”

Yuzu reddened. She mumbled something about being back as soon as she could, and then, her feet were echoing against the floor as she hurried way.

Yuya looked down at the flower in front of him, wishing he could lean down to take a closer look, or see what it smelled like. But...just like Yuzu had said, he felt a lot less alone. The light was...nice.

He looked back towards the place where Yuzu had gone.

“Yuzu,” he murmured again, testing her name. “Thank you.”

* * *

Yuya somehow fell asleep against all of the pain, but something—he wasn't sure what—startled him awake. He blinked groggily—the flower was still glowing underneath him, so it couldn't be morning yet. What had woken him?

And then Yuuri made a faint humming sound in Yuya's head.

“ _ I guess it's the night for reunions,” _ he said, his voice tight.

“What...?” Yuya mumbled, his throat tight.

It was then that he realized that there was someone standing in front of him, looking down at him. The light of the flower lit her face in such a way that for a moment, Yuya thought she was Yuzu again.

But no, her eyes were a deep green, and her hair, loose around her shoulders, was an azure blue.

She had the same look of pain that Yuzu had had when looking at him, though.

For a moment, they just sat there, staring at each other.

“You’re...you’re not Yuuri,” she said.

Yuya startled.

“Um...no...I’m not.”

The girl looked faintly pained.  Then she squeezed her eyes shut.

“I’m sorry,” she said flatly.  “I didn’t keep my promise.”

_ “Yuuri, do you know her?” _ Yuya asked.

_ “Maybe.” _

“I'm only here for a second,” she said. “I just—I needed to—”

“ _ She never knew how to spit it out,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Yuuri, who is this?” _ Yuya thought back.  _ “How do you know her?” _

_ Why don't I know her too,  _ Yuya thought. He usually got all of the other's memories, but Yuuri was better at keeping things from him sometimes.

“I heard the Demon Emperor was here, but it was the wrong name...I tried to tell them, before, about the day I met you, but they all told me I was confused.  I had to stop telling people, I was scared they would take the memories away and I’d never remember.”

_ “Hmph,” _ Yuuri mumbled.

And before Yuya could even say a word, she shot back to her feet and almost fell over.

“I'll be back,” she said. “I'll do something. I'm sorry, Yuuri.  And Yuya.”

And then she was darting away again, and Yuya was once more alone. Yuya watched her go with a buzzing, groggy shock. What had just...?

“ _ So that's what happened to her,” _ Yuuri murmured.  _ “I thought so. The order of the goddess always was trying to snap up whatever acolytes they could steal from Zarkania.” _

“Yuuri? Yuuri, really, what just happened?”

But Yuuri didn't seem to be in a talking mood. He just...faded back into Yuya's head, and after a long, long silence, Yuya decided it was just easier to give up.

He'd talk when he was ready, right?

  
  



	33. THIRTY-THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Voice of No Return](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubMf__iB8iI)

****Rin was in bed, tucked completely under the covers when Yuzu got back. She was just glad that Rin had remembered to leave the window removed so that Yuzu could wriggle her way through. She almost made too much noise trying to heave the window back into place, and then she turned nervously towards the lump where Rin laid.

Rin didn't move or even make a sound at Yuzu's return. Yuzu felt like she knew better than to bother her. Not now. Not while the wounds were still so fresh.

Although she was positive she wouldn't be able to sleep, she tucked herself into bed anyway, and tried to close her eyes.

When she opened them again, it was morning, the sun filtering through the glass. She smacked her lips, realizing how dry her throat was. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten a drink of water...

She sat up in bed with a groan, rubbing at her temples. It took her a full thirty seconds to realize that Ruri was sitting in her desk chair, hands on her knees, staring at her.

“You went to see him,” she said.

It wasn't a question. Yuzu felt her breath lodge in her throat—what was with Ruri's expression?

“Y-yeah,” she said.

She glanced past Ruri and realized that Rin's bed was empty. Where had she gone?

“Rin is with Selena and Masumi,” Ruri said. “I think she's telling them what she saw last night.”

Ruri tilted her head, her bangs almost shifting entirely over her eyes—but it did nothing to change the intense gaze that she was sending Yuzu's way. It was a gaze that made Yuzu tense up a bit, like she was being scrutinized down to her very last details.

“She said she saw Yugo in that boy,” she said. “And that he knew her name. And you saw the boy that gave you strength all those years ago.”

“Y-yeah,” Yuzu said. “What's your point?”

Ruri's lips tightened.

“If...if this was anything else...I would say it's some kind of strange trap,” she said, her voice tight. “That he...that he takes on a form of someone close to you or something to everyone's eyes, to trick you, but...but I've heard from Shun. And I trust my brother with my life.”

She looked pained, then, and her face slowly turned pale.

“And Shun said that Yuto is in there too,” she mumbled. “He said that...that Yuto is dead, and that his soul is now trapped in Yuya's body.”

Her hands tightened into the fabric of her leggings, and her head tilted forward—presumably to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes by covering them with her bangs. Yuzu's heart clenched, and she slid her legs over the side of the bed so she could reach for Ruri's hand, and squeeze it.

“I want you to take me,” Ruri said, her voice cracking. “Please. I didn't go down there with you before, I don't know how to get there, I want you to take me to see him, _please_...”

Yuzu couldn't answer for a few minutes. Her own chest was hurting so badly, just from knowing that Yuya was the boy that had given her strength. What was it like for Ruri and Rin? Their best friends...their best friends were trapped in Yuya's mind, and they were probably feeling so lost and helpless.

 _Is it possible for this to be such a coincidence...?_ Yuzu thought suddenly. _All three of us know one of the boys trapped in one body, somehow...three of us with the bracelets that Selena felt certain were important..._

Her lips parted. Her mind cast back to the day before, when everyone had come to check on her. Selena had been...awfully quiet...in fact, she hadn't really heard much about the issue from her one way or another...

_Does...does she know him too...? Is that even possible, for that to be that much of a coincidence?_

“Please,” Ruri said, bringing Yuzu back to herself. “Please. I need to see him. I need to know for certain.”

Yuzu swallowed. She wanted to do it. She wanted to go see Yuya again, like she had promised she would. But part of her shied away from the idea of seeing him chained up like that again...to know that he was in pain, and that there was nothing she could do...

And how would they get there? They would have to wait until nighttime, right?

“I can show you the way, but...can we even leave the dorms, yet?”

Ruri shook her head.

“The nuns brought in breakfast for us this morning, it's all out in the hall,” she said. “We're not allowed to leave, not until they finish...deliberating, I guess. We haven't heard much.”

Yuzu hummed.

“Getting out in the daylight is going to be a little hard...” she said. “Any ideas?”

Ruri just cocked an eyebrow at her, and her lips twitched.

“I might have a few.”

* * *

Ruri's idea involved birds—shocker. She took them back to her room, first.  Her room had a window that actually opened, to accommodate her Blessing with birds. She got messages from her family a lot by falcon or other birds, so her window had been reluctantly remodeled, as a request from forest ward who had allowed Ruri to come to the convent in the first place.

From Ruri's window, Ruri called a sparrow over, and asked it to check around the dorms for guards. The sparrow reported back, and as soon as the sparrow told them that the guards were switching, they made their move.

Yuzu was getting used to the wriggling through windows, and she hopped down easily. She turned to give Ruri a hand in landing safely.

She felt so vulnerable in the daylight, but they bolted across to the safety of the trees, and in no time at all, they were at the shrine.

“They're not guarding this door?” Ruri said.

“For some reason, no,” Yuzu said, frowning. “It's...it's weird, too...I don't think there's any way we could have missed that it was here...? And why would they put one out here in the first place?”

“Well, it is kind of hidden behind the shrine house, we don't go around very often,” Ruri said. “And they covered it with some kind of leaf covering, right?”

Yuzu wasn’t sure, but she had little more to add.

Ruri lifted the door and lowered herself down, but Yuzu took another quick, nervous glance around. Surely, someone would see them going down here...?

She carefully lowered herself into the ladder, reaching up to pull the door closed behind them.

Just before it fell shut, she could have sworn she saw someone appear out of basically nowhere, standing like a silent statue in the trees, and watching her.

She gasped, but the door was already closed. Had she...imagined that?

 _En_ , she thought, lips parting. _It...it was En. Wasn't it?_

She hadn't seen the strange pilgrim in the shrine for a while.  At least, not since the night they had almost been caught in this facility, and some stranger in a cloak had rescued them—Yuzu was almost positive that somehow, it had been En who had opened the door. But if that was true, then where had she come from, and where had she gone?

Feeling odd, Yuzu responded to Ruri's whisper to lead on, and hopped from the ladder.  She took Ruri's hand to help her down the dark tunnel. It had only been twice, now, but Yuzu felt like the path was getting more and more memorable. She took them through quickly, taking only a few moments to make sure the place was empty. It seemed strange to her that it would just so happen to be empty when they were coming to visit him...too much of a coincidence...was there some way that the nuns were watching this happen, for some reason? Weren't they trying to decide what to do with him—if that was true, wouldn't they be down here, watching him or something?

One way or another, they made their way to the cell at the end of the hall. It was still dark down here, what with there being no windows, so Yuzu had to grow another glow flower.

Yuya startled at the sudden light, his eyes squinting.

Yuzu felt her heart leap when she saw his eyes light up. Then he quickly tamped it down, hunching his shoulders.

“You came back,” he said, sounding a mixture of surprised and relieved. “Y-you probably shouldn't have.”

“I told you I would,” she said, putting the flower down and smiling at him. “Besides...there's someone that wanted to see you, too.”

Yuya looked up towards Ruri, and his eyes widened. His lips parted. For a moment, both of them just stared.

And then Ruri slowly sank to her knees, pressing herself against the bars.

“Yuto,” she whispered, her voice cracking.  “Goddess, it...it is you...”

“You're...Ruri,” Yuya said.

Ruri blinked back tears, smiling and nodding.

“A-and you're Yuya, right?” she said. “Sorry. I didn't mean to not greet you...”

“No, it's all right,” Yuya said quickly. He paused, like he was listening. “Yuto's—really happy to see you.”

Ruri hiccuped, covering her mouth with one hand, but her eyes were shining and she was smiling so big that she looked like she might burst out laughing.

“I can't believe it,” she said. “You...I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you, Yuto. I thought...I thought because of me...”

“It wasn't your fault,” Yuya said quickly. “Is what Yuto says. It definitely wasn't your fault.”

Ruri crumpled against the bars, her forehead pressing between two of them.

“I...I don't know how to feel,” she said, tears dripping onto the floor. “I—you're here, but y-you're not...if I had just...if I had just practiced more with my Blessing, I could have convinced that eagle to go help you, if I was just a little stronger...you wouldn't have been taken in the first place, you wouldn't be trapped like this—”

Yuya tried to wriggle forward a bit, but his chains held him fast.

“No,” he said, fervently. “It wasn't your fault! Yuto doesn't want you to blame yourself!”

He hesitated to listen to Yuto in his head, and then relayed the message.

“'Please don't do this to yourself,'” he repeated. “'Please...I'm just glad to know you're all right. I'm still here, sort of, after all. Please don't cry.'”

Ruri hiccuped again, and pressed her palm into her lips. Yuzu almost felt like an outsider now, just watching this all play out in front of her. Her heart felt tight and she wanted to cry, too.

Then Ruri lifted her head, and her shining eyes found Yuya's in the dark.

“We'll see each other again,” she said. “We'll be able to see each other again, face to face. I know it.”

Yuzu heard Yuya's breath catch, and her own breath lodged in her throat as well.

“R-Ruri,” Yuya said. “I...I don't...you shouldn't get your hopes up like that...”

“I know,” she said, cutting him off. “I know what you're going to say. I know what Yuto's going to say.”

“I killed him,” Yuya said, his eyes bubbling with tears. “I'm sorry, Ruri, but I—I killed him, I didn't want to, but he's dead...he might be in my head, but he's...his body is broken and buried and—”

“I _know_ ,” Ruri said, her voice choking for a moment. She had to hesitate to get a hold of herself. “Listen, please...I know.”

She licked her lips.

“But I...I _know_ I'll see you again,” she said, hands tightening on the bars. “I know. Despite that—despite what happened to you, where you are right now, despite knowing what you're here to do—what all four of you are here to do—I know something has to change.”

Her smile was shining and filled with far more hope than Yuzu could imagine possible, and Yuzu felt her own soul leap a bit at the sight. She couldn't imagine how Yuya and Yuto and the other two were feeling at the sight, trained right on his eyes.

“Maybe it's foolish,” she said. “But seeing you here...even like this...knowing that you're speaking to me when I thought you were gone forever—I believe in miracles, Yuto, Yuya, all of you. I'm looking at one right now.”

Yuya sounded like he was about to choke on his tears, his lip trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“I don't know what to say,” he mumbled.

Ruri shook her head.

“Don't say anything,” she said, soothing. “Just...just be here.”

She tried to reach through the bars towards him, but she could just barely touch his cheek.

“I'm sorry,” she said, voice cracking. “I want to do more than just—wax poetic at you. You look so...so cold...”

She bit her lip. Yuya winced, but he forced a smile.

“I'm fine,” he said.

“You don't have to lie,” Yuzu said, finally finding a way to get back into the conversation. She leaned in, gripping the bars as he looked at her. “I know...I know this is too hard. I want to—I want to reach in there and rip all of those chains off of you right now.”

Her voice trembled as she realized just how true it was. She didn't want to see this anymore. Didn't want to see him all chained up like worse than a common criminal anymore. Her heart thumped so hard in her chest that she could barely breathe for it.

Yuya shook his head quickly.

“N-No, I should stay right here,” he said. “I...I can already feel that the new moon is coming soon...please, promise me you won't be here when that happens.”

Yuzu's lips parted. The new moon? What was wrong with the new moon?

 _Demons walk when the moon sleeps,_ the old adage went. But did that mean...?

“I'll be dangerous then, even with these,” he said. “Listen...I'm really, really glad that I got to meet you guys...I'm really just...so happy that you came to see me.”

He smiled, but he looked so tired.

“But you have to stop. I...I don't want you to be hurt when...when everything happens.”

Ruri's hands tightened on the bars so tensely that her knuckles went white.

“I told you,” she said. “I won't let that happen. I'll see you again, Yuto. And all three of you—I'll get to meet all of you properly.”

“Ruri...”

She stood up with a snap.

“You're right, though, we should go before anyone sees us...” she said. “I'll be back...I'll see you again.”

“Please, don't,” Yuya said.

Yuzu knelt down and reached through the bars, to push the flower in front of him again. She smiled.

“Wait for us, please,” she said. “We'll all see you again. Rin too, I'm sure.”

“Why?” Yuya said, his voice cracking. “Why? I'm—I'm your enemy...please...”

“No, you're not,” Ruri said, almost harshly.

Yuzu shook her head.

“No, Yuya,” she said. “We're friends. And friends...friends take care of each other.”

Yuya's lips parted. And then his eyes bubbled with tears, his eyes squeezing shut. He licked his lips.

“You need to go,” he said suddenly. “I hear someone coming.”

Yuzu didn't hear a thing, but Yuya's voice was low and worried, so she believed him.

“We'll be back,” she promised again.

“I'll see you again,” Ruri repeated.

Yuzu had to practically drag Ruri down the hall, she was so desperate to keep looking back at Yuya for as long as possible.

When they reached the vial room and slipped out through the back door, Yuzu glanced across at Ruri. She wanted to gauge her face.

Ruri looked determined, her eyes flint hard.

“I'm going to do something,” she said, pushing her way out of the trap door. “We're going to find a way to do something, Yuzu.”

Yuzu looked back towards the woods. She wondered if she would see En again—but she didn't. She nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “We're going to do something.”

_I want to save you._

  



	34. THIRTY-FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Conturbatio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSv72WXL4k8)

****_ The outsiders are being temporarily held in the library, for a lack of any other holding cells. They have not been allowed pilgrimage status because of their association with the Demon Emperor. _

_ Only Shun Kurosaki is allowed to walk freely, because he's an ambassador from Corkoro that they can't afford to offend. _

Selena, technically, was not supposed to know any of this. There was no possible logical explanation for why she knew this. She just... _ did _ .

_ One of the outsiders is named Reiji Akaba. _

_ He's probably the one who knows how to help _ .

Sometimes she just... _ knew _ things. It always happened at night, when everything got nice and quiet and everyone started to fade away, and it was just Selena and the sky over head. She knew things, then. Things like who she needed to talk to and where they would be to make something happen—she didn't always know what the something was, but she knew that it was important.

Things like the exact movement of the changing of the guards, so that she could push her way out through the front doors of the dorms and walk towards the library completely unseen and unnoticed.

The first time it had happened, she had been eight years old. Freshly brought to the temple and left by her parents, a tribute acolyte to serve the demon for her family. She never heard from them or saw them again. She didn't even remember their faces. But she remembered the night of the full moon that day, looking longingly out at the world through the thin slatted window of her new prison, and the woman who had appeared in the shadow there, face covered in a cowl.

“What do you think of the moon?” she had asked.

“It's beautiful,” Selena had told her.

For one reason or another, the woman had smiled at that, and pushed a cold metal bracelet through the slatted window.

“Hang onto it,” she had said. “It will take care of you.”

As soon as Selena had put it on and she had seen the moonlight dance across its gem, the woman was gone. But in her place was a deep, burning knowledge of where Selena had to go.

In her mind's eye as she walked towards the library, she saw the dark, twisting paths through the dead landscape around the temple, the path she had taken to the heavy black doors, the way they had fallen away at her touch without even the barest hint of resistance. The shadowy tunnels of the temple, with their high arches and dark alcoves, the eerie silence that rang through the black and the dark.

She remembered the sound of something thwumping hard against a wall, a rough, angry voice, and the sudden burst of intuition that told her to press herself into a corner. She remembered the shadowy man bursting out through the door, his face twisted in a rage.

_ “Maybe you'll be willing to be cooperative after a few more days without food,” _ he snarled.  _ “Think about it before I return.” _

He left the door unlocked. It seemed odd to Selena, until she slipped through it in his wake and found that the boy inside had absolutely no way of escaping, even through a locked door.

His tiny frame curled up tightly on the floor, ankles bolted to the ground by a heavy chain. The back of his shirt had been ripped open, and his back was scattered with thick, nasty red welts.

The intuition left her then—she didn't know what she was supposed to do. So she just ran across the space, dropping down next to him with her heart jumped.

_ “Are you okay?” _ she said.

He flinched, head flashing up towards her with wide eyes. For a moment, he looked groggy and dizzy, and he had to squint.

_ “D-Dennis?” _ he mumbled.  _ “N-No...” _

Selena's hands hovered awkwardly in the air, bracelet glowing around her wrist—her throat was tight and she didn't know what to do.

“Who are you?” the boy said, the boy who was, she could now see, the Demon Emperor.

She almost choked on her own name, but managed to get it out.

_ “I'm Selena,” _ she said.

He stared at her for a long time. And then his lips curled back into a thin, wry smile.

_ “Did you maybe come to put me out of my misery?” _

Selena came back to the present, her hand resting on the library door.

Like before, it was unlocked. It was always unlocked, every door she needed to pass through in one of these episodes was. She wondered if that was part of the power—or if...perhaps...someone was opening the doors she needed to get through for her.

She heard a few faint gasps of surprise at the sound of the door opening, and it took her a few minutes to adjust to the light inside the library. She counted five people sitting around the table nearest to the door—the man with the frizzy orange hair stood up first, hands braced on the table.

“Who are you?” he said, eyes narrowing.

Selena glanced around, but her intuition was already starting to fade. It lingered just long enough for her to know that Reiji wasn't there.

“Excuse me for interrupting,” she said, folding her arms. “But I need to speak with a Reiji Akaba.”

_ “I don’t know...” _ her past self whispered to the broken boy on the floor.  _ “But...but if I can, I want to help.  I promise I’ll find a way to get you free.” _

This time, Selena would keep her promise.

* * *

Yuya had absolutely no way of telling time. Since the nuns had chained him up down here, he hadn't seen them again. He wondered...if they were scared of him.

“ _ Of course they are,” _ Yuuri said.  _ “We're the big bad demon lord, remember?” _

Yuya couldn't feel his fingers, and he winced, trying to shift into a slightly more comfortable position, but it was absolutely no use. He couldn't even lower himself a little bit more onto his heels, he was stuck sitting on his knees and he was starting to ache horribly. He healed as the chains burned him, but it was a vicious cycle that he wasn't getting used to.

“You'd think they'd come to like...I dunno...check on us or something...?” Yuya said.

“ _ Maybe they're hoping we just die from the chains or something,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ That's kind of morbid,” _ Yuto said.

“ _ We're kind of morbid, aren't we? I mean—we're trying to commit suicide.” _

Yugo sounded a lot harsher than he normally did, and Yuya wondered if it was because of Rin. Yuto had gotten time to see Ruri, but...but Yugo had only barely seen Rin before she fled. Yuya felt his stomach twist. Why was he the one that had had to live? The other three all had someone they wanted to see in person again...what about him? He had nothing and no one to go back to...his home was burned to the ground, his parents were dead. There was Gongenzaka, of course, and those he had met along the way on this journey, but...but he didn't feel like he really belonged with any of them.

Not for the first time, he wished that he was one of the voices trapped in the head of someone else, so that he could just watch things play out...

A boot squeaked on the floor, and Yuya startled up. A nun? Or was Yuzu back?

Torchlight flickered around her face as she appeared, her face drawn, white, and hesitant, chewing on her lip. Yugo let out a tiny moan.

“ _ Rin,” _ he mumbled.  _ “She came back!” _

Rin just stood there and stared for a long moment—so long that Yuya almost started to become uncomfortable. Then she wedged the torch into a bracket on the end of the hall next to the cell, and flopped down in front of Yuya.

“I'm sorry,” she mumbled. “I'm sorry I ran, Yugo. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—”

Tears bubbled up in her eyes and immediately began to roll down her cheeks. Yugo's heartbreak was so poignant that Yuya was already starting to cry too.

“ _ Tell her it's okay, it's okay, she doesn't have to apologize, it's fine—” _

“It's okay,” Yuya tried to soothe. “It's okay...Yugo's not mad.”

“ _ I would have done the same thing, really, I—I would have panicked too, it's okay—” _

Yuya was having a hard time translating Yugo's babbles and listen to Rin's babbles back, as she continued to apologize over and over again.

“It's my fault they took you, it was because I got mad and decided to storm off on my own to look for scrap, if I had just been with you, they couldn't have taken you, not without me, and now because of me, you're like this, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry—”

“It's okay,” Yuya said, over the sounds of Yugo babbling in his head incoherently. “Yugo's not angry with you, at all, he keeps apologizing, too, saying that he should have fought more to get back to you, he's just really glad that you're okay and that you didn't get into any trouble looking for him.”

Rin let out a hollow, blunt laugh, and then pressed a hand to her mouth. She leaned against the bars, shoulders trembling.

“I think I did get myself into a lot of trouble,” she said. Her eyes widened then, and she leaned forward. “T-they haven't hurt you, have they? I mean—any of you, I know there's—a couple of you. Have they done anything?”

Yuya shook his head quickly.

“No, we're all fine,” he said. “I actually haven't seen anyone besides you girls since they put me down here...”

Rin's shoulders slumped with relief for a moment, letting all her air out in a rush. Then she blinked, lips parting.

“Wait—hang on,” she said. “That means...that means they haven't brought you food or anything, have they?”

“ _ Don't tell her the truth,” _ Yugo said quickly.  _ “Please—she gets so worried, please don't tell her—” _

Yuya bit back his initial sentence, hesitating. The truth was, he was  _ starving _ ...and his throat was so dry that it was hard to talk. He had tried to sleep it off, but...his body had started to become used to getting food more often, as Crow and Gongenzaka nagged at him to eat almost all the time. It wasn't like he could die, though...

“They haven't been,” Rin said, her voice arcing. “Oh fucking goddess, they haven't even been feeding you.”

“Rin, it's okay, we're immortal like this anyway, it's fine—”

“It's not! It's not fine at all!”

She looked  _ furious _ , her eyes narrow and jaw clenched with her teeth bared. She lurched to her feet.

“I'm coming back with food,” she said.

“Rin, please, you don't have to, it's not safe for you to be down here anyway, much less to come back—”

“You can't stop me,” she snarled. “I'm getting you something to eat—and then we'll start talking about getting you the fuck out of here.”

Yuya's breath caught.

“R-Rin, there isn't any 'getting out of here',” he said. “I came here to—”

“Find the champion so that you could die, I know!”

She snapped it so fiercely that Yuya actually flinched. Her voice immediately got softer, looking a bit chagrined.

“Listen, Yugo...Yuya...all four of you,” she said. “You don't get it. I think Yuzu was trying to tell you, but you really don't get it. This place can't help you. There is no champion, and I don't think there ever will be.”

Yuya felt his heart plummet into his stomach so fast that he almost choked on it. W-what was she saying...?

“This whole place is a goddamn lie,” Rin said, her voice shaking. She had to hold onto the bars with one hand to keep herself up. “They've been—they've been doing shit to my head—to a lot of us. They're trying to force the goddess to revive in us, erasing our own souls.”

Yugo swore, and Yuuri made a soft, breath catching noise.

“They don't know how to make a champion,” Rin said, her voice trembling. “So they're trying to make a goddess instead. I don't even remember what happened to me down here, but I saw it in the records, and I—”

She choked on her words and had to stop. Yugo practically snarled in Yuya's head.

“ _ I'll kill them,”  _ he said.  _ “I'll kill them for hurting her!” _

“ _ Yugo, sh,” _ Yuto tried to soothe.

“I won't let them hurt you too,” she said, her fists tightening. “I absolutely won't. I just—I finally found you again.”

Her voice cracked, but she kept talking.

“I'm coming back with food,” she said. “That's final.”

She turned on her heel and stalked away down the hall, and Yuya could only watch her go, feeling more helpless than ever.

_ There's...there's no champion...? And there isn't going to be...? _

_ What do I do now, then...? _


	35. THIRTY FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [face the truth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQOHp1-K-VQ)

**** Edo woke up with a pounding pain in his temple and an ache in his back and leg. He groaned, trying to sit up—but a hand pressed on his chest, holding him down.

“No,” a woman's voice said. “You stay exactly where you are, High Priest.”

There was something about the way that she said 'High Priest' that seemed more angry than it should be, but Edo was too dizzy to think about what that meant. He could sense irritation and distaste wafting from the speaker, but he wasn't sure why. He tried to squint through the blur and grogginess. All he could really make out was a blur of red hair. His memory sparked slightly—a tunnel system...and a woman with red hair...Sora pulling him through the air...

He groaned at a sudden pang of horrible pain shuddering through him.

“S-Sora,” he gasped.  “Is...Sora...all right...”

The hand holding him down loosened slightly.

“He’s fine,” the woman said, finally, with a terse snap to her voice.  “You lost a lot of blood, so try not to move too much.”

Her hand lifted from his chest.

“Dennis, can you tell Sora that he's awake?”

“Yeah, hang on.”

Edo heard the soft clunk clunk sound of wood against wood, and then a door easing open. He groaned, closing his eyes again. He felt the woman dabbing something that stung slightly at his temple, and he tried to hold still.

She huffed.

“Well, are you with us in the land of the living, High Priest?”

“I...I believe so...”

She made a soft huff that almost sounded like “too bad,” and then the door opened again and Edo opened his eyes to see Sora bolting through the door, practically skidding against the side of the bed.

“Oy, don't jostle my patient,” Aki said.

“Edo,” Sora gasped, relief bubbling off of him in waves. “Y-you're alive.”

Edo tried to smile.

“Yes...yes I'm alive,” he said. He groaned against the brief pain again. “Are you hurt...?”

“N-no, I’m fine, you’re the one that got all ripped up and shit...I’m so sorry, I should have come right back!”

Edo tried to shake his head.  He winced at the pain that came with it.

“You were right. You were right all along, Sora...I'm sorry for not believing you.”

Sora shook his head quickly. Edo could feel the way that Sora's emotions were almost fit to burst with relief.

“I was—I was sounding kind of crazy without any proof,” he said, sniffling. “I just—I'm glad we made it here in time...”

Edo swallowed, squinting again. Besides the woman, there was another person in the room—it was his own room, Edo realized, his own tiny study with his bed folded out. They all barely fit in here together. The woman stood over him with her arms folded, and past her, he saw a young man carefully easing himself back into the desk chair, wincing as he shifted the crutch out from under his arm. That was...ah, Edo recognized him—that was Dennis, Roger's serving boy...what was  _ he _ doing here?

Edo swallowed.

“Roger,” he said, his mind going back to the problem at hand. “Roger has been—oh,  _ demons. _ ”

He felt sick just thinking about it. The woman made a soft tutting noise, feeling irritated, as though disappointed in his slowness—but yet appraising, he thought.

“I guess you  _ are _ the way Sora described you,” she said, sounding reluctant. “Doesn't mean I still trust you worth a damn.”

Edo shifted his head over to squint at her.

“I suppose I technically owe you my life,” he said tersely. “But who exactly are you?”

“This is Aki,” Sora said. “She's the one that helped me when I escaped with Dennis.”

“When you—what?”

“I think we need to start from the beginning, huh?” Dennis said from behind Aki, sounding mock joking.

Edo nodded. Despite the dizziness, he tried to force himself up into a sitting position. Aki made an offended sound, but he moved anyway, getting himself propped up against the headboard and sucking in a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

“The beginning would probably be appreciated,” he said. “Exactly where the beginning is, though...it's hard to say.”

“You already know what happened to Yuya,” Dennis said. “So we can start with the festival.”

Edo blinked. He wasn't sure what to make of Dennis in the first place—his emotions were all very dull, and it was hard to get a handle on what he was feeling.

“Yuya? Who is that?”

“That's the Emperor's real name,” Sora said. “Dennis knew him.”

“You  _ spoke _ with the  _ Emperor _ ?”

Dennis sighed.

“He's a kid,” Dennis said. “He's just scared and alone...yeah, I talked to him. Sometimes he was the only thing that kept me from offing myself.”

He winced as he shifted in his chair. Edo wasn't sure if he was in awe, or if he was mortified at how casually Dennis spoke of the Emperor. This was...this was all going to be a lot to take in. He swallowed—he just had to listen. He didn't have to understand everything, he just had to remember that everything he had thought was real was not. He had to listen to the truth.

“I'm the reason Yuya—that the Emperor—went missing at the festival,” Dennis said. “I set the firebomb, and I gave him the smokepill to help him escape.”

Edo's chest tightened.

“You mean...the Emperor really  _ was _ trying to escape.”

“You saw what was down there in those tunnels,” Sora said. “Wouldn't you want to get away?”

“I understand,” Edo said, feeling tense in spite of himself. “I...I did see it.”

He had  _ felt  _ it. Felt the wracking emotional pain that still clung to the altar, felt the Emperor's fear and pain and anguish as though he had been him if only for a few moments. He still shuddered to remember even just the hint of that pain and horror—to imagine that the Emperor had had to go through with that horrible ritual over and over again...

“If I had only known sooner,” he mumbled. “If...if I could have done something...if he could have come to me...”

“Yeah, well...neither of us really trusted any of the priests,” Dennis said, his emotions spiking briefly with tense anger. They faded back into that dullness once more, and Edo felt his chest tighten again. If all of that in the tunnels was what Roger had done to the Emperor...Edo shuddered to think what he must have done to Dennis, someone who was disposable to him.

“Anyway,” Dennis said. “Yeah. I'm the reason that Yuya escaped. He's probably out in the world now...I hope he got out of the city...”

“He did,” Edo said. “We had to send someone out to—”

He swore then.

“Grace and Gloria,” he said, feeling his face whiten. “They're still tracking him down...they don't know what's happened...”

Dennis whitened, and the room got tense with uncertainty.

“They'll drag him back,” Dennis said. “They'll bring him back to this hellhole, and then what was all of that even  _ for— _ ”

His emotions were spiking so badly, between fear and anger and terror and self-loathing, that Edo almost felt dizzy.

“Dennis,” he said, in a firm, soothing voice, and Dennis snapped to look at him with surprise. “Calm down.”

Something about Edo's tone must have surprised Dennis enough, because his emotions settled.

Edo closed his eyes. Think. What could he do? A falcon might not reach them in time...

His throat was dry, but he knew there was only one answer.

“We have to make sure that if and when they bring him back,” he said, eyes opening, “that  _ we  _ are the ones who are in control here.”

Aki's emotions jumped with surprise.

“Are you saying...?” she said.

Edo nodded. And in spite of himself, a faint smile spread over his lips.

“Yes,” he said. “What I am suggesting is...a coup.”

Dead silence.

And then Sora broke out into a huge grin.

“Now that's what I'm talking about,” he said. “See, Aki, I told you that would be what Edo wanted to do.”

Aki huffed, but he could sense a faint mixture of being impressed and wary from her.

“And what do you want to get out of this?” she said. “You want to be the High Priest of the Inner Circle yourself?”

Edo snorted.

“I don't have any use for titles,” he said. “The only thing that matters to me is that my lord is safe—and he cannot be safe as long as the city remains under Roger's control.”

Aki appraised him, frowning. He could sense her studying him, uncertain about how to feel about him. Then she huffed.

“You're insane, and I still really, really don't like you,” she said. “You're the reason a lot of good friends of mine are dead.”

_ Ah _ , Edo realized.  _ Resistance. Sora found her in the resistance. _

He inclined his head.

“You do not have to like me,” he said. “You don't even have to work alongside me.”

Aki shook her head.

“This isn't about liking you,” she said. “This is about taking this goddess-damned city back from the people that squeezed the life out of it.”

She glared at him.

“I don't trust you,” she said. “But I do trust your desire to protect the Emperor. For that, we can agree—he's a good kid who didn't deserve any of this. I'll fight for him, as well as my city.”

Edo smiled, and then he held out his hand.

“Perhaps, then,” he said, “we might consider a temporary alliance?”

Aki stared at his hand for a moment. Then she let out a breathy laugh, and accepted his hand.

“Shinji is not going to fucking believe this,” she said.

Edo half smiled. Sora let out a thin whoop.

“ _ Finally _ ,” he said. “Time to kick Roger's sorry ass.”

“Language, Sora,” Edo admonished.

  
  



	36. THIRTY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Shimmering Tears](https://youtu.be/aicnRxMPxMc)

The minute the doors were open, Yuzu found herself smothered in her father’s hug until she almost choked.

“Dad, I can’t breathe,” she mumbled into his chest, but he didn’t respond right away, squeezing her tightly against him with one hand against her hair.  She gave in, wrapping her arms around his waist and pushing her face into his shoulder.

Tears prickled at her eyes.  Had it really been days since she had seen her father…?

“They wouldn’t tell us anything,” he said finally, finally breaking away from her and cupping her face.  “Are you all right?  I’ve heard so many rumors about why they decided to close down the dorms—”

“I’m find, dad, I’m not hurt,” she said.  She closed her eyes and leaned her face into his hand, suddenly feeling incredibly weak in the knees.  He caught her before she collapsed, hugging her again.

“What happened?” he said.  “There’s…the rumor…”

“I’ll tell you everything, but…”

She curled her hands into her father’s shirt and looked nervously over his shoulder, at the nuns and monks who were making their rounds around all of the students, the ones who were reuniting with family or non-university student friends who hadn’t been confined to their dorms.  She caught Masumi’s eye.  Masumi hovered awkwardly a few feet away from Hokuto, who was speaking very quickly to his mother in their native language.  She didn’t have anyone living in Rayglen to be greeting.

The entirety of the village was here, it seemed like—she hadn’t realized just how many people actually lived full time in Rayglen until now.  They filled up almost the entire green between the dorms and the church, everyone having been called to attention for a special announcement by the abbess.  This hadn’t happened even once in Yuzu’s memory, not something that needed to be relayed to all of Rayglen all at once.

Her father looked at her uncertainly when she trailed off.

“Is something wrong?” he said.

Yuzu swallowed.  She wondered if she looked as pale as she felt.  Tears prickled at her eyes.

“Dad,” she said.  “I’m…I’m scared.”

“Oh, sh, sh, baby girl, it’s going to be okay,” he said stroking her hair.  “They’re going to tell us exactly what’s going on.”

“Not about that,” Yuzu said.  “Dad—I’ve—I’ve found out things.  T-things I don’t think they wanted us to know about.  I’m scared what they’ll do if they find out that I know it.”

Her father’s lips parted, and his eyes narrowed.  His hand tightened very slightly on her wrist.

“Are you saying you’re scared of the order?”

Yuzu nodded, her lips pressed tightly together.

Her father cast a suspicious glance almost immediately at one of the nuns, who was holding up her hands and trying to calm down a yelling mother.  Yuzu felt something in her melt at his sudden shift—he wasn’t questioning her.  He was believing her already.  Her heart relaxed and she almost fell over again.

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” she said.

“I’d have to hear what you’ve found out first,” he said in a low voice.  “But if you’re scared of the order…I’ll believe you, Yuzu.  If you’re uncomfortable, there must be a reason.”

Yuzu almost started sobbing right then.  She should have come to him from the very beginning of all of this.  She should have told him exactly what she and her friends had been up to and what they had found right away.  Why hadn’t she trusted him?

A light bell tone rang out, and all attention turn to the makeshift dais that had been hastily put together in front of the church.  Mieru stood in front of it, placing the bell down on a pillow after having gotten everyone’s attention.  She clasped her hands together, bowed, and then sat down on her knees in front of the dais.

Yuzu tried to catch her eye, but it seemed like Mieru was in one of her dazes, and she didn’t respond.

Himika appeared then, stepping onto the raised platform and swooping down to the middle of the stage.  Yuzu felt her heart clench when she saw that not just one, but all three of the Mothers.  They were  _ all _ here.

Himika waited for the bell to resonate into quiet, leaving only the faint shuffling of feet and the hum of birds and insects in the trees.

“People of Rayglen,” she said in a low but carrying voice.  “We thank you for your attendance.  Let us assure you that we would not ask this of any of you unless it were truly necessary, for we are in a state of emergency.”

She paused, and Yuzu’s heart clenched.  How much was she going to tell?  The truth?  That they had the Demon Emperor locked up in their secret underground laboratory?

“This unexpected event may prove a blessing or a curse, and we ask for your complete cooperation for our safety and the safety of all future generations,” Himika continued.  “Several days past, we were successful in subduing and imprisoning the Demon Emperor.”

The entire crowd just about exploded. Whispers and almost shouts rang out, asking questions, talking amongst themselves.  Yuzu’s father’s hands tightened on her shoulders, pulling her close to him.

“Oh goddess,” he swore.

“Calm—calm!” Himika shouted.

Mieru had to ring the bell three times before the crowd got under some semblance of control again.  Whispers continued to flutter between the ranks.

“Rest assured that you are currently in no danger,” Himika said.  “The demon has little power without a new moon, and he is securely imprisoned and guarded.”

_ He’s not guarded, _ Yuzu thought hollowly.   _ At least, not very securely. _

“But the new moon rises tomorrow!” someone shouted, voice trembling.

“I assure you, we are doing everything in our power to keep him under control and there will be no problems,” Himika said tersely.  “But the need for a champion to rise becomes imminent.  All students will be required to attend further classes, and there will be extra guarding of our students as well to make sure they do not end up in harm’s way.  We do not have room nor quarter for argument.”

More murmurs and complaints, and Yuzu’s heart leaped.  This was it—they were going to basically institute martial law on them.  Keep them under close watch all the time, use any excuse to punish them with solitary so that they could run their experiments more frequently.  Her father clearly noticed her starting to tremble, because he hugged his arm around her shoulder a little tighter.

“Additionally, the border is officially sealed.  We apologize for this necessity, but there will be no admittance of pilgrims or traders, and no one will be allowed to leave for the outer towns.”

This got even louder cries of disapproval, shouts and angry rumbles that Yuzu didn’t have the brainpower to parse.  Himika let out a loud cracking clap to get everyone quiet again.

“This war could very well be almost behind us,” she said, through grit teeth.  “Our enemy is subdued, and soon, a champion  _ will _ emerge from among ours to finish him, and this war.  For the preservation of the goddess.”

The canned call and response was too ingrained in everyone, and the crowd mumbled back with various levels of enthusiasm  _ for the preservation of the goddess. _

Mieru stood, rang her bell again, and Himika and her cohort swept off of the stage, with Mieru tagging along behind them.  The crowd, however, didn’t disperse right away.  Instead, it clumped off into groups, people chattering and whispering about what had just happened.

“He’s  _ here _ ?” Yuzu’s father said, looking pale.  “Goddess…I brought you here because it was far away from him—”

He stopped when Yuzu curled her hand into his shirt, gripping him tightly, and looked down.

“What is it?” he said.  “Oh goddess, wait, is that what you found out?  That they have the demon here, and that’s why you’re—”

“No,” Yuzu said quickly.  “That’s not it.  Listen…”

She looked nervously at the nuns, but none of them were close.

“Do you remember my story about the day that I got my Blessing?” she said.

“Of course I do, you tell it all the time,” he said.

She swallowed.

“The boy,” she said.  “The boy that I grew the flowers for.  He showed up here a few days ago.”

Her father hesitated, so she kept talking.

“It’s him, dad.  He’s the Emperor,” she said.  “And—and please, you have to believe me, but he’s not evil, he’s scared, he’s just as scared as we were; his priests have been using him as a pawn for his entire life and he escaped and came here because he…because he wants to—to die.”

She hiccupped, pressing a hand to her mouth.

“Please, dad, you have to believe me, you—”

“Honey, it’s okay,” he said, soothingly taking both of her shoulders.  “I believe you.”

She almost choked.  Oh goddess…so quickly…?

“I’m not going to say it doesn’t sound a little unbelievable, but something’s clearly up here,” he said, soothing.  “Whether that means he’s lying to you…or the nuns are…I’m not sure.  But I believe  _ you _ .”

Yuzu practically fell against her dad, hugging him tightly and pressing her face into his chest.

“Thank you, dad, thank you, thank you,” she mumbled, over and over again.

He stroked her hair gently, hugging her back.

“I need to tell you a lot of things, but I don’t know if they’re going to let me out of their sight,” she mumbled.

Before her father could respond, however, Selena popped up beside them.  Yuzu looked over, blinking, and saw Selena hesitate with her mouth half open, eyes flickering to Yuzu’s father.

“It’s okay,” Yuzu said.  “I think—he knows half of it so far already.”

For her part, Selena didn’t question Yuzu’s decision to share things with her father.  She just jumped right into her subject.

“The Emperor came with his friends,” she said.  “They’re being held in the library.  They want to talk to us.”

“About what?” Yuzu’s father said.

Selena kept her focus on Yuzu.

“They want to help Yuya.”

* * *

“What a very rousing speech,” Reiji said sarcastically as Himika swept into the library.  “You’re more talented than I remember.”

Himika looked at him down her nose, and Reiji could feel the eyes of his comrades staring at him, probably for how out of character and familiar he was being with the woman.

“It took you almost four days to finally come and talk to us,” he said, crossing one leg over the other and folding his hands on his knees.  “Tell me, are you trying to rival father for his procrastination, or was that a strange attempt at a power play, mother?”

Sawatari actually spat and Crow swore.  Shun just raised his eyebrows at Reiji.

Himika—or rather, his mother—also raised her eyebrows at him.

“You brought me an interesting package,” she said,  “that had to be dealt with first.  You were secondary on my list of concerns.”

“Ah, so just like always, I see.”

His stomach roiled a bit when his mother referred to Yuya, though.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was happening to Yuya right now.

“If this is about my leaving, I should think you’re an adult enough to have grown up about it,” she said, sniffing.  “I almost thought your father should be glad that I chose a role as spiritual as his family’s, following the same goddess.  Is he still moping about?”

“He’s dead,” Reiji said evenly.  “But I know you, mother, and I know you already know.  You knew that father was dead, you knew that I was chased from our home, and you knew—though I suspect you cared about this the least—that Reira was imprisoned as a puppet king by your so-called enemy.  And yet—not a hint of assistance was sent or offered from Rayglen.  I couldn’t even find my way here without outside help.”

“You’re a smart boy, Reiji, you don’t need your mother to hold your hand,” she said, sniffing again. “And we all must make our sacrifices when we take on the cloth.  Unfortunately, my clergy family here requires more of my attention.”

Reiji only just barely managed to keep the absolute rage from his eyes and face, but it roiled just the same.

_ This is what she’s always done _ , he thought, jaw clenching.   _ Used my emotions against me.  Not this time, mother. _

Reiji fixed his glasses, using the motion to conceal how hard it was for him to hold it together.  He had  _ known _ he would see his mother here.  He had known from the beginning that she was the abbess of Rayglen.  When she had left, she had announced that that was what she was doing—to all of Shizenrei, in fact.  At the time, it had  _ looked _ like an appropriate move, to put the queen regent in power in the other branch of the Reian religion, while the king managed the main temple.

Of course, within the family itself, they all knew it was because she was angry that Reira had been born by another woman.

“You keep strange company,” she said, observing the others sitting at the tables in the library. Gongenzaka’s hands curled into fists on the table, and it was clear how much energy it was taking for him not to snap.

“One finds allies where they can when the ones that should be supporting them leave them without choice,” Reiji said, but this time he couldn’t keep some of the edge out of his voice.

“Why are you here, Reiji?” his mother said finally, looking him in the eye again.  “It’s not to visit your mother, clearly—I want to know what on the goddess’s green earth you were doing traveling with the demon.”

“I like to see all perspectives,” Reiji said.

“Don’t play word games with me, Reiji, not today,” she snapped.  “What is your game?  I’m your mother and I know you—you always have a scheme of some kind.”

Reiji pursed his lips.

His plan wasn’t exactly something he wanted to share with his estranged mother.  In fact, he was already getting most of it done.  He was lucky, he supposed, that they had nowhere else in this village to hold prisoners, and that they had had to be held in the library.  He had already done quite a bit of his research already.  Now all that was necessary was to get Yuya out and leave this place.

Well, perhaps he could tell part of the truth.  It would make the rest seem more believable.

“Because of a lack of outside support for my country’s fall,” he said, “I became somewhat desperate.  I went to Zarkania for the festival with the intent of taking any high ranking priest or official hostage, to barter for Shizenrei’s release.”

“That is a bold move, even for you,” his mother said, raising an eyebrow. “And what?  You kidnapped the  _ demon _ ?”

“No.  I found him later,” he said.  “He escaped on his own.”

His mother looked briefly shocked, and Reiji leaned forward, hoping to press his advantage.

“Mother,” he said.  “You have in your possession perhaps one of the most powerful allies against Zarkania you could ever imagine.  Yuya, the Emperor, is as much victim as any of us.  He wants nothing more to do with his priesthood.  Release him, allow him to walk freely and speak the truth.”

He held her eyes, wondering what she was thinking.  She was impossible to read.

“You want to bring down Zarkania?” he said.  “Let their god himself speak the words that will bring the end of the Empire.”

Himika just stood there for a long moment, considering him.  For a half second, Reiji thought maybe—just maybe—she was going to listen.

And then she let out a soft sigh.

“You’ve always been so much more naïve than you’ve ever wanted to admit,” she said, shaking her head.  “We are close to achieving our goddess, Reiji, and after that, we’ll need no other symbol.”

She turned and swept towards the door as Reiji felt his chest deflate.  He hadn’t really expected that to work, but…

She paused by the door before opening it.

“Rayglen is currently locked down, so I’m afraid I cannot allow anyone to leave before that lockdown is lifted,” she said.  “You may all remain here—until the Emperor’s execution date can be set.”

And then she swept outside the door, and let it close and lock behind her.

She had barely been gone more than a few moments before Gongenzaka roared to his feet.

“I won’t let that woman murder Yuya!” he said, his voice rumbling.  “Sweet goddess—how is that the representative of the goddess??”

“That’s your  _ mother _ ?” Crow said, staring at Reiji.

“My condolences,” Sawatari said.

“She’s always been like this,” Reiji said, rubbing his temples.

“Been like what?  A royal bitch?” Sawatari said.

Crow elbowed him and he spluttered.

“Sawatari is not exactly wrong, it’s fine,” Reiji said, smiling wryly.  “I didn’t actually think that I would find common ground with her.”

“So what now, then?” Shun said, his arms folded.  “We stay here and wait for however many years it takes until a champion appears?”

Reiji shook his head, lips tight.  He thought back to his very, very brief moments with the acolyte Selena, how she had told him in hushed tones that this place was not to be trusted, that it was just as manipulative as the Zarkanian order.

“Knowing my mother, she’s not just waiting for a champion to emerge,” he said.  “She did phrase as ‘we’re so close to achieving our goddess.’  Not our champion—our  _ goddess _ .”

“We can explain what that means.”

He startled briefly, looking up.

The windowpane near the door had been popped off, and Selena was slipping inside, landing lightly.  She turned around to hold out a hand to another girl, who jumped down behind her.

Reiji had to take a minute to recompose himself as more than just two girls appeared—when they all finally slid inside the library, he counted five female acolytes, two male acolytes, and an older man who looked as confused as Reiji felt.

Selena turned back to the group, putting her hands on her hips.

“We only have a few hours before they stop with the family reuniting thing and start doing a headcount on the acolytes,” she said.  “So…let’s compare some notes, huh?”


	37. THIRTY-SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [End of The Unknown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeJvxJkongo)

“I literally cannot believe this is happening,” Shinji mumbled—it was hard to tell if he was angry or just shocked.

Edo couldn’t blame him.  This was all very strange for him too.  He had never once foreseen a time where he would be standing outside the announcement balcony without his Emperor before him, without his other High Priest, and instead standing next to the two leaders of the resistance.  Aki, for her part, just grunted.  Her eyes were fixed behind them—which was probably for the best.  It had taken utmost care and secrecy to get them this far, and Edo had a thin fear that Roger would appear at any second, perhaps with those horrible hybrids in tow again.  His silence had been worrisome.  Roger knew that Edo was alive, and he knew that Edo wouldn’t stay quiet about what he had seen, so what was taking him so long?  Was he trying to wait to kill Edo in a moment where it would be most beneficial to him?

They had already rung the bells for an announcement, and the crowds were reluctantly gathering outside—Roger must know what was about to happen.  So why wasn’t he killing Edo off now?

Sora hadn’t wanted Edo to do this.  He hadn’t said it out loud, but Edo had seen it in his eyes.  But he had to.  The truth had to be spoken, regardless of the danger it put him in.  Sora was in the crowd now, having gone out to carry a message to those in the Outer Priests that Edo trusted, to tell them that Edo was about to say what he was about to say, that they would need to be ready for a fight.  He wondered if they had armed themselves.

He wondered if Sora had explained enough to them for them to know what sacrifice their god had been forced to make to give them those weapons in the first place.

Outside, through the thick curtain, Edo could hear the faint murmuring of a large crowd.  His heart leaped.  He could not remember the last time he had been this nervous—before, he had always been bolstered when standing here.  But then again, before, he had always been beside his god.

And now his god was far, far away, and Edo felt guilty for being glad that he was.  He hoped his falcon reached Grace and Gloria soon and told them the truth, and then he could rest easy about his god’s safety.

He heard the flap of wings as though in response to thinking about falcons, and the curtains fluttered from the wing beats of a falcon outside on the balcony.  That was Sora’s signal.  The crowd was in place, and Edo’s allies were informed of what was about to occur.

Aki put her hand on her sword, and he could feel her tensing with nerves in spite of her stony exterior.  Shinji rumbled with anxieties, but he drew his knife too and faced the opposite way down the dark stairs.

“Get going,” Aki said.  “We’ll cover you from behind.”

“Hopefully Roger’s too scared to show,” Shinji said.

Edo doubted it.  He just wasn’t sure what the game was here.

Steeling himself, he turned to the curtains after giving them a nod of thanks that he wasn’t sure they saw.  He hesitated just a moment before the curtains.  He had never stood on this balcony alone.

He braced himself.  This was for his god.  It was his duty.  And he would fulfill it.

Edo parted the curtains, and limped forward into the light.  He still hadn’t fully healed, and pain thrummed through him from each step. 

He paused for one moment just to adjust to the light outside, and then approached the balcony.

He felt the emotions beneath him swell first.  His powers were still raw and weakened from that attack a few days ago, and it was hard to blot it out even halfway, making him dizzy.  People were shocked or surprised, seeing only him emerge and none beside or behind him.  He heard increased murmuring, and looked down over the crowd.  Nearly the entire city was here—it had been mandatory to attend the Emperor’s announcements for years, and even though Edo wasn’t sending anyone out to knock on doors, most of them seemed to have shown up.  Among them, patches of crimson waited, staring up at him with more calmness.  He saw a few faces that he recognized even from this distance, saw their stony expressions, and knew that Sora had told them the truth already.  He had shown them the documents that were taken from the basement and Edo’s own letter with his personal sigil that proved that he was the one saying it, and that he was telling the truth.

There was a tension that ran through the crowd, especially as a few seconds wore on, and no second priest appeared, much less an Emperor.

Edo took only a second to draw in a steadying breath.

“People of Eclipsine,” he said, his voice echoing from the particular architecture of the building, allowing his voice to carry without shouting.  “I know there is fear and worry among the city, and that this call to listen has not caused that fear to falter.”

A few murmurs, grumbles, he had a feeling that there were many more people in the crowd that mistrusted him than he had ever thought before.  It was like a sheet had been pulled off of his eyes—even with his Blessing, he had never before understood just how much resentment and fear was among the people, how much fear was directed at the temple.

_ I helped do this _ , he thought, a sobering feeling.   _ I helped create this fear and mistrust…I was blinded by my fanaticism. _

_ I have to fix whatever I can. _

“In the past few days, horrifying truths have been revealed to me,” he said.  “Truths that, perhaps, had I been a more cognizant individual, I would have noticed sooner.”

He tensed slightly—was he imagining that sudden spike of malicious emotion?  It was hard to sense specific emotions in the surging ocean of it below him.

“This city, and all believers and non-believers under Zarkania’s flag, have been held hostage,” Edo said, raising his voice.  “And I have found that I have contributed to that—whether through my knowledge or not is irrelevant.  But the truth has been given to me now, and I believe it is far past the time that it is spoken—”

_ “EDO!” _

Sora’s scream was just a half-second too late, as he felt that sudden, tiny spike of malice again, and an arrow struck him right in the shoulder.

He let the blow spin him around and stagger back, behind the balcony—it was just his shoulder but—ugh.  It had gotten very, very close to his lungs.  How many times was he going to get hit with an arrow this week?

He pulled himself to the balcony so that he could peer from safety between the rails.  Who had shot him?  And—

Fuck.  That was it.  That was Roger’s plan.  Edo saw no less than five of his own Outer Priests struggling with a man in ragged clothing—the bow, however, even from this distance, was a very powerful one, one that would not be easy to get a hold of on his own.  That was Roger’s plan.  Have Edo assassinated in front of everyone by a rebel, send his own priests into a tizzy, and civil war between the priests and the resistance would break out.

Perhaps Roger hadn’t realized, then, that Edo had already made contact with the resistance?

At his cry of pain, Shinji burst through the curtains, dropping to one knee beside Edo.

“Shit,” he swore.  “We need to get you—”

“No,” Edo said, coughing—he hoped he wasn’t going to start tasting blood in his mouth.  “N-no.  I have to—finish talking.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Do you want this to be a war against your people, or a war with my people on your side?” Edo said, trying not to snarl.

Shinji flinched, but his jaw clenched.

“Help me stand up,” Edo said through grit teeth.

Shinji hesitated for just a moment, but then he got Edo up under the arm opposite the one with the arrow in it, and slowly helped him rise to his feet.

“I’m not dead yet, Roger,” Edo said, letting his voice echo through the chaos, causing some of the scuffle to pause.  “It seems I have no time to waste further on pretty words.  You all deserve to hear and know the truth that I have learned—the Emperor has been used, as have all of us.”

He grit his teeth against the pain, but he had the attention of the entire crowd now, everything was so silent, and the emotions were a dull, steady buzz of shock and tension.

“I was complicit, but no longer, not that I now know the truth.  The Emperor has been wrongfully imprisoned by High Priest Roger—he has been routinely tortured for his blood to use in the weapons that keep the populace oppressed.  This religion has been used as a weapon to harm and hurt, while Emperor is used as an unwilling pawn.”

Edo’s voice was raising higher and higher, and the struggle below resumed as the man with the bow attempted to shoot Edo again, but his priests kept him down.

“Roger and his priests have made a mockery of this sacred place, and a mockery of both believers and non-believers under the Zarkanian flag.  The Emperor has already fled to safety beyond these walls—but I stand before you now with the truth, and with a last plea.”

He swallowed, feeling dizzy.  Might have been from the arrow, or maybe the situation.

“Let us no longer be broken between priest and citizen.  High Priest Roger would have us all fall to his ambition.  I ask this last request: priest, citizen, rebel—join hands with me to fight him.  Join with me and let me join with you, that we can end this false reign and restore our world to one without fear.”

The reaction was nearly immediate.  Most of Edo’s priests let out shouts of approval.  The crowd went briefly wild, fighting, shouting, scuffling.

And then Aki yelled, Shinji swore, and Edo felt a knife scrape against his back just before Shinji flung him forward out of harm’s way, making him crash against the railing and have all the wind knocked out of him.  He could only sit there, dizzy for a few moments, as he heard the immediate clashing of weapons down below him and the shick sound of dagger hitting dagger before Shinji let out an oof and a thump as he fell back against the railing.

A hand knotted into Edo’s hair and whipped him around, pressing him back against the balcony and practically bending him over it.  He scrabbled at the hand on his throat—intimately aware, suddenly, of how high up this balcony was and the fact that he was hovering just inches from being tossed off of it.

Roger curled his lip at Edo.

“I always knew you’d be the one to ruin everything,” he said.

He didn’t waste time on more words, simply lifting his knife and stabbing for Edo’s heart.

The knife froze just inches off of Edo’s chest and Edo gasped. Roger’s face went red—but he couldn’t seem to move his hand, it was like the knife was frozen in midair.   _ Sora _ .

Like a comet, Sora blurred through the air and his knee struck Roger right square in the face.  He released the knife and it thunked uselessly against Edo’s chest, but also—Roger had let go of Edo.

Edo couldn’t even find the air to scream as he tumbled off the side of the balcony—

An arrow shot past him, whipping past his hair, and then beneath him he heard the slithering sound of vines growing at incredible speeds before he felt himself yanked to a stop, dropping into a sudden net of vines.

He couldn’t see or think past his dizziness or the rush of unbridled emotion that swirled down below in the courtyard and out in the square where the fighting had already begun to rage.

_ I need to get out there, _ he thought, dizzy.   _ I need to…I need to be leading them. _

But overhead, he heard a voice snap out over the ground.

“We’re allying with the rebelling priests!” Shinji shouted.  “Support them!”

“You heard the man!” Aki screamed out overhead.  “We’re taking out the corrupt Inner Priests—so fight like you mean it, you sorry sons of bitches!”

_ Maybe…they can handle it…for now _ …

He let himself sink into the embrace of the vines that had caught him, and blacked out.

 


	38. THIRTY-EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Resistance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfgdk5sttIQ)

“It doesn't surprise me in the slightest,” Reiji said, as Yuzu finished her description of what was down in the basement. “Mother always was more scientist than cleric.”

Yuzu's father, however, simply swore. His arms tightened around her, even though she had tried to tell him it was okay, they had never experimented on her. She had just finished explaining the underground facility, with help from the other girls, and the experiments that the nuns were doing on the girls in solitary.

“All this time, that's what they were doing?” her father swore again. “I can't believe this—I brought you here to keep you safe, and yet, here they are, doing this to you?”

“Dad,” Yuzu mumbled, but she had a feeling he wasn't going to let her go any time soon.

“What a mess,” Crow mumbled, rubbing his hands over his eyes. “Both orders are fucking messed up, torturing kids for their own sick benefit.”

For a moment, they all fell into silence. Yuzu squirmed a bit, and finally got her father to release her, so that she could sit down in a chair around the library table. They made a...a strange group, she thought. Seven disillusioned acolytes, a university professor, a missing prince, two resistance leaders, two Corkoro warriors, and a bard.

Reiji steepled his fingers, humming slightly. Sawatari, on the other side of the table, was  _ smiling _ for some reason, and drumming his fingers on the table, mumbling something about wishing he had his lute.

“Well,” Reiji said. “It seems for the most part, we're all up to speed on both sides of the story. You all know Yuya's story, where he came from, and what he plans to do. Likewise, I know my mother's true intentions here.”

He fixed his glasses.

“The fact of the matter is this...Yuya is still on the verge of becoming a full demon,” Reiji said. “And unfortunately, that cannot be overlooked.”

“Are you saying that we  _ do _ need to find a way to kill him?” Crow demanded.

“Don't you fucking dare,” Rin said, standing up quickly and slamming her hands on the table.

Reiji held up his hands.

“That's not my intent,” he said. “I must ask—do you all know the Tenets of Duality?”

Yuzu's father frowned.

“That's old stuff,” he said.

“You've heard of it, then,” Reiji said. “The theory that creation begets destruction, and destruction begets creation.”

Yuzu's head spun. She logically understood what it meant, but...what  _ did _ it mean?

“Even if Yuya is killed, his soul will likely pass on to the next person, and the cycle will start all over again, forcing another poor soul to undergo this fate,” Reiji said. “Nothing can ever be truly destroyed—it always becomes something else in the wake of destruction.”

“You want to find a way to stop that cycle,” Ruri said quietly.

Reiji nodded.

“I have been doing some research here, while in imprisonment—which was convenient for me, as that was the reason I came in the first place,” Reiji said. “I believe that from the knowledge I've gained here...I may have located Sanctuary. The last dwelling place of the goddess.”

The words hung in the air for a long moment.

“You...you want to go find the real goddess?” Masumi said, her voice cracking with awe.

Reiji nodded.

“I believe that Sanctuary may hold, at the very least, a clue as to what really happened to the demon—and hopefully...how to release Yuya from his fate.”

Yuzu's heart fluttered. Could such a hope exist...?

“Destruction was always a necessary part of the world,” Sawatari said, humming a bit as he drummed his fingers in tune on the table. “Which is what leads us to believe that something caused that force to become corrupt, in the way it is now. But if we could purify that force and return it to its original state...”

“Yuya won't become a demon,” Yuzu said, her heart jumping. “Is that possible?”

Reiji grimaced.

“It's impossible to know for sure,” he said. “But I don't trust my mother farther than I can throw her. If she can't find a way to kill Yuya, she'll find a way to use him. She's opportunistic.”

He clenched his jaw. Gongenzaka pounded a fist on the table.

“So what are we waiting for? We need to get him out!”

“Easier said than done,” Hokuto said, raising an eyebrow. “The barrier's been placed into lock down...try to go through it like that, and you'll get more than just a nasty shock.”

“You'd have to disrupt the barrier pretty hugely to temporarily disable it,” Ruri said, tapping a finger to her lips. “And it would only be for a few minutes, at best. So somehow, we'd have to time it absolutely perfectly, and make sure there was nothing in between us and the exit.”

“That's a handful of factors right there,” Hokuto said, showing a finger for each point. “One: you have to get down into the basement without being seen. Two: you have to find a way to remove Yuya's bonds without setting off any alarms. Three: you have to get  _ back _ out of the basement with Yuya in tow. Four: you have to make sure that the way is clear to the barrier, and in this martial law shit, it's going to be heavily guarded. And five: you need a way to disrupt the barrier.”

Yuzu licked her lips. That was...that was all a very tall order. But think...there had to be a way. If there was a way to get Yuya out of here, release him, and get him to Sanctuary, where maybe he could be saved...it was better than banking on a hope of one of them getting their personality erased, replaced by a goddess that didn't want to fight, and then be forced to kill Yuya, only to start the cycle over again.

“Getting into the basement is pretty easy,” Selena said. “And you'd only have to send one or two people. The rest can keep the way clear.”

“Easy how?” Hokuto said. “They said it was guarded.”

Selena shrugged.

“Haven't had a problem going in through the back way,” she said. “Send me and Yuzu down there, and we'll get him out, no problem.”

“Why just you and Yuzu?” Rin said. “I know how to get there too!”

“We can decide who's going where once we have a plan of attack,” Reiji said.

“Send me,” Yuzu said. “I know the way there, but I also have my flowers. I...I can have them unlock the chains by growing their vines into the locks. I know how to do it.”

Yuzu's father's hands tightened on her shoulders, and Yuzu looked up at him. He was stony faced, looking her right in the eyes. Then he knelt down next to her so that he was at eye level, and for a moment, the entire room fell silent.

“So you want to do this, Yuzu?” he said quietly.

Yuzu felt her heart clench and her eyes water with sudden tears. Her father was looking at her so steadily...

She thought about all the times she had thought about running away with everyone, and leaving him behind. Her hands came up to grip his on her shoulders, and she blinked back tears.

“I want to help him,” she said. “I...I need to help him, dad. He's so scared and lonely...I want to do something...”

Her father watched her very carefully. Then he sighed, squeezing her shoulders before he stood up.

“When did you grow up so fast?” he murmured, brushing one of her pigtails off of her shoulders. She let a tear escape down her cheek. Then he looked back up at the group. “I have keys to this building.  I can find a time to leave the doors unlocked.”

Reiji inclined his head.

“We thank you,” he said.

Her father just pressed his lips together.

“Just take care of my daughter,” he said gruffly.

Yuzu grabbed her dad's hand and squeezed it.

“This will require perfect timing,” Reiji said. “So. Lay all our resources on the table, and all of the steps again.”

Yuzu dragged in a thick, steadying breath.

They were doing this.

They were going to rescue Yuya.

 


	39. THIRTY-NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [once we were](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlpAmqy4gtA)
> 
>  
> 
> [Click here for art of this chapter by dark-angel-of-muses :) ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/352548671121784832/352549407951945728/homura_story.jpg)

Yuzu woke up with a start as Masumi crashed onto her stomach.

“Yuzu, oh goddess, I don't—I don't know what to do, you have to come—”

Yuzu was barely conscious yet, but Masumi's voice spiked with actual fear, and Yuzu forced herself to scramble up. In the dark, she could see Masumi's wide, horrified eyes, and Yuzu snapped to alertness.

“Masumi, what's wrong?” she said, grabbing at Masumi's arms. “What happened?”

“You just need to come, please, quickly—”

Rin, somehow, didn't stir at the commotion, and when Yuzu tried to reach over to wake her up, Masumi simply grabbed Yuzu by the wrist and dragged her along.

“No time, please, you just have to come.”

There were no guards on the dorm doors, and Yuzu didn't see anyone on the green, either.

“Masumi, we're going to get in trouble, we're going to mess up the plan,” Yuzu said. “Masumi!”

“I don't know what to do to stop him,” Masumi said, breathing hard. “Please, maybe—I don't know, he knows you, right, maybe you can do something that I can't—”

It was almost pitch black out on the campus. The moon was full dark, with only the stars to light the earth below, and they were too distant to make much of a difference.

Yuzu started when she realized Masumi was dragging her towards the abbess's office.

“Where are we going?” she said.

“It's Yuya,” Masumi said, her voice trembling. “I asked Rin where the door was, I just—I wanted to see him, I wanted to see the person you keep talking about, but I couldn't find the back door so I snuck down through the abbess's office—”

Yuzu's blood ran cold. What—what had happened to Yuya?

She grabbed Masumi's arm.

“The back way is safer,” she said. “I'll show you where it is, come on!”

Masumi, for her part, let Yuzu drag her through the woods, practically flapping along at the end of Yuzu's grip. This was out of character for her, to be this frightened—what had happened?

Yuzu dragged them around the back of the shrine, pulling vines out of the way to reveal the door. Masumi's wrist slipped out of Yuzu's grip as Yuzu pulled the door open.

“Come on,” Yuzu said.

“Yuzu, this wasn't here when I was here,” Masumi said quietly, voice trembling. “I looked everywhere over here, this door wasn't here.”

“You probably just missed it in the dark, now if something is wrong with Yuya, we have to go!”

Yuzu swung her legs down into the dark and hopped down. After a beat, she heard Masumi drop down behind her. Yuzu didn't even bother to run back and close the door behind them, not even caring if they messed up their plan. Yuya was in trouble, and she had to do something.

Yuzu took them down the hall and through the door into the vial room. She stopped, though, and Masumi smacked into her, as her eyes took in the room.

One of the shelves was thrown over, the vials smashed on the floor, with their contents shattered and splattered across the floor and walls. Yuzu smelled the faint tang of blood, and her feet stuck a little to the floor even when she tried to skirt past the puddles.

Two more shelves had been tipped over, and a few more vials ripped from their places and flung about the room. Yuzu really, really hoped that all of the bloodstains on the walls came from just the vials, and not an actual person.

Heart hammering in her chest, Yuzu reached the end of the hall. The door was hanging open, actually ripped from its hinges—there were...there were claw marks on the other side when she passed through. Had—had some kind of _animal_ been let loose down here?

The desk was overturned, papers flung all across the room. A torch still burned in one bracket, and both doors on both sides were hanging open.

In the threshold of one door, the one that would have lead towards the hospital rooms, there was—there was a body.

Choking on a scream, Yuzu ran around the desk and skidded to a stop on her knees beside the body. She didn't recognize the nun, but—but she was dead. Oh goddess, she was dead. Her eyes shone glassy off to the side, stomach down on the floor, as though she had been...running away from something. Her robes were torn and bloody, her throat slit with what seemed to be giant claws. Yuzu pressed a hand to her mouth, but it was too late. She threw up on the floor beside the body, tears rolling out of her eyes. What had—what had done this...?

“Yuzu,” Masumi hissed, coming to her side.

Yuzu blinked through the tears enough to look down where Masumi was pointing with her foot. A syringe, barely gripped in the woman's hand, half filled with some kind of clear, viscous fluid. What was that for?

“W-where's Yuya?” Yuzu whispered, speaking around the taste and lingering bits of vomit in her mouth.

“He wasn't in his cell when I got here,” Masumi mumbled. “And then I heard the screams coming from down the hall on the other side of the facility.”

She gasped at the sound of scrabbling claws against stone, and whipped around, hand dropping down to her belt where there was a knife that Yuzu was positive she wasn't supposed to have.

The sound was coming from the stairs leading up to the abbess's office. Shakily, Yuzu got to her feet. She took a step forward, but Masumi grabbed her wrist, holding her in place.

A shadow moved on the stairs. Yuzu's heart caught in her throat as she realized she knew the shape there, if only vaguely.

Yuya peeled himself out of the shadows. He looked...he looked more animal than human. His eyes were a bright, glowing red, with slits for pupils. His skin had turned a cracked, scaley gray, with huge, thick scales running down his neck and chest, burning red sigils glowing in runes along his skin. Spikes jutted out of his shoulders, down his back, and from his wrists, his hands having grown long talons.  There were _wings_ sprouting out of his shoulder blades, thick black things that didn’t look like they’d be able to get him off the ground.

He was breathing hard, lips peeled back from his fanged teeth in a snarl—drool slathered from his teeth and dripped onto the floor, leaving shallow, sizzling marks. His spit was _acidic_.

Yuzu held out both of her hands, extricating herself from Masumi's grip.

“Yuya,” she breathed, tears bubbling in her eyes. “Yuya. Yuya, it's okay.”

Yuya hissed at her, and then a voice that wasn't his pulled out of his throat—a _wrong_ voice, almost the same as Mieru's, but deeper and fuller and far more resonating, making Yuzu's very bones shiver.

“ _I'll kill them all,”_ he hissed. _“Every last one of these miserable humans, I'll kill every single fucking one of them—”_

“Yuya,” Yuzu tried to soothe. More tears bubbled in her eyes as she realized it must have been Yuya who killed that woman, and if Masumi had said _screams_ plural, then maybe other nuns were dead, too. “Yuya...Yuya, please...don't do this...”

“ _Fucking humans, they're a stain—they're wrong, they weren't ever supposed to exist, this world doesn't need them, I'll rip them all to pieces—”_

Yuzu could barely breathe as Yuya advanced on them, slowly, hunched over almost on all fours like an animal, his eyes burning at them.

“Yuya,” she said again. “Yuya, it's me—it's Yuzu. It's—”

And then she saw where Yuya's eyes were fixed—not on her. They were on Masumi.

More particularly, on the knife that Masumi was holding.

Before Yuzu could think about it, she reached back, grabbed the knife and tossed it away behind them. Masumi swore, her eyes widening, but Yuzu quickly turned back to Yuya, dropping to her knees with her hands up.

“Yuya, I'm not going to hurt you,” she said. “Y-you're scared, right? I'm not going to hurt you. Neither of us are.”

Yuya was starting to hyperventilate. Fear sparkled suddenly in his eyes, and he shrank back. His hands trembled, flinching up over his head. He was starting to mumble, but Yuzu couldn't hear him now.

“They were trying to hurt you, right?” Yuzu said. “Y-you were scared. You didn't know what to do.”

Yuya trembled so badly that Yuzu thought he might fall apart. He was panting now, and all of the feral rage seemed to have flooded out of him.

“ _I-I don't...please...”_ he said in that wrong voice. _“Please...please d-don't hurt me...please...I'm sorry...”_

He moaned, putting his hands over his head. Yuzu didn't think. She started to shift forward on her knees, hands still up. Masumi hissed at her, sounding scared, but Yuzu didn't stop, not until she was right in front of him.

“It's okay,” she murmured. “It's okay. We're not going to hurt you. No one's going to hurt you.”

Yuya stared at her with teary eyes, mouth hanging open. Only, his eyes were another color now—they had turned into a soft shade of gold. Tears bubbled in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

“ _I'm sorry,”_ he said, the words dragging out of him. _“I'm sorry...”_

Yuzu cautiously put her arms around him, tugging him closer. His scales and rough skin felt so strange, but she held onto him anyway, pulling him into an embrace.

“It's going to be okay,” she soothed. “It's all right.”

“ _I-I took it too far, a-as soon as I realized I was wrong, it was too late, they would have kept coming for me, Ray, they would have kept coming. I had to...I just had to finish it...”_

Ray...?

Yuzu shook her head and didn't think about it. _This isn't Yuya._

_It's the demon...speaking through him...just like the goddess spoke through Rin in that experiment._

_So...so the demon doesn't want to fight, either...?_

Yuya melted into her arms with a soft moan.

And then Yuzu's bracelet began to glow softly.

Almost immediately, the strange, demonic transformation faded away, dragging spikes back beneath his skin, dissolving scales, making his fangs recede into straight teeth. He felt so weak and trembly in her arms, then. He tried to lift his head to look at her. His eyes were still that strange shade of gold, looking at her with disorientation. He fumbled one hand up to reach her face, cupping her cheek, and she felt electricity run gently down her spine.

“ _Where...am...I...?”_ he breathed.

Yuzu could barely breathe. She wasn't even sure who she was talking to—Yuya, or the demon himself? Was she really...was she really talking to the demon that had almost destroyed the world...?

Yuzu gripped his hand against her face, holding it gently.

“You're safe,” she said. “That's where you are.”

His eyes fluttered. He looked so exhausted.

And then screamed, his body heaving and Yuzu jolted with the sudden impact—blood splattered over her tunic as she saw the spear pierce right through his stomach, almost impaling her too. Yuya screamed again as from behind, someone yanked on the chain that attached to the short spear, dragging him off of her.

Yuzu screamed, reaching for him—immediately, Yuya's transformation returned, his skin bleaching out to gray and his eyes exploding into a glowing, shining red. He screamed and hissed and struggled, spikes jutting back out of his shoulders, and scrabbled at his captor, gasping through blood that streamed out of his lips.

“Yuya!” Yuzu screamed, reaching for him. “Yuya!”

Himika had appeared on the stairs with two more nuns, one of which was reeling Yuya back on the chain, and the other who threw a second loop of chain over Yuya's arms, cinching him tightly.

“Leave him alone!” Yuzu screamed. “Leave him alone!”

She tried to throw herself forward, but Masumi grabbed her around the chest, dragging her back as she reached uselessly towards Yuya. Himika's eyes snapped up to them, her hair mussed and ragged and her headdress crooked.

“You two stay exactly where you are!” she snapped. “Rinea, get them, get them out of here, take them and get their memories taken care of—”

Yuzu's heart plummeted—oh goddess, no, she was going to forget, she was going to forget everything—

Masumi grabbed Yuzu's wrist and bolted for the back door. Himika let out a screech behind them, and one of the nuns bolted for them, but Masumi slammed the door shut to give them extra seconds.

“We can't leave him!” Yuzu screamed.

“Y-you heard Reiji, he can't die,” Masumi said. “We can't help him if we're being put under and forgetting everything!!”

Yuzu tried to struggle against Masumi's hand, but Masumi was insistent, dragging her to the other end of the hall.

“T-the door,” she said. “Where's the door??”

Yuzu whipped around in spite of herself—what was Masumi talking about, the door was right there—

The door slammed open again, and Yuya's screams rang out through the room. For a half a second, Yuzu almost bolted right for him. But then she felt the pressure in the room increasing, and she knew that the nuns were more skilled and more powerful with their Blessings, and Masumi was right—they wouldn't be able to save Yuya if they were caught.

She grabbed for the door handle and flung it open, ignoring Masumi's surprised gasp, and dragging her inside. She slammed the door behind them and fled for the trap door.

It was still open, and they struggled up the stairs and slammed it shut. Yuzu encouraged the vines to grow over it again, cinching it tight so that no one could follow them through it from that direction. Then she grabbed Masumi's wrist again and they fled through the woods.

Yuzu didn't know where she was going. They couldn't leave—and they couldn't go back to the dorms, the nuns had seen them, they knew who had been down there, and they'd track them down. She had ruined _everything._

Finally, neither of them could run any longer, and when Masumi's hand slipped out of Yuzu's grasp, she, too, stumbled to a stop, landing her knees and gasping for breath.

They just sat there, leaning against the trees, trying to get their air back.

Yuzu coughed when she tried to speak.

“Why—why did you go down there?” Yuzu mumbled.

Masumi had to catch her breath too, and she took a long time to respond.

“I—I wanted to know,” she said, her voice strained. “Y-you talked about him all the time even before now, before you knew who he was—you trusted him, and you...I can see it, Yuzu, you care about him so much already. I just wanted...”

She fumbled for her words, her breaths echoing between them.

“I wanted to know what kind of person gave you those kind of feelings,” she said. “I...I just wanted to know, I wanted to meet him too. I'm sorry, Yuzu, I know I was stupid...”

Yuzu gasped for air. She couldn't stop the tremor of fear and anger in her chest. If Masumi hadn't gone down there...

But no, she chastised herself. She and the others had endangered the secret, too. It was a miracle they hadn't been caught before now.

 _His power comes on the new moon_ , she remembered Himika saying at the announcement. _Tonight...tonight is a new moon...I didn't know...that was what happened..._

She swallowed.

_That's why he wants to die. So he doesn't become that._

Masumi gasped for air.

“I just...I'm sorry,” she said. “I should have run as soon as I saw there were people down there, I shouldn't have brought you back with me, but I...”

She hesitated, and Yuzu looked back over her shoulder towards her. She couldn't even see her in the darkness of the woods, without a moon to light the night. She could only hear her, and see her silhouette moving faintly.

“I lied,” she whispered. “I didn't...I just hear the screams. When he wasn't in his cell, I went down the hall to see if he was in any of those hospital rooms you guys talked about. And I...”

She swallowed.

“They had him strapped to the bed, Yuzu,” she said, sounding horrified. “And they were—pumping things into him, and he wouldn't stop screaming, and crying, begging for them to stop. T-that was when he managed to break out of the straps, when the transformation hit, and...”

Her voice tightened.

“I don't pity them,” she said, voice harsh. “They were _torturing_ him. I-if they thought he wasn't going to defend himself...”

She shook her head, and Yuzu heard her hair swooshing softly.

“I ran, then, after he killed the first one,” she said, voice trembling. “But...but he sounded so scared, I don't know why I thought...maybe you could...do something...”

Yuzu was getting her air back, and she curled her fingers into the dirt. Her heart still thrummed hard in her chest.

She couldn't get that voice out of her head. The demon's voice, trembling with fear. _Please don't hurt me._

“ _I want to know what really happened between the goddess and the demon,”_ Reiji had said in his explanation of why he was traveling with Yuya.

Yuzu lifted up her wrist, and looked down at the bracelet there. She could just barely catch a glimmer of starlight in the dark gem, and she remembered how it had warmed, how it seemed to have chased the transformation away, and brought out the yellow-eyed, scared demon instead of the red-eyed, angry one.

“I'm glad you brought me,” she whispered. “No matter what happened...Masumi, I'm glad you brought me to see him...”

Her throat tightened.

“But...but...”

She pressed her hands to her mouth, feeling bile rise in her throat again. There was still blood stained into her tunic.

“What they did to him...oh goddess...Masumi...how could we leave him...?”

Masumi approached slowly, putting her hands on Yuzu's shoulders, and then awkwardly hugging her from behind.

“We'll...we'll still get him out,” she said awkwardly. “I mean...the plan can still work without us...there's plenty of people back there who want to help him, Yuzu...”

Yuzu swallowed through her tears, and nodded.

“Y-yeah,” she said, voice choked. “You're right...I just...I'm sorry, Masumi...”

She melted back into Masumi's hug, desperate for something to hold onto, and Masumi shifted so they could get a better grip on each other.

“Come on now,” she mumbled, sounding embarrassed. “I'm the one that needs to keep apologizing...”

Yuzu cried a little bit more.

“What do we do now?” she said. “They'll...they'll find us eventually.”

“No, they won't.”

Yuzu yelped, looked up quickly.

There were two shadows standing in the faint starlight, one tall, and one short. Yuzu recognized the frizz of hair that must be Mieru, but Mieru hadn't spoken. That voice was familiar...

“En?” she said.

She thought she might have seen En's lips quirk. Then the taller, cloaked woman looked down at Mieru, and Mieru looked back up at her. They seemed to share a moment. Mieru simply nodded, and turned towards Masumi and Yuzu—while En turned away, and vanished into the dark.

“W-wait!” Yuzu said, scrambling to her feet and reaching for her back. Mieru, however, grabbed her hand, and shook her head. She tugged on Yuzu's hand.

“ _Come on,”_ she whispered. _“Secret place. I'll...tell the others...what happened.”_

She tugged on Yuzu's hand, and then on Masumi's once she grabbed hold of it.

Yuzu was too tired to argue. What had En been doing here? Did Mieru know who she was?

She was too exhausted. She let Mieru lead her and Masumi through the dark woods, and she hoped to the goddess...that somehow all of this would work out.

 

  



	40. FORTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Copied City Battle Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbEd7ulIMdw)

Mieru took them to the shrine.  At the time, Yuzu had been too exhausted to question anything, including the fact that Mieru was easily able to open the always locked doors to the shrine, and usher them inside before closing the doors and leaving them there.

Yuzu fell asleep sometime in the night, with Masumi's head lolling on her shoulder, the two of them curled up against the far wall.  The space wasn't very big, but it was enough for them to squeeze together.

It wasn't until the light filtered through the grate, sending patterns of shadow vines across their faces, that Yuzu finally awoke, and finally realized where, exactly, they were.

She came awake almost immediately.  Inside the dusty shrine, light still streamed through, and she could hear the birds outside.  Oh goddess...she hadn't even thought about it.

_ We're inside the shrine, _ she thought, heart fluttering.   _ All those times meeting in front of it...the place where the sword sleeps until the champion awakes...we're inside. _

She swallowed.  She couldn't move a lot because Masumi was still asleep against her, but she could look around.

They were tucked into the back of the shrine—actually, now that she could see it, it was actually a little more roomy than she had first expected.  Everything was coated in a thin layer of dust, with particles swirling through the light that poured through from outside.  It smelled like old wood in here, and the walls were a little scratchy against her back.

Directly in front of them, there was a statue.  She was behind it, so she couldn't quite see it, but it looked like it was probably an image of the goddess.  The goddess wasn't depicted in anything, traditionally, so Yuzu found herself sparking with curiosity at what this artist's representation was.

She licked her dry lips, then edged forward.  She moved Masumi carefully to lean against the wall, making sure she wouldn't fall over, and then stood up, walking around the statue.

It looked...generic, she realized, with some disappointment.  Just a thin, pretty woman with an elegant face and expressionless, stone eyes, her hair curling from underneath a long veil that fell down around the long dress she was wearing.

Her hands rested lightly around the hilt of a blade, though, and Yuzu sucked in a breath.

This was it...this was the sword the goddess had forged thousands of years ago.

It was clearly not a part of the statue, metal instead of stone, and slotted neatly into the goddess's hands so that it stood point down into the ground between her feet.  The blade was unlike any that Yuzu had ever seen—it was almost white, the metal was so fine, and she could see her reflection in it.  The guard curled with a hand guard around both sides, elegant like vines, with carved gold wrapping around the hilt.

Oh...?  What was this?

She leaned forward to trace her fingers down the blade, in the four inches or so just above the hilt.  There were...little notches here.  Round grooves, like something was supposed to be set into it.  Like...gemstones, maybe?  Maybe it was just for its design...but for some reason, Yuzu's heart panged.  The spaces looked empty, like they were missing something.

She blinked as her fingers caught in the biggest notch, a round one closest to the point of the blade.

For only a breath, she wasn't in the shrine.

For only a breath, she was there again—that place in her dream, with the bleached gray earth, the bodies scattered everywhere, weapons shattered across the ground, earth spiking up in debris-strewn crevasses—

“Yuzu?”

Yuzu gasped, and blinked back to the shrine.  She was...it had been...a dream?

Masumi was standing beside her, hand hovering over her shoulder.  Yuzu realized her fingers were still on the blade, and she jolted back.

“Sorry,” she said.  “I know I shouldn't touch it.”

Masumi just tilted her head, frowning.

“It doesn’t really...look like much, does it?” she said, brow furrowing.  “Like...it just looks like an ordinary sword...just another hunk of metal.”

Yuzu started.  Hadn't...hadn't she heard that somewhere before...?”

_ “It's only a hunk of metal, really.  Not that special.” _

“En,” Yuzu said, the name coming to her again.  Masumi blinked, glancing at her.

“What?” she said.

“En,” Yuzu said again.  “That...that woman with Mieru last night, the one who found us.  Her name was En...she was a—she was a pilgrim, and she said something almost the same—”

She stopped when she realized that Masumi was staring at her.

“What woman with Mieru?” she said.

Yuzu's heart briefly stopped.

“You...you didn't see her...?”

“I mean...it was dark,” Masumi said, frowning.  “But I don't remember seeing anyone except Mieru.”

Yuzu remembered with a start how Masumi seemed somehow unable to see the door when they were escaping.  Her surprised face when Yuzu had uncovered the trap door, and she had insisted that it hadn't been there before.

Was...was Yuzu the one seeing things, or was something very, very wrong here?

A soft tap came at the door, and both of them briefly froze.  Masumi's hand went to her belt, but her knife was gone—Yuzu winced when she remembered tossing it away.  There hadn't been time to get it back when they had fled.

But no one opened the door—instead, a tiny slip poked underneath it, and after a few beats, Yuzu heard footsteps hopping down the stairs, and then it was quiet again save for the birds.

Yuzu went for it first, walking to the door and picking it up.  It was an envelope, she realized, and she unfolded it to pull out a letter.  Masumi leaned in over her shoulder to read the careful, elegant handwriting that must belong to Reiji.

_ Mieru told us what happened.  The plan has been altered, and moved up, so as to strike while they are not expecting it.  You two must take the job of pulling Yuya out of the tunnels, and we will meet you at our previously discussed meeting point.  When you hear the horn blow twice, that's when you need to get down into the facility.  You'll have exactly fifteen minutes. _

Yuzu looked up at Masumi.  Her heart trembled, but Masumi's lips tightened.  She lifted her eyes to meet Yuzu's.

“We're doing this,” she said.

“We are,” Yuzu mumbled.

Masumi reached for Yuzu's hand, and grabbed hold of it, squeezing it tightly.

“We'll get him out,” she said.  “No matter what happens.  I promise.”

She said it with such fervor that Yuzu realized...Masumi was blaming herself for last night.  She was trying to comfort Yuzu.  Yuzu had to smile back, blinking back tears.  She squeezed Masumi's hand back.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

* *    *

It was nearly sunset when a distant horn echoed over the forest.  Masumi tensed first, almost jumping to the door right away.  Yuzu couldn’t help but grip the hem of her tunic tightly, heart jumping into her throat.  The sound made her shiver.  It reminded her too much of drills they had been put through as children—that horn sound meant something was terribly wrong.  Yuzu wondered what the girls and the others had done to trigger someone to blow the horn.

They waited, tense and silent, for a second horn.  The seconds dragged on and on until Yuzu felt like she was going to snap.

The second horn blew, and Masumi ripped the shrine door open.  Yuzu hurried after her, neither of them even stopping to close it behind them.

_ I’m leaving Rayglen, _ she thought, heart beating in her throat.   _ We’re getting Yuya and we’re leaving Rayglen. _

She stopped only long enough to yank a few flowers from their stalks, thick with seeds in the middle, and dump the seeds into her hand.  She didn’t have her usual pouch of seeds, and she needed them to pick the locks on Yuya’s chains.

Masumi waited for Yuzu to encourage the vines to shrink back from the trap door, yanking it open and letting Masumi down first.  They hit the dirt and moved quickly down the tunnel and through the door.

Yuzu peeked through cautiously.  The room was still a mess, but the blood had dried.  She shivered at the glass and blood—it looked like someone had died in here, instead of just shattering a few vials of blood samples.  There was no one there, though, so she and Masumi darted through to the other door.

Masumi flicked a small white diamond into her palm, and made it hover over her hand.  Yuzu knew that pose—if anyone was on the other side of the door, Masumi could shoot the diamond right at them.  Yuzu shivered.  They were really doing this—they were fighting against their own order.

Masumi pushed the door open with one hand, leaning cautiously in with her back to the door.

“Clear,” she whispered.

She slipped through, Yuzu right behind her with her handful of seeds.  The room was empty, but it hadn’t been cleaned up from last night, either.  The desk was still overturned, and there was still blood everywhere.  The body in the door had been removed, though.

“He’ll be in his cell, they won’t risk him escaping again,” Yuzu said.

“Right.”

Masumi lead the way down the hallway.  It was dark as ever, but Yuzu felt like she had traveled this way so many times now that she had memorized it.  Masumi whispered into her diamond to set it briefly alight once they reached the end of the hall, illuminating Yuya’s shape.

He was back in all his chains again, and he blinked with surprise at the sudden light, squinting.  He looked exhausted—there were huge, dark circles under his eyes, and he looked pale and sallow—there was still some blood stained to his face and his ripped up shirt was left in tatters around his waist.  Yuzu pressed a hand to her mouth in horror at the metal contraption that had been strapped over his mouth to muzzle him.

“Oh goddess,” she mumbled.  “Yuya, it’s okay, we’re here, we’re going to get you out.”

Yuya blinked groggily at them, squinting harder, like he wasn’t exactly sure who they were.

Masumi bent her gemstone into the shape of a thin, incredibly sharp knife, and dragged it in between the lock and bars to slice the door open.  Yuzu rushed in and dropped to her knees in front of him.  She briefly cupped his face, scared at how much effort it seemed to be taking him to keep his head up.

“It’s okay, Yuya, we’re here now,” she said.  “You’re going to be okay.”

Yuya just looked at her like he wasn’t entirely sure what was happening.  They didn’t have much time.  Yuzu dropped her seeds in a pile on the floor, and then felt along in the half dark to find where the chains were locked.  She picked up one seed and pushed it against the keyhole, and then encouraged the flower to grow.  The roots slid lazily into the keyhole, finding where the key was supposed to fit in and taking up the space.  She repeated the process with the rest of the locks, including the one for Yuya’s muzzle.  One by one, the roots grew so that they twisted just so, and the locks came undone.

The falling chains made a loud jangling and crash against the floor, and Yuya slumped forward into Yuzu’s arms the minute he was loose.

“Yuzu?” he mumbled, his voice sounding thick and dry.  “What’re…what’re you doing…?”

“Getting you out of here,” Yuzu said.

Yuya stiffened.

“I—no,” he said.

Yuzu’s heart leapt.

“What do you mean, no?” she said.

Yuya tried to weakly struggle out of Yuzu’s arms, but Yuzu held on tight to him—she wasn’t ready to let go.

“I…I have to stay here until they can kill me,” Yuya said.  “I have to stay here—I have to die, Yuzu, so that I don’t kill anyone like I did last night anymore—”

“You were protecting yourself,” Masumi snapped.  “There’s no crime in defending yourself from people who hurt you.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Yuya said, and he tried to pull out of Yuzu’s arms, getting away enough that Yuzu could see his eyes filled with tears.  “I’ll kill anyone, even people I care about, when I’m in that state—I’ll turn into that for good one day and then—”

“You didn’t kill me,” Yuzu said.

Yuya stopped midsentence, hesitating.

“What…what are you talking about?”

“You didn’t kill me,” Yuzu said.  “I was there, Yuya.  I…I saw you.  I saw the demon in you, and…and it was scared.  The demon was scared.”

Yuya’s eyes widened.  Yuzu cupped his face with one hand.

“As soon as I showed you that I wasn’t going to hurt you, you calmed down,” she said.  “You weren’t trying to hurt me at all.”

“…really…?” Yuya said, looking scared.

“Yuzu, we’re running out of our fifteen minutes,” Masumi said.

“We can explain more later,” Yuzu said, grabbing his hands.  “For now, please—please let me take you out of this horrible place.  Please trust me.”

For just the barest breath, Yuya just stared at her. 

Then he swallowed, and nodded.  He struggled to stand, his legs weak and shaking, and Yuzu hurried to her own feet to support him.  She dragged one of his arms over her shoulders, and Masumi jumped forward to grab him under the other arm.

“Let’s go, we have to get to the rendezvous point,” Masumi said.

“Perhaps you would be amenable to telling me where that rendezvous point is,” came the cold, angry voice.

Yuya tensed against Yuzu’s arms, and she could feel a tremble running through him.  She felt her own heart slide into her throat as she looked up, and found their way blocked by the silhouette of Mother Himika.

In the light of the torch she carried, she looked like a demon herself, eyes flashing and lips turned down.

“I thought I was going to have to deal with a breakout, but until last night I never thought it would come from my own students,” she said.  “What poisonous lies have the demon and his minions been feeding you?”

“You’re the one that’s been feeding us lies,” Masumi snapped, her voice vibrating with anger.

Yuya was trembling so badly—he looked pale and frightened, and Yuzu suddenly realized that he must be terrified of Himika because…because she had been the one overseeing his torture.

“Can you really fault me for hiding the truth?” Himika said.  “It would have frightened you.”

“You knew it would have made us not trust you anymore, is what you mean,” Masumi said.  “Do you get off on tormenting kids or something?”

“I am trying to do my part for the safety of our world,” Himika said.  “Hasn’t the demon himself told you that he desires to die?  Are you ignoring his wishes, as well?”

Yuzu felt something stir in her chest.  For a moment, she wasn’t sure what it was—and then, as it began to boil over, she knew.  It was anger.

“Get out of the way,” she said.

Himika and Masumi both started slightly, looking across at Yuzu.  Yuzu could not remember the last time she had felt so angry, her very skin seemed to buzz with it.  She couldn’t see, could barely hear, all she knew was that Yuya was scared and this woman wanted to murder him.

“Apprentice Hiragi,” Himika said, shaking her head slightly.  “You are the most unfortunate loss.  I thought I would see great things from you.”

“Get out of the way,” Yuzu said again, her voice a low hiss even to herself.

“Yuzu, please,” Yuya mumbled.  “It…it’s okay.  Please…don’t get in trouble for me…”

“No,” Yuzu said, her voice rising.  “No, I won’t.  I won’t let him go.  I won’t stand here and listen to all of you make him think that he has to die!”

Her head was spinning now, and she felt like the world might be getting brighter?  She heard Himika suck in a breath, and Masumi swore.

“Yuya doesn’t have to die!  He’s not a monster!  He just believes he is because of people like you, people like you who use him and hurt him and pin all of your hatred on him!”

“Oh goddess,” Himika swore, and that was when Yuzu realized that it wasn’t the world that was getting brighter—it was her.  She was…was she glowing??

As soon as she realized it was happening, the glow faded from beneath her skin, and she gasped.  All at once, it was hard to keep her feet.  She felt dizzy and her throat was dry.  What…what had just happened?  She felt empty all of a sudden, a gnawing ache just under her heart that wasn’t hunger, but it wasn’t quite anything else.

Masumi took advantage of the brief, stunned silence.  Himika shrieked as Masumi shot an entire handful of gems into her face, causing her to drop the torch.

“Go!” Masumi said, releasing Yuya and calling her gems back to her in a floating spiral around her.  “Go, quickly, meet up with everyone!”

“Not without you!” Yuzu said.

Himika recovered all too quickly.  Her face contorted in an angry snarl, and all at once, Yuzu felt lightheaded.  Yuya let out a thin moan, and Masumi faltered.  Yuzu had almost forgotten, but she had heard exactly once what Himika’s Blessing was—the rumor was, she could control pressure.  Oh goddess—she was going to kill them by squeezing them into nothing.

But Masumi didn’t release her own Blessing.  She let out a warrior’s shriek, and her gems shifted into thin knives.  They flew at Himika and although Himika clearly attempted to turn her pressure on the gems, shattering some of them, the others were too dense for her power to affect them quickly enough.  The woman shrieked as some of them found their mark in her flesh.

Yuzu reached out with her own handful of seeds, holding Yuya up with the other arm.  She could fight too!

And then Masumi appeared in a whirlwind before her.  For just a moment, Yuzu caught a glimpse of her eyes, felt her grip her arm tightly and pull her towards her, and felt—felt Masumi’s lips briefly brushing her cheek.  Then Masumi was shoving her and Yuya forward.

“Go!  I’ll cover you!  Go!”

“Masumi!” Yuzu screamed.

“Don’t let her come back, Yuya!” Masumi shouted at him.  “Don’t you dare let her come back!”

Yuzu briefly tried to turn around, but Yuya tightened his weak grip on her, and Yuzu almost choked.  She—she had to leave.  They had to get out and meet with the others.

They had to get out of here.

Biting back tears, Yuzu got a better support under Yuya’s arms, and helped him limp down the hallway.  They made it through the carnage of the vial room, and then out through the door.  Yuzu briefly remembered that Masumi hadn’t been able to see the back door.  She left it open, hoping against hope that was enough for Masumi to find her way.

She helped Yuya climb the ladder, but he seemed to be getting his strength back now, and was able to get up to the top, turning around to reach a hand to Yuzu to help her up the last rungs.

Yuzu left the door open.  Maybe, just maybe, Masumi could get out that way.  And there was no point in hiding it anymore.

“This way,” Yuzu said, tugging on Yuya’s hand.  “We’re going to meet this way—”

“Good goddess, you’re late!”

Hokuto barreled out of the trees, Yaiba on his heels.  He skidded to a stop and grabbed onto Yuzu’s shoulders for balance, almost taking them both down.

“The hell took you so long?” he said, shaking her slightly.  “Everyone’s waiting, and the order is fighting with everyone else!”

“Oh goddess,” Yuzu said, heart fluttering.

“Where’s Masumi?” Yaiba said.

“S-she forced us to go without her,” Yuzu said, feeling dizzy.  “Himika found us.”

Hokuto swore.

“That bitch!  She’s going to get herself killed!”

He grabbed Yuzu’s shoulders one more time, shaking her slightly.

“I’m telling you,” he said.  “This whole clusterfuck had better end up being worth it.”

Then he released Yuzu and went towards the open trapdoor.

“Where are you going?” Yuzu said.

“To help our crazy friend,” he said.  “Don’t wait up for me—I’ll see you guys someday, probably.  If Masumi doesn’t get me fucking killed.  Nice to meet you in passing, by the way, Demon kid.”

“You—oh goddess,” Yaiba swore.  “I’m following him—you guys get moving!  Careful in the woods, the order’s everywhere!”

Yuzu’s heart jumped.

“We can’t leave you!”

It was too late; Hokuto had already jumped down into the tunnel, and Yaiba after him.

For a half second, she and Yuya just stood there, trembling.

“I’m sorry,” Yuya mumbled.  “This is my fault…”

“Hush,” Yuzu said.  She swallowed.  “We have to go.”

She squeezed Yuya’s hand, and then dragged him into the woods.

They hadn’t been running for long before she heard the sound of clanging metal and a faint  _ crack-crack-crack _ sound that hurt her ears, something she had never heard before.  She heard shouts and cries, and then the bushes exploded in front of them and Yuzu screamed—

“Sh, it’s me!  It’s me!”

“Crow!”

Yuya’s voice broke with relief, and he released Yuzu’s hand to briefly hug him.  Crow held him for just a second.

“Goddess, you look awful,” he said, brow furrowing.  “Come on!”

As they broke through the trees, Yuzu was hit with a huge gust of wind right in the face, almost knocking her over.  She saw a group of nuns tumbling back against the wind, and then she saw Rin, spinning in place and blocking off strikes from others with each gust of her wind.

Crow grabbed Yuya under one arm and Yuzu under the other, hurrying them across the clearing and past Rin.  Behind Rin, Gongenzaka was fighting off three nuns with a sword that was almost as tall as Yuzu was, and as thick as her head.  At his back, Reiji had dropped briefly to one knee, flipping out the inside of the small contraption he held, feeding small balls inside it, and then flipping it back, standing up and aiming with both hands to pull the trigger.  Was that a Meiying pistol?  Where had he gotten one of those?

“Got them!” Crow shouted, and Reiji caught his eye.  He nodded, and then grabbed at his belt for a long, thin stick, which he used the side of his pistol to light.  He tossed it high over his head, and it exploded, sending up a single line of light.

Rin fell back.

“Where’s Masumi, Hokuto, and Yaiba?”

“C-Covering our tracks,” Yuzu said, throat still tight.  Rin paled, but then her face hardened, and she blinked back tears.

“Can’t wait for them,” she mumbled.  “Yug—Yuya, are you all okay?”

“I—I’m all right,” he said, but he looked disoriented.

“How are we getting through the barrier?” Yuzu said.

“In a second—” Crow started.

And then, as the light and crack of the flare faded, Yuzu heard the very forest itself moan.  The trees heaved slightly, and she heard a rustling wind like a hurricane about to start, but Rin made no motion towards using her Blessing.

Yuzu saw what the sound was when the canopy burst, and the sky went black with birds.  The gust of wind they made from the sheer amount of birds almost took the breath out of Yuzu’s lungs.  They surged back and forth in a sun-blotting wave against the sunset, and she could see the barrier rippling as they passed in and out. It was made to let animals through with little problem, but there were so many of them that she could actually see the invisible barrier beginning to tear slightly.

And then, the forest heaved once more, and the roc appeared.

Ruri’s stories of rocs had nothing on the actual beast.  It wasn’t just as big as a horse.  It was as big as the entirety of the university building; its wingspan had to be at least thirty feet long.  The massive creature sent whirlwinds down among them with each beat of its wings, and the birds that swirled and surged around it grew faster and more agitated.

From atop the bird itself, Yuzu caught a glimpse of Ruri’s hair flying back on the wind, and a few others clinging to its back.  The bird tipped its wing down towards them.

“Go!” Crow shouted, and then he practically flung Yuzu through the air.  She squealed when she landed on its wing, but recovered, and quickly scrambled up to the back, where Tsukikage grabbed her arm on one side and Shun on the other, heaving her up behind Sawatari.  Yuya followed, and Selena appeared to grab his shoulders and help him keep his balance.

The wind was almost too much, and she was already dizzy.  She let her head fall against the bird’s feathers, and closed her eyes.

She did not watch Rayglen fade into the distance.

She tried not to think of Masumi.

 


	41. FORTY-ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [City Ruins - Shade](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JXNvu4L-eQ)

Yuya felt like he slept for years. His dreams were twisting, foggy, uncertain things, full of faces and voices calling out to him. He wasn’t sure how much of his dreams were his own, and how much of them were from the other three. He dreamed of burning chains holding him fast, of people holding him down and forcing liquid fire into his veins, of a knife brandished in torchlight and pressed down into his skin to leave scars.

He dreamed of an open sky, full of stars, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life, and of trees, silent and still and full of so much  _ life _ that it seemed to buzz through him. He dreamed of endless horizons and a sea of grass that rustled in the wind, the breeze caressing and calming him.

And a woman walked through each of his dreams, whispering to him, calling to him, but the name that she shouted wasn’t his. It still made his heart clench and his chest ache with longing.  _ Come back _ , he wanted to call out, but he had no voice.  _ Please…come back. _

He woke slowly, to the sight of the blue sky overhead, framed by leaves, and the soft murmur of voices. He laid still for a while, just enjoying the soft way that the moss and leaves beneath his body seemed to cup him just right. He could actually hear birds, chirping and rustling not far away. Were they not afraid of him today?

He turned his head and blinked to realize that he wasn’t sleeping by himself. Inches from him, he saw Yuzu, curled up on her side with her hands under her face. She was still fast asleep, her breath rustling the clover in front of her mouth. Her hair looked like flowers against the green.

“ _ Isn’t that cute,” _ Yuuri said dryly, and Yuya wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic or not.

Yuya sat up very slowly, hoping he wouldn’t rouse Yuzu before she was ready to wake up. Rin was flopped down on the other side of him, sprawled out almost spread eagled with her mouth hanging open. Ruri seemed to have fallen asleep leaning against a stump, with her head resting on her arms that laid across the top, hair falling in waves around her back.

Yuya turned his head towards the voices. A bit away from their patch of clover, he saw the others, gathered in a bit of a clump. Some of them were still asleep too, it seemed, Sawatari sprawled out with his lute on his stomach, Shun sleeping with his back against a tree, and Crow lolled against a different tree. Reiji, Tsukikage, Gongenzaka, and Selena appeared to be awake; they were the ones talking.

For just a few moments, Yuya sat very still. He felt the breeze rustling through his hair, felt it brushing his cheeks as the sound of the forest surrounded him.

How many days had he been imprisoned? He didn’t even know how to count them, there had been no windows or ways to the outside world besides the girls coming to visit him, and they were too irregular to count time with. Even when he had been the Emperor, he could not remember feeling so alone and trapped.

“ _ It’s beautiful outside,” _ he whispered.

“ _ It’s so nice out,” _ Yugo agreed.

Yuya licked his dry lips. Through the haze of dreams that still hazed over his brain, he remembered Yuzu.  _ “He doesn’t have to die—people like you just make him think he has to!” _

His heart trembled. He…he shouldn’t be here. His goal was to get to Rayglen so that the champion could execute him, right? Had he…really been so weak as to abandon that mission…?

But he couldn’t help himself. The forest was so beautiful, and the sight of the sky was enough to bring him to tears. He didn’t want to go back. He never wanted to go into a box again—he never wanted to be enclosed, away from all of this, ever again. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes to try and push the tears back.

“ _ I’m so weak.” _

For a beat, none of them spoke back.

“ _ You’re not the only one who is,” _ Yuuri murmured softly.

When he let his hands fall away from his eyes, he saw Yuzu looking up at him, groggy and disoriented. She swallowed, and sat up, rubbing at her eyes.

“Are you...okay?” she mumbled, one hand still over one eye.

He wanted to cry again. He felt a tremble coming on thinking about how she had come to see him, multiple times. How she had come to his rescue despite the danger—how she had had to leave her friend, behind for his sake. He remembered how her voice had cracked when she stood up for him...said that he didn't  _ have _ to die...the way she had just started to glow as though she were on fire with her own words...

“I'm fine,” he said. A lie, and one that Yuuri grumbled at, but he kept the truth hidden at the back of his throat. “Did you...sleep okay?”

She nodded, but she didn't have a chance to say much else before they both heard a soft foot in the grass, and looked up to see Selena standing there.

“You guys are up,” she said. “You sleep okay?”

Yuya nodded silently.

“Where are we?” Yuzu asked.

“We're in the Slip,” Selena said.

Yuzu's eyes widened, but that didn't mean anything to Yuya.

“What's the Slip?” Yuya said.

Selena shrugged.

“It's a slang name for the strip of forest in between the oldwoods and the deepwoods,” she said. “The part really close to the Northern Mountains.  It’s means we’ve come a long way.”

Yuya's lips parted slightly as he tried to remember the map he had seen only a few times. They were...they were incredibly far away from Eclipsine now. He couldn't even imagine how far...

“Where are we planning on going?” Yuzu said.

Selena nodded towards the group.

“That's what we're talking about,” she said. “Maybe you guys should join us, if you're awake.”

Yuzu glanced quickly at Yuya, and Yuya wasn't sure what she was trying to confirm. He nodded, though, and slowly got to his feet, wincing at the tingle in his legs. Yuzu followed after him, and they joined the group huddled just a bit off. Reiji smiled faintly at them as they quietly sat down in the circle, Gongenzaka shifting over to make room.

“How are you feeling?” Reiji asked.

“Um...okay,” Yuya said. It wasn't really true—he still felt sick from those chains that had been made specifically to keep him contained, and he was starving. He hadn't eaten much in days, save for a few scraps that Rin was able to sneak to him, passing to him through the bars on a small twist of wind.

“ _ Would you stop lying?” _ Yuuri said, sighing deeply.

He didn't have to do anything, though, because Gongenzaka wordlessly passed him a thinly wrapped square of bread in cloth. Yuya smiled gratefully, and then Gongenzaka passed another one to Yuzu. Yuya nibbled on it briefly, looking up at the others.

“So what's going to happen now?” he asked tentatively, letting the bread fall into his lap. “I mean...we went all the way here for Rayglen, but...”

_ I should have stayed _ , he thought again.  _ I should have stayed and faced my death, like...like I planned... _

Reiji shook his head.

“We were never going to find what you needed there,” he said. “And I am sorry, Yuya, that I allowed you to go through as much as you did there.”

Yuya flushed and looked down.

“I...you shouldn't have to apologize,” he said. “It was my fault...I ran off on my own. And besides...not like it could kill me, right?”

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but all he succeeded in doing was make Gongenzaka look briefly angry, and put his arm around Yuya to squish him against him for a moment.

For a moment, they all sat in a brief, uncertain silence.

“Really, though,” Yuzu said then, quietly. “What are we planning to do now...?

Reiji looked at her briefly, and then his eyes slid back to Yuya.

“That will depend on what Yuya wants,” he said.

Yuya started to open his mouth, but then he wasn't sure what to say. What  _ did _ he want?

“I was...supposed to go to Rayglen to die,” he said. “But...but I ran from it...”

Yuzu's hand jumped to his lap, squeezing his knee.

“You didn't run from anything!” she said. “You don't have to die, Yuya!”

“But...I'm going to become a demon...” Yuya said.

“Didn't I tell you?” Yuzu said, leaning down to make sure that he had to look into her eyes. “When you went into that state, you only attacked the people that were hurting you. You didn't hurt me—you calmed down when you saw I wasn't going to hurt you. I don't think you're as dangerous as you think you are.”

Yuya's breath caught, just as surely as it had the first time Yuzu had said that to him. Was it...true? Yuzu had really been in front of him, and he hadn't hurt her...? He couldn't remember. He could never remember anything from when he went under into those episodes. The other three couldn't remember either. But they always woke up with blood on their hands and lips and a body underneath them—they had even tried to kill each  _ other _ , and they hadn't been trying to hurt each other...they had been friends down there in that cell...but they had still snapped and tried to murder each other...

“I don't know what happened with you down there...but it must have been a fluke,” Yuya said, his voice thin and weak. “I...I can't be trusted. Once I turn into a full demon, who knows what will happen.”

But Reiji looked suddenly intrigued, his eyes narrowing.

“You met him in his demon form?” he said, leaning forward. “And he didn't attack you?”

Yuzu shook her head.

“He was scared,” Yuzu said, stubbornness coloring her tone. “But once I had Masumi throw her dagger away, he calmed down. Once he saw we weren't a threat, he relaxed.”

Yuya's heart thumped in his chest. How could that have happened? And why couldn't he remember it, at all? He had heard the demon in his head, overtaking him, and all it wanted was to destroy, to kill, to ruin the entire world. Why would it be...scared...?

Reiji hummed slightly.

“Yuya, when you went into your demon states before, in the temple...if it distresses you to talk about, please, do not answer. But what did your priests do before and after an episode?”

Yuya hesitated. It made his stomach twist to think about, but he did.

“They...well, just before a new moon, they'd take me to a special cell,” he said. “And they'd chain me up...after that, I don't remember much at all...I'd wake up unchained and—and there'd usually be a body or two in the cell with me, and the blood on my hands...”

He shivered, gripping the bread in his lap so tightly he almost crumbled it.

Reiji hummed again, looking distant.

“I have a theory,” he said. “A theory that I have begun to refine from what I read in the Rayglen archives...and from what I've heard of what you found in the records of the experimentation.”

He nodded at Yuzu for that, and Yuzu hesitantly nodded back.

“It seems odd to me that the goddess, who was said to be the demon's eternal enemy, was so reluctant to return and fight,” Reiji said. “And combined that with your account of the demon being frightened and defensive...”

He hesitated, and his hand twitched up to the pendulum that hung around his neck, just below the edge of his scarf. Yuya almost hadn't noticed that it was hanging in plain view, and his heart panged suddenly. He thought he heard Yuzu suck in a breath almost at the same time.

“I think the goddess and the demon were friends, at the very least,” Reiji said. “I think something happened between them—something horrible. Something neither of them want to relive.”

His eyes found Yuya's.

“Yuzu says the demon is scared, and defending himself,” he said. “I believe the priests may have been prodding you in your states to attack whomever they sent into your cell with you, made you think that you were in enough danger that you needed to defend yourself.”

Yuya's heart leaped. Could...could that be true? Could it be that...the priests had just been using him like that, that far...?

“The goddess doesn't want to fight, and the demon is frightened,” Reiji said. “I'm more convinced than ever that we must get to Sanctuary. I believe the final answers to the history of this entire mess are there—and perhaps, a way to free you from your inevitable fate.”

For just a brief second, the entire world seemed to stop for Yuya. For a moment, he was stuck in a single moment, head buzzing, throat dry, the world spinning.

_ Free you from your fate. _

“ _ Yuya doesn't have to die!” _

Yuya felt like he was choking, and for a moment, he had to press a hand to his mouth. Yuzu's hand leaped to one shoulder, and Gongenzaka's hand pressed against his back reassuringly. Yuya curled up down over his crossed legs, trying to hold back the sudden rush of tears.

“ _ C-could he be telling the truth?”  _ Yugo said, hesitantly.

“ _ I don't know,”  _ Yuto said, sounding uncertain, but...hopeful. Oh demons. This was what  _ hope _ felt like.

“But it comes down to you, Yuya,” Reiji said softly. “Do you want to go to Sanctuary? The journey will probably be long, and we may not even find it before the eclipse. Are you willing to undertake that journey?”

Yuya felt like he was going to tremble to pieces. He could barely think, let alone breathe.

_ I could be free. _

_ I could be FREE. _

He thought again of the open meadows that had spread out before him outside of Eclipsine's walls. Of the endless blue sky and horizon, the sea of grass. The tall trees that Yuto called home, even the dark, frightening deepwoods. The endless starry sky, ablaze with burning constellations. He thought of all the places that he had heard of but not seen—the ocean, with its endless water fading into the horizon, the spiraling, shiny cities of Meiying that Yugo dreamed of, the sparkling temple city of Shizenrei.

“What do you want, Yuya?” Reiji said softly.

“And not what you think you want, just because you think you have to do it,” Yuzu said suddenly. “What do  _ you _ really want, Yuya?”

Yuya was trembling so badly he could hardly breathe. He mumbled out his answer, but not even he could hear it.

“What was that?” Selena said, blinking.

Yuya bit hard down on his bottom lip. The images of the world, the beautiful, endless, open world, a world he had never seen and a world he desperately wanted to. The faces of the people around him, the sounds of his friends who were asleep, sleeping soundly and peacefully. The feeling of being surrounded by them while he fell asleep—no longer truly alone.

He swallowed, and looked up, blinking back the tears as he looked at all the waiting faces, listening for his answer.

“I want to live,” he mumbled, throat choked.

It was only then, now that he had spoken it out loud, that he realized how much he had wanted it—for as long as he could remember. He didn't really want to die. He didn't want to sacrifice himself. He wanted—he wanted—

Tears rolled down his cheeks, one after the other, and he squeezed his arms around himself. It was the truest thing that he had ever said, and that he ever would say ever again, he felt. It had been true for as long as he could remember, but he had never, ever let himself think it, let alone say it out loud.

“I want to  _ live _ .”

 


	42. FORTY-TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Alien Manifestation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntHbvoYr1Lk)

“Travel is going to be slow,” Shun said. “There's a lot of us, and only one horse.”

“Armageddon doesn't like to be ridden, either,” said Reiji.

“You sure you can't get that roc to come and fly us any farther?” Rin said.

“I already imposed enough, asking her to take us this far while she's nesting,” Ruri said, looking offended. “Her eggs and her mate need her attention!”

Yuya found himself smiling—it certainly was lively with this many people around.

“It's fine,” he said. “I don't mind walking—and we've still got a while before the eclipse.”

“We can't get that far in five months,” Shun grumbled, but Gongenzaka slammed him hard on the back and bellowed something about how a real man wouldn't shy away from such a task, which Rin had to pipe in and say a real woman wouldn't either.

They took just long enough to gather themselves and get some food in their bellies, and for Reiji and Crow to pore over a map for a bit.

“Are you sure you shouldn't be going back to the rebellion?” Reiji asked him.

“I'm not sure at all,” Crow said, looking pained. “I...I really hope Shinji and the kids are all right, but...I can't just leave now. And traveling alone from this far away would be hard anyway...”

He shook his head, and went back to looking at the map, plotting the fastest course to the western mountains, where Reiji's research had suggested Sanctuary might be.

The walk wasn't bad at all, Yuya was finding. He was getting better at this walking long distances thing, even if he had spent a few days in imprisonment. Even if his legs ached from the walk, it was better than being in a cage. In fact... _ everything _ felt lighter. He actually felt like humming, or maybe skipping. He couldn't remember feeling this light in...ever. Not even escaping Zarkania had made him this overwhelmingly happy.

_ I want to live _ , he whispered to himself, over and over again.  _ I want to live _ .

Accepting that desire had been life changing. He couldn't believe how light and free he felt—he felt like he could fly off into the sky right now.

Ruri fell into step alongside him as they walked, looking up towards the trees and smiling

“It's beautiful here, isn't it?” she said.

“It really is,” he said. “You're from Corkoro, like Yuto, right?”

Ruri nodded with a smile.

“Yuto and I were best friends,” she said, sounding wistful. “Well—are still best friends, I hope.”

She looked anxiously at Yuya, as Yuto assured Yuya over and over that of COURSE she was still his best friend!

“Of course you are,” Yuya said with a laugh. “Yuto really missed you and Shun. I'm glad that he got to see you again...I'm...sorry that it's hard for you to see him.”

Ruri just smiled and shook her head.

“We'll see him again,” she said, with that same overwhelming confidence like she had had that night that Yuya had met her for the first time. Back then, it had surprised and almost intimidated him. But now, in his state of joy, he found it even more heartening.

“Do you really think so?” he said.

“I'm positive,” she said. “Even if not in this life...then in another. We won't be separated. Not forever.”

She smiled, and raised up one arm towards the trees briefly. Birds twittered and chirped at her passing, and she smiled at them.

“I've never seen so many birds,” Yuya said.

“I'm afraid they tend to follow me around,” she said, covering her mouth with one hand. “We won't be particularly stealthy with me around.”

“It's okay,” Yuya said. “I—I'm really glad to see them. Animals are usually scared of me.”

Yuzu fell back a bit, until she was walking on the other side of Yuya.

“Are you holding up all right?” she asked.

Yuya almost laughed; Yuzu seemed really nervous about making sure he was all right.

“I'm doing great,” he said. “I'm...I'm sorry, I'm just...really happy right now.”

He sobered quickly, though, when he once again remembered Yuzu's friends, the ones that had stayed behind.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled. “You probably think I'm pretty callous.”

Yuzu smiled, and her hand brushed his briefly.

“Of course not,” she said. “You have a right to be happy—you've been carrying that burden for so long, and now it's finally lifted.”

Her eyes briefly grew sad, but then she shook her head.

“Masumi, Hokuto, and Yaiba can all take care of themselves,” she said. “I'm positive they'll be fine. Besides, my dad is still back there too, and he can tell everyone the truth. I'm sure that...Rayglen will be fine.”

Her eyes were still a little cloudy, though, and Yuya's heart jumped. He didn't want to make Yuzu sad...she had been so kind to him from the moment they had met. From before that, even, since she had told him about how she was the one to make those flowers bloom for him...and he didn't feel like he had done anything to deserve it.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Yuzu blinked, looking up at him.

“For what?”

“For...for giving me courage,” Yuya said, looking down. “I...I never even stopped to think that I could possibly be free from this...but you were so confident when you told that woman that I didn't have to die.”

He pressed a hand to his chest, curling it into the fabric of the new tunic that Crow had given him, to replace the one that had been ripped and torn.

“It...it made me happy,” he said. “That you were sticking up for me.”

Yuzu's cheeks reddened very slightly, but she just huffed.

“Of course I did,” she said. “You don't deserve any of this, Yuya. Not one bit. I'm just saying what any sane person should.”

Yuya laughed lightly at her bluntness, but he nodded.

“Thank you, anyway,” he said. “I'm...I'm glad we got to meet. Even if it wasn't in the best circumstances...and I'm sure I'm not at all what you expected.”

Yuzu smiled and shook her head.

“Well, I can't say that you are,” she said. “But I don't think that's a bad thing.”

They smiled briefly at each other, and Ruri made a soft cough sound. Yuzu looked across at her.

“What?” she demanded.

Ruri was too busy smiling behind her hand, and just giggled.

“Nothing,” she said in a singsong voice. “Anyway, Yuya...you said you hadn't gotten to see a lot of animals, right? Do you want me to call a few birds over to meet you?”

That sounded actually really interesting, to finally see an animal other than Armageddon up close—except, as soon as he opened his mouth to agree, his head sparked.

_ Wretched people, I'll destroy them for touching him— _

_ Kill the point guard first, and then the two flanks, that will make them scatter— _

_ Kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him— _

Yuya gasped at the sudden cacophony of destructive thoughts in his head. He swerved, looking quickly towards Shun in the back, Tsukikage on the flanks—

“Shun!” he shouted.

Shun's head jerked up, eyes narrowing towards Yuya. He opened his mouth to ask what—and then his face tightened, and he swerved backwards. Just in time to miss the thin dagger that shot right past him and dug into the earth. The dagger melted immediately into a thin, viscous silver liquid, which melted into the earth. Yuya recognized that—that was the Blessing of one of Edo's main priestesses, who could manipulate metal. She would be calling it back to her so that she could strike again, taking it underground so they couldn't pinpoint her location!

But Yuya's warning seemed to have been briefly enough, because Shun whipped towards the trees where the knife had come from, ripping his bow off of his back and notching an arrow to the strike in one fluid motion. He let the arrow fly off into the trees, but it made a sound like it had thunked into a tree.

Up ahead, Crow swore, and Yuya spun around to see him jerking back from the swipe of a spear that almost tore his throat open. Armageddon shrieked, rearing up on his hind legs and pawing at the sky. Rin swore behind him, and lifted her hands, her hair already starting to whip around her head.

Reiji drew his pistol, but Crow's attacker whipped towards him, moving almost too fast for Yuya to see. Reiji barely had time to swear before his pistol was knocked from his hand, and the shaft of the spear crashed against the side of his head. He went down like a stone, and Yuya screamed—but before the blur of red could drive the spear through his heart, Tsukikage streaked forward. His short knife caught the spear on the edge, and flipped it up over the woman's head. He tried to stab her in the side, but she flowed out of the way like she was made out of water. That was—that was the Blessing of the other one of Edo's main attending priestesses, Yuya remembered watching her and her sister in weapons demonstrations at festivals. Edo had sent his own main priestesses, the twins themselves, after him??

The woman with silver hair continued to move so fast and fluidly that even Tsukikage was having trouble keeping up. She was starting to blur slightly—in a moment, she would split into several illusory light projections of herself, each which was just solid enough to deal damage.

Crow charged her from behind with his short sword, but she blocked him with a fluid ease, kicking him in the stomach and then catching Tsukikage's blade on the shaft of her spear.

Then there were shouts behind him, and Yuya wasn't sure which way to go, which way to look. Yuzu pressed in against him with her back to him. Her fingers flexed, and Yuya saw the trees above them suddenly burst into bloom. A few flowers stretched down off of the branches and came down to curl around Yuzu's wrists, spreading and growing until she had a makeshift sword made of flowers. Ruri fell in on Yuya's other side, her hands out.

Behind them, the other twin hadn't yet shown herself, but her metal attacks were surging from both sides of the woods—where was she? She could control the metal to come from any direction, there was no telling exactly where she was!

Shun was dodging easily enough, but he didn't fire any more arrows, swearing in his own language. Gongenzaka, however, held his ground, his huge sword drawn as he scanned the trees for some sign of the attacker. It was only by virtue of Rin's windstorm surrounding both of them that the metal glanced off them without striking them.

“Watch out below you!” Yuya shouted. Rin swore, but she dodged just in time, pulling Gongenzaka out of the way as knives melted out of the ground beneath their feet, under the windstorm, and tried to stab them from below.

Selena shouted then, and Yuya's head whipped to the side. A third woman had emerged from the trees, striking out at Selena with her short sword. Selena stumbled back, her arms X'ed over her body, but she had no weapons. Yuya's heart jumped. He knew that woman, too, more by the screaming of  _ kill _ over and over again in his head than by anything else. The fake priestess, the one who had come to his order with the intent of trying to kill him, the one that he had hoped would be able to kill him someday.

_ I want to live _ , his brain repeated hollowly. He knew he couldn't die today, but—oh demons, what about his friends? These three were incredibly powerful priestesses!

“Stop,” he said, his voice choking briefly. “Stop!! Stop!!”

No one could hear him over the roar of battle. Selena stumbled back from another strike, and Sawatari rushed forward to swing his lute at the woman's head, enough to keep her at bay. The woman growled, and her eyes flashed towards Yuya.

“You can't have him!” Yuzu shouted, backing up against Yuya with one arm outstretched to protect him.

“Sister, cover me!” the silver haired woman shouted.

Ruri screamed as the silver haired priestess suddenly dropped her furious battle with the others and shot towards them. A swirling cloud of birds roiled towards her, but she ducked and wove under it easily. Yuya grabbed Ruri's arm and yanked her back, accidentally throwing her to the ground—but just in time to prevent her from taking a spear to the gut. He let out a soft moan as the spear struck him instead, grazing past his arm.

The woman briefly froze, her lips falling open with horror.

“My lord!” she said. “My lord, forgive me—”

But then Yuzu was swinging her thorny flower sword at the woman, causing her to drop briefly back. She went blurred and fluid again, practically phasing through each of Yuzu's strikes.

“Stop!” Yuya shouted again, his hands up. “Please, stop! Please!”

They couldn't hear him! Yuzu's flowers ripped under the woman's spear, but they grew back, shooting out like tentacles to try and envelop the woman. She dodged, and then split, fracturing into three separate, prismatic copies of herself. One copy tackled Yuzu from the front, while the other tried to circle in from the back. Ruri let out a shriek, and a trio of falcons clawed at the face of the copy coming from the back, driving her away from Yuzu.

The third one, however, Yuya completely lost track of—until he felt cool, gem like arms wrapping around him from behind.

“Forgive me for my insolence in touching you, my lord,” the woman said into his ear, sounding legitimately apologetic. “I'll remove you from here to a place of safety, my lord.”

Yuya immediately kicked back at the woman—surprising her so much that she actually dropped him. He fell to his knees, and scrambled back up. Yuzu was matching the copy blow for blow for now, and Ruri's birds were keeping the second copy away, but—

The second copy smacked one of the falcons aside, and it landed heavily on the ground. It heaved its spear towards Yuzu's back—

Letting out a cry, Yuya heaved himself forward. He gasped as the illusory spear thunked into his back, and he dropped to the ground. Yuzu's eyes flickered back over her shoulder.

“Yuya!” she screamed.

Yuya couldn't think for the dizziness—the spear disappear from his back, as it was only a copy, and he was left with just the bloody hole. Fuck. That had left a mark.

He struggled to his knees, feeling blood in his mouth again.

He saw the woman, her silver hair laying lank against her back, staring at him, with her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open, face as white as her hair.

“Stop,” he said, through a bubble of blood. “Please...please—don't hurt them, please—”

The woman hesitated, and the copy fighting Yuzu dissipated. She cried out, stumbling forward through a mid strike and almost falling to her knees. For just a brief moment, Yuya met the woman's eyes, and he thought—he thought he might sense some kind of spark—

And then the woman's eyes were ripped from his as Gongenzaka let out a roar, swinging his blade towards her head. She flowed around the move, and before anyone could blink, she shot into the trees.

“Sister, Tenjoin, we fall back!” she shouted. “We're falling back!”

Yuya dragged his head around towards the other woman, the woman that wanted to kill him.

For just a moment, her eyes locked on his.

Then she ducked under another swing of Sawatari's lute, and Selena's high kick, and she melted back into the forest. The rain of metal attacks stopped, and then, all at once, the woods were silent.

Shun ran forward to help his sister off the ground, smothering her in a hug.

“Merciful duality, are you all right?” he said.

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” Ruri said, but she sounded shaken.

Yuya  _ felt _ shaken. Had...had he gotten through to her...? That woman...?

He swallowed through the blood, and let his eyes close briefly. He felt Yuzu drop beside him and put her hand on his shoulder, asking if he was all right, but he was too tired...he just needed to heal.

He needed to heal, and then he needed to make sure no one else was seriously hurt...this was all his fault...

 


	43. FORTY-THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Wretched Weaponry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQT_LwV2qwM)

Sora scrambled back into the alley, pressing himself into the wall as he used his Blessing to heave a cart across the alley.

Panic briefly spiked when he heard the creature on the other side slam into the wood and briefly scrabble at it. But after a few loud snuffles and growls, Sora finally heard it lope away.

His head spun—but there was no time to stand where he was. He had to get back to the base.

He scurried down through the maze of alleys in the city slums. What had once been seen as a terrible design choice at best and an eyesore at worst was now one of their last defenses. The Inner Priests didn't know the city the way the Outer Priests did, and it was easy to disappear into the city's innards and block the ways in, hole up and barricade the entrances.

For how long that was going to last, though...especially with all the priests with Blessings, and those... _ things _ that were now loose in the city.

Sora shuddered, but kept running until he reached The Declawed Dragon deep within the alley system. He pushed through the doors, heart thrumming in his chest, and stumbled through into the crowd still gathered there.

The back room was a makeshift hospital now, and Sora could hear Aki shouting from inside for more clean water and bandages, with a few kids Sora's age or younger bolting back and forth from the back room. The main room had been co-opted into the staging room—for all their efforts, the temple had already been lost, and the rebellion was now confined to the slums for now, trying to bide their time. Roger had kept a stronger stranglehold on his support than they had anticipated, and his forces were strong.

Sora wove through the crowd between shouting and mumbling people until he reached the main table.

Edo sat at one end, looking pale and sallow. Sora's chest clenched. Edo shouldn't have done what he did—he should have gathered his forces himself first, by himself, and then thought about making an announcement...but Edo was too soft-hearted, he had wanted to make sure that the city and all of its people knew the truth as soon as possible. He had to sit, unlike the others, due to his heavy injuries that were still healing. Aki hadn't wanted him to leave her hospital room, but she had enough on her plate already, so she didn't have time to argue with him. He looked weird without his red robes, Sora thought. The normal brown tunic didn't suit him.

Shinji stood on the side of the table, poring over maps with a tense expression. He chewed on his lip, looking more stressed than even Sora. No one's stressed expression matched Dennis's, though, who stood awkwardly on the other side of the table, leaning on a cane to support himself from his own still healing injuries.

All three around the table looked up when Sora finally popped out through the crowd, and Shinji held up a hand to make everyone quiet down.

“You're back fast,” Shinji said. “What's it look like?”

Sora gnawed briefly on his lip.

“Bad,” he said. “Those demon hybrid things are still roaming the city. And Roger's gotten himself a real nice set up inside the temple.”

“They'll have the supply tunnels,” Dennis muttered. “They can settle in for as long as they have to...”

“I managed to get a listen through one of the windows,” Sora said, feeling pale. “Roger seems pretty confident that he can get reinforcements from Meiying in a couple of weeks.”

The mention of Meiying sent a worried murmured through the crowd. Everyone had heard the rumors of the technology that that country had been producing, ever since it had deposed its king and instituted a republic. Rumors of weapons that could kill a person just by pulling on a small lever, or even war weapons that could destroy entire cities in a single strike. Zarkania had been negotiating cautiously with them for years.

Edo groaned, rubbing one palm over his face.

“And he's probably not bluffing,” he muttered. “Roger was always better at the politics than I was...and Meiying is notoriously anti-religion. They'll respond to whatever Roger's offering them, like vultures.”

“A stake in the Empire isn't something Meiying is going to refuse,” Shinji muttered. “We'll be completely outnumbered, and caged in like rats in here. Easy pickings.”

The room exploded then with whispers and shouts.  _ What do we do, then? Is this it? Are we already giving up? Even though we got this alliance with the rebel priests? _

“Be quiet!!” Shinji roared. “No, you bastards, we're not giving up, I didn't say that!”

He released a heavy breath as everyone quieted down again.

“Now listen up,” Shinji said. “We're outnumbered—outgunned, and outmaneuvered, despite all our best efforts. But when has that ever stopped us?”

A few grunts of approval, but people were mostly just listening.

“I know I can't weave any pretty words like Jack would have done,” Shinji said, and at that, a few people bowed their heads or made brief signs of respect for the dead. “But you know he's still with us—something of him is still here, in this goddessdamned rebellion of ours, and he doesn't want us to quit. Find another way, he'd say. Find another way around. We're going to find that goddessdamned other way around.”

The group shoved into the bar roared with approval, stomping their feet and punching the air. And Sora saw Dennis's eyes spark.

“Another way around,” he mumbled. “Shinji—Shinji, I know a way into the temple.”

Shinji held up a hand to get everyone to be quiet again so that he could hear what Dennis was saying. Edo's eyes widened too as he looked at Dennis.

“There's a series of old servant paths,” Dennis said. “I...I used them to get out and...get things.”

He squirmed a bit uncomfortably now that everyone's eyes were on him, but kept his eyes fixed on Shinji.

“They're small—big enough to fit a single file line of a few people, but they lead right out into these alleys. Send a few people in and take Roger out. If...if he's gone, then...”

“Everything else could fall apart,” Edo said, nodding. “Roger is a powerful leader, if he's taken out, we have an edge. An assassination mission could be just what we need.”

“Send me!” Sora said, and Edo looked across at him. “Please, Edo, send me, I can do it.”

Edo's lips parted, and Sora was almost positive that he was going to say no.

And then, outside the bar, someone screamed. Sora's blood ran cold at the sound of a low, hissing howl that cut through the air.

“One of them got in!” someone screamed outside. “Oh  _ goddess— _ ”

Sora choked on his own saliva at the sound of the door ripping open. He heard screams, the thick, slathering sound of something drooling and dripping its acidic saliva all over the floor. Metal clanged uselessly against scales, and then Sora finally snapped back to himself. The room was writhing with bodies, running or struggling or trying to fight, as the demon hybrid forced its way inside. Its mouth was thick with saliva, eyes burning with rage and hunger—blood splattered across the floor when it cut through someone who tried to attack it.

Sora grabbed at the gravity of the hanging candleholder over the creature's head, and made it as heavy as possible. The candleholder ripped out of the ceiling with part of the ceiling attached to it and struck the creature heavy on the back. Sora held the gravity as hard as he could, trying to pin the creature to the floor.

“Get back!” he screamed. “Everyone get back!”

“Protect the hospital room!” Shinji shouted. “Goddess damn all of you, get back to the hospital room, protect the injured!”

If he kept the gravity heavy enough, the thing shouldn't be able to get up, right? He was pressing hundreds of thousands of tons onto this thing's back!!

Oh  _ demons _ . Was the candleholder  _ dissolving _ ?

Sora's throat went completely dry as he saw the candleholder on its back turning black, and actually wisping away, like it was being reduced to atoms.

“Stay away from it, it has the power of the Emperor!” Edo shouted behind him. “Sora!”

Sora grabbed for something else, a table, and as the demon hybrid staggered back to its hunched stance. The table fell down through its altered gravity as though the world for it had turned sideways, crashing into the hybrid and sending it hurtling through the door again. Sora's forehead beaded with sweat—he had been using his Blessing so much lately that it was starting to wear on him, badly.

His knees trembled, but the creature was out of the room, and a few people actually surged out after it, priests wielding what remained of their demon weapons and rebels with whatever they could get their hands on. Sora felt so dizzy, he thought he might fall—

Edo caught him.

“Sora,” he said. “Sora, listen to me, I can't send you in after Roger, but I have to ask something else of you.”

He spoke quickly, as outside the sound of ripping stone and wood and screams and clanging metal rang out over them. The hybrid was going to get back inside, Sora knew it, it was going to get back inside—

“Go to Shizenrei—a large detachment of Zarkanian priests went there after the monarchy fell and I  _ know  _ I have  _ many  _ allies among them, tell them that they have to come back here and fight with us immediately, Shizenrei is closer than Meiying, they'll get here first—Sora, you have to go, now, please!”

Edo sounded  _ scared _ . Sora's heart thrummed in his chest—he didn't want to leave, he couldn't leave everyone here behind to fight that thing, no one else's Blessing was as powerful as his—

Edo was trusting him.

Blinking back tears, Sora briefly gripped Edo's hand onto his shoulder.

“Stay safe!” he shouted at him. “I'll be back soon!”

He bolted out the door, and sent his gravity skyward, falling into the sky until he was high enough to land on a building, and switching his gravity again. He'd make for the walls, he could switch his own gravity and fall right past the walls from here, too fast for anyone else to see him. Then—then he'd figure out something, some way to get the Shizenrei.

Edo was trusting him.

He had to get back.

He had to bring help.

  
  



	44. FORTY-FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Amicae Carae Meae](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3srhIS-LCo)

The edge of the Slip gave way from forest and into cliffs.  It started slowly at first, until the world around them slowly dyed orange, the ground became more uneven, and then the trees fell away, and they were traveling between canyons.  The walls were striped with different shades of red and orange, and Yuzu ran her hands against the stone with a growing wonder.  How did the stone turn colors in such neat lines?  She had never seen anything like it before in her life.  It was only now that it was really hitting her—she hadn’t been outside of Rayglen since she was a child, and before that, she had never left Eclipsine.  There was an entire world out there just waiting for her to explore, and her skin itched to get out into it.

She felt Yuya must have been feeling the same way, judging by the look of awe he had as he walked with his head craned up towards the tops of the cliffs.  He had seen even less of the world than she had, and she had to smile seeing how excited he was at the world around him.  

Part of her shivered though, in spite of herself—sure, he looked fine now, but…just a while ago, he had been bleeding out.  She’d seen him hurt so many times…he tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal, but healing ability or no healing ability was terrible to see him like that.

Reiji rode just ahead of them, perched on Armageddon’s back.  He had come out of the fight with a bit of a concussion, and although Crow tried to argue with him that they needed to give him time to rest, he was insistent that they get moving. 

_ “The priestesses will come back,” _ he had said.   _ “We can’t be sitting in the same place, waiting for them, when that happens.  Besides, we’re on a time limit.” _

They compromised on making him ride Armageddon for a while, while they split up some of his baggage among the others.  Yuzu had one of the bags slung over her shoulder, and Yuya had a bag around his waist now.

“Be alert,” Shun said from the back of the group.  “It’s easy to get assassins on top of the cliffs, here.”

“I have some falcons keeping an eye out,” Ruri piped up.

“Tsukikage is already up there,” Reiji said, but he winced slightly, and put a hand to his forehead.  Yuzu frowned.  They really shouldn’t be making him move around this much…  “Don’t worry, Shun, we will be well warned if anyone is above us.  Besides, it’s only another mile or two to the border.”

He winced again, and this time, his hand fluttered to his throat.  What was that about?

“The border?” Yuya said, blinking.  “Wait…”

He scrunched up his face in concentration.

“Hang on, Shizenrei is in between us and the western mountains,” he said.  “You—you can’t cross the border.”

Yuzu tilted her head.  What did that mean?

“What do you mean, he can’t cross the border?” Rin said.

“It’s not important at the moment,” Reiji said, voice clipped, but Yuya wasn’t having it.  His face screwed up as he pushed forward, bringing himself even with Armageddon’s plodding steps.

“We have to go around,” Yuya said.  “We have to go around the border of Shizenrei—it doesn’t extend to the mountains, so you should be fine if we loop around through the northern mountains.”

“That will add an additional month to our journey, at  _ least _ ,” Reiji said, without looking down at him.  “We simply do not have the time.  Cutting through Shizenrei is the fastest way.”

“Reiji, that thing will kill you if you try to cross the border!”

Yuzu had no idea what was going on, and she jogged forward to get next to Yuya.

“What are you guys talking about?” she said.

“Reiji’s got a demon collar,” Yuya said, looking irritated.  “They were supposed to be made to contain  _ me _ , but Roger used one on him.  It prevents him from crossing the border.  That’s why you’re feeling sick right now, right?  It’s not the concussion, it’s the collar.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Reiji said, but up here, he didn’t look very fine.

“It’ll choke you to death if you get too much closer to the border,” Yuya said.  “We have to go the long way around.”

“I’ll have figured something out by the time we reach the border.”

Yuya tried to grab hold of Reiji by the leg, but Armageddon simply plodded on, so Yuya couldn’t get a grip.

“I’ve come so close to losing almost all of you so many times,” he said, voice cracking.  “Reiji,  _ please _ , can we stop and talk about this?  I don’t want to decide to live just so that you can die!”

The commotion was finally attracting the attention of the rest of the group, and the front of the party slowed to a stop.  Crow walked back first.

“What’s going on?” he said.

“Reiji’s demon collar,” Yuya said.

Crow winced.

“Oh, shit…I forgot about that.  Reiji, why didn’t you say anything?”

“It was irrelevant,” Reiji muttered.

“Demon collar?” Selena said, trotting forward from the back, where she had been taking rear guard with Shun and Ruri.

Reiji looked increasingly uncomfortable as the group gathered around.

“We should keep moving,” he said.

“No, Yuya’s right, I think we need to talk about this,” Yuzu said.  “You’re kind of our guide here as far as Sanctuary goes…we can’t exactly leave you behind or let you die, either.”

Reiji grimaced.

“Besides, we’ve been traveling for a while,” Crow said, looking up at the sky.  “We could all probably use a break.”

“We should—” Reiji started, but Sawatari, on purpose or maybe not, drowned him out with a loud strumming on his lute.

“They were going to get on your case about it eventually,” Sawatari said with a pointed smile. “Better now than before the collar is choking you to death, hm?”

Reiji looked very, very irritated, but after a bit more prompting—as well as the fact that everyone else was starting to sit down for break time, and Armageddon seemed very keen on staying exactly where he was—he finally slid down from the horse.  Yuzu caught him by one arm.

“Let me check your concussion first,” she said.  “I really don’t think you should have been traveling this much as is.”

Reiji just pressed his lips together, but he did not protest as Yuzu checked him over, giving brief, one-word responses to her questions about whether he was having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly.

His hands twitched towards his neck again, and Yuzu looked up.

“Should I be looking at this collar, too?” she said.

“It’s not necessary,” Reiji started, but then a cool breeze whipped up, and very neatly flung his scarf from his neck.  Yuzu glanced over her shoulder to see Rin pointedly not looking at either of them, and Reiji tried to snatch for the scarf.

It was already flung from his neck, though, so Yuzu could see the collar now.  She felt a swear growing on the back of her tongue.  The collar itself wasn’t much, just a plain, thin ring of black metal locked around his neck.  But it was clearly far too tight, pressing in on his throat and leaving a slight redness—and that wasn’t counting the fact that his skin looked dark and bruised for about an inch around the collar, growing upwards like some terrible, vine-like disease creeping over his skin.

“Goddess, no wonder you’re in pain,” she said.  “I’ve never even seen anything like this…”

She bit her lip—she was trained in field medicine, but she had no idea what to do for this.

“So basically…we need to find a way to get it off,” she said.

“I don’t know that there is a way, except for Roger himself to remove it,” Reiji said dryly.  “Believe me, Yuzu…I have tried everything.”

Yuya leaned in to look at it, his face tight and pale.  Yuzu thought about how Yuya had called them “things meant to contain  _ me _ ” and thought that it must be distressing for him to see these things again.

“I could use my flowers to pick the lock?” Yuzu suggested.

“There isn’t a keyhole,” Reiji said.

“Might cut you a bit, but we could like, pry it off with some kind of forging tools, right?” Rin said.

Reiji winced.

“Sawatari and I attempted that.  I do not recommend it.”

“Have you tried slicing through it with a demon weapon?” Yuya said.

“Yes,” Reiji said.

“What tier?”

“What…tier?” Reiji blinked once.  Clearly, he had no idea what Yuya was talking about.

“Which tier was it?” Yuya said.  “There’s four tiers of demon tools.  Your collar is a tier two, so you’d need a tier three or higher weapon to override it.”

Reiji’s lips parted.  For a moment, something sparked behind his eyes.

“What would characterize the different kinds of weapons?” he said.

Yuya paused to think about it, his tongue sticking out slightly.  He counted out on his fingers.

“Tier one look the simplest,” he said.  “They’re usually bracers or bracelets, or the higher quality ones are short daggers.  The bracers let off a single pulse of destructive energy that melts anything inanimate and briefly stuns anything animate.  Daggers in that tier can light on fire.”

“That was the one I tried,” Reiji said.  “I stole it from a priest in one of the towns near Eclipsine.”

“Then of course it wouldn’t work,” Yuya said.  “All those can do is briefly light themselves on fire, they don’t have much of my power in them.”

He continued, and Yuzu found herself raptly attentive.  This was something she had never learned in Rayglen—they had heard of demon weapons, of course, but to know that there were different levels?  That was new information, and possibly  _ life saving _ information.

“Tier two are binding weapons, like your collar, and the chains they’d use to try and keep me under control in an episode.  Tier three are more ornate weapons, longswords, bows, spears.  They’re incredibly strong, can’t shatter, and can slice neatly pretty much anything because they pass through things at an atomic level.  You’d need at least one of those to get that collar off, but it should work.”

The gears in Reiji’s brain were clearly turning, because his eyes hazed over, and he seemed to be mouthing something to himself.

“Where would we be able to find a tier three weapon, then?” Crow said.

“Any priest with a leadership position or in a bodyguard position would have one,” Yuya said.

“What about tier four?” Yuzu said, the words coming out of her mouth without thinking about it.

She immediately regretted it, because Yuya’s face briefly paled.  He tried to smile though, as though he had seen Yuzu’s regret on her face.

“They’re…very rare,” he said.  “There’s only five of them.  All of them are very uncommon looking swords…”

“What do they do?” Rin asked.

Yuya shuddered briefly, and Yuzu sent Rin a look.  Rin looked chagrined, and looked down.

“They…anything they touch will lose all atomic cohesion,” he said, his voice dry and clipped like he was reading out of textbook.  “People just…dissolve.”

The group fell briefly silent.  Gongenzaka cleared his throat then.

“Well, then we need to get a hold of one of these tier three weapons,” he said.  “Where’s the closest settlement outside of Shizenrei that might have a priest of suitable standing?”

“We can’t go that far out of our way,” Reiji started.

“We don’t have to,” Yuya said.  “I can make one.”

Again, the entire group fell immediately silent.

Make one?  Yuzu thought.  No…that made sense.  It was said that all of the demon weapons came from the demon himself, from him imparting his blessing onto the items.  So…Yuya could magick one into existence or something?  How did it work?

“Absolutely not,” Reiji said, actually snapping at him.  “You told me how that works.  We’re not doing it.”

“We don’t even know the proper runes to inscribe on the weapon to make it work,” Crow argued, looking just as mortified as Reiji.  What did they know that she didn’t?

“We don’t have time to go looking for a priest that has one,” Yuya said.  “And we don’t really have the numbers or resources to take on any place that would have a priest of that standing.”

He looked across at Selena, who jumped.

“You know the runes, right?” he said.  “They teach you the basics at the temple.”

“I…that doesn’t mean I remember,” Selena said quickly, face reddening.  “I was a kid when I was at the temple.”

“Yeah, but Yuuri tells me that you know all the runes,” Yuya said stubbornly.

Selena shook her head, and Crow stepped forward, grabbing Yuya’s arm.

“You’re not going to do that,” he said.  “We’ll figure out something else.”

“Like what?” Yuya countered.

“Like I can stay behind,” Reiji said tersely.  “I should have just done that from the start.”

“We can’t get there without you,” Yuzu said.

“Sawatari knows the way as well as me.”

“Yeah, true, but I’m following  _ you _ around,” Sawatari said, humming to himself.

Reiji sent Sawatari a glare.  Yuzu’s head just spun.  Everyone was talking all at once and she didn’t know who to listen to or what was going on.  What was wrong with Yuya making a demon weapon to free Reiji?  Did it…involve something bad…?

“Absolutely not,” Reiji said again.

“You told me that I got to decide what I wanted to do for myself,” Yuya shot back.  “Well, I’m deciding.”

He snapped up to his feet, stalked over to Selena, and grabbed her by the wrist.

“Um, I don’t know about this,” Selena started.  “We don’t even have a weapon, or a forge—”

“It’ll work even just by drawing them on,” Yuya said.  “It doesn’t have to hold my power for long, just long enough to get Reiji’s collar off.  So get a quill or even some mud or something, we can draw on someone’s sword.”

Gongenzaka immediately grabbed his and stuck it behind him.  Yuya looked at Reiji, who stubbornly did not make a move towards his own weapon.   Sawatari just shrugged, and Rin and Ruri exchanged confused glances with Yuzu.

Yuzu stood up, and the movement caught everyone’s attention.

“Could someone please explain what exactly is the problem?” she said.  “I’m getting kind of…stressed out over here.”

Rin nodded emphatically.

“To make a demon weapon—” Reiji started tersely.

“Don’t,” Yuya said, lip jutting out stubbornly.  “Don’t tell her.”

“Don’t tell me what?” Yuzu said.  Her chest spiked with irritation, and she turned towards Yuya with her hands on her hips.  “Don’t hide this from me, Yuya.  We’re friends, right?”

Yuya briefly faltered.  Then his face hardened again.

“You’ll try to tell me no, too,” he said.

“Well maybe if no one else wants you to do it, maybe you shouldn’t,” she said.  “You need to stop being so sacrificial the time!”

“This isn’t me being sacrificial, this me trying to be practical,” Yuya said.  “We don’t have time to look for any other options, and we need Reiji to get to Sanctuary.  Reiji can’t get to Sanctuary unless we either go all the way around Shizenrei, or we get his collar off.”

“But how does a demon weapon work?” Yuzu said.  “How are you going to make this…tier three weapon?”

“Demon weapons require Yuya’s blood,” Reiji said, before Yuya could stop him.  Yuya glared at him as Yuzu’s heart dropped into her stomach.

“No way,” Rin said immediately.

“You can’t,” Ruri said, her hand going to her heart.

“It’s not going to hurt me!” Yuya said, throwing up his hands.  “Listen—all I need is a weapon with some runes drawn on it, and then I just have to bleed on it for a few minutes.  It won’t even really hurt!”

“I won’t have you harming yourself, not for my sake,” Reiji said stubbornly.

Yuya made a thin, strangled noise of frustration.

“It’s not the same as when the priests took my blood—you guys aren’t going to be torturing me for hours for three gallons of blood.  I’m just gonna like, prick my finger and bleed onto a sword for a few minutes.  This is something I’m choosing, not something that someone else is forcing me to do!”

Yuzu opened her mouth to argue, too—Yuya couldn’t just go cutting himself, even if he would heal quickly!

And then, up over their heads, one of Ruri’s falcons let out one low cry.  There was a faint scrabble above their heads on the cliff above, and hands jumped to weapons as eyes flicked up.

For a moment, nothing.

And then, on top of the cliff, a shadow shot off the side of the cliff, and Tsukikage landed lightly among the group.

“What’s going on?” Reiji said.

Tsukikage signed to him, and pointed up to the low cliff.  Reiji’s eyes widened, but he didn’t look frightened—only surprised.  He looked up towards the cliff.

They waited for a few, bated breaths.

Then a slight shadow appeared above them, and carefully lowered herself down the side of the cliff, one scrabbling step at a time.  Her hair glimmered silver in the light of the sun, almost setting, and for a second, Yuzu’s heart jumped into her throat.  It was the priestess from this morning!  She heard Shun swear, and Gongenzaka went for his blade, but Tsukikage held up both hands.

The woman reached the bottom of the cliff, turning towards them.  Her eyes scanned quickly over the group, and fell and held on Yuya.

She let out a long, thin breath before dropping to her knees, her head bowed.

“Please forgive me,” she said.  “My lord…I thought I had come to free you from your kidnappers, but I only harmed you instead.  I did not see the truth.”

Her voice actually trembled.  Was this some kind of trick, maybe?  Someone sent to drag Yuya back to the temple to lock him up again?  She moved almost instinctively, to edge herself between Yuya and the woman.

“You tried to protect these, that I thought were your captors.  Please forgive your servant for her eyes being clouded.”

Her gaze lifted tentatively to Yuya, who stared back at her.  Yuzu looked at Yuya to try and gauge his reaction.  He didn’t look particularly nervous, just…surprised.

“My lord, would you allow your servant a question?” she said.

Yuya blinked.  Then he seemed to come back to himself and he nodded quickly.

“Is what I have overheard true?” she said.  “Are you truly…fleeing the temple?  There are those there that harmed you?  Who took your blood to make our weapons, against your will?”

Yuya flinched.  He bit down hard on his lip, and for a minute, it looked like he wasn’t going to be able to answer.

He swallowed.

“Y-yes,” he said.  “Yes, it’s true.”

The woman moaned, closing her eyes.  She lowered her head ever deeper.

“Forgive me, my lord,” she said. “Forgive your poor, worthless servant, who could not see what was being done—who almost brought you back to a prison that I thought was a temple.”

She dragged the spear off of her back and tossed it to the ground before her.

“Forgive me,” she said again.  “I wielded a weapon that stole so intimately from you.”

“It’s—it’s okay, you didn’t know,” Yuya said.  He stepped forward, tentatively.  Yuzu briefly reached for him, scared in spite of herself.  This woman had almost killed her this morning…and Yuya had taken the blow for her.  Yuya gripped her arm briefly with a reassuring smile, then stepped forward so that he was in front of the kneeling woman.

He crouched down so that he was almost at eye level with her, but she kept her eyes on the ground.

“Please, you don’t have to kneel,” Yuya said, sounding awkward.  “I’m…I’m sorry.”

The woman almost flinched.

“I am truly unworthy, to have made my lord god apologize to  _ me _ ,” she said.  “I should be the one begging your forgiveness, for my blindness, you were harmed…and I almost harmed you and these among you again.”

She lifted her eyes tentatively to Yuya.  Yuya smiled at her.

“You’re Grace, right?” he said.

The woman’s eyes widened, and she nodded quickly.

“My lord remembers my name,” she said, sounding shocked.

Yuya smiled at her again.

“Listen, really…I’m not really…any kind of god,” he said.  “And I’m sorry that…I’m sorry I’m not.  I wish I could be for you.”

She shook her head wildly.

“No matter what those who harmed you may have told you, you are still my lord,” she said.  “God or no god, you are my lord, and I will do as  _ you _ command, and not as anyone else does.”

Yuya looked so uncertain, and Yuzu wondered if the reverence was making him uncomfortable.  She would be feeling the same.

But he smiled all the same.

“Well…we’re traveling somewhere in particular,” he said.  “And if you want to come, you can.”

“I would follow you to the ends of the earth if you commanded it,” she said.

Yuya actually winced a bit, but he kept smiling.

“Okay,” he said, awkwardly.  “But…oh.”

His eyes dropped down to the spear that she had dropped.  He reached for it, hefting it briefly, his eyes sparking.  Hang on…that wasn’t…could it be, Yuzu thought?  A tier three demon weapon?

“Hey,” he said.  “Do you think we could use this really quickly?”


	45. FORTY-FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Memories of Dust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pokPUSatM8)

_ “I don’t like her,” _ Yuuri said.

_ “You don’t like anyone,” _ Yuto said.

This was a common conversation, so Yuya tuned it out.

They had crossed the Shizenrei border almost two days ago.  Yuya hadn’t even noticed it until they exited the canyons and came out into a thinly wooded forest that melted out into a wide open meadow.  Reiji said the actual border was somewhere in the canyon range, so there hadn’t been any change to notice.

He was just glad that the collar was finally gone from Reiji’s neck.  There was still bruising and residue from the demon magic, but he covered that up with his scarf again and told him it was fine.  He heard Reiji’s voice crack slightly, though, and Reiji had had to turn away.   _ He can finally go home _ , Yuya thought.   _ I should tell him that he can go home, he doesn’t have to travel with me anymore. _

But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to say it, so he didn’t.

_ “We were lucky she showed up,” _ Yuya reminded the arguing counterparts.   _ “And that she had a tier three weapon.” _

He glanced over his shoulder through the dark.  It was late, and they didn't dare build a fire, even this far to the edge of Shizenrei's border.  Shizenrei was still an occupied country, and they could attract unnecessary attention.

He could see Grace, one of the few still awake, sitting upright with her back to him, her spear kept gingerly over her shoulder.

She had wanted to throw it away, as soon as they had finished using it to remove Reiji's collar.  Yuya had heard her thoughts full of self-loathing at touching the thing; it had become a source of horror for her.  Now that she knew how it was made, she wanted nothing to do with it.

Yuya had convinced her it was okay to keep it.  Besides, his blood was already in it.  No need to waste it; it still had a good week or two of use, and it would help her immensely with her fighting style.

Crow and Gongenzaka had been the absolute most suspicious of her—Gongenzaka because he hated all priests, and Crow because he had actually seen her present at many events, behind Edo.  Yuya knew, though, that she wasn't lying.  No one could fake their thoughts.  She was truly mortified at herself, and he felt sick at how she actually kept thinking about doing some kind of penance by harming herself.  The first time he had gotten sick from hearing her thoughts and told her that under no circumstances was she to hurt herself, she had actually broken down crying, bowing to him and thanking him for being such a merciful god.

He supposed that he wasn't helping his “I'm not really a god” case by being able to read her thoughts.

_ “You don't have to like her,” _ Yuya told Yuuri.   _ “You just have to deal with her.” _

Yuuri huffed, but he fell silent.

Yuya stared at the back of Grace's head for a moment.  Then, gingerly, he rose himself to his feet, and wandered slowly over to Grace.

Her shoulders jumped when she saw who approached, and she tried to scramble up to her knees so she could bow.

“It's okay, you can stay where you are,” he said quickly.  He was never going to get used to this.  Hopefully she calmed down soon...  “Is it okay if I sit down?”

“Of course, my lord, you honor me with your presence.”

Maybe he should just be leaving her alone, she seemed very flustered whenever he was nearby or talking to her.  But he kind of wanted to get to know her...she was a priestess who had defected to his side so quickly.  If...if he had just tried to reach out to some of the other priests outside of Roger's circle, would they have helped him...?

He sat down quietly beside her, and for a moment, they just sat there in a slightly tense, awkward silence.  He could sense how stiff she was, and could hear the faint rumble of her thoughts, once again about how she wanted to harm herself as penance for being complicit in hurting him.

“Uh,” he said, and she jumped a little.  “Is it...it it okay if I ask what happened to the other two priestesses you were traveling with?”

“My lord may ask of me anything,” she said in that  _ almost  _ annoying subservient tone.

She licked her lips.

“I do beg forgiveness for my sister,” she said then.  “My sister Gloria, was one of my compatriots on this mission...upon our retreat, she would not believe me when I said I believed that you did not want to come home.  She...please forgive her, my lord, she believed that those among you may have coerced or brainwashed you.”

She looked quickly and nervously at him.

“Please forgive her lack of faith, my lord, I know that there is nothing in this world that could control your mind—”

_ Not exactly true, but okay _ , Yuya thought.

“It's okay,” he said.  “I mean...I'm sure all of this is confusing for both of you.”

Grace relaxed slightly.

“She would not return with me,” she said, looking down at the ground.  “She would not believe me.”

She looked and sounded so sad that Yuya wanted to do something, like pat her on the knee or something.  But he thought that might actually send her into a heart attack, so he kept his hands to himself.

“You miss her, don't you?”

Grace curled up slightly on herself, gripping her spear tightly.

“My sister and I have never been apart before now,” she said.  “Forgive my weakness, my lord.”

“It's okay, really, it's okay,” Yuya said. “You don't have to ask my forgiveness for everything...there's really nothing you've done that I need to forgive.”

She let out a thin moan.

“My lord is far too kind to his servant,” she mumbled.

_ “She's never going to get it through her head,” _ Yugo muttered.

Yuto shushed him, and Yuya just shook his head.  He briefly hugged his knees to his chest, just sitting in the silence.  A thought occurred to him.

“What about the other priestess?” he said.

“Priestess Tenjoin?” Grace said.  “I…”

She frowned.  Her eyes narrowed.

“You know I…I don’t remember…Gloria and I were arguing, and she wasn’t saying a word…and when I stormed off…”

She frowned again.

“She must have stayed with Gloria,” Grace said.

“What…what do you know about her?”

He could still almost feel her gaze on him, burning into him, her thoughts swirling with an absolute darkness and desire to rip him to pieces.  It was a wonder, really, that Edo had not sensed her intent and thrown her from the temple.

“Not very much, except that the High Priest of the Inner Circle seems partial to her,” Grace sniffed.  “She hardly speaks.  I think she must be one of the priests who join for political gain rather than spiritual.”

“I…I see.”

That woman was probably still out there, and Gloria too…they’d be following them still.  He wondered how far behind they were, or why they hadn’t caught up as soon as Grace had left them.

For a long time, they simply sat in a strange silence.  Grace seemed to have relaxed, though, and she wasn’t sitting as tensely as she had been before.

“Grace?” he said.

She snapped to attention.  She always seemed flustered when he called her by name, but he wasn’t sure what to do instead.

“Yes, my lord?”

Yuya sighed.

“Well…first, you can call me Yuya, you know.”

Grace looked mortified, even in the dark.

“I—I could never be so familiar as to call my lord by his true name—”

“Okay, okay,” Yuya said.  “Anyway…what I wanted to say was thank you.”

Her lips parted, her eyes glimmering in the dark.

“Thank you?  For what could you possibly owe me gratitude?”

“You…you walked away from your sister for me,” he said, looking down at the ground.  “I can tell that hurt you a lot…but you came to help us anyway.  Thank you.”

Grace clearly didn’t know how to respond, her hands clenching and unclenching from around her spear.

“May I beg your leave, my lord?” she finally mumbled.

Yuya tried to hide his smile—he had embarrassed her.  He felt kind of bad.

“Yeah, of course.”

She bowed awkwardly from her sitting position, then hopped to her feet and scurried away to where Tsukikage and Shun were currently on watch duty. 

Yuya smiled at her back.

_ “I still don’t like her,” _ Yuuri said.   _ “She’s annoying.” _

_ “Well  _ I _ like her,” _ Yuya said.  _ “And you don’t have to be the one to interact with her, Yuuri.” _

Yuuri grumbled, but Yuya just smiled.  He glanced out over their tiny camp for the night, thinking that he should probably get some sleep.

Most of the group already was asleep—Reiji was catching up on rest now that Yuzu had finally told him his concussion was probably healed enough for him to sleep without worry.  Even in the dark, Yuya could see the hulking form of Armageddon, who was standing next to where Reiji slept.  The horse had become...odd ever since they crossed the border, pawing the ground often and staring off into the distance.  Yuya wondered if he could smell home.

_ Home _ , he thought suddenly.   _ Reiji can go home. _

_ Where...where will I go after all of this is over? _

He already knew that he wanted to live...but...even if they found a way to free him from his fate, where would he go next?  His home was burnt to the ground.  Gongenzaka still lived, and perhaps others, but his parents were gone.  Yuya knew that much just from Gongenzaka's nervous mumbles when Yuya had asked.  He would never go back to the temple, either.  Not for as long as he lived, he refused to ever set foot in that city, even, ever again.

The darkness moved softly, and he looked up.  Yuzu's eyes glittered from the stars.

“Can I sit here?” she asked.

“Of course.”

She sat gingerly down on the ground beside him, and curled her knees up against her chest.  For a long moment, they just sat there beside each other, staring up at the stars.

“I heard you talking with Grace,” she said.  “She doesn’t tire you out?  I feel like I’d be exhausted.”

Yuya laughed lightly.

“She’s…she’s trying,” he said.  “But—yeah.  Getting called ‘my lord’ all the time is a little awkward.”

Yuzu laughed too.

“Is it weird?” she said.

“Definitely,” Yuya said.  “But…it’s kind of nice, too?  I mean…I keep thinking.  If she had known what was happening to me back at the temple…maybe she would have done something.  Maybe there are more priests and priestesses like her—people who actually think I’m a god instead of a tool…people who might actually listen to me.”

He hugged his knees.

“Is that wrong that it makes me feel…a little safer?” he said, voice a bare whisper.  “I know…I know a lot of bad things have been done in the name of my religion, but…maybe there are more like her than I thought.  Maybe…maybe if I could just have talked to them, or reached out…they would have stopped.”

Yuzu’s hand slid over onto his knee, and she met his gaze, smiling.

“That’s not wrong,” she said.  “I’ll bet something of it is relieving to find out that not every person is bad, right?”

He smiled.  Yeah, that was it.  That was exactly what he had been trying to say.

He looked around a bit, at the quiet, mostly asleep camp again.  Sawatari and Ruri appeared to be the only two still awake besides the watch, and Yuya could hear Ruri giggling faintly at something Sawatari was saying.

“She's going to encourage him too much,” Yuya said.

Yuzu giggled.

“That's the last thing he needs, right?”

It was just so...calm.  So calm, and gentle.  He felt like he could breathe...nothing was hanging over his head right now.  There was nothing but the stars above him, and the wide open fields around them, with their grasses waving and whispering in the cool late night breeze.

“What do you think we'll find in Sanctuary?” Yuzu whispered.

Yuya shook his head.

“I can't even begin to imagine it...what kind of place would a goddess live, do you think?”

His mind conjured up images of a temple like his own, a huge, spiraling construction with pillars carved to look like leaves and trees, glimmering marble white in the sunset.

“I...I think she probably lives somewhere simple,” Yuzu said.

Yuya looked at her.

“Really?” he said.  “Why do you think that?”

Yuzu shrugged, and hugged her knees a little tighter to her chest.

“Just a feeling,” she said.  “Like...right, I don't think I ever told you, about what Rayglen was doing to us.”

“Rin...mentioned it,” Yuya said, looking down at the ground.  “They were...trying to recreate the goddess in one of you, right?”

Yuzu nodded.

“I...I saw the records of what happened to Rin.”

Yugo muttered angrily, but Yuya ignored him.

“She was briefly possessed by the spirit of the goddess.  And...and the goddess didn't want to be there.”

Yuya looked across at her with surprise.

“What do you mean, she didn't want to be there?”

Yuzu bit her lip, her face faintly illuminated by the stars and the crescent moon.

“She was begging for them to let her go.  Not to make her fight anymore.  She didn't want to have to fight.”

Her eyes glimmered when she looked across at him, bangs shifting over her forehead.

“I think the goddess just wants to be left alone,” she said.  “I'll bet she's living somewhere where no one can find her on purpose...somewhere that's quiet, and secluded, and small.  Somewhere where no one who comes across her will ever guess that she could be a goddess.”

It made sense, Yuya thought, and for some reason, he felt his stomach doing flip flops.  That sounded...sad.  Why was the goddess the one who was sad like that?  Why was she the one who didn't want to come back? 

Reiji wanted to know the truth between the goddess and the demon.  He wanted to know what had actually happened.

Did that mean...

“Yuzu,” Yuya whispered, meeting her eyes.  “Do you think...do you think the demon and the goddess could have really been...friends before this happened to them...?”

Yuzu's lips parted slightly.  For a moment, the entire world was silent between them, and even the voices in Yuya's head were quiet, waiting to hear the answer.

Then she nodded, very slowly.

“I think...I think that makes a lot of sense,” she said.  “I think that makes...too much sense.”

She let her knees fall down so that she was sitting cross legged, pressing her hands against her ankles.

“When you got into that demon rage, and then calmed down because you saw we weren't going to hurt you, you sounded scared,” she said.  “And...and you called out for someone, it wasn't me, but you said a name.   _ Ray. _ ”

Yuya's breath caught.  For a half second, he felt like he was choking.  A horrible tremble ran down his spine and his heart leaped up into an incredible speed, drying out his mouth.  That name...why did that name have such an effect on him...?

“You were trying to tell Ray something,” she said.  “You were...apologizing.  You said you went too far, but once you realized you had, it was too late to stop.”

Her eyes clouded with distance, looking off at something that Yuya couldn't see.

“I wonder if...something must have gone wrong...something that scared the demon enough to go on a rampage...and once he started, no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't stop.”

Yuya bit down hard on his lip.  His hands were trembling in his lap.  Why did this make him feel this way?  Trembling like this?

He swallowed.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Yuzu glanced quickly at him, her eyes clearing.

“For what?”

He smiled across at her, meeting her eyes.  They looked black in the night, but they were still full of starlight.

“For everything you've been doing for me,” he said.  “You freed me even though it meant you had to turn against your order...and you came all this way with me even though it meant leaving everything you knew behind.”

Yuzu ducked her head, and he wondered if she might be blushing.  It was hard to tell in the dark.

“It's not really special,” she said.  “The other girls did it too.  And it's just something I should be doing, you know?”

Yuya reached across almost automatically and put his hand on top of hers.

“I'm thanking you anyway,” he said.  “Just because it's something that other people did too...or that it's something you  _ should _ be doing...doesn't change the fact that  _ you _ decided to do it.  For me.  And...and I can't thank you enough.”

Tears prickled in his eyes.  After a beat, Yuzu's hand turned upward, so that she could grip his hand back.  She smiled.

“Okay,” she said.  “Then let me thank you, too.”

“For what?” he said, blinking with surprise.

She squeezed his hand.

“For always giving me courage, even before you knew who I was,” she said.

For just a breath, the world was silent.  It was just them, gripping each other's hands, and meeting each other's gazes.  The world was still, and gentle.

And then Yuya heard the quick steps of someone darting through the grass, and he looked up to see Grace's silver hair whipping through the dark.

She dropped to one knee in front of Yuya, but her eyes immediately lifted to him instead of remaining on the ground.

“We need to go,” she said.

“What?  What’s wrong?”

Shun and Tsukikage were on Grace’s heels, running over to meet them.

“Grace says that her sister is coming,” Shun said.  “I haven’t heard anything, but—”

“My sister will not be heard if she doesn’t want to be,” Grace said. “We need to rouse the others and go  _ now _ .”

Yuya didn’t hesitate. He scrambled to his feet, grabbing Yuzu’s hand and pulling her with him.

“Let’s wake everyone up,” he said.  “We—”

He didn’t have time to finish his sentence, because Ruri screamed.

Yuya whirled—but it was too late.  The darkness swelled and bubbled, and then in places where nothing had been before, shadowy people appeared.  Yuya screamed in spite of himself as he saw the whistle of metal in the dark, heard shouts and groggy swears, heard Armageddon scream.

“Don’t kill them,” he heard a voice call out loud over the group—Grace went white, and Yuya knew that must be her sister, Gloria.  “We’ll bring them to justice appropriately.”

Yuya grabbed hold of Yuzu as the shadowy soldiers closed in on them, far too fast for them to react.  He squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden burst of terror.

_ We…we got caught. _

_ I’m going back to the temple. _

 


	46. FORTY-SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [☆☆**](https://youtu.be/dczOwQ9fD-Q)

Only some of Yuya’s panic was assuaged when the enchantment scroll’s magic faded, and they appeared not within the temple walls, but in a place that Yuya had never seen before.

Still, the panic was too strong for him to do much more than sit there and tremble.

They had been taken too much by surprise.  No one had been able to get to their weapons fast enough—even Armageddon had been subdued, and Reiji had shouted at the stallion to flee.  Armageddon did manage to escape into the night, but the rest of them were trapped in demon chains and dragged through the wormhole of the enchantment scroll to…wherever this was.

Yuya trembled from his seat—as soon as his friends had been caught, and Yuzu dragged from his hands, he had been immediately surrounded by priests.  His head buzzed with their thoughts—some of them angry and hateful towards his friends, others towards him himself.  Inner Circle priests. There were some here, and they knew the truth.  He had known that for sure when, after he had been quickly forced into a curtained palanquin, one of the priests had reached in and clamped a bracer to his wrist that sapped his ability to speak.

Even if he  _ had _ been able to talk, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to.  There were so many priests in red robes everywhere and oh  _ demons _ , seeing so many robes again was making him want to throw up.  His terrified expression, however, was hidden within the folds of the palanquin—he could only see through a tiny slit and hear his friends struggling.

_ This is my fault this is my fault this is my fault this is my fault— _

_ “Yuya!  Get yourself together!!” _

Yuuri’s voice snapping across his brain made him snap to his senses.  He gasped.  The tremble wouldn’t leave, and the panic was still thick in his throat, but—but Yuuri was right.

_ “We’re not in the temple,” _ Yuto said.   _ “Look—the architecture is wrong.” _

_ “Enchantment scrolls are tied to one of a few target locations,”  _ Yuuri explained in that professorial voice of his.   _ “The temple is made so that it cannot be an enchantment scroll point—to dissuade attackers from sneaking in that way.” _

_ “How did they sneak up on us out there, then?” _ Yuto asked.

_ “That wasn’t an enchantment scroll.   _ That _ was what smokepills wearing off all at once looks like.” _

Yuya shivered.  Oh demons…they had sneaked up on them with the exact same thing that Yuya had used to escape…

_ “But we could still be back in the capital, right?” _ Yugo said, sounding terrified.   _ “What if they hurt Rin?” _

_ “If they touch Ruri or Shun—” _ Yuto started to snarl.

_ “Both of you, shut up!  We’re all useless anyway!” _ Yuuri snapped.   _ “You’re only making Yuya worse!” _

Yuya’s throat was dry and the panic was getting heavy again.  If he could just shout out, scream that he didn’t want this, he knew that maybe at least one of the priests might stop.  But the bracer held his voice trapped, even if the panic didn’t already do that.  He was getting dizzy.  Panic attack, probably.  He…this was too much like what he remembered.  They were going to hurt him again.  He was going to go back to the temple and Roger would beat him and then bleed him again probably for hours and he’d never see the sun again—

_ “Yuya!” _ Yuuri said again.   _ “Focus!” _

_ “Breathe, Yuya,” _ Yuto said, but his voice trembled, and Yuya knew that he was as scared as Yuya was.

_ “We need a plan,”  _ Yugo said.   _ “We need to figure out what to do!” _

First, Yuya needed to know where he was…

“Gloria—Gloria!  Please, sister, you must listen to me!”

Grace—she was right outside Yuya’s palanquin.  His heart hammered in his chest.  What if he just—threw himself out of the palanquin?  If he did that, someone would probably at least ask questions, they might see the bracer he was wearing, he might be able to  _ do _ something—

“You have to listen to me, Gloria, you have to listen to  _ him _ , he’s our  _ god _ , you must  _ listen— _ ”

Yuya heard a soft crack and a yelp.  He flinched.  Gloria must have hit her.

“Don’t make this any worse for yourself,” Gloria hissed, but her voice was thick and tight.  “Do you think I  _ want _ to have to put my own sister on demons-damned trial for treason?”

“That’s why you must  _ listen _ , if not to me, listen to our lord, talk to him—”

“I will not commit sacrilege,” Gloria hissed.

“My my, what a commotion right at the king’s doorstep!  I see that your journey was successful, then?”

The new voice must have caught Gloria off guard, because there was a faint pause.

“It was,” she said tersely. “And will you please keep a reverence required for the presence of your god?”

“Of course, of course.  My mistake.”

Yuya heard someone clearing their throat, just outside the palanquin.  Who was this?  He didn’t remember or recognize the voice.

“We will require another enchantment scroll to return to Eclipsine,” Gloria said.

“It will take some time to put another one together,” the man said, humming.  “Our enchanting staff is quite preoccupied with the rebellions here.”

“Don’t you think that perhaps you are prioritizing the wrong influence, Priest Heartland?”

Heartland—hold on, that sounded familiar.  Yuya didn’t know all of priests, of course, but that one…no, he remembered that one.

_ “High Priest Ambassador of Shizenrei,” _ Yuuri confirmed for him.   _ “We’re in Sentura—the capital of Shizenrei.  I didn’t think an enchantment scroll could take us all the way back to Eclipsine from where we were.  We needed a segway point.” _

“I’ll pull my best enchanter back for the day, you should have the scroll by sundown,” Heartland said.  “In the meantime, perhaps we can deal with some of the rats you’ve brought with you?  Surely you don’t want to drag all of them all the way back to Eclipsine.”

“They will stand trial for their crimes against the Lord of Endings,” Gloria said tersely.  “You can keep your hands to yourself, Heartland.”

“I meant no disrespect, Priestess Tyler,” the man said.  “But I do notice a familiar face among your prisoners.”

Yuya’s heart jumped into his throat.  Oh  _ demons _ .  Reiji.  They were—they were in the capital of Shizenrei, in the palace, probably, and that meant—they had brought Reiji right back to the people who wanted him dead.

“The deposed prince,” Heartland said with a faint laugh.  “I never thought you’d find your way back here.”

“And I never hoped to see your face ever again, either,” Reiji said in a low, angrily trembling voice.

“That?  He’s the prince?” Gloria said, sounding surprised.

“I’m sure his crimes against the Emperor are far more severe and you’ll want to try him accordingly,” Heartland said.  “But, he is something of a symbol to Shizenrei, and you know how the commoners are of late.  Perhaps you might…lend him to me to make an example with?”

“You say ‘lend’ like you intend to do something other than execute him,” Gloria sniffed.  “Very well.  You may put the prince on trial yourself.”

Yuya wanted to scream, but he could not.  He heard his friends crying out in opposition instead, their voices making the same sound that his heart was making.

“It just so happens the king is holding court now.  Let’s have the prince brought in.”

“Take the others to holding cells until the scroll is ready,” Gloria said.  “If it pleases the Emperor, we’ll bring you to safe quarters until we can journey home.”

Yuya’s heart leaped.  No!!  He couldn’t have them all be separated!  He needed to—he needed—

He tried to push through the curtains and hissed with pain.  They were made to hold him in, he realized.  He needed to…oh!

There was a tiny slit in the curtains, where they had moved while the palanquin was moving.  He edged his hand through the crack, wincing as he brushed the curtains.

He heard the voices and scuffling pause as his hand appeared.

“My lord?” Gloria said, uncertainly.

How could Yuya indicate what he wanted just by signaling?  He waved, peeking one eye through the slit so that he could look at what he was beckoning at.  He could see huge doors, probably leading to the king’s court.

He pointed to the doors.

“My lord…you wish to watch the proceedings?” Gloria said.

Yuya waved down once, and that seemed to be taken as confirmation, thank goodness.

“The Lord of Endings, it seems, would watch over the trial,” Gloria said.

“He is, of course, welcome,” Heartland said, in a very simpering voice that made Yuya’s stomach curl.

“Then the others should be moved—”

Yuya turned his hand palm out in a stop gesture.  Gloria hesitated.

“You...want them present as well?”

He gave them another downwards wave.  His sleeve was mostly preventing him from touching the curtains, but it still hurt.

Yuya heard some whispering, and then Gloria hissed at someone to step back, she was in charge here.  Yuya’s heart thumped in his chest.  There were Inner Priests here who surely knew that he was bluffing, that he was just trying to escape, would they do something to stop him?

Gloria seemed to be shutting them down—maybe there was only so much they could do in plain sight.  Heart thumping he hoped—hoped that Gloria would listen—

“I believe our lord wishes his captors to witness what awaits them,” Gloria said.  “Very well, have them all brought in to watch the trial.”

Yuya let out a single gust of relief, and dragged his hand back into the curtain. There was a nasty burn mark pulsing on his wrist, but it was already fading.  Okay.  He had kept everyone together…now he had to figure out how to get out of here, and get everyone free…

His palanquin shuddered as it was lifted up again, and they were moved into the next room.  He heard the huge doors swinging wide open with a heavy creak.  Voices became audible, although he couldn’t quite parse the words.  There were a few shouts and angry hisses, and then everything fell silent at the sound of the shuffling feet entering the room.

“Presenting the Lord of Endings, Inheritor of the Apocalypse and Destroyer of Worlds, the Emperor of Zarkania.”

The room immediately began to buzz—not with words, as everyone remained silent, but with thoughts.  Yuya could only get glimpses of fright, with the more clear snaps of anger,  _ what he is he doing here? _  His head spun with it, he was already completely anxiety-ridden, and now he was starting to hear the thoughts of a few people who seemed to know that he was a fake, and they were angry at their current plans being interrupted.

His palanquin shuddered to a stop, and he felt the supports being unlocked and set up so that it would be able to sit in the very center of the court.  The thoughts swirled around him, and if the curtains hadn’t been something that hurt him, he would have been glad of them—at least he didn’t have to feel everyone’s eyes on him.

“Presenting as well our lord’s servant, Second High Priestess of the Outer Circle, Gloria Tyler.”

This got just a handful of whispers, and Yuya could hear Gloria’s mind tensing with irritation.  She didn’t want to be here; she didn’t like the spotlight.  And he thought…she was thinking of Grace, too, her anger and hurt towards her sister, but also her fear…Grace could die once they got back to the temple, executed for trying to help Yuya.  And it was hurting Gloria to think about.

If he could just get close enough to  _ talk _ to her…

“His Majesty Regent of Shizenrei welcomes you, my lord,” Heartland continued, and his voice was so gross to listen to that Yuya’s stomach twisted.

He heard Reiji’s thoughts suddenly spike, so loud for a moment that they drowned out the entire room.

_ I’LL KILL HIM I’LL KILL HIM— _

Yuya flinched.  What—what was riling Reiji up?  He leaned down, trying to peer through the crack in the curtains, squinting.

At the far end of the court, perched on a throne much too big for him, was a little boy.  He was younger than Yuya, probably by quite a few years, and he looked small and sallow.  His cheeks were hollow and his face pale, huge eyes staring down at his knees rather than looking up at the court.  He had a crown on his head that was too big for him, his long purple hair falling around his shoulders, and his hands hung loosely to a scepter.

_ “That must be Reiji’s little brother, Reira,” _ Yuto said.   _ “Remember?  He said his brother had been kidnapped.” _

_ “They’re using him,”  _ Yuuri said.   _ “A child is easy to make into a puppet.” _

Yuya’s heart clenched as he heard Reiji’s angry thoughts continue to swirl.  Through the crack in the curtains, he saw Reiji himself, then, being dragged forward and forced to his knees, head yanked back by his hair to force him to look up at Reira.

Even through the tiny crack in the curtains, Yuya could see Reira’s face go even whiter.  His lips parted ever so slightly, and his eyes widened.  Yuya saw his hands flex slightly against the scepter, but it was almost like he was frozen in ice, and all he could do was squirm slightly.  Yuya felt his heart turning to ice.  He recognized those kinds of movements…

_ “Guys,” _ he whispered to the others.  They had already figured it out too.

_ “He’s been confined with blood runes,” _ Yuto said, voice shaking.

_ “He’s a kid!  A literal kid!” _ Yugo said, horrified.   _ “W-we can handle it because we can’t die, b-but—” _

_ “Keeping a child that young alive while applying blood runes is no easy task,”  _ Yuuri said, and even his voice was cracking—though with horror or rage, Yuya couldn’t tell.   _ “Reira must have been quite the fighter to warrant them using those…” _

Heartland appeared then, or, the person that Yuya assumed must be Heartland.  Yuuri confirmed—he had met the man back when he was the Demon Prince.  Yuya’s skin crawled.  He was a disgusting person to look at, with a too wide smile and sickly green hair, glasses perched before too wide, too cheerful eyes.  He clasped his hands together as he ascended the steps to stand next to Reira, and Yuya did not miss at all the tiny flinch that Reira gave.  Oh demons…how many years had Reiji been banished, unable to protect Reira from that man?  Yuya could hear Reiji’s thoughts going in much the same directions, only with more and more increasingly creative ways that Reiji was going to murder Heartland.

“Reiji Akaba,” Heartland said. “You have broken your sentencing of banishment.  As you were well aware, the punishment for that is death.”

“Don’t play stupid, Heartland,” Reiji said, his voice a low hiss.  “You’re simply surprised to see me here in the first place.”

Heartland laughed softly.

“I wondered how resourceful you could get, of course,” he said.  “But, for the sake of this trial, perhaps you could remain silent?”

Yuya’s skin crawled as Heartland leaned very pointedly towards Reira, causing Reira to stiffen.  The message was clear—make this difficult, and Reira would be the one to suffer for it.  Yuya felt sick; he could heart Heartland’s thoughts too, and they were full of ways to punish Reira later.

_ “He’s like us,” _ Yuya thought, hugging himself to try and press away the sickness.   _ “They’re hurting him and using him just like us.” _

_ “I’ll fucking kill him,” _ Yugo snarled.

Yuya wished he could scream.  Wished he could just let his voice rip out over the court and tell them the truth, that he didn’t want this, that this was wrong, let Reira and Reiji and everyone go!

He needed…he needed a way to get out of here—he needed a  _ miracle _ —

The curtains in front of him shifted, as though his palanquin had moved slightly.  Hm?  What was…

He let out a thin  _ hrrk _ and blood immediately welled into his mouth.  He saw the spear sticking through his heart, first, and  _ then _ he felt it.  He couldn’t even scream, his bracer sucked all the sound out of him, even as the spear dug all the way through him and he arched, gasping with blood trickling from his lips.

“This is for Fubuki,” the woman hissed into his ear.

_ H-how…how did I not—hear her— _

_ Now _ he could hear her thoughts of anger and rage flowing through him, but seconds ago, he hadn’t heard a thing—he hadn’t even heard the palanquin move or shift as she had climbed inside behind him.  How had no one seen her getting inside? The room was full of people!

Fuck…this wasn’t going to kill him, but it  _ hurt _ , and outside, he could hear Heartland still jabbering away, heard the words “execution,” Reiji was going to die if he didn’t do something—

A-ah.

His eyes dropped to the spear blade sticking out of his chest.  Black, and expertly carved with runes that glowed very slightly…it was a tier three demon weapon.

T-that could work.

He heard the woman gasp as he wrapped his hands around the spear.  He tugged on it somewhat uselessly, but she was still holding onto it from the other side.

Briefly whiting out from the pain, Yuya gripped the spear shaft and snapped it off.

He lurched himself forward then so that he would slide off the remaining bit of spear.   He didn’t stop to think about what he was doing, he just did it.  He was so dizzy from the blood loss that it made his hands clumsy.  He stabbed the spear head through the bracer on his wrist, accidentally stabbing his wrist with it—but it got the bracer off, and the sound in his voice rushed back.  He couldn’t make a sound yet from the pain, but he could do something—

Outside, he heard a scream.  And then shouts, and a roar of motion, the crowd spiking with anger and fighting thoughts and fear for their own lives.

_ “GRACE!” _ Gloria screamed, somewhere in between anger and fear.

Yuya staggered forward, the spearhead still in hand.  He couldn’t think about the priestess behind him that wanted him dead and would probably try to kill him again.  He slashed at the curtains with the spear, and the slice melted neatly away from the demon weapon’s touch, freshly renewed with power from his own blood.

The curtains dropped, and immediately, he overcompensated, sending himself tumbling to the marble floor.  The spear spun out of his hand.  He tried to get up, but the pain was too much, and his hands were slipping on his own blood.

He lifted his head instead, squinting through the blur of pain.  He could see Grace on the dais near Reira, who was still stuck frozen to his throne by the runes.  Grace’s face was splattered with blood as she angrily yanked her spear out of Heartland’s chest—the man was already dead, his body sprawled out down the stairs.  A priest surged towards her and she lifted her spear to meet the attack.

“Oh, goddess, Yuya!”

Yuzu skidded into his blood as she fell to the ground beside him, hands on his back.

“Oh fucking goddess,” she swore.  “What  _ happened _ ??  Did one of the priests hurt you?  What was happening in there?

Yuya could barely talk, his lungs were still mending and his blood was still receding from his throat.  He could only let out a thin gurgle.  Yuzu swore and ducked her head.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should have done something else, but those chains took my power away, I’m sorry Yuya, it’s okay, I’ll protect you now!”

_ I’m fine _ , Yuya tried to say.   _ I’m fine. _

But he still couldn’t talk, and his head was dizzy and buzzing with the horrible surge and scream of out loud shouts and cries and mental screams of destruction.  He heard metal clanging all around the room, heard the scream of birds and felt a huge gust of wind.  They were…everyone was fighting…there was going to be blood and death everywhere…

Yuya managed to lift his head.  He saw Reiji, his scarf lost, twisting and spinning with a stolen demon weapon, fighting his hardest to get to the still frozen Reira.

Reira just sat there, unable to move, his mouth hanging open, eyes wide with terror that not even the runes could dampen.

_ He’s too young to have to see this _ , Yuya thought.

His mind flashed to days he woke up in a cell with blood all over his hands.  The executions in the square for anyone who dared to go against the laws his priests had set.  The bodies scattered everywhere from every failed revolt.

_ I don’t…I don’t want this _ .

His hands curled up into the ground, body shuddering. 

_ I don’t want this. _

He forced himself to his hands and knees.  Yuzu’s hands curled into the fabric of his shirt, babbling something about how he needed to stay down and rest. 

_ I don’t… _

Images that weren’t even his own thoughts swirled through his head, and he couldn’t tell where they were coming from.  Battlefields that he had never seen, the bodies thrown about and ruined, blood staining the swords of the victors, hollow eyes of people destroyed by war who hid in the alleys of slums.

_ …WANT THIS. _

The pain seemed to vanish.  He was staggering to his feet with relative ease, Yuzu still clinging to him, supporting him under one arm.  His head felt perfectly quiet and clear, he couldn’t hear any of the angry thoughts anywhere around him.

_ “STOP!” _

He didn’t know where the sound came from.  His voice rang with such force and clarity that the entire room vibrated.

And somehow, against all odds, the entire room stopped.

Yuya heaved in heavy gulps of air.  The entire room’s eyes were on him, as though he had them under some kind of spell.  Weapons were frozen in midstrike, faces were pale, muscles trembled.  Yuya’s head pulsed.

“Yuya,” Yuzu whispered. “You’re…you’re glowing.”

Yuya blinked.  He raised one hand up, the one that Yuzu wasn’t holding up.

And sure enough, beneath his skin, there was a soft, golden glow.

 


	47. FORTY-SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Dependent Weakling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK67sHPC4mM)

Yuzu helped Yuya up the steps towards the throne.  The little boy king still hadn’t moved since they had arrived, and she wondered if he was still scared.  His eyes were wide and frightened as they approached, but Yuya just smiled.

“It’s okay,” he said.  “It’s okay.”

He was still glowing, ever so slightly, and Yuzu thought that must be why the room still remained in silent awe.  There was blood all over his ripped up tunic, but whatever had wounded him was pretty much healed by now.

“You’re Reira, right?” Yuya said.  “I’m Yuya.  Reiji’s told me about you.”

The boy, Reira, startled slightly.  He seemed to try to move, but it was like something was holding him still.

“It’s okay,” Yuya said.  “Just a second.”

He squeezed Yuzu’s arm, and then released her, swaying slightly.  He leaned towards Reira, slowly, his hands out.  Reira trembled very slightly, but when Yuya’s glowing hands rested briefly on his shoulders, the boy’s eyes fluttered shut.  He let out a huge, relieving sigh.

And then his eyes opened, and he slumped forward into Yuya’s hands.  The scepter clattered out of his fingers and onto the floor, crown slipping down over his eyes.

“Sh, it’s okay, it makes you dizzy for a bit after the runes fade,” Yuya said.  “Just sit still for a second.  Let it pass.”

Reira immediately started crying.  He just fell against Yuya, fingers curling into the remains of his shirt.  Yuya held on to him soothingly, stroking his hair.  Yuzu wasn’t exactly sure what had just happened, but she felt like crying all of a sudden too.  All of the events of the day were suddenly catching up to her, and she was thinking about the dead body on the stairs that they had passed, and how bloody Yuya had been when he had fallen out of the palanquin, how she thought she had been about to see Reiji die—

There was a soft scuffle, then, and Yuzu looked up with a start, her hands raising up defensively.

But it was only Reiji, his hair mussed and glasses crooked.  Yuya released Reira so that Reira could see Reiji, and the boy immediately scrambled forward, falling into Reiji’s arms.  The crown fell off of his head as he moved, clinking to the ground.  The pair of them fell to their knees on the stairs.  Reiji pressed his face against the top of Reira’s hair, hugging him tightly and mumbling apologies and reassurances as Reira simply cried.

Yuzu saw Yuya sway then out of the corner of her eye, and she spun to catch him.  The glow under his skin was fading, and he looked dazed now.

“What was that?” she said.

“I dunno,” Yuya mumbled.  “I just…knew I could do it.  I knew I could remove his blood runes.”

Oh—blood runes.  That made sense why Reira had been acting so strangely, then.

Finally, the silence of the room was broken by a soft cough.  Yuzu and Yuya both looked up.  The sound had come from Gloria, who slowly sank to one knee, looking uncertain.

“My lord,” she said.  “Far be it for your servant to question you, but…”

“It’s all right,” Yuya said.  He coughed slightly. “I—I’m sure everyone’s confused.”

He struggled to stay upright.  Yuzu gripped him under one arm to help him, as Yuya tried to stand tall.  He swallowed.

“My name is Yuya,” he said.  “And I am the Demon Emperor of Zarkania.”

He coughed again—it seemed to be taking him more slowly to heal once more, but the major wounds were gone.

“That’s what all of you know,” he said. “Now let me tell you something that only  _ some _ of you know.”

His voice got a little stronger as he continued.

“For years, I’ve been a prisoner of my own priests.  For years, I’ve been tortured for my blood to create the weapons you’re all holding.  For  _ years _ , I’ve had my voice stripped from me, nothing but a tool for those with power to wield against those without it.”

Yuya trembled slightly, and Yuzu squeezed his hand.  She couldn’t imagine how scared he must be.  He was facing people who had literally tortured him for years, and he couldn’t know how they would react.

“I’m not silent anymore,” Yuya said, and he seemed to have to fight back tears.  “I won’t be.”

He pointed down at Reiji and Reira.

“Reiji Akaba is the rightful king of Shizenrei,” he said.  “I did not ask for the invasion of his home and I will not support the decision.”

His jaw tightened.

“I am the Emperor of Zarkania,” he said.  “And if you’re one of the ones who truly believes that, then I’m asking you to stand with me and listen to me.”

The room rang with his words long after he had finished speaking.  Even Yuzu felt her heart jumping a bit from that—she wondered what the priests were feeling right now, if they hadn’t known the truth already.

Grace’s voice rang out first, high and clear.

“We are our god’s servants,” she cried.  “Our lord’s wish is always our command.”

Immediately, a low roar of approval met her cry, and all around the room, people began to drop to their knees, weapons hitting the ground.  Yuzu felt Yuya relax so quickly that it was almost as though he were going to melt right into her arms.

“Did that work?” he mumbled, sounding dazed.

Her heart leaped, and she almost giggled from the relief.

“I think it did,” she said.  “Goddess, Yuya, I think it did!”

Yuya was too dizzy to really do much else, so Yuzu gripped him as hard as she could.  Her eyes flickered out over the crowd.  She saw the others, all scattered around the room from where their fights had taken them.  Crow was staring at them with literal awe, and Gongenzaka had a humongous grin over his face.  Shun was on one knee tending to a dizzy looking Tsukikage, and Ruri hovered nearby, hands clasped in front of her with a look of utter relief over her face.  Rin and Selena shared a fist bump between each other without looking at each other.  Sawatari looked so excited that he was about to burst, and Yuzu could just imagine all the songs he was going to be coming up with after this.

And then she saw—in the back of the room, there were some priests and court members who were not kneeling.

She yanked Yuya out of the way just before the crack of lightning hit him.  Her foot slipped on the edge of the stairs and she went down, dragging Yuya with her.  Reiji shot to his feet and shoved Reira behind him, grabbing up the fallen spear.

Yuzu rolled up to a kneeling position.  Her head buzzed—she had a few seeds left scattered in her tunic, and all she had to do was call to them.  The thorns grew up and around her arms and down to her wrists until they lengthened into vine whips.  How many were there?

The room immediately roared, as priests grabbed their weapons back up and court members fled.

“Fall back!” Gloria shouted over the commotion.  “Fall back by the throne, we must defend the Emperor!”

“If any among you are still Shize, take up your arms again!” Reiji shouted next.  “Take up arms, and take back your country!”

The room was a roar of motion, and Yuzu had to squint—she couldn’t tell who the enemies were!

“Yuya, stay here,” she said.

“You can’t go out in that!” Yuya said.

“You did your part!” she said, whirling to look at him.  “You did your part, Yuya—now let me do mine!”

Yuya stared at her with wide, frightened eyes for a few moments.  Then he nodded, face white.

“Be careful,” he said.

Yuzu hopped down one of the stairs and almost ran into Grace.

“Where is His Majesty?” Grace said.

“Right behind me, stay close to him!” Yuzu said.

Grace nodded, darting up the stairs towards Yuya.  Yuzu paused only long enough to make sure that Grace was helping Yuya to his feet and ushering him up behind the throne to safety before she dove into the fight.

It was impossible to tell who her enemies were—priests fought priests, court fought the court, there was no single uniform to the enemy or the ally.  She caught a glimpse of Gloria, whirling with metal surging around her like steel snow against no less than five foes.  Despite the twist in her stomach remembering how roughly the woman had handled her, Yuzu figured that they were currently on the same side.  She sent one of her whips towards one of Gloria’s opponents sneaking up from behind, tripping them by the ankle.  Her stomach twisted horribly as Gloria spun and drove her metal down through the fallen body.  For a brief moment, Gloria’s eyes met Yuzu’s.

Gloria gave her the briefest nod, and then returned to her fight.

Yuzu tried not to throw up at the bloody body on the floor.  Killing—killing wasn’t something she was ready to do.  But she might have to if she wanted to survive…if she wanted everyone else to survive.

Goddess, but did she actually have it in her to kill…?  She had trained for years to kill the Emperor, but that had been a distant, faraway idea.

Now, war was all around her, and it was no longer distant.

She whipped the demon weapon out of the hands of someone who went after her.  Was this an enemy or a confused ally?  She caught the glimpse of darkness in their eyes, the snarl on their lips, and she thought  _ probably not confused _ .

She grabbed her stolen sword by the hilt and flipped it up to match her opponent’s next strike from their second sword. The blades sparked as they slid down each other, and she bounced off the blade to spin around, faster than they could respond.  Her sword made a swipe for their knee, and she hit, but just a graze.  Not enough to stop them from flipping around and driving their own sword for her throat.

The desire to survive took over.  Her blade cut across her attacker’s wrist and blood sprayed from the wound.  They shrieked and dropped the weapon.  It was like sparring with Masumi, but faster, more dangerous, and there was no room for error.  She went into one of her practiced combinations, hoping muscle memory would take over—

Her blade hesitated just a little too much before entering the attacker’s heart.  They batted her blade aside and surged forward, grabbing her by the wrist and trying to yank the sword back.  For just the barest moment, Yuzu whited out with panic.

And then she was staggering down to one knee, her attacker screaming as a falcon clawed for their eyes, and she could only sit there and tremble while she distantly heard Ruri shouting to her, asking if she was all right.

Yuzu just nodded, swallowed down her bile, and stood shakily again.

_ I’m not going to be able to do it. _

_ I don’t think I have it in me to kill. _

 


	48. FORTY-EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Believe in Tomorrow's Victory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDN12oeMgWk)

“It’s not that we’re not incredibly happy to see you returned, Your Highness,” the man said, brow furrowing under his thick brown bangs. “Ecstatic, in fact. It’s just…”

The man’s eyes slid to the end of the table where Yuya was sitting, and Yuya clasped his hands in his lap, trying not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. Gloria started to stand up, but he held a hand out to her to calm her down. They were so jumpy about him…he might feel touched if he didn’t feel really twisty in his stomach right now.

They sat in a small, well-lit room, with a long table that took up most of the space. Huge windows let in copious amounts of light. All Yuya really wanted to do was crawl out through one of those windows, towards the breeze and birdsong that filtered in from the cracked open panes. He could see a fair bit of the city from here, and it was beautiful. All white and cream, spiraling marble with twisting carved designs up the spires and towers, it was so unlike the cityscape he had experienced in Eclipsine, and he wanted to go out and walk around, explore a little bit.

He probably wouldn’t be able to, though, considering a lot of people knew who he was, now.

Reiji fixed his glasses, pressing his lips together. The table was long, but many of the seats were empty. Yuya sat at one end, with Grace and Gloria on either side of him, as the two highest ranking priestesses currently in Shizenrei since Heartland’s death. Reiji sat at the exact opposite end. He hadn’t had too much time to settle in between the battle in the court and this meeting now, so his hair was still just barely combed, one lens of his glasses cracked. He had at least been able to wipe the blood mostly from his face, but there was still some across his shirt. Yuya’s heart sank. After all his efforts, there had still been casualties. The Inner Priest plants and courtroom spies had not been many in number and had been easily overpowered, but there were still losses on Reiji’s side.

Reiji had two people on one side of him and three on the other. One was the dark-haired man with the swooping bangs that had been introduced as Marco, the one who was giving Yuya a nervous look now. Beside Marco was a boy only a few years older than Yuya, probably around Reiji’s age or younger, who had been introduced as Yuu Sakuragi.

Across from those two was a man with his black hair slicked back, called Nakajima, and two kids who looked even younger than Yuya, one a girl with short lavender hair and large glasses covering a nervous expression, and the other a boy slightly taller than her with spiky red hair. According to Reiji’s introductions, they were Sayaka Sasayama and Allen Kozuki.

All of the people here were all that remained of the families who had been a part of Reiji’s father’s council. The rest were either dead, still in hiding, or defected to Zarkania.

Although technically, Reira was the sitting king, he was not present. Reiji had insisted he go immediately with the others to make sure that he was doing all right. Reira was a little jumpy, but since Yuya had removed his blood runes and Yuzu had been right there at the time, he seemed willing to trust Yuzu tentatively.

Yuya kind of wished Yuzu was here, instead. Or at least someone else from his group…

“I understand your concerns, Lord Marco,” Reiji said. “But, as I have been traveling with Emperor Yuya for several weeks now, I must be frank and say your concerns are unfounded.”

Marco didn’t look convinced, throwing Yuya another uncertain glance.

“Do you not trust Prince Reiji?” Nakajima said, eyes narrowing.

“It’s not a matter of not trusting the prince,” Marco said.

“You don’t trust the Emperor?” Gloria said.

Marco frowned.

“Do I have a good reason to?”

Grace and Gloria almost shot to their feet again, but Yuya quickly put both hands up to calm them down.

“It’s all right,” he said. “He’s right.”

“We should at least be…listening, right?” Sakuragi said. He tried to glance at Yuya, but looked sick and looked at his knees instead. Yuya’s heart clenched.

“ _ I’ll bet his parents are dead because of the priests,” _ Yuuri said.  _ “The other two kids too. Otherwise they wouldn’t be sitting here for their houses.” _

“ _ Don’t say things like that to Yuya,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ What? You mean don’t say the truth?” _

Yuya tried to tune them out.

“Zarkania hasn’t done anything to make you want to trust any relations with the country,” he said. “Especially with me. I know what kind of stories are told about me.”

He resisted the urge to run a nervous hand through his hair. He wasn’t…he wasn’t cut out for this. He felt like he was going to fall to pieces in a minute, what with all the eyes on him. At least no one was imagining ways to hurt him. Yet, anyway.

“Zarkania has hurt me too,” he said. “And I’ve been powerless to stop it. That’s why I want to do what I can to fix it.”

Marco hummed softly, but he didn’t seem entirely unconvinced.

“And how do you propose to do that?” he said. “From what I heard of the…skirmish this morning, you’re not much of an Emperor at all.”

“My lord, I will not hear him speak of you this way for much longer,” Gloria said through tight teeth.

“Please,” Yuya said. “I understand, but please, just calm down…everyone’s nervous.”

It was taking everything Yuya had just to sit upright, instead of gripping his head and curling up under the table to have a breakdown. He didn’t like being here, he didn’t like anything about this, and he just wanted to sit down and cry.

But…but if he could contribute to keeping things as peaceful as possible…then it was worth it. He didn’t want to see anymore pointless bloodshed.

“I understand that the tensions are really high,” he said. “And my being here isn’t exactly what you all want to see. But what I want is the same thing as you—I want Shizenrei to be back under the control of the Akaba family.”

He tried not to squirm in his seat.

“ _ Don’t let them see that you’re nervous,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ I know that,” _ Yuya hissed back.

Reiji nodded.

“Our intentions are the same,” Reiji said. “Understand me on this much, all of you: I understand your fears and uncertainties. Zarkania’s coup was…devastating.”

His lips tightened briefly, and Yuya felt sick. Reiji’s father was dead, and the mostly empty table and too young lords indicated still more families that were ruined and dead from Yuya’s kingdom’s attack.

“But Emperor Yuya and I have been traveling for some time together now, and he has saved my life on multiple occasions,” Reiji said. “I have no reason to distrust him—and in fact, the very nature of this scenario is far too convoluted to be any sort of plan on the part of Zarkania. They already had power here. There would be no reason to play a game so complex.”

Marco frowned, but he nodded slowly. It seemed to convince him. Yuya let out a thin sigh of relief.

“So what we must discuss now is the terms of Shizenrei and Zarkania’s agreement,” Reiji said. “My coronation will take place tomorrow, but the country is not yet free of priests who do not know what has occurred.”

“If I talk to them, I know some of them will listen,” Yuya said.

Reiji nodded.

“Regardless of how your priests have used you, many of them will still be loyal, and you are a powerful figure,” he said. “If you will be amenable to it, Emperor Yuya, I would ask that you would attend the coronation and speak to them.”

Yuya nodded. It made his stomach twist horribly to think about being forced in front of such a crowd again, but he could do it—as long as Yuzu and the others were allowed to be there this time. Reiji referring to him as “Emperor Yuya” was getting under his skin and making him feel sick, too, but he knew it was a necessary political gesture for the sake everyone watching. Besides…if Grace or Gloria heard Reiji calling him more familiarly than that he might not be able to control them. Their religious fervor was exhausting.

Reiji continued.

“There are three major issues that we'd like to address first: first, the border. Zarkania has annexed several large chunks that were originally Shizenrei territory.”

Yuya nodded—he didn’t know how to deal with any of this, he just wanted to make sure that Shizenrei got back to what it was supposed to be, and he pulled Zarkania out of the country. Luckily, Yuuri seemed to know a lot of what to say.

“ _ Tell them that once you’ve dealt with the corruption in the priesthood, you’ll put together a delegation to work with a Shizenrei delegation to reassign border lines,” _ Yuuri said.

Yuya stumbled a bit over the words, but he repeated it. Reiji’s lips quirked slightly, and Yuya wondered if he knew that Yuuri was feeding him what to say. Regardless, he seemed pleased with the response.

“Second, many large departments of the government have been taken over and are still controlled by Zarkanian priests,” Nakajima said, looking at the hastily made agenda.

“I’ll have them removed, and those who committed any crimes against Shizenrei or its people will be made to answer for it appropriately,” Yuya parroted from Yuuri.

“A-and then there’s the matter of the temple,” the younger girl, Sayaka said. She sounded even more nervous than he felt, and for some reason that made him feel better.  There was some strange solidarity in knowing he wasn’t the only one out of his element. “It was almost entirely destroyed by Zarkania priests…”

“We’ll provide necessary compensation to have it rebuilt,” Yuya said.

Gloria and Grace looked at him quickly.

“What?” he asked them. “You’re part of my delegation, you can talk with me.”

“Far be it from me to question you, my lord,” Grace said, looking a little uncomfortable. “But...their temple is to the goddess...your enemy.”

Yuya's eyes flickered down to his knees, and he felt the entire room suddenly grow tense and cold. His stomach twisted briefly—and then it relaxed. He lifted his eyes back to the room, and found Reiji's eyes on him. He wondered if Reiji already knew what he was going to say.

“She's not,” he said. “I don't think she is.”

He straightened his shoulders.

“Even I don't know what happened all those thousands of years ago, when the goddess was said to have killed the demon—was said to have killed me,” he said. “I don't know what events led to that event, and I don't know why.”

He looked at the table briefly before looking up at the rest of them.

“I've been so many places in just a short time,” he said. “I've seen so many things, and met so many people. Grace, Gloria...the two of you, and a lot of others, get some kind of hope from me. It's the same for the people that believe in the goddess—they have hope in her.”

He put his hands on the table, and for the first time during this meeting, he felt as though everyone was actually, truly listening to him. It was like the entire room was holding its breath. Even the boys in his head were quiet, listening to him.

“I've had my own hope taken from me for most of my life,” he said. “And now that I've seen the way the world is, I can't take that hope away from anyone else.”

He smiled wryly down at his own hands.

“I don't know what happened between the goddess and the demon all those years ago,” he said. “But that time isn't now, and we don't live in the past. I believe in the future—I believe in a future where the goddess and the demon don't have to be enemies.”

The room was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. All of the conviction Yuya had felt in the moment of saying what he was saying drained out of him, then, and he felt nervous and uncertain again, almost afraid to hold the gazes of the people there.

It was the younger boy, Allen, who broke the silence.

“That sounds pretty good to me,” he said. “I mean—I like the idea that we don't have to be fighting anymore.”

“It sounds very nice, yes,” Marco said, frowning. “But the way it sounds doesn't mean it can happen. I hate to bring this up again, Emperor Yuya, but as has been implied, you don't necessarily have the power that the title of Emperor should be conveying to you. How can you promise any of the things that you've stated, without the actual power of your empire behind you?”

Yuya's lips tightened, and he nodded.

“The Empire will adhere to the wishes of its Emperor,” Grace said, sounding offended.

“But are you certain?” Reiji said. “Please do not take this as offense, Priestess Tyler. I'm worried because of what I saw during the coup yesterday. Priests of your own order attempted to physically kidnap your Emperor, presumably to imprison him once again.”

“The question isn't necessarily your intentions, it's the intentions of the people who have used you,” Nakajima said. “And whether or not they will listen to you.  Who holds the real power of Zarkania is...paramount.”

Yuya nodded. He had been thinking about that for a long time, and Yuuri had been discussing options with him. He sucked in a thin breath. Demons...Grace and Gloria weren't going to like what came out of his mouth next.

“As for that,” he said. “I thought...perhaps I could offer myself as a political prisoner.”

Gloria stood up so quickly that her chair actually fell over.

“My  _ lord _ ,” she said, sounding mortified. “Could you have not discussed such a thing with us beforehand—”

“I trust you, Reiji,” Yuya said, ignoring her and focusing on him. “Roger still needs me. He can't make his weapons without me, and by now, unless they've been heavily conserving their weapons, they're going to be running out of blood.”

He sucked in another breath.

“Let them know that you have me. Roger won't like it, but it will draw him out. He has no choice. If he wants to keep his power, he needs me.”

Yuto and Yugo had hated this idea.  _ “It'll make us their pawns,” _ Yugo complained.  _ “We'll be at the mercy of others again,” _ Yuto said, voice trembling.  _ “It'll be Zarkania all over again.” _

“ _ Reiji won't hurt us,” _ Yuya had told them.  _ “I trust Reiji. Don't you?” _

The room fell briefly into a stunned silence. Reiji's lips quirked slightly again, and he briefly removed his glasses to clean them on the edge of his scarf.

“You're giving us a lot of ground here,” he said. “Am I to believe you aren't going to try to negotiate anything out of this for your side?”

Yuya shook his head. Yuuri had talked to him about this too.

“I'm currently in your territory anyway,” Yuya said. “So I don't have the most room to negotiate. But I do have a couple of requests.”

He listed them off on his fingers.

“First, I know there are probably a lot of Zarkanian immigrants in your country. As long as they're obeying the laws of Shizenrei, I'd like to ask them to be able to stay. Second, I want to be certain that after my temple's had its major corruption removed, you won't attempt to put any sanctions on it.”

He might not like the religion that surrounded him, but...but there were people like Grace, and Gloria, people who actually believed in him, who took hope from him. He absolutely didn't want that to be taken away.

“And finally, I'm hoping that, once we have more even footing, we'll be able to discuss an equal treaty between our two countries.”

Reiji was actually just about smiling now. He looked almost impressed. His eyes glanced briefly around the room.

“I think we can manage that,” he said. “This is simply a meeting for getting our bearings, so we won't have anything to write up or sign, yet, but I think that's a productive enough meeting for the time being. Do I have agreement from the lords?”

It was quiet for a moment, and then a soft “ayes” rose up one at a time from the others around the table.

“Very good,” Reiji said, tapping his papers together. “Once the very unnecessary to-do of the coronation is over, we'll be able to focus on stabilizing governmental departments and making contact with Zarkania. I'm hoping I can rely on the cooperation of your current retinue in reaching the temple.”

Yuya glanced at Grace and Gloria. Neither of them looked very happy, but they both nodded when he looked at him.

“If my lord commands it, I will assist,” Grace said, rising from her chair.

Gloria simply huffed. Yuya tried not to smile too much, but he was just really grateful that this whole thing was over for now.

“Emperor Yuya, as you will be currently within our custody, I'll have someone come here to take you to suitable quarters,” Reiji said. “Your priestesses are welcome to accompany you.”

Yuya nodded, letting out a breath of relief. Reiji stood, and then Yuya did. They both did a little half bow towards each other. Geez...this was exhausting. Was he going to have to do a lot of stuff like this now that he was...actually acting like an Emperor? He was already exhausted.

At least today was over, he thought, as he, Grace, and Gloria were met by a servant to lead them through the Shizenrei palace. He could sleep for days right now...

 


	49. FORTY-NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Scaena Felix](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPR_te_ODPQ)

“Yuya!!”

Yuya's head jumped up as the door flew open, and Yuzu hurtled across the room to hug him. He almost fell out of his chair with an oof, but they managed to catch themselves. He laughed a little before wrapping his arms around Yuzu back.

“You'd think we hadn't seen each other for a few weeks,” he said, sounding embarrassed.

“S-sorry,” Yuzu said. She quickly released him, her eyes automatically darting over his face to make sure he wasn't hurt or anything. “How are you holding up?”

Well, at least this was a far, far cry from his “accommodations” at Rayglen. Yuya might technically be a political prisoner, but even if Reiji hadn't been friends with him already, he wasn't a monster. This room was bigger than about five of the dorm rooms back at Rayglen put together, all in soft creams, whites, and dark greens, with soft velvet curtains around a large, open window that lead to a balcony. The bed was probably big enough to fit three of Yuya, and the room was more richly furnished than anything Yuzu had seen before. 

She herself was staying in a room downstairs near the others. It was weird to not have to share a room with someone, but hers was still significantly smaller than Yuya's. It made sense, of course...he was suddenly an Emperor to everyone else and not just a tool, and Reiji was treating him like one, prisoner or no.

“I'm hanging in there,” he said, wincing slightly. “That meeting really took it out of me...”

“I'm sorry they wouldn't let me come with you,” she said, squeezing his shoulders. “They didn't harass you at all, did they?”

“Do you think Reiji would let them?”

“I mean, no, but...he hasn't been here for a few years.”

Yuya nodded. He looked a little pale, as always, but there was more life to his eyes than she remembered before. He must be eating much better now.

“The coronation is tomorrow?” she said.

Yuya nodded.

“I'm supposed to stay in this room until then,” he said. “And then I'll come back here until we can get contact with Zarkania and see what we can do about negotiations...”

Yuzu frowned. Didn't that just mean he was locked up again...? Was he going to keep being forced to bounce from prison to prison? Just because this room was a lot nicer and bigger, and had a window, didn't mean he wasn't still locked up. She didn't want to bring it up, though—likely, Yuya was already thinking about it.

And then there was the matter of...

“What about the eclipse?” she said.

The light immediately faded out of Yuya's eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I mean...we still have almost five months...and I know Reiji's thinking about it too. We should have plenty of time to do all of this and then get back to Sanctuary, right?”

Yuzu wasn't so sure. She had looked over the maps over and over again, and she knew that it was going to take almost a month and a half just to get to the mountains in the first place, much less go searching for a place that they weren't even sure existed.

“How are the others?” he said, sitting up in his chair—clearly changing the subject. “I haven't gotten to see anyone since the fight...”

“Everyone's hanging in there,” Yuzu said. She didn't like changing the subject but she knew that it was for the best. She didn't want to upset Yuya—he was probably thinking about it way more than she was. “Crow got a really nasty concussion, so he's in the infirmary right now. And Gongenzaka broke a few ribs, but everyone's all right besides.”

She tapped a finger to her chin, thinking.

“Shun said that he was going to attend a few of Reiji's meetings, as an ambassador of Corkoro. He wants to make sure that anything going on between Shizenrei and Zarkania goes as smoothly as possible.  Corkoro is officially a neutral country, so he’s being a mediator.”

“That's great,” Yuya said, sounding relieved. “So Corkoro will be on our side, too.”

Yuzu nodded.

“Sawatari won't leave his room, he says he's busy composing,” she said, laughing slightly. “And Tsukikage is following Reiji around, like usual.”

“What about the girls?”

“Oh, they're—”

“Couldn't you have waited for  _ two seconds _ , Yuzu? Goddess!”

The door flew open behind her, and Yuzu felt her cheeks flushing. She turned around just in time for Rin to barrel past her and envelop Yuya in a huge, smothering hug. Yuya's arms flailed briefly.

“Ah! Rin, I'm—gonna choke!”

“Maybe you oughta choke after those stunts you pulled!! I can't believe you!”

“Rin, you're crying,” Ruri said, slipping in behind Selena and closing the door behind them.

“I am NOT!”

Yuya managed to wriggle out of Rin's grip, laughing.

“I'm okay, Rin, and Yugo's fine too,” he said. “Yugo says that you need to chill.”

“Tell Yugo that I'll show him what chill is!”

“You're loud,” Selena muttered. “Where are your red ducklings?”

“Huh?” Yuya said. “Oh, you mean Grace and Gloria. Gloria is with Reiji. She's evaluating all of the priests that are still in positions around the palace. Grace is...uh.”

He blushed.

“I might have sent her on a fake errand,” he said. “She was fussing...a lot. And I knew you guys were coming to visit soon, and I didn't want her to scream at you guys for touching me.”

Yuzu  _ almost _ laughed, but she held it in.

“Well, at least you're all right,” she said.

“You look a lot better,” Selena said. “Must be the food.”

“Probably,” Yuya said with a smile.

“Damn, though,” Rin said, finally breaking away from Yuya to start turning in a circle, staring at everything in the room. “You got some sweet digs here. I'm jealous.”

She wandered over to the bed and flopped face first into it.

“Oh! It's so plushy!”

She bounced up and down on it a few times.

“You're such a child,” Selena said.

Rin responded by causing a large gust of wind to make Selena stumble forward until she was within reach, and Rin grabbed her by the wrist to make her fall onto the bed too.

“You wouldn't be saying that if you knew how plush this bed was,” she said. “Like damn, the dorms don't even compare!”

“Of course they don't,” Yuzu said, rolling her eyes. “Those were barely more than cots.”

“Remember girls, asceticism is the key to becoming the goddess's chosen champion,” Ruri said a near pitch-perfect imitation of Himika. “If you get too used to soft things, your brains will melt into decadence.”

Rin let out a roar of laughter, so loud that she actually fell off the bed, and Yuzu couldn't help herself, she doubled over with the laughs. Even Yuya, who probably didn't get it, was giggling, gripping the sides of his chair with a slowly reddening face.

Oh goddess, but this was...despite the reminder that the eclipse was still hanging over their head, and they were no closer to Sanctuary than they had been before, she felt so calm and relaxed. It was just the five of them, all together, laughing about something stupid. No wars, no swords, no blood, just...them. Just all of them together.

Well...almost all of them.

She caught the glints and half-sad smiles in the faces of the other three, and she wondered if each of them was thinking about one of the other boys, who were here, but also not quite here. A bit of sadness braided itself into her cheer.

_ Goddess, _ she found herself thinking.  _ Is there ever a world where we could  _ all _ be together? All eight of us? _

And then suddenly, Yuya's face paled. His laughter disappeared, and he shot up to his feet.

“What—what's wrong?” Yuzu said, getting a hold of herself. “Yuya?”

“I think—” Yuya started. “I just heard—in the room over, I think, it must be one or two rooms over, close enough for me to hear—”

He was so startled that it was clear he was having trouble speaking, and he finally just shook his head.

“I'm not—I'm not supposed to leave the room, but—”

“What's wrong? What are you hearing?” Selena asked.

Yuya didn't seem to have the presence of mind to answer, because he just darted for the door, slipping through it—Ruri hadn't closed it all the way, so it wasn't locked, and Yuzu immediately bolted after him. What had startled him? What had he heard?

Yuya checked the door one down from his, shook his head, and ran to the next one. He rattled the handle uselessly, but it was locked. It gave Yuzu a chance to catch up with him.

“What's wrong?” she said.

Yuya groaned, clutching his head.

“I think—I think it must be Reira,” he said. “He's—I think he's having a panic attack.”

Yuzu's heart dropped into her stomach, and she heard Selena swear.

“He's in here, but I can't...I can't get to him...” Yuya said, his voice cracking.

“Get out of the way,” Selena said. She pushed Yuya and Yuzu aside. She gave the door a single glance, and then lifted one foot back and slammed her heel into the handle. It snapped off incredibly cleanly, and then she was able to heave the door open without a problem.

Yuya ran inside first, Yuzu close on his heels. The room looked about the same as Yuya's, only in shades of dark ocean blue as opposed to green. She scanned the room for any sign of anyone there, but Yuya made a beeline for the bed, dropping to his knees at the side and leaning his head down to look under.

“Hey,” he said, soft and calm. “Hey...Reira, it's okay. You're not alone, it's okay.”

Yuzu heard a soft, thin gasp. She wanted to run over there too, but she was afraid of startling Reira too.

Yuya laid himself stomach down on the carpet so that he could look under the bed more easily.

“It's okay,” he said. “You're not alone. No one's hurting you, okay? You don't need to punish yourself.”

Yuzu heard a choked sob.

“I—I was bad,” Reira mumbled. “I was bad.”

“No, no, it's okay,” Yuya said. “You're not bad. It's okay. Breathe, okay?”

Reira made a thin, strangled sound. Yuya kept talking, low and soothing, saying not much of anything at all until it became white noise even to Yuzu.

“Do you want to come out from under the bed?” Yuya said.

“N-no,” Reira said. “I'm gonna—I'm gonna get punished.”

“No one's going to punish you, Reira, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“T-they're gonna cut m-me again cause I didn't do what I was told, I-I don't want that—”

“They can't touch you,” Yuya whispered. “They can't touch you.”

“Y-you don't know....”

“Hey, Reira, look at this, okay?”

Yuya rolled the sleeve of his shirt back, revealing a web of white scars in the shape of...blood runes. Yuzu's skin crawled.

“See?” he said. “Mine are almost gone. They don't work anymore after a while. They can't use them on you anymore, okay?”

It took what felt like hours, but slowly, slowly, Reira crawled out from under the bed. Yuya moved slowly, getting up to a cross legged position. Reira tentatively reached for Yuya's arm, tracing his finger down the white scars. His eyes bubbled with tears.

He was so tiny, Yuzu thought, her heart jumping. He was half the size of Yuya, and about as thin. He looked like he hadn't had a good meal in years, with still hollowed, grey cheeks, his eyes wide and dull despite the shine of tears. His long purple hair was tangled up and messy, and his clothes were rumpled from being under the bed.

“It hurts a lot,” he mumbled.

“Yeah,” Yuya agreed. “It does. But no one's going to do that to you anymore. Your brother's here now, and he's going to protect you.”

Reira shuddered.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

Yuya nodded.

“I'll protect you too, okay?” he said. “And I'm sure everyone else will, too.”

He looked up towards Yuzu, and Yuzu startled to herself. She smiled at Reira, crouching down without approaching.

“Of course,” she said. “You're okay, now, Reira.”

A thought occurred to her, and she pulled a seed out of her pocket, palming it.

“Do you want to see something, Reira?” she said.

Reira stared at her, as though worried that she was going to hit him. Her heart withered a bit. How could anyone have done something like this to a child, to make him feel this way...?

She whispered some life into her seed, and it cracked open with a thin sprout. Reira's eyes widened, as the sprout grew longer and thicker right before his eyes, spreading upwards and bulging into a small bulb, which opened up slowly, one petal at a time. A red flower bloomed in her hand, and Reira let out a thin breath of awe. He scootched forward on his hands and knees.

“You can hold it,” Yuzu said. “Do you want to?”

Reira nodded. He put both hands out, tentatively, and Yuzu moved forward so that she could carefully tip the flower into Reira's hands. Reira cupped it close to his face.

“It's soft,” he whispered, as the petals brushed his cheeks.

Yuya moved forward very gently, touching Reira's shoulder gently.

“Are you breathing?” he said.

Reira nodded.

“I'm okay,” he mumbled.

“Do you want us to leave you alone?”

Reira shook his head so quickly that he almost dropped the flower.

“Okay. I can stay here for a little bit, at least.”

“We'll stick around,” Ruri said, smiling as she came inside the room around Yuzu, and sitting down near them. “I'm Ruri. It's nice to meet you, Reira.”

“Nice to meet you,” Reira whispered. He had such a tiny voice...

“Your hair is a little messy,” Ruri said. “Do you want some help brushing it? My mother always brushed my hair for me when I was feeling upset.”

Reira mumbled something that sounded like a yes, and Ruri smiled. Selena found a hairbrush in one of the drawers of the vanity near the bed, and brought it to Ruri. Yuya moved so that Ruri could get behind Reira. She hummed a soft gentle little tune as she began to carefully work her brush through the knots. Reira sighed. He closed his eyes and cupped the flower close to him, letting Ruri do her work.

Rin finally came in, dropping carefully next to Yuzu. Selena sat down on Yuzu's other side, and Yuya stayed in between them.

“How did you know he was like this?” Rin asked.

Yuya bit his lip.

“I could hear his thoughts,” he said.

“Wait—what?” Rin said. “You can  _ hear thoughts _ ?”

Her face flushed immediately, and Yuzu wondered what exactly Rin was embarrassed about Yuya potentially hearing.

“Not all of them,” Yuya admitted. “Only the ones related to destructive emotions and desires.”

Yuzu's lips parted.

“Then...what you heard...”

Yuya's eyes flickered to Reira, and he shifted a little closer to the other three girls so that he could lower his voice.

“Reira was basically mentally screaming,” he mumbled. “He kept thinking about the people that hurt him, that they were going to come and hurt him again—and he thought that he deserved it, in the panic attack...”

Selena swore, and Yuzu covered her mouth with one hand.

“That's awful,” Yuzu said, her heart leaping. “How could someone do something like that...”

Yuya's eyes flickered to his knees, and Yuzu's heart caught. Oh goddess...she messed up. She reminded him of his own torment...she was the worst...

“You're not the worst,” Yuya whispered, and Yuzu jumped.

“That's...one you can hear?” she said.

Yuya nodded.

“Sorry,” he said. “I know it's weird.”

She shook her head.

“If you can't help it, it's not your fault,” she said. “But...when you say you can hear destructive thoughts...you can hear all of them...?”

“Like all the hate that people have towards you,” Selena said, sounding vaguely angry.

“It's better now that I'm not in the temple,” Yuya said, rubbing the back of his neck. “The Inner Priests always had a lot of bad thoughts towards me. But to be honest...the worst is hearing self-hate...”

Yuzu felt almost sick. To be able to hear the worst thoughts that people had, all the time...she could hardly imagine it. It sounded awful.

“I mean, on the plus side, it's saved us a few times,” he said. “Because I could hear attackers coming. And I heard that Reira needed help—so it's useful sometimes.”

Yuzu nodded slowly, but it still seemed very sad to her...it didn't seem fair. Yuya didn't deserve any of this...why was it all on him? Why was the demon's darkness all on him—why did it pick him, and the other three, out of all the people in the world? It wasn't fair...

The mirth of before was already gone, and she sighed, twisting her fingers into her pant legs. Reira was calm now, at least, that was good. But there was a change in the atmosphere again, and she wondered when that light, happy feeling of just being together would be able to return between them again.

The door cracked open, and all eyes flew to it. Yuzu wasn't sure who she had been expecting to see, but it definitely wasn't Sawatari, and definitely not with a red face and wide eyes.

“Oh thank the deities, there you are,” Sawatari said. “You are not where you're supposed to be when I need you, Yuya.”

“I'm sorry!” Yuya said, scrambling to his feet. “I know I'm not supposed to leave my room, but Reira—”

“Oh I don't care where you go, Yuya, I just needed to know where you were,” he said. “Come here, right now, actually, all of you if you can spare yourselves, down to the court now.”

“Why? What's happened?” Yuzu asked.

Sawatari had to pause to catch his breath, but his face paled as he did so.

“There's been a messenger from Zarkania at our doorstep,” he said.

“ _ What? _ ” Selena said, immediately scrambling to her feet. “What do they want? Did they hear about the coup? Are they sending armies?”

Sawatari shook his head, and fumbled for words for a moment.

“T-that's not it at all,” he said. “They—the capital has split. There's a civil war.”

“Wha—what?” Yuzu said, feeling dizzy.

Sawatari nodded.

“The priests are rebelling,” he said. “Someone found out the truth about Yuya, and they turned on each other. They're rebelling, and they need help.”

 


	50. FIFTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [War & War](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-DLUmOKSw8)

The messenger from Zarkania looked as though he had run the entire distance between Zarkania and Shizenrei on foot. He huddled at the edge of the chair that had been brought into the center of the mostly empty courtroom, entire body shaking, clearly having trouble breathing. The other lords from the meeting before were here too, and Sayaka was the one crouching next to the boy's chair, murmuring to herself as she passed her hands over him, brow furrowed.

The boy's eyes flickered up the minute that Yuya stepped into the room, and for a brief moment, his lips parted. He was young, perhaps a year or two younger than Yuya. His blue hair might have been in a ponytail, but it had fallen almost entirely out, large parts of it plastered to his cheeks from the sweat and dirt. He was dressed in the red tunic of a Zarkanian acolyte, but unlike Grace, Gloria, or indeed, most of the priests who were still in Shizenrei, no hint of awe flickered over his face. He looked more...surprised, if anything.

“You're smaller in person,” he mumbled when Yuya approached, having to drag out each word between heavy breaths.

“Please don't speak yet,” Sayaka admonished him. Now that he was closer, Yuya could see that Sayaka's palms were glowing ever so slightly. Was she using her Blessing?

“Are we going to discuss this new development, or not?” Marco said. “He's here now, Your Highness, we can talk about it.”

“Not yet,” Sayaka said. “You have to give him a few more minutes, he's exhausted.”

“So are we all,” Marco said, but Sayaka sent him a sudden glare.

“He's suffering from acute overdraw,” she said. “He's been using his Blessing at full blast for the better part of a week, it seems—now tell me, Lord Marco, could you do the same and not feel your soul ripping apart at the edges?”

Marco looked chagrined, and Allen snickered.

“I told you, don't bother her while she's working,” he said, nudging Marco with his elbow.

“My...apologies, Lady Sasayama,” Marco muttered.

Sayaka huffed once, and leaned back over the young man, running her hands through the air over him. Yuya shifted towards where Reiji was standing, his heart thrumming in his chest.

“So...what happened?” he said.

Reiji hummed softly. His eyes were narrow, and he looked concerned. That was more than enough to worry Yuya, and his stomach twisted.

“He arrived very suddenly, demanding to speak with High Priest Heartland,” he said. “Although, when he heard the man was dead, he seemed not the least bit perturbed—actually said 'good riddance.'”

He shook his head.

“He wanted to talk to the priests in charge here, and was surprised to hear that you were here,” he said. “He refused to speak to us; said he would only speak with the priests.”

Another door opened, and Yuya glanced over to see Grace and Gloria hurrying across the room.

“Apologies for our delay, my lord,” Gloria said. Her eyes slid to the boy, and her eyes widened slightly. “You're—aren't you High Priest Phoenix's boy?”

Yuya sucked in a breath. High Priest Phoenix? This was his apprentice?

The boy coughed a few times, his body curling in on itself. Sayaka flapped her hands, but he waved her off.

“I'm—I'm fine, I think you did the trick,” the boy gasped. “Y-yeah. That's me. I'm Acolyte Sora Shiunin, direct acolyte under High Priest Phoenix.”

He struggled for air, face reddening slightly.

“T-there's been a coup,” he said. “Ed—High Priest Phoenix has declared war against High Priest Roger, and the Outer Priests have almost all sided with the rebellion in Eclipsine against the Inner Priests.”

Gloria swore, Grace put her hands to her mouth, and a chorus of muttered swears rose up from the lords. Reiji looked pale.

“What caused this?” he said.

Sora nodded towards Yuya, and Yuya's heart jumped.

“High Priest Phoenix found out the truth,” he said. “T-that Roger was using the Emperor and torturing him. He told the populace the truth, and Roger tried to have him killed.”

He swallowed thickly.

“B-but we're getting overrun,” he said. “We thought—we had the numbers, we had the support of the rebellion—but then...Roger let loose those  _ things _ ....”

The boy went entirely pale, and he immediately began to cough again, his entire body wracking with the shakes. Sayaka grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to steady him.

“What things?” Yuya mumbled, feeling a cold spread through him. “Wait....oh....oh  _ demons... _ ”

His stomach twisted and for a moment the entire world went black. He didn't realize that he had nearly passed out until he opened his eyes again and found Yuzu holding him, face pale.

“What?” she said. “What's wrong?”

Yuzu had followed him, then—Yuya hoped the other three girls had stayed with Reira; Reira needed someone right now more than ever. H-he was glad that Yuzu was here now.

Yuya felt dizzy. He managed to stand, but Yuzu kept a firm grip on him. He swallowed through a choked throat.

“You're talking about the hybrids,” Yuya mumbled. “R-Roger let them out?”

Sora nodded.

“You know about those, then?” he said. “Do you know how to stop them?”

“What hybrids?” Nakajima asked.

Yuya didn't want to—he didn't want to think about them, oh demons, he didn't want to have to think about them—

“ _ Get it together,” _ Yuuri hissed.  _ “We're not down there anymore.” _

Yuya tried to pull himself together.

“The demon hybrids,” he said, feeling cold. “Roger....Roger was experimenting with my blood. H-he decided to inject some of his prisoners with it, and they...”

Yuya felt sick again, like he was going to throw up. He pressed a hand to his mouth and leaned against Yuzu.

“They turned into monsters,” he said. “R-Roger locked me up with them once, during one of my episodes...even I couldn't kill them. T-they're like me in a demon rage, only they don't stop. They never stop.”

Sora looked like he was going to throw up, too.

“Y-you mean we can't kill them?” he said.

“I....”

Yuya felt sick and dizzy. He had wanted to forget all about those things, about that awful night when Roger had shoved him inside the cage. It had taken almost thirty minutes for the new moon to strike, and during that time...the hybrids hadn't waited for him to be on even footing with them. His skin crawled with ghost pains of the claws ripping poisonous gashes into his skin.

“I don't know,” he said, feeling faint. “I have no idea. I don't even know that he can control them, even if he thinks he can.”

Sora swore.

“I came here because Edo wanted me to pull back as many priests from Shizenrei as possible, for reinforcements,” he said. “We need help—we're all going to die out there if we don't get help. I-I can't go back without reinforcements. Everyone will die—and once Roger finds out that  _ you're  _ here, and that you've killed Heartland—”

“He'll turn to us next,” Reiji muttered. “ _ Damn _ .”

He gnashed his teeth briefly.

“We don't even have our feet under us over here yet,” Reiji said. “I can't go sending armies to Eclipsine; we barely have the resources to defend ourselves from ourselves this early in.”

“What about a delegation?” Yuya said quickly. “Send someone to Roger, tell him that you have me—use me to negotiate with him.”

“I'm not trading you to him for anything, Yuya,” Reiji said harshly, even as Yuzu's fingers dug into Yuya's arm. “Regardless of the fact that I am, actually, quite fond of you, giving you back to him would spell the end for all of us.”

“I know that! But it could buy us time to even make the pretense of it!”

Yuya was going to be sick. He couldn't stop thinking about the hybrids—about the people in Eclipsine who were forced to fight them. About the Outer Priests who had defected from the temple for his sake—about High Priest Phoenix, who was fighting for him out there despite the odds.

_ They're all going to die and it's going to be my fault, _ Yuya thought.  _ They're fighting for me, and I'm not even there. I can't do anything for them.  Why do they all do this?? Why for me?? _

“ _ Yuya, this isn't your fault!” _ Yuto said.

“I can't let them fight for me all alone,” Yuya said. “Reiji, please—that's our best bet, just to at least distract him—maybe he can pull the hybrids back!”

“I don't think he will,” Sora said suddenly. “I—I'm sorry, I don't think that's going to work at all.”

“Don't speak so familiarly to your Emperor,” Grace snapped at him, but Sora ignored her.

“Listen, that's not the only thing,” Sora continued, looking even paler. “It's not just the hybrids. I overheard one of their strategy meetings—Roger is negotiating with Meiying.”

The atmosphere of the room immediately dropped almost five degrees, and Yuya could hear a chorus of horrified thoughts, as all of those present suddenly got barraged with images of horrifying weapons that made even Yuya's skin crawl, and he had never seen any of these things before.

“One of their bombs could wipe us all out,” Marco swore. “If the Inner Priests succeed in getting Meiying to help them...”

“We could be seeing their airships over our heads in a matter of weeks,” Reiji said through grit teeth. “And once they deal with that...they could come to us on their way back.”

Yuya felt like he was going to pass out. “Bomb” wasn't a word that he knew, but from the images and thoughts he was getting from the others, it sounded absolutely awful. All Meiying would have to do is drop a single one onto this palace, kill everyone inside except him, and then dig him out and drag him back to the temple. If Roger gave them what they wanted, they would give him what he wanted. Roger was—Roger was good at that.

“ _ He's going to get us back,” _ Yugo said, his voice thick with fear.  _ “Oh, demons, we're going to get dragged back, we're going to get trapped again—” _

Yuya was probably having a panic attack, but he couldn't even see, so it was hard to tell.

“Yuya, Yuya, you're okay, it's all right,” Yuzu was saying over and over again, and Yuya just grabbed hold of her, desperate for something, anything, to anchor him into this time and place.

Reiji was in front of him, then, and Grace and Gloria were kneeling near him.

“He'll never touch you again,” Grace said, her voice trembling with fury. “My lord, he'll never touch you again, I swear it.”

“You're not going back to him.” Reiji said. “You are never going back to him.”

Yuya tried to get a hold of himself, gasping for breath. He simply nodded. It was all he had left in him.

Reiji swore softly again as he stepped back, rubbing his temples.

“We don't have any other options,” he said. “We have to declare war on Zarkania.”

Immediately, the lords burst into commotion. Marco was shouting something about how it was impossible, Sakuragi was crying out that they didn't have the resources or the support of the people for that, Sayaka was just shouting desperately for everyone to calm down.

“What is your suggestion, then?” Reiji said through grit teeth. “Wait until Meiying is dropping their newest model of carpet bombs across our already weakened city? We take out Zarkania's head of power  _ now _ , or we all end up  _ dead _ .”

More commotion. More shouting. Yuya just felt dizzy and sick.

Quietly, Yuzu took him under the arms, and guided him away from the commotion, mumbling things that might have been soothing if he could have heard what they were. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to do anything. He just wanted to lay here and never move again.

_ There are no good options _ , he thought.  _ There are no good options left. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late posting, I’ve been sick and sleeping all day ;w;
> 
> To all those who celebrate Christmas I hope you had a good kne, and to those who don’t I hope you had a great day in general !


	51. FIFTY-ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Crumbling Lies](https://youtu.be/ePKjkPl8jJs)

The night was soft, and quiet. Yuya could hear his own heartbeat, and nothing else. He was alone in his room and he hated it. It was so dark in here...the curtains were drawn over the balcony, enchanted to stay locked like doors so that nothing could climb in through that way from outside. It blotted out the moon outside, though, and even though this room was large and soft, it was so dark that he felt like he was back in his cell again, and the oil lamp had gone out.

He laid sprawled on the bed, staring into the dark where the canopy would be. Every bit of him felt so exhausted. Was...was he ever going to get a chance to rest...? It seemed as soon as he thought he had found a place he could breathe, something else happened. There was no end to this...to this war.

He lifted up his hands, but he couldn't even see them in the dark.

“ _ Why us, do you think?” _ he thought at the others.

It took a while for them to respond.

“ _ I think about that every day,” _ Yuto murmured.  _ “Why were we the ones who were born with this fate...?” _

Yuuri snorted.

“ _ It doesn't do us any good to think about it,”  _ he said.  _ “We can only continue forward.” _

Yugo made a sound of agreement, and Yuya almost laughed mirthlessly. Yugo and Yuuri agreeing on something? Now that was a first.

He rolled over onto his side. Sometime during all of the shouting, he thought he might have passed out, because when he woke up again, he was back here. Gongenzaka had been standing next to his bed, and when Yuya had sat up, he had immediately been choked in a large hug.

“I'm sorry, I don't want to leave you—but I have to go to the rebellion in Corkoro; we're mobilizing there. We'll meet you in Zarkania.”

And then he was gone, with barely any time for Yuya to say goodbye.  _ We'll meet you in Zarkania. _ Yuya's skin crawled. Did that mean there had been a decision? Were they...were they going to Zarkania?

Was  _ he _ going back to Eclipsine?

He moaned softly, pressing his hands to his ears as though that would blot out the encroaching panic attack. Going back. He had never, ever thought that he would go back. When he had left, he thought he was going to die. And now...now that he had the hope that he might not have to die at all...he was going back. He was going back to his prison. His heart thrummed in his chest, and he felt sick. He just wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. He wanted to find someone...he needed to talk to someone...but Grace and Gloria were sleeping in the hall outside despite him telling them they could stay in the room with him. They had insisted on staying by the door to defend him. From what? There was nothing here that would hurt him—nothing anywhere that could actually hurt him, not permanently.

They wouldn't have been good conversation partners anyway. It was hard to make friends with people that literally worshipped you.

“ _ I want to go back,” _ Yuya mumbled.  _ “Back to....back to those nights where it was just all of us traveling together...” _

The others didn't answer, but he was sure they felt the same way. Yuya couldn't stop thinking about Corkoro, about the beautiful forest that stretched on forever. He couldn't stop thinking about the canyons to Shizenrei, or the wide open fields with nothing but a campfire and Sawatari telling his ridiculous stories on his lute. Late night conversations under the stars, and walking under the large blue sky.

“ _ I...if we...if this ends, and we're still here,” _ Yuya thought.  _ “I...I want to travel again. I want to go everywhere. What do you guys think?” _

It sounded almost too much like “when we get out of here,” their mantra from their childhood imprisonment. But it was soothing, in its own way.

“ _ I think that sounds great,” _ Yuto said.

“ _ Let's go see the ocean first,” _ Yugo said.  _ “Rin and I always talked about that.” _

“ _ I suppose I can handle more walking,” _ Yuuri said, pretending to yawn as though he weren't interested in the idea of traveling at all.  _ “So long as you three don't bother me too much.” _

In spite of everything, Yuya laughed lightly. The knot in his chest loosened ever so slightly.

There was a very light tap on the door. Yuya sat up immediately.

“Who's there?” he said.

“My lord,” Grace's voice floated through the door. “His Highness Reiji would like to speak with you.”

“He can come in,” Yuya said. His heart jumped though. What did Reiji want to talk about?

The door slipped open, and the faint light of a small oil lamp peeked through the door. Reiji's face was illuminated in the crack. He smiled faintly, and closed the door behind him. He set the oil lamp on the table near the door.

“I'm sorry I couldn't come to see how you were doing sooner,” he said.

“You're really busy,” Yuya said. “I understand.”

Reiji shook his head. He ran a hand briefly through his hair.

“I...haven't had a chance to thank you.”

Yuya blinked.

“For...what?”

Reiji walked in through the dark. He hesitated a breath, before Yuya nodded, and Reiji sat down on the edge of the bed beside Yuya,

“For a number of things,” he said. “For helping me remove my collar. For helping me return home...for assisting me in reclaiming my country. For taking care of Reira. For doing your best in these meetings, when I know that you have never been allowed to make decisions in your life.”

Yuya looked down at his knees.

“I just...I just want to help,” he said. “I want everything to work out...I want it to be possible for people to be happy.”

Reiji smiled.

“And that's why I must thank you, Yuya...because there are so few people like you in the world.”

His smile turned a little sad, and he reached up almost automatically to play with the pendulum around his neck.

“Forgive me for the callousness of this...but if anyone had to be the Demon Emperor, I'm glad it was you.”

Yuya's lips parted, and he blinked.

“I would never wish that pain upon you, or anyone,” Reiji said. “But despite everything that has happened to you...you have retained your kindness, Yuya. You, and the other three as well.”

He turned towards Yuya, smiling softly in the dark. The oil lamp lit him from behind, making him look soft-edged.

“This world has is a mess, and I hold no love for the Zarkanian religion,” he said. “But if the Emperor had been anyone else...perhaps none of this could have come to pass. Perhaps we never could have come this far. You're doing your best to fix a mess that isn't even yours.”

“It sort of is,” Yuya mumbled.

Reiji shook his head.

“You were a victim of circumstance, Yuya. None of this was your fault. And yet, you feel so much that you wish to do what you can to fix it.”

He smiled again.

“So, when I say I'm glad you are the Emperor, and not anyone else—it's not that I wish you had gone through what you did. But I'm glad that it's you that I can fight alongside in this war.”

Yuya felt the tiniest smile grow over his face. Maybe...maybe he did understand.

Reiji's smile faded, then, and he closed his eyes briefly. Then he reached up and took the pendulum by the cord, lifting it off of his neck. Yuya froze when Reiji's hands came towards him, but Reiji was only looping the pendulum around Yuya's neck. The minute the gem bumped against Yuya's chest, he felt a spark pass through his heart. He gasped.

His fingers came up to finger the pendulum, lips parting. Was he imagining it, or was it glowing, faintly?

“Why are you giving me this?” Yuya said. “This is the treasure of the Shizenrei family, right?”

“It was said to have been made by both the demon and the goddess,” Reiji said. “And it's said to lead the way to Sanctuary.”

He briefly brushed the bangs away from Yuya's forehead.

“It belongs to you more than me,” he said. “And I believe it should return to you, the one who must find Sanctuary.”

Yuya's lips parted, but Reiji didn't give him a chance to speak.

“I don't want you to go to Zarkania. Leave this battle to us. Go to Sanctuary.”

Yuya's heart almost stopped.

He didn't...he didn't have to go. He didn't have to go back to Eclipsine. He didn't have to...

His hands curled around the pendulum. It was cool, but pleasantly so. It felt so right hanging from his neck...

“You don't have much time before the eclipse,” Reiji said. “I can't ask you to accompany the ones I'm sending. As soon as they leave in one direction, I'll send you and Tsukikage with Armageddon towards where Sanctuary is supposed to be. I'm sure Yuzu and the other three will be joining you as well. You—”

“No,” Yuya said, almost surprising himself with the word.

Reiji stopped, hesitating with lips parted. It took Yuya a second to figure out what he was trying to say, his brain catching up with his mouth.

“I can't do that,” Yuya said, his fingers tightening around the pendulum. “I appreciate it, Reiji, I really do—but I can't.”

Reiji's brow furrowed.

“I won't send you back there,” he said. “I absolutely will not.”

“And I can't let everyone else go to fight this battle without me,” Yuya said, sitting up. “Those priests in Zarkania are fighting for me. I can't abandon them.”

“Yuya...”

“You heard me during the meeting—whether I like it or not, I'm giving these people hope.” Yuya swallowed thickly. “I can't take that hope away from them.”

“Yuya, you can't go. If you're not going to go to Sanctuary yet, you should stay here with me. I'll be running the operation through remoteglass.”

“No,” Yuya said again, more strongly. “I'm going, Reiji. I'm going to Eclipsine, and I'm going to go help the ones who are fighting for me. I can't run away from this, Reiji, not forever. If this is going to end, I'm going to see it end with my own eyes.”

Reiji opened his mouth again, but Yuya didn't quit.

“You heard me talk about those hybrids. I might not have been able to kill them in my demon rage, but I'm the only thing that those things can't hurt. And...and Reiji...”

He bit his lip, feeling a tremble pass through him.

“The next new moon is only in a few days,” he said. “By the time we get there...I'll likely be going into a rage again.”

Reiji looked pale.

“You're...you're suggesting we turn you loose in that state into the battlefield.”

“I'll go towards the most destructive thing that catches my attention, and that will be the hybrids,” Yuya said. “I can't kill them, and they can't kill me. It will keep them away from the main fighting while the rest of you deal with everything else.”

Reiji looked sick to his stomach, but he seemed to be logically grasping what Yuya's plan was.

“I don't like it,” he said.

Yuya smiled wryly. “And you think I do?”

The words hung in the silence for a long, long time. And then Reiji finally sighed. He removed his glasses, cleaning them on his scarf.

“You keep surprising me, Yuya,” Reiji said softly. “You're so much braver than I could imagine.”

Yuya shuddered.

“I'm terrified of this,” he whispered. “But I can't leave these people...I can't leave _ my _ people...to fight this battle alone. Not when they're fighting for my sake.”

Reiji let out a low sigh. He briefly rubbed his eyes behind his glasses.

“The lords will most certainly not approve sending you,” he said. “So, I think it might be better if they do not know.”

He nodded towards the door.

“Our plan is thus: we're not sending an army, because we don't have one. We're sending the priests who will go, and what warriors we can spare who have volunteered. They will be warping via enchantment scroll to a rendezvous point to meet with the the rebellion in Corkoro, and the Corkoro warriors who will be joining us.”

He fixed his glasses.

“I'll be coordinating the operation from here, watching through remoteglass, and speaking to commanders through sonographs. Our goal is very simple: quickly and efficiently subdue Roger. We assume that he will be more inclined to listen to demands if he is under our control.”

He frowned.

“However...if it comes down to it, an assassination would be viable as well.”

Yuya shuddered, but only a little. He couldn't find it in himself to feel anything for the idea of Roger dying.

Reiji let out a brief huff.

“As for you...again, if you choose to go, I believe it will be for the best if the lords don't know it happened until it did.”

He rose up from the bed.

“Get some rest. You can't take the warp scroll with the others, and there's no time to make another one. You'll have to go on horseback. Armageddon will take you; with him, the journey will be quick. I'm sure Grace and Gloria would be more than happy to accompany you that way.”

“What about Yuzu and the others?”

“Gongenzaka and Shun have already returned towards Corkoro to make contact with their respective warriors. Sawatari and Tsukikage will be remaining here with me. As for the girls...I will let them know privately what you're planning to do, and they can travel with the others by warp to meet you there.”

Yuya nodded. That would work...

His stomach turned. He couldn't believe he was actually choosing to go back. But...but there was no other option. He had to go.

“Goddess bless you,” Reiji murmured. “And I hope we shall see each other again at the end of this all.”

He nodded at Yuya, and began to make his way back towards the door. Yuya quickly rose up on his knees, gripping the pendulum.

“Wait,” he said. “Don't you want this back?”

Reiji didn't even turn around.

“I still think it's better off with you,” he said. “It looks much better on you than it does me.”

And then he was slipping through the door, leaving the oil lamp behind. It flickered in the dark, the only thing that Yuya could really see, and he just sat there with the cold pendulum in his hand.

He was going back to Zarkania. He felt...he wasn't sure how he felt.

“ _ Am I making the right choice?” _ Yuya said.

“ _ Yes,” _ Yugo said immediately.  _ “We can't be running away from the fight!” _

“ _ I think you're both impulsive and stupid,”  _ Yuuri said.  _ “But...I can't disagree. We are the best chance the rebellion has at combating the hybrids.” _

Yuya shuddered deeply. He didn't want to think about the hybrids.

And then he heard a soft footstep in the room, and he bit back a scream as he whipped around.

He had no idea how she had gotten inside, or how he hadn't heard her thoughts, or how neither him nor Reiji had noticed her standing mere feet away, listening in. Asuka Tenjoin's eyes glittered from the oil lamp, illuminating her limp blond braid.

For a long, long moment, they both just stared at each other in silence. Yuya realized, logically, that all he had to do was shout, and Grace and Gloria would be inside in a second.

But...he couldn't hear her thoughts. Did that mean she wasn't thinking about killing him?

“Were you telling the truth?” she said, her voice soft and quiet.

Yuya was so surprised to hear her voice that he couldn't answer for a moment.

“About...about what?” he asked.

She pushed her braid off of her shoulder and onto her back.

“About wanting to go to war against your own priests. About wanting to fight with the rebellion.”

Yuya hesitated. He nodded.

“I wouldn't lie about that,” he said. “I need to get there, and I need to help.”

Asuka's lips pressed together.

“Why would you?”

“Because...because I don't want anyone else to have to die,” he said. “There's been so much death...there's been so much pain...I just want everyone to be able to live peacefully again.”

“And what of the people you've already killed?”

Yuya's stomach clenched. His mouth went dry. Oh...oh he think he knew what was going on here. Her voice was familiar enough that he knew that she must have been the one who had stabbed him during the courtroom attack the day before...

“I killed someone you loved, didn't I?” he whispered, voice choked.

Her lips curled.

“You don't even remember,” she said. “Are human lives so insignificant to you that you can't remember the faces of the people you've killed?”

Yuya hunched his shoulders.

“I...I'm sorry,” he mumbled.

“Sorry won't bring my brother back.”

Yuya opened his mouth, but Asuka continued to talk.

“He sacrificed himself for me, you know. When the priests came for the lords of Shizenrei who wouldn't accept Zarkanian rule, my parents died. My brother fled across the docks to draw their attention so that I could stow away on a ship to escape. I found out later he had been taken as a sacrifice.”

Yuya let out a thin moan. Oh no. Her brother...he must have been one of the people thrown to him while he was in a demon rage.

“I'm sorry,” Yuya said, tears bubbling in his eyes. “I don't...I don't remember anything that happens during my demon episodes.”

“Do you think that makes it all right that he's  _ dead _ ?”

“And do you think I enjoy waking up to the sight of blood on my hands and a body underneath me that I don't remember killing?” Yuya said, voice cracking.

Asuka hesitated, and for a moment, her expression faltered. Yuya leaned forward.

“I took someone important from you,” he said. “And I can't—I can't fix that.”

He couldn't see for the tears in his eyes.

“But...if I could have had the  _ choice _ ...I never would have hurt anyone.”

He swallowed.

“I can't change what already happened. I can only keep fighting for the now.” He smiled wryly. “There was a time when I wanted you to kill me. I could always hear how much you wanted to.”

She sucked in a breath of surprise, but Yuya kept talking.

“But I can't run away anymore. I can't run away from the things I've done, not even to die. I need to face what's happened, and I need to fight with the people who are still alive. I need to do whatever I can.”

Asuka studied him for a long, long moment. And then, all at once, her expression crumbled. She sank slowly to her knees, gripping at her chest.

“Fuck,” she mumbled. “What am I supposed to do now...? Why can't you be the villain I wanted you to be?”

Yuya almost thought that he should...do something. Maybe try to hug her or something? But no, that wouldn't be a good idea. So he just sat there, hands pressed into the bed, as she cried silently.

She rose then, abruptly, swaying slightly.

“I won't forgive you so easily,” she said. “I hope you know that.”

Yuya nodded.

“I understand.”

Her lips pressed together. Then she turned towards the door. He shifted forward, reaching towards her.

“You can't go out that way, Grace and Gloria will probably try to attack you,” he said.

She didn't even turn around.

“My Blessing is that I can be completely unnoticed when I choose to be,” she said. “So I don't think it will be a problem. The next time we meet, you won't even know I was there.”

And then, right in front of his eyes, she seemed to disappear. He  _ knew _ , logically, that she was still there, but it was like his brain couldn't figure it out. He knew that the door must have opened, and she must have gone out that direction, but he didn't notice.

He sat there in the dark, staring at the place where Asuka had once been.

_ Tomorrow we go back _ , he thought.  _ And I guess...we find out what happens next. _


	52. FIFTY-TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Grandma (Destruction)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcMAHY4DFW8)

**** The hybrid was getting through the barricade.

Edo grit his teeth—his last remaining demon weapon rested in his hand. It was his last-resort weapon, one of only five ever created. His stomach turned to use a weapon that had been forged with his god's unwilling blood, but he was running out of options—if he wanted to defend his troops, he needed to use it.

He hefted the huge blade. Despite the size, and the oddly shaped, elegantly carved sword blade, it was feather light, and perfectly balanced. He held it in both hands anyway, bracing himself. His wounds hadn't healed yet—he could almost imagine Sora scolding him for being this close to the front.

But that hybrid was going to get through this barricade, and they had already lost so much ground to the first one that had made its way in. The only thing that was keeping it from destroying everything now was the fact that Aki had almost completely ensnared it in her vines—but she was running out of arrows, and it was continually almost struggling free of her thorns.

Shinji swore at Edo's side as they saw the barricade bulge again, heard the thick, slavering sound acidic saliva.

“It'll melt through,” Shinji said.

“I know,” Edo said.

“Do you even think that thing will work on it?”

Edo grit his teeth. It only had about five or six uses, and he wasn't even sure it would work on something else with the Emperor's blood in it. Demon weapons only worked on each other if they were of higher tier, and now Edo knew that meant higher blood concentration. He had been too nervous to test it on the trapped hybrid in the fear it would free it from the vines and then not work. He didn't know how much blood had been used in making the hybrids, but he was almost positive it was more than was made for his sword.

“One way to find out,” Edo muttered.

Behind him, their other handful of fighters holding this alleyway shifted, wielding whatever they could get their hands on: pitchforks, unlit torches, planks with nails in them. Only the priests had actual weapons, and even they didn't have much—not to mention, all their demon power was used up by now.

“Hold,” Edo called behind them, feeling the spike of fear and anxiety. “Hold—it hasn't gotten through yet.”

“Steady,” Shinji said.

Edo was getting dizzy from all of the emotions, and his own still panging wounds. It had been several days since he had sent Sora for help, and he was still scanning the sky, searching for any hint of the dreaded Meiying airships. If Roger succeeded in his negotiations before Edo got any reinforcements...they were all sitting ducks in here, trapped inside the city walls with monsters, and bombs on the way.

The barricade shattered.

Edo swore, lifting his blade up as the hybrid emerged, stumbling through the splinters of wood. Saliva splattered the ground and sizzled, and huge, demonic eyes leered out at them. Edo felt the thick buzz of terror, but he fought the sense back. He let out a wordless cry, shooting forward to bring his sword down through the hybrid.

The weapon hit against its shoulder and lodged there, and the creature screamed—but it did not dissolve into atoms, not the way this weapon was supposed to work.

_ Fuck _ , Edo thought.

His blade was stuck, and he couldn't do anything as the creature screamed and swiped at him, catching him in the side and flinging him against a wall. He heard Shinji shouting, and felt terror and horror spike through the alley. His head spun.

_ I'm failing _ , he thought.  _ I'm failing them, and the Emperor. _

He forced himself to his feet, and realized that the hybrid was right over his head. Teeth shone wickedly in the light, and Edo felt his heart simply stop. The claws came down for his head. He saw, in slow motion, something small and sand like falling down in front of his eyes, and in the strange way of a near-death experience, he found himself looking down at whatever had fallen instead of at his imminent death.

Flowers exploded out of the ground.

The demon hybrid actually shrieked, as the flowers burst up in spinning vines, blooming right before Edo's eyes, twisting around its arms. It staggered free, ripping out of the blossoms, but it had been just enough to distract it from killing Edo.

A shape dropped down from the building below, landing lightly in front of him. He caught the flash of a blade which forced the hybrid back another few steps—more flowers burst upwards, growing from the cracks in the cobblestones and creating a twisting wall. Somehow—somehow it seemed to frighten the beast, and it shied away from the huge pink and yellow blossoms like they were poisonous. Those weren't Aki's vines, and they hadn't come from arrows. Was that...some kind of Blessing? But flowers were a goddess-quality, not a demon-quality...

Edo remembered then that he needed to breathe.

He almost forgot to breathe again when he saw exactly who had rescued him.

She spun on her heel to face him, sword dropping to her side. Her face was flushed with exertion, and she was barely older than Sora, he thought.

She was also dressed in the very iconic white of a Rayglen acolyte.

“Sorry we're so late,” she said. “You must be High Priest Phoenix, right?”

Edo was at a loss for words. He had wanted reinforcements, but...Rayglen? What were  _ they _ doing here?

And then he heard a faint roar, and his eyes flickered out towards the square at the end of the alley, through the ruined barricade. He saw a rain of arrows descending on a second hybrid, which shied back with a shriek. Enemy priests were firing back, red robes flashing as they clashed suddenly with dark robed people who scaled buildings as easily as if they were rock walls, to shoot arrows from above.

“Corkoro?” Edo said, head spinning with surprise.

“I can explain as much as I can,” the girl said. “And as quickly—when you sent your messenger to Shizenrei, Reiji Akaba had already taken his throne back. He wants to support your rebellion against the Inner Priests.”

That was almost too much information for Edo to parse, but he got the gist of it. They had allies—just not from the quarters he had been expecting.

“We brought the oldwoods branch of the rebellion, the priests from Shizenrei who were still loyal to you, Corkoro warriors, and whatever soldiers Shizenrei was able to volunteer,” the girl said. “Oh—and me and a few others, who aren't a part of any of those groups.”

“Yuzu!”

The girl looked up quickly towards the window she had dropped from.

“I found them!” she shouted back. “Down here!”

Edo's eyes lifted, but not soon enough to see who had been in the window, as they had turned around and hurried away. He heard footsteps inside the building, and then the side door opened. First, a young man with bushy orange hair appeared, his eyes flickering around. His gaze fell on Shinji just as Shinji let out a choked swear, and then both of them ran towards each other, immediately grabbing hold of each other in a tight hug before Shinji pressed his lips furiously against the other man’s. Edo felt waves of relief washing off of both of them.

It was, however, the second person in the doorway that really caught Edo's attention. He found a faint moan escaping from his throat in spite of himself.

The Emperor's eyes were wide and clear, and for the first time, Edo could feel his emotions washing out of him, not repressed under years of rune scars: nerves and relief and uncertainty and stress. He looked so young, Edo realized, and he looked real, for the first time that Edo could remember.

Edo sank to his knees, the relief that ran through his veins removing any semblance of strength in his legs.

“My lord,” he mumbled. “My lord—you have returned.”

The Emperor hesitated only a brief second. And then he smiled, and it was, perhaps, the only thing that Edo had ever wanted to see in his life.

“I'm back to help,” he said. “Thank you for fighting so hard.”

He winced, then, looking pale. He panted slightly, and Edo struggled back to his feet.

“Are you well, my lord? Is something wrong?”

The boy licked his lips, and his eyes flickered nervously towards the girl.

“It's not the new moon yet,” he mumbled. “I—I think it's happening sooner this time.”

He winced again, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I'm about to lose a lot of control,” he said. “Take the wounded and retreat somewhere safe. If anyone is able to be spared, send them into the fight outside.”

“My lord, what of you?”

The Emperor swallowed, and his eyes turned towards the hybrid, which was still pacing outside the wall of flowers, hunched over on all fours.

“I'm going to take care of that.”

The girl rushed forward as the Emperor swayed, and Edo briefly felt a spike of anger as she grabbed his arm to catch him—she shouldn't be  _ touching _ him—

And then, the Emperor's skin began to change color.

His skin bleached to a dull, dead gray, skin beginning to crack in places as though he were made of dry earth. Scales slid out of his skin down his neck, and spikes burst up through his shoulders, ripping his shirt and leaving it in tatters. Fangs sprouted from his mouth, almost immediately covered in a thick, acidic saliva.

_ He looks like one of the hybrids, _ Edo thought with a sudden pang of nerves.

“Yuzu,” the Emperor mumbled. “M-make sure I don't go after anything except the hybrids.”

“I'm right here, Yuya, I promise,” the girl said.

And then the Emperor's eyes turned a deep, glowing, angry red, and the girl hopped back, putting out one arm in between him and Edo, and pushing Edo back. She whispered to her flowers, and they retreated—the hybrid immediately lurched forward with a hiss.

The motion seemed to catch the Emperor's attention, because he immediately swung towards it. With a broken hiss, he met the hybrid easily. Their hands briefly scrabbled with each other, and then the Emperor flung the hybrid back with ease. The Emperor let out a low, guttural, angry sound, and Edo's head absolutely pulsed with his emotions—they were entirely different now. Anger, hate, fear, disgust, an overwhelming desire to destroy. Edo actually felt sick.

“Get everyone back,” the girl said. “You heard him, get everyone back, we need to make sure there's space between him and his fight.”

Edo briefly grabbed her shoulder.

“What are you about to do?” he said. “You're an acolyte of the goddess, aren't you?”

The girl looked up at him, and he was surprised to sense an incredible amount of determination in her.

“I'm going to protect Yuya,” she said. “I might be a follower of the goddess, that's true—but Yuya is my friend.”

She turned towards him.

“And I'm going to do whatever I have to do to support him.”

Edo didn't want to leave. He didn't want to turn away from this—didn't want to walk away from his Emperor.

But his Emperor had ordered him to take the wounded back to a safe space...he would have to trust that his Emperor knew what he was doing.

He gave the strange, monstrous Emperor one last glance. Then he turned around and shouted at the group.

“You heard him—take the wounded back to the field hospital! And all of you who are able, get into the fray and support our new reinforcements!”

A roar rose up from the group, and they surged to do as they were told.

Edo walked quickly back with them, supervising the removal of the wounded.

_ I hope—I hope this ends well _ , he thought. And then he felt bolstered once again, because  _ he's here. Our god is here...and he's fighting along with us. _

_ How could we possibly lose? _

* * *

Demon Yuya was—terrifying, in a word.

Yuzu had said she was going to protect Yuya, but...really, she wasn't sure if there was anything she could do.

She stayed back, both hands on her sword, half circling Yuya and the hybrid to keep an eye on the fight. Yuya was entirely focused on his opponent, hissing with saliva covered teeth. The hybrid hissed right back. It lunged for Yuya, but he batted it aside as though it were no more than a fly. Yuya shot forward to take advantage of the hybrid losing its balance, and Yuzu choked on bile as Yuya's claws ripped into its throat. It fell to the ground immediately, and Yuya lurched back, hands soaked in blood. A second hybrid loped out of the battle in the square with a shriek.

_ Yuya said there were five of them, _ she said.  _ At least, that he knew of. It takes a lot of blood to make one, and a lot of time, so Roger probably didn't have enough resources to make any more during the time that Yuya was gone. _

_ One down, four to go. _

At least, that's what she thought, until the one that Yuya had seemingly killed lurched back to its feet, still bleeding from its throat. Its wound was—its wound was sealing up. Oh  _ goddess— _ they were like Yuya. They could heal.

Yuya was busy with the second hybrid, and Yuzu could hear a third shriek over the top of the fighting.

The first hybrid slid towards Yuya with a hiss.

“Oh no you don't,” Yuzu said. She shot forward, sword swinging in an arc—however, the metal clanged uselessly off of the hybrid's back, serving only to catch its attention. It swung towards her with leering eyes.

She reached mentally back for her seeds still on the ground, calling the flowers to her arm. They shot towards her and grew curling up her arm, exploding with blossoms again. She shoved her hand forward desperately—and the demon retreated, hissing angrily at the flowers.

_ It doesn't like the flowers _ , she thought.  _ Flowers are one of the goddess's symbols...does that mean...? _

She advanced on it, flower arm outstretched, and it shied back with a shriek.

“Yuya!” she shouted. “Yuya, look—we can hold them back with the flowers!”

She didn't expect Yuya to respond, but she glanced over anyway. She heard another roar—she turned almost too slowly, and screamed at the sight of a third hybrid loping down the alleyway towards them. She had only the barest amount of time to grow another wall of flowers, holding it back.

However, that distracted her from the other one, and she shrieked as claws ripped down her skin. She lurched backwards in time to prevent any lasting damage past her skin, but the blood was dripping down her side and her legs already and she couldn't breathe for the pain.

She lifted her sword up to meet the hybrid's next attack, but it batted the sword aside easily and she lost hold of it. Her eyes squeezed shut automatically—

She heard Yuya shriek, and her eyes flew open to see Yuya surging at her attacker. They hit the ground and rolled until Yuya ended up on top. His face was contorted with a horrible snark, and Yuzu almost threw up in her mouth when he lunged down to dig his teeth into the hybrid's throat and rip it out.

He spat it out as he staggered back from the body, and then spun around to slash his claws at the other two. He was bleeding in so many places already, but it didn't seem to slow him at all.

_ They take longer to heal than he does _ , Yuzu thought, feeling sick and shaky as she saw the hybrid on the ground very slowly knitting its throat back together.  _ But they're still going to HEAL. This will be never-ending! _

Yuya didn't seem to be bothered, lunging at another hybrid with hissing and snarling. But then, he wouldn't—in this zone, he'd fight forever, without stopping.

_ How long does he have in demon mode? _ she thought.  _ The real new moon doesn't start for two days—will he be like this for two whole days? _

And then,  _ if Yuya can't kill them, who can? This fight will never end. _

She heard shouting in the square ahead, and chanced a quick glance towards the fight.

The Inner Priests were retreating, it seemed, falling back under the combined forces of the rebellion, Shizenrei, and Corkoro. They could win that part, she thought. But what about this part?

_ Roger _ , she thought suddenly.  _ That man will know how to get rid of his own creations. Or some way to contain them. _

But could she leave Yuya?

“Yuzu!”

She heard her name call out over the square, over the shouts and battle cries and clang of metal, and looked around. The hybrids were distracted entirely with Yuya now; they wouldn't even give her a glance. They knew what the real threat was, and Yuya was busy with them.

Rin extracted herself from the fight, barrelling towards Yuzu. Her eyes snapped to the hybrids, face blanching.

“That's—that's them?” she said.

“Yeah,” Yuzu said, breathless. “Yuya's holding them off for now, but we're missing two of the ones Yuya said there were in total.”

She and Rin backed up to give the fight breadth—people were avoiding this corner, so that was good.

“How do we get rid of them?” Rin said.

“I don't know—Yuya's given them more than a few killing blows already but they keep getting back up.”

As if in response to her, the one that Yuya had ripped out the throat of finally lurched back to its feet and joined the fray.

“We need to find Roger,” Yuzu said. “Or lure them somewhere we can lock them in!”

“Yuya used to get imprisoned in the temple, right?” Rin said. “If they're anything like him, there should be stuff in the temple we can use against them!”

Yuzu hadn't thought of that, but that was the best idea she could come up with.

“Okay,” she said. “Somehow, we have to get through to Yuya in this state and get him to help us drive them towards the temple.”

Rin nodded, and whipped towards the battle, eyes scanning through it.

“We have to make sure they don't run into people, either,” she said. “I'll get Selena and Ruri! Ruri can help keep the way clear with her birds, and Selena can help us drive them!”

“I'll see if I can get Yuya to respond to me,” she said.

Rin didn't pause to nod, she just darted back towards the fight. Yuzu whipped to face Yuya.

“Yuya!” she shouted. “Yuya!”

Yuya didn't respond, but she edged forward.

“Yuya!”

Yuya just snarled, and that wrong voice dripped out of his lips.

“ _ Wrong wrong wrong, they're so fucking wrong, I'll rip them to pieces, I'll end them, they're WRONG— _ ”

“Yuya!”

This time, Yuya finally glanced towards her, but it seemed to be more to see what was shouting at him than in response to a name he recognized. His lips curled at her, eyes flashing.

“Yuya, I'm trying to help!” she said. “I want to help! We're going to drive them towards the temple!”

Yuya didn't seem to be listening, he just hissed at her.

“ _ Fucking human, I bet you made these, these wrong things, humans were wrong, humans weren't suppose to exist either—” _

One of the hybrids took advantage of Yuya's distraction. She screamed at him.

“Look out!”

Yuya couldn't be hurt for long, but just one of them getting him down for even a second could let the other two start ripping at him, and he'd be in pain and wouldn't be able to get his advantage back, and then he could even be stuck there, constantly healing and struggling until his demon rage ended and he would be near powerless again, trapped in that loop of pain and healing.

She lunged forward with her sword, point first, and drove it into the hybrid's eyes. It shrieked. It lurched back so fast that it ripped the sword from her hands, and she only had her flowers then, twisting and spiraling around her arms as she encouraged them to grow thorns to defend herself. She held her arms out between the hybrids and Yuya.

“We have to get them somewhere we can confine them,” she said. “Yuya, please!”

She made a brief glance over her shoulder and saw that Yuya was staring at her, lips parted with what seemed to be surprise. Uncertainty fluttered over his face. And then his eyes faded from a deep angry red into that strange gold once again, although the rest of his transformation remained.

He mouthed something, a name that wasn't Yuzu's, but then shook his head once. He swayed to an upright position.

“ _ Drive them to the temple,” _ he mumbled.  _ “I can do that. I can do that.” _

Yuzu broke with relief, and it was all she could do to stay standing. She felt a lightness flowing through her.

“Thank you, Yuya,” she said. “Okay!”

She turned on the hybrids, flowers in both hands. Now to get them to the temple.

* * *

It was even tighter in these servant tunnels than Dennis remembered, or maybe that was just the claustrophobia. He shimmied through, sparing a brief glance behind him to the four last-ditch rebels who had decided to come with him. This was a suicide mission, and they all knew it. But if they could kill Roger, that could be what gave them the last edge they needed.

“Keep close,” he called back. “We're almost there.”

He took a left at the fork, shuffling along, almost sideways to fit. His chest felt tight, and every movement hurt. He hadn't healed entirely yet, and if Aki hadn't been distracted with her own patients, she probably would have tied him down to prevent him from doing this.

_ I have to end this, _ Dennis thought.  _ I have to do whatever I can to help end this. For...for them. _

He thought of Yuya, and the only memory of a young Yuuri that he had left. They were trusting him. And if he could help get rid of Roger...help remove that stain from both of their lives...

He found the final trapdoor, and paused to listen. He didn't hear anything up above...the coast was probably clear. Not many people walked in the back hallways where these tunnels lead, anyway. He pushed on the door and crawled through into the dark, empty hallway. He crouched in the dark near the door, tucked away in an alcove along the side of the wall. One of the rebels crawled through after him, and then the next. Dennis kept an eye on both sides of the hallway. Roger would probably be holed up in the basement, as far from the fighting as possible.

“Okay,” he whispered, as soon as the other four were all up there with him. “I'll show you the way to the tunnels; Roger's probably down there. He'll have a lot of guards, probably and he'll be armed...so we all have one shot.”

They all nodded solemnly. Dennis sucked in a breath and let it out.

“Now—”

He had barely stood up when something huge and heavy bowled him over, pinning him to the ground. He heard screams in front of him, felt blood splatter across his hands and onto the floor in front of him—claws were pressing into his back, and he felt hot breath slavering against his neck. Oh fucking demons, the hybrids, there were still hybrids in the temple—

Dennis closed his eyes, absolutely certain that he was about to die.

Until the weight came off of his back, and he felt a hand curl into his hair instead, yanking him up to his knees.

“So the prodigal servant returns.”

Roger's hissing voice was the worst thing that Dennis had ever heard, and he couldn't breathe. He could see the bodies of the four rebels torn to pieces on the floor in front of him, and tears bubbled to his eyes. Oh demons...he had led them to their deaths.

The final hybrid leered at Dennis, drooling onto the floor. Roger made a sound in a language Dennis hadn't heard before, and the hybrid flinched, hissing as it drew back.

“I think it thinks you look delicious,” Roger laughed. “Should I give you to it as a chewtoy?”

Dennis couldn't breathe. He couldn't see anymore either for the panic. Roger simply laughed, and dragged him up to his feet, slamming him face first against the wall. Dennis was in so much shock that he couldn't do anything as Roger looped rope tightly around his wrists.

“I heard a very fascinating rumor, boy,” Roger said. “It sounds like the Emperor himself has returned to lead the charge against me.”

Dennis choked on his own air.  _ Yuya.  _ No—he couldn't have come back. Could he have?

“I seem to recall he likes you, boy,” Roger said. “Do you think he'll come for you before I get bored and throw you to the hellhounds?”

Dennis couldn't breathe. No...Yuya... _ please...don't come...don't come Yuya—don't come... _

  
  



	53. FIFTY-THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Bipolar Nightmare](https://youtu.be/rQuHwqMcN8w)

Selena rolled, but when she came back to her feet, she seemed to have lost her sword. She swore, ducking under the swipe of a hybrid.

Ruri shot past her, swinging her sword in an arc. The motion was confident enough to make the hybrid stumble back with a wary shriek.

The sky darkened briefly overhead with the rush of ravens that swirled up in the sky, and then shot down to Ruri's brief hoot. The hybrid shrieked and staggered away, but the beaks and claws found their mark, ripping deep cuts into its gray skin.

“This isn't enough!” Selena shouted.

“You don't think I know that?” Ruri shouted back. “But we have to keep them away from the other troops.”

Selena nodded, her heart pulsing in her head as she dove for her fallen sword and ripped it back up. Ruri retreated in a whirlwind of birds, giving the hybrid a bit of ground, only to force it back again. It was doing the job of distracting it, at least—but there was only so much they could do.

She swore as the hybrid swiped for her again, but was rebuffed by a screeching falcon that swooped at its face. Correction—there was only so much _she_ could do. Ruri was a whirlwind of motion and fire, her birds undulating around her like a feathery ocean whirlpool. Selena could swing her sword, and that was about it. Dammit! If only she had some kind of Blessing! If only she wasn't so useless!!

They had barely managed to extract the hybrid from the fighting, but now they were pressed into an alcove and the rest of the fighters skirted around them—even the most desperate soldier wasn't going to get close enough to this creature to go after the girls. She heard the shouting, screaming, and clanging of metal, the soft bang-bang-bang of the rare pistol among the attackers, the rush and crackle of fire and lightning from the remaining demon weapons.

She heard the shouts, too, from the Outer Priests.

“ _He's here! The Emperor fights with us!”_

“ _The Emperor has returned!”_

When she chanced brief glances at the fighting, it was only to see the surge forward, one foot after another, forcing the defending Inner Priests back. It wasn't just the numbers—the rallying cry of the Emperor's return and the knowledge that he had chosen their side seemed to have bolstered the Outer Priest's morale, and they were surging forward again and again. This fight could be over in a matter of hours if they kept up this pace towards the temple.

“Selena, Ruri!”

Selena chanced a glance over her shoulder to see Rin bolting towards them.

“Yuzu and Yuya found three of the other hybrids!” she said. “We're going to try and drive them into the temple, to find some way to confine them and keep them away from everyone else!”

Ruri nodded sharply, and with barely a flick of her fingers she sent her birds out in a rush again, herding the demon hybrid back. Selena hefted her sword but there—wasn't much for her to do, she realized. She was about as effectual as the regular soldiers had been against these beasts...

 _Do something,_ she thought at herself. _Goddamn you...where is your Blessing?_

She had to have one; the nuns had confirmed that her soul was the right wavelength to possess one, it was the only reason she had been allowed to join the champion-elect in the first place. But she still couldn't _do_ anything...

She heard Yuzu scream behind her, flipped around a little too slowly, and then the claws found her back. She let out a scream, but that was abruptly cut off as soon as she hit the ground, a good ten feet from the place she had been before. Dirt and dust crammed into her mouth, and she gasped to spit it out. She could feel the blood on her back. The world spun. She turned slightly to see Rin attacking a hybrid with her wind, saw the whirl of claws that must be Yuya in his demon form against another hybrid, birds swarming everywhere. One of the ones that Yuya and Yuzu were fighting must have...snuck up on her...

She choked as she saw the hybrid stagger towards her. Rin and Ruri and Yuzu and Yuya were all distracted by the other three, so the fourth one had managed to extract itself and come for her. She scrabbled for her sword. Where was it? Where did it go? She couldn't have even lifted it if she wanted to...

Before she could even see the claws in her line of sight, however, someone materialized out of thin air. Her blond braid hit her back as she lunged for the creature with her long glaive. It shrieked, more from surprise than anything, and dodge the attack. She spun, torn red robes swirling around her in a whirlwind, and her glaive hit the beast—bouncing off uselessly. She swore.

Selena recognized her, but only after a few moments of uncertainty. She had been one of the priestesses that had attacked them on the road, before Shizenrei. How had she gotten all this way here already?

However it had happened, her appearance had saved Selena's life. Selena staggered up to her knees. Her vision was still blurry, and she scrabbled around, looking for her blade. Where had she dropped it this time? If only she knew how to keep a better grip on her sword; that was the only thing she was qualified to do anyway—

She found it, grabbing the hilt and swaying to her feet. She spun around.

The priestess had stopped in mid swing, and—inexplicably—the hybrid had paused too. It seemed....suddenly uncertain, pacing back and forth, hissing in a choked tone. Its eyes rolled, and the priestess tightened her grip on her glaive. Her stance was tense and wary, eyes fixed on the creature. What was it hesitating for?

The creature tried to lunge forward, and then seemed to pull itself back, claws scrabbling over the stone and letting out a low, faint keen. Selena felt her heart crack slightly. Why did she feel so sad all of a sudden?

And then the priestess's grip on her glaive slipped.

“Oh _goddess_ ,” she swore. Her glaive drifted down, even as she drifted forward. Selena felt like screaming, all of a sudden. Get back...don't go...don't... The woman couldn't hear Selena's silent screams, though, and kept moving forward, her glaive dragging with one hand outstretched. The hybrid kept jumping forward and pulling itself back, as though throwing itself against an invisible wall, until she was only feet away from it.

Her hand and voice trembled.

“...Fubuki...?” she whispered.

The hybrid let out a thin, desperate sound, and against all odds, even as Selena's heart just about forced itself up her throat, it relaxed. Lank hair slipped over its eyes as it leaned its forehead forward into her palm.

Oh goddess...she knew the person who had been turned into this thing.

Was...was she calming it down? Was there anything left of the people that had been within them to appeal to? Could they...could they fix it...?

And then the entire world stopped, as another hybrid loped out of the commotion, through a rush of birds—and in slow motion, its claws went for the priestess's back.

Selena was not fast enough, and the world seemed to be made of molasses. She saw the claws rip into the woman's back, saw her eyes bulge and her mouth open, saw her hand slide off of the hybrid's face, heard the hybrid let out a feral scream and saw it leap towards the one that had attacked her, and then they both went down in a rush of claws and teeth.

The world snapped back into regular motion, and Selena stumbled forward. She dropped her sword and fumbled for the priestess's robes, trying to drag her upwards. Blood immediately stained her hands, and as soon as she turned the woman over, she knew it was too late. There was blood dribbling out of her mouth as she flexed her fingers uselessly towards something that wasn't there anymore.

“Stay with me, stay with me!” Selena begged, pressing a bloody hand to the woman's face. “Oh, goddess, please, stay with me—you have to breathe, hang on, I'll find someone who can help—”

The woman let out a thin burble, blood leaking between her lips.

“I saw him...again...” she mumbled. “I got to see him again...”

And then the light died out of her eyes, and Selena was holding a body instead of a person. She felt so heavy and slippery all of a sudden, and it was all Selena could do to hang on to her.

She heard the hybrid, the one that she had called by name, let out a long, anguished scream. It was as though he knew that she was gone.

 _Why?_ she thought hollowly. _Why does this have to happen? Why does the world have to be like this??_

Tears pooled at the edges of her eyes, and she knew she needed to drop the body, needed to get up and keep fighting. But she couldn't move. Why? Why did the woman have to die? Why did she have to die right after seeing someone she had clearly been missing for years? Why did that person have to have been turned into a demon like that in the first place, and suffer like that? Why did he have to suffer now?

Why why why why why why—

Her bracelet flickered with the light of the tiniest sliver of the crescent moon hanging low in the sunset sky. And then, all at once, everything snapped into a clear, perfect, beautiful focus.

She didn't remember standing up. She didn't remember closing the woman's eyes, and she didn't remember the blood evaporating off of her hands and robes like smoke in the wind. She didn't notice the glow that spread beneath her skin or the warmth that blossomed from her glowing bracelet.

All she knew was exactly how the universe was turning and why, and that was more than enough to occupy her brain.

She raised one hand to her side, walking slowly and purposefully towards the fighting again. She heard the screaming, the people shouting, the hybrids snarling, her friends yelling and trying to hold their plan to herd the hybrids away together.

They wouldn't have to.

She found the one that the woman had called Fubuki first. It didn't remember anything—and she knew that as much as she knew the inside of her own mind. It had sort of remembered the face of Asuka, his sister once in another life, but now that she was gone, it couldn't remember why it was so angry, and why it had gotten in a clawing match with another like it. It was in pain...and it wanted to stop. It wanted to stop attacking and fighting, but the killing was the only thing that lifted even any minuscule edge of the fear and terror that clawed inside it, fear and anger that should never have belonged to it.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered. “I'm so sorry.”

In her hand, with a flick of her fingers, light sprouted. She felt the warmth coalesce into a long thin shape—incomplete, she thought. It was still incomplete by three parts. But it would do for now.

The hybrid sighed with relief when she slid the white light sword gently through its breast. There was no pain, only relief, as the demon blood rushed out of it, leaving him human once again for a breath. He sighed against her grip, eyes fluttering shut as a smile grew briefly over his face.

There was only one thing she did not know, and that was what he saw when he died.

She hoped that it was his sister. They deserved to see each other again.

* * *

Rin felt an ache in her heart before she even turned around, and then she knew why.

Selena was glowing.

Rin had to take a pause, despite the roar of battle, despite her opponent. Even the demons hesitated. Selena approached them, her skin radiant and completely untouched by blood or scars. Her very eyes seemed to be glowing a deep, unnaturally perfect green. Rin felt like crying and she didn't know why. Her heart began to speed up the longer she looked at Selena—was it really Selena? There was something new, something different, something that made her knees want to give out. It was like someone had taken the girl that Rin had known as Selena, and made her absolutely, divinely perfect.

And resting lightly in one hand was a sword. Or, well...maybe not a sword. But it almost had the shape of one, flickering and licked at Selena's hands like it was made of white fire.

“Oh goddess,” Rin whispered, feeling her heart flutter. “Ruri—Ruri, look.”

Ruri pulled back at the feeling of Rin's hand on her shoulder, a swear forming on her lips—at least until she caught sight of Selena, and she, too, had to stop. Rin saw Ruri's hand curl up against her breast and saw tears bubble into her eyes, and Rin knew that Ruri was feeling the same thing she was. She couldn't even put a name to it—was it awe? Shock? Fear? Hope?

 _Longing_ , she decided on. It was longing. It was as though Selena's sudden glowing visage had reminded her of a hole in her heart that she hadn't been aware of before now.

Selena came before them, and once again, Rin was struck by how strange she looked—it was Selena, it was still Selena, but it was Selena made entirely perfect, and it almost hurt to look at her.

“Do I know you?” she found tumbling from her lips.

Selena's lips quirked—and it was by far the most Selena thing about whoever was standing in front of her, and Rin felt some of the haze in her head fade.

“Of course you do, you dummy,” she said.

She raised up the fiery almost-sword.

“But not as well as you used to.”

One of the hybrids launched itself at her, and she didn't even flinch. Ruri tried to call to her birds—but it was unnecessary. Selena made one perfect swing right through the beast as it arced through the air. It left no mark, it simply passed through it as though it were made of smoke.

But when the beast hit the ground again, it was demon no longer. The very human looking face let out a sigh, and relief passed over her face, before she stumbled forward and fell into Selena's arms. Selena looked briefly pained, but she helped ease the woman—or no, the body, Rin thought with a twisting stomach—to the ground.

“I don't have the power to fix them, only to release them,” Selena said. “And I don't think I'll have that power for very much longer. We're incomplete.”

She stared down briefly at her palm. Then she stood up with a jerk and whipped towards the other two.

“Selena,” Ruri whispered. “Are you....did you...?”

“I'm only half of what you think I am, and more than you know,” Selena said, and Rin didn't even know if she was talking to Selena in that moment. “But I'll have to be enough, until the rest awakens. Help me release the other two. They've suffered long enough.”

Ruri only stared for a moment, open mouthed. Then she nodded quickly, and turned back towards the other two hybrids. Rin leaped to Selena's orders too, far too shocked to do much else.

It was only then that Rin realized—Yuzu and Yuya were gone.

* * *

Yuzu couldn't account for why her chest was suddenly squeezing so tightly she thought she was going to start crying. Was it just the fighting all catching up to her? She felt...lost. Lost and empty, like she had just been brought to realize that she was missing an entire piece of herself.

“Yuya!” she called. “Yuya, wait!”

She didn't know why he had run from the hybrids. She thought that he would be distracted by them for long enough to help distract them into the temple, but something had caught his attention, making his head swing around towards the temple and bolt.

Yuzu hated leaving her friends, but she and they had decided her role was to stay as close to Yuya as possible—to do whatever she could to make sure he wouldn't wake up to something he would regret again. Her flowers were the best thing for defending him, or stopping him, as necessary. So if Yuya was headed for the temple, she had to stay with him.

The gates crumbled under his claws, and she leaped through the hole he left. She heard priests screaming in front of them, but when they threw themselves off the paths and hid behind corners, Yuya ignored them. Whatever he was angling for, it was inside the temple itself.

He crashed through the doors to the inner sanctum, and hesitated in the hall, sniffing at the air like some kind of confused animal.

Yuzu's chest squeezed again for no reason, and as though he were sensing the same thing, he swung his head behind him, looking past her. He let out the thinnest, faintest moan.

“ _Ray,”_ he whispered. _“You're here...”_

He squeezed his eyes shut then, mumbling to himself.

“ _No—not yet. Can't see you yet...I have to...who am I...?”_

He sounded so lost and uncertain. And then, whatever had drawn him in seemed to catch his attention again, and he darted down the halls. Yuzu followed after him with her heart pumping in her chest.

What exactly was Yuya when he got like this? He was violent, aggressive, reactive—but there was something else within him too. Something scared. Was he...actually the demon? Or was there something else? Whatever it was didn't seem to know much either—it was like he was...fragmented. Little bits and pieces all scattered around in a human body.

 _I want to understand_ , she thought at Yuya, as he broke through another door and lead them into a large throne room, loping up the stairs and behind the throne. _I want to...I want to know. I want to understand your feelings. Not just Yuya's but yours...whoever you are. I want to understand._

Her bracelet warmed faintly against her wrist, but when she looked down, there wasn't any sign of a glow. She edged carefully through the darkness, feeling her way after Yuya. Her eyes adjusted slowly, and she saw him then, a shape pushing through a mangled iron door behind the throne, and heading down the stairs. Gripping her sword, she followed him down.

These tunnels were dark...so dark. It was all Yuzu could do to keep her feet on the steps in front of her, following Yuya's straight, tense back that loomed beneath her in the dark.

She was so focused on counting steps on the stairs that she didn't realize Yuya had stopped moving until he did. She almost ran into him, swearing as she flattened her sword against her to prevent herself from poking him. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but no sound came out.

He was running his fingers almost thoughtfully across the stone walls, tracing against the cracks of the stone blocks. He was human, she realized. He wasn't in his demon form all of a sudden. Her bracelet warmed around her wrist again, but it did not glow.

“This is the place they dragged me,” he murmured. “This is the place they took me every night, no matter how much I screamed for mercy.”

His voice was...it was Yuya's and yet it wasn't. It must be the god with the golden eyes, she thought, and that was confirmed when he turned slightly, eyes glittering back over his shoulder. He looked human again, but there was no way that he was. Although his skin was pale and fleshy again, there was...there was almost some kind of light that skittered just under his skin, a presence that made her catch her breath. Something about him seemed, all at once, a little too perfect; his face a little too smooth and angled, eyes a little too pure, stance a little too light and graceful.

She didn't feel the terrifying presence of death pressing in on her like she did when Yuya was in an angry demon rage, but there was still a pressure, crushing in on her lungs ever so slightly. Not with the feeling of death, but the feeling of endings. She felt cold and small under his gaze—if there had been any doubt that Yuya hosted the remains of a god in his blood, it was gone, now. Her blood recognized him for what he was.

“This is where they hurt me,” he said, just as casually as though he were speaking about the weather, and her blood shuddered at the sound of his voice. It did not sound wrong, like Mieru's, or like Yuya's did when he was deep within the throes of a rage. It sounded _too_ right, and Yuzu felt tears bubbling in her eyes just at the sound of it. “This is the place where they tortured me. Where I decided that I wanted nothing more than to rip them all to shreds.”

He turned, and she flinched in spite of herself. She was higher up on the stairs than him, and yet she still felt like he was staring down at her. It happened so smoothly that she didn't notice him moving her until he had her fenced in against the wall, arms pressing to the stone on either side.

Briefly, he played one finger down her cheek, as though curious at the feel of her skin. Her throat was so tight, but she managed to get the words out anyway.

“Who...who exactly are you...?”

He hesitated, fingers hovering over her cheek. His fingers returned to his own face, as though he were testing the feel of his skin in comparison to hers.

“I am...Yuya,” he said. “But I am also Yuto, Yugo, Yuuri, and perhaps one other, one whose name we've almost forgotten. He was angry, too. We might have been just as angry as him without all of this, but we might not have. We don't know. We were refused the option to choose how to feel about what we were.”

He let out a thin breath, and his air felt hot against her forehead.

“And who are you?” he said, looking her over. “Because we have a name on our lips and we know it's not yours. We don't know that we remember where the name comes from.”

His hand slid down her arm, but there was nothing predatory about the motion, only curious. He loosely wrapped his fingers around her wrist, lifting it up to look at the gem around her wrist.

“Y-Yuzu,” Yuzu gasped. “I'm Yuzu.”

He breathed in, as though he were breathing in the sound of her name.

“Not Ray, then,” he murmured. “Not Ray....yet. We smell her, though...she's close...”

Ray—that was a name she had heard him say before. He stepped away from her then and released her wrist. A space breathed in between them.

“Who are you?” Yuzu asked again.

He looked down at the floor, and Yuzu realized that...perhaps, whoever she was talking to didn't know either.

“We're what's left,” he said. “At least, we would be if we had been given the chance to learn about ourselves.”

He stared down at his hands then.

A sound screeched out from below them, somewhere in the temple, and Yuzu gasped, clutching at her sword and turning towards it. It echoed briefly, and faded. She didn't move. Her muscles twinged with tension.

“And what do you think?” he whispered.

She flinched, more from shock at the sudden sound than at him. She glanced at him quickly.

“What do I think about what?” she asked.

His golden eyes pierced into her, and she felt, for a moment, that he could see every corridor into her mind, even the places that she did not know about.

“What do you think about humans?” he said. “Do you think they should disappear?”

Her breath caught. He kept talking.

“We've seen nothing but hate towards us,” he continued, hissing slightly—but there was a pain behind his words, a shaking fear. “We've known little but pain in our few, precious waking moments. We've seen them leering down at us, unfeeling, as they pump poison into our veins, or blades into our flesh, forcing us into carnage to defend ourselves only to fall into their blades again.”

His voice cracked, and Yuzu realized...he was scared. The demon within Yuya was _scared_.

“We wanted to kill them,” he whispered. “All we remember—all we remember is anger, a desire to destroy and—and a sadness. We don't know where it comes from. It must come from them. We—we won't be able to rest until they're all gone. No one will be able to rest until every last wretched human is wiped from the face of the earth—”

Yuzu didn't think. She just moved. Her sword clattered to the ground, and she heard him gasp as he threw her arms around him, and they both swayed, almost losing their footing on the stairs.

He froze in her arms—he was hot beneath her, she realized. He pulsed with heat and warmth beyond what Yuya should have on his own.

“That's not true,” she said. “That's—that's not all there is to humanity.”

She tucked her head against his arm, tears bubbling in her eyes.

“What about me? Do you want to kill me too?”

She felt him flinch.

“You didn't try to kill me, back that time when we...when we met for the first time,” she said. “You didn't kill me then.”

“That's—that's because we didn't know you were human,” he said. “We thought you were...someone else...”

“You're scared,” she whispered. “I get it. You've been so badly hurt. But you've had the bad luck to only meet the worst of humanity.”

She looked up at him again, not releasing him.

“You don't want to kill me, do you?” she said.

His lips parted, and he actually broke her gaze, despite the fire and power in his own eyes.

“We...you don't want to hurt us...”

“Not everyone wants to hurt you,” she said. “You said that you're Yuya, right? You're Yuya and Yuto and Yugo and Yuuri. Do you remember any of the things that they remember? Do you remember the people who've helped you? Who've fought alongside you?”

He moaned softly, closing his eyes and rubbing at them with one hand.

“It hurts to remember,” he mumbled. “It hurts.”

“Try,” she said. “Try just a little bit.”

He shook his head, tears leaking between his lashes. Even like this, he seemed so eerily perfect, making Yuzu shudder to even touch him.

“We want to hate them,” he whispered. “We want to to hate them—but if we remember, if we think about it and remember, it’s—it’s too hard to.”

Yuzu cupped his cheek gently.

“There are so many bad people in the world,” she said. “But there are good ones, too. There are people who will fight with you and for you. There are people who love you already, even if this you hasn't met them yet.”

She released him so that she could grab his hand, pressing it between hers.

“Please don't give up on humanity,” she said. “Please...not like this. There are bad people, but it's the good ones that will stay with you, and fight the bad ones away.”

He opened his eyes again and studied her, hesitating. Then he closed his eyes.

“We will...try...” he mumbled.

A shriek pulsed through the halls again, and Yuzu felt Yuya's hand go suddenly cold.

“But not today,” he hissed. “Stay behind us again, where we will not see you. Our anger is returning. We can smell him below—he is one that we will not spare.”

An animalistic hiss released from his lips as his eyes went a full deep red again, and she let go of him. She grabbed her sword from the stairs and darted behind him.

His demon form returned, crawling across his skin and sealing him once more in gray and scales. He dropped to all fours and loped down the stairs. Yuzu had to run to keep up.

He knew exactly where to go, taking the turns and twists of the labyrinth with ease, and forcing Yuzu to scramble to keep up. He didn't even stop for the heavy iron door at the end, slamming through it as though it were made of paper. Yuzu hopped through the curled, bent edges of the mangled door, her sword upraised.

Yuya had frozen inside, hissing and drooling on the floor, pacing back and forth before a line of chain on the ground. Yuzu's heart leaped. That was the kind of chain used to hold him back in Rayglen. He didn't seem able to cross over it.

“Oh good, you've finally arrived. I was beginning to think I'd just have to kill him.”

Yuzu's eyes snaked across the huge, round room, snapping past the strange grooves carved across the floor to the man who stood in the middle.

This couldn't be anyone other than Roger, Yuzu thought, and judging by the absolute feral rage overtaking Yuya, it must be him. He was an odious looking man, with a sallow face and mussed blond hair, eyes narrow and cunning. Her heart clenched. And he had a hostage, it looked like. He was gripping a young man by his frizzy orange hair, ignoring his weak struggles to get free. The boy made a desperate noise through the cloth shoved in his mouth, eyes wide as he stared across at Yuya.

“Oh dear, you're in your demon rage—I'm actually surprised you managed to make it down here,” Roger said. “Are you able to understand anything I say, runt?”

Yuya hissed, spraying the floor with his acidic spit.

“ _I'll rip you to fucking pieces you worthless piece of human flesh—”_

“Yes, yes, there isn't much you can say that I haven't heard before.”

He shook his hostage by the hair, humming.

“You know, once we get you worked up, you have trouble staying on target,” he said. “I wonder—if I removed that chain from keeping you from approaching, and threw him in front of me, would you be distracted enough to kill him first? Even though you like him so much while you're lucid.”

Yuya lunged forward, but was forced back again by the loop of chain that kept him from going down into the lower pit. Yuzu felt sick—was he right? Would Yuya kill the boy instead of Roger if he was in the way?

“What an ending for you, boy,” Roger said to his hostage, shaking him by the hair and bringing tears to his eyes. “Ripped to pieces by the only person you called a 'friend,' and used as a distraction to lock him up again, after you spent so much effort in releasing him.”

Roger was distracted by Yuya—could Yuzu slip around, free the hostage, and get the chain out of the way to let Yuya through?

And then Roger's eyes flickered, and his gaze found her. He looked surprised.

“Well, you're losing your touch. A rat has followed you down here, and she's looking particularly un-ripped to shreds.”

Yuya tried to lunge forward again and hiss. Yuzu tightened her grip on her sword.

“Let him go,” she said. “You should know better than anyone that Yuya can kill you easily in this state.”

“Yuya?” the man echoed. “My goodness. You know him by name.”

He gave her a quick once-over.

“Odd company you've found, runt,” he said to Yuya, without taking his eyes off of Yuzu. “A Rayglen acolyte? Is she helping you retrieve your friend on the condition that she murder you and stop you from killing any more poor, defenseless people?”

He had a terribly simpering sound of voice, and Yuzu felt her blood boil.

And then she heard the hiss behind her, and whipped around almost too slowly. The other hybrid.

She threw herself out the way as the hybrid lunged at her. Her sword loosed from her fingers while she rolled to skid back to her feet. Yuya's eyes whipped around towards the hybrid, and he let out an angry screech. He shot for it, and immediately, both fell into a pile of flashing claws and teeth.

Yuzu lurched to her feet again. She could—at least rescue Yuya's friend!

She leaped over the chain easily, hoping the distraction of Yuya and the hybrid's fight would distract Roger.

She skidded to a stop, however, when she saw Roger holding the needle to his hostage's neck.

“Careful,” Roger said. “Those two aren't the only demons in this room, goddess's pet.”

Yuzu's heart hammered. She didn't know what that syringe was, but she was certain it wasn't good.

“Did you know, after much experimentation, I've learned how to refine the technique for creating hybrids,” he said. “A single prick of this could potentially turn this boy into another hybrid himself—or it would kill him. I'm not entirely sure which.”

And then a slow, dangerous smile passed over his face.

“Or instead,” he said, and before Yuzu could even make a move, he took the syringe away from the boy's neck and stabbed it into his own neck. She felt a strangled noise escape her throat, but she wasn't even positive what kind of feeling was shooting through her.

Yuzu felt like she was about to pass out.

Oh _goddess_.

 


	54. FIFTY-FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Wretched Weaponry [Calm]](https://youtu.be/xRHsEWIC8PI)

**** Roger crumpled.

His hostage wobbled forward, hopping to catch himself, and Yuzu immediately shot towards him, grabbing him around the shoulders and pulling him quickly away from the body on the ground. She yanked the cloth out of the boy's mouth first, holding him as he coughed. Then she slit the ropes from his wrists and helped guide him to a sitting position.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

But his eyes were fixed on the body on the floor.

“No way it's that simple,” he mumbled. “No way that man just—offs himself that easily. There's no way.”

“It must not have been the right formula, it must have been a failure, like he said it could be,” Yuzu said.

The boy let out a rough cough that might have been a laugh.

“If he had had any doubt that it wouldn't work, he would have used it on me,” he said, face white. “He wouldn't have risked himself—”

“You're very perceptive, Dennis,” the voice rose up from the floor.

Yuzu swore, grabbing her sword again and jumping in front of Dennis, one arm up to protect him. Roger was rising to his feet again, and—Yuzu felt like throwing up. He wasn't human anymore, but he wasn't a hybrid, either. Gray was growing across his skin, but it wasn't the cracked earth skin that Yuya had; it was smooth and pearly as though he were entirely covered in scales. His eyes had turned a deep, blackish red like glowing embers in a dying fire, and red, glowing marks grew down from his eyes like tear tracks. When he smiled at them, his lips were full of fangs, and Yuzu shrank back.

_ Wrong _ , her brain thought. It was like when she had seen the golden eyes staring out of Yuya, but instead of terrifying perfection, this man was  _ wrong _ , utterly  _ wrong _ , it made her feel sick and dizzy just to look at him. He wasn't like the hybrids, he was absolutely totally and irrevocably wrong, something that shouldn't exist in this world and her brain couldn't wrap around it. Dennis made a retching sound behind her, but it was clear he didn't have anything in his stomach to throw up.

Roger looked over his hands briefly, as though judging the pearly scales and the long, elegant black claws.

“Well,” he purred, and his voice sounded like nails grating down a chalkboard. “That worked even better than I expected.”

He grinned at Yuzu again, and Yuzu backed up, grabbing Dennis under the arm and heaving him to his feet.

“Go out the back hall,” she said. “Go out that way, Yuya and I can take care of this.”

“You can’t fight him,” Dennis said, gripping at her. “I'm telling you, you can't fight him, you absolutely cannot fight him—”

“I don't have a choice! I'm not leaving Yuya!”

“Neither am I—not again, never again, I can't leave him either—”

Roger let out a thin, echoing laugh that stuck out even above the hiss and snarl of Yuya and the hybrid's fight.

“Such noble young people the runt has found to follow him into death,” he sneered. “But I have no use for either of you.”

He smiled again and Yuzu felt sick. His tongue was black when it flicked out over his lips.

“It's taken several very long years of injecting myself with small amounts of enchanted blood to achieve this.” He began walking forward, slowly, leisurely, knowing that he had all the time in the world. “You have to admire my persistence, at least. Years of testing on the hybrids, years more of testing on my priests, and finally on myself to achieve this form.”

“I'll admire your guts plastered to the wall,” she hissed, her anger spiking. “You tortured him for this—you fucking tortured him for this.”

Roger simply laughed, continuing to advance. Yuzu kept backing up, Dennis clinging to her back as they moved.

“And I have to admit, it was quite the stress-reliever, in between all the trouble he put me through,” he said. “I'll enjoy putting him back on the slab and replenishing my blood supply—he won't be needed for public affairs anymore, after all. Not when I present myself as the awakened form of the Emperor.”

Yuzu's blood boiled, but she still felt that horrible, wrenching sickness just being in his presence, so she kept moving backwards, making space.

“I can just leave him down here on the altar for the rest of his miserable existence,” he said, hissing each word with a horrible smile. “Leave him chained here just to keep my blood supply full—after all, I can't be bleeding myself for it, now can I?”

Yuzu couldn't take it—her blood was boiling and she felt so angry she could hardly see.

“You'll never touch him again!” she screamed, flinging herself forward.

He only laughed. The world spun and twisted so quickly that she couldn't see, and she tasted blood in her mouth even before she hit the floor.

She couldn't move. She could just lay there, arms sprawled out on either side of her, stunned. She heard a plaintive cry and a thunk, and she knew that Roger must have flung Dennis next. She...she had to get up...she had to protect him...he was Yuya's friend, she had to protect him...

But Roger appeared looming over her, next, and her blood turned into ice.

“So this is all Rayglen can offer?” he said. “I don't know why I feared them all those years.”

She could only gasp as he grabbed her by one pigtail, dragging her up. His claws rested just under her throat—tears bubbled to her eyes in spite of herself. She still couldn't force movement into her arms.

“So easy,” he murmured. “Is this why he wants to destroy so much when he's in that state? There is so much power...it would be so  _ easy _ to slit your throat and feel the barest resistance.”

Yuzu could only hang uselessly, dangling painfully from his grip.

“Since it seems to hurt you so much, and I don't have to fear you, perhaps I'll tell you in more detail exactly what I plan to do with precious Yuya after you're dead,” Roger hissed. “Should I tell you about how he squirmed and screamed and begged for mercy while I carved runes into his skin?”

In the middle of her tears, her head began to pound with anger.

“Do you want to hear the way he cowered when I entered the room—how much power I had over the so-called god of destruction by simply raising my hand back to strike?”

She managed to lift her hands weakly, scrabbling at his hand in her hair. If he would just let go—if she could just get her sword—

“What about the time I locked him in a cell with the hybrids, a full hour before his transformation was set to strike? The way he screamed and clawed at the doors for rescue that wasn't coming as the hybrids tore into him over and over—”

Yuzu wasn't even sure if this was all her anger. She didn't feel like she had enough space inside her for all of it.

“YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN!”

The voice that ripped out of her throat wasn't even entirely hers, she felt. It didn't feel like hers, it was made of too many breaking waves and roaring winds and exploding stars. Roger actually flinched, releasing her, and Yuzu spun. She didn't know where the sword came from, it just came. Roger shrieked—Yuzu's blade cut right through him like butter, and his blood sprayed over her face. She darted back—there was so much lightness in her limbs, so much buzzing in her head.

“You little  _ bitch _ !” he shrieked.

His skin was knitting itself together, about as quickly as Yuya's did. He was—fucking goddess, he was immortal too.

Yuzu whited out again, but this time, it wasn't from her own feelings—it was coming from somewhere else, she thought. It wasn't hers, but it was rushing through her so powerfully that she felt like she was going to throw up. White hot anger pulsed through her.

_ How DARE you, how DARE you touch him, how DARE you do this to him, how DARE you how DARE you how DARE YOU— _

Her bracelet was burning into her skin—it was tight. It was too tight, it was going to cut off the circulation, or melt into her skin and become a part of her.

Roger actually drew back, his eyes locked onto hers. Yuya and the hybrid hesitated too, then, and Yuzu could feel Yuya staring at her—not quite golden eyed yet, but almost. He was watching her closely, as though...waiting for something.

“What... _ are _ you?” he hissed.

Yuzu could only breathe. She wouldn't have had an answer to give if she had known it.

* * *

Ruri spun on her heels, conducting her birds with her sword like they were her deadly orchestra, swooping and clawing and pecking at eyes and hands. She had lost so many already, and it hurt. She could feel every loss and she sent out waves of apology to them.

_ You don't have to fight with us any longer _ , she told them.  _ You don't—please don't think that you have to fight with us. _

_ We want to, _ they called back.  _ We want to we want to we want to. _

Ruri bit back tears and continued to fight.

Selena had already removed the last of the hybrids. Ruri felt sick, having seen them turn into humans as soon as Selena's sword cut through them. Selena had seemed sad, but in a distant sort of way.

“ _ They're free now,” _ she had whispered.  _ “It was all I could do for them.” _

And then she had keeled forward, caught in Rin's arms, and her fiery sword shape dissipated.

“I'll take her to safety,” Rin had said, dragging her away from the fight.

Ruri was getting tired. She didn't want to fight anymore...she didn't want to see the death and blood. She didn't want to feel the cries of sorrow from her birds as yet another one fell to a stray arrow.

“Ruri!”

Ruri only realized she had stumbled when she did, and arms gripped her from behind.

“Ruri, are you all right?”

“S-Shun,” she mumbled. “That's you, right?”

Shun caught her under the arms, pulling her back.

“Damn you,” he muttered. “I should have been here with you from the beginning. Why didn't you wait for me?”

“You...you're Kaito's first warrior,” Ruri said, suddenly realizing how dizzy she was. She had overextended her Blessing today, and she had to press a hand to her forehead. “You need to be fighting at his side.”

“Kaito can do fine on his own and you know that,” Shun said. He leaned her up against him, drawing her to the side of the fight. His huge bow rested lightly in one hand, almost as tall as she was. “Where are the hybrids? You said you and Rin were going to target them.”

“Dead,” Ruri said, her voice sounding distant even to her. “Selena...Selena released them.”

“Released them...?” Shun said.

He seemed to catch the exhaustion in her eyes, and didn't press.

“You should retreat,” he said. “If the hybrids are gone, your mission is over. You need to retreat.”

Ruri shook her head.

“We want to fight,” she said. “We...we all want to fight.”

She reached her hands out towards her birds, in a longing sort of way. Shun wrapped his arms around her.

“You've done enough,” he said gently. “You've done enough.”

Ruri crumpled into her brother's arms, exhausted in spite of herself. Maybe...maybe she could stop. Maybe she could really stop.

And then she caught a small movement in the crowd. Something so tiny, that she shouldn't have seen it in the middle of all of the fighting. She saw a priest, red robes shifting under their hand ducking inside it, and withdrawing what looked like a small syringe. She leaned forward, mouth opening. What were they doing? She should warn someone, send a bird after them to take the mysterious syringe—

The priest twisted their arm up towards their own neck, and plunged the syringe into their skin. They immediately crumpled to the ground, and Ruri choked on a scream. What was going on—mass suicide??

_ No _ , she thought with horror, watching the woman stagger to her feet again—only she was covered in thin, pearly gray scales, marked with deep red, glowing runes. They were hybrids—but they weren't, she thought. What  _ were _ they?

She stopped thinking about what they were when the first sword bounced uselessly off of her shoulder and the first spray of blood met their claws. She heard screams rising up from other parts of the fight throughout the city. She ducked into the eyes of her birds to scan the world from above.

“Oh goddess,” she swore. “There are so many of them—there are at least twenty of them, they're—oh goddess.”

“What? What do you see, Ruri?” Shun said.

She pointed, and he followed her eyes. Faster than she could blink, he released her, drew an arrow to his bow, and released it.

The arrow flew straight and true even through the crowd and surge of battle, and the arrow lodged right in the woman's head. She dropped like a stone.

“They look frightening, but that's all,” Shun said. “Ruri, that's it, it's only an illusion, it's—”

“No,” Ruri mumbled. “No it's not.”

The woman staggered back to her feet, ripping the arrow out of her head. The wound sealed up and her eyes regrew from where the arrow had ruined them, and uncertain of where the blow had come from, she simply used the arrow to stab hard into the side of the nearest person, driving it through with enough force to get all the way through their body with one strike.

“They're new hybrids,” Ruri said. “Oh goddess, Shun, they're new hybrids, what do we do?”

Yuya and Yuzu were nowhere to be seen, and Selena's new power was gone.

The birds reacted to her fear, surging upwards in a black pillar.

“NO!” she screamed, hearing their intent too late. It was far too late—they dove down at the woman, pelting her in a whirlwind of beaks and claws and feathers. She felt them dying—felt the demon ripping through them easily, barely feeling their strikes but for brief ripples of irritating pain, felt her beautiful birds dropping one after the other onto the ground, dead or almost dead.

“They were trying to fight for me, Shun, it's my fault, they were fighting for me!”

She didn't realize she had been trying to throw herself against Shun's arms until he was pinning her to the wall.

“There's nothing you can do—Ruri, there's nothing you can do!”

Ruri let out a scream as she felt them dying. She needed—she needed to do something! Why couldn't she protect them?? She wanted to protect them, her beautiful birds who were so desperate to protect her—

Her bracelet began to burn.

_ I'm supposed to be the one protecting them—I should be protecting them! _

Her mind clicked.

Shun swore as he was forced to release her from the sudden burst of heat that rolled off of her skin. She gasped slightly—oh, goddess. The world was...the world was  _ beautiful _ . She could feel the very breath of the earth beneath her, sense the skitter of mice in the ground underneath her feet. She could smell the breath of her birds and feel their life fires burning in her own breast—she was a part of this, she thought with awe. She was a part of all of this. She could feel the people, too, could feel their beautiful fires leaping and dancing with life. They were so alive! The world was so alive!

All except for the strange, warped hunk of coal instead of fire that belonged to the strange, wrong demon people. They were not alive—not in the way they should be. They were not a part of this world anymore—they had rejected it.

She thrust her arm out to her side. At the back of her mind, she heard Selena sigh. She could sense her friend as clearly as though the girl were right beside her, as though her heart beat in time with hers. There was a space, though, she thought. There was space still, for two more hearts. She didn't understand—Selena might. She would have to ask Selena.

But for now, she had to protect her birds.

Ruri darted forward, not hearing Shun's cry but feeling his life fire flicker with fear. The sword that rippled into her hand was not complete, she thought, but she didn't know much about that.

The demon swung her head towards Ruri as she approached.

“Why do you want death so much?” Ruri asked, softly.

The woman only sneered, and lunged for her.

Ruri didn't really feel bad when she tilted the blade into the woman's breast and struck through. Immediately, the demon parts of her dissolved, and she slumped, passing through the blade and onto the ground. There were more, Ruri thought. There were a lot more. She had to keep fighting.

For her birds, for the world, and for all of the beautiful life fires all around her.

  
  



	55. FIFTY-FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Ifuu Doudou](https://youtu.be/ExYaB9Ybq04)

****_ I'm useless,  _ Rin thought.  _ I'm actually really useless. _

She couldn't count how many times she had had that thought in her life. Ever since she had been eight years old, and Yugo had been crying in a corner because one of the matrons had denied him food because he hadn't brought home enough scrap, and they had beat her when she tried to sneak her own food to Yugo, she had felt it. Useless. Too useless to stop the priests from taking Yugo. Too useless to do much more than crack snark at the girls during training. Too useless to escape the convent. Too useless to remember that she had been an experiment to warn the others. Too useless to rescue Yugo on her own.

And now she was too useless to do anything.

She peered through the window of the broken down building that she had taken refuge in with the unconscious Selena. Selena was still...strange, Rin thought, even in sleep. Something about her had bloomed, and while she wasn't too perfect to look at anymore, she seemed to have settled into the perfect version of herself. It made Rin's heart ache with longing.

She had seen Selena cut through those hybrids, sending relief over their dying faces, so easily. She had been radiant. How had she been able to do that? Was she...was she the goddess's chosen champion? Had she come into her own? Was the beautiful sword she had wielded the goddess sword? But what about the one that was in the shrine?

Rin let out a thin, awed breath as she felt that ache in her chest again, and she looked down to see....Ruri. Ruri was glowing and radiant, her hair whipping around her head as she wielded a sword like Selena's, only perhaps a little more solid than the one before, a little less wavering like fire. She stabbed through the heart of a woman with gray scales, and the woman's demon form dissipated. Ruri shot onward into the fight, but even in the surge of people, Rin could track her and her radiant, perfect form.

_ Two champions? _ Rin thought.  _ Can there be two?? Or is this something else? _

Rin tried to follow Ruri through the fight, but she disappeared around a row of buildings, probably to fight more of those new demons. Rin gripped the window frame. She hadn't been any use against the hybrids, she hadn't been any use against these demons, all she could do was get Selena to safety and just sit here babysitting.

_ I want to do something _ , she thought, her throat dry with self anger.  _ Why can't I affect any of this? _

She had to at least rejoin the fighting. She had to at least do what she could against the human enemy. If she could do anything, anything at all! She wouldn't feel so useless! But could she leave Selena here alone...?

“It's up here, I can sense it, burning!”

“But what about the one down there?”

“Demons, if there are two, I'll claw my own throat out—come on, we have to get rid of it.”

Rin choked on her own air. Voices—on the stairs outside. She grabbed her sword and vaulted over Selena on the floor, taking up a place in between Selena and the voices outside.

The door crumbled into a pile of matchsticks under the claws of the two demon creatures who forced their way through. Rin felt horribly sick just looking at them—they didn't belong in the world around them, it was like they had been cut and pasted out of something else and into the background, but poorly and with crinkled edges.

Ember-colored eyes leered at her as they hesitated, their black tongues flicking over their twin sets of fangs.

“There's two,” one of them said to the other.

“That one's not burning me,” the other hissed. “Just kill her. Get rid of the one that's burning.”

Rin sucked in a breath. Selena—they must be talking about Selena. In this new form, was she able to attract these demon creatures? She tightened her grip on her sword.

“Stay back!” she said, wind whipping up around her. “Keep away from her!”

“Kill her, get her out of the way,” the taller one said to the shorter one, and the shorter demon slouched inside. Rin let out a screech, using her wind to push her forward with extra speed. Her sword pierced the demon's breast with some difficulty, and got stuck halfway through. The demon shrieked and Rin's vision sparked when they cuffed her across the head. She hit the far wall so hard that she felt her shoulder crack, and it was a wonder that she hadn't shattered the wall itself.

The demon ripped the sword out of its chest with another shriek.

“I thought it wouldn't hurt anymore,” it growled, lips curling.

“We're immortal, not invincible,” the taller one said. “Get over it—it's already healing.”

The taller one slid into the room, making its way for Selena. Oh goddess, please no—why couldn't Rin get strength in her arms? She just—she wanted to do something. She just didn't want to be useless, she didn't want to have to sit here and watch while Selena died—

Her bracelet burst with heat, and two pairs of demon eyes snapped to her.

For a brief moment, the entire world wavered. Rin could sense it, could sense the forces that held it all together—she could almost smell the spaces between the atoms that made up everything, could feel the buzz of her own skin and the chemicals that made it up. She could see everything, like an aura, see the way the world was put together and sense it all buzzing and moving and alive.

She briefly shied away. This was—this was too much! She didn't want this. She didn't want this!!

She caught sight of Selena again, and she thought of Yugo, scared, lonely Yugo, who had died because she wasn't strong enough to protect him. She thought of the people outside all fighting against these demon creatures, who felt just as useless as she did, but probably worse.

She couldn't say no.

This was hers to accept.

She let out a thin breath, and then the power all rushed in, filling in gaps she didn't know she had.

Her sword was almost pure diamond white like solid glass, swinging easily through the air and passing through the demons without leaving a mark. They both dropped to the ground, human and dead before they hit the floor.

Rin's head pulsed. She could sense Ruri, who had had to release the sword about two minutes ago due to exhaustion. She'd need it again, though, so Rin released it. There were far more demons out where Ruri was than where Rin was.

Rin cast one glance at Selena. She could sense Selena, and knew then that she wasn't as helpless as she looked, even unconscious. She could leave her here, she'd be fine.

Rin vaulted out the window, catching herself on her wind, and feeling every tiny bit of the force that was used to create it. Her skin buzzed with her new senses and powers, and she almost giggled.

Useless? Not anymore.

* * *

These were too close of quarters, Yuzu thought as she flung another desperate batch of seeds at Roger, causing flowers to burst in his eyes. He shrank back from them, but more from surprise than anything else. He didn't react with fear to them like the hybrids had. Yuzu didn't have room to move—but she also couldn't leave here, because Yuya was still wrestling with the other hybrid, and Dennis was unconscious along the far wall. She couldn't leave either of them; she couldn't be sure that Roger would follow her.

“Your struggles are more irritating than anything,” Roger hissed. “I'll make certain you die before I do anything else, acolyte.”

“Catch me first,” Yuzu gasped.

“With  _ pleasure _ .”

He was so  _ fast _ ! Too fast! It was taking everything Yuzu had just to dodge. Her anger wasn't enough to keep her going—but she had to do something. She had to find a way to kill him, or at least contain him, so he couldn't hurt Yuya ever again. She tripped when her heel landed on something that slid under her, and she went down. That had actually been lucky, as Roger stumbled when he shot for where she had been. Yuzu's hands scrabbled for whatever had tripped her—the chain!

She grabbed it and yanked it hard towards her, dragging most of it to her. As Roger recovered from overshooting, she flung it at his face.

He shrieked, an angry burn mark growing from where the chain had touched him. It began to heal almost immediately, but Yuzu had already learned what she needed to know—in this form, Roger was now susceptible to the same things that hurt Yuya.

She grabbed the chain again, flinging it against his chest, then flinging her hands forward with vines sprouting from around her wrist to stab on the other sides of the chains, trying to pull them in a loop around Roger. But he was still too strong for her. He shook the chain off, and took advantage of her momentary breath to step over it and shoot for her. His hand latched around her throat.

“It's too bad he won't cry watching you die when he's like this,” Roger hissed. “I'll leave your body somewhere for him to find when he wakes up, and tell him that he killed you.”

Yuzu's mind snapped with rage.

She felt every single flower all around her, every fallen seed, and she pushed on them all at once.

Roger had only the time to let out a huff of surprise as her vines sprouted everywhere, thickening to far beyond what their normal sizes should be able to achieve. Yuzu was already feeling dizzy and dehydrated from overuse of her Blessing, but she didn't have time to think about that. The entire room began to shake as her flowers stabbed up into the ceiling, bringing down debris with them. She stumbled free of Roger's hands. He had to release her to dodge the crumbling ceiling, and Yuzu bolted for the unconscious Dennis. She yanked his arms over her shoulders, and then leaped onto a blossom that was far too large for its species, letting it grow rapidly beneath her and leading her up into the ceiling above. She sent another blossom to scoop up Yuya, dragging him up with her.

Roger screeched below them—he would follow, she knew it. Yuya was shrieking and struggling, but he seemed to be wary of trying to cross the petals, and it was enough to shock him into staying still until Yuzu was able to crash them through the ceiling and up into the temple above.

_ We're near the courtyard, _ Yuzu thought, her throat dry.  _ So that was our orientation under ground. _

She dragged Dennis to the side of the torn up ground, having her blossom dump Yuya onto the ground on the other side. Dennis to safety first, and then she could focus on supporting Yuya. Dennis stirred in her grip, but he didn't awaken.

Yuzu gasped when the hybrid launched itself up through the broken ground. Had it scaled up her blossom stalks? They were strong enough for that, at least—

Roger appeared next, clearly having dragged himself up at an incredible speed after it. Yuzu flung Dennis behind her, but her sword was gone, and when she thrust her hands forward, she couldn't even get the tiniest spark of flowers to come to her.

He grabbed her by the collar, her legs kicking as he dragged her from the ground.

“Out of ideas, aren't you?” Roger spat into her face.

Yuya tackled him from behind.

Yuzu went tumbling to the ground and rolled. By the time she had spat the dirt out of her mouth and gotten back to her knees, Roger was already shrieking and hissing just as feral as Yuya, and Yuya was forcing him back step by step through the crumbling walls of the temple courtyard. Yuzu could see spurts of people fighting out in the square, saw them look up and blanch with horror. Everyone scattered at the sight of Yuya's flashing eyes, the too-fast-to-see fighting between him and Roger.

The courtyard was empty, and Yuzu had to think that everyone had fled. She pulled Dennis behind a bench to hide him, but she didn't have time for much else. He was sort of coming to himself, and she squeezed his hand, pressing one of her two emergency daggers into his hand.

“Stay here!” she said. “Stay here!”

He could only nod dizzily, and then she bolted out into the square.

The fighting had almost entirely stopped to watch Roger and Yuya—she couldn't blame them, it was mesmerizing. Mesmerizing in the same way a horribly mutilated corpse was, at least.

Blood splattered the ground from every rip of claws and teeth, the pair of them circling and cutting and darting back and forth against each other. They weren't able to take any ground from the other, snapping and snarling like real demons at each other.

“I own you, boy,” Roger screeched at him, still apparently in more control of himself than Yuya was—although he didn't seem to have noticed where they were, at least not yet. He was too distracted by Yuya. “I own you! I'll rip you into little pieces when we're done with this farce!”

Yuya just snarled at him.

“ _ I'll kill you, rip you up, destroy you, you're wrong you don't belong in this world I'll kill every single human—” _

Yuzu staggered to her feet, but there was nothing she could do except watch. There was nothing at all that she could do. She saw Yuya's teeth stained with blood, flesh in his claws, and she felt sick. This wasn't Yuya. This couldn't be Yuya.

Couldn't she do something?

“You'll wish you had found a way to die when I'm done with you,” Roger hissed. “I can continue like this for _days_ , runt! You'll be back to your old weak self once the episode ends!”

Yuzu wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not, but she thought she might have seen Yuya flinch. Thought she might have seen a bit of fear crawl through his eyes.

_ He's still scared _ , she realized.  _ He's scared, and Roger's right—Roger will win if it's going to be a battle of attrition. And—and he'll hurt Yuya again. _

Yuzu's stomach roiled with bile at the thought, remembering all of Roger's horrible words about the things that he had done to Yuya, and the things he was going to do to Yuya.

_ I don't think all humans have to die _ , she thought.  _ But this one needs to. _

It hurt. Oh goddess, but it hurt. Everything in her stomach hurt, her head roiling with the pain of the emotions that rushed through her. Hate, anger, fear, uncertainty, self-loathing, nerves, and absolute, horrible, wrenching sorrow.

Her bracelet was burning, and her entire being was full of emotion, emotion that she could not swallow or breathe through.

Yuya screamed as Roger managed to pin him down to the ground, his clawed hands ripping into Yuya's throat faster than he could heal himself.

“We can sit here like this until your episode passes,” Roger said with another rip of his claws. “Until you wish you were dead even more than you ever did!”

“No,” Yuzu whispered.

She was moving forward, moving forward so fast that she couldn't even see it herself. Her wrist burned, and her palm went cold with the metal that was suddenly there, and she didn't feel the metal push through Roger's head but she saw it, saw his eyes bulge and the blood leak from his mouth, saw the demon part of him dissipate like smoke.

“ _ YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN!” _

Oh goddess, it hurt! She might have crumpled to her knees with the pain of it all, the tears rolling down her cheeks, the scream that was stuck in her throat, unable to escape. She saw him, then, saw the one with the golden eyes, his bloody hands reaching for her desperately, a smile on his face as blood leaked between his lips.

“ _ Thank you...thank you...” _

Yuzu screamed—she screamed at the vision, at the pain in her head, at the absolute horrible, wrenching sorrow in her chest. Somehow, for some reason, she thought she heard Selena in her head, babbling words that Yuzu could not hear or understand.

She shoved everything all away.

_ I don't want this—these aren't mine! I don't WANT THIS!! _

And then it was gone, and she was more empty than she had ever known before in her life.

She hadn't collapsed yet, even though she thought she had. She collapsed now, falling face first across Yuya's chest. She could hear his heart thumping against her ear, his chest rising and falling. Her head had fallen sideways, so that she could see where Roger's dead body had fallen. He was staring sightless up at the sky and he looked...so ridiculously tiny. Was that it? Was that really all it was? She barely remembered doing it.

But he was dead, and she had killed him.

She curled her fingers into Yuya's ruined tunic.

“Yuya,” she croaked. “Yuya...”

He didn't reply, and Yuzu managed to turn her head to find his face.

His eyes were closed, and if she hadn't heart his heart against her ear, she might have thought that he was dead. But he was not, and there was no blood in his lips, and her vision had been something else.

Her chest yawned with a terrible, horrible emptiness that she could not explain. But Yuya was alive. And the battle was...over...wasn't it...?

A cry rose up from somewhere in the silent crowd.

“High Priest Jean-Michel Roger is dead!” Edo Phoenix roared. “Put down your weapons, those who take up arms against the Emperor! The battle is over! Our god has passed judgment!”

A roar of victory rose up from the crowd, but Yuzu couldn't feel anything other than numb. She smiled vaguely towards Yuya.

“Did you hear that...?” she mumbled. “We won, Yuya...we won...”

Darkness swirled across her vision. The last thing she heard was Selena screaming her name, but that, too faded into the darkness.

  
  



	56. FIFTY-SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Credens justitiam](https://youtu.be/_Xu41PKIzMY)

**** Yuya awoke slowly, to a dry throat and even drier eyes. He squinted and groaned, blinking.

“Welcome to the world of the living,” he heard a dry voice croak, and his eyes flew open. He shot straight up in bed, the strength returning to him in a flash.

“Dennis??”

The boy smiled wryly at him from the bed only a few feet away.

“Morning,” Dennis said. “And yes, you really are alive—my being here notwithstanding.”

Yuya bolted out of his bed, shooting across the space and throwing his arms around Dennis. Dennis oofed, but he patted Yuya's back awkwardly.

“I was so scared, I thought you could be dead, I thought—I thought maybe—”

“That you would never see me again? I didn't think I'd see me again either,” Dennis said. “A-ah, watch my head...I think I have a concussion. At least, that might have been what the doctor said.”

As though in response, the door slammed open, and Aki appeared. Her red hair was like a halo around her head, eyes flashing.

“Excuse me!” she said. “I know you're god and everything, Yuya, but don't you be bothering my other patient! See, Dennis, this is why I said you should be in another room.”

“I wanted to see him when he woke up,” Dennis mumbled as Yuya popped nervously back from him, hands up. “You're fine, Yuya, you're fine. I'm fine.”

Yuuri was having trouble struggling awake at the back of Yuya's head, but he seemed to be babbling something incoherently about Dennis being alive and to tell him how stupid and dumb he was for getting into so much trouble and getting kidnapped by Roger a second time to be used as a hostage—

Yuya blinked, lips parting. O-oh...he...he remembered. Yuuri had to take a pause, too, and Yuto and Yugo hesitated.

“I remember,” Yuya said out loud, his voice a thin whisper. Aki and Dennis paused what they were doing to look at him.

“You remember...what?” Aki said.

It was...faint. Like shadows, like trying to catch glimpses of fish under shadowy water. But Yuya could remember pieces. He remembered being a demon...he remembered fighting the hybrids, ignoring the pain to claw back at them. He remembered hearing Yuzu call to him. He remembered...he remembered Roger, Roger with Dennis in one hand, Roger with the syringe digging into his neck, Roger becoming a demon—Roger, falling back dead, after Yuzu's sudden white sword had pierced through his head, and vanished just as quickly.

“ _ We never remember anything of our episodes,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ I know...” _ Yuya said.  _ “Did something change?” _

The door opened again, and Aki whipped around with her hands on her hips.

“Yes, he's awake, and no, you're still not allowed in here, Edo Phoenix!”

Yuya gasped. Edo?

He turned to see the tall, silver haired man in the doorway—he was still in his red robes, but they were cleaner and newer than the ones that Yuya had met him in. He looked...almost nervous, Yuya thought, his blue eyes darting around earnestly.

“ _ He doesn't want to look us in the eye,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ He looks like he wants to just straight up start kneeling,”  _ Yuto said.

“ _ Tell him something impressive, scare him a little bit,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ You're mean,” _ Yuya told him.

Yuya stepped forward, despite Aki harumphing at them both.

“High Priest Phoenix, what are you doing here?” Yuya said.

“I came to check on your recovery again, my lord,” Edo said, inclining his head. “You've been asleep in a demon form for almost four days.”

Yuya's heart leaped.

“Four  _ days _ ?” he said. “What—what about the battle?”

“The battle has been long won, Emperor Yuya.”

Yuya's heart jumped again, but this time with relief at the sound of Reiji's voice. The man appeared in the doorway beside Edo, and Aki threw up her hands.

“Am I running a conference room or a hospital now?” she said. “Fine, Yuya, you're good to go if you really want to, but don't you be disturbing the one that needs actual recovery time.”

Yuya's eyes darted back to Dennis, but Dennis just shrugged at him.

“Go on,” he said. “You've got a lot of catching up to do—we can say hi later.”

Yuya wanted to stay right here and never leave Dennis's side again, make sure he couldn't get hurt again. But Aki was here, and Reiji and Edo were waiting expectantly, and Yuya thought that he should almost definitely go and see what was up.

Aki nodded at an extra robe on the table beside his bed, and Yuya hurried to throw it on over his leggings, fumbling a moment with the ties. Then he followed Reiji and Edo out into the hall.

They were in the temple, Yuya thought with a shudder. But there wasn't much of it left. Walls were crumbling and floors were cracked in places, statues had been shattered and there weren't many doors left. People bustled just about everywhere. Yuya counted red robed priests interspersed with people in ragged brown and black clothes with cloth wrapped around their hands, working together to pull away debris. A young man zipped over with his fist held up, a page crumpled into it.

“Here, another message from the walls,” the boy said, and Yuya recognized him as the blue haired messenger that had brought them word of the rebellion.

“Sora, I told you to go  _ rest _ ,” Edo said with a frown, but he took the page anyway. “Have you eaten anything yet?”

“I will later,” the boy said airily.

“At least show a little respect to the Emperor,” Edo muttered as he unrolled the page.

“Oh,” Sora said, glancing at Yuya. He gave the tiniest bob of a bow. “Sorry, didn't see you there, sir.”

Yuya almost laughed.

“ _ I like this one,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Is it the end times? Yuuri finally likes someone,” _ Yugo said.

“ _ Shut up, Yugo.” _

Edo made an offended sound at Sora, but the boy simply darted off again, his robes twirling around him.

“Please forgive him, my lord,” he said earnestly. “He is young and headstrong.”

“It's fine, I think it's kind of refreshing,” Yuya said.

Edo looked a little surprised, but Reiji gave a soft breath of a laugh.

“So where are we going?” Yuya asked. “And when did you get here, Reiji? Shouldn't you be in Shizenrei?”

“I should, yes,” Reiji said. “But now it seems Zarkania wishes to form a true allyship with Shizenrei, and since it is also falling apart at the seams, I'm a necessary mediator. And I arrived yesterday morning by enchantment scroll—I'll be leaving again tomorrow morning.”

He ran a hand through his hair.

“It seems that not only have you returned my throne to me, Yuya, but you've also handed me a fair bit of work to do right at the beginning of it.”

Yuya smiled apologetically, but Reiji was smiling at him too. Even Edo did not comment on the fact that Reiji had called him simply “Yuya” and not “Emperor Yuya.”

“As for where we are going,” Edo said, bowing briefly to allow Yuya through the door into the courtyards first. “We are headed to a temporary base of operations for the recovery. A small group of representatives from both the priests and the people have gathered there.”

Yuya hopped over a bit of debris.

“Zarkania is quite fragile at the moment,” Reiji said. “And...as much as I would hate to impose on you in the middle of your journey, Yuya; I fear you may be needed here for at least a little longer.”

Yuya nodded. He had expected as much. Emperor or not, he was a symbol, and his country was about to undergo a massive upheaval. One truth after another and the leadership almost completely annihilated. At least they already had Shizenrei as an ally—even if Shizenrei was struggling to keep afloat too. Maybe they could hold each other up.

“ _ Or maybe we could drown each other at the same time,” _ Yuuri said.

“ _ Yuuri, do you know the meaning of the phrase, keep your thoughts to yourself?” _ Yuto said.

Yuya couldn't even find it in himself to be worried. He felt so heavy and exhausted, but also relieved.

_ Roger's  _ dead, he thought.  _ He's gone. _

Just that thought alone was enough to put a bit of spring in his step. Roger could never get close to him or Dennis or anyone ever again.

Oh, he thought suddenly, and hurried to keep pace with Edo and Reiji.

“Where's Yuzu?” he said.

The two men exchanged brief glances.

“She fell unconscious at the same time as you, as as far as I know, she hasn't awakened yet.”

Yuya's heart clenched. Yuzu was—Yuzu was in a coma?

“Please have no fear, my lord, she is being taken care of just as well as you yourself have been,” Edo said quickly. “The doctors say there is no cause for alarm; she is merely exhausted. She used too much of her Blessing—and...that other power besides.”

He frowned, then but Yuya wasn't sure what he meant. Was he talking about how Yuzu was able to kill Roger, even in his demon form? That was something that was still bothering Yuya. How had she managed it?  What had that sword been?  Was...was Yuzu...

“In any case, Yuya,” Reiji said, “before we go in, I want to talk to you.”

They stopped in front of a small, building that had clearly been thrown together very hastily out of other broken buildings, hesitating in front of the curtains that made up the door. Yuya paused, and waited.

“Things are tense in there,” Reiji said. “The priesthood fears that Shizenrei is going to attempt to occupy them and outlaw the Zarkanian religion, much as Zarkania once did to Shizenrei and the Reiaian religion.”

“And the common people fear that I will attempt to be the same tyrant that Roger was,” Edo said. “Forcing them into servitude once again, simply under another name.”

Yuya's stomach rolled, but he nodded. It made sense.

“We are trying to negotiate some kind of rudimentary government, at least to get through the recovery effort, but that is going slowly—and while it does, the outer edges of Zarkania will likely begin to crumble, especially towards the east,” Reiji said. He hesitated before he put a hand on Yuya's shoulder briefly. “We're going to need your help. The people saw what you did out there.”

Yuya ducked his head. They saw him in his demon form? He didn't think that was going to be helpful at all.

“Even those who didn't believe in you saw that you fought against Roger, your high priest, who was seen by many as the root of the corruption,” Edo said. “Many of them are wary, still, but a fair few believe that you will be predisposed to fight corruption. They may see your opinion as highly valuable.”

“I don't know much about any of that,” Yuya mumbled. “But...but if I can do something to help, I'll do my best.”

Reiji smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

“That's all anyone can ask of you,” he said. “You are far too young for this burden, Yuya...please stay strong. Whatever you want to do for the sake of this country, I will do whatever I can to support you.”

“And I as well, my lord,” Edo said, bowing low.

Yuya nodded, and Reiji smiled once more before releasing him.

“Oh,” he said, hesitating before pulling back the curtains. “Damn...before I forget, Yuya, there is one other thing that you need to be aware of—”

The curtains drew back with a snap, and Crow appeared. He looked somewhat pale, but a huge smile grew over his face at the sight of Yuya.

“Back in the world of the living with the rest of us mortals, huh?” he said, clapping Yuya on the shoulder briefly. “We were just waiting on you three. Come on in, we're getting started again.”

Yuya didn't have much say in the matter before he was swept inside. Edo made another offended sound, but this was Crow—Yuya relaxed at Crow's hand on his shoulder, sighing with relief. Another familiar face was here. That was good.

He took in the small group quickly. He recognized a lot of them, actually, more than he didn't, at least. Lord Nakajima from Shizenrei was present, and Ishijima, Gallagher, Melissa, Nico, and Chojiro from the oldwoods rebellion. Gongenzaka was here, too, and he smiled broadly at Yuya. Kaito was here, with Shun on one side and on the other, a young blond man with a feather sticking up along the side of his head, inconspicuously holding hands with Kaito. Shinji stood in another corner with a handful of faces that Yuya didn't know by name, but he recognized the man with the lizard shaped hair. There were others, too, priests that he didn't quite recognize with a few that he did—Grace and Gloria bowed low from the opposite end of the room when he entered.

“Yuya!”

The voice somehow sounded like it had a bell chiming at the back of it, resonating in his head. For a moment, it actually took his breath away.

He turned to the left, and something in him seemed to untangle at the strange sight.

Rin, Ruri, and Selena were standing in the left corner. They looked the same as always, of course, Rin with a huge, excited smile and waving widely at Yuya, Ruri with that small happy smile, and Selena with her arms folded, nodding with a half smile at Yuya.

But something about them was different. More than different. It made Yuya catch his breath, his entire being just unfurl with a deep, relieved sigh. They seemed to have light dancing underneath their skin, glinting in their irises. They stood light and easy, like they were about to float off of the floor, and the air almost sparkled around them. They looked...themselves, more than they ever had been before, and even the three in his mind were speechless to look at them—even Yuuri was silent.

“Oh,” Yuya whispered. “What happened?”

“That's a great question,” Ruri said, and her voice sounded like birds were singing behind it.

A faint whisper ran around the room, and Yuya wondered if it was because he couldn't take his eyes off of the three of them.

Selena was the one who walked forward.

“Well,” she said. “I think everyone is here.”

The air almost swirled like glittery smoke where she walked, and Yuya felt his breath catching again. What was this? What had happened to them?

Reiji stepped in behind Yuya and then to the side to fill out the circle, Edo beside him. It took a moment for Yuya to break his gaze from Selena and the other two and let Edo guide him to the other side of the room with his priests, standing on the opposite side of the girls, who fell in near Reiji.

“My apologies, my lord, we did not have the chance to inform you,” Edo said. “The acolytes don't seem positive what happened to them themselves—at least, the other two do not. I suspect Ser Selena knows more than she's sharing.”

Edo frowned, and Yuya stirred out of his daze.

“ _ Ser _ ?” he echoed.

Edo nodded, leaning down to speak to him privately.

“The four acolytes of Rayglen who fought with us were given honorary titles by Reiji for their prowess in ridding the fight of the demon warriors,” he said. “I didn't see all of it—I only saw Ser Yuzu use the power against former High Priest Roger. But the rumors are that they were able to create the goddess sword.”

Yuya sucked in a breath.

They were champions. All three of them? No, all four of them, since he said Yuzu had used it against Roger. Was it possible for there to be four champions? Four goddess champions, each with a goddess sword—demons. They had awakened now?

“They insist they are not champions or goddesses, but, well...” Edo frowned then. “The people are less convinced. So they agreed to sit on this council as representatives of the goddess, since you are also present.”

Edo looked uncomfortable with that, and Yuya thought he must be worried. The Reianian religion had never been kind in describing Yuya, if Yuya remembered much about it. But Yuya couldn't help but smile.

“I'm glad,” Yuya said. “I'm glad they're here.”

Reiji cleared his throat then, and the faint whispers around the room dissipated. Reiji looked towards Crow and Shinji, waiting expectantly.

It took Crow a second to realize that he was being waited on, and he fumbled.

“Right,” he said, quickly jumping into it. “Well—we've got representatives from all the major groups here now, and Yu—the Emperor is finally fit to join us.”

Crow looked so awkward, and Yuya tried not to giggle. This wasn't Crow's comfort zone at all, was it?

“The major discussion here is about the structure of the temporary Zarkanian government to keep the recovery movement...moving,” Crow said.

It was almost relieving to hear Crow stumbling along through all of this. He was just as out of his element as Yuya felt.

“I say the imperial structure needs to go completely,” Chojiro rumbled. “We need to be holding some kind of elections.”

“And with what will you be monitoring those elections?” Kaito said tersely. “Will you not simply fall into another form of tyranny? You've seen what happened in Meiying.”

“Meiying is one of the freest countries in the world,” Melissa said.

“Tell that to the Mei people,” Reiji said, almost under his breath.

“What's important is that you have some kind of structure to negotiate with other countries,” Nakajima said. “Iwamaki poses no threat from the east, as they have no central government, but Meiying was negotiating with the old government. They may be looking to chip away at the country to get at your rich ore deposits.”

“Oh, like Shizenrei is looking to get a piece of the pie, too?” Shinji shot at them.

Reiji held up a hand with a frown.

“We are barely on our feet as it is, Mr. Weber,” he said calmly. “All we are here to do is help, in the hopes it will benefit everyone. We have neither the strength nor capital to take advantage of you.”

A brief spike of words clattered around the room, and Yuya's head pulsed with the sudden whirl of angry and distrustful thoughts. He resisted the urge to clap his hands to his head and sink down to the ground. He couldn't—not here. He had to try and look strong.

“We can put together a temporary council, then, out of representatives chosen by our forces,” Chojiro said. “Before overseeing an election.”

“That's practically what we're doing now, isn't it?” Rin said, looking confused.

“I wouldn't call this the ideal council,” Chojiro said, tightening his lips. “As it contains members of foreign nations.”

“You think we want anything to do with your country?” Kaito said, frowning. “There’s a reason we’re an officially neutral nation—we just want to make sure you're going to leave us alone.”

Shun raised an eyebrow at the back of Kaito's head.

“Is that the kind of thing you should be saying out loud, sir?” he said quietly.

“I couldn't help but notice that Mr. Tokumatsu looked at us, too, when he mentioned foreign nations,” Edo said, humming slightly. “Are you implying that you would like representatives from the priesthood to step down as well?”

Chojiro simply pressed his lips together, but Shinji wasn't so conservative with his opinion.

“We've been under the rule of the priesthood for  _ decades _ ,” he said. “Don't you think it's time you stepped out?”

“You speak as though priests are another species,” Grace said, a bit of venom in her voice. “Folk as common as you have joined the priesthood—we are as human as you.”

Shinji's lip curled.

“After what we saw yesterday, are you really?”

A hush fell over the room, and Yuya suddenly felt his head spike.

“The priesthood has ruled for a long time,” Chojiro agreed. “And religion has been turned into a tool for war.”

“High Priest, say something,” Gloria murmured to Edo, but Edo looked down, looking chagrined.

“I cannot begrudge your anger,” he said, shaking his head. “Perhaps they are right. I know my belief clouded my vision, or perhaps the tyranny would not have continued for as long as it did.”

“If the priests cannot participate in this new government, then,” Reiji said suddenly, “what will you ask of them?”

The room fell silent once more, and there was an inherent discomfort in it. Reiji fixed his glasses.

“Will you demote anyone who clings to the priestly orders to a second class citizen? Will you deny them even a chance to nominate or vote in the elections you hold?”

Shinji and Chojiro immediately looked uncomfortable, and whispers ran around the room. Yuya felt like...shouldn't he be saying something, too? But it was all he could do to hold on to the thread of conversation and keep up with what everyone was saying.

“It seems perhaps that is exactly what you are implying,” Reiji said calmly.

“Your own country was nearly ruined by priestly invaders,” Ishijima pointed out. “So what do you care?”

Yuya opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He wanted the haze of distrust and anger that grew in the room to stop. He wanted it to  _ stop _ .

“I'm merely pointing out the facts,” Reiji said. “It sounds to me like you are all planning on simply replacing one tyranny with your own.”

“It's not tyranny to take back a life that was denied us,” Shinji snapped, but Crow grabbed his arm, whispering to him to calm down. That didn't seem to be the feeling of the rest of the room, though, and Yuya was starting to feel dizzy.

“And what about the Emperor?”

The voice cut through the room so clearly that it fell silent immediately. All eyes turned towards the speaker.

Selena stood with the same strange, eerily divine lightness that the other two behind her had, her arms folded, eyes level. Her gaze was on Yuya, though, and Yuya felt, for a moment, like he could see stars being born in the space behind her eyes. It was like he was looking into the depths of creation itself.

_ Are you really not champions? _ he thought.  _ If not...the goddess herself returned somehow? _

Selena tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“You talk a lot about the priesthood and whether or not it should be treated like it contains human beings in its ranks,” she said. “But I noticed you're all studiously avoiding even looking at the Emperor.”

She hummed slightly, and the entire room seemed to fall victim to her voice as easily as though it were a kind of mesmer.

“What do you think, Yuya?” she said, tilting her head. “You haven't said a word.”

Yuya startled back to himself, as though Selena had just released him from a spell. He shifted, twisting his hands briefly into his robes. The entire room was waiting on him now, it seemed. He swallowed.

“I think...” he started, but he was too quiet, and he had to clear his throat to speak louder again. “I think I don't agree.”

He looked down at the floor briefly, and then back up. He looked around, at all the faces he knew and some he didn't, one at a time. They all quickly avoided his gaze, save for the ones who he knew the best. Gongenzaka, who hadn't spoken either, and smiled encouragingly at him. Crow who nodded at him to keep going. Reiji who hid his smile behind fixing his glasses. And the girls, who each gave him their own smile, Rin's huge and almost dorky, Ruri's small and aristocratic, Selena's almost daring him.

“I've spent most of my life not allowed to have my own voice,” he said. “I've spent a lot of it locked away, hidden, and pushed down, not allowed to speak without permission, not allowed to even blink or move without being told to.”

He sighed, and he felt like something in him was deflating.

“I know what that feels like. I might not have lived the life you all have, but I've been hurt by my own priesthood too. I've been hurt by a lot of people. I know what it feels like to be lost, trapped, and alone, without any way to cry out for help.”

He clenched his fists.

“That's why...I don't think it's right,” he said. “You can't keep the priesthood out completely. They might have been led astray or blinded, but they're human, too. They're only humans like you who were looking for something to give them hope, just like you, and they've all been hurt, and fought alongside you.. You can't take their voice away.”

He sighed again, and the entire room seemed so quiet that he could hear all of their heartbeats. There weren't even any thoughts to listen to.

“But they can't take your voice away, either,” he said. “So that's why...that's why I think, whatever this country does, it has to involve everyone. I agree, we can't run this country on religion anymore. But you can't deny it either, not when so many people are finding hope in it.”

He looked again at all the faces turned towards his, and wondered if he was making any sense.

“Whatever you all decide, it has to be something you decide on together, without blocking anyone out,” he said. “You have to give  _ everyone _ a voice—and you have to listen to all of them.”

He felt exhausted all of a sudden, and let his voice fall silent. He had already said what he wanted to say. He didn't know if it had even made any sense.

“ _ It was a good speech, Yuya,” _ Yuto said.

“ _ Yeah—if I had my own eyes, I might be crying,”  _ said Yugo. Yuya had to try not to laugh, because the atmosphere didn't seem to match that right now if they didn't know he was listening to voices in his head.

Crow finally coughed.

“I agree with Y—with the Emperor,” he said. “We need to strike some kind of balance. The priests can't control everything anymore, and we do need to ask for compensation for crimes that were committed, but we can't just tell them to scram, either. They should have a say in what happens next, too—the only difference between us is what we ended up believing in.”

“I can certainly acquiesce to that,” Edo said, nodding.

“Hmm,” Chojiro said, but he nodded. “We'll have to come up with guidelines of some kind. Something to hold each other accountable to.”

He looked at Yuya.

“And what of you, then? Now that you have been freed, will you claim your place as a ruler?”

Yuya shook his head quickly, before any of the priests—particularly Grace—could answer for him.

“I can't stop anyone from believing in me or worshiping me, even if...to be honest, I don't know how I feel about it,” he said. “But I've spent long enough being paraded around as a figurehead, and...and I'm still younger than you probably think I am.”

He smiled wryly.

“If you're going to have guidelines for your leaders, I don't think my age would qualify me,” he said. “Or my experience. No...if I must be a god, I will be a god, but I won't be a ruler any longer.”

He looked up at Edo, and back at the priests who had gathered behind him.

“Can all of you accept that?” he asked.

Edo bowed immediately.

“If that is what our god wishes, then we will follow,” he said.

When Yuya looked around again, Selena was smiling at him, almost like she was proud. There was something very different about all three of them, he thought, but he thought Selena might be acting the strangest.

Still...he thought, as he sighed while the conversations sparked up again. He couldn't deny the relief that was rushing through him.

_ I don't have to be an emperor again _ , he thought.

* * *

Yuya listened for a few more hours while the chosen representatives of each group discussed guidelines and accountability measures for elections and leadership. They decided to go the route of a round table council, similar to Meiying, but without a singular prime minister. Every representative would have a say at the table, and they'd never operate their meetings behind closed doors. The people would be allowed to sit in on any meetings. They decided to hold collections for nominations the next week, after they had finished most of the cleanup. Yuya was asked to come along to check all the nominees, once it was revealed and proven that he could hear destructive thoughts. They didn't need anyone else on this new council that would be having thoughts of taking control for themselves, and by now, most of them trusted that Yuya would be wary enough to prevent any dangerous elements from joining the new government too early on.

In the meantime, the priesthood would be allowed to participate in and nominate people for the elections, but there would be a smaller group who wanted to devote themselves to the maintaining of the temple and serving their god, and they would voluntarily secede their right to run for office, though they would keep their vote. Yuya was a little uncomfortable with this, but he supposed, if it made them happy... And as long as his personal priest staff wouldn't be able to take his words as law or anything, he didn't have to worry about his own presence disrupting the government.

Yuya hesitated in the middle of walking down the hall, his eyes drawn to the stars outside the crumbled window. If there was one thing that the wreckage had done, it had finally allowed light to pass into his temple. He didn't fear it as much as he would have like this; the stars could shine down on him.

Edo paused ahead of him, turning to see that he had stopped.

“Is anything wrong, my lord?” he asked.

Yuya shook his head.

“Just looking at the stars,” he said. “Um...Edo.”

“Yes, my lord?”

“If you are really going to build a new temple, make sure it has a lot of windows. I've had enough darkness in my life.”

Edo smiled.

“Of course, my lord. I hope that you'll be open with us about exactly how we should be proceeding.”

Yuya nodded. Edo had almost immediately seceded to the group that would be serving the temple alone. He said he had also had enough of politics, but he would be available for the rudimentary council to help run the elections and recovery. After this, however, he wanted to step back from politics. Let the younger, unclouded crowd take over, he said.

Yuya took some small comfort in that, at least. Edo was a legitimately pleasant person to be around, once Yuya got over the constant glances of reverence that made him feel a little bit uncomfortable.

“ _ You know what all this means, though, right?” _ Yuuri said quietly.

“ _ We're not going to Sanctuary,”  _ Yuya said back, nodding. He knew.  _ “We can't...Zarkania needs us.” _

“ _ What happens when the eclipse arrives?” _

Yuya ran a hand through his hair, feeling so tired.

“ _ I'm not sure. I mean...Yuzu says that we're less violent in our episodes than we thought. And we started to remember things that happened during this episode. Maybe...maybe when we change, it won't be as bad as we think it will.” _

None of them answered right away, and he could tell that they weren't convinced. He wasn't sure he was, either. If it was true, and the darkness in him had only been encouraged and provoked by Roger over many years...well, he couldn't forget how it had all started. If the darkness was more frightened than angry, why had he and the others tried to kill each other during that first eclipse? Wouldn't they have been less easily provoked...?

Yuya's skin still crawled when he thought of the eclipse. Only a few more months, now. He had had three episodes since the six month mark. The third episode after this one would be his last, and then they would see what happened.

“My lord,” Edo murmured softly. “Is there anything that I can do for you?”

Yuya stirred out of his thoughts.

“I'm thinking about the eclipse.”

Edo's lips parted, his face illuminated in edges by the stars.

“The day of your final awakening,” he said, nodding. “Is it troubling you?”

“I'm not sure I know who I'll be once it happens.”

Edo looked a little sad, and he stepped down from the stairs. He approached slowly until he was standing beside Yuya, looking up to the stars as well.

“If I may be so bold as to ask, my lord, what was your plan when you fled the temple? Where were you planning to go? There is so little of your journey that I'm aware of.”

Yuya looked down through the crumbled wall to the town below, the little sparks of firelight in between ruined or still standing buildings. He could hear voices floating up, soft laughter and the faint clink of glasses as people began to head towards rest after a long day of working to clean up and rebuild.

“I was originally looking for a way to die,” Yuya said, and he heard Edo suck in a breath. “That day that Jack Atlas was executed...when the woman shouted that the goddess would come for me.”

“We never did find whoever shouted that,” Edo said, almost as an afterthought.

“I thought...that could be an out. I wouldn't have to hurt anyone anymore. I wouldn't have to cause all this pain and sadness that I saw in all the people's faces every time I was forced to stand before them. I thought...if the goddess or her champion was coming for me anyway, I could have made it easier, and simply given myself over to her.”

He thought Edo was starting to become uncomfortable, or at the very least upset, but he didn't feel like he could stop talking now.

“I thought maybe that would fix it. If I was gone, everyone could rest easy again. No demon to haunt their sleep anymore.”

He shook his head, lips parting.

“I can see from here, now, that dying wouldn't have made a difference,” he said. “I would have left everyone to pick up the pieces. I might have briefly protected them from being killed by me, used as a weapon in a demon rage, but they still would have had to deal with the corruption and tyranny all over the world.”

Edo's eyes glittered in the starlight as he looked down at Yuya again.

“And now?” he said. “What now, my lord? You still fear yourself once the final awakening comes, do you not?”

Yuya nodded silently. His hands knotted into his robes.

“Do you still wish to find a way to die before then?” Edo asked softly.

Yuya shook his head. His throat was so tight.

“Do you know how beautiful the world is out there?” he whispered. “There are entire fields full of grass so tall and thick that it looks like water rippling in the wind. There are trees taller than the temple, and far more ancient. There are canyons that look like they've been made out of pottery, striped with different colors for every year they grew. There are more stars than I ever thought there could be in the entire world...and there are so many places and people that I still haven't seen or met yet.”

He reached up towards the stars, curling his fingers out towards them.

“I want to live,” he whispered. “I want to live, so badly. I want to keep living until I've seen everything. I don't think I'd make anyone happy if I died...but maybe if I keep living, maybe then I can do something more for everyone. Maybe I can do something more for me.”

He let his hands fall to his sides.

“When we were caught in Shizenrei, I had already decided that I wanted to live,” he said. “And that's only grown since then...I don't want to be caged anymore. I want to live among everyone and see everything again.”

“If you had made your decision then, my lord...where were you headed next?”

Yuya licked his dry lips.

“To Sanctuary,” he said. “The place where they say the goddess still lives.”

Edo sucked in another breath, a breeze ruffling his hair and robes.

“You were going to her, despite deciding that you want to live?”

“Reiji says that he thinks there is much more to what happened to the goddess and the demon than we know,” he said. He pressed his hand to the pendulum around his neck. “He thought if we made it there, perhaps there would be a way to take the anger that attacks me at the new moon away from me, and allow me to live freely.”

He shook his head.

“I won't be able to go there now,” he said, and his throat cracked slightly. “I need to stay here for everyone. I have so many people depending on me now.”

He almost jumped when Edo tentatively rested his hand very very lightly on Yuya's shoulder. He seemed as nervous about it as Yuya did, but Yuya found a smile growing over his face. This was the first time that Edo had touched him, and maybe that meant that Edo was seeing him as a real person over a god for once.

“I will take you there, then,” he said, and Yuya's eyes darted up to him, mouth opening with surprise.

“W-what?” Yuya said.

“I said I will find a way to take you there,” Edo said. “You have a few more months before the eclipse, yes? With the right planning, you can make it to the mountains within a month and a half.”

He looked down at Yuya, and quickly removed his hand from Yuya's shoulder.

“I don't think it will be a problem,” Edo said. “Once you've done your part for helping to run the elections, you have no other duties to Zarkanian government. Besides, there must be time allowed for us to build the temple. We can tell the people that you must go on a pilgrimage.”

Yuya felt his heart in his throat, or maybe that was the tears.

“You really...you'd really come with me?”

Edo smiled, and his robes swept as he dropped into a kneeling position, bowing his head before Yuya.

“My lord, I have devoted my entire life to your service,” he said. “And I could have never dreamed to have been in a place where I could speak to you so familiarly. If there is anything in my power to grant you peace, I will do it.”

Yuya felt like crying. His knees were shaking, and it was all he could do to stand upright.

“T-thank you,” he said. “Thank you, Edo, thank you...”

“If you're going to go,” a soft voice said. “You'll have to take me with you.”

Yuya and Edo both looked up. Illuminated by the starlight and the near half moon, Yuzu was standing on the stairs, balancing on one crutch under her arm. She smiled awkwardly.

“Sorry if I'm breaking a moment,” she said. “I was coming down to see you...”

It took everything Yuya had not to break down into tears.

“Oh thank goodness,” he breathed. “You're awake.”

“I think so, at least,” she said in almost a croak, sounding hoarse. “Don't tell Aki that I'm down here, she'll probably kill me.”

Yuya hopped across the distance between them, throwing his arms around her. Yuzu oofed and almost fell, but she managed to snake an arm around his waist.

“You're okay,” Yuya mumbled. “I'm so glad, I didn't attack you or anything during the fight, did I—”

“Nope, I'm right as rain,” Yuzu laughed. “Just— _ exhausted _ .”

“Same,” Yuya laughed.

He heard Edo standing up, and when he released Yuzu and turned around, Edo was smiling. It was a tiny, almost uncertain smile, but it was one nonetheless.

“It might be very beneficial to have at least one of you four accompanying him on this pilgrimage,” he said. “It would look like a sign of solidarity between the two major religions.”

“Oooh, politics,” Yuzu said, sounding a little loopy. Yuya wondered if she had literally just woken up. “Sounds like fun.”

She swayed a bit, and Yuya caught her around the waist, guiding her down the last stair.

“Are you sure you should be up?” he said, nervous. “You look dizzy.”

“I'm fine, just a little empty,” Yuzu said, but she sounded distant and not quite fine. “Or...dizzy. I mean dizzy.”

She squinted through the darkness.

“Anyway, if you go anywhere, or to Sanctuary or anything, I'm definitely coming,” she said. “You can't stop me.”

“I'd really love if you came,” Yuya said, smiling.

Edo nodded.

“I'll start talking to the other priests who are already joining your permanent retinue,” Edo said. “We'll make plans to leave by the end of the week, once the nominations are checked.”

“Thank you, Edo,” Yuya said. “Thank you so much.”

Edo bowed again.

And then Yuya saw something moving in the window behind him.

Yuya didn't have a chance to say a word before the shadow alighted on the crumbled wall, stretching up and resting one tanned had against the edge of the wreckage.

“You should leave sooner.”

All three of them spun around to see the shadow in the window. Yuya gripped onto Yuzu instinctively. Who was this? He could only hear her voice, and see the vague shape of her cloak hanging around her body, her face under the cowl thrown into darkness by the stairs right behind her head.

Yuzu gasped.

“En?” she said. “You're En, right? Y-Yuya, can you see her?”

“What? Of course I can see her,” Yuya said. “Who is she? Do you know her?”

Yuzu opened her mouth to say something, but the woman called En spoke over him—and it was then that Yuya recognized her voice. She was the woman who had screamed at him, the day that Jack Atlas had died—he could hear her voice screaming at him as clearly as though it were only seconds ago that she had screamed that the goddess would come and end his miserable life.

“You're running out of time,” she said. “You don't have as much as you think you do. You need to get out of the city sooner than the end of the week.”

“Y-you're her, aren't you?” Yuya said, struggling forward. “You're the one who yelled at me, the one who said the goddess would destroy me.”

“What?” Edo said, eyes flashing at her. His hand twitched down to the sword still under his robes.

Somehow, even in the dark, Yuya could see the woman's lips twitch into a faint, nervous smile.

“I had to say something to get you to start moving,” she muttered. “It worked, didn't it?”

“Who are you?” Yuzu said, voice cracking with desperation. “Are you...?”

“What do you mean, we're running out of time?” Yuya said. “There's still three months until the eclipse, isn't there?”

The woman bit her lip.

“It's not the eclipse I fear—it's humanity. It always has been. It's been the humans that I've loved so much that it hurts, and feared so much that I thought I might die from it.”

She sucked in a breath.

“You don't have time to wait. Meet me in Sanctuary. I don't know what I can do, but it's more than they can.”

“Who are you?” Yuzu said again, struggling forward.

The woman hesitated. And then, when she next spoke, her voice was a whisper.

“When her power fled from her, after she committed the greatest sin against her nature, three skills still remained in the goddess's hands,” she said. “The first was long life, which she did not want. The second was the ability to still hear the ones who called for her, whom she did not want to help. And the last was to be wherever she needed to be in the world, though she did not want to be a part of it again.”

She vanished from the hole in the stars as suddenly as though she had not existed, and Edo swore. Her voice briefly echoed as though she were standing on the top of the stairs, but Yuya couldn't see her.

“Who am I, Yuzu? I'm an echo and a liar—or perhaps I was the lie itself, all along.”

Yuya jumped at the feel of her breath whispering past his ear all at once, as though suddenly she were right behind him.

“I pray this fairy tale has a happy ending this time,” she breathed. “I have had my fill of sorrow.”

Her hands gripped his shoulders briefly.

“Meet me in Sanctuary,” she whispered, her voice begging. “Meet me there. Quickly. There is little I can do for you here.”

And then her hands were gone, and Yuya spun around, only to see that there was no one there.

Her presence rang briefly in the world around them, as though it were echoing off of the shadows.

“Who was that?” Edo swore. “What...what was she?”

Yuzu let out the tiniest moan, and it sounded like a breath of longing.

“Oh goddess,” she swore. “Yuya...I think...”

She swallowed, and Yuya knew what she was going to say before she said it.

“That was her.” Yuzu said, sounding faint and distant. “That was the goddess. It was her, all along.”

_ She was here. _

_ The goddess was  _ here _. _

  
  



	57. FIFTY-SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Symposium Magarum](https://youtu.be/LycBlVPcDLg)

**** “Yuya!”

Crow darted across the square, meeting Yuya at the gates of the temple. Yuya grabbed his hands, and Crow briefly embraced him, squeezing tightly.

“I heard you and Edo are trying to get to Sanctuary,” he said, lowering his voice. “What's going on?”

“The intermediary council won't approve it,” Yuya said. “And if I leave in the middle of the night, it could send everyone into chaos...”

Crow bit his lip, eyes darting back towards the group.

“Dammit. If only I hadn't given up my seat for Shinji. If I was there, I could argue for you.”

Yuya shook his head.

“Shinji tried to give me the chance to go, too. It's Chojiro and some of the others. Only Shinji, Gongenzaka, and the three priests on the council are in favor of me going. Chojiro wants to wait—he doesn't like me disappearing right now, even if the nomination process is over.”

Crow grit his teeth. He lowered his voice again.

“Is what Yuzu told me true? She...the goddess was here?”

Yuya nodded silently. Crow swore, and then followed Yuya in behind the walls.

“Rin is right behind me,” he said. “Selena and Ruri are probably not far behind her, either—those three seem pretty inseparable all of a sudden.”

“I noticed,” Yuya said.

“If we have to, we can just sneak you out. No one has to even know you're gone—I bet we could call up Reiji and have him get you an enchantment scroll. Jump right to Shizenrei, and then to Meiying, go up into the mountains real quick...”

“No, they'd notice,” Yuya said. “I'm not the shadow I used to be, Crow—a lot of people are expecting to see me coming by and watching the recovery efforts. They'll notice if I vanish and that could spell a world of trouble for everyone.”

He bit his lip. Demons, but this was frustrating. He was beholden to so many people now...

That night facing the goddess still haunted him, twisting over and over in his mind. She hadn't sounded or looked like a goddess, he thought. There was nothing of the strange divinity in her that was inherent in the girls after their strange awakening. She had seemed more...ordinary and human, save for her disappearing act.

“ _ Was it really her?”  _ Yugo said.  _ “I mean—was it really her?” _

“ _ I can't think of another explanation,” _ Yuya said.

“ _ She seemed very desperate that we get to her,” _ Yuuri said.  _ “What could she do at Sanctuary that she can't do for us here? And why hasn't she come directly to us before?” _

“ _ You heard her,” _ Yuto said softly.  _ “Didn't you? The exhaustion in her voice. She's tired. Probably as tired as we are, feeling the entire world leaning against us. She's been dealing with it for longer than we have.” _

“ _ Doesn't change the fact that she left us to rot like this,” _ Yuuri said harshly.  _ “Left us in that horrible cell, never coming to help...” _

“ _ That's enough, Yuuri, you're only working yourself up,” _ Yuya said gently.  _ “Please...calm down.” _

Yuzu was waiting at the door to the temple, and as soon as Crow and Yuya reached her, her eyes flickered up over their heads, and Yuya looked over his shoulder to see Rin bolting towards them.

She hugged him so tightly that he actually crashed into the wall beside the door.

“I can't believe they didn't let me see you after the meeting!” she said, sounding indignant. “I hate this! Everyone looking at me like I'm a goddess and asking me to bless them and shit—is this how you feel all the goddessdamned time?”

“Welcome to my world,” Yuya said with a tremulous laugh. “How are you doing, anyway? And what happened to you? I didn't get a chance to ask.”

Rin waved her hand dismissively.

“Listen, I really don't have a fucking clue, all I know is, I feel like I'm high pretty much twenty-four seven. Did you know I can smell colors now? This shit is crazy strong.”

She didn't look super perturbed about it, though, and there was still an easy, divine grace about the way she carried herself, as though she were able to pass through the world in a flit of smoke.

“I'm still me, though,” she said quickly. “So tell Yugo to stop worrying!”

“ _ I wasn't worrying!” _ Yugo said indignantly, but he definitely was.

“Let's go inside and talk about shit,” Rin said. “Ruri and Selena are behind me. So what's this about us sneaking to Sanctuary?”

“We are not sneaking anywhere,” Edo said tersely, appearing on the stairs. “We won't leave without the people's approval.”

“I literally heard the goddess herself descended in front of you and told you that there was no time to waste,” Rin said. “Or do you only believe in demons and not goddesses?”

“I don't know that I believe that was the goddess, no,” Edo said, sounding tense. He was a thin wire of stress right now, and Yuya could hear the twang of his unnerved emotions. “One way or another, I  _ will _ assist Yuya in getting to Sanctuary. But we cannot leave without a warning or knowledge of the others.”

“Can I tell them that I really am the goddess and I want them to let him go?” Rin said, raising her hand.

“That's an idea,” came Selena's voice from behind. “But I don't think it will work.”

Ruri was on her heels as Yuya turned to see Selena appear through the door. They trotted over with that same ethereal grace, and Yuya felt strange to look at them again. It wasn't like looking at the demon warriors, wasn't like seeing them turn into something that didn't belong to the world. They belonged to the world almost  _ too _ much, it felt like. And yet...something was missing.

Yuzu shifted uncomfortably beside Yuya, and Yuya wondered if she was feeling the same. But wait...hadn't she also done the same thing as those three? Why wasn't she the same as them?

“So Yuya needs to get to Sanctuary,” Ruri said, looking at Crow. “But the council won't let him.”

“I have no say since I have ceded my rights to office,” Edo said. “And I feel that many of them are still wary of me. My request to lead the my Lord Yuya on pilgrimage before his temple is complete was denied.”

“What for?” Ruri said.

“We're in a vulnerable place,” Selena said. “Zarkania is still on the edge of crumbling out from underneath itself, and the only real edge it has is the fact that there's a living god that seems to be giving them his blessing. Sending him off to where no one can see him might mean taking him to another country, who could use him against Zarkania.”

“Shizenrei would never do that, and they should know that,” Rin said.

“They can't be sure,” Selena said, shrugging. “And you have to remember—our path to Sanctuary leads directly through Meiying.”

Meiying. Yuya shuddered. He was starting to become uncomfortable just hearing that place's name—it was like a nightmare that he never quite got to see the look of, looming over them constantly. He knew Reiji had a pistol made in that country, and he knew what Yugo remembered of the cold, cruel orphanage that he had been a part of. He knew Roger had been negotiating with them to keep his power, and he knew that they were an industrial country that had far greater advances in technology than Zarkania, Shizenrei, or indeed any of the other countries had had the time or resources to obtain. They were not a nation that Zarkania could easily go up against.

“The goal is to get you out of here as quickly as possible,” Selena said. “Let me talk to the council. I should be able to find a way to convince them.”

“You're a lot more reliable nowadays, Selena,” Rin said, clapping her on the back. “Maybe this magical shit is doing you better than it is me.”

Selena actually blushed, and mumbled something that she was just doing her best. Ruri put a hand on her shoulder.

“I'll come with you and talk to them,” she said. “If only we could convince them that we had contact with Rayglen...they might pay more attention to us.”

Yuya heard footsteps scrabbling on the ground, then, and they all looked up at the young person who skidded to a stop outside the door. Yuya didn't know their name, but he recognized them as one of the message runners for the intermediary council.

“Ah, there you are,” they gasped. “Please excuse my interruption, but the council is asking if Lord Yuya would please meet them at the council room.”

“Me?” Yuya said, blinking. “The nominations are over, though. I'm not supposed to hang around the council too much.”

“I know, my lord, but there's...been a development. And they're asking to see you.”

“Who's asking?” Edo said, eyes narrowing.

The young messenger paled slightly, eyes shifting.

“The Meiying delegation.”

The room dropped almost three degrees, and Yuya felt dizzy.

“Oh,” he said. “Demons.”

* * *

Yuya entered the room slowly, with Edo on one side and Yuzu on the other. The girls were behind him, but Yuya was at the front, and he might as well have been alone. He was nervous—he couldn't help it. Meiying had been looming over their heads for weeks now. And they were just here out of nowhere?

_ The council isn't equipped to deal with this... _ Yuya thought.  _ And what do they want with me? _

He quickly took in the room. The council was there, the nine representatives that had been chosen from both priesthood and both branches of rebellion. Yuya knew Chojiro, Gongenzaka, and Shinji, but he only vaguely knew the others. Gongenzaka sent him a reassuring glance, but it was all he was able to spare.

Yuya's eyes moved to the delegation, then, because that was all they could be.

There were four of them, all dressed very differently from anyone Yuya had ever known. They weren't in the dirty tunics of Zarkanian commonfolk or the robes of the priesthood, much less the tight fitting wraps of the Corkoro or the fancy shawls and wraps of Shizenrei. They had some kind of strange, twisted metal that hung across their breasts like some kind of armor, but it was far more decorative than functional. There were bangles all down their arms with carvings on them that Yuya thought were demon runes at first, but they seemed too angular and square for that. Three of them had visors over their eyes and large, dangling earrings, but the fourth wore nothing on his head. He had long, thinning white hair and a balding forehead, his eyes sunken and somewhat rheumy. He could have been anywhere between sixty and eighty, but it was impossible to tell.

He smiled in a slow sort of way when Yuya arrived, but Yuya couldn't tell if it was creepy, or just because he was old enough that everything was slow. Edo's mind snapped beside Yuya with a brief spark of fear and protectiveness, as his mind began to turn about the man before them and what threat he could give to Yuya. Who was he; did Edo recognize him? He was a diplomat from Meiying, right?

The messenger slipped around them to bow briefly.

“Announcing Lord Yuya, God of Zarkania and Keeper of Endings,” he said. “Presenting Chancellor Paraside of Meiying and his retinue.”

“Please, call me Doctor,” the old man said, his voice warbling slightly as he smile, showing off a few spaces where he was missing teeth.

Yuya's heart plummeted. The  _ Chancellor _ ? The Chancellor himself of Meiying was here? Oh  _ demons _ .

It was Yuuri hissing in his head that reminded Yuya of who he was supposed to be, and he quickly composed himself. He did not bow, as Yuuri instructed—he was supposed to be a god, after all. He wasn't at the same level of etiquette as human leaders.

“Welcome to Zarkania,” Yuya said, parroting Yuuri in his head sentence by sentence. “I'm surprised to see you yourself in person, Chancellor.”

“Doctor,” the man corrected. “I much prefer to use the title I earned through my own hard work, rather than the one that was gifted to me for only a brief time.”

He smiled again, and Yuya shuddered in spite of himself. He made him feel so uncomfortable. There was really no reason for it—he looked harmless enough, and Yuya didn't hear a thing from his mind, so he didn't currently mean Yuya or his country any harm. Still...Yuya's skin crawled, and his hair stood on end. He felt nervous almost on a primal level.

“ _ That means something is wrong,”  _ Yugo said.  _ “Keep your wits, Yuya.” _

“ _ Shut up and let me do the coaching,”  _ Yuuri hissed.

“Doctor,” Yuya said, nodding slowly. “Again, I am very surprised to see you in our city yourself. I'm also surprised that you wanted to see me—surely my people have informed you that I am no longer an Emperor, and have no place in their diplomatic discussions.”

“Of course, of course,” the Doctor said, straightening his long shirt. “But I could not come to Zarkania without paying my respects to the...quite famous god of Zarkania.”

His eyes made Yuya feel sick. His stomach twisted.

Yuya barely inclined his head at Yuuri's coaching. Yuuri told him not to talk now, let someone else speak for him—“ _ you're a god, and you are unconcerned with human affairs. Keep that role, in your head, Yuya.” _

Yuya glanced briefly over at where Gongenzaka was standing, and Gongenzaka caught the thought. He cleared his throat.

“As you requested, you have met the Lord Yuya,” Gongenzaka said. “Perhaps we could discuss the meaning of your arrival now?”

“Of course,” the man said, clapping his hands. “Of course. Where are my manners.”

He smiled that somewhat distant, rheumy smile of an old, doddering man, but Yuya wasn't buying it. He wanted to run away, right now.

Yuzu's hand grabbed his, curling into it behind his robes. He grabbed hold of it tightly for something to cling to. At least she was here, he thought. At least he wasn't alone under these eyes.

“I heard all about the exploits of your fight for freedom,” the Doctor said. He hummed and swayed a bit, and one of his silent attendants passed him a short cane for him to lean on. “I had to come as soon as I could—I hear you are trying to put together a democracy.”

“We are,” Chojiro said, looking just as wary as Yuya felt.

“Republic,” Shinji muttered to himself in correction.

“Wonderful,” the man said, smiling widely. “Absolutely wonderful. Democracy is among the greatest human experiments—I'm so pleased to see the winds of progress touching even Zarkania. I have come to offer some of my assistance, and the assistance of my country.”

_ It can't be that easy, _ Yuya thought.

Luckily, Shinji had the same thought.

“With all due respect Chan—Doctor,” Shinji said. “We know you were in contact with the old government. You probably understand our...uncertainties towards you and your...machine.”

His eyes flickered outside, through the doors on the other side, and Yuya blinked. What machine?

“The airship they came in on,” Selena breathed from behind him.

“I understand, completely,” the Doctor said, inclining his head. “I will not deny that I and my council were in...talks with High Priest Roger.”

He smiled, though, making Yuya shudder again.

“But nothing between us was ever finalized. And the way of progress is to adapt. I have faith in your new experiment, and I would like to invest in it.”

_ Don't trust him _ , Yuya wanted to say. But he had nothing to go on except for a crawling sensation of nerves. He didn't hear anything bad from his mind, and there was the fact that he had come himself, despite the danger that would have gone along with it.

“As a sign of my goodwill, I have brought some of our newest technologies with us as a peace offering—they will make the rebuilding effort run far more quickly and smoothly.”

There was no reason for Yuya to be so nervous. No reason at all. There was nothing cruel or destructive in the Doctor's mind, and even Asuka, who had had the power to go completely unnoticed, was only able to hide her thoughts from Yuya while she had been unseen.

_ I have no reason to fear you _ , Yuya thought.  _ My friends are around me, and no matter what you do, you cannot beat us all. _

He swallowed.

_ But why...why do I feel like... _

Like  _ he _ was the one who was surrounded? Like he was the one in the unfamiliar land, leered down at by a foreign emperor, and completely at the man's mercy?

“We will...tentatively accept your gift, Doctor Paraside,” Chojiro said. “However, we will want to discuss with you in far more detail beforehand what exact kinds of agreements you'd like to put forth.”

“Not to mention, you should know you’re early,” Shinji said quickly, eyes level at him. “Our true elections won't begin until next week, and it will take some time to compile the votes from across the empire.”

“I understand, of course,” the Doctor said with a faint, coughing laugh. “But of course, you must understand—I am a man of science before anything else.”

His smile rested a little too long on Yuya then, and it took everything Yuya had not to hide behind Edo. He held Yuzu's hand so tightly he thought he might break her fingers.

“I love to watch experiments,” he said. “And democracy is, as I said, one of the greatest experiments of all.”

Yuya wanted to throw up. Could he leave the room yet?

And then the curtains on the far door pulled back, and a second messenger appeared, her face alight.

“Excuse my interruption,” she said breathlessly. “But we have another foreign visitor.”

“Another one?” Rin swore.

“Let them in,” Chojiro said, but he looked exhausted. “I hope you won't mind, Doctor, but we don't have anywhere else to admit visitors at the moment.”

“No trouble at all,” the man said. “No trouble at all.”

The messenger hopped through, and presented one hand out.

“Presenting the delegation from Rayglen, their intermediary abbess and her attending monks.”

Yuzu made a choking sound, and Ruri actually swore. Yuya's head spiked with nerves. The abbess? Was—was that woman here—

But the person who swept through the curtains was not the red-haired abbess who had tortured Yuya.

Instead, it was the dark haired girl with the magenta eyes, the one who had stayed behind to cover their tracks.

Masumi Kotsu grinned across the room at them, two young men smiling on either side of her with their arms folded.

“Hey, girls,” she said. “Miss us?”

Yuzu made the tiniest sob.

“Oh goddess,” she said.

“Hokuto, you son of a bitch,” Rin said, eyes widening. “And Yaiba, you too??”

“Masumi,” Yuzu breathed, and all three young Rayglen clerics grinned.

“Sorry we're late,” Masumi said. “What have we missed?”

Yuya's sigh of relief unfurled.

Oh thank heavens they hadn't had to end on that note...

* * *

It was dark and quiet in Yuzu's little room. It felt so unlike Rayglen. So cold and tight. At least there was a window looking out into the stars, but it wasn't enough. She couldn't stand still, either, pacing in circles around the room.

Her head buzzed. The goddess's appearance. Meiying and its frightening Chancellor. The appearance of Masumi.

The light, easy way that Ruri, Selena, and Rin seemed to inhabit the world, and the way that Yuzu's chest ached every time she looked at them, her hands clenching and unclenching at something she didn't know how to reach.

There was a soft tap on the door that drew her out of her thoughts.

“Hello?”

“It's me, Masumi,” came Masumi's voice. “Is this Yuzu's room?”

Yuzu's heart leaped, and she ran to the door.

Masumi stood there, in the long white robes that looked too big for her, almost glowing in the night. She smiled awkwardly.

“Hey,” she said. “I know this is probably against protocol or something, but—”

Yuzu threw her arms around Masumi's shoulders. Masumi briefly flinched, and then her arms wrapped around Yuzu's waist, and she sighed.

“I'm so glad to see you,” Yuzu mumbled, tears bubbling in her eyes. “When I fled from Rayglen, I thought...maybe I'd never see you again. I wanted to hug you right then and there.”

“Believe me, I did too,” Masumi said, sounding awkward.

“What happened? How did you become the abbess?”

“Yeah, somehow that question never came up during the meeting, huh?” Masumi said, scratching her chin. “Funny story...I uh...I didn't kill Himika, if that's what you're asking. I fought her for a bit, but she really got me. Hokuto and Yaiba saved my ass, dragged me all bloody up through the abbess's office.”

She licked her lips.

“They got me to your dad, actually,” she said. “Sorry I couldn't bring him with me, he's really busy helping back there keeping everyone calm and organized.”

Yuzu shook her head, feeling choked up.

“I'm just glad to hear he's okay,” he said. “What about Mieru?”

“She's helping too—she's getting a lot better at talking, and because she can tell small fortunes, people really believe she's a mouthpiece of the goddess. Actually, that's how I ended up in this particular mess.”

She gestured at her long white abbess's robes.

“I just about killed her, honestly,” she said, laughing nervously. “I'm a fighter, not a religious leader.”

She licked her lips.

“After Hokuto and Yaiba got me out, Mieru found us. She had stirred up the whole town and they were all moving towards us. So when Himika came up, all mussed hair and screaming and trying to kill us, they figured out pretty quickly that she was off her rocker. The townspeople turned on them as soon as they found out what had been happening to their kids underground.”

Masumi smiled wryly.

“Anyway, long story short, pretty much all of the nuns save for a few who didn't know what was happening are all locked up right now while Rayglen tries to figure out what it wants to do now. Mieru pointed me out and basically told them the goddess wanted me, Hokuto, and Yaiba to take over, and...well.”

Yuzu blinked.

“And...and did she?”

“Hell if I know. The way Mieru was laughing afterward in the corner of the sanctuary makes me think she did it partially for a laugh. She can say basically anything she wants and everyone believes her. She’s becoming a little shit.”

Masumi rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, we tried to make contact with Corkoro afterward, see if maybe we could find out what happened to the rest of you, and they told us that most of their warriors had come here to fight the Inner Priests. Sorry we couldn't get out here for that, by the way...I really wanted to come, but Hokuto told me to cool my head.”

“It's fine,” Yuzu said, squeezing her hands. “I'm just glad you're here now.”

Masumi's lips quirked awkwardly, and she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Anyway, uh...enough about me. Is it...okay if I come in for a minute? Not for long, I won't keep you up, but I just...wanted to see you.”

Yuzu squeezed her hands again, guiding her inside. Masumi sat awkwardly at the edge of the bed, looking around the tiny room. Yuzu closed the door and lit her oil lamp.

“Not the best digs for one of the heroes of the coup,” Masumi joked.

“I requested something small,” Yuzu said, sitting on the table next to the desk. “Big places make me worry too much.”

Masumi raised an eyebrow.

“It looks like you've been doing a lot of worrying anyway.”

Yuzu's shoulders slumped.

“I'm that obvious?”

“I could see it from all the way across the room,” Masumi said, putting her hands onto the bed beside her. “What's up?”

She tilted her head, hair sliding around her face, waiting. Yuzu let out a brief laugh.

“Where do I start?” she mumbled.

She looked down at her hands—only to be met again with the vision of her sword stabbing through Roger's head, and the blood dribbling out of his lips, replaced then with golden eyes full of tears mumbling thank yous through the blood in his mouth—

She gasped, and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“I thought I was better than this,” she mumbled. “But I'm so scared, Masumi. I'm too scared.”

Masumi stood immediately, crossing over to her and putting her hands on her shoulders.

“Sh, sh, sh,” she said, rubbing soothing circles on Yuzu's back. “It's okay...it's okay.”

Yuzu leaned back against her touch, trying to stabilize herself in the now.

“You've seen the girls, right?” she said, her throat thick. “You've seen...what they became.”

Masumi nodded when Yuzu opened her eyes.

“I didn't know how to ask,” Masumi said. “Are they...did they become champions?”

“I don't think even they know,” Yuzu said. “But they all told me—their minds clicked, the world got clear and resonating, and the sword came to them. It was the only thing that could kill the demon warriors and the hybrids.”

She shook her head.

“I can't say they're anything other than champions, unless they've become goddesses themselves.”

Masumi shook her head too, lips parted with awe.

“Three of them?” she whispered. “We never heard anything about there being more than one.”

Yuzu looked down at her lap, still leaning into Masumi's hand. To remind herself that she was real.

“I did it too,” she mumbled. “I got the sword too. People keep stopping me and thanking me for killing Roger, but I...I didn't keep it, Masumi.”

She felt so empty-headed all at once, so dizzy and lightheaded.

“What do you mean?” Masumi asked.

“I mean I felt it, Masumi. The same thing that those three felt—I felt it. I felt my mind click too, and the world got clear, and the sword came to me. But then...”

She hugged her stomach and doubled over against her knees.

“It hurt so bad...I couldn't stop it from hurting. My chest felt so tight, and I kept seeing someone dying, someone I didn't want to die. I couldn't take it. I felt all the tears and horror and self-hate rushing through me and I didn't know what to do with it.”

She looked up at Masumi, her eyes blurred with tears.

“I had the power they did, Masumi, I held it—and then I rejected it. I threw it away.”

She covered her mouth with one hand to hide the choking feeling.

“I'm so weak, Masumi. I don't know what I did wrong. Why didn't I just accept it, like they did? I could be someone whose voice mattered, I could tell them that they need to listen and let Yuya go to Sanctuary, but I'm not. I'm just nothing, Masumi. Maybe I shouldn't have been the one to come on this adventure at all.”

“No, Yuzu, no,” Masumi said. “Look at you...you didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing wrong with you.”

Yuzu shook her head.

“I'm starting to think there is,” she mumbled. “Because if there wasn't...why do I feel so empty...?”

  
  



	58. FIFTY-EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Sound of the End](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UioSu2j8K1c)

**** “You must forgive me, my lord,” Edo said. “I don't know why they're all being so stubborn about this.”

Yuya shook his head from his spot sitting next to the window. He thought he understood.

“Everyone's on edge with the Meiying Chancellor here,” Yuya said. “Sending me away could make them look weaker.”

Edo huffed.

“I will get you to Sanctuary,” he said again. “Even if I have to sneak you out in the middle of the night.”

“We can't do that,” Yuya said.

“As soon as the Chancellor leaves, then. We'll leave as soon as he's gone, no matter what the council says. If you don't get a say in the governmental policies, they shouldn't get to tell you what you're allowed to do with your life.”

Edo was actually getting quite fired up. Yuya wished he could be feeling fired up, too, but he was just feeling sick. Edo did have a point, though...he felt like he was just in another type of cage again. Would he ever get to leave a place whenever he wanted? If he continued to be a god like this, he might not. He looked down into the town below.

The Chancellor had been here for a little over a week already, and he was showing no signs of leaving. He kept tottering around and watching people work on the rebuilding of Zarkania, or leering over council meetings, or trying to show off some of the new technologies that he had brought with him as gifts—gifts that the council still hadn't accepted. Yuya was glad of that much, that everyone was as wary of him as he was.

“He might not leave,” Yuya said quietly. “He's waiting for something...”

“What was that, my lord?”

Yuya startled out of his thoughts.

“It's nothing,” he said, standing up. “Maybe I should go out and walk around a little more too. I think the Chancellor might be making everyone nervous; I want to see if I can talk to anyone.”

Edo hesitated, but then he nodded.

“About the Chancellor, my lord,” he said, as they walked out into the hallway.

“Yeah?”

“Have you...heard anything from him? Anything that we should be wary of?”

Yuya looked down at the floor, at the stairs as they begun down them.

“No,” he said. “I don't hear anything from him.”

“That means he truly has no ill will?” Edo said, sounding surprised.

“I....I don't know,” Yuya said. “All I know is that I can't hear his thoughts.”

Did Meiying have some technology that they could use to hide their thoughts from him? But no, that seemed awfully specific. Not even Roger had known that Yuya could hear his thoughts. And as far as Yuya knew, there wasn't anyone in the world with a Blessing for reading minds. So why would they create a defense against something they didn't know was around?

“You're right,” Yuya said suddenly. “As soon as the Chancellor leaves, we should go. I want to do my part for everyone here, but...my next episode will be in just a few days at this rate.”

Edo looked at him quickly with surprise.

“Already? But the new moon is not yet for almost two weeks.”

Yuya winced at a faint spike of pain in his head.

“My last episode started two days before the new moon and lasted until two days after,” he said. “Even if I was unconscious for most of it. I think they're starting sooner and sooner the closer we get to the eclipse.”

No matter what Yuzu said, he didn't want to be in such a dense location when his next episode hit. He didn't trust himself yet. Not until he got to Sanctuary, and met the goddess there. Hopefully, she could tell him more...he wished she had just spoken to him here, in the temple when she had been here. Why hadn't she? Why had it taken her so long to appear to him, if she was still alive?

He heard footsteps on the stairs ahead, and looked down, blinking.

His stomach turned when he saw the Doctor moving up the stairs towards them. Edo immediately moved around Yuya to be walking at his side, making a barrier between Yuya and the Doctor.

“Ah,” the Doctor said, smiling that thin smile of his. “My Lord Yuya.”

“Doctor,” Yuya said, greeting him curtly. “Touring the temple?”

“I have a love of old architecture,” the man said with a smile. The messenger that was clearly showing him around looked remarkably uncomfortable, and sent Edo a furtive, apologetic glance.

“Not much of it still stands,” Yuya said, again repeating what Yuuri was telling him to say. “But if it pleases you to look at crumbling structures, enjoy your stay within the walls.”

“Oh, more of it still stands than you would think, all things considered,” the man said in a pleasant tone. “The old peoples who designed these structures knew a thing or two. You cannot appreciate progress without the groundwork that has been laid by the ancient peoples.”

“Of course,” Yuya said, and he began to walk again with his eyes forward, Edo at his side. Edo was getting a little punchy, his mind twisting with things he would like to do to the man that was making his god so uncomfortable.

“Our ancient peoples were quite intelligent, more than we give them credit for,” the man kept talking, as though Yuya were still standing right there. “There were some things they failed to quite capture, though. One of my pet projects is studying old astronomical calendars.”

Yuya continued to walk, trying to ignore him.  _ I'm a god. He's beneath me, _ he kept repeating over and over, even though he didn't believe it. It was the only thing that kept him walking.

“So many calculations were faulty,” the man said, shaking his head and humming as though it were a shame. “If they had had all the tools we had now, they wouldn't have made so many easy mistakes, like the cycle of eclipses.”

Yuya almost choked, his heel slipping on the stairs.

“ _ Don't stop,” _ Yuuri hissed.  _ “Keep walking.” _

Yuya composed himself, and continued down the stairs. The man did not say another word, and when Yuya chanced a glance behind him, the Doctor was gone. His heart thrummed in his chest. It was...it was coincidence that he had mentioned that, right? Complete coincidence.

It was....a coincidence...

 


	59. FIFTY-NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Birth of a Wish (this cannot continue)](https://youtu.be/l1RM8ECQe5g)

**** “You're sure it's going to happen soon?” Yuzu said.

Yuya nodded, staring out the window.

“And you're sure that...that the person I become during an episode is...reasonable?” Yuya said.

Yuzu nodded too.

They sat facing each other on opposite sides of the window bench, Yuzu with her elbow resting on the sill and her hand on her chin. She still felt twitchy and edgy. Not just from her conversation with Masumi days ago, or the aching feeling she had every time she was around the girls, resulting in her starting to avoid her friends, but from...everything. Yuya was on edge too.

“What do you know about astronomy, Yuzu?” Yuya whispered.

Yuzu blinked, glancing across at him.

“What do you mean?” she said.

Yuya shifted back and forth in his seat, his hands kneading against his knees.

“I mean...the calculations about when the moon cycle is. And like...eclipses.”

Yuzu's heart twisted and she thought she knew what Yuya was talking about.

“Our moon cycles through the phases once every eighteen days,” she said. “Give or take a day or two.”

“Right,” Yuya said, sounding nervous. “I know that. But what about eclipses. How do people calculate those?”

It felt like years had passed since that day she had hidden in the rafters of the sanctuary and heard the nuns talking to Himika about how the calendar could be wrong.

“I don't know,” Yuzu said, her voice hoarse. “I don't know much about astronomy.”

The mood was souring very quickly, and she fumbled. She had to say or do something. Yuya was getting nervous—what if the calendar really was wrong? What if they had less time than they thought they did to get to Sanctuary? The Chancellor still showed no signs of leaving, and Reiji had even arrived to attempt to lure him to Shizenrei for a meeting. He hadn't taken the offer yet. At least Reiji was in the city again, Yuzu thought. There was something very reassuring about him—he didn't get visibly fazed by much.

“I think I might have about three hours,” Yuya said. “Three hours until it hits.”

Yuzu glanced towards the sky. The sun had set several hours ago, and it was dark. The moon hadn't yet risen yet, though. It was going to be a little less than a half moon tonight. His last episode had started during a crescent moon. They really were starting sooner and ending later.

She reached across the space and put her hand on top of his. He didn't grab it back, but he didn't move it away, either.

“I won't leave you,” she said. “Not for a second.”

He nodded, but he kept his eyes on the town outside, on the fires that flickered in the night.

“As soon as your episode is over, I don't care what anyone says. I'll take you straight to Sanctuary myself. They can say I kidnapped you if they have to.”

Yuya half smiled at that, and that was enough to loosen the knot in Yuzu's chest.

“Wow. This is sappy.”

Both Yuya and Yuzu practically leaped out of their seats at the voice. Yuya automatically grabbed Yuzu's hand as they wheeled to look for the source.

“Up here,” the voice floated down, and they both looked up.

That acolyte boy who was Edo's apprentice was standing on the ceiling, looking down at them. It was weird, though, because his hair wasn't hanging towards the floor, and his robes weren't either. They all fell neatly towards the ceiling, as though that were the right way to stand up and not the other.

“How did you get in here?” Yuzu said.

“Let myself in,” he said airily. “Edo hasn't let me come in to meet you for real yet. I kind of wanted to. And I was bored.”

He crouched and leaped from the ceiling, and all at once, he spun neatly in midair and landed on the floor with barely a sound.

“What was that?” Yuya said, his eyes widening with awe.

“My Blessing,” the boy said, smiling a little smugly. “I can manipulate gravity.”

“That's incredible!” Yuya said.

It was making Yuya's eyes light up, so that was all right. Yuzu smiled too. She felt more relaxed now that Yuya was.

“Anyway, my name's Sora,” the boy said. “We met kinda briefly back in Shizenrei.”

“You were the one who brought us word of Zarkania's rebellion,” Yuzu said. “I remember you.”

Sora nodded.

“And you're the one that killed Roger.  Good riddance.  I owe you one.”

Yuzu winced, but she took the compliment. Sora leaned back on his heels.

“So what's this about an episode?” he said. “Edo won't tell me anything. I'm guessing it's like that demon mode you were in during the fight, right?”

Yuya sobered up then, and nodded.

“R-right,” Yuya said. “I'm going to be changing in a few hours, and I probably won't be back to myself for a few weeks...”

He swallowed.

“You should probably go, anyway,” he said. “I'm...really violent in that mode. I don't want to hurt you.”

“I kind of noticed, what with the battling and all,” Sora said. “But she's here, isn't she?”

“She...keeps me calm,” Yuya said. “Sort of. I think.”

“I'm here to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, either,” Yuzu said.

Sora shrugged.

“Then I can hang out for a little longer, right? I mean, your demon self can't learn to like more people until it's around more people. And anyway, I can just go out the window or up the ceiling if I have to.”

“You're...really chill about this,” Yuya said, blinking.

Sora just cracked a smile.

“I've seen so much shit lately,” he said. “I'm literally too exhausted to be surprised by anything.”

Yuya had to laugh, and Yuzu laughed too. He was so straightforward and blunt. It was almost refreshing. It seemed at the very least, in the midst of the stress, they were making a new friend today.

Sora flopped onto the bed without any care in the world.

“So you're really a demon, huh?” he said.

“I guess so,” Yuya said.

“Edo really thinks you're a god,” Sora said. “He's like a child lately—he's really excited that he gets to serve you so closely.”

Yuya blushed.

“He's...certainly friendly,” Yuya mumbled. “I wish I had gotten to know him sooner.”

Yuzu tilted her head at Sora.

“What about you? You don't believe Yuya's a god?”

Sora just blinked at her.

“Do you?” he said.

Yuzu hesitated. That was...a good question. Was Yuya...a god? She glanced at him, and found him looking back at her. Something about him seemed just as curious to hear the answer as Yuzu was to think of one. Yuzu hesitated a moment longer.

“I don't know,” she said. “Either way, Yuya is Yuya. And Yuya is my friend.”

Yuya actually broke out into a smile, and Yuzu knew that she had found a good answer. Sora looked pleased with that too, kicking his legs back and forth.

“That's good enough for me,” he said. “I don't really believe in gods, to be honest. But I believe in people—and Yuya, you seem like a person that I kinda want to get to know.”

Yuya smiled at Sora, and something of the stress that had haunted him for weeks lifted off of his face.

“I'd love to get to know you too,” he said. He winced, then, and his hand squeezed Yuzu's. “But...maybe you should come see me after my episode.”

“I told you, I can leave whenever I need to,” Sora said, shrugging. “But if you really want me to go...”

The door opened suddenly, and a mussy-haired, red faced Edo appeared.

“ _ There _ you are!” he said, looking straight at Sora. “What have I told you about bothering Lord Yuya!”

“Oops, he caught me,” Sora said, sounding incredibly pleased with himself.

“Edo, it's okay. Sora was just introducing himself,” Yuya said.

Edo looked a little pained but he hesitated.

“Please don't hold anything he says against him,” he said. “He is a strong-willed young man, but he's a good one.”

“I'm not offended,” Yuya said. “Really! I'm glad to meet him.”

“See? I told you,” Sora said, looking cross eyed at Edo.

“Would you have some tact before Lord Yuya?” Edo muttered.

Yuzu couldn't help but giggle. It was all so...silly, and yet this seemed so normal. Yuya was a strange god, with strange followers, and Yuzu couldn't help but laugh. Yuya started to giggle then too, and Sora cracked a grin before he started to laugh in spite of himself too. Even Edo half smiled, which turned into a full, almost tender smile as Yuya doubled over with his laughs, hugging himself.

“I don't even know what's so funny,” he giggled, actually tearing up.

“I don't either,” Yuzu said, covering her mouth but only creating more giggles.

Yuya came up for air then, still a little teary eyed.

“Thank you,” he said. Yuzu wasn't sure who he was thanking. He might have just been saying it in general. Yuzu opened her mouth to reply with something, but then there was a faint movement in the door, and her attention was caught.

Her blood turned icy at the ominous sight of Chancellor Paraside in the doorframe.

Edo snapped to attention, whipping around with a faint swear.

“Chancellor,” he said, tense. “I mean, Doctor Paraside. I believe the council has already discussed with you that it is inappropriate to be wandering into this part of the—”

“I'm well aware,” the man said with his old, shaky voice. “And I won't impose for long. I had hope to have a chance to catch Lord Yuya for a moment.”

Yuya shuddered beside Yuzu, and Yuzu gripped his hand.

“He doesn't have the time to talk to you,” she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop and think about propriety. “You need to leave.”

“I will, in a moment,” the man said, smiling blandly. “I had a proposition I had been hoping to make to Lord Yuya, and I wonder if he would hear it.”

Yuzu opened her mouth to say no, he wouldn't, but Yuya gripped her hand.

“Speak quickly,” Yuya said, in that hollow, I'm-pretending-to-be-more-divine-than-I-am voice that he used during political appearances.

“Of course,” the man said with a toothy grin. “You know by now that I am very much more a man of science than I am a man of faith. However, I cannot deny what I have seen among you and heard through eyewitness testimony, of your remarkable abilities.”

Yuya's lips tightened, and Yuzu felt a shudder pass through her.

“I understand you have much to be wary of from humanity, but also that you seem to be quite fond of your people. I know that you have already been doing all you can to help the recovery effort, despite your lofty status.”

“Please get to the point,” Yuya said.

The man shifted his weight on his cane to spread it more evenly against his legs.

“On behalf of the council, I would like to request that we be allowed to run some studies on your unique properties,” he said. “Your former priests gravely misused and mistreated you, but yet still I believe there may be some benefit that you could give to humanity if we only understood where your power came from.”

“You are asking our lord to put himself on your examining tables?” Edo said incredulously. “Are you mad?”

“It is a request, nothing more,” the man said, smiling evenly. Why did Yuzu hate his smile so much? “We all care for the good of humanity, do we not? Think of it as a partnership. You would not even have to leave your city; if you allowed it, we would bring our researchers here.”

Edo's eyes whipped back to Yuya.

“My lord, if you would take my opinion, please refuse him,” he said. “He has no claim on you.”

“You act so defensively...it is only a request,” the man said. “I bear no ill will, only the curiosity and desire to serve humanity.”

Yuya was trembling ever so slightly and Yuzu gripped his hand tightly back to soothe him.

“You can say no,” she whispered. “You can say no.”

Yuya swallowed. It took him a moment to get a hold of himself.

“I appreciate your offer and the intentions behind it,” Yuya said. “But my duties and my strength belong to the people of Zarkania for the time being. I must respectfully decline your request.”

The man bowed his head.

“Ah, I did assume as much,” he said. “Well, no one can say I did not offer.”

“Please go,” Yuya said.

The man sighed, disappointed, but he shifted back as though ready to move away.

“It is a pity,” he said. “But Roger's notes did imply you would be like this. A great pity—it seems our experiment must run in this fashion instead.”

Yuzu shot to her feet with a sudden instinctive premonition.

Outside, she heard a shout, and then another and another. They weren't screams, but cries of surprise. She bolted to the window, leaning out to see—what was that? Some kind of dome, spreading up over the city walls? It sparkled and shimmered a faint, glowing green, screening off the stars.

“What is that?” she said.

And then there was an explosion on the other side of the city, rocking the windows with the weight of it. Yuzu screamed, and Yuya grabbed hold of her, Edo shouted something, and the heat wave from the explosion rolled past them,

“The demonsdamned airship!” Edo was shouting as soon as Yuzu's hearing recovered. “The airship! It was a demonsdamned bomb! You bastard, you must know that this is an act of war!”

Fires were raging in the outer corner of the city. After all that time, trying to fix everything and put it all together—but that couldn't be it, could it? That could not possibly be it. The airship just exploded and that was it?

“I'm well aware of what kind of act this is,” the Chancellor said quietly. “But...some things must be done, for the sake of humanity's progress.”

“What do you plan to do here?” Yuya shouted, jumping to his feet. “Answer me!”

The man shifted on his cane again, and all at once, his image seemed to flicker. Yuya blanched.

“Oh demons, you're not even actually here—that's why I can't hear your thoughts—”

“You are perceptive, Lord Yuya,” the man said, smiling thinly. “It is a long-distance aural projection, a beautiful intertwining of goddess Blessing and human ingenuity. It's like I'm actually here; rather than the smoky, distorted and lagging connection of a remoteglass.”

He stepped onto the threshold.

“Can you imagine what else could be done by combining divine power with human science?” he said. “How far humanity will be able to stretch? Shouldn't you be glad? A true god would want to do everything in their power to see their creations succeed, shouldn't they?”

Sora crashed through the image of the Chancellor, but he simply passed right through it.

Yuya was shaking his head, trembling, cowering back against the bench.

“Oh demons,” he kept mumbling over and over again. “You've—that's some kind of forcefield around the walls—you're trying to lock me into the city while my episode starts—”

The man hummed, reaching into his pocket to withdraw a small pocketwatch and look it over.

“Less than an hour before the eclipse begins,” he said. “I wonder how long it will take you to clean out the entire city of humans.”

“I won't hurt anyone!” Yuya screamed. “You can't make me hurt anyone! I'm—I'm not going to become a monster!”

“Yuya isn't your experiment!” Yuzu shouted. “He won't do what you want him to do!”

“Ah, yes, of course, Ser Yuzu—I have heard how you seem to be able to calm him during his rages,” the man said. “Of course, that means we'll have to do something about that.”

He smiled again and Yuzu felt like throwing up.

“But did you really think we came all this way and had this much set up if we did not have plans to maintain this greatest experiment?”

Yuya yelped suddenly, and his hand snapped back to clap over the back of his neck. He looked down at his palm—there was blood and something smushed against his hand. Even as Yuzu moved forward, she saw Yuya's pupils suddenly dilate. He started to breathe harder and heavier, his whole body trembling.

“I've read Roger's notes in detail,” the man said. “And the council and our researchers have been working for years at Roger's behest to craft some tool that could control you.”

“It won't work,” Yuya said, his voice cracking, almost begging. “Please, you have to understand, it won't work, I can't be controlled—”

“Not with the paltry divine magics that Roger was attempting to use,” the man agreed. “But...I noticed what he did not.”

The man smiled again as Yuzu grabbed Yuya's arm, seeing how pale he was getting and trying to get him to sit down. Outside, the fires were still licking and raging.

“In your demon form, you are hardly more than an animal,” the Doctor said. “And you are highly motivated by fear. So...what if you were injected with a sizable dose of hallucinogen before your episode began?”

Yuya was trembling so badly now that he could hardly stand. His words slurred when he tried to speak.

“T-that bug,” he mumbled. “It—when it bit me—”

“We needn't worry about collateral damage after all,” the Doctor said. “There is nothing in this city I mind losing.”

“Yuya, stay with me! Stay with me! I won't let anything happen, I won't let anyone touch you, I won't let you hurt anyone!”

Yuya was starting to hyperventilate. His eyes rolled.

“I'm sorry!” Yuya suddenly babbled. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I promise, please don't hurt me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—”

“The hallucinations are already becoming very intense,” the Doctor said with a faint smile. “Once his panic runs his course, and he becomes exhausted, we'll simply collect him into an appropriate cell for further research. I wonder how many will still live in Eclipsine when he finishes.”

Yuya screamed, and it was all Yuzu could do to hold on to him. Edo swooped over to the convulsing form of Yuya, scooping him against his chest.

“We'll hide him in the basement, we'll keep him there until the hallucinogen passes through his system, Yuzu, it's going to be all right—”

Yuzu couldn't see for the panicked tears in her eyes, as Yuya continued to scream.

“I'm afraid that is impossible,” the Doctor said quietly. “Or rather, we cannot allow anything to interfere with this controlled experiment.”

Yuzu looked up to see the Doctor pointing the barrel of a pistol between her eyes.

“You're a projection,” she mumbled. “Y-you're a projection. That can't hurt me.”

“The projection cannot,” the Doctor agreed. “But what of the weapon on wheels hidden beneath the projection?”

His image vanished, then, leaving behind a metal apparatus with a pistol pointed at her. She wasn't going to be able to move fast enough—

Sora screamed.

There was a ripple of red fabric pressing into Yuzu's cheek, arms wrapped tightly around her, and she realized—oh  _ goddess _ .

Edo grunted as the second bullet ripped through his back. His grip on Yuzu relaxed and slipped. She grabbed for him uselessly, but he was too heavy. He slumped to his knees, still shielding her.

“Edo—Edo!” she screamed.

“You have to—live,” Edo gasped. “You're the only one—who can—protect him—”

“Edo!!” Sora shrieked.

The apparatus crunched in on itself immediately, as though gravity had increased on it tenfold. Edo slid to the ground as Yuzu pawed uselessly at his chest. There was blood seeping through his robes already, and he gasped, his throat burbling slightly—oh fuck, had he taken internal damage?

Sora collapsed to his knees beside Edo, trying to prop his head up, but Edo shook his head.

“The—Lord Yuya,” he gasped. “Where is he?”

Yuzu whipped her head around—Yuya was on the ground, still convulsing, his back arching as he scrabbled uselessly at the air, his eyes wide and shining under the light of the stars. Scales were sprouting up over his face, and the spikes were slowly protruding out of his shoulders. Her eyes leaped to the window, to the half moon hanging in the air—

Oh no.

The moon was slowly getting eaten away.

“The eclipse,” she said, horror choking her. “Oh goddess, it's the eclipse. It's happening already. The calendar  _ was _ wrong.”

She scrambled across the floor to Yuya, willing her bracelet to begin to glow. She tried to hold his head, but horns sprouted from his forehead all at once and almost stabbed her. He was changing even more than he ever had before—he had a tail, she thought with shock. His robes were ripping with the sharpness of his scales, talons kicking out at the air.

“Yuya! It's okay, you're here, you're safe! I'm right here! Nothing is going to hurt you!”

She heard a faint banging sound and heard Sora gasp. She whipped around to see Sora stumbling back, his mouth in a wide O with blood coming up between his fingers pressing down over his chest. The three silent attendants that had been with the Doctor were here, and all three of them were armed.

Edo let out a choked cry, and all at once, Yuzu felt stunned by the rage of emotions that washed over her—she felt sad and angry and horrified and disgusted and overwhelmingly joyful all at once and she thought she might choke—

As her vision cleared, she saw Edo throwing himself in front of her again, saw his body flinch and then crumple to the ground after another bang. Yuzu stared up, still stunned by the lingering emotions, at the three weapons all pointed at her.

The first bullet in her chest didn't hurt, at least, not right away. It wasn't until the third one that she screamed, but her throat was already thick with blood. She wobbled on her knees, her chest a fiery pain, her head thick with fluff, and it was all she could do to stay kneeling.

She saw Yuya's eyes fixed on her as she swayed and fell sprawled across him. She couldn't move—her vision was starting to patch out already.

Yuya screamed.

She fumbled weakly for him as he lurched up from underneath him, felt his arms gripping her under the chest, heard him babbling. He kept babbling her name, over and over again—he still remembered her, she thought, dizzy with pain. He still...remembered her...

But then her name alternated.

“Yuzu—Yuzu wake up, Ray, no, please, Ray! Yuzu you can't, stay with me Ray, please, no, no no!”

Yuya let out another, horrible shriek. Yuzu wanted to reach for him, wanted to tell him it was all right. But she couldn't speak. Edo wasn't moving either, and Sora was crumpled against the bed, he might be dead too, she wasn't sure. Yuya fumbled across the floor towards Edo and Sora too, still screaming. Yuzu was going to die—and oh goddess, no, she was leaving Yuya...she was leaving Yuya like this...

She tried to reach for him again.

He gripped her tightly, so tightly she thought she might die.

“ _ I'll kill everything,”  _ he shrieked in his demon voice.  _ “I'll destroy it all every last miserable human I won't let them ever hurt anything or anyone ever again I'll kill them all—” _

No, Yuzu thought, but she couldn't speak, couldn't do anything as Yuya gently laid her down and bolted to the door. She heard screaming and then silence as he ripped through the three attendants, and then he was bolting away, and she was alone and dying on the floor.

She felt Edo, then, felt his hand flop against her.

“You have to wake up,” Edo gasped. “Yuzu, you have to come back—you're the only one that can save him—”

Yuzu coughed. She wanted to...she wanted to so badly... Edo was still crumpled on the floor, a blood stain dragged across the ground from where he had pulled himself towards her. Blood dribbled between his lips, but he still gripped at her.

He groaned, and his body shuddered. She grabbed at him weakly, eyes wide as she looked over his wounds.

“We need to find you a doctor,” she mumbled. “You and Sora, we need to find you a doctor...”

“No...time...” Edo gasped. He gripped her arm so tightly she thought it would cut off circulation.

Outside, Yuzu could hear Yuya starting to shriek again, could hear people screaming.

“You have to stop him,” Edo gasped. “Please...do whatever you have to...I don't want—I don't want his story to have to end like this...you're the only one who can save him...”

His hand slipped from her arm.

“Edo—Edo, no, please, I can't move either,” Yuzu cried.

His eyes were dying, oh, goddess, no, he was dying.

“G-go,” Edo begged. “Please...”

But there was nothing she could do. She could only lay there, bleeding out onto the floor, and listen to Yuya screaming.

_ I'm a failure _ , she cried to herself.  _ I failed him. _

  
  



	60. SIXTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Song of the Ancients - Atonement](https://youtu.be/CKOM3lNFajE)

“Yuzu, if you die, it's over! You have to let it in, Yuzu, you have to let it in! If you don't—if you don't we can't do anything!”

Yuzu managed to focus just enough through the darkness to feel the hands on her shoulders, shaking her. Was that...Selena? She sounded so scared...so upset...why was that?

“P-please, you guys have to wake her up,” she heard Sora mumble.  “She said she could keep him calm, you have to do something.”

Yuzu groaned with pain, and she knew. It was because she was dying. Selena was upset because Yuzu was dying.

Rin screamed.

“What good are we?” she shouted. “What good are we?? We can't even save one goddessdamned person!”

"Maybe if you would shut up, I could focus!" she heard Masumi's voice crack across them.  She felt fingers, feeling at the wounds in her chest.  She gasped softly from the faint pain.

She curled and uncurled her fingers, and Selena gasped.

“She's still alive, she's still alive,” Selena said. “Yuzu, listen to me—you're the only one who can stop him!”

Yuzu mumbled. Just...just let her sleep...she was so tired...  Hands gripped her shoulders tightly.

"Look at me, Yuzu," she heard Masumi. "Goddessdammit, Yuzu, look at me!  Don't you dare go to sleep!"

“Yuya is going to kill everyone!” Selena shouted. “Do you think he wants that? You have to stop him!”

Yuzu groaned, trying to squirm free of the hands.  She wasn't sure who was holding her.  Masumi, maybe, or Selena.  Couldn't be Ruri, as Yuzu could hear her choking on sobs a few feet away.  Rin was punching a wall.

“You...don't you...have the sword...?” she mumbled. “I'm not...champion...”

Selena let out a choked gasp.

“What we have is an echo!” she said. “I—I'm sorry, all this _knowing_ is too much for me, I keep forgetting to actually say things, I should have explained better, but it keeps coming and going and I'm not made to hold all the knowing by myself, we need _you—_ ”

“Not...can't...can't do it...”

“Our sword is just a fragment, it's enough to destroy shadows of the demon but not him himself!!” Selena said, continuing to shake her. “If you don't accept it—if you don't accept your power, we can't stop him!”

Yuzu felt her bracelet burning, and tears bubbled in her eyes.

“It...hurts,” she mumbled. She could sense it—the overwhelming pain and sadness that she had rejected on the battlefield weeks ago. “It hurts...so much.”

“I know, I know,” Selena said, choking. “But only you can do it—you're the only one that inherited the shard with her emotions, and you're the only one that can do what she did.”

Yuzu didn't understand...she didn't get it...

“Please, Yuzu,” Ruri cried. “For Yuya—for Yuya and Yuto and Yugo and Yuuri—for everyone, please—don't let them stay a monster, please, Yuzu—”

Yuya...

Yuzu groaned. She heard another shriek outside, and her chest clenched.

“Can I...do anything...?”

“You can, you can, you just have to accept the power,” Selena said. “That's all you have to do, Yuzu!”

“It hurts...”

“How do you think they're feeling?” Rin screamed. “ _How do you think they're feeling??_ ”

"Yuzu, focus," Masumi mumbled, her throat choking off half her words.  "Yuzu, please, I don't get what's happening either, but I believe in you, and—and so does Yuya, and he needs you."

Yuya. _Yuya._ Yuzu fumbled against the ground. Tears bubbled in her eyes.

It hurt so bad—but she opened herself up to it. She almost screamed as the floodgates opened, pouring the feelings into her head. The sadness, the pain, the regret, the anger, the self-hate—it was too much, she was going to fling it back again—

_I need to protect him..._

She let the power inside of her, and suddenly, her head was clear. Her chest was without pain, and she could see. What...was that it...?

“That's it, just like that,” Selena said. “You have to connect with us now, Yuzu, you have to let it flow through you.”

N-No, if she moved it from this clump in her chest, it would kill her from the pain of it! Yuzu forced it down into a lump beneath her heart, almost choking on it. It was enough to heal her, and she forced herself to a sitting position.

“This is—enough,” she mumbled. “As long as I can stand...”

“Yuzu, it's not enough!” Selena shouted. “You have to let us connect with you!”

Yuzu shook her head. She tried to stand up, and stumbled towards the window. Her head was still dizzy, squinting down into the town below. It was still incredibly dark, but the eclipse was passing over the moon. It had already done its damage. Fires still raged in the town—the explosion must have been to force the people of Zarkania out, so that Yuya would get to them faster...her stomach twisted with anger, and the clump in her chest leaked out some rage in response.

She swung her legs over the sill, and Ruri yelped. Yuzu gave only a passing glance behind her, at the people in the room.  Trembling Rin, her red face streaked with tears, fist still driven into the wall and leaving cracks.  Shaking Ruri, who leaned over the lump of Edo's barely breathing form, her hands pressed down on the wounds in his back.  Weakened Sora, who slumped against the bed, unable to stand, tears in his suddenly dull green eyes.  Frazzled Masumi, her hair and robes a mess from running to arrive here.  White-faced Selena, who tried to reach for her, her mouth hanging open with a desperate cry she couldn't let free.

“I'll go to him,” Yuzu mumbled to them. “I'll go to him right now.”

“Yuzu—” Selena tried to shout.

Yuzu had already twisted herself around, slowly letting herself down one bit at a time. She ran out of handholds about five feet from the ground, and when she hit, her ankles screamed at her. Yuya—she had to get to Yuya...she had to do something...

She pulled herself to her feet and dragged herself one step at a time towards the gates of the temple. As soon as she was out in the square, she could see people fleeing from the fires. People screamed, mothers huddled their children to their chest, warriors stumbled back with their swords swinging wildly, a few people tried to stand their ground and wave people in the right direction. She ignored all of them, plodding forward one step at a time in the opposite direction. She would find Yuya that way, she knew it. She could almost sense him pulsing in her head.

She stumbled down the alleyways, out of the square before the temple, towards the place where the fires and the shouting sounded the loudest. She broke out through into the market square, stumbling on the cobblestones.

Before her, Yuya roared. He was surrounded by almost five people, all circling him warily, looking as scared as he did.

Someone tried to throw a loop of chain around him, but he caught it on his wrist. He screeched at the burn, but yanked hard on the chain, dragging the person on the other end within reach of his claws. His claws ripped into them, and he flung the body to the ground. Another soldier shot forward, but their sword clanged uselessly against Yuya's back and shattered. He swiped at them, catching them backhand and flinging them all the way across the space to crash into a burning building. The smoke was so thick that Yuzu could hardly breathe.

“Yuya,” she gasped. She cleared her throat and shouted louder. “Yuya!!”

Yuya whipped around at the sound, his glowing red eyes wide with panic. He was drooling from how heavily he was breathing, his entire body trembling.

“Who are you?” Yuya gasped. “Another enemy?”

“I'm not here to fight you,” Yuzu started, but Yuya shot forward, and she instinctively snatched her sword from her belt.

It snapped off in Yuya's hands, and then she was on the ground with half a sword and Yuya's hands around her neck.

“Yuya!” she gasped. “It's me—it's me!”

Yuya didn't seem able to recognize her—and then his eyes widened, and he released her, stumbling back. He looked—oh goddess, he looked so scared.

“They're tricking me again,” he said, dragging his hands down his face. “The visions—they're tricking me. I don't know what's real—what's real?”

He gasped.

“The humans have done this to me,” he hissed. “I tried to trust them, I tried, but they betrayed me, they always take everything good away from me, even their own kind, the only good humans are always slaughtered—”

Yuzu struggled to her knees.

“When I woke up for the first time in my life, I was so _angry_ ,” he hissed. “And I had no idea why—I just had to kill. I had to fight and kill for my life or I knew I would _die_.”

His voice was thick with so much fear, Yuzu almost choked.

“And now I understand why,” he hissed. “It's because of the humans. It's because of the horrid, disgusting humans! They were always the thing I knew to fear before I knew what the danger was.”

He spat.

“I won't hesitate again,” he spat. “I'll rid this entire world of every human, and then I can finally _rest_. Then the entire world can be free of them and their terror!”

“What about me?” she said, her voice hoarse in the smoke. “Will you kill me, too?”

Yuya hesitated, his tongue flicking nervously between his lips. Fire licked buildings in the background, sending him alight with orange light from behind. He looked truly demonic in that moment, and Yuzu felt sick. He had horns spiraling from his head, and his hair had been bleached to a bone-gray like his skin, hanging limp around his face.

“You...you're not a human,” he said. “Don't you see? This world doesn't want you either. These people will not trust you—they'll fear you, just like they fear me. They'll hurt and destroy you again.”

He reached for her then, like a child reaching plaintively across the space between them.

“Please, come with me,” he begged. “Fight with me—help me rid the world of them. Then we can be at peace again, you and me, there will be nothing that can hurt us.”

Yuzu couldn't even pretend to be tempted by the offer. She shook her head, eyes full of tears.

“Are you listening to yourself?” she mumbled. “Yuya—this isn't the Yuya I know.”

Yuya's face contorted with rage.

“I'm not Yuya anymore!” he shrieked. “I’m not Yuto, or Yuuri, or Yugo!  The only thing I am is _death_!”

He shot forward, making Yuzu stumble aside.

“And if you will not fight with me, then I'll destroy you too!” he screamed, his voice choked. “I'll destroy you too!”

 _He's so scared,_ she thought, feeling dizzy. _Why can't...why can't I get through to him?_

She could see him so clearly. Her Yuya. Smiling at her over the campfire. His soft, kind voice echoing from his cell. His hand wrapped into hers, trembling as he tried to pretend he was stronger than he was. Laughing at absolutely nothing at all, his face going slack with relief.

She saw all of them. All of her friends, all the people that had surrounded him once. Reiji, with his calm, knowing smile. Sawatari with his constant humming and strumming on his lute. Tsukikage's quiet nods, Crow's thumb's up, Gongenzaka's giant bear hugs. She thought of Rin's belly laugh, Selena's easy blush, Ruri's hair fluttering in the lightest breeze. Tiny Reira, hiding under a bed from another nightmare. Shun flicking the feathers in his hair back over his ear. Masumi's awkward frame beneath her too long robes, Mieru's faint, distant smile. She thought about her father and his distracted wave when she said good morning with his nose buried in another manuscript. Edo's tender smile.

“They all love you,” she whispered. “They all love you so much.”

He didn't seem to hear her, launching himself for her again. Her chest was full of all those emotions that were not hers—except they were hers, now. She gripped her broken sword in both hands, tears prickling at her eyes.

“Humanity is terrifying,” she said, stepping forward. “It's so fucking terrifying. They hurt so many people.”

“Then help me destroy them,” Yuya begged. “Help me end them!”

“But humanity is beautiful, too,” she said. “It's so beautiful sometimes that it hurts. How can people be so goddessdamned confusing? Why can't they decide if they're bad or good?”

Yuya actually shrank back from her, hissing as she approached.

“But that's just it, isn't it?” she said, smiling through her tears. “Humans get to choose what they want to be. There's so much possibility. Isn't that beautiful, Yuya?”

“They'll kill you, too,” Yuya said. “They’ll fear you!  They'll destroy you if I don't destroy them first!”

Yuzu thought of Yuya's beautiful, kind smile. _“If I have to die for everyone to smile again, that'll be all right...I just want everyone to have the chance to be happy.”_

She choked on a sob.

“I can't help it,” she said. “I know humans can do that to me—but I can't help but love them anyway, just as much as I love you.”

Yuya screamed. He ripped at his bleached gray hair, his red eyes wild.

“We can't live with them! I know that now! Humans will always only destroy and hate and hurt, they'll only see us as monsters, and if I have to go through you to get to them, then I _will_!”

Yuzu closed her eyes, breathed out, and heard the air part as Yuya shot for her. Tears bubbled in her eyes—pain and sorrow and horrible, wrenching sadness.

“You were a human too,” she whispered. “You were more human than all of us.”

She accepted the feelings into her breast, because they were hers to bear now.

The world grew cool and quiet. She felt her broken sword melting under her hands, smoothing and lengthening. She felt three small gasps at the back of her head as she began to hear Ruri, Rin, and Selena's hearts all beating in tandem with hers. Her wrist burned, and when she opened her eyes, the gem was gone from the bracelet. It was in the sword, now, pressed into the hollows of the solid metal blade along with the other girls' gems.

She only had to tilt it up, and Yuya's momentum did the rest. The blade slid through him as easily as through butter, and he gasped. She felt his blood on her hands, trickling in thin droplets. For just a moment, his claws scrabbled against her.

And then he slumped. His head fell down against her shoulder. He sighed deeply.

“ _Yuzu...”_ he whispered, and Yuzu choked—that wasn't the demon's voice. That was Yuya's. His hands fumbled against her back, and they were human and soft again. She could hear his smile when he spoke next.

“Yuzu...thank you...”

Her conviction fled her.

_What have I done...?_


	61. SIXTY-ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Peaceful Sleep [Music Box]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af6ipkLaLK8)

****He was heavier than he looked. She could barely prop him up in her arms, especially with the blood making her hands slippery—she clung to him anyway. There was no letting go. There was absolutely no letting go.

“Yuya, Yuya, Yuya, Yuya,” she said, over and over, as though it would change anything. “Oh, goddess, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please—please you're going to heal, right? You're going to heal, you've healed from worse, I barely pricked you right—”

Yuya groaned softly. He tried to smile, and that was the worst part of it. His teeth were flecked with blood—but the smile looked so peaceful. No, no, no, _please don't look at me like that, like you're trying to comfort me, you're the one who's dying—_

Dying.

Yuya was dying.

She choked on her scream and it never released. His hand fumbled weakly for hers, resting on top of it.

“Yuzu,” he mumbled. “Yuzu...it's okay...it's okay...”

“It's not!” she screamed. “It's not! It's not! I killed—I killed you, I've killed you, no, please, you can't—you can't die, Yuya, you can't die.”

“You stopped me,” Yuya said, letting out a sigh. “T-thank you...thank you for stopping me from...from hurting anyone...”

There was nothing else in the world anymore. Not the torn up square, not the fires still glowing in the buildings, not the people shouting in the distance. Nothing except her and him in the middle of the square, his body curled against hers as she tried desperately to hold him up.

“It can't end like this!” she said, her voice turning up into a shriek. “Please—this isn't fair, you wouldn't have hurt anyone if it hadn't been—if it hadn't been for that _man_ , this wouldn't have happened!”

“S-someone probably would have...have tried to use me again...even if he...hadn't...” Yuya mumbled. “A-as long as I was like this...I'd never...be free...”

“No, please,” Yuzu said. Her tears were flowing so thickly she couldn't even see his face anymore. “Yuya, I'm begging you, you can't go, _please_. Y-you were going to see the world, you were going to travel again, what about the ocean? You wanted to see the ocean, Yuya, you have to stay—”

Yuya's eyes were slowly fluttering shut. She shook his shoulders, perhaps a little too roughly, but she could barely breathe, much less regulate her movement.

“You'll...have to...go see it...for me,” he mumbled. “P-promise...?”

He tried to smile again, but there was—oh goddess, there was fear in his eyes. He curled up weakly against Yuzu's chest, and Yuzu drew him closer, wrapping one arm around his head to cradle against her.

“You can't go,” she cried. “You can't go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...”

“I-I'm sorry,” Yuya said back. “T-that you had t-o be the one to...to do it...”

He was struggling to speak now, the blood staining through his robes. His hand curled weakly into her tunic, staining more blood into the white fabric.

“I'm...I'm sorry,” he mumbled. “I'm...I'm trying to—but I'm...I'm scared, Yuzu...I'm s-scared...”

“It's okay, I'm right here,” she said, hugging him tighter. “I'm right here, I'm right here—”

“L-let's...let's see each other...again...promise...?” Yuya mumbled.

“I promise, I promise, I'll never let you go, I'll never—I'll never forget anything, I'll never—”

His hand was uncurling from her tunic. She fumbled for him, but his head was already starting to loll over, his body slackening in her grip. She grabbed at him, but his body was so heavy and limp it was all she could do to hold him up. She pawed at the side of his face with one hand, tried to turn his head towards her, but—but there was nothing in his eyes. They were staring at nothing, nothing at all, and they were empty.

He was—

It was—

She thought, maybe, that she had screamed. That was the only thing that could account for the air that was gone from her lungs, or the way that her heart shrieked in her chest and thrummed in her ears. But she couldn't hear it. She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't see anything except for Yuya's limp, unseeing face, couldn't feel anything except for the weight of his slackened body in her arms.

Her hearing came back like a faint snap, and she could hear her own voice, her own scream ripping out of her throat. Her chest roiled with all of the pent up emotion, hers and the ones that she had accepted, swirling and twisting until she thought she would choke. The sword lay cold and unfeeling on the ground, the gems gone from it once again, but she did not look at it.

She screamed one more time, and this time, the sky answered her with a roar of thunder.

She thought, vaguely, that she had made this, because the sky had been clear only moments ago, and the way the clouds swirled over her head almost perfectly matched the roiling in her chest and stomach. Another scream, and the sky opened.

She didn't even feel the rain as it pounded down over her head, pouring down her head, soaking her hair to the back of her neck, and washing into her tears.

She didn't hear his footsteps, barely felt the hand that rested on her shoulder.

“Yuzu,” she heard Reiji whisper. “That's enough...that's enough...”

She tried to breathe, and slowly, slowly, the rain stopped. The sky still grumbled and groaned, though, and now, now she could hear the shuffle of feet and the mumble of voices as people started to make their way towards the square, people already staring who had already seen it happen—

She let out a faint screech when Reiji tried to reach for Yuya, hugging him to her chest as tightly as she could. The sky cracked with a bolt of lightning and thunder at the same time, and Reiji hesitated.

“I'm not stealing him,” he said softly. “Come on...let's get him out of the cold and wet.”

She couldn't do it. She couldn't hold herself together anymore. She felt herself slumping, her arms weakening—she had told him that she wouldn't let go, but she let Reiji take him from her arms so easily, scooping him into his own.

She wasn't sure whose hand rested on her shoulder next, but she let herself be pulled gently to her feet, let herself be guided away. She did not turn around for the sword. She didn't want it.

She just wanted....

She wanted...to disappear...

Maybe she would find wherever Yuya had gone....

* * *

Dark....it was dark...and cold...and wet....and...and where was he...?

He couldn't see, or feel...he couldn't remember...something hurt. Not physically, but...

He felt a hand on his chest.

“You're not supposed to be here yet.”

That voice...it sounded familiar...? And yet, he couldn't place it.

“Go back. You still have work to do.”

That was a different voice.  Hang on.  Who was talking to him?  What did—what did that mean?

“It's not over yet. I'm telling you, go back.”

A third voice, now!  Who were they?

He tried to open his eyes, but maybe they already were open, and he just wasn't seeing anything—no, wait, what was that?

It was just the barest flicker. He couldn't have described it if he had been asked—it was a glimmer of light and shadow, something that seeped into his bones and heart and put a goofy smile on his face, drawing out a long, relieved sigh. It was the feeling of being held by a mother, stroking his hair and singing lullabies to him.

But it was gone just as quickly, and for another brief moment, he thought he saw faces.  A woman with sun-tanned skin and long blond hair, finally loosed from her braid.  She looked far more radiant than she had when he had met Asuka Tenjoin in life, caramel eyes almost glowing like gold.  A man with a soft kind face, goggles shoved on top of his hat which mussed up his messy black hair, fiddling with his little mini automatons.  An older woman with wrinkles around her eyes, yellow blond hair in a bouncy ponytail and a constant, mischievous smile.  A tall man with pale blond hair and flashing purple eyes, who didn't have a smile for him, though the place where his throat had been cut was sealed over once again. 

As though they were each one person and yet separate, he felt a single hand push lightly against his chest.

“Come on,” Asuka Tenjoin/Jack Atlas/his parents' voices said. “Is the Emperor—no.  Is  _Yuya_ really going to fall right here?”

And then the hand pushed a little more firmly against him, and he was falling. He was falling, falling, falling, but where was he going? He wanted to go back, he wanted to see that place again...that beautiful glimmer just out of reach—

He saw a different light then, just a spark, and his lips parted, his breath caught. A name rose to his lips and lodged there—and he knew that he couldn't go back to that first glimmer. He felt something like a tight hug around his chest, and he knew—she was holding onto him.  He felt the glimmer of something swinging, back and forth and back and forth.  He grabbed hold of it.  Held tight.  He had to go back.

_Yuzu..._

* * *

Yuzu did not think about the way the wooden chair was digging painfully into her back. She didn't think about how uncomfortable she was, with her knees hugged to her chest and her face pressed against her knees, her clothes and hair still soaked to the bone from the rain.  She didn't think about the cloth covered lump on the table, or the soft, hushed tones that surrounded her.

Ruri or Rin had tried to talk to her when she got back. She wasn't sure which of them it was, she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember when or why they had stopped trying to talk to her, but she was glad. Her chest was so tight...she felt so sick...if she tried to speak, she would probably throw up.

“We can't get out of the city with that forcefield,” Reiji was murmuring quietly to Crow. “Meiying will likely attempt to collect his body...”

“And they can hold the forcefield over our heads, keep us locked out of any food, and force us to do it,” Crow murmured back. “Fucking...bastards...”

His voice was choked and thick. She heard him run a hand through his hair, heard him sniffle loudly.

“Fucking—goddessdammit....” he swore.

Yuzu lifted her head up, ever so slightly, but she didn't look at anyone. She didn't look at anything except the cloth spread over the lump on the table. She tried to speak. Not even she heard herself. She cleared her throat and tried again.

“We need to bury him.”

All the murmuring stopped, and everyone looked across to her. For a moment, no one spoke. Reiji nodded, then.

“I agree,” he said, his voice thin and wavering ever so slightly. “There's...there's a tomb already, behind the temple...”

“No,” Yuzu said, hoarsely. “No. I'm not putting him in another prison.”

She swallowed.

“He needs to be outside. Somewhere where the wind can touch him.”

“We can't get out of the city right now, Yuzu,” Reiji said, his voice as gentle as he could make it, despite the crack in his tone. “I want the same thing, but...we don't have too much time before the body...”

Yuzu slammed her feet onto the ground. Her head was so _thick_ , she could barely breathe. She turned on her heels, and stalked for the door.

“Yuzu, where are you going?” Crow called after her. “Yuzu!”

Yuzu wasn't listening. Her chest was thick and roiling and the world was dark and cold and awful. She heard Selena shout her name next, but she didn't listen.

She wasn't sure if there were any people out and about in the city, because she wasn't seeing them. She was only walking towards the walls, towards the thin, faintly shimmering shield that glittered overhead.

Her body felt light, eerie in grace. Despite the sickness that rocked her, she felt unworn, not at all tired. Her hands sparked with static electricity between her fingers.

She stopped at the wall, and stared up at the field that spread past it. She could climb over the wall, maybe. Or go to the gate. She wanted to get right up to the shield.

No. Never mind. She flexed her fingers as she felt the static quicken, like blood thrumming to adrenaline. She didn't need to be closer.

She didn't even need to point her hands, she just needed to look at it, and decide that she wanted it. The forcefield seemed to pause, and shudder.

And then it dissolved, melting in patches, as it slowly began to disappear from existence. Yuzu didn't even feel the slightest bit empty. At least...not physically.

“Yuzu!”

She paid a little more attention, then, turning to see Selena staring at her with wide, shocked eyes.

“How did you do that?” she whispered.

“I wanted to do it,” Yuzu said.

“No...Yuzu, listen—that's not something you should be able to do.”

“Why not?” she said, her voice snapping with more bitterness than it needed. She couldn't be bothered to regulate it.

“We're Creation, Yuzu,” Selena said. “What you just did was Destruction. You shouldn't...I don't...understand...”

Yuzu tightened her lips. The entire world, Selena, everything—it all seemed so dull and gray.

“I killed Yuya, too,” she said. “Isn't that Destruction?”

She walked past Selena before Selena could say another word. She was being awful, she thought. Absolutely awful...

But...but she couldn't find it in herself to care...

  



	62. SIXTY-TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Emil Sacrifice](https://youtu.be/EDhPsYeK-jU)

****“He would like it.”

She didn't answer. She wasn't sure she could.

Yuzu sat on the bench, in the same place she had been for at least three days. Maybe four. She had stopped keeping count.

Dennis leaned on his cane, his eyes cast down at the plot of earth that had not yet grown new grass. A faint breeze stirred his hair, rustling down the waves upon waves of grass. From here, up on this hilltop, you could barely see Eclipsine in the distance. There were a few other towns in the distance, spots on the horizon. The stain of mountains to the north and trees before it were distant echoes. Otherwise, the world seemed to stretch on forever, a sea of grass and flowers and the occasional spindly tree.

Dennis's flowers lay at the foot of the plot, along with the rest of them. There were a lot of them. Crow had built a small tower out of flat rocks at the head of the overturned earth.  Flowers, bouquets, and wreaths covered almost the entire plot, spilling out around it. Yuzu had watched everyone come to leave them, and other things besides. Shun and Tsukikage had each tucked a feather from their own bird into the slats of the stone tower. There were small carvings, food—Yuzu had stopped counting the offerings. More than one priest had come by, begging her to let them intern his body in his tomb, but she refused. She refused their offers to come and build a bigger mausoleum around him, too.

“I think he's better off in the wind and sun,” she mumbled.

Dennis nodded.

“I agree.”

He glanced at her from under his twisted bangs, bruises still healing.

“Have you been eating?”

She ducked her eyes to the ground. She could hear the wry smile in his voice when he spoke next.

“That's a no.”

He sighed.

“He wouldn't want this, you know.”

“You think I don't know that?”

It came out harsher than she intended, and she bit down on her lip.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “You knew him longer than I did.”

Dennis shrugged.

“I'm not offended.”

He pressed both hands onto his cane, groaning slightly.

“You made him really happy, you know?” he said. “I know it's small comfort, but...the last few weeks of his life were the best he ever had.”

She tightened her grip on the scabbard she still held against her chest, pressing into her thigh. She didn't have anything to say—she didn't trust herself to say anything.

She heard legs shifting through the grasses. A visitor. A few visitors, if her ears were to be believed. She looked up. She didn't recognize them—Eclipsine people. Her fingers tightened around her sword as she saw their dark faces. Ah. More of them.

She stood up as they approached the small grave, resting her hand lightly on the pommel of her blade and pressing the end of the scabbard into the ground.

“Are you here to visit the grave?” she said tonelessly.

For a moment, the group hesitated.  They looked uncomfortable, like they couldn't quite look her in the eyes.  A woman in the group tried to meet her gaze, and something hesitated in her expression before she dropped it.  Finally, the man at the front of the trio pointed one meaty finger in her direction, though his hand trembled slightly, as though he were facing down a lion.

“ _You_ ,” he said. “I heard what you did to the last group who tried to talk some goddessdamned sense into you.”

Yuzu's lips tightened.

“I'm not having this conversation again. Leave.”

“You really think he's dead?” the man shouted. “You saw what kind of monster he was! We ought to burn his body so he can't come back!”

Dennis flinched, edging back with a nervous paleness. Yuzu's lips tightened. She gripped her scabbard with one hand and the hilt of the blade with the other, but she didn't draw.

“I don't remember asking for your opinion.”

“You and those other three, you think you can just waltz in here and act like you know everything,” one of the other three snapped. “Didn't you see what he did?”

“He killed my husband,” the third woman said, her lip trembling. “He was a monster!”

“I said leave,” Yuzu said, surprised by the tonelessness even in her own voice.

The man didn't leave. He reached down for one of the flower offerings that had spilled off of the grave, and he ripped one of the flowers in half.

The perfectly clear sky clapped with a horrible rocking of thunder. The woman screamed and fell to her knees, babbling something, and the man's face whitened. He dropped the flowers and took a step back. Yuzu already knew that she was glowing, knew that the air was thickening with pressure. Goddess, but it would be so easy. She could feel the power shifting under her skin. So easy. Too easy.

_“Please don't,” Yuya whispered._

Yuzu released her power, and the air thinned again. She let go of the hilt, resting the blade scabbard down again. Tears bubbled in her eyes. Oh _goddess_ , what was wrong with her?

“Leave,” she said again.

They left so fast that she barely saw their after images, scrabbling in the dirt. She remembered to breathe, her shoulders lifting and falling with a faint tremble.

Dennis coughed.

“I'm surprised anyone tries to mess with you at all anymore,” he said quietly.

“There are still people who think they have the right to pass judgment on him, even though he's already...dead.”

“ _Do you really think he's dead??”_

She gasped softly, pressing a hand to her mouth. Goddess—she had wished every day that that would be true. That the earth would shift, and he would struggle free of the ground, looking dizzy, dirty, and disoriented, and ask where he was.

But he was gone.

He really was _gone_ now.

She turned back to the bench, and flopped down onto it. She gasped for breath and tried to calm her trembling hands.

Dennis didn't speak for a long time.

“You know,” he said, quietly. “He wouldn't want this for you.”

Yuzu swallowed.

“I know.”

“He wouldn't want you to be tied here forever.”

“I have to protect him.”

“You already have.”

Dennis sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I can't tell you what to do. I can't even tell myself what to do. But no one would let this grave be disturbed.”

“Meiying might come,” she mumbled. “They'll come and take his body and run experiments on him.”

“Do you think Rin or Ruri would let that happen? Selena? Reiji, or Crow, or Gongenzaka, or anyone?”

Yuzu didn't answer. She couldn't. Rin, Ruri, and Selena had spent some alternating shifts with her here, but they had mostly been spent either crying, or trying to cajole her into taking a break, going back to the city, getting something to eat.

“I can't leave him,” she said. “I promised him I wouldn't.”

Dennis looked down. He simply nodded, then.

“A promise is a promise,” he murmured. “I understand that.”

He didn't have anything else to say. He stood for a while before the grave, and then, he turned around, shuffling back down the hill to where his horse would be waiting to take him back to Eclipsine. Yuzu dragged her knees up onto the bench, hugging her sword to her chest, and resting her face against her knees.

“He's right, you know,” Yuya whispered. “I don't want this...I don't want this at all, Yuzu.”

He had been sitting on the bench beside her for a few hours, now. The hallucination came and went. But it wasn't good to talk to things that weren't there in front of people. She was off her rocker enough already.

“I know,” she mumbled. “I know, Yuya. I know.”

She pressed her face into her knees so that she wouldn't have to see him. The hallucination was so real...it was so clear and vivid and it sounded and looked and moved just like him. She had thought it was him, the first time she had had it. She had screamed—Rin and Ruri had looked at her with shock and nerves. But they hadn't been able to see him. So he must be a hallucination. Mind playing tricks.

“I want you to go out and see the world, Yuzu,” Yuya said. “Remember, you said you'd go see everything for me...if you really want to do something for me, don't stay here forever. Please.”

“They'll ruin your grave, and hurt you,” Yuzu mumbled.

“I'm not in that body anymore, Yuzu. It's not me.”

“Why won't you hate me?” she said, choking on her words. “Yuya, please...why won't you hate me?”

She could see him smiling at her, even in her mind's eye.

“How could I ever hate you? We're friends, aren't we? I don't want you to hate yourself...you didn't do anything wrong.”

Yuzu choked on a sob, burying her face deeper into her legs. This was a cruel fucking trick for her brain to play on her.

“Yuzu...?”

Yuzu's head shot up, and she clammed her mouth shut. Oh goddess—had someone heard her talking to Yuya?

Selena was standing awkwardly at the lip of the hill, her tongue slightly out. She couldn't quite look at her.

“Oh...hello, Selena,” Yuzu mumbled.

“Hello,” Selena said back, eyes on the ground. “Is it okay if I come and...sit here?”

Yuzu nodded, and Selena hesitated a moment longer before she wandered over, sitting gingerly on the very end of the bench, opposite the side the hallucination was still sitting.

They sat in silence for a really long time.

“How...how are things in Eclipsine?” Yuzu said. The silence was too much.

“They're...they're going all right,” Selena said. “The elections are finishing up. Looks like Crow is probably going to be on the council—he really doesn't want to be.”

Yuzu tried to crack a smile but she couldn't do it.

“They're still working on the temple, all things considered,” Selena said. “And Reiji's back and forth...he really wants an alliance between Shizenrei and Zarkania to work out.”

“That's good...”

Selena licked her lips.

"Um.  Masumi is worried about you."

"She can visit me any time she wants."

Selena looked at her.

"She's been here three times.  You didn't respond to anything she said."

Yuzu blinked.  What...?  Really?  She didn't even remember.  The days were blurring together in her head.  Selena sighed, leaning forward.

“Not a single message has come from Meiying,” she said. “And none of Reiji's spies have noticed anything going on in the country, or the capital yet. So...maybe they've decided to give up.”

Yuzu looked down at the ground. She didn't think the Doctor would give up that easily.

“If you're trying to convince me to leave the grave, say that it's safe for me to, it's not going to work,” she said.

“I know that, I'm not stupid,” Selena said, and for once, she sounded like her old self. It was so painfully nostalgic that Yuzu's heart clenched with pain. She turned her head to rest sideways on her knees, so that she could see Selena.

“You've changed a lot,” she mumbled.

Selena's eyes softened, but she didn't look at Yuzu, her eyes looking off into the distance.

“We all have,” she said softly.

“No, but...I know,” Yuzu said. “Ever since...that battle...something about you changed.”

Selena looked down at her palms resting on her thighs.

“I'm trying,” she said, sounding so nervous. “I didn't expect my Blessing to come like this...only, it's not really a Blessing. It's something else.”

She put a hand to her forehead.

“I know so much that it hurts sometimes,” she mumbled. “I know the exact chemical composition of a human being. I know how much gravitational force is needed to make a star, and how long it takes. I can tell you the exact number of planets in our entire universe, Yuzu—it's—it's dizzying.”

She swallowed.

“But for all of that, I...I can't know the important things,” she said. “I get flashes. Big and little ones. But I still don't really know exactly what we are. Are we champions, like the order said we were going to become? Are we new goddesses? I have no idea.”

She looked desperately at Yuzu then.

“And where did Yuya's power go?” she said. “I know about Creation and Destruction. I know that they can't exist without each other. But if Yuya's...gone...what happened to Destruction?”

Yuzu didn't want to think about things like this. She was starting to fade out again...but Selena was so distressed. She needed to say something.

“Maybe we don't need to know everything,” she mumbled.

Selena looked down at her knees.

“I wish I could think like that,” she said. “I wish so damn badly. But I know just enough to be scared. Yuzu...even though you're here now, and the goddess sword was completed—I don't think the four of us are complete yet. But I don't know how to fix it.”

“Then perhaps you should ask the one who might.”

Both girls' heads snapped up. Yuzu leaped to her feet—she hadn't even heard them!

But it was only Reiji, and Sawatari, the pair standing on the lip of the hill with Armageddon behind them. The horse whuffled at Reiji's shoulder, and he pet his face a bit absently.

“What do you mean?” Selena said.

Reiji tilted his head.

“Well...I believe Yuzu told us some weeks ago that they thought they had met the goddess, and that she had asked them to meet her at Sanctuary.”

Yuzu's breath caught. Oh goddess...how had she forgotten? How could she have just...forgotten that?

A sudden burst of rage roiled in her stomach. If the goddess had—if she had been here—then why hadn't she _done_ anything!!

Yuya put a soft, cold hand on her shoulder, and her stomach calmed.

“It's okay,” Yuya murmured. “It's okay.”

Yuzu tried to catch her breath.

“I don't want her help,” she said between grit teeth. “I don't want to get anywhere near her. She could have done something to stop all of this, and she didn't!”

“Are you sure?” Reiji said softly. “Are you sure she had the power to stop this, anymore than you did?”

Yuzu's breath caught again, and she almost choked. Her knees gave out, and she fell onto her bench again. Yuya rubbed invisible, soothing circles against her back.

“I don't want to go begging for her help,” she said. “I don't want it.”

Reiji inclined his head.

“I understand,” he said softly. “But...if you change your mind...”

He hesitated. Sawatari elbowed him in the chest, and he frowned at him. But he walked forward, skirting around the grave. He held out one hand in a loose fist, and after a beat, Yuzu tentatively put out her hand. She sucked in a breath when she saw the pendulum drip into her fingers, the chain sliding around her palm.

“You—you took it from him?” she said.

“I thought it would be better served with you,” Reiji said. “And I know he would have thought the same.”

His eyes trailed to the grave, and his eyes tightened. He tilted his head away so that the light caught his glasses, and hid his eyes. He paused just long enough to press his hands together before the grave, bowing his head.

“If you decide to go, simply send a message to me through remoteglass,” he said. “While I'm sure there are plenty here who will remain with the grave, I will send some of my own to guard it in your absence.”

Yuzu choked on a sob.

“Thank you.” It was all she knew how to say.

Reiji only nodded.

“We all loved him, Yuzu,” he said.

He seemed about to say something more, but then he shook his head, and walked away back to Armageddon. He stopped to press his forehead to the horse's head.

“I think you should go,” Yuya whispered into her ear. “Please, Yuzu. I think you should go.”

Yuzu only swallowed, thick and tight.

Sawatari let out a sigh that caught her attention, and she saw him shifting to sit cross legged beside the grave.

“Go on back without me, Reiji,” he said. “I'm going to sing Yuya a song before I go.”

Reiji only nodded. Sawatari strummed once to tune his lute, and fiddled with the pegs. Then he hummed out a note.

“Sing with me if you know it,” he said, glancing at Yuzu.

She didn't know it. But the song was sad, and she felt the tears bubbling over. She bowed over, and Selena put an awkward hand on her back.

“I think you should go,” Yuya said, and he sounded...desperate. “Yuzu...really...I think you should go.”


	63. SIXTY-THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Weight of the World](https://youtu.be/SGUeKCA5p1A)

****It didn't seem like she could hear him...or maybe, she could only hear him sometimes? He felt dizzy a lot. It hurt to try to talk. But he needed to. He needed to tell her...

“ _You still have work to do.”_

The words rang in his head. He was still here...somehow. Sort of. He couldn't give up...what was it that he needed to do?

He leaned down over her, laying across her bench with the sword she hated hugged to her chest. He tried to brush at her bangs, get them out of her eyes, but he couldn't. He couldn't really touch her. It...it hurt.

“Please, Yuzu,” he said, despite the pain in the words. “Please. We should go...you should go to Sanctuary...”

* * *

Yuzu startled awake, a cold sweat matting her hair to her forehead. She pawed at her hair, shoved it out of her eyes. She swallowed, eyes darting around—

Sawatari stirred on the other side of the grave, blinking and swallowing. He licked his lips and looked across at her groggily. He seemed to have fallen asleep in a cross legged position, with his lute still across his knees.

“Something the matter?” he said, yawning.

Yuzu didn't know why her heart was beating so fast. She could feel the pendulum hanging against her chest, so cold and biting that she thought it was going to stop her heart. Had she heard the hallucination of Yuya again?

But no, Yuya was nowhere to be seen. She had...been dreaming...? She swallowed, her throat thick and dry.

“Yuzu?” Selena called, turning around from where she had taken up a watch. “Are you all right?”

Yuzu couldn't speak for a long moment, mouth opening and closing uselessly.

She stood up, the sword hugged to her chest. It took her a moment for her brain to catch up with her.

“I'm going to Sanctuary,” she said.

For a moment, no one answered. And then a smile broke out over Sawatari's face.

“Excellent,” he said, rising to his feet. “When do we leave?”

“I—I said _I'm_ going to Sanctuary,” Yuzu said.

“Of course,” Sawatari said. “And I'm coming along—you can't expect me to sit here and not observe the final leg of the story? What will I write songs about?”

Yuzu fumbled for words, but she couldn't find anything.

“Besides,” Sawatari said, tilting his head at her. “You have the pendulum, but do you know how to get across half the known world to get to where the pendulum will start showing you the way? Do you know how to get through all of the countries and towns on the way there?”

He strummed his lute.

“Bards travel without much notice,” he said. “I'd be a great help.”

Yuzu opened her mouth again, to tell him absolutely not. She didn't want to be dragging anyone along with her—

“Oh! Also, I am apparently allowed to do this now,” Sawatari said, and smiling, he put two fingers to his lips and whistled once.

For a moment, nothing happened. And then Yuzu heard the heavy, thumping sound of hooves on the ground, and she looked up with surprise to see Armageddon plodding over the top of the hill.

“Reiji said if Armageddon was up for it, we could take him,” Sawatari said pleasantly, turning to Yuzu. “He can easily carry two, don't you think?”

Yuzu just stared at Sawatari, her mouth opening and closing silently. Then her shoulders slumped. She was far too exhausted to argue.

“Fine,” she said. “ _Fine_. You can come.”

Sawatari grinned widely, and slung his lute over his back.

“Ser Selena, I presume you can hold down the fort here?”

“I—I guess,” Selena said, fumbling. Her eyes glinted as she looked across at Yuzu. “Are you sure you want to do this, Yuzu?”

Yuzu wasn't sure at all. But she slung the strap of her scabbard over her shoulder anyway.

“I have to,” she said. “I think this might be the only choice I have left.”

* * *

Riding a horse was way more work than it should be. Yuzu knotted her hands into the reins, clinging to the saddle with her knees—a saddle she could barely get her legs over, the horse's back was so broad. Sawatari was sitting backwards behind her, for one reason or another.

“You're going to fall off,” she said.

“I'll get back on,” he said.

Why was he with her again?

“It's like old times, huh?” Yuya said, from where he floated along beside them.

“Not really,” she muttered.

“Hm? What did you say?” Sawatari said.

“Nothing.”

Sawatari hummed, but didn't press. He had his everpresent lute on his lap, and every now and then he would strum it briefly. It was starting to annoy Yuzu but she didn't say anything. Why was he even with her? She didn't get it.

Armageddon plodded on, slow and steady, even as the sky grew dark and cold overhead. They had been traveling for hours, she thought.  She hadn’t packed any supplies.  She had barely paused long enough to send Reiji the promised remoteglass message, and another fast line to her father without letting him speak over her.  And both of those were only because Sawatari had pointed out that she should.

She could feel the roll of thunder in her chest from the distance, even though she couldn't hear it.  On the horizon, she caught a flash of lightning.

“Your lute is going to get wet,” she said.

“It's gotten wet before. It’s used to life on the road.”

Yuzu curled her hands tighter against her reins. She wished she understood what she was feeling.

The hills continued on forever. They had left the vast plains of Zarkania behind, and were somewhere in the hills, where the grass was getting shorter, thinner, and more interspersed with rocks. Sometimes when they crested over the top of a hill, they were high enough that she could catch just the thinnest glimpse of the ocean to the south. But then they would dip into a shallow valley again, and the world would shrink once more, hills obscuring the horizon.

“So what will you do when you meet the goddess?”

She thought she had been used to Sawatari constantly piping up with silly, random thoughts and questions, but this one threw her off guard. She hesitated, biting her lip. Armageddon's ears flickered back towards them, but then forward again as he kept moving with the same steady pace as ever.

“I...I don't know.”

Sawatari tuned his lute against his hum briefly.  His back dug lightly into hers.

“Are you going to challenge her?” he said. “You have a lot of power of your own, now, you know. Are you going to give her a piece of your mind for not being here?”

Yuzu's hands tightened on the reins, and her knees on the saddle. The sky rumbled overhead, rolling the thick nimbus clouds faintly.

“Maybe,” she said. “Maybe I will.”

“Are you looking for revenge?”

Sawatari said it so quietly that if Yuzu hadn't been completely in tune to the questions now, she wouldn't have heard it. Her breath lodged in her throat.

Is...is that why she was going?

“If she had just...done something,” she mumbled. “She was right there...she just told us to go meet her at Sanctuary...but she didn't tell us what was coming. She didn't...why didn't she just say straight out...?”

Tears were blurring her vision, now. She was glad that Armageddon seemed to know where he was going, because she didn't have the slightest clue. She felt the tiniest drop of rain on her forehead, and then sprinkling like a thin mist over her face.

“Why didn't she do anything? Why did she abandon us in the first place?” she said. “She should be the one who's here, doing all of this, not me...why...I don't understand...”

“So is that why you're going?” Sawatari said. “To understand?”

“Why are _you_ here?” she turned back on him, looking over her shoulder. “Why are _you_ coming along? And why are you so curious about what I think?”

Sawatari just leaned back against against her back, the goddess sword digging in between them.

“I'm a storyteller,” he said, as though that explained everything. “I want to know the answers to things, so that I can tell other people about them later.”

“So you're just...following me so you have a nice story to tell?” she said, the words ripping out more caustically than she wanted.

Sawatari seemed to consider this for a long time.

“Don't you think it would have been a lot easier to get through all of this if someone had been around to remember the story of the goddess and the demon in the first place? And tell us exactly what happened?”

He picked at the strings, sending up a faint, sweet little tune.

“It might be nice if someone knows the whole story of this tale, someday. I intend to make sure I have all of the details.”

Yuzu opened her mouth, and closed it again. She didn't get it. She didn't know if she had to desire to try.

“I know why I'm here, Yuzu,” he said, then. “Maybe it's important for you to figure out why _you're_ here, too.”

Yuzu screwed her mouth shut, and did not reply.

Armageddon reached the top of the next hill, and paused, whuffling softly. Yuzu finally looked up from where her hands were on the reins, and she sucked in a breath.

“Is that...the ocean?” she mumbled.

She had never seen so much water in all her life. At the foot of the hill, a little meander downwards, water spread out all the way to the horizon, so far that she couldn't see a thing past it. From up here, she could just see the lights of the little town that hugged the shore, could see lanterns glowing on ships that were making their way in from the storm.

Sawatari let out a soft “hup” as he flipped himself around so that he was sitting properly behind Yuzu, and looked over her shoulder.

“That's Maia Lake, actually,” he said. “Well done, Armageddon, we've made great time.”

Armageddon huffed once through his nose, and then began down the hill, picking his way down the switchbacks.

“We can stay here for the night,” Sawatari said. “Reiji has a couple of coins hidden in some of these saddle bags.”

“And...and then what?” Yuzu said.

“Then we take a boat,” Sawatari said. “All the way up the river, to the Lake of Tears. Reiji thought Sanctuary might be in the mountains surrounding that.”

The Lake of Tears...it was so appropriate that Yuzu felt something in her wither.

Yuzu glanced automatically at the image of Yuya still hovering beside her. Her heart almost broke to see the fascination shining on his face, mouth wide and eyes sparkling at the vastness of the lake.

 _I'm just imagining how he would react,_ she thought. _He'll...he'll never actually...get to see this..._

She rubbed at her eyes with her fists.

_Why am I doing this?_

  



	64. SIXTY-FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Vague Hope (Cold Rain)](https://youtu.be/xat7mhoKTLQ)

**** The boat swayed under her feet, rocking slowly back and forth. She couldn't quite remember everything—it all seemed like a blur, getting her to this point. She remembered Sawatari paying for an inn and food, remembering eating only because the hallucination of Yuya had insisted that she must, and she remembered Sawatari playing for the bar customers.

She remembered the way that people had stopped, done a double-take to see her, and stared as though they thought they knew her, but couldn't place it. She had shifted uncomfortably, and disappeared into her room before anyone could approach her. Had word spread this far so quickly? Did they know that she was the one who had...?

She didn't want to think about it. The morning dawned cold, gray, and misty, and Sawatari had dropped the last few coins on boat fare. Armageddon watched them from the dock, staring at them until they were nearly out of sight. Then Yuzu had seen him turn away on his own, ignoring the people who looked at him strangely.

“He'll get back to Reiji on his own,” Sawatari said. “I think puca are smarter than we are.”

Yuzu didn't know how to respond, so she just nodded.

This boat was barely more than a curved raft, just big enough for her, Sawatari, the boatman, and two other passengers. It was incredibly foggy today, and the boatman kept glancing at his compass, muttering about crazies who wanted to get down the river in this kind of weather. She could only see a small bubble of space around them, the mist swirling around them as they cut silently through the waves. She trailed her fingers in the cold water, hoping that would keep her awake.

“Yuzu, this is beautiful,” Yuya said, his voice thick with awe.

At least one of them was enjoying themselves, at least...

The water couldn't distract her from her nerves for long, though, and she sent a glance towards the other two passengers on the other side of the boat. Yuzu didn't like the way that both of the other two kept stealing glances at her, the way they leaned towards each other to whisper. What were they saying...?

“If you have a problem, you can talk to me about it,” she said.

Both of them flinched, the young couple looking at her with some nerves.

“We don't have a problem,” the shorter of the two women said.

“Then why are you talking about me?” Yuzu said, trying not to sound as cross as she felt. Goddess...she didn't even know herself anymore lately. When had she become so snappish?

The women exchanged glances. The taller one spoke next, tentative.

“We're...confused,” she said. “Because...when I look at you, my lady...I feel...”

She seemed to have trouble coming up with the words.

“I feel as though I'm in the presence of something bigger than myself,” she said. “I'm sorry, that sounds...strange, and odd from a stranger.”

She shook her head.

“I feel like I should know you just by looking at you,” the shorter woman said. “But we've...never met before, have we?”

Yuzu glanced at them briefly.

“I think I would remember,” she said.

The taller nodded.

“And that's just it, my lady...when I saw you, I thought somehow that I had known you all my life. And....and I felt safe.”

Yuzu started, her head jerking up from the water to stare at the two of them. What...what were they talking about? But both of them were looking right at her, solemn, and completely truthful. She could only stare back at them, her mouth hanging open. What did that mean? What...?

She dropped her eyes to the bottom of the boat.

“I'm not that kind of person,” she said. “I'm sorry to disappoint you.”

The couple exchanged glances again, but they did not respond. The boat didn't make another sound, save for the water parting around the bow.

The couple got off at the next landing, at another town along the shore. It was just Yuzu and Sawatari and the silent boatman, then.

“They recognized you,” Sawatari said softly.

Yuzu looked at him.

“You mean, as the champion?”

Sawatari shook his head.

“I noticed it too, you know. With the other three, too. But it's a confusing feeling. It's almost right, but not quite. Like seeing a face you know through a rippling waterfall.”

“I don't understand anything you say.”

“I think humans are already predisposed to know you, now that you are what you are,” Sawatari said. “The real question to me is, why didn't people know Yuya, too?”

Yuzu's mouth opened. Her eyes flickered involuntarily to the image of Yuya that was still sitting in the boat beside her, leaning over the water and staring at the way the water flickered. He looked up, too, watching Sawatari, as though the hallucination could hear him too, and was curious about the answer.

Yuzu closed her mouth.

“I don't think even  _ you  _ know what you're saying,” she mumbled through tight lips.

Soon, the lake began to thin. She heard the rushing of water, now, and the boatman was able to switch from his oar to a long pole, which he used to push them forward against the ground. Through the mist, trees began to lean out like dark shadows piercing the veil. Their branches were long and thin, like strands of hair that leaned over the water and trailed against the surface.

She reached out to touch them, and found that their leaves were incredibly soft.

“They're called weeping willows,” the boatman said gruffly. “There's a lot more of 'em around the Lake of Tears.”

Yuzu started. The man hadn't spoken to them before, but now he seemed to be watching her. Her stomach twisted uncertainly. Was he the same way as those women and Sawatari?

“Are they called weeping willows because they're around the Lake of Tears, or is it called the Lake of Tears because of the willows?” she said.

The man blinked. And then a bucktoothed grin spread over his face, and he barked out a single laugh.

“You know, I'm not sure,” he said. “But you ask good questions, girlie.”

Yuzu flushed and looked down at the boat.

They slid on in silence for a long while, as the willows gave way briefly to tall, spindly birches, and then to willows and aspen and oaks again. Then the trees fell away, and the river widened, and she heard the faint sound of a horn blowing in the distance, saw the flash of a light spinning in the dark.

“What is that?” she said.

The boatman huffed.

“One of those newfangled electric lights,” he said. “Don't know what more to say about it. The Mei use 'em on the ocean shores to tell boats where the rocks are. They're more reliable than fires, which need to be relit.”

Yuzu, however, only really caught on the “Mei” bit. Sawatari caught her expression, and she wondered if she looked as upset as she felt.

“We're only in Meiying for a night,” he said softly. “The river bends into Meiying and then back into Shizenrei. But we need to stop for the night. I only had enough to get us this far.”

Was she shaking? She wasn't sure. She felt her hands trembling in her lap. All she could see was that man's face, leering at her through the doorway, spouting off absolute nonsense about the progression of humanity. Her throat was dry. She was going—right to them. She was going right to that place. Never mind that she was right on the edge of it, nowhere near their capital, but...but she was close...she was close enough to find the non-hologram version of that man....

She felt a cold spot growing on her shoulder, and looked up to see the image of Yuya grabbing her by the shoulder.

“Please,” he murmured, his voice begging. “Please...don't...”

She released the knot in her chest, released her fists. Her body felt so heavy and limp.

When the boat hit the ground, the boatman leaped up to pull it up against the shore.

“No docks here, not yet,” he said. “Been a pleasure having you two aboard.”

“Thank you, sir,” Sawatari said, nodding.

He offered his hand to Yuzu to help her out of the boat, but she tried to ignore it. She had to grab it, though, when she realized her legs wouldn't hold her. Her cheeks burned.

“Got to get used to your land legs again,” Sawatari said. “Though, not for long. We'll be heading out again in the morning.”

How long had they been on that boat? She wasn't even sure. It couldn't have just been a single long day, could it? It was impossible to tell with the mist and the dark clouds overhead. Maybe the whole world was in mourning, just like her. She wondered if she was doing it again, the way that she had done it in Eclipsine when Yuya died. But she didn't feel herself doing anything, so she thought it must just be coincidence.

“The Lake of Tears is much bigger than Maia Lake,” Sawatari said, as though he were simply talking to fill the air. “It will take us another day and a half about to get to Kitawen on the shore. From there, there's a ferry that goes to the other side. It's usually about a half week, perhaps a week, to get across.”

Yuzu didn't answer. She was too  _ tired _ .

“I think we're both out of money for inns or boats, so I'll see what I can do to get a bit,” he said, tugging on the strap of his lute meaningfully. “Kitawen is much better at paying people than this port, but we should at least get enough to get there. Don't suppose you're any good at singing?”

Yuzu startled a bit.

“I...I never took lessons or anything,” she said.

“Neither did I! It will do. Do you know any of the popular ballads?”

Yuzu tried to pay attention and give answers to Sawatari quizzing her on various songs, but it was hard. Her eyes were drawn in by the town. It was...very unlike any she had seen before.

There were light poles down the cobbled streets, but they didn't have fire inside. They simply seemed to glow on their own, without a flicker. And where was the place to refill the oil? The houses were built somewhat far apart, not all crunched together like in Zarkania, but not the plain, scattered thatched roofs of Rayglen, either. And they were fairly tall, too. Signs hung from many of them, denoting what they were, but all of them looked so clean and crisp, nothing was rotting and no paint was peeling. She noted some things she recognized, like a tavern, an inn, a....place that was probably a brothel.

“What's a clinic?” she said, blinking.

“Hm? It's like a hospital,” Sawatari said. “But smaller. Meiying has been very intent on medical advances in the past few years. You only hear about the weapons, of course, but their health system is quite remarkable.”

Yuzu stared at it briefly, hesitating. She watched a woman with a bundle in her arms darting inside, and through the windows, she could see a woman standing up behind the desk, talking to the woman with the bundled child. After only a few moments, the woman at the desk bowed and pointed to the door beside the desk. The mother bowed back and disappeared inside.

“People can just...walk in?” she said.

“Indeed. Even small towns have a clinic nowadays. Reiji seems interested in adopting the trend once Shizenrei gets its feet under it again.”

Yuzu hesitated for a little while longer, staring at the clinic. She wasn't entirely sure what she was feeling.

“It's not fair,” she said.

“Hm?” Sawatari said.

“It's just...not fair,” she said. “I want to hate this place. I want to....”

“You want to storm the council of Meiying and use the goddess sword on every one of them? You want to destroy all of them?”

Yuzu's hands curled into shaking fists at her sides. She kept seeing that man, his horrible, leering grin, the way he leaned on his cane so casually.

“Yes,” she hissed. “I almost want—I wish I had let Yuya finish destroying everything.”

She heard the hallucination suck in a breath, but it sounded distant, echoey.

“Yuzu,” he whispered. “Yuzu.”

“I see.”

It was Sawatari's lack of any response to it that made her air unfurl out of her chest, made her deflate.

“It's not fair,” she murmured. “It's not fair that this place isn't a terrible, horrible wasteland of horrible people who just make weapons.  But it just looks...ordinary.  Like everywhere else.”

Sawatari sighed.

“If only the world were so simple, hm? But in this world, there are destroyers, and there are creators—and neither of those are always as bad as they seem.”

He tilted his head at her when she looked across at him, lips parting.

“That's why the world always needs protectors,” he said, blinking at her. “Because both creators and destroyers—they sometimes go too far.”

Yuzu chewed on her lip.

“Do you hear these from somewhere, or do you make it up as you go?” she said.

Sawatari just laughed. He nodded off down the road and started to walk again, forcing her to hurry to catch up.

“I've been out in the world for a very long time,” he said. “I didn't have the luxury of keeping any of my sheltered thoughts about the world.”

Yuzu looked at her feet as she walked.

_ Fair enough. _

  
  



	65. SIXTY-FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Kaine [Salvation]](https://youtu.be/HRg_6Oy435A)

**** “What will you do when you meet her?”

Yuzu was just as startled by the question the second time as she had been the first time.  She looked up from where she had been staring over the railings of the huge boat.  It was honestly incredible, and even in her current state, she was impressed by the gigantic contraption.  Yuya was incredibly excited by it too, staring at the huge smokestack that pumped steam into the air with his neck craned all the way back, arms outstretched to either side of him for balance.

Sawatari leaned against the railing, staring off into the distance.  The boat was fairly quiet, but there were a lot of people on board.  It must be the cloudy weather that made everyone feel sleepy.  Yuzu had the hood of the new cloak bought in Kitawen drawn up over her face, so that people would stop staring at her like they were trying to figure out why she struck them so strongly.  It was only half helping, because every time she glanced up towards the seats where the majority of the passengers were sitting, there were people stealing glances.  She had…some kind of aura, now, it seemed.

“Did you hear me?” he said.

“Yeah, I heard you,” she said.  “I’m thinking.  Goddess.”

She ran a hand through her bangs.  This whole journey felt like something of a blur.  The sky had barely changed, and it had only gotten colder the farther north they had gone.  She could see her breath ghosting over the foggy air, though the mist was not as bad as it had been on Lake Maia.

“I still don’t know,” she said, mumbling.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“What do you think you’re going to say to her?  Are you angry with her?”

“Maybe…?”

She shook her head, staring out into the cold, dark lake.  Kitawen was barely the faintest shadow of a memory, and the first ferry that had stopped at a small island in the middle of the Lake of Tears was even less memorable.  Would she remember any of this journey when she was done?

“I…I just want to ask her,” she said, looking down at the faraway gray water.  “I want to ask her what she wanted out of all of this.  And how much she knew.  And…and what happened in the first place.”

She bit her lip. She could almost sense the image of Yuya staring at her—it had been becoming more and more vivid as of late.  She was really losing it.

Still, though, it wasn’t like she wanted to let him go, either…

“A quest for knowledge, then, to sate your sorrow,” Sawatari said, nodding.  “It’s a common enough tale.”

“Are you saying that’s…shallow or something?” she said.

“Not at all.  Only that you are not alone in your desire to understand.”

She frowned at him.  All this time traveling with him, and she still couldn’t really get him.  Not that she had been paying as much attention as she should have been.

“Whatever,” she murmured.  “I guess…it’s good enough for me, so it doesn’t matter.”

Sawatari was smiling when she looked across at him.

“Good enough is all it has to be,” he said.  “This is your journey, after all.”

He leaned forward then, and Yuzu automatically leaned back, but his eyes weren’t on her, but past her.

“Look there,” he said, pointing.  “We’ve just about arrived.”

Yuzu turned.  And she felt her heart thrum in her chest, her breath unfurling out of her.

“They’re  _ huge _ ,” she mumbled.

The mountains loomed up out of the mist, huge, looming shadows.  She could feel their eyes on her, like they were alive, their heights reaching up so far that she couldn’t fathom it, disappearing into the heavy fog.  She shivered.

“You’ve come this far, Yuzu,” Sawatari said.  “Are you thinking of turning back?”

Yuzu felt hesitation slip across her chest, tightening her heart.  She heard Yuya slip quietly beside her, heard his breath unfurl.

“What do you want to do, Yuya?” she whispered.

“If you want to go home, I don’t mind,” he said.  “It’s okay. We can go home together.”

She stared up at those impassive, black monoliths.  She could almost feel them breathing—they did not care about her.  They did not care about Yuya, or anything that had happened.  They had been there for thousands of years and they would be there for thousands more.  What was she compared to them?

_ Is that what the goddess will be like? _ she thought.   _ Ancient, impassive, and too old to care about the tiny humans that live for so short a breath? _

“Yuzu,” Yuya whispered.  “It’s…it’s okay.  You don’t have to go.”

She swallowed.

“I’ve come this far,” she said.  “I’m…I’m not leaving without answers.”

The mountains would not frighten her away, no matter how large and imposing they were.

The goddess wouldn’t scare her away either.

Sawatari laughed softly.

“I expect nothing less,” he said.  The boat groaned beneath them, and she heard someone from the boatman’s cabin shouting that they were anchoring.  “You’ll have to tell me about it when you get back.”

She swung her head around, lips parting.  What?  Wait.

“You’re not coming with me?” she said. “What about—seeing the story, and all that?”

His lips quirked in a smile.

“Some parts of the journey are only for the hero,” he said.  “Knowing that, are you still going to go?  No one will fault you for turning around.”

She shook her head.  She was…actually disappointed.  He wasn’t coming with her…she was starting to get used to having him around, with his strange, philosophical quips and constant singing.

But…but she couldn’t stop.  She couldn’t stop now.  She had to know.

She  _ had _ to know.

“I’ll miss you, somehow,” she said.

He laughed.

“I won’t be too far,” he said.  “I’ll probably stay in the village at the base for a few weeks.  Feel free to come down and see me again, if you’re not too busy chewing out a goddess.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Thank you, I try.”

She turned towards the mountains again, her hood sliding from her head at the sudden breeze that set her pigtails fluttering.  A warmth grew at her chest, and without looking, she reached up to grip the pendulum.  It was getting hot.

_ You’re up there, right?  I’m going to find you. _

*    * *

Her final goodbye to Sawatari felt like a year ago.  How long had she been climbing?

She pulled her cloak a little tighter around her face—it was heavy and thick, but it still wasn’t warm enough.  The cold whipped through her like an icy knife with each gust of wind, her legs slogging through snow up to her knees.  The first leg up through the pines had been easy, pleasant, even, but now she was trapped in a full on blizzard, it seemed, and she couldn’t see for the flakes in her eyelashes.

Oh goddess, it was so cold.  It was all she could do to keep moving—was she going the right way?  How could any place up in this mountain be called “Sanctuary?” It was the opposite of a sanctuary here—it was a nightmare.

She coughed in her hands—goddess, she couldn’t feel her fingers.  They weren’t red anymore, but she didn’t think that was a good thing.  Groaning, she reached to rip some fabric off of the long end of her tunic, fumbling to wrap it around her hands.  It was probably too little too late at this point—would she be able to keep these fingers by the time she got there?

“I probably won’t be able to hold a sword anymore,” she mumbled, her breath icing immediately against her face.  “That’s probably a good thing, right, Yuya?  I can’t—can’t kill anyone else.”

“Yuzu, you don’t have to do this,” Yuya said, but his voice sounded so far away, muffled by the wind in her ears.  “You really don’t have to do this!  Let’s go back, Yuzu, please, I don’t want you to hurt yourself like this—”

She coughed again, struggling to get another foot in front of her.  The snow was so thick and deep…she just kept going up.  And up and up and up.  Was the goddess at the top?  Maybe there was some kind of portal to another dimension, the place where the goddess lived.  Goddesses lived in heaven, right?  Why would she live on the ground like some regular human?  Maybe Sanctuary was fake.  Maybe it was a legend.  Maybe she had imagined meeting the goddess, or En, all those times.  After all, Masumi hadn’t been able to see her.  Maybe Yuzu was the one who was crazy—she was hallucinating Yuya right now, wasn’t she?

Her feet couldn’t crest the snow, and she tripped, falling face first into the powder.  It was so cold, but then again, so was the rest of her—there wasn’t much worse.

“Yuzu!” Yuya shouted.  “Yuzu, you have to get up!  You can’t sleep here!”

“Just…just for a minute,” she mumbled.  Her eyes were so heavy…what was being warm like?  “Just…just a minute, Yuya.”

“No!!  No, Yuzu, you can’t!  You have to get up!”

Her eyes fluttered half shut.

“Y-Yuzu, please, you have to hang on, if you let go—if you let go of me—”

He sounded so scared—it was enough to make her force her eyes open.  Let go of…Yuya?  No, no, no.  She couldn’t let go of him.  She had promised.

She tried to force herself to her hands and knees, the snow seeping into her pants and the fabric wrapped around her hands.

“Just a few steps farther, Yuzu, just one more, okay?  Please, for me, Yuzu, just one more step.”

Her lips were so chapped, it hurt to lick them.  She grabbed hold of the snow and dragged herself a few inches forward.  She wanted to cry, but her tears would freeze to her face.  She couldn’t do this.

“I don’t even know where I’m going,” she mumbled.  “Yuya, I don’t even know.  Where is it?  Where is she?”

She fumbled for the pendulum under her cloak, but it was icy cold to the touch.

“Am I going the wrong way?” she mumbled.  “Please…tell me…someone tell me…”

“Yuzu, there’s something ahead—please, just a few more feet.  Follow me, Yuzu, please.”

She could barely see her own hallucination standing two feet in front of her.  He was reaching for her, and she swiped once for his hands, but her own hand passed through.  He wasn’t here—he wasn’t real.

She swallowed.  Something…something ahead?  What was she seeing that her mind was telling her that through the image of Yuya?

She crawled forward through the snow until she couldn’t feel a single bit of her limbs anymore.  Wait…wait, Yuya was right.  There was something shadowy up ahead…

It was huge, she thought.  Huge…but not a Sanctuary.  Crumbling stone walls spilled their fragments against the snow, mostly covered up.  Snow filled every crack in its rotting foundation.  She thought it might have been beautiful, once.  It had an arched doorway, and low stairs leading up to it.  But the roof was collapsed, and the pillars sagging and leaning.  Snow and ice hung from the edge of the roof that still stood, and she could see, even inside, it would be cold.

But it would be out of the wind, at least, she thought.

She dragged herself up one step at a time, tasting ice in her throat, and collapsed just inside the doorway.  She couldn’t even look at the building, or wonder at who had built such a thing so far up in the mountains.

_ I’ll just close my eyes for a minute…that’s okay, right?  I’ll get back up and start walking again after that. _

She let her eyes flutter shut, the last thing she heard was Yuya shouting at her to please wake up.

  
  



	66. SIXTY-SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [City Ruins (Rays of Light)](https://youtu.be/c91tGrRzL8s)

****Oh demons.  Oh no oh no oh no.  No, she had to wake up!  If she didn’t wake up, she would—he could feel himself fading, and he clung to her, to the pendulum, as tightly as he could.  But he was already slipping, he could feel the darkness calling for him again, could smell the faint glimpse of that place he had seen before.  The ghosts of the dead couldn’t shove him back this time, not without her to hold on to him.  She couldn’t give up, she couldn’t…

“Sh….it’s alright.  It’s going to be okay.”

She appeared so softly and silently that he actually jumped back.  Her hand alighted on Yuzu’s back, eyes glittering with concern in the dim winter light.

“You did good,” she whispered. “You did really good…you got so much farther than I expected that I almost couldn’t find you...come on now.  Come on…”

She oofed slightly as she turned Yuzu over, shifting her up into her arms.  Yuzu’s head lolled back against her, and the woman shifted her so that her head was tucked into the crook of her arm.

“You should come too,” she whispered, and he almost choked.  Her eyes were right on him.

She could see him…?

“Come on,” she said.  “She’s not gone yet…and neither are you.  We can’t be losing you, now…”

He wasn’t slipping anymore.  The void wasn’t calling to him yet.  He felt the tug of Yuzu’s pull on the base of his soul, and he hurried to follow it.

* * *

Oh…she was warm.

Yuzu’s eyes fluttered, but she didn’t open them yet.  She felt cozy.  Something thick and plush lay beneath her, and a soft fleece was tucked in around her body.  She curled her fingers into the comforter lightly, and uncurled.  Oh…it was so, so soft.  And she was so warm and cozy…and it smelled nice in here, too, like woodsmoke and tea herbs mixed with light spices.

But—but how was she warm and cozy?  Hadn’t she…?  Was the mountain all a dream?

A voice.  She heard a voice.

It was low and murmuring, and far away, so she couldn’t hear the words, but she could tell what it was.  She opened her eyes.

Above her head, she saw a dark wooden ceiling.  Bags and tied vegetables and pots hung on the edges of her vision, along with a currently unlit oil lamp that swung lightly in a soft breeze coming from the window.  She turned her head towards the window, feeling the cool, spring breeze tickle her face.  It was small and without glass, but through it, she could see a tree rustling softly in the breeze, coated with small blue blossoms that rained petals across the sill.  Beyond the tree, she saw more green, and a lovely blue sky.

Where was she?

She licked her lips and found that they were no longer chapped or dry—she was thirsty, though.  She tried to sit up, and her stomach rumbled.  She blushed.  Hungry, too.

“Oh, good.  You’re awake…I was a little worried I hadn’t found you in time.”

She knew that voice, and all at once, she knew exactly where she was.

She turned away from the window.

The house was small, and rustic.  She wouldn’t have pegged it for a goddess’s house, at the very least—it looked like any other homesteading house.  Yuzu was on a small bed clearly just big enough for a single person, if that.  A thin counter ran across the room on the other side with a vase of wildflowers on top, beside a clay oven that was currently flickering a small flame at the bottom of a pot inside.  The smell of flowers tangled with the smell of vegetables and herbs, which were hanging in bundles from the ceiling or gathered into baskets that were arranged neatly on a rack beside the counter.  But other than that, and two small chairs, the place seemed empty of furniture.

And there was a woman standing in the doorway of the small, one room house, hesitating.  There was no question about it.  It was her—En, or the goddess.

It was the first time Yuzu had seen her without her cloak and cowl.  She was a tall woman, looking perhaps about twenty, maybe thirty years old.  She had quick eyes of a dark sort of lavender, and her hair was a deep maroon with lighter highlights, tied back in twin tails much like Yuzu’s own.

Most surprisingly, however, was the fact that Yuzu felt like she was looking into a near-mirror of herself.  The woman had the same round, flatish nose that Yuzu did, the same mid-set eyes, the same slightly too big forehead covered up by her bangs.  It was like looking at herself, or maybe even Rin, Ruri, or Selena, a few decades later.

Besides that, though…she looked…ordinary.  Like a woman Yuzu might meet in the market briefly and not think twice about later.  There was nothing besides their odd resemblance that made Yuzu hesitate or take a breath…like those people were doing to her on her journey here.

The goddess stepped into the room and walked across to the bed, lightly pressing her hand to Yuzu’s forehead.  She moved gracefully, but it wasn’t at all like the way that Yuzu remembered seeing Rin, Ruri, and Selena move in their new forms.  She was just an ordinary kind of graceful, not the kind that made one think that she was about to fly away.

“You’re not running a fever anymore, so that’s good,” she said.  “Are you hungry?  Soup’s almost done.”

“You…you eat soup?” Yuzu said.  For some reason, that was the first sentence to tumble out of her mouth with surprise, and her cheeks immediately flushed.  She was in the presence of the _goddess_ , the one who had _created the world_ —and she was surprised that the goddess ate soup?

“Well, I mean…not eating is a little uncomfortable,” the goddess said, smiling awkwardly.  “At least, it is now.  The way I am…and such.”

She withdrew her hand from Yuzu’s forehead and looked down at her palm.  Then she shook her head and walked over to the clay oven.  She slipped a cloth glove over her hand before grabbing the handle of the pot, sliding it out and placing it on top of the oven.  She lifted off the lid, and a burst of steam released, along with one of the most heavenly scents Yuzu had ever smelled in her life.

The goddess spooned out a few scoops into a bowl, then walked back to Yuzu.

“Careful, it’s hot,” she said.

“I could…do with a little hot,” Yuzu mumbled.

The goddess’s lips quirked.

“I’m sure, after almost dying on a cold mountainside…”

She hesitated with her own bowl before sitting awkwardly on the chair beside the bed.  Yuzu didn’t touch the bowl yet, just letting the smell waft over her.

“It smells…good.”

Goddess, what was she saying?  Hadn’t she…hadn’t she planned on storming here and demanding answers?  But no, here she was, stupid enough to almost die on a mountain and then needing to be nursed to health.

“It better,” the goddess said, not quite looking at her either.  “I’m the one that taught humans how to cook, you know.  Or at least—I helped.  They mostly figured it out on their own, but they didn’t use spices right.”

She smiled awkwardly again, as though she were trying to joke and didn’t know if it was working.

If Yuzu had expected anything, she wasn’t sure if it was this.  She gripped her bowl tightly.

“You’re…you are her, then,” she said.  “You were the whole time…”

The goddess looked down into her bowl.

“I…am _her_ , yes,” she said.  “The one you call the goddess.”

“Isn’t that what you are?”

The goddess only smiled ruefully.

“I am what I was born as,” she said.  “Whether that makes me a deity or not, I don’t know.  But humans make their own conclusions.”

She stirred her soup before bringing a spoonful to her mouth.

“Truth is, I do prefer to be called by my name,” she said.

“And…and what’s that?”  The goddess had a name?  Would it be too terrifying for her to hear, because it was in a language that no one knew anymore?  Too ancient and powerful to be said allowed.  “It’s not…actually ‘En,’ is it?”

The goddess snorted.

“That?  I pulled that out of my—out of thin air.  Using my real name started to make people suspicious after a while.” She took another sip of her soup before putting the spoon back into her bowl.  Her eyes lifted to Yuzu’s and…and despite being as ordinary, and not shining and divine like Yuzu had imagined, there was a strength there that Yuzu could not comprehend.  An ancient oldness that permeated her gaze and made Yuzu stop for a breath.

“I’m Ray,” she said.  “It’s nice to meet you officially.”

Yuzu opened her mouth, but she wasn’t sure what she was going to say.  She recognized the name.  Yuya had called her that several times during his episodes.

It didn’t matter because Ray suddenly sat up straight, as though she had heard something that Yuzu hadn’t.

“Just a minute,” she said, and she quickly shoved her bowl aside onto a rickety looking table.  “You should eat.”

Ray hopped from her chair and hurried to the door.  Yuzu blinked, lips parting.  But she didn’t have the strength in her legs to get up, so she supposed she’d just have to be curious.  She stirred the soup before trying a small taste.  Oh!  It was delicious!

She gobbled down the rest so quickly that she barely tasted it—she was so _hungry_.  When she came up for air, gasping with the bowl falling to her lap—Yuya was back.

He sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over her worriedly.

“Are you okay?” he said.

It was…just a hallucination…right?  But Yuzu smiled reassuringly anyway.

“I’m fine,” she said.  “Feeling much better.  See?”

She flexed one arm experimentally.  Yuya smiled tentatively.

“I thought you were going to die, too,” he mumbled.  “If you had…we couldn’t come back.”

Yuzu’s lips parted.  She wasn’t sure what her brain was doing, but…but it was…nice to see Yuya again.

“I’m fine,” she reassured him.  “I’m totally and completely fine.”

Her eyes wandered to the door.  It was ridiculous to be talking to a hallucination, but she had also commented on the fact that the goddess who created the world ate soup.  She was a little beyond ridiculous up here.

“What do you think of her?” she said.

Yuya looked towards the door.

“I like her,” he said.  “She was really worried when she found you.  And she’s been taking good care of you, too.”

Yuzu grimaced.  Well, she was doing a good job of hallucinating that Yuya would be commenting on that much, even though she herself hadn’t actually witnessed any of it.

“And she can see me,” Yuya said, and Yuzu’s head snapped to him.  “It’s been nice to be seen again…”

Yuzu’s lips parted.  Wait a second.  She wasn’t really hallucinating that Yuya was a ghost or something, was she?  What the heck…

She didn’t have a chance to interrogate the hallucination any further, because Yuya sat straight up.

“He’s here too,” he whispered.

He?  Wait, what was her brain doing _now_ …?

Ray appeared at the door again, leaning through from the side.

“I’m…he needs to come back in,” Ray said, sounding…nervous.  “So…I hope you don’t mind.”

“He…?” Yuzu said.

Ray just licked her lips, and disappeared.

When she appeared again, she was murmuring softly, leading another person by the hands as though they were blind.

“Slowly there now, love, mind the step…that’s it.  I’ve got soup on…”

Yuzu sucked in a breath.

It was the same as with Ray—he didn’t look particularly distinctive.  There was no pressure or presence to him, just like anyone else on the street.  He wasn’t quite as tall as Ray, maybe an inch and a half shorter, but his mussed gray hair with the thin green strands in the bangs stuck up enough to give him a few stray inches.

He had a face like Yuya.  A Yuya who was a few decades older, perhaps, but…but it was Yuya.  Yuya with…with golden eyes…

Yuzu felt like she was about to choke, or maybe throw up her soup.  She tensed up so badly that she started to tremble.   _He_ was here.  “He” was—was the demon.  The demon was here too.  But—but Yuya and the boys had been his reincarnation, the goddess had _killed_ him with the goddess sword like Yuzu had killed Yuya, so h-how—

She felt Yuya’s cold, insubstantial hand drop briefly onto her hand, and she gasped.  She took a second look.

The demon’s eyes were dull, and he wasn’t looking at Ray—or really, looking at anything.  His face was slack and expressionless.  It was as though he were sleepwalking, she thought.  He shuffled forward only because Ray was tugging on him, guiding him gently with her hands in his, moving one hand to his shoulder to carefully lead him to the second chair and help him sit down.  Once Ray had him sitting, he just sat there.  His hands lay limp in his lap, and he stared at nothing with lips parted.  It was as though he wasn’t there at all.

Ray picked up her bowl of soup and scootched her chair closer to his.  She took a spoonful of soup and tapped it lightly to his lips.  He didn’t quite open them, but she was able to slip the spoon between his teeth.

“You’ve got to eat, Zarc,” Ray murmured. “You can do it…it’s soup, it’s easy to swallow.”

The demon—Zarc, she had called him?—just sat there, unmoving and unreacting.  Finally, his lips weakly moved around the spoon, and she slipped it back out.  His throat bobbed with a thin swallow.

“What happened to him?” Yuzu found herself asking, feeling an unnatural ache growing in her chest—like the ache she had felt back when she had accepted her strange power and the goddess sword with it.

Ray smiled sadly.

“I did,” she whispered.


	67. SIXTY-SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Usuyukisou](https://youtu.be/TOyPXNgBrU4)

****Sanctuary lived up to its name.  When Yuzu was finally strong enough to stand, she decided to walk around and look.

All around, she could see the mountains looming over this tiny valley, a pocket of green in the gray.  Surrounding them there was a thick, white swirling cloud of mist and snow, but it never came this way.  She found her way to the very edge of Sanctuary, and she could see the exact line between the snow peeking between the gap in the rocks and the spring that seemed to characterize this place.

She didn’t even think about stepping out into the cold again.  There was nothing for her to go back to yet.

“Your dad is probably really worried,” Yuya said.

Her chest tightened with sadness, thinking about it.

But she had had to come.  She had to know.

Not that she had asked anything yet…

She wandered all around Sanctuary, taking it in. It wasn’t very big, she could cross the entire space in just two hours.  But within Sanctuary, it was truly beautiful.

Ray and Zarc’s house was the only building in the entire valley, save for a tiny shed where Ray kept her gardening tools.  A forest of thin, spindly trees took up most of the south end, sprinkled with flowers and always neatly dappled with sunlight through the leaves. Yuzu caught glimpses of rabbits and squirrels and birds, and she thought she had even seen a deer once.  How they had found their way here, she had no idea.  There was a small spring of water there, too, big enough for her to have stretched out across it and touched both sides, but it was incredibly deep and clear, and she steered away, for fear of falling in.  A river passed through the woods and into the meadow part of the valley, too, filtering into Ray’s thin irrigation tracks.

The meadow part of the valley was full of flowers, where Ray had not carefully cultivated it into gardens and farms.  It was actually incredible how much Ray had done—then again, Yuzu reasoned she had had a good five or six hundred years, at least, to work at it.  There was a small copse of apple and peach trees, a massive patch of raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries, a small rice paddy, and rows upon rows of vegetables, from pumpkins and squash to peas and beans.

Ray was out in the gardens most of the time.  Yuzu would see her from the windows, her back hunched over the earth as she weeded and hoed by hand.  She’d come back with baskets of produce, and though she was sweaty and clearly exhausted, she’d get right to work stoking the fire and starting on dinner.

Zarc, for his part, kind of just…sat there.  He slumped a little, like a doll whose strings had been cut, staring at nothing, not responding even if a bird landed in his lap.  It was as though his mind had simply left him.  Like he was an empty shell, only able to move when Ray led him, or eat when she prompted him.  There was nothing in his eyes, and only the beating of his heart indicated that he was alive at all.

In the mornings, Ray would help Zarc eat, and then carefully lead him outside to sit on a chair outside the house before going to work in the gardens—always within sight of Zarc, Yuzu noticed.

“He likes to be outside,” Ray had mumbled, although Yuzu hadn’t even asked. “At least…I think he does.  He seems a little calmer out here.”

He didn’t seem to change much at all to Yuzu, but she decided to accept Ray’s word on it.  They had clearly been together for a very long time, she knew him better.

Yuzu eventually ran out of things to look at in Sanctuary, and she returned to where Ray was working.

“Do you usually do this by hand?” Yuzu asked.

“Well, not much other way to do it,” Ray said.

It seemed too _normal_.  She didn’t understand.  She opened her mouth to ask.  She closed it again.

“Do you want any help?”

It was hot, back-breaking work, but something about it was calming.  She worked at yanking weeds out of the garden, the pendulum swinging and smacking her on the chest with each movement in a strangely reassuring sort of way.  She was sweaty and exhausted when she was done but…she felt lighter.  She looked up at the sky, slowly turning orange and red now that the sun was getting ready to set.

The pendulum hadn’t stopped swinging.

She blinked as she looked down at it.  Hang on…sure, she had been moving a lot, but it was swinging as though she had just flicked it hard.  She pinched it by the chain, holding it up—it kept swinging.  More particularly, it started swinging in a particular direction.

She looked up, towards the place the pendulum was pointing.

 _It’s the key to finding Sanctuary_ , she remembered Reiji calling it.  But it had not led her here.  Dumb luck had gotten her here.

Where did the pendulum go, then?

She scrabbled to stand up in the dirt, holding the pendulum ahead of her.  She had to pick her way through the vegetables carefully, but she made her way through the garden and into the meadow.  She hadn’t come this far across the meadows before, they looked pretty much the same up to the base of the mountains.  But the pendulum was pointing this way…

“Where do you think it goes?” Yuya asked.

He was getting more and more present lately, and yet, Yuzu wasn’t sure if she should be ignoring him or not.  He was…wasn’t he just her hallucination…?  Yuya was gone…

“I don’t know,” she said anyway, responding to him.  “Maybe…something important…?”

Her words caught in her throat when they rounded a hill and she saw the overhang.  Or rather, what was beneath it.

For a moment, she thought it was just a cave, dark and yawning beneath the overhang.  But no, it was something else: dark and swirling, with faint flickers of light like distant lightning within.  It was like…a hurricane cloud, but vertical like a curtain, and not spreading forward from the space.  She caught her breath as she stepped closer—here was the presence that she had been missing. A pressure tightened around her chest and pressed down on her shoulders, making her breaths shorter and her heartbeat quicken.  This was the pressure she had expected when she thought she was going to meet a god.  She felt like she was in the presence of a giant, ancient creature, as though the veil were a huge black eye staring at her.

The pendulum stopped swinging, and she approached the swirling darkness until she was right in front of it.  She squinted.  She…she could see something moving inside…just beyond the darkness, she could see something darting past, like…like a person?

“Stop!”

She flinched back, not having realizing that she had been reaching for the smoky cloud until the shout.  She turned to see Yuya staring at her with wide eyes.

“You can’t go in there,” he said.  “If you go—you won’t come back.  And…and I won’t either.”

Her lips parted, heart quivering.

“How…how do you know that?” she said.  “Who _are_ you?  You can’t be Yuya…can you…?”

Yuya hesitated, looking uncertain.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled.  “I don’t know…I just know—you grabbed hold of me, and I grabbed hold back, and the dead pushed me back from the brink, and I knew there was still something I had to do.  I don’t know what, but—you can’t go in there.”

“Where is…there?”

“That is something even I don’t know.”

Both Yuya and Yuzu gasped, looking up.  Ray was sitting on the hill looking down at them.  She didn’t look angry, or even sad.  She stood up, brushing off her knees.

“What is it?” Yuzu said.

“I don’t know.”

“But you’re the _goddess_ ,” Yuzu said, throwing up her hands.  “You _made_ this world!  How could you not know?”

Ray shrugged.

It was that little motion that brought all of Yuzu’s swirling angry thoughts to fruition.  She felt it bubble and boil in her chest like she was going to choke on it.

“You don’t know _anything_ , do you?” she said, throwing her hands into the air.  “What good of a goddess are you?  You don’t know anything at all—you can’t do anything! You just hide out in this weird little pocket of spring in the middle of the mountains like the rest of the world doesn’t matter!”

“Yuzu,” Yuya started, but Yuzu wasn’t going to stop now.

“You make your gardens by hand—what happened to the power that made the world?  Maybe you don’t want to use it because then you’d have to take responsibility for it again!  But you can’t—you can’t do anything!  You can’t even save one boy who didn’t deserve anything that happened to him—what happened to him because of _YOU!_ ”

She had to stop—she was running out of air.  Her chest heaved and fell with all of her thick, choking breaths.

Ray hadn’t even moved, much less flinched.  She just continued to meet Yuzu’s gaze—none of the awkwardness from their first encounter remained.

Then she sighed, and it was a sound so old and tired that Yuzu felt her heart crack.

“Come back to the house,” she said.

“Why should I?” Yuzu snapped, tears bursting into the corners of her eyes.  “It was a waste of my time to come here!”

“Let me tell you what happened.”

“I don’t _care_ anymore!  You didn’t do anything!  You could have done something for him that day, or told us what was going to happen—”

“I didn’t _know_!”

Ray’s voice cracked, and Yuzu stopped with the surprise of it.  Ray looked down, covering her mouth with one hand.  She dropped her hand from her mouth after a deep breath.

“You’re right, Yuzu, I don’t know anything,” she said, her voice thick and heavy with tears.  “I used to.  I used to know things—not as much as you probably think I did.  I knew how to calculate the exact mass of gravity to pull particles into stars.  I knew every inch of the vast expanse of space.  I knew the chemical reactions to make oxygen.”

Yuzu hesitated.  This…this sounded familiar…

_“I know so much that it hurts sometimes,” Selena mumbled._

“I could feel the beating of every heart in the world.  I could taste it like smoke coming off their souls.  I knew when people called my name, and I knew how to be wherever I needed to be at any moment.  I could make _galaxies_ , Yuzu.”

She sounded so haunted, so longing, as she stared up towards the sky.

“I danced between stars, and I jumped planet to planet to see what new worlds had been born from my chemical meddling.  I knew how to drag stars into place to warm the atmospheres, and how to encourage plants to grow.  I knew so much—I knew it all, and it’s gone.  I can’t even comprehend it now.”

Yuzu’s lips parted.

“I knew so much, Yuzu…but I never knew one thing—I never knew the future,” she said.  “So what makes you think that I could have predicted what would have happened that day?”

“You came to warn us,” Yuzu whispered.

“All I knew was that a Meiying ship was on its way, and the eclipse was sooner than you thought it would be.  I didn't know you would linger.  I didn't count on you staying behind.”

“You could have done something before then.  You could have—saved Yuya before he had to go this far!”

Ray’s eyes actually bubbled up with tears then and she closed her eyes shut with a snap.

“Fuck, Yuzu, you don’t think I tried??  I didn’t know the humans were collecting the fragments until I sensed them becoming one, and when I came to Eclipsine—”

She choked, covering her mouth with one hand.

“I was too late, Yuzu, I was too late.  I found those three tiny bodies thrown onto a trash pile to be burned, and I was _too late_.”

Yuzu heard Yuya choke, and she, too, nearly stopped breathing to imagine it.

“I tried.  I kept trying.  I tried to get into the temple.  I tried to get close during every single solstice, but I was still just a little too divine; everything the humans built was built with the intent to keep me out, and I physically couldn’t get close.  Why do you think I chose you?”

She swallowed.

“I don’t have _anything_ anymore, Yuzu,” she said.  “Not since you took the last pieces of my scattered power, and I felt the rest of it drain out of me.  I can’t appear wherever the hell I want to anymore—I couldn’t come find you and see what had happened.  I was stuck here.  I couldn’t hear people calling my name anymore, either.”

She closed her eyes, clearly struggling to breathe.

“All I have left is this…goddamn body that still refuses to die.”

She gnawed hard on her lip.

“All I have left is that, and him.”

Yuzu’s throat was choked now, and she was regretting everything she had said.

“I don’t understand,” she mumbled. “I don’t understand anything at all.”

Ray let out a soft huff that might have been almost a laugh, but it sounded hollow.

“Speaking as a goddess, I don’t either,” she said.  “What a world I made, huh?”

They stood in an awkward, uncertain silence.  Then Ray beckoned.

“Let’s go back to the house,” she said.  “I’ll tell you everything…from the beginning.  You deserve that much.”

Yuzu only nodded.  She was too tired to do much else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> augh sorry for the late posting, i forgot what day it was ><


	68. SIXTY-EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Song of the Ancients](https://youtu.be/rzifQScHp9w)

_The Beginning of Time_

****The first thing she knew was that she was alive.

The second thing was that she wasn't entirely sure what “alive” meant.

She stared at her hands.  Ah...hands.  She knew what hands were—although she wasn't really sure how.  Hers were toned and tanned, although in this endless nothing that surrounded her, they looked pale.  She put them against her face, feeling out the curves and edges of her cheeks, rubbing her thumbs over the tops of her eyelids and flicking across her eyelashes.  She ran her fingers through her hair, long and thick where it fell around her shoulders.  It was a deep, reddish-maroon with highlights of dark pink when she pulled it forward to look at against the palms of her hands.

She ran her hands down her neck, next, and then down her body.  She was sturdy, she found, with wide hips and shoulders and long legs, clad in a thin white dress that felt like almost air against her fingers.

Air...another thing she knew about without knowing why.  Thoughts sparked in her head, plans and ideas and images of things fitting together in such a way...ah...but she was missing half of the puzzle, wasn't she...?

“Hello...?”

It was the first sound she had ever heard in her existence, and it made her breath catch in her throat.

From where she still sat kneeling, she looked over her shoulder through the endless nothing.

He stood looking at her with the same awe and uncertainty that she thought she must be feeling as well.  He was probably about her height, maybe a little bit shorter, but it was hard to tell from down here.  He was broad-shouldered, with his hair a light, shaggy gray highlighted with green, spiky in the back.  His skin was around the same color as hers, a pleasant mid-shade of tan, clad in a similar long white tunic.

And his eyes...his beautiful eyes were shining and golden and full of the same awe and wonder that she felt when she looked at him, the only other thing in existence.

He smiled at her then, his teeth flashing white.

“Hello,” he said again.  “I think we're supposed to know each other.”

He stepped forward, closing the space between them, and extended a hand to her on the ground.

“My name is Zarc,” he said.  “I'm Destruction.”

 _Zarc_ , she thought, the name making her quiver.   _Oh.  We were made to meet each other, weren't we?_

Exactly who made them, she wasn't sure, but she knew it in her bones.  They were made for each other.  She smiled at him.  Then she reached up, and put her hand in his offered palm.  Both of them shuddered at the absolute, beautiful rightness of it all.

“I'm Ray,” she said, the name coming to her all at once.  “I'm Creation.”

* *    *

She wove the first particles together, using a knowledge she wasn't sure she should question to pull them into being, pushing them down under as much pressure as she could possibly manage, into a space too small for them to see—if they hadn't been entirely capable of manipulating their size in this strange darkness, that is.

“Ready?” she whispered to him.

“Yeah,” he whispered back.

They had only their instincts—and each other.  They were here in a world that did not exist.

It was their job, they knew somehow, to make it exist.

He lifted his hands over hers, cupping them, their skin sparking at the contact.

When his Destruction touched her Creation, everything exploded.

The world rushed past them in a rippling expanse of heat and chemicals and burning, exhilarating expansion.  It happened so fast but so slow, and it took an eternity in only a second.

When the heat and rush vanished, they were floating in an even vaster, smokier darkness...but the clouds were getting ready to smush together.

They only hung there for a moment, clinging to each other's hands and gasping for breath.

And then, in the rush of exhilaration, Ray let out a loud whoop.  Zarc's entire face lit up.  He threw his arms around her and she laughed when he lifted her up and spun her around.  It was so right—so so so so right.

“We just did that,” he said, sounding giddy.

“I know!” Ray said, feeling so light that she thought she would float out of the universe they had just made.  “What do you think we should do next??”

The stars came first.

Ray encouraged the smoky darkness to pull together, increasing the gravity until they began to swirl with thick, molten energy as particles grew closer and closer together.  And when they reached their maximum lifespan, Zarc helped them explode.

It was the most beautiful thing Ray had ever seen, or thought she would see—the way that the stars went out in a burning fireball of light and fire, raining down over the universe and seeding it with more, new exciting particles for her to tinker with.

Well, maybe not the _most_ beautiful thing, she found herself thinking as she glanced sidelong at Zarc, his face illuminated in the light of the warping, exploding star.  His eyes were as filled with light as the supernova, and a huge smile grew over his face to watch the world growing under their fingers.

“What you working on?”

Ray swirled the particles together in her hands, excited.  Gravity was her favorite thing to use, and she was causing it to pull this particle and that one together as tightly as possible.  She'd have Zarc help her pull it apart later, to make something truly amazing.

“I'm not sure,” she said.  “It feels right, though.”

Zarc laughed, hugging her briefly around the waist.

“It does to me, too,” he said.  “I can't wait to see it with you!”

They were each all the other had—they were all they needed.  He asked her excitedly about what she was making, she asked him excitedly about what he was pulling apart, and what he was finding inside of it.

The universe was growing, and so was their love.

Every touch was as electric as the first—two perfectly opposing forces in perfect harmony, sending tingles down each other's skin as they worked.  He grabbed her hand often, when they were taking their rare breaks in between working with their world.  She liked to put her arms around his waist from behind while he helped tease apart the stars to get to their rich elements within.

Their first planet was a marvel.

Zarc descended to it first, searching with awe through its thick, cloudy atmosphere, winds at thousands of miles per hour.

“It's amazing, Ray!” he said, his voice almost stolen by the wind.  “What if there was somewhere to stand, though?”

“I'm working on it,” she said, laughing.  She grabbed his hand, and for a few moments, they just let themselves twirl in the wind.  “Get me some more elements for my new project.  I think there's a star in the far dark that's ready to pop.”

“On it, my lady,” he said, laughing and hugging her close.

Billions of years were bare seconds in those happy, heady days of creation and destruction, the world coming to a beautiful, breathing life under their hands.  It was almost starting to build itself, it was moving so quickly now.  All they had to do were put things in motion, now, and the world spiraled off on its own under their watchful, excited eyes.

“Ray!”

He was so excited that he spun her around through the air as soon as he found her, both of them laughing with the exhilaration of it all.  His eyes were so bright, so beautiful, like all of the stars in the universe combined.

“Ray, you have to see this!  Come on, come on!”

“Okay, okay, I'm coming!” she laughed, letting him drag her through the universe.

The planet that he brought her to didn't look too much more special than the others, but she came along and touched down onto its rocky surface all the same.  The air was thick with smoke, pumped out by the volcanoes that were riddling this world, pumping out lava that covered the earth in layers.

Zarc dragged her along to the edge of the huge body of water, pulling her down to kneel beside it.  He dipped his hand into the water, and pulled it out with a thin sheet of water in his palm.

“What am I looking at?” Ray asked.

“Right here,” he said, pulling it to her eyes, his other hand still gripped in hers.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, and leaned forward, squinting.

“Oh,” she breathed, her entire body sparking with absolute wonder, like the first time they had built and pulled apart a star.

There were tiny, tiny things wriggling in the water, so small that without her special vision, she would not have been able to see them.

“They're _alive_ ,” Zarc said with awe.  “Ray—they're alive!”

 _Alive_.  Just like them.

Ray's entire body thrummed with that word, sending her into a heady spiral of giddiness.  She knew what it meant, in her bones, like all the other knowledge she had come into existence with.  But being faced with it—right in front of her eyes—and that it had come to pass almost entirely on its own, with little more than the conditions that she had put in place almost arbitrarily—

She threw her arms around Zarc's neck, causing him to lose the handful of water back into the sea.  And before she could think about what it was that she was doing, she cupped his face with one hand, and pressed her lips against his.

He immediately melted into the kiss—because that was what it was, although she wasn't sure how she had learned that it was something they could do—wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer, his taste hot and heavy on her tongue as his slid between her teeth.

When they broke apart, they could each barely breathe, foreheads touching as they giggled.

“Do you want to see where this goes?” he said.

“With you, I want to see everything,” she laughed.

* *    *

The universe was already in motion.  It didn't really need them to keep it going now—just a tweak here and there.  A random mutation here or there (it was either her or Zarc that did it, they didn't really understand what the rules were for creating mutations, but they trusted their instincts), just to keep things fresh.  Outside of their little rock with life on it, the rest of the universe moved on in its slow, easy fashion.  It didn't need them anymore.

But this rock, this earth...this one needed them.  And they wanted to be here.

Billions more years passed, and the world began to teem with _life_.

Ray could not go a single day without marveling at the greenery, at the softness of leaves under her fingers.  She giggled when Zarc put flowers into his hair, and then tucked some into hers, or when he tickled her with ferns.

Zarc was even more fascinated with the world than she was.  She would see him, chasing after the animals that had begun to crawl out of the sea, laughing with his head thrown to the wind in a heady excitement while he ran with tall, clawed reptiles with sharp fangs.

Everything seemed to understand what they were, almost instinctively.  Small fuzzy mammals would end up where Ray slept, curled among her hair.  Birds would land on Zarc's shoulders, folding their wings to relax with a sigh.  Even predators, beady eyed reptiles with huge heads and tiny arms, would look down towards them with understanding, linger among them for a while, and then move on.

They became very familiar with death.  It was Zarc's domain, but Ray would watch him work.  Watched him encourage the cycle of life that they had built, encourage the decaying bodies to add their nutrients to the soil, to keep the green things growing.

“Isn't this place beautiful?” he said, laying with his head tucked against hers, both of them laying in opposite directions while they stared at the beautiful starry sky above.

Ray pressed her head into the crook of his neck to feel his warmth.

“Yes,” she said, her voice cracking.  “It's so beautiful.”

“Look at this,” Zarc said, digging in his pocket and pulling free a small, jagged stone.  Ray took it from his hand, held it up to the moon to see it sparkle with hints of magenta.  “We made something like this, together.”

“It's beautiful,” Ray said, marveling at it.

“You put the materials into the ground...I created the molten pressure that carved it all together.  We made this together—it's like...it's like a symbol of what we've done together.”

She giggled, letting her hand curled around the stone fall back to her chest.

“Isn't this entire world a symbol of what we made together?”

He laughed.  But he kept talking.

“We made this...” he said.  He sounded so breathy, so awed.  “I can't believe we made all of this.  Was...was this what we were supposed to do?”

“I don't know,” Ray said.  “But it feels right.  Doesn't it?”

He laughed.

“It feels the most right thing ever,” he said.  “Right after the rightness of this.”

He flipped over so that he was looking down at her, upside down and blotting out the stars.  She closed her eyes and met his lips when he found her, their breath tangling up between them.

“I love you, Ray,” he moaned as he broke apart.

“I love you, Zarc,” she breathed back, her eyes sparking with tears.

They were the ones who were meant for each other.  They had been made together, and they had created the world together.

They would be together, always.  Forever.

* *    *

For the next few thousand years, they were increasingly wrapped up in each other rather than their world.  There were things about the forms they had been given at the beginning of their existence that fascinated them...things that needed to be.... _explored._

So it wasn't a surprise that the first human appeared to them as almost a surprise.

“Oh,” Ray said, her lips parting, eyes widening at the shape that stared at them.

“Oh,” Zarc said, his voice quivering with excitement.  “Ray.  They look like...”

“Us,” she said.

The human—or, not quite a human yet, not fully evolved yet—stared at them without fear, and without wariness.  But there was a knowing, there, in the way their eyes sparked.  They too, knew Ray and Zarc, just like everything else did.

Ray slid a hand into Zarc’s, and Zarc smiled.

The almost-human turned then, and disappeared.

It was a new chapter, Ray thought, humming with excitement.  There were creatures like _them_ here now.

What would they do?


	69. SIXTY-NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Treasured Times](https://youtu.be/Ne1HcEU7sho)

She pounced on his stomach, making him jolt with surprise.

“Zarc!!  Zarc, you have to see!”

“What—what is it?” he said, blinking up at her.

“The humans!” she said, breathless.  “They’re  _ making things _ .”

His eyes lit up with awe, and once she got off him, he scrambled to his feet.  She grabbed his hand, dragging him as quickly as she could to what she had seen.

They had been watching humans on and off for a few centuries at least, but something held them back—or at least, held Ray back.  She was nervous, for some reason.  Creatures, just like them, but not quite—what were they like?  What would they think of her and Zarc?  Where had they come from, and how had they developed to be just like her and Zarc in form?  Was it a coincidence?

She pulled him to the edge of the trees, and they both crouched down to peek through the leaves.  There were humans all around the cleared area, trees chopped and carefully tucked aside.  A huge boulder rested on some round logs, and a couple of humans were pushing the stone across the logs, while another would grab each log from behind and hurry around to put it in front again so they could roll the stone, towards the growing pile of big stone blocks that made a sort of pyramid shape.  There were yet more humans carving out steps on the path, to lead up the giant pyramid.

“Look!” she said, pointing.  “Look!  They’re using the logs to roll the stones—it’s ingenious!”

There was a faint boom, and smoke rose up from the distance.  Zarc’s eyes lit up, and he stood straight up.  She knew he was staring off into the distance with his long sight, and his entire face lit up.

“They’re mining,” he said.  “They learned how to make…fire sticks?  They’re calling it dynamite.”  He nodded, tilting his head as he listened.  “That’s amazing!  They can blow out areas of the mountain to get to the ore!”

Ray was almost beside herself.  They had learned this all by themselves?  Or did they have the same kind of knowing that she and Zarc did?  Her hands itched to get out there and help them, her muscles straining with them to put the blocks in place.  She didn’t know what they were building, but it didn’t matter.  It was beautiful.

Zarc stepped out of the trees first—they would see him!  Her heart leaped.  What would they do?  What would they say?  But she hopped forward to stand next to Zarc.  She wanted to get closer…she wanted to see what they were doing and how they had learned it.

All of the humans stopped.  Or well, almost all of them, it happened in a sort of wave.  People were closer caught sight of them first, and froze, with eyes wide and mouths open.  And it sort of…wafted back to the others, until almost the entire construction site was still and quiet.

Ray twitched, a little nervous under all the stares.  She had been alone with only Zarc for so long…she didn’t know how to feel about these new ones, who looked at them with faces like theirs.

And then the first woman stepped back from the stone she was helping to push, and dropped to her knees.  There were tears rolling down her face as she looked at them.

“Ah,” she breathed.  “You are them, aren’t you?  You are god, aren’t you?”

_ God _ .  Ray twisted the word around in her head.  Was that what she was?  She and Zarc looked like the humans but…but perhaps they were something else.

Slowly, one by one, the humans all knelt, in varying states of awe and shock.

“Do you…know who we are?” Zarc asked.

The man closed to them nodded solemnly.

“It’s as though it’s written on my bones,” he murmured.  “You had a hand in who we are, didn’t you?  We’re a part of you.”

Oh, Ray breathed.

They were…humans were fascinating.

* * *

Ray got so caught up in listening to the humans explaining what they were doing—and making suggestions with her own knowledge to make it better—that she didn’t notice the other group of humans coming closer right away.

Zarc didn’t notice them either.  He was simply too excited as he rocketed towards Ray and threw his arms around her, almost bowling them both over.

“You should see it, Ray!  They have a whole mining system underground!  You’d love the pulley system they made!”

She laughed with the excitement of it all, Zarc’s cheer as infectious as always.  He pressed something into her palm with a goofy grin.

“I found this for you in the mines,” he said.  “Look!  They’ve found gemstones.”

Ray breathed with awe at the beautiful, dark blue chunk of stone.

“It looks like the night sky!” she said.

“It’s for you,” Zarc said, briefly brushing his lips against her neck and making her shiver with delight.

The humans, for their part, simply watched Ray and Zarc, their expressions always looking a bit awed.  Someone was scribbling something down in the background.  She wasn’t sure what.  Maybe more of that math they were using to build the pyramid.  She liked math.

She thought Zarc must have felt the first human die first, because he jolted against her and his eyes widened.  She, too, felt the immediate flicker as a fire of life went out—but how?  How so suddenly?

Someone screamed.  She didn’t know who, but then she sensed the others.  There were humans in the trees, and one near the edge, with something sticking out of their throat—she would learn later that it was called an arrow.

“Get back,” the old man who had been among the first to greet them shouted.  “Warriors, we’re under attack!”

“Attack?” The word meant nothing to Ray, not right away.  She knew all about how the world had formed, she had language that could match the humans’, but…were there some things that even she and Zarc could not understand?

She found herself clinging to Zarc’s arm, eyes wide.  Humans darted out of the trees, with their bows and arrows, firing at the workers.  The workers drew up their axes from hewing trees and turned them on the archers.  She felt more humans die.

“Zarc, what are they doing?” she said.  “Is this like the raptors fighting for territory?”

But Zarc was pale, and shaking, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

“This is—this is wrong,” he mumbled.  “They’re just—they’re just killing, for no reason…Ray, they’re killing for no reason.”

He extracted himself from her and stepped forward.

She screamed when she saw the stray arrow thunk into his chest, saw his eyes widen with surprise.

“Oh,” he breathed.  “It…it  _ hurts _ .”

But he stepped forward again, anyway, and she reached for him, helpless as he kept walking forward.  Her head was spinning, and she tasted bile.  Why were the humans doing this??  Zarc was right, it felt WRONG.  This wasn’t like when animals fought each other, for food or territory.  This was just—

“That’s enough,” she mumbled.  “That’s enough!”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Zarc roared, and his voice rattled the very atoms of the world around them, and everyone fell still.

Zarc stood in the center of everyone’s vision, heaving for breath, the arrow still in his chest.  He grit his teeth, grabbed the shaft, and yanked it free with a gasp.

It was the first time she had ever seen him bleed.  She stared with a morbid horror, unable to take her eyes away.

One of the archers moaned.  They dropped their bow and fell to their knees, hands over their head.

“God has chosen us,” someone on the side of the workers whispered.

“I’ve chosen no one!! Look at yourselves!” Zarc snapped.

Ray felt her own ire bubbling.

“What is this for?” she said.  “What is this for?!”

She came forward to put her hand against Zarc’s wound—blood was warm…warm and sticky and unpleasant.  But it was seeping back into his chest, the wound sealing slowly.  He put his hand on top of hers, and she could feel him trembling.

“You’re all so smart,” he said.  “So why can’t you see how stupid you’re being?”

It was not the first time either of them would realize what they were learning right now.

Humans were fascinating, wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent, capable of soaring to such great and beautiful heights.

But humans were also confusing.  Strange, and violent.

In short, humans were terrifying.

* * *

They began collecting names.

Ray was Morning Star to some.  The Harvest Maiden to others.  To still more, she was the Mother, Creator, Goddess, Bringer of Spring and Keeper of Summer, the Great Teacher.  She could hear the humans call her name, no matter which one they used, and she would come to them.  She would bless their crops to be bountiful, or instruct mathematicians on their formulas.  She would lay hands on children and teach physics to scientists.

Zarc was the Eclipse to some.  The Lord of Endings.  He was Bringer of Autumn and Keeper of Winter, the Father, Destroyer, God, the Great Guardian.  He, too, heard the humans call, but he would walk among them often without a call.  He taught medicines to doctors that would destroy illnesses in the body, assist builders in hewing trees and rocks for their pyramids.  He would comfort weeping wives burying husbands, and teach priests the proper rites for sending those who died onwards.  Humans seemed…particularly sad about death.

“I just don’t want them to cry,” Zarc would murmur, leaning against her with his arm wrapped around her.

“It hurts a lot, death?” Ray said.  “Even to those who don’t die themselves?”

“I guess so…at least, it hurts to watch them be sad.”

He chewed on his lip.

“What do you think happens when you die?” Ray said.

It was one of the many things she was finding she did not know or understand.  For all of her knowledge, death and what was beyond it…that was a mystery.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you tell the humans when they ask where they go?”

“I…I make up whatever I think will help them the most.”

“But what do  _ you _ think?”

“There's...there's one story I tell them...that feels more right than the others,” he said.  “Souls...souls don't die.”

He clenched his hands in his lap briefly, and then unclenched them.

“Souls continue, over and over.  They might come back and reincarnate on this world again.  Or they might...ascend.  Become something inhuman—a star, even.”

“Really?” Ray said.

“I don’t know,” he admitted.  “But it feels right.”

He rubbed his nose with the back of his finger.

“And some souls...just move on.  They go someplace else.  The place that they came from in the first place.”

Ray leaned her head against his shoulder, looking up into the sky.

“That sounds beautiful,” she said, after a long beat.  “It sounds...right.”

She could feel him smiling as his arm came up behind her to wrap around her waist.

“Yeah,” he said.  “I thought so too.”

She stared up at the stars.

“Do you think  _ we’ll _ ever die?” she said.

“Perhaps when all the stars go out and there’s nothing left for us to create,” he said.  “Perhaps then.”

She nodded.  It was a good enough answer.  She still felt…sad, though.

He took her hand and opened it, and pressed something small and cool there.  She looked down to find another small hunk of stone, green this time, and looked up at him.

“Where’d you find this one?” she said.

“In the crook of a river at the root of a wind,” he said.

She laughed and pushed him.

“You’re a tease,” she said.

He laughed and buried his face in her hair.

“I love you,” he whispered.  “I love this world.”

“I love you, Zarc,” she whispered back.  “And I love it too, because it’s where I get to be with you.”  
  



	70. SEVENTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Mourning (Calm)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzdNqDHpNWo)

**** Whenever she didn’t know where to find him, all she had to do was follow the scent of dying life fires.

He would always be there, on the remains of yet another human battlefield, sitting on a rock and staring aimlessly at nothing.  She dropped lightly behind him, and fell so that her arms were around him, head pressed into his neck.

“It’s not your fault.”

He didn’t answer.  The battlefield yawned out before them.  Bodies, everywhere—broken weapons laid across the grounds.  Ravens darted among the bodies, picking at bones and flesh and croaking at each other.

“The people in the north call me the Raven King, you know,” he said.  “They pray to me before they go to war.”

“You tell them not to do it whenever you can,” she said.

“And the tribes in the swamps, they call me the Lord of Endings and the Keeper of the Gate of Death.”

“You’ve never, ever told them to do any of this.”

A tear rolled down his cheek.  Another.

“Why do they do this?” he mumbled.  “Why do they hurt each other like this?  And…and why does it hurt, Ray?”

She held him tighter, her own tears bubbling in her eyes.

“Because you love them,” she whispered.  “Because you love them, and it hurts to see the ones we love hurting or being hurt.”

Zarc slumped in her arms, and she shifted closer to him.

“Here,” she murmured.  “It’s time I found one for you, right?”

His lips parted as she dropped the hunk of yellow stone into his hand.

“I was going to make something with it for you,” she said.  “But…but maybe you need it now?”

His hand curled around the pale stone, and he tightened around it.  He released it and lifted it to his face.  His lips flickered slightly.  She squeezed him.

“Remember what you told me?  This is a symbol of what we can do together.  Creation and Destruction—together, they make something beautiful.”

He swallowed as she tilted his face towards hers.

“You are not a monster,” she said.  “And what the humans choose to do…it’s not your fault, or mine.  We can only do so much—they get to decide what kind of lives they live.  And so do you.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Ray’s.

“Will you come with me?” he said.

“Where?” she said.

He smiled, eyes still closed, but it was a shaky smile.

“I’ve given you stones, and you’ve given me one…should we try finding one together?”

She smiled.  That was the Zarc she knew.

“Let’s make it a special one.”

* * *

Several years of searching for the perfect stone was no more than a blink for ones as old as they.  They finally dug it up together, their nails thick with dirt as they unearthed the quartz-y hunk.

“It doesn’t look like much,” Zarc said.

“It will when we’re done with it,” she said.

They had never used their powers on so small a scale before, but they put everything they had into it.  He cut away the excess rock or melted it away, encouraging the rock to meld under their hands.  She drew the ore free from the excess rock and folded and melted it down, carving it with delicate etchings until they formed small wings.  When he finished cutting the stone into a neat, straight shape, she wrapped the wings around it, and together they fashioned the chain and clasp.

“What is it?” she said, when she finally broke free of her haze of work.  She hadn’t even been thinking about what she was making.

He held it up by the chain, and it swung, slowly, back and forth.

“I think…humans call things like this pendulums,” he said.  “They swing back and forth, back and forth…”

“Like us,” Ray said, and he looked at her with surprise.  “When you destroy, I create, and when I create, you destroy…we swing back and forth between each other.”

An awed smile passed over his face.

“Yeah,” he said.  “Just like us.”

*    * *

“Give him back!”

Zarc blinked with surprise, turning around.  Ray startled, too.  Was that person screaming at them?

_ They can't hurt us _ , she reminded herself, as she looked towards the woman at the edge of the woods, her eyes wild under her cowl, hand wrapped tightly around a blade in one hand and a swaddled lump in the other.

“What's wrong?” Zarc said, stepping forward.  He held up his hands in a soothing gesture, but it didn't seem to matter to the ragged woman, who swung her knife around wildly.

“I said, give him back to me!” she screamed, tears flooding from her eyes.  “Give back my baby, he didn't deserve this, give him back!”

Oh, Ray realized, hand lifting to her mouth.  The swaddled lump in her arms...it was a child.  It was—it was a dead child.  Her heart panged.  To be taken from life so soon...she hoped that Zarc's theory was correct, and that souls could be reborn, because such a short life seemed so cruel.

“I can't bring him back to life,” Zarc said calmly.

“You can!  You can!  You're the one who took him!” the woman screamed, still swinging her knife around wildly, almost dropping her lump.  “Give him back to me, Lord of Death!  He doesn't belong on your carriage yet!”

Ray winced.  The stories about their powers and aliases became stranger by the day, she thought.

“Zarc can't control when things die,” she said, stepping forward.  “And nor can I.  This world moves on its own clock now, without our assistance.”

The woman simply screamed again.  When Ray looked back at Zarc, he looked pained and guilty.  She grabbed his hand, and the pendulum around his neck swung softly.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, putting her hand on the pendulum.

He nodded—he understood, but it still hurt.  It hurt Ray too, thinking about that poor child.

“I'm sorry,” he soothed, coming forward another step.  “If there was anything I could do, I would do it.  Let me help you give him a proper burial.”

“I won't bury my baby!  Give him back to me!”

She was starting to scare Ray.  Ray put a hand on his arm.

“Zarc, let's go,” she said.  “You won't talk sense into her.”

Zarc flinched, looking white.

“I have to help,” he said.  “I have to help her learn how to survive.”

“You don't owe her anything,” Ray said.  For some reason, her heart was leaping in her chest, so fast she could barely breathe all of a sudden.

“Humans need to learn,” Zarc said.  “I have to be the one that teaches them how to move on.”

“Zarc,” Ray said, gripping him even tighter, preventing him from going to her.  “She doesn't want to be helped.  I love them as much as you, but we can’t save all of them.”

Zarc looked at her, pained, his lips parting and brow furrowing with concern.  He looked at the woman again, with her ragged breaths and blotchy red face and the dead lump in her arms.  Something in his face crumpled.  She ached with pain, too.  But...there was nothing either of them could do...

“Please bury him the right way,” Zarc said.  “Things will heal with time.”

Ray let out a long sigh as he finally turned alongside her, and she gripped his arm in hers, closing her eyes briefly.  She relaxed.

Too soon, it seemed.

It happened so fast that she didn't even have time to scream.  She heard Zarc cry out with pain, heard the woman scream—and then there was a rush of motion and then—

Ray staggered back, but kept her feet.  Zarc had flailed so badly at her that he had knocked her away from him, and when her vision cleared from the dizzy spell, she saw...

Zarc stood completely stock still, his mouth hanging open, hands out, tears bubbling in his eyes.

“I—” he choked.

At his feet, the woman lay still—her neck spun the wrong way around.

Oh no.  She was…her life fire was gone.  Ray’s stomach roiled.

Zarc looked worse, though, trembling and nervous and white faced.

She leaped forward, grabbing his arms as he staggered back.  Bile rose in her throat at the sight of the blood on his back—she had slashed him, very badly, and his back was bleeding through the tear in his shirt.

“I—” Zarc choked.  “I didn't mean to—I didn't mean to do it, I just—I reacted—”

“Sh, sh, sh, it's not your fault,” Ray tried to soothe him, holding his arms, trying to still the tremble there.  Tears bubbled in her eyes too.  She felt his pain, all too well, but it wasn’t his fault.  “It wasn't your fault.  You were just reacting, like you said.”

“She couldn't have hurt me,” he said, hollowly.  His wound was already sealing up, the blood seeping back into its place.  “I knew she couldn't hurt me, so why did I...?”

“You were surprised,” Ray said, cupping his face with one hand.  “You were just surprised, Zarc, you didn't do it on purpose, it wasn't your fault.  It scared me too.”

She tried to hold Zarc closer, but he—he shrugged her hands off, stepping away from her and clutching at his head.

“I'm...I'm sorry,” he breathed.  “I think I need a few minutes.”

She opened her mouth, reached forward—but Zarc was already turning around and fleeing into the woods, vanishing into the slowly darkening night.

Ray stood there beside the body of the mangled woman, her hand frozen in midair towards the place where her lover had been moments before.  Hours passed.  They were barely more than a blink in the life of one as old as her.

And yet, she thought, they felt like centuries.

* *    *

Ray stopped talking, her voice echoing against the walls of the tiny house.  Her words hung in the space, echoing between Yuzu’s ears.

“It's getting late,” she mumbled, looking at the faraway setting sun through the window.  “You should sleep.  And I need to bring Zarc in.  I'll finish the story tomorrow.”

She stood up before Yuzu could protest, and she swept out of the house.  Yuzu just stared after her, not having the strength in her legs to stand up.  The sun set slowly, light filtering between the mountains as a cool breeze wafted down through the window, ruffling the wildflowers in the vase.

Beside her, the hallucination of Yuya had not vanished.  He sat quietly, without talking.  Like he was waiting for her to talk first.

“How can she stop there?” Yuzu said.  She didn't care about being crazy anymore.  She had to talk, and the imaginary Yuya was the only one there.  “When is any of this going to make any  _ sense _ !”

She dropped her head down between her knees, resisting the urge to scream.

Yuya's cool hand touched her shoulder, sending light shivers down her spine.

“I remember what happens next,” he whispered.  “It’s coming back to me.”

Her head shot up, and she stared, wide mouthed, at the apparition of Yuya.

“You're just a figment of my imagination,” she pointed out.  “How could  _ you _ know what happens when I don't?”

Yuya smiled at her.

He was...so solid...for a hallucination.

Maybe…was it…really true…?  Was he here…?  She remembered, then how Yuto, Yugo, and Yuuri had all been there in his mind, and—and was it possible that…that he was…

Yuya folded his hands in his lap, closed his eyes, and he began to speak.

*    *    *

Zarc fled.  He didn't know where he was going, or where he  _ could _ go.  He supposed, perhaps, he could flee up into the stars, hide in some corner of space where he could watch the stars he and Ray had made slowly swirl into life and then explode in a beautiful arc of light.

But the idea didn't appeal to him, not now.  He ran until he couldn't see for the darkness, and then jogged to a brisk walk.  He flapped his hands back and forth, trying to shake the tremble out of them.

All he could think of was the woman.  Screaming.   _ Bring him back.  Give him back. _

“I didn't take him,” he mumbled.  “I didn't take him, I'm sorry, I didn't take him.”

Death was something that he didn't know how to understand, for as much as he pretended.  He had seen death since the moment of his birth.  From the death of Ray's particles, a universe had exploded into life.  From the death of the stars, worlds had been born.  From the death of animals, new plants grew to feed more animals.  It was natural—everything flowed into each other.

But how did he explain that to humans?  Why didn't they understand?

“I want them to understand,” he mumbled, hugging himself.  “Please...I need them to understand...I want them to be happy...”

Calm.  He had to...calm down.  He had probably worried Ray a lot.  He had to breathe.

“I...I need to bury her,” he realized, thinking about the woman, the heels of his palms pressing into the balls of his eyes.  “I need...I need to bury them both...”

He turned around, staggering slowly back the way he had come.  He would...he'd put her to rest properly.  Ray was right, he couldn't save all of them.  He could...only do his best to spread ways for the humans to learn how to cope with the cycle of life and death.

He just wished he felt more up to the task...what did he, a deathless being, know of grief?

He was so caught up in his own dizzy spiral of thoughts that he did not hear the sound of the flung chain until it struck him in the chest, briefly shocking him frozen.  It was just enough of a pause for the chain to tighten, dragging his arms against his sides.  What the—

Another chain flung itself around his legs when he tried to throw himself against the sudden bonds, and then one was striking him around the neck from the opposite direction and he  _ screamed _ .  It—it burned!  Why did it burn??

The chains yanked in opposite directions, taking his feet out from under him and he dropped face first into the dirt with a cry.  W-why couldn't he get free?  Why couldn't he fight against this—he was Destruction!  He struggled and cried out, but the chains only tightened further—they weren't responding to his repeated attempts to dissolve them.  What was happening??

Shadows melted from the trees, then, and he could see them with their eyes glinting in the light of the full moon, despite his face being pressed half into the dirt.

“What is the meaning of this!” he shouted, struggling.  “Release me!”

No one responded to him except to drag his bonds a little tighter, squeezing the air out of his throat.

A large man moved forward a bit, considering him.  He reached up to pluck a pipe from his mouth, ring glittering on his finger.  Then, without responding to Zarc or even looking at him, he looked back up at his fellows.

“Friends,” he said in a deep, rumbling voice.  “Tonight...we destroy death.”

 


	71. SEVENTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Possessed by a Disease](https://youtu.be/VPXuopwIdBo)

He'd been gone for three days.  Was...was that enough of a moment for him?

Ray paced back and forth between the places that they liked to frequent.  She hopped up towards the stars, to see if he was hovering around them like he did when he was feeling sulky.  She walked through his favorite cities, fending off reverent whispers with a faint smile, trying to ask if any of them had seen Zarc.  They hadn't, they all said, and when she asked, some of them averted their eyes from her gaze—others looked concerned.  More than one asked worriedly what had become of their Lord of Passings On.  He hadn’t been responding to calls…he hadn’t come to the funerals that they had prayed for him to attend.  That was unlike him.

Still others, however, didn't seem worried at all, and she wondered if...had she been anyone else, would they have said what they really felt?

Would they say that they hated and feared her beloved Zarc, simply because they saw him as the origin of necessary death?

She trod over and over the paths that they loved, searching high and low for him. She even tracked the edges of battlefields, wondering if he was there, thinking about the humans he couldn’t save or get through to again.

“Zarc!” she called over and over again.  “Zarc!”

Where  _ was _ he?  It...it wasn't like him to disappear.  Her heart thumped in her chest, almost choking her with the way it rose up to the base of her throat.  She couldn't remember a time that they had been apart for so long and it was making her dizzy.  What happened?

_ He can't die, _ she reminded herself, as she checked the old overgrown shrines from hundreds of years ago that Zarc sometimes liked to meditate at.   _ He can't die. _

Death—death wasn't something she thought about, not the way that Zarc did.  He was always fascinated and somewhat nervous about it.  The natural cycle of the existence they had made fascinated him in a way that it never had her.  She was more fascinated with the processes that she made things with, about the beautiful thrill of excitement that came with making something new, or seeing what came out of the end of something.

She had never, ever thought about the fact that Zarc could end.  Or end before she did, at least.

_ No, he can't die.  He can't disappear.  We know that. _

She knew that, in her bones.  They were the creators of this world, but they did not belong to it—they were outside of its cycle.

She waited in the place where the woman had died, thinking Zarc might return there.  The body had disappeared—she suspected some humans must have found it, and buried it.  But Zarc would think it was his responsibility to oversee her funeral, and he would have to come back.  Right?

She waited.

And waited.

The sun burned on, sinking slowly beneath the horizon.  A few moments had never seemed so long to her.  Her head started to droop.  She didn't require sleep, but after so long living around humans, after so long of not needing to maintain the cycle of life by hand, she had found that parts of her became tired after long periods of time—especially when she was separated from Zarc.

Her eyes began to droop.  She tried to force them open.  She had to...be awake when Zarc came back...he'd need comfort, still, she knew...

A loud squawking sound caught her attention and she startled awake.

“What—what?” she said, eyes widening.

She looked everywhere, groggy and eyes blurry.  After a few moments of fumbling, she realized the sound came from the ground, and she looked down, lips parting.  A falcon stood on the ground before her, red breast gleaming, eyes sparking in the sunset light.

It squawked at her again, spreading its wings.

“What?” she said, blinking at it.  “Is something wrong?”

The falcon let out a low, thin keen.  Her breath caught.

“You know where Zarc is?”

The bird keened.  It flapped its wings, trying with a bit of difficulty to get itself off the ground.  Ray shot to her feet as it managed to lift off, and then began to flap towards the trees.  It picked up speed after it got itself into the air, and Ray had to run to keep up.  She darted around and under and over branches, running and pumping as fast as she could.  Her heart hammered in her chest.  What was wrong that a falcon had to come and tell her where Zarc was?  At least the animals still remembered how to come to them.

The falcon lead her deep into the woods, until the sun had set fully and they were sent into a deep, dark twilight.  The stars were starting to flicker into view when the falcon finally swooped down and landed on a branch, the branch swaying a bit under its weight.  Ray staggered to a stop.  She pressed her hand to the trunk of the falcon's tree and pressed her other hand to her chest, catching her breath.

“Here?” she said.  “But I don't...”

Voices.  She heard voices.  And she sensed life fires.

Her heart froze when she heard a muffled, distant scream.

The falcon did not follow as she crashed through the trees, running towards the sounds.  What was going on?  Another war, maybe?  Was Zarc getting himself caught up in mediating?

She staggered to a stop just at the edge of the clearing, where the moonlight filtered down through the trees and set the world alight with silver.  She didn't know what stopped her—but she hesitated, lingering at the edge and squinting into the night.

The moonlight illuminated each edge with a silver, liquid outline.  She saw a few hunched shadows sitting in circles around dying campfires, one human poking at the fire to keep it running.  They had spears held over their shoulders—rudimentary weapons, not at all like what humans had begun to develop as of late.  They were remarkably good at creating weapons of war, she had always noticed with some distaste.

But where had the scream come from?

She pressed closer to the edge of the clearing—she wasn't sure why she was being so wary.  The humans were of no threat to her.  But something held her at the edge.  Was this...fear?  She wasn't sure she had ever felt anything like it before.  She squinted.

There was...something in the middle of the congregation, where a few more shadows were standing instead of sitting.  She saw one hunched over something big, square, and black, like a big stone block in the shape of a table.

She heard faint, mumbling voices, a muffled swear.

“Try the next one,” she heard someone say.

Try...what?

Someone passed something through the dark to one of the people hunched over the table.  It glinted—was that a knife?

One of the standing shadows brandished the knife—and then plunged it down onto the table.

There was that muffled scream, and something on the table flailed—something human shaped, she realized with horror.  She saw hands straining against chains bolted to the table, a body arching up with a blotted scream at the knife and—

Oh—oh fuck.  Oh  _ fuck _ .

That was Zarc.

For just a moment, she completely whited out.  When she came to, she was standing in the clearing, having walked all the way to where the fires burned, and people were scrambling to their feet.

“My lady Creation,” someone stammered.  “Forgive us, your Grace, we had no idea you were—”

“What are you doing?”

Her voice sounded strange and hollow and wrong even to her, and she saw a few faces stiffen or flinch.  But she didn't look at them—her eyes were fixed only on the shape on the table, a shape that now, in the light of the moon, she could see with almost perfect clarity.

Zarc lay chained to the table, his shirt ripped and mostly removed.  A horrible array of cuts lined every inch of his bare skin—they were sealing up, but slowly, much more slowly than they should be.  A thick cloth had been forced between his lips, accounting for the muffled sounds of his screaming.  And someone standing over him was still holding the knife that had just been stabbed into Zarc's heart—still coated with Zarc's blood.

Zarc's head flopped towards her, and his beautiful, star-stuff eyes were—they were filled with tears, his face stained with dried tear tracks, and Ray's brain just stopped.

“My lady,” someone said, stepping forward from the stone table that held Zarc.  “How good of you to bless us with your presence.  We are currently fighting against death itself.”

Ray felt like she was moving in slow motion.  The eternity she had lived could not compare to these moments.  Her mouth opened woodenly, words tumbling out of her like some kind of machine.

“Oh?” she said.  “And why does your voice make it sound like I should be praising you for that?”

The man blinked, lips parting.  He looked genuinely surprised.

“Death is at a perfect opposition to you,” he said.  “Shouldn't you want to remove it?  Your power can keep this world in a state of eternity.”

Ray's mind very, very slowly narrowed until all she could see was Zarc.  Zarc, lying bound and in pain on the table.

This was where he had been all this time.  She had had no idea.  She had left him to this—left him here to be tortured by these wretched, wretched humans.

_ He can't die, _ she thought.   _ They're trying to find out a way to make him die. _

_ To take him away from me. _

She fixed her eyes on the man that had spoken.

“Eternity doesn't exist.”

She had the power to create entire worlds under her fingertips.  She could hear faint gasps as each human felt the pressure in the air tighten, felt the gravity increase.  Her hair started to flap around her, her dress flowing in a circle from the wind that slowly began to whip up.

“My lady—” the man started.

She killed him first.  Nothing fancy.  Just encouraging the earth itself to reform itself, very quickly, into a spike that drove up through his entire torso and through his head.

She heard the screams, but not really.  Her power rushed out from her all at once.  She didn't have the time, energy, or patience to come up with creative ways to kill them.  She just increased the gravity and pressure on them all at once so rapidly that their heads exploded.

No sooner had the bodies hit the ground, however, that there was a sudden, pulsing tightness in her chest.  She screamed as she felt something rip out through her chest, through her throat, in a whistling whirlwind of a scream, dragging itself out of her until she had no strength left to stand.  She dropped to her knees, hands burying into the dirt—w-what had just happened?  She felt so dizzy, and...

She...she couldn't feel the world around her.

Her hands shook as she slowly, slowly pressed one palm to her mouth, trying to stop herself from throwing up.

She felt...empty.  There was no pulsing fire in her chest anymore.  Her head was empty—all of the knowledge of the world that had been so second nature to her...the knowledge of how to pull particles together, to create mass and shape...gone.  She was...she was empty.

Her powers were gone.

She wasn't Creation anymore.

She was just...Ray.

Logically, she knew what had happened.   _ I was made to create.  I just...I destroyed.  I destroyed them.  I broke the balance.  I broke the  _ rules _. _

Emotionally, she didn't care.

As soon as she had enough strength to stand, she wobbled to her knees.  She pulled herself along by her hands, half crawling until she reached the table.  She dragged herself up by the bloody stone, gripping at Zarc.  His eyes looked at her, blurry and distant, and she wondered if he was even lucid. His blood stained the table, seeped into the ground around it, and it was already all over her hands.

She didn't care.

She threw herself across his chest.  It took what felt like centuries, with her suddenly incredibly weak body, but she pulled the gag free from his lips, and went at prying the chains open with nothing but her fingers, until her nails bled.  Her hands healed, just like they always had.

_ My powers are gone, and yet I remain, healing as I always have, _ she thought.

There would be time to think about what all that meant later.

“I'm sorry,” she said, cupping Zarc's face.  He was so exhausted that he couldn't even reach for her, his eyes dull and distant.  “I'm s-orry.  I should have come so much sooner, I'm sorry, Zarc, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—”

She pressed her face into Zarc's neck, hugged him tightly, and cried, not even caring about the blood that stained her face and chest.

Zarc barely even made a move.

He just continued to stare, straight up into the sky, and he didn't make a single sound.


	72. SEVENTY TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Domain of God (Wretched Weaponry)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgBFwK4E0xY)

**** It took her hours, holding him over her shoulders as she half dragged him away from that horrible, bloody place, but she took Zarc to one of his favorite old shrines, overgrown with vines and flowers.

He didn't talk for four days.  He just sat there, back leaning against the shrine, staring at nothing.  She tried to do her best to fill the silence, sitting beside him while she wove crowns out of flowers.  While she tried not to think about the aching, gaping hole in her chest where her knowledge of the world used to be.  About how she could never again leave this ground, go see the stars and dance through the darkness with Zarc.  When this world died...would she die with it?

As long as her Zarc was alive, that was all that mattered.

“The falcons have been coming to visit a lot today,” she said, trying to sound cheery.  “And look, your favorite flowers are starting to bloom!”

Zarc barely even blinked in her direction.  She kept weaving her flowers together and tried not to cry.  Not in front of him.  He had been through so much worse than she had.

“Look,” she said, digging in her pocket briefly.  “Look, Zarc...remember these?.”

She laid the stones out in front of him: the pink one, the blue one, the green one, the yellow one.

“You love these stones, right?” she said.  “I have an idea—why don’t we try and carve something out of them again?  Like our pendulum.”

Zarc didn't respond.

Was he...gone?  Was he just gone?  Ray swallowed.  Think...think...what could she do to engage him?

“The falcons brought me some letters from the city,” she said, cautiously.  “I think...I think some of your friends among the people there miss you.  You haven't been to a funeral in a while.”

No response.  She should have known better.  Wincing, she went back to weaving her flowers.

“What's the point....”

Ray's heart stopped—they were the first words she had heard out of him in days, and she dropped her flower crown, turning towards him in a flash.

“Zarc?” she said, prompting gently.  She didn't want this moment to pass, she wanted him back...she wanted her Zarc back...

Zarc continued to stare at nothing—but his fists were curling up in his lap.

“I said, what's the  _ point _ ...” he mumbled.  “They never fucking  _ learn _ ...”

“Zarc...?” Ray said.

She tried to touch his shoulder.

He flinched from her, shooting up to his feet all at once and staggering—his eyes were wide and face white.  She flinched back, holding her hands up.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” she said.  “I didn't mean to startle you.”

But Zarc began to actually pant a bit from his suddenly panic, and he pressed a hand to his mouth.

“I did everything for them,” he said into his palm, words muffled.  “I did  _ everything _ ...”

Ray rose to her feet, trying to move slowly so she wouldn't startle him again.  She wanted nothing more than to grab hold of him, drag him against her chest and hold him, stroking his hair until he came back to her.

“I know, I know,” she said.  “You love humans so much, I know...”

“I don't,” Zarc said, his voice suddenly thick and gravely.

“I...what?”

“I said I  _ don't _ ,” Zarc said, practically snarling.  “I don't love them—I can't believe—I ever—”

He was panting and gasping again, and he stepped back, away from Ray's hesitantly reaching hands.

“They—ungrateful little—” he mumbled—he was crying, she realized.  He was  _ crying _ .  “I did everything for them, Ray!  And they—they turned on me—”

“It wasn't everyone,” she said, panic spiking in her chest.  This wasn't her Zarc.  This wasn't the Zarc she knew and loved. “Zarc, it wasn't everyone, most humans love you, they understand—”

“They don't!  They never did!  They never got it!” he practically screamed.  “I had to make up shit for them all the time about how souls live on forever—they couldn't handle even the concept of things ending!  They'll come for me again, Ray, they'll do it over and over again, they'll fake trusting me, but they never will!  I'm the Raven King, the  _ Lord of Death _ , don't you understand?”

He spat the last words, and Ray flinched.  For a moment, Zarc looked chagrined, hesitating.  And then his face whitened, and he stepped forward, gripping Ray's arms.

“They might come for you too,” he mumbled.  “If they know you were the one that saved me, they'll—they'll fear you too, they'll hurt you too, Ray, I can't, I can't let them do the same thing to you—”

“Zarc, it's okay,” she soothed, grabbing his hands and rubbing them soothingly.  “No one is going to hurt me.”

She gripped his arms back, gently so that he could break away if he wanted.  She could feel him trembling, see his bottom lip shaking as tears rolled down his cheeks.

And just as suddenly as his tears had begun, his face went blank and stony, and he started to pant again.

“We have to make sure they don't do it again,” he said.  “We have to teach them—we're the ones who made them.”

Ray didn't like the sudden coldness in Zarc's voice.  Her heart leaped.  She slid her hands up Zarc's arms to his shoulders, holding him closer.

“Zarc, you're not talking like yourself,” she said.  “Please...we need to calm down...we need to take a breather...okay?”

Zarc shook his head.

“They were a mistake,” he mumbled. “They could never fit into the cycle like everything else.  They always wanted to fight against it—they always wanted our power.  Fighting wars, creating inventions, thinking they had power over the world we made—they were always like this.  I should have seen it before, I can't believe it took me this long—”

Ray couldn't believe what she was hearing.  Her heart fluttered so badly that for a moment, all she could hear was her own heartbeat.

“Zarc, listen to yourself,” she said.  “This isn't—this isn't you.  Please, I don't know what you're saying.  The humans—we loved them  _ because _ they were like us, because they made things like we did.”

Zarc met her eyes with such ferocity, with such burning, crazed passion and hate, that she almost released him, feeling her heart go cold.

“No, they’re not like us!  They’re not like us because they don’t have the  _ knowing  _ that we have!  They fuck up all the time and make things worse!  They hurt  _ each other! _ ”

“That’s why we’re here, right?” she said.  “We can teach them—you always want to teach them.  There will be more humans and we can always keep going and keep teaching them and learning from them, too, Zarc, there’s bad ones, but we can’t—”

“I'm saying we need to get rid of them,” he said, slowly.  “We need to remove the humans completely.”

Ray actually did let go of him this time, stepping back, feeling shock course through her so badly that it was a wonder she was still standing.  Zarc stared back at her, looking surprised.  For a long moment, they just stared at each other in stunned silence.

Ray tried to speak, but it took several tries through her dry throat.

“What are you talking about?” she said, voice trembling.  “We...we made them, Zarc.  They're a part of this place now.”

“We  _ did  _ make them,” Zarc said.  “Which means we have the right to destroy them.”

She could feel the pressure in the forest around them getting so thick that it was almost hard to breathe.  She couldn't adjust to it anymore, not without her powers.

“Zarc, this isn't you,” she said.  “Z-Zarc, listen to yourself...you  _ love _ humans...”

“I was a blind fool,” he growled.  “And what's this about you  _ defending _ them?  You've seen everything they’ve done!  You’ve watched everything that I have—you saw what they did to—”

His face whitened and he choked.  She tried to step forward, but she was too scared to touch him, for fear she would frighten him.

“What  _ those _ humans did you was wrong,” she said.  “I will never,  _ ever _ forgive them for it.”

She swallowed.

“But we made them, Zarc…they came to be because of us.  We can’t go removing all of them without considering the costs…”

“Then I’ll just destroy some of them—I’ll leave an impression.  I’ll make them fear us so they’ll never do anything like this again.”

“Even the ones that love you?” she said.  “Zarc, please—listen to yourself.  You love humans… _ we _ love humans.  The real you—the you I  _ know _ —wouldn’t want this.”

“This  _ is _ the real me,” he snarled, and this time he shot for her, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her slightly.  “I've had the wool dragged off of my eyes, Ray, and I see them for what they really are—a  _ mistake _ .”

“You're calling something we made together a mistake?” Ray said, her voice rising to a high pitched scream.  “You're calling a piece of this perfect world that we love that formed because of our  _ love _ a  _ mistake _ ?”

Zarc flinched, his face white, but his rage didn’t subside.  He released her so violent that she stumbled, but held her ground.

“You've been hurt, Zarc, I know,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.  “Nothing can ever change or fix that—but this is wrong, this is  _ wrong _ , and if you were thinking clearly, you would see that!”

“I am thinking clearly,” Zarc growled.  “More clearly than I ever have before.”

His shoulders hunched and he snarled towards her, like some kind of feral animal.

“You're just scared,” Ray said, voice cracking.  “Zarc, I understand, you're scared, but we need to take some time, you need to give yourself time to heal, you can't be impulsive—”

“No, Ray, I'm done waiting and watching this world go to ruin,” he said.  “The time of humans has  _ ended— _ as it should have a long time ago.”

He curled his lip at her.

“And it's not like you even have any power left to stop me, do you?” he said with a snarl.

And before she could stop him, he stormed away, disappearing.

“Zarc!   _ Zarc! _ ”

She tried to run after him—but he had his powers.  She did not.  She couldn't keep up with him, someone who could be anywhere he wanted to be in the blink of a second.  She could feel a need to jump between spaces—but only to the people that were calling her name, asking for her divine assistance.

Zarc wasn’t calling for her.

She ran until she couldn't run any longer, until she tripped and went skidding face first into the dust.

She curled her fingers into the dirt, and did not lift herself from it.

_ He's...he's just letting off steam _ , she thought to herself.   _ He'll...he'll never hurt anyone. _

_ My Zarc...he would never hurt anything... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day lol


	73. SEVENTY THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Birth of a Wish](https://youtu.be/5wcXPfR5NJg)

**** She saw the pillars of smoke first.  She tried to convince herself that they were something else.

The fire and heat came next, so that the sky itself started to become thick with smoke and ash.  It was just a volcano erupting, she told herself.

The people came next.

Some of them fled in packs—she heard them crashing through the woods, away from the closest city.  Heard people screaming each other’s names, wondering where someone had gone or how they had gotten separated.  Streams would run through every now and then, and Ray would watch from her hiding place by the old overgrown shrine and try to figure out if she felt anything other than a growing, numb hollowness.

No one knew her when she walked among them.  They gave her as much of a glance as they could spare and kept moving.

“What happened?” she asked.  Over and over again.  Some people wouldn’t answer, they just put their heads down and kept marching on.

“The gods are angry with us,” one young man with tear tracks in the dirt on his face.

“It’s the end of the world,” an old woman croaked, barely able to keep walking on her own.

“The demon of death is here for us,” someone said with haunted eyes and hollow cheeks.

Ray would nod, fall back, and disappear into the new crowd until it dissipated and left her entirely alone once again.

It began to rain a few days later, and it would not stop.  The people stopped traveling through the woods as much anymore.

She was afraid to leave.

Instead, she would stand in the rain, near the shrine, staring up at the heavy clouds through the gaps in the leaves, and let the water wash over her face.  She didn’t feel like she was a part of it anymore.  She didn’t feel like she was a part of anything.

There was no power in her hands, no knowledge in her chest, and no Zarc at her side.

She wondered how long it would take her to forget.  If she stood here forever, would she forget everything?  Forget who she had been, forget her name, forget her powers, forget Zarc?

Sometimes people would pass through again.  They were fleeing, they’d always tell her.  From the fires.  From the death and destruction.  She didn’t want to hear about it.

“Are you an ascetic?” one asked her.

“What’s that?” she asked, her voice thick and dry despite the rain pounding down on her face, without taking her eyes from the sky.

“Someone who has retreated from the world to worship the gods alone.”

She stared at the sky through the raindrops in her eyelashes.

“No,” she said.  “I’m just someone who likes to stand without moving.”

Sometimes falcons would land on her shoulders or on the ground around her, but they didn’t like the rain, and they’d shuffle off into the trees.  Lizards slept around her feet, and birds would land in the branches to watch her, deer passing through to put their noses on her shoulder.

They remembered her, and what she used to be, somehow.  The animals did, even if the humans didn’t.

Maybe this new Zarc was right.

Maybe humans  _ were _ a mistake.

“Holy one,” people sometimes called her when they passed through and saw her, standing, motionless in front of the shrine.  It shocked her the first few times, thinking that someone had remembered who she was.  She quickly learned that they all thought she was some kind of nun, who had taken a vow of solitude and motionless prayer before the shrine.

“Will you bless us, holy one?”

“I don’t have any power left to bless anyone.”

They always moved on.  She wondered if Zarc had run out of steam and hate yet.  If he had left enough of an ‘impression’ yet.

“I know who you are.”

She didn’t respond to the shaking voice.  She didn’t respond to the squelching sound of feet sloshing through the mud, or the hands that grabbed her arm as the owner of the voice fell to their knees.

“I know who you are,” they said again, voice trembling.  “You’re the goddess.  I recognize you.”

“I'm not,” she mumbled.

“You are,” they said, tugging on her arm, voice raising.  “You are; I remember you!  I saw you when I was a child, at the harvest festival.”

Ray shook her head as the rain fell down and down and down.

“You have to help us,” they cried.  “Please—you have to save us.  Please.”

“I don't have...I don't have the power to do that anymore,” Ray said.

She wasn't sure if she was crying, or if it was only the rain.

“Please,” they begged.  “Please.  My lady goddess, please...we will all die without you.  You have to save us.”

Ray wasn't sure how long it was before they stopped begging.  She wasn't sure how much time it took before they gave up, before they sludged back into the woods again with a broken heart and soul.

Her knees buckled from under her and she fell knee deep into the mud.

This time, she knew she was crying.

_ I'm sorry, _ she thought.  There was so much  _ pain _ in her chest.  She couldn't breathe.  What hurt the most?  The begging?  Losing Zarc?  The fact that she had been wrong, that her Zarc  _ was _ hurting everyone and that everyone was dying?  That she wasn’t doing anything about it?

_ How could you?  How COULD you? _

_ And how—how can I just stand here and do nothing about it? _

_ I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry. _

_ I'm not the goddess you want me to be.  I can’t even protect you. _

_ I couldn’t even protect the one I love. _

She remained on her knees after that.  The rain stopped after some time, it could have been days, or hours, she had no concept of time anymore.

She heard feet in the mud again.  She didn't turn to look.  They didn't say anything.  They just walked forward, until they stopped beside her.  She saw them out of the corners of her eyes, but her bangs were plastered over her eyes, and she could barely see anything.  She saw their shadow move and sit down beside her, heard them squelch into the mud.

She wasn't sure how long they sat next to her.

“You're the goddess,” they said.

It wasn't a question.  She shook her head anyway.

“Not anymore.”

She heard a faint babbling sound, and she finally turned to look.  It was a young woman, and she held a bundle to her chest.  Ray's heart spiked.  She remembered the woman with her bundle, her unmoving swaddle, her screaming, dirt streaked face—the one that had started everything.

This bundle, however, was moving.  It wriggled a bit—Ray saw a tiny hand reach out between the folds and grip for their mother's nose.  Their mother reached absently for the baby, stroking their cheek with her fingers.

“I saw him,” the woman said, without looking at her.  “I saw the god of death and endings...I stood right in front of him, in the flame and the screams and the fire.”

Ray felt her stomach clench.

“I'm sorry,” she started.

The woman continued to speak as though Ray hadn't said a word.

“He met my eyes,” she said.  “I saw him...I saw him face to face.”

She shifted her grip on her baby.

“I closed my eyes to wait for it all to end—I knew there was nowhere I could go,” the mother said. 

Then, and only then, did she turn to look at Ray.  She had tired, dark eyes, with wrinkles around the edges, despite her youthful face.  She was too young to have a baby, to be all alone, Ray thought.

“And when I opened them, he was gone,” she said.  “I saw him walking past me, as though he hadn't seen me at all.”

Ray's chest clenched.

“Oh,” she breathed.

The mother shifted her baby in her arms again, and then she rose.

“I hope that this can end,” she said.  “There's been enough sadness in this world already, that you should have to feel it too.”

Ray felt fat tears rolling down her cheeks again, smearing against the dirt and mud and tangling into the hair plastered to her face.

“Why are you comforting me?” she said.  “This is my fault—I should have stopped him sooner.  Why are you sympathizing with me?”

The mother hesitated, biting her lip.

“Is it just because I'm this...goddess?” Ray said, flapping her hands.  “I don't—I don't understand humans at all.”

Her eyes blurred so much with tears that she couldn't even see the woman anymore, and she had to close her eyes, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

It took what felt like an eternity, but the woman finally spoke again.

“I think, in the end, we're not all that different,” she said.  “We both feel the same things...goddess and human.”

Ray opened her eyes, and looked up once more at the woman's face.  The woman smiled.

“The only difference is...you and he have been alone for so long,” she said.  “I can't imagine what it feels like...to have been isolated from everyone forever, and then...lose the only person that was ever at your side.”

Ray cried.

She cried for what felt like hours, and the woman did not leave.  She cried and cried and cried.  She cried as her mind went through every single moment of her entire eternity, as she remembered every smile, every touch, every kiss, every laugh and shared dream and cuddle pile and held hand.

“I wasn't ever lonely,” she cried.  “I didn't—I didn't think I was lonely.”

The woman only put her hand on Ray's shoulder.

But this time, for the first time in what might have been weeks, Ray stood.  Her legs shook from lack of use, but she stayed on her feet.  She put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

“He didn't kill you,” she mumbled.  “My Zarc is still in there, somewhere.”

The woman smiled at her.

“I hope this story has a happy ending,” she said, wiping a tear away from Ray's eye.  “I hate the ones that end in tragedy.”

Ray didn't know what else to say.

She left the shrine, and she left the forest.

The world outside their forest was almost a wasteland.  Ray walked for what could have been days—but there was no way to tell.  The sky was so heavy with ash and smoke that it blotted out the sun, and there was no way to tell the time.  She wondered if because Zarc was using so much of his powers, if it was destabilizing the balance of their world.

She didn't know what had happened to her powers—but they must have gone somewhere.  They must have found some place to stay in motion.  She didn't have knowledge of life that she once had, but she remembered enough.  She remembered enough to know that nothing could ever truly end.  Everything would always become something else, so that the universe would keep turning.  Her powers, wherever they were, were continuing as something else.

She wondered if it was enough to counteract the damage that Zarc was doing.

She found him in the middle of a burnt out husk of a city.  She hadn't seen any humans for miles—no live ones, at least.

She wondered exactly how many he had destroyed yet.  If he had only struck this city and gone no further, yet…perhaps there was hope yet.

Zarc stood motionless in a pockmarked city square, staring up at the tall buildings that had been burnt out and reduced to ashen skeletons.  He didn't even hear her at first.  Not until her foot scraped and stumbled against a bit of debris, and he whirled, eyes wide and hands raised.

He froze when he saw her.  She stopped too.  She wasn't sure what to say.  Or what to do.

So they just stood there and stared.  It could have been an eternity for all she knew.

Time was irrelevant.

She swallowed.  Cleared her throat.

“Zarc,” she whispered.

His lips tightened.

“Why are you here  _ now _ ?” he said.  “Have you finally come to your senses?”

“I was hoping you had come to yours.”

His lips curled, but he looked...scared.  His eyes were wide, teeth bared, face white.  He was scared—he was terrified.  She took a half step forward.

“I think it's enough,” she whispered.  “I think that's enough, Zarc.”

“It won't be enough,” he said, breathing hard.  “Not until every human is dead.”

“You left at least one alive.  The woman and her baby.”

Zarc's face whitened.  He pressed a hand to his mouth, and stepped back.  She stepped forward again.

“I know you,” she said, her throat tight. “You don't want to do this.  You loved the humans more than anything.  You loved them for their potential, for their hope, for everything that they could be and were.”

“I was stupid, and a fool,” Zarc growled.

“You loved them because they made you feel less alone in the world,” Ray said.  “Because they were like you.  Out of everything we created, they were like you.  They felt things like you... _ loved _ like you...”

“I didn't need them!  I only needed you!”

Ray gasped, her eyes closing as though he had just stabbed her.  Tears prickled in her eyes.   _ That's my line _ , she wanted to say.  But she took another step forward.

“You didn't kill all of them,” she said.  “You let some of them escape—because—because you still don't want to do this, Zarc.  And you know it.  You know it more than anything so—”

She gasped through her thick throat, trying to blink away the tears so that she could see him.

“Let's go, Zarc,” she said, holding out a hand.  “Please.  Let's go back.  You don't have to do this.  I think the humans understand, now.  And I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

Zarc was breathing so hard that he looked like he might start hyperventilating.  She took another step forward, and another.  She was only an arm's breadth from him.

“Zarc,” she pleaded.  “Zarc.  It's enough.”

She smiled.

“Remember, Zarc?  Remember our pendulum?  Everything will always swing back…the good will come back from the bad.  Remember?”

For just a second, his hand twitched.  He grabbed briefly at the pendulum still around his neck.  For just a moment, she thought that he might grab her hand, might relax in that way his shoulders slumped, and then he would fall into her arms and she'd hold him and everything would be okay again.  They'd retreat into the wilderness, where no one could find them, until they were forgotten.  Until the humans had rebuilt again, and they had faded into little more than a legend.  It would be just them again, like it had started.

An arrow shot through the air and stabbed Zarc in the head.

Ray screamed as Zarc went down to one knee.  Blood streamed from his head.  She fell to her knees, trying to grab for him—where had that come from??

“Zarc—Zarc!!”

Zarc shot back to his feet.  With a roar, he ripped the arrow out of his head, blood immediately welling to the wound and running down his face.  He swiped a hand in the direction it had come from, and Ray heard screams as the building immediately dissolved—there was no trace of the humans, and Ray knew it was because they had been dissolved to their atoms too.

“Zarc!  Zarc, please—” Ray screamed.

But Zarc swiped at her, too, catching her in the chest and flinging her to the ground.  She gasped, all the air driven out of her in a moment.

“The reason I didn't kill that woman and her baby was because I was weak!” Zarc roared.  “I tried, Ray!  I tried to attack only those I thought were a danger—but others kept fighting back!  I’m a monster to them, now—so I’ll let them see it!  They’ll never learn, they’ll never understand, it’ll never be enough—I’ll destroy  _ all _ of them!”

Ray could only lay there, gasping for air and struggling to see.  She heard him snap the cord of the pendulum and it bounced when it struck her against the chest.

He was leaving, in a roiling ball of storms and pressure, and he was going to end it all.

Tears rolled down her face.  She had heard it.  Just for a moment.

The fear in Zarc’s voice.

He was scared.

He had made an awful terrible mistake—but would the humans ever truly let him rest after this?  He would be fighting until they were dead, because he could not die—but by then, he would be no more than a shell of the Zarc she had known.

The world would be empty again, and then they would both be truly alone.

_ You wouldn't have wanted this _ , she thought, remembering the kind, laughing face of the one she loved.   _ Oh fuck...I'm sorry, Zarc... _

_ But—but I have to end this. _

  
  
  



	74. SEVENTY FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Song of the Ancients - Atonement](https://youtu.be/qY5EZuIM9EA)

**** How do you kill something that is immortal?

Ray wouldn't know.  She was Creation, not Destruction.  And that was something even Zarc would not have known.  Ray didn't even have any of her knowledge anymore.  She was in the dark.

But something seemed to click.

She tried not to think too hard about what it was she was doing.  She could only move forward in the blaze of determination that she was trapped in now.

_ I'll protect the humans _ , she thought, over and over.   _ I'll protect them.  Because it's what the you would have wanted.  It’s what we both wanted.  _

_ I won't let this farce of you take away all of your legacy. _

_ The world doesn't need us anymore.  It can live without us. _

_ So I'll do it. _

_ One last act of destruction. _

She walked all the way back to the overgrown shrine, where she and Zarc had spent their last few moments together before Zarc's rampage began.  The stones were still there, and she gathered them up into her hands.

_ Where did my power go when it left me? _ she thought, holding a stone up to the light so that it glimmered.   _ It must have scattered.  Separated. _

_ I think I can call at least part of it back. _

She gathered the stones to her breast, remembering each day that she had spent with Zarc with them.

_ “You put the materials into the ground...I created the molten pressure that carved it all together.  We made this together—it's like...it's like a symbol of what we've done together.” _

Creation and Destruction.

“We can't exist without each other,” she whispered, clutching the stone in her hand.  “The world can't exist without both of us.”

She smiled.  It would have to learn, though, to exist with neither of them.

She found an abandoned smithy.  Without her powers, it was a little harder.  But then again, she had worked alongside humans, developing their trades, for thousands of years.

She gathered the wood by hand, lit the fires by hand, pumped the bellows all by her own hands.  Her palms grew calluses, which healed into tough skin in a matter of hours.  Her muscles ached and sweat matted her hair to her head.  She didn't remember ever feeling disgusting and in need of a bath before this moment.  Maybe her powers as a goddess had made her magically clean—but now, she was no longer a goddess.  She wasn't a human, either, though.  She was something else, and maybe something else was exactly what was needed to destroy a god.

She had helped the humans developing smithing in the first place, but she had never made a weapon, much less a sword.  Both she and Zarc had found non-hunting weapons to be pointless endeavors, and had discouraged them.

But her hands moved on their own.  She smelted the steel, pounded the white hot metal into place.  She cleaned the stones and cut them with the dremel tools in the back.

_ One for the day we were born,  _ she thought, pressing the yellow stone into place along the white hot metal.  It burned her skin—she had no gloves—but it healed, so she ignored the pain.

_ One for the day we fell in love, _ she thought, putting the shining green pebbles into place above the blue.

_ One for the day that we met the humans, the fragments of us finally born into this world, _ she thought when she added the blue stone next.

_ And one for the day that we die _ .

The final magenta stone fell into place.  She knew then that the weapon was done, because the heat dissipated immediately, leaving behind the most elegant, perfect sword she had ever seen.

She wrapped her fingers tentatively around the hilt, hefted it—the balance was perfect.  She had never held a sword before.  She wasn't sure she knew how.

But she only needed to do it once.

She slung the pendulum around her neck, and took up her sword.  She felt silly.

When she stepped out of the smithy, she was surprised to find that there were faces staring at her from alleyways.  Most of them vanished as soon as she noticed them.

But one young man extracted himself from the shadows, walking boldly across the ruined street to meet her eyes.

They held each other's gazes for a long time.

“Are you going to slay the demon?” the boy asked her.

Her heart clenched, and her fingers tightened around the hilt.  Demon.  She didn't want to call Zarc that—not ever.

She looked down.

“I'm going to make things right,” she said.  She lifted her head and looked at him again.  “Don't let anyone follow me until you know it's over.”

The boy hesitated.  But then he nodded, solemnly.

She looked down at him, hesitating.

Then she took the pendulum from her neck and draped it around his.

“Someday the world might need balance again,” she said.  “Treasure that…it might lead the world to safety one day.”

The boy looked down at the gift with awe.  His eyes raised to hers, and she saw the one thing she had never known before in his eyes.

The future.

_ We are the past.  But they are our future. _

_ I’ll protect them, Zarc. _

She could feel him, and the other survivors, watching her as she hiked back through the city, towards the world where Zarc still rampaged.

* *    *

She could see all the way to the stain of mountains in the horizon, not a single tree in sight no matter which direction she looked.  The ground had turned gray as though something had bleached all the life and color from it, cracked and dry and pockmarked under her feet.  Shards of earth jutted out into the sky as though some great force had caused it to bubble up from underground and explode.  Debris littered the ground in between the ripples of earth.  Zarc had been here.

The bodies lay strewn across the shards of earth, some of them in pieces, dried blood and gore scattered across the landscape.  Ray walked on, the blade in hand.  She stepped over shattered swords, broken arrows, snapped spears, and crunched unwillingly over piles of bones.

There was barely any air to breathe, and it was hard to keep calm.  Zarc wasn't just killing the humans.  He was killing the world itself—the one that they had made together.  He was destroying everything.  He couldn't control himself anymore, and Destruction had gone out of control.

The balance had to be righted

She had to stop Zarc, because she knew that the real him...the real Destruction....he would not have wanted this.

She found him waiting for her.  At least, she thought he must have been waiting for her.  He sat on an outcropping of rock, sneering in her direction.

“And now the goddess comes to the pleas of the people,” he sneered.  “How many humans did I have to kill before you got off your sorry ass and stopped crying?”

Ray pressed her lips together.

She wanted to tell herself that it wasn’t Zarc...that it wasn’t him.  But it was; this was the Zarc she had to meet, now.  The Zarc she had known was gone.

It hurt.

“I'm here to end this, Zarc,” she said.  “You can't even see what you're doing anymore.”

“I'm doing what we both should have done centuries ago,” Zarc said.  “This world doesn't need humans—it never did.  They were a fluke.  We didn't make them ourselves.”

“The world began to turn on its own after we put it in motion, Zarc,” Ray whispered.  “It's not the humans that this world doesn't need.  It's us.”

Zarc snarled, his lips curling back to bare his teeth.  He barely even looked like himself anymore.  His skin had gone as gray as the world around him, bones jutting into spikes from his shoulders that tore his clothes.  His teeth were fangs, and his beautiful golden eyes had turned a dull blood red, with slits for pupils.  His skin looked like it was cracking, as though he were made of the same earth that he had bleached the life out of.

He no longer looked human.  Not that they had ever been human, but Ray was starting to think...maybe there was a reason that humans had been born on this world.  Maybe there was a reason that they had evolved to be the way they were.  She couldn't for the life of her know what that reason was, though.

Some goddess she made.

She held up her sword.

“I'm going to end this, Zarc,” she said, her throat thick and tight.

“Like hell you are,” Zarc snarled.

His power ripped past her like a wave of hot, arid air—but although the ground itself dissolved into atoms, leaving gaping holes on either side of her, her own small bit of earth remained for her to stand on, and she felt nothing.

Zarc let out a howl of rage.

“I won't let you stop this, Ray!” he screamed.  “I won't let you!”

“And I refuse to let you become the monster you feared being seen as,” she whispered, but it was so quiet and tight that she wasn't sure he even heard her.

He launched himself towards her, but she leaped from her remaining spike of earth to the ground on the other side of the gaping holes.  Zarc recovered faster than her—he still had the enhanced strength and speed that she had once had before her powers had left her, and left her in a halfway place between human and goddess.

She lifted her blade and caught his grasping hands on it.

For a second, images danced over her eyes—a beautiful sight, the world of nothingness where for a moment, there had been only her and Zarc.  The day that they met, the day that she saw his eyes for the first time, and extended a hand to her.

He screamed and released the blade, staggering back with his hands clawed in front of his eyes.

“What—what did you just do?” he mumbled.

He had seen it too, she thought, heart fluttering.

“Zarc,” she said.  “Zarc, please...we can go back to that.  We can go back to those times.  Please...you miss them too, don't you?”

Zarc snarled, but there was fear in his eyes.  Real fear.

_ He doesn't want to do this, but he doesn't want to admit it _ , she thought.   _ I don't know which part of him will win _ .

She grasped the hilt of her sword, and went for him again.  He batted the blade aside, but as soon as it touched his skin, the memories played back again.  The image of the stars being born, the first supernova, the way their hands intertwined while they watched the fireballs streak down over the universe and scatter it with rich pellets of particles for Ray to build with.

“Stop that!” Zarc screamed.  “Stop it!”

He grabbed for the blade, in an attempt to drag it from her fingers, but more memories assaulted them, and he screamed.  She would have screamed too if she wasn't too busy crying.

She saw him lying beside her in the grass, staring up the stars.  Saw him running after the dinosaurs and laughing at birds that ruffled his hair.  Saw him digging up beautiful stones and putting them into her palm, wrapping her fingers around them.   _ It's a symbol of what we make together _ , he said with a laugh.   _ Isn't this world beautiful? _

Ray could not stop crying as Zarc released the blade and staggered back.  He was crying too.

“Please,” Ray said.  “We can stop this.”

But Zarc's face contorted with rage.

“We can't!” he screamed.  “This is how it ends, Ray!  This how it was always supposed to end!  And I'll do it with or without you!”

He flung himself towards her again, claws coming for her throat.

She wondered for a moment if she was able to die yet.  And she also wondered what death was like.

He made only the faintest of sounds.  A thin “oh” as she twisted the blade up and let his forward momentum impale himself on it up to the hilt.

_ This is what blood feels like _ .

It was warm, and sticky, and all over her hands, like the first day that the arrow had pierced Zarc’s chest.  She could not—would not—let go of the hilt.  The tremble started then, his claws frozen in front of her neck.

And his body slumped.  He was so heavy that she almost collapsed, her hands still around the hilt as his face fell against her shoulder.  She could feel his scratchy, dry skin, feel the heat of his breath against her shoulder.  She could see the blade sticking out behind him when she looked over his spiked shoulders.

The entire world fell silent.  She couldn't hear.  Nothing except the buzzing in her ears.

He would heal from this, right?  Their battle would rage until..until they gave up.

No.  She knew better.

It was over.

She pulled the blade free and staggered back.  He let out a thin, strangled gasp, before he went tumbling to his knees.

“R...Ray...” he gasped.

She couldn't tell if he was...angry...or sad...or scared...or maybe...all of them. 

“I love you, Zarc,” she whispered.

Zarc tried to look at her one last time before he keeled over, face first into the dirt.  He made a few thin, strangled sounds, and Ray tried to bend closer to hear.

“Thank...you...”

Ray's heart shattered.

Then Zarc let out a long, rattling breath, closed his eyes, and laid still.

Almost immediately, Ray heard something like a cracking sound, more in her head than through her ears.  Beneath her, Zarc's body faded from gray back to the original form it had once taken, softer, more human, the spikes drawing back beneath his skin.  And from beneath his skin, a faint wisp of mist lifted.  Was that...a soul...?

It swirled for a few moments over the top of Zarc, and then—fractured.  She saw the cracks spread through it, hair thin at first, until it shattered entirely.  The four new wisps of mist fled up into the sky, and shot off in different directions, until she couldn't see them anymore.

And then her knees gave out, and she collapsed face first into the ground beside him.  For a few moments, she just laid there, breathing in the dust.

Zarc was dead.  His soul had fled to...she wasn't sure where.  Perhaps she had been stupid to think that a shadow of Creation would be able to make something that could completely destroy a god.

Well...maybe it would be good enough to shatter her, too.

She rolled herself over with some pain, groaning at the ache even though it was already healing.  She gripped the sword in one hand and lifted it up.  It took both hands to get it situated over her breasts, pressing the tip right to her heart.

“The world doesn't need us anymore,” she mumbled. 

She wanted...she needed...to hold Zarc's hand...one last time...

She paused, and released the sword with one hand so that she could fumble for Zarc.  He was only a little ways away from her, but his face was closer, and she fumbled blindly across his face for a moment...

She felt air whisper past her fingers.

Ray dropped the sword and rolled over, scrambling to Zarc's side.  Carefully, she rolled him over, dragging his heavy, limp body into her arms.  His eyes were closed, and his shirt was bloody, but...but the wound...it was sealing up...it was...

He was breathing.

For a moment, Ray's brain went blank.  He couldn't be.  He couldn't be still alive...his soul had—

She pressed her hand to his heart, but there it was—a heartbeat.  Something—something of him was still alive.  A tiny fragment of his soul still clung to him, he was still—

“Zarc,” Ray cried.  “Oh  _ Zarc _ .”

Voices.  She heard voices in the distance.  She remembered the boy, and she wondered if something had happened in the world to make the humans know that—that Destruction's power was gone.

Fear assaulted her, making her heart thump in her chest.  What would they do if they found Zarc here, and found out that he was still alive?  He barely clung to life, but—but would they do what they had done to him again?  Would they torture him until they found a way to destroy him for good?

Ray hesitated for only a few moments.

Then she made a decision.

She took only the gems with her, tucked in her pocket after they had been pried from the sword.  She left the sword plunged into the ground in the middle of a ruined battlefield, surrounded by splatters of blood.  The humans could draw their own conclusions.

Then she dragged Zarc over her shoulders, and began to drag him slowly away.

_ We'll go to the mountains, _ she thought.   _ Where no one can find us ever again. _

She touched Zarc's face briefly, feeling tears bubble in her eyes.

_ I'll never leave you again. _

  
  



	75. SEVENTY FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Taenia Memoriae](https://youtu.be/r7xstEJ4noo)

****Once again, Ray’s words faded to an echo.

Yuzu looked terrible.  Yuya wondered if he looked the same.  His chest hurt so badly.  He wasn’t quite real and yet, hearing the story come to such an end…

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu finally mumbled.

Ray snorted.

“What are you sorry for?  What happened to me being the reason this had to happen to you and Yuya?”

Yuzu shook her head, eyes full of tears.

“You went through the same thing,” she said.  “You…I’m sorry.”

Ray put her hands on top of Yuzu’s, laying them against her palms on her lap.

“I’m an immortal being, though,” she said.  “You’re a child.”

Yuzu broke down.

Yuya felt so helpless, watching her crumple into Ray’s arms.  He couldn’t touch her.  He couldn’t comfort her.

He was barely more than a ghost.

Yuzu finally calmed down, but she stayed clinging to Ray.

“But what happened after that?” she mumbled.  “What did you do…?  Why did you come to see me?  And how…how did I get this?”

She shook her wrist with the bracelet on it.

Ray sighed.  She helped Yuzu sit back up on the bed.

“I thought to hide, far away, where humans couldn’t live, but we still could—we’re not gods anymore, but…we’re not quite human yet, either.  Even I’m not, yet, and I’ve lost everything—save my immortality, it seems.”

She looked ruefully at her hands, which showed none of the calluses that should belong to someone that did as much hard work as she did.

“And in my head, I felt this…swinging,” Ray murmured. “Like I was wearing the pendulum again.  And it led me here.”

Had she seen that strange portal then, too?  The one that filled Yuya with dread?

“I don’t know what this place is, but I think…I think it might be the center of the universe.”

She ran a hand through her hair.

“That portal you saw—I don’t know where it goes.  But I know that I’m not allowed to go through it.  I tried, when we got here.  Thinking it would lead us somewhere safe.  But I couldn’t go through.  Could barely touch it, or look at it.”

She shook her head.

“So I built our home here.  For centuries, I never budged.”

“But you could still hear humanity calling for you,” Yuya whispered.  His stomach twisted—memories that weren’t his but were surfaced too easily.  Voices that would sometimes echo distantly in his head, and a tug at the base of his soul begging him to go to those voices.

Ray nodded, and Yuzu startled again.  She still hadn’t realized, had she?  He was here, as much as he could be.  She was still too scared to accept it, though. He had been the same when Yuto, Yugo, and Yuuri first spoke in his mind.  It had taken him weeks to accept that they were really there.  He…he hadn’t heard them since he had found his way to Yuzu.  He hoped they were safe…

“I did…I heard them.  Always beseeching me for guidance or hope or strength or understanding…I ignored it.  I knew I still had the power left to appear to them when I was called, but I ignored it.  At least…until I heard someone beg my help in defeating the demon once again.”

She looked pale.

“I jumped immediately, and I watched from a distance.  That’s how I found Rayglen, and when I added that secret backdoor to their underground.  And that’s when I found out what kinds of religions had sparked up between me and Zarc and what Zarc’s religion was trying to do.”

“They were trying to collect the parts of Zarc that you scattered,” Yuzu whispered.

“His lingering anger, fear, and regret…in their pieces, they wouldn’t do much.  But combined together again, I knew it could happen again.”

She shifted in her seat, sitting on her hands.

“I…I was scared.  I didn’t know what to do.  Would I have to kill him a second time, I wondered?  And what then?  If I shattered him, over and over, would the humans keep dragging him back?”

She bit her lip, and Yuya’s stomach turned.

“So I…I started making plans,” she said.  “I still had the gems: the ones that contained a channel to my power.  I couldn’t use them anymore.  So I made them into bracelets, and I went looking for the ones who could.”

Her eyes found Yuzu’s.

“My power shattered too, when I went against my nature, but I never knew what happened to it.  I didn’t break so neatly.  My personality remained with me, my ‘self’ remained with me…but my power fled.  It took new forms to keep expressing itself in the world.”

Yuzu gasped.

“Blessings,” she whispered.  “That’s what Blessings are.”

Ray nodded, smiling.

“You’re sharp. I always knew you were.”

Yuzu cast her eyes to the floor.

“You gave me your bracelet that day because…because you knew I had inherited your power.”

“You had only a tiny sliver of it,” Ray said.  “Yuzu, if you really want to know the truth…”

She sucked in a breath.

“Anyone with a Blessing could have ended up taking my power,” she said.  “Hell…Edo could have done it, if he had had the bracelet, and the will.”

Yuya felt his mouth dropping open.

“Anyone?” he said.

“If they had any ounce of my power in them, they could have taken the large shards,” she said.  “There were four major shards.  One for each bracelet I used.  Anyone who had a ‘Blessing’ could, with the bracelet, have accessed it.”

“But you chose us.”

Ray ran a hand through her hair.

“I chose the ones I thought…might have the strength of will to decide for themselves to take it,” she said.  “Rin…I chose her because she was close to one of Zarc’s shards—and because she seemed to care for him so much.”

“Rin told me she stole her bracelet.”

“That’s what I let her think.”

Yuzu actually cracked a faint smile at that, and Yuya sighed with relief.  Yuzu was slowly coming back.

“Ruri got hers from being passed down in her family…I gave it to that family because of their strong connection with birds, even for the Corkoro.  The birds have always known me; it was the falcon who told me where Zarc was.  I thought…maybe that family could save him, if anyone could.”

“And then Selena…”

“Selena was so close, in the temple itself,” she thought.  “And she was already developing a Blessing of knowing—it was too good of a choice.”

Yuzu looked down.

“And…and me…?”

Ray smiled.

“I saw what you did for him,” she whispered.  “And I knew that you had so much kindness in you, that it would have been a crime for me not to have selected you.”

Her smile faded then.

“Of course…I messed up.  I always hoped…that you four would find a way to save him.  I put all that burden on you when you were so young, and I didn’t…I didn’t do much else…”

“Why didn’t you?” Yuzu asked, but it didn’t sound harsh.

Ray reached for her pigtails, undoing the ties and letting her hair fall down around her shoulders.

“I don’t know.  Part of me thought…I shouldn’t interfere with the humans.  I’ve done enough.  But maybe I was just scared.”

She let out a thin, sarcastic laugh.

“For all my talk of loving humans, I certainly don’t trust them very much.”

Yuzu clenched her fists in her lap.

“I can’t blame you.”

For a long time, the silence beat between them.

“But what now?” Yuya asked, and both Yuzu and Ray looked at him.  “I mean…I’m still here.  Shouldn’t…I be moving on?  So that Destruction can continue?  The girls have become Creation, haven’t they?”

Ray hummed, biting her lip.

“Yes…and no,” she said.  “Yuzu and the others; they’re not Creation itself like I was once.  They’re conduits, of a sort.  But…”

She looked over at Yuzu.

“Can you hear people calling to you?  Or do you sense the way the world interacts around you?”

Yuzu’s lips parted.

“Not really,” she said.

Ray nodded.

“Once the four of you had a reason to accept your power, you’d be able to create my sword again,” she said.  “But you needed all four.  My power was split into four main pieces.  Theoretically, once all four channels have opened, all four of you should have equal access to the power of Creation, but it seems that you don’t.  It’s still separate. All you have are my feelings, all Selena has is my knowing.  I don’t know why.”

“Selena said we were still incomplete…” Yuzu mumbled.

Ray nodded, but she looked very uncertain.  She turned to Yuya, then.

“And as for you…I have no idea,” she said. “I told you.  I don’t know anything at all about death.  By all rights, you shouldn’t be here at all.  But you’re still here.  Clinging.  Maybe…I mean, that’s certainly the reason that Yuzu was able to destroy that forcefield.  You were her channel to Destruction.”

Yuzu made a soft, choking sound.

“Are you—are you telling me he’s really here?” she choked.  “I’m not imagining him?  Hallucinating him?  You’re not faking it, you’re actually seeing him?”

“Of course he’s real,” Ray said, blinking.  “I can’t explain it, of course, but Yuya is here.  He hasn’t left.”

Yuzu’s eyes swung to Yuya, and for the first time, she was looking right at him.  It made his heart flutter with relief.

“I’m still here,” he said.  “It’s okay, Yuzu.  See?”

Yuzu’s lip trembled.  Her hands reached for him, but his passed through hers when he reached back.  Her tears bubbled over, and she doubled over against her knees.

“I’m sorry,” she cried.  “I’m so sorry, Yuya, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Yuya could only sit there helplessly, while Ray rubbed Yuzu’s back and made soothing noises.

Yuya’s eyes wandered to the corner, where Zarc was still sitting motionless on his chair.  He felt like…he was looking into a broken mirror.

 _What am I supposed to be doing, Jack? Asuka? Everyone?_ he asked to the void.   _What unfinished business am I supposed to be taking care of…?_

  



	76. SEVENTY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [☆☆☆☆☆＊＊＊＊＊](https://youtu.be/m3I-kAoYzf4)

****Yuzu wanted to grab his hand, or something...but she couldn't. She could only steal glances at him hovering over her, watching curiously while she dug her hoe into the earth to make way for more vegetables.

“You've been here the whole time?” she said.

He nodded.

“It was harder to talk back then,” he said. “It...it hurt. And you couldn't always hear me.”

Yuzu looked down. She wondered how much of it had been her not hearing him, and how much of it had been her ignoring him, thinking he was a hallucination.

“But since I've gotten here, I feel...stronger?” Yuya said, tilting his head. “I can talk a lot more easily.”

She leaned on the hoe, stealing another glance at him from under her bangs.

“How did you...come back?” she asked.

He frowned.

“I...I don't remember,” he said. “I saw something...and then...they were there...”

She wasn't sure who "they" were, but she nodded.

“They pushed me back,” he said. “They said...they said I still had work to do. And then I sensed you, and I grabbed hold. And you grabbed back, but I don't think you realized you did.”

The pendulum rolled against Yuzu's chest as she straightened up and looked straight at him.

“Work to do?” she echoed. “What does that mean?”

Yuya shrugged.

“I've been trying to figure that out, too,” he said. “Maybe...maybe it was to make sure you got here? And met the goddess?”

Yuzu frowned.

“I don't think that could be it,” she said. “I mean...nothing really...came out of this, did it?”

She had gotten her answers, but...but she still hadn't left. It had been a few days already, and she was still just here, gardening and farming and watching out of the corners of her eyes while Ray brushed Zarc's hair or sat beside him with her hand in his, talking to him in a constant stream despite him not being able to respond.

“Why do you think he's like that?” she asked, changing the subject.

Yuya looked down at the ground.

“I know that much,” he said. “It's why I can remember so much of him, of his life...it's because I have almost all of him right now. There's nothing left in him except a small breath of life. No memories...no personality...nothing.”

Yuzu's heart clenched. To shake it off, she grabbed her hoe and began to work again, ignoring the sweat that already rolled down her forehead.

“Maybe...do you think what I'm supposed to do is to give that back to him?”

Yuzu almost dropped her hoe. She looked up at him quickly. But Yuya was staring at Zarc, looking sad and lost.

“What do you mean?” she said, heart fluttering.

“Maybe somehow I have to give him back all his memories and...and stuff,” Yuya said. “Maybe I'm still lingering because what I am is mostly him, and it can't go to the afterlife.”

“Are you...saying that if you give yourself back to him...you'll disappear?”

“M-maybe? I don't know...”

“You can't!”

Yuya flinched with surprise as Yuzu dropped her hoe and leaped forward, unable to grab his shoulders but trying anyway.

“I can't lose you twice, Yuya!” she said. “P-please...”

“But if that's what I'm supposed to do...”

“You've done enough!! Haven't you done enough? You've done so much for everyone...”

Yuya cast his eyes downward, not looking directly at Yuzu.

“But I'm still a ghost...I'm not supposed to be here anymore...”

“But you are now! And—I can't—please...”

She couldn't breathe for the tears and she had to press a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from throwing up. Yuya opened his mouth, and closed it again. He shifted uncomfortably.

“I don't...want to go either...” he mumbled. “But...is living like this...really living...?”

Yuzu felt like she had been punched in the gut.

But she didn't get a chance to say anything else, because she heard the sudden, distant bugle of a horse, and her head snapped up.

She saw Ray flinch, shooting to her feet immediately.

“What was that?” she said.

Yuzu scanned the edges of Sanctuary, but she saw nothing through the clouds of snow and wind.

“I don't...” she started.

“I'm taking him inside, I'll be back,” Ray said, quickly taking Zarc under the arm and trying to hurry him to shuffle towards the house.

Yuzu squinted. There couldn't be anyone out there, right...? But Ray seemed very worried...horses weren't common to the mountains, then?

The snow cover bulged, and a huge black horse forced its way through, stumbling down the first few feet down the hill. She saw someone on the horse's back, struggling to keep their seat, and—oh!!

“Armageddon,” Yuya said. “That's Armageddon!”

“That's Reiji and Sawatari,” Yuzu said. “R-Ray! Ray, it's all right!”

She leaped over her fallen hoe and ran towards the horse. How had they found this place? And what were they doing here?

Reiji managed to get himself situated without falling off, and he gasped—his eyes flickered up to see Yuzu. He struggled to pull the scarf and hood from around his face, his cheeks flushed from the cold.

“There you are,” he said. “Thank the goddess we found you first.”

“What's going on?” she said. “What are you doing here?? How did you find it?”

Reiji slid off of Armageddon, and Sawatari after him.

“Sawatari calculated which way you must have gone,” Reiji said. “We didn't have many options other than to chance it. Yuzu—are you here alone? Is this Sanctuary?”

His eyes lifted past Yuzu's head, and his lips parted. She glanced over her shoulder. He was looking at Ray, in the doorway. She was gripping the door frame tightly, staring uneasily at them.

“Ray, it's all right, I know them,” she called back. “They're safe, I promise.”

Ray bit her lip, and didn't look convinced. Not having her powers anymore must be very distressing...and she had Zarc to worry about.

Reiji breathed in a short breath.

“Ray,” he murmured. “She's...Yuzu, is that her...?”

Yuzu nodded.

“She doesn't look like what I imagined,” Sawatari said, blinking. Then he shook his head. “Reiji, no time.”

Reiji startled.

“Right,” he said, gasping. “Yuzu—you and the goddess must get out of here quickly.”

“What? What for?” Yuzu said.

“It's Meiying,” Reiji said. “They were waiting for you to leave—they attacked Zarkania with the intent of stealing Yuya's body.”

Yuzu's stomach dropped out and she heard Yuya make a distressed gasp.

“Zarkania managed to push them back, it's all right,” Reiji said. “What's wrong right now is that Meiying just had a bad revolution.”

“A what?”

“They were angry that resources were being used to attack Zarkania, and it was a breaking point for their rigid economic system—they tried to take the capital, and the council fled.”

“But what does that have to do with anything?” Yuzu said.

“My spies just found out that Meiying's been keeping an eye on you since...what happened with Yuya,” Reiji said. “We thought they might have followed you here—if they can't get Yuya, they want you instead. They need new weapons to stamp out their revolt.”

Yuzu felt the color drain out of her face.

“Oh goddess,” she said, sounding dizzy. “They'll—they'll find Zarc.”

Reiji blinked, lips parting.

“Zarc?” he said. And then he swore softly. “Do you mean—the demon is—”

Yuzu whipped around and bolted towards Ray.

“What are they talking about?” Ray asked in a low voice when Yuzu reached her. “I couldn't hear you—”

“Meiying!” Yuzu gasped. “The Meiying council might know—might know where I went, they want to take me to do the same thing they wanted to do to Yuya and make weapons out of me, I could run and draw them off, but if they find you here, if they find Zarc—”

Ray whitened.

“Oh fuck,” she mumbled. “Oh fuck—no, no, Yuzu, I can't—I can't let them touch him again, I can't—”

“We'll run, okay?” she said, grabbing her arm. “I'll find another safe place for you and Zarc!”

Ray shook her head, looking horrified.

“I can't leave here, they'll chase us forever, Yuzu,” she said, sounding haunted. “It's—it's the same thing—Zarc didn't want to keep fighting, but—but they kept chasing him until he had no choice—they won't stop, Yuzu, if they know we're alive, they'll never stop until we're trapped or dead—”

Yuzu grabbed her other arm.

“Ray, please, breathe,” she begged. “I won't let that happen, I promise you!”

“What if they led them here?” Ray said, looking panicked towards Reiji and Sawatari. “I—Yuzu—the humans are going to come again and they're going to hurt him—”

Yuzu squeezed her.

“Not these humans,” she said.

“Reiji will protect you,” Yuya said then, and both of them looked at him. He licked his lips, looking frightened and uncertain, but his face hardened with determination. “I know my friends. Ray, I—I get it. Humans are _terrifying_. I was hurt by humans for so long...”

He shuddered softly, but his face hardened again.

“But I was saved by them, too,” he said. “Dennis risked his life to give me the chance to escape. Crow let go of his hate in order to help me travel. Reiji, Sawatari, and Tsukikage saved us and helped us get out of the city, and he never asked for anything in return.”

He swallowed, shaking slightly.

“Gongenzaka didn't hate me when he saw me, even though he had been fighting against me for so long—he remembered our friendship and he told me he would protect me, and that it wasn't my fault what happened. Shun believed me when I told everyone what happened to me. Rin, Ruri, and Selena—they all befriended me, even though I was what they were supposed to fight. And they and their friends set me free again.”

His voice was starting to tremble slightly, but he kept talking.

“Grace defected for my sake. Gloria came to my aid when she saw that I was in danger. Edo Phoenix fought an entire war for me, and for what he believed in, in order to save the people he cared about.”

He smiled weakly at the two of them.

“And Yuzu...Yuzu, you were always with me,” he mumbled. “You held onto me, even now. And you're human, aren't you? Whatever has changed in you, you're still human.”

He sucked in a breath, and steeled himself.

“Ray, you're right—you might be running from the bad humans for a long time,” he said. “But my friends...my friends have shown me so much good. There will always be the good ones—there will always be people who will protect. There will _always_ be someone you can trust.”

Ray's lips parted. Then she shook her head, covering her eyes with her hand for a moment—but she was smiling.

“Damn,” she said. “You humans...you're so young, so inexperienced, but you're so much smarter than we were.”

She licked her lips.

“Okay. I'll trust them, Yuya. I'll trust that humans have good in them yet...I'll trust that I didn't make a mistake when I decided to protect them.”

Yuzu felt a smile growing over her face, too. Yuya was good at this speech thing.

“Do you need to grab anything?” she said.

“Just Zarc,” Ray said. “Go talk to Reiji again. Tell him what's going on.”

Yuzu nodded, and fled back to Reiji. She stumbled, and he had to catch her by the arm.

“The goddess and the demon are both here,” she said. “If we're going to flee, they have to come with us.”

Reiji hesitated, but he nodded.

“We don't have much time. Armageddon can only carry so many, so you three go first, and we'll wait here. Meiying airships could be here any—”

There was a boom, and the ground rocked. Yuzu yelped, barely keeping her feet. Reiji's face whitened.

“—minute,” he said.

Yuzu lifted her head towards the patch of blue sky—from an airship up above, it would be all too easy for them to see this strange place sticking out among the mountains. They'd find them too easily!

She blanched at the sight of the nose of the ship poking out over the tops of the clouds, the groan of the ship as it began to loom over the sky, blotting it out—like an eclipse eating away at the moon.

She whipped around and saw Ray, looking at the sky, her face blanching. Even from here, Yuzu could almost hear her mumbling, could see her lips moving.

_They'll hurt him again, they'll do it to him again, they're coming, there's nothing I can do—_

Yuzu felt, for a moment, her heart shattering. There was...was there nothing they could do...?

And then, from somewhere up in the ship, she heard a faint, distant whoop.

The ship tilted and twisted—and knocked into one of the sides of the mountains, having trouble getting through. She squinted up, it was flying low enough for people to start sliding down from ropes, but...

She heard a faint cry as she saw someone kick at one of the people sliding down the ropes, knocking them off, and then swinging down it themselves. That was—

“Crow!” she said, eyes widening.

Reiji let out a sigh of relief.

“They managed to catch up,” he said. He gripped Yuzu's shoulder.

“We didn't come alone, Yuzu,” he said. “You're not alone, here. We're fighting with you.”

Yuzu let out an unfurled breath.

They were not alone.


	77. SEVENTY SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [☆☆☆☆☆☆＊＊＊＊＊](https://youtu.be/48BRBGZz0jI)

Crow slammed his fist into the side of the soldier's head, knocking his pistol away from Yuzu.  He ripped it out of the man's hand and sent Yuzu a brief grin.

“Long time no see,” he said.

“Is now the time for that?” she said, giggling nervously in spite of herself.

“Listen, I'm just glad to be out of my office. I can't _believe_ I let them make me an elected official.”

He punched another soldier in the face.

“Yuzu!  We came as quickly as we could!”

That was Ruri's voice!  An arrow shot past and struck another soldier, and Shun appeared with his gigantic bow, Ruri behind him.  Ruri stumbled to Yuzu, grabbing her hands.  Yuzu's eyes widened—Ruri looked awful, with huge circles under her eyes and exhaustion in even her divine movements.

“Are you okay?” she said, cupping Ruri's face worriedly.

“Just—exhausted,” Ruri said, shaking her head.  “We've...Selena, and Rin, and I, we've all been getting more and more tired...”

She grit her teeth at the commotion, however, and ripped her own bow from her back, notching an arrow and letting it fly, striking a hand that was aiming a gun.

“Is the goddess here?” Ruri asked, swinging her eyes back to Yuzu.

“She is, she's back there, with—with the demon,” Yuzu said.

Ruri's eyes briefly widened, but she recovered quickly.

“We can't let these people get them,” she said.

“We won't,” Yuzu said.  “I'm—I'm so glad you're all here.”

Her voice cracked.  Over Ruri's shoulder, she could see other small fights breaking out—Gongenzaka was here, in full armor this time, with his gigantic sword.  He roared as he bowled over five people at once with the flat of his ridiculous sword.  Reiji had his own pistol, firing off quick shots, dropping to a knee to lift more ammo from fallen soldier's belts, and then turning to fire again.  Tsukikage was here, too, moving so fast that Yuzu could not see him, twin blades flashing and spinning.  Even Sawatari was fighting, making use of a large hunk of wood to smack heads, while Armageddon whinnied and kicked beside him to anyone who was just a little too dangerous for him to handle on his own.

Selena sliced through gun barrels, and Rin was shooting out gusts of wind—they both looked as exhausted, but as determined, as Ruri.

“What is happening to you guys?” Yuzu said.

“Ask Selena, because—I don't understand,” Ruri said, shaking her head.  “I'll fall back, protect the goddess.”

She fired another arrow and dropped back.  Yuzu's head spun, but she turned to the matter at hand.  She drew the goddess sword into her hands—without the gems in it, it was nothing more than a sword.  But it was enough.

She cut through the first one who aimed for her, feeling a slight twinge of nerves at the blood—but she had to fight.  She didn't have a choice.  She had to protect this place, had to protect her friends, no matter the cost.

She heard a cry, and spun around.  Ray was in the doorway, trying to pull Zarc through, but he was moving so slowly, and someone was approaching them with their gun out.

Crow rocketed there before Yuzu could, slamming the back of his stolen pistol against the back of their head and leaping over their fallen body to help Ray pull Zarc out of the house.  Reiji fell back then too with his own weapon, eyes on the battle and back to Ray and Zarc.

“Don't worry, we'll protect you!” Crow said, dropping with his back to Ray and Zarc.  “We'll give you cover!  Try to find someplace safe!”

“W-why?” Ray mumbled.  “Is it—just because I'm a goddess?  Are you doing this because—for something?”

Crow shot her a smile, and Reiji snorted.

“Of course not,” Reiji said.  “We're protecting you because it's the right thing to do.”

Ray closed her eyes briefly.

“Fuck,” she mumbled.  “So people like you still exist.”

She gathered Zarc up under the shoulders.

“Thank you,” she said.

Crow cocked his stolen pistol and aimed it out.

Yuzu turned her head back to the fight.

She had to do what she could, too!

* *    *

Yuya felt so terribly helpless.  He couldn't do anything except watch, shout a few times to tell Yuzu if someone was coming that she hadn't seen.  But he couldn't do anything.  He was a ghost, passing through each strike that still made him flinch.

He looked back nervously towards where Reiji and Crow were covering Ray and Zarc's escape.  They couldn't go very fast, Zarc didn't move well at all.  And where would they go?  They’d have to stop the fighting and drive everyone back, but then would their adversaries bring reinforcements?

 _Never ending_ , he thought nervously, his brain conjuring up images of Zarc’s past.   _You fight some of them, and the humans will never stop.  They’ll never stop coming after you._

Zarc’s fear panged through him.  But he forced it down.  No, not this time!  His friends would protect them.  There would always be people to protect them as long as there were people to chase after them.

 _I’ll believe in that_ , he thought, gripping his hands together like a prayer.   _I’ll believe in that—_

Ray let out another cry, and although Yuya was a ghost, he felt the blood drain out of his face.  A second contingent had sneaked behind the house somehow—Reiji groaned as a bullet got him in the knee and he had to drop down.  Crow swore.  He tried to shield Ray and Zarc, but he took a pistol butt to the side of the head and staggered to the ground, stunned.

Leaving just a stumbling Zarc and Ray trying to stagger back as they were surrounded, Yuzu wasn't—she wasn't going to be able to make it in time.  Soldiers lifted rifles to their shoulders as they fanned out around them.  Ray fumbled to try and get Zarc behind her.

And then with a massive, wrenching effort, Zarc actually moved.

Ray screamed.  But Zarc was standing in front of her as the bullets triggered and he flinched at the bullets thunking into his chest.  He stared blankly, mouth hanging open.  Ray scrambled to her knees, tugging on his shirt.

“Zarc, no, get away!  Get away, please!  Run!”

Zarc swayed.  The leader of the pack signaled for another volley, and Zarc flinched again.

“Zarc!” Ray screamed.

She tried to pull herself around him, but he weakly moved his arms out to block her.

“Protect...” he mumbled, and her eyes widened.  “R-Ray...”

Yuya felt his head spin.  He could—he could sense Zarc.  His heart was beating so fast but it was beating with Zarc’s.

 _Oh_ , he breathed.   _I am a part of you._

He heard Yuzu cry out his name but he was already moving, running—he was tugging hard on his connection to Yuzu, but he had to get to them, he had to HELP—

Zarc’s mind swirled as Yuya reached him—he was lost, confused, and scared, he didn’t know what was happening.  He hurt—it hurt so bad, whatever these humans were doing, but…but Ray…and those other two who had fallen for their sake…

Yuya reached him, and put his insubstantial hands against Zarc’s cheeks.

“I’m here,” he said.  “I’m what you lost.  I’m right here.”

For a moment, Zarc’s eyes cleared.

And for just a brief breath, they synced up.

Zarc’s eyes narrowed.  Yuya saw through his eyes, saw everyone fighting—humans, always fighting…always getting into scrapes…they’re so stupid…so dumb…

He saw Crow, struggling to his knees.  Looking dizzy as he lurched forward, trying to knock one of the attackers off his knees.  Trying to protect them, and taking another strike to the head.   _No_ , Zarc thought, his heart leaping in his chest.   _No, stop!  Don’t hurt each other…not because of me!_

He struggled—memories attacked him at every turn, Zarc’s and Yuya’s all at once.  Humans looming over him and stabbing burning weapons into his chest over and over again.  Humans jumping in front of him with their crimson robes, taking bullets that should have been his and collapsing under the strike.  Humans leaning down and dragging knives through his skin while he could only scream.  Humans reaching out a hand to him and pulling him free of chains and darkness.

Ugh.  Why couldn’t they just be simple?

 _But that’s why you love them, right?_ Yuya reminded him.   _That’s why we both love them._

He heard Zarc chuckle in his mind.

_For a youth, you’re smarter than me._

They raised their hands together out in front of them, palms spreading out.

Destruction was an art, Yuya saw suddenly.  It was a beautiful dance, picking and pulling at the threads of reality and seeing what fell apart, and what came out of it.  What new things were born.

He thought maybe he should be scared—he didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, even enemies…Zarc would probably kill them, wouldn’t he…?

_That’s not all Destruction can do, Yuya._

Yuya breathed out.  Oh!

Suddenly, all of the soldiers started to loosen their grips on their weapons.  Zarc continued to tug, tease and pull away at the threads of their minds, their memories.

_What are you going to do?_

_Make them forget why they were here._

It didn’t take long.  Just a few breaths.

 _They won’t want to fight anymore_ .   _Though humans are tricky.  They may come to remember again.  I don’t know how long it will last._

The soldiers were already looking around with some confusion, as though they had never seen this place before in his life.

 _Let’s just send them somewhere else, and let them figure it out,_ Yuya thought.   _It’s enough._

Zarc chuckled again.  But he raised his hands, and the world warped softly.  Destruction was multifaceted, Yuya realized.  What Zarc was doing, with every soldier who vanished from thin air, was “destroying” the space between each person’s atoms, and somewhere else—so that just a single edge to the side would have them stepping somewhere else entirely, somewhere miles away.  Teleportation?

 _That’s all I have in me,_ Zarc thought, letting his arms drop to his sides.

 _Thank you_ , Yuya sighed.  He could feel himself breaking up.  The longer he was within Zarc, the more he was giving up parts of himself, to fill in what Zarc was missing.

_This must have been why I came back.  To give back what you lost…_

Zarc snorted.

_No.  I don’t think so._

And before Yuya could stop him, Zarc forcefully flung Yuya out of his head.  Yuya tumbled through the air, and he heard Yuzu shout for him again.

Before his eyes, he saw Zarc’s eyes go dull again.  The blood from his wounds was already fading, but he staggered, falling back into Ray’s waiting arms.

“Zarc,” she cried.  “Zarc, Zarc, Zarc.”

Yuya felt dizzy—he didn’t know who he was for a moment, not until Yuzu hurtled around him and he caught her eyes.

“I was…I connected with him,” Yuya mumbled.  “That must be why I’m here, but…but then why…”

Tears bubbled in his eyes and he sank to the ground.

The battle was won, everyone was safe…but he felt like he had failed.


	78. SEVENTY EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Vague Hope (Spring Rain)](https://youtu.be/bid9Awd8rIw)

**** Yuzu stepped outside, the cool night breeze ruffling against her hair.  She breathed in, and out.

The gardens were torn up, she thought.  Ray would need help fixing them up.  She'd see if the others were able to help before they all filtered back to their lives...

And what about her?

Was she still going to stay here...?  What was she staying here for?

_ I have my answers, but...not really _ , she thought.   _ Yuya is here, but he's not.  So...what do I do? _

She heard a voice.  Was someone still awake?  No, it was close, though, not where the others had set up a temporary camp.  She frowned, and turned around the corner of the house.

She saw Zarc, first, but he wasn't talking.  Just sitting, and staring, like usual.

Yuya sat across from him, though, his legs curled underneath him.

“Why wouldn’t you let me stay?” he whispered.  “Why wouldn’t you let me help?  So much of me is you…why wouldn’t you let me give that back?”

Yuya startled, and looked up at the sight of Yuzu, even though she hadn't made a sound.  He flushed a little, looking down.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.  “I didn't mean to float away or anything, I just...I wanted to see if I could...get anything out of him again.”

Yuzu shook her head.

“I got to talk to my predecessor,” she pointed out.  “I wish you could have a chance to talk to yours...maybe he could help you understand what happened.”

Yuya nodded slowly.

“I feel like...maybe I already do,” he mumbled.  “What I became when I was a demon...I think it was him, but it wasn't...quite.  It was me, and the other three, too, mixed up with him.  But he was scared, and lost, and he had forgotten almost everything...so he panicked.”

Yuzu nodded.  She walked over and carefully sat down next to him.

“I remember how scary it was...how scared he was, before, when he was Destruction,” Yuya said.  “I...I want to do something.  I want to bring him back somehow...I want him to remember how he doesn't have to be afraid anymore...that people will hurt you, but more people will love you...”

Yuzu nodded again, her chest tightening with sadness.

“I wish we could tell him that too,” she said.  “Ray is remembering that herself, right now...but I wish we could remind him, too.”

Yuya looked down.

“I can't connect with him like I did that day,” he said.  “But I still remember it...the first thing he thought wasn't that he was scared.  When he came to himself, for just a minute, the first thing he thought was...'I want to see Ray.'”

His shoulders slumped.

“It's...it's too sad.  Does it have to end like this?  Do they have to be like this forever?”

“Our entire life has been sadness, right now,” Yuzu murmured.

“I...I know,” he said, smiling awkwardly.  “But...maybe if we could make a few things a little less sad...”

He gripped his tunic, and Yuzu wished again and again that she could grab his hand.

“I just wish I knew what it was I was supposed to be doing right now,” he said, sounding frustrated.  “What am I still here for?  Was it  _ just _ so I could take you here?  To talk to Ray?  To protect them from the people who wanted to hurt them again? If that was what I needed...shouldn't I have moved on again...?”

“You can't,” Yuzu said quickly, and Yuya shook his head.

“It's unfinished business,” Yuya said.  “Once it's finished, I should...move on, right?”

Yuzu tried not to cry again—why did he keep talking like this?  She couldn't...she couldn't lose him again...

_ “We're incomplete,” _ Selena had said.   _ “And I don't know how to fix us.  We're missing something important.” _

Yuzu didn't feel very incomplete.  She felt...fine.  But it seemed to be bothering Selena and Rin and Ruri a lot...so...

Zarc stirred.

It was so soft and quiet that at first, Yuzu didn't notice, but Yuya immediately sat straight up.  He shot to his feet.  Yuzu's eyes wandered to Zarc, and she gasped—he was looking at her.  Not just gazing in her direction, but looking right at her.

Zarc swallowed, and his gaze faded out again.

Yuya hopped forward.  He put his hands on top of Zarc's, even though they passed partially through.

“What?  What's wrong?  Zarc...are you all right?”

Zarc's eyes focused a bit again, but he was looking at Yuzu, not at Yuya.  His fingers twitched.  Yuya pushed harder against him, and his eyes cleared a little bit more.  His lips fluttered.

“Go,” he breathed.

Yuzu sucked in a shocked breath.  He was—he was talking.

“Go where?” she said.

Talking seemed incredibly difficult.  He struggled to breathe, eyes fading in and out.

“Missing,” he breathed.  “Go...get.”

“Get what?” Yuya said.  “Is that what I'm supposed to do?”

Zarc let out a tiny, frustrated groan.  His fingers rolled to his wrist, tapping weakly.

“Get,” he said. “Get...go.”

He swallowed thickly.  Yuzu thought—she should go get Ray.  She struggled to her feet, mouth open to call to her through the window.

But Zarc was fading out again, and nothing Yuya said or did was pulling him back.

“What was that about?” Yuzu said.

Yuya stared, biting his lip.

“I think...”

He tapped on his own wrist, as though trying to think about it.  And then his eyes lit up.

“Bracelets,” he said.  “He's asking us to get the other bracelets—the other gems.”

“That's what he wants?” she said, blinking with surprise.  “But what does he want to do with them?”

“Maybe it will help him remember,” he said excitedly.  “Remember?  Ray said when the sword touched him, he remembered their past together.  Maybe they can bring him back!”

Yuzu bit her lip.

“But he told us to go somewhere,” he said.  “Where do you think...?”

“Let's get the bracelets first, and see if he responds to them,” Yuya said.  “Let's go see the girls!”

Yuya tried to trot away, and Yuzu had to go with him so that he would be able to get that far.  Her stomach roiled.  It wasn't that she didn't want to see where this went, but...

Would it end with Yuya disappearing again?

* *    *

The girls were still awake, huddled around the dying campfire.  Selena looked up, looking exhausted as Yuzu approached.  She smiled, though.

“Come to join us?” she said.

“I can't believe you're still awake,” Yuzu said.

“Can't sleep,” Rin mumbled.  “Haven't been able to sleep well lately.”

She and Ruri looked exhausted too.  Yuzu frowned, heart twisting.

“What's wrong?”

“Same thing as always,” Selena said, poking at the fire with her stick.  “That...feeling.  Feeling of not quite being...all together.”

Ruri nodded, and even Rin seemed to agree.  Yuzu frowned.

“We're all the same kind of thing, right?” she said.  “How come I'm not feeling like this?”

Selena shrugged.

“I dunno...but something's missing.”

Ruri ran a hand through her bangs.

“It felt so free when it first happened,” she said.  “But now...now it just feels wearing.  Like...a whole chunk of me is empty again.”

Yuzu's heart jumped.  She swallowed.  How was she supposed to ask them for what she needed in this state?

But Yuya looked at her desperately, and she sighed.  She sat down at the fire with them.

“I'm sorry to bother you,” she said.  “But can I ask you something?”

“Fire away,” Rin said.

“I...I was near Zarc a few minutes ago,” she said.  “And he...he tried to talk.”

All three girls froze and looked at her.

“What did he try to say?” Selena said slowly.

“He kind...made this motion at his wrist, and told me to go get the others,” he said.  “Yu—I think he might have...meant the bracelets.”

She almost said Yuya, but...the girls didn't know that Yuya was here, for real.  She hadn't had a chance to tell them, and...she didn't want to make them feel any worse.  They were missing their friends, and she still had hers, at least a bit. 

For a moment, no one responded.

“What does he want our bracelets for?” Rin said, sounding suspicious.

“I don't know,” Yuzu said.  “But I think...maybe because of what they are, the gems that Ray made with their memories...he might come back to himself.”

Selena hummed softly.

“That could...be a good thing,” she said.

“What for?” Rin said.

“I mean—beyond the fact that he and Ray deserve a little peace,” Ruri said.

“Well...I've been thinking...about what we could be missing.”

She poked at the fire again, her eyes glittering green.

“It could be we're feeling the loss of Destruction.”

Yuzu's lips parted.  The others looked at Selena with surprise.

“You mean that's why we feel kind of...empty?” Rin said.

“It could be,” Selena said.  “Like I said...my knowing doesn't go as far as I want it to.”

She frowned.

“But we're Creation, in some way,” she said.  “And...we keep hearing, the world needs both.  But Yuya is dead, and there's no sign of his powers coming back into the world the way they should be.”

Yuya looked down beside Yuzu, and Yuzu shifted uncomfortably.  Was it because she was forcing him to stay...?

“We could be feeling that loss,” she said.  “That imbalance.  If Zarc wakes up...he'll probably be Destruction again.  He'll balance us out.”

“It's worth a shot,” Yuzu said.

Ruri moved before anyone else did.  She slipped her bracelet from her wrist, walked around the fire, and pressed it into Yuzu's hand.

“Do whatever you think will work,” she mumbled.  “I don't...think I have the strength to face him.”

There was a haunted, sad look in her eyes, and Yuzu understood immediately.  Zarc looked like an older Yuto.  Ruri couldn't face him.

Without another word, Ruri turned around, and disappeared into one of the tents.  Selena moved next, taking her own bracelet off.

“You don't want to come with me?” Yuzu said.

“I...I have a feeling that I shouldn't,” she said.  “I think this part of the story is yours, still.”

She bit her lip, hesitating.  Then she, too, dropped her firestick into the embers, and disappeared into the tent after Ruri.

For a moment, it was only Rin and Yuzu in the silence.

Rin swallowed.

“Suppose you think I'm just gonna give you mine, too,” she said.

“You don't have to,” Yuzu said.

“This is all I have left you know,” Rin said, her voice thick with tears.  “I don't have anything waiting for me back home.  I don't have parents, or a home.  I don't have Yugo.  This is the only thing I still have that’s mine.”

Yuzu's eyes prickled with tears.

“I know.”

“You can't expect me to just let it go,” Rin said.  “You can't expect that.”

“I'm not going to,” Yuzu said.  “You don't have to give it to me, just come with me to see Zarc, and he can see all of them together.”

Rin's lip trembled.  She let her head fall onto her knees.

Then she stood up with a start.  She yanked her hand free of her bracelet.

“I don't know why I'm doing this,” she said.  “I should just go with you.”

She looked down at the bracelet for a long, long breath.  Then she shook her head, and dropped it into Yuzu's lap.

“I have a gut feeling that this is going to be the right thing to do,” she said, voice choked.  “Please don't make me find out otherwise.”

“I'll give it right back to you,” Yuzu said.

But Rin wasn't listening.  She stalked back into the tent after the others, and Yuya and Yuzu were alone.

Yuzu sat there for a few moments, the bracelets laying in her lap.  The firelight flickered against them.

She didn't know how best to carry them, so she slipped all four onto her wrist after hers.  It made her arm cold, and heavy.

She stood up.

“I'm sorry,” Yuya said.  “For asking this.”

Yuzu shook her head.

“We'll see if this is what he wants,” she said.  “Then we'll...just give them back if they're not.”

It seemed to take her hours to get back to the house.

“Zarc,” she called softly, rounding the house.  “I've got...”

She stopped.  Zarc wasn't on his chair.

She peeked through the window.  Had Ray brought him back in?  But no, Ray was still fiddling with the oven, and Yuzu didn't see Zarc anywhere inside.  Dizzy, Yuzu staggered back from the window.  Where had—where had Zarc gone?

“Yuzu!”

Yuzu looked down at Yuya's finger.

The pendulum was swinging again.

She gasped, feeling it heat against her chest.  It was...pointing towards that portal: that strange place that even Ray did not understand.  Yuzu licked her lips.  She glanced at Yuya.

Yuya nodded.

They made their slow way over the hills and around the gardens until they reached the final hill.  She rounded it, biting back her breath.

Zarc was standing in front of the portal.  He seemed as distant as ever when she approached him, staring aimlessly.

He stirred slightly when she approached, though, and glanced down in her direction.  Yuzu lifted her arm with the bracelets quickly.

“Is this what you wanted?” she said.

Nothing in Zarc's face changed, save for his mouth to hang open a bit more. 

And slowly, slowly, he lifted his arm towards the portal, pointing with a weak, loose hand.

“Go,” he breathed.

  
  



	79. SEVENTY NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Jukai no Nakae](https://youtu.be/KSAIDK71lro)

“No!” Yuya said.  “No, Yuzu, you can't go—you can't go in there, you might never come back.”

Yuzu licked her lips—they were so dry.  A tremble started in her hands and went down her spine as her eyes caught sight of the swirling portal out of the corner of her vision.

“Why do you think that, Yuya?” she asked, voice trembling.  “Really—why does it scare you like this?”

Yuya looked white.

“I don't know,” he said.  “All I know is...it's not a place you should go.  It's not right, it's....you're not supposed to.”

Behind them, Zarc made a soft coughing sound—he was laughing, Yuzu realized with a start.  He was laughing!  It was weak, and almost a cough, but that was absolutely what it was.

“What...ever...stopped...humans...from...doing...what...they're...not...supposed...to...do,” he breathed when they turned toward him.

And then he faded out again, standing and staring at nothing, arms loose at his sides.

Yuya and Yuzu exchanged a glance.  Yuya looked terrified.  Yuzu looked down at the bracelets.

“We can't make anything worse,” she said.  She trembled, though.  She wasn't sure if it was Yuya's fear, or her own.  She held out her hand desperately, automatically.  Even though Yuya couldn't grab it back, he tried to put his on top of hers.

"Yuzu," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

Yuzu kept her eyes on the portal straight ahead, refusing to let her eyes tear away from it.  Refusing to look away from the rippling smoke or the faint motion that looked like there could be a person on the other side of the veil, stirring the air.

“Together?” she said in response.

Yuya swallowed loudly.  She wondered if he was trembling, too, but she couldn't feel his hand in hers.

“Together,” he finally agreed.

They stepped through.

*    *    *

At first, Yuya thought they hadn't left Sanctuary.  He blinked with surprise to see Sanctuary before them, as though they had stepped in and just stepped back out the exact same direction.

Only...no.  It was different.

This world was quiet.  It was completely and utterly still.  The clouds of snow that swirled around Sanctuary were frozen in space.  Grass did not move even an inch, as there was no breeze—and everything looked as though he were staring at it through a black mirror, tinted an odd, desaturated color.

“What is this?” he whispered, and he stopped immediately, because his voice sounded cold and alien when it echoed against the frozen landscape.

He looked desperately towards Yuzu, finding that unlike the rest of the world, she was in color.  She seemed to almost glow against the background, as though she had been pasted on top of it rather than belonging to it.

“I don't know,” she said, her voice echoing too.  She licked her lips.  “It's...it feels like an opposite place."

“An opposite place?”

“The Tenets of Duality,” she said.  “Remember?  There's always a balance; so maybe this is a world that balances ours.”

Yuya's lips parted.  Then he nodded, slowly.  It was a possibility.  Perhaps this wasn't the kind of thing they were supposed to know; after all, even Ray had known nothing of what was on the other side of that veil.  He glanced behind him automatically just to make sure the portal was still there, in case it had vanished and trapped them here.  But no, it remained, looking exactly the same as it had on the other side.

“What are we supposed to do?” he asked, hating the sound of his voice.

Yuzu opened her mouth—and then she lifted her hand with surprise.

The bracelets were glowing.  The pendulum was too.  She lifted the pendulum with one hand, letting it swing on its own.  It began to swing towards the other end of Sanctuary, and she looked up to see where it was pointing.

“This way?” she said.

She started forward, and Yuya had to keep up, because her hand was still on his, and it was pulling on him—

Wait.  She could...she could touch him.

He was solid.

He opened his mouth to say something.  But suddenly he was enveloped by a panic that if he did, he'd break whatever spell had made him solid.  So he just clung to her, the first solid thing he had grasped in weeks.

The world didn't even move for them—no grass swirled around their feet from their movements.  Instead, they passed right through it, as though they were both ghosts.  Or as though the world _itself_ was a ghost.

Yuzu stopped by the shadowy version of Ray and Zarc's home, peering through the windows, but there was no one and nothing there.  The camp that the others had set up was here, too, but it was empty.  Yuya took a glance through the window.  The bed was unmade and there was a slight indent there, as though someone had just been there a moment ago.  There were even dishes on the counter in the same arrangement they had been when he had last looked inside the house, before they came here.  But there was no fire in the oven, no movement, no warmth.

 _An empty world_ , he thought.   _An empty mirror world._

A glimmer of light caught his attention, and he looked towards it.  It was shockingly familiar, something that was both of and outside this strange world.  Wasn't that the glimmer he had seen when he had died?  That was what Jack and the others had pushed him away from...

He almost reached for it with his free hand, his brain going mercifully quiet.

But then Yuzu's hand squeezed his, perhaps by accident, and he startled back.  The glimmer vanished, and he wondered if he had actually seen anything at all.  His free hand curled against his chest and he stared around.  Yuzu was holding the pendulum, frowning at its sudden erratic swing.  What was this place?

“I don't think this is really an opposite world,” he said, his brain working as he spoke.  “I think...Yuzu, I think _we're_ the ones making this world.”

Yuzu looked back at him with surprise.

“We're seeing what we expect to see,” he said.  “This is a between place. I don't think any of this is real.”

Almost as soon as he said it, Sanctuary disappeared.  And there was _nothing_.  Absolutely nothing, they were just hanging in space, and he almost screamed, but Yuzu grabbed him and he grabbed her—

When they opened their eyes again, they were standing on the bank of a river.  The water was completely still, as though it were made of glass.  The surf clung like a sheet of ice to the ground without moving in or out.  A boat docked on the edge, water frozen around it.  A rowing stick stood upright against it, held up as though there were someone there to hold it, but there was no one there.  Wait, this place was familiar.  This was...this was that town in Meiying, where Yuzu had stopped on the way to Sanctuary.  He recognized the boat, the buildings, the empty clinic, the weeping willows whose branches did not stir.

Slowly, heart still hammering, he and Yuzu pulled a bit apart, still gripping each other's arms.

“Why are we here, now?” Yuzu said.  "If...if you're right, and we're the ones making this world...why did we think of this place?"

Yuya opened his mouth to answer, but he wasn't sure what he would have said before he heard a scuffling sound.  Yuzu's grip on him tightened.  Her head swung around.  All of a sudden, the pendulum was going _wild_ , swinging back and forth against her chest as though it were trying to escape.  But that wasn't what Yuzu was looking at.

“Yuya,” she hissed.  “Look.”

She thrust her arm forward.  On her wrist, the Rin's bracelet was glowing.  The three green gems were each shimmering with a deep, vibrant light, edging the black and gray landscape in green.

Yuya felt his heart lurch, suddenly.  Something in his chest stirred.  Something familiar.

He looked over Yuzu's shoulder and saw something moving.  Something darting behind a building, something...something that was _almost_ in color, just desaturated to be nearly the same gray as the world.

Someone with spiky blue hair.

“Yugo!”

Yuzu startled, and Yuya let go of her hand, bolting towards where he had seen him.  He hadn't imagined that, right?  He hadn't—he couldn't have—

“Yugo, wait!  Yugo!”

He stumbled forward desperately, but the landscape didn't move with him, as though he were running in place.  He couldn't get any closer to the clinic or the town or the shadowy shape he had seen disappear around a building.  He tripped, then.  Yuzu somehow was right there, ready to catch him by the shoulders.

“You saw Yugo?” she said, voice cracking.  “There's someone here??”

“I—I saw something, I know I did!” Yuya said.  Panic overtook him suddenly, and he pressed against Yuzu's hands as though he could lean towards where Yugo had vanished.  “Yugo!  Yugo, where are you?”

He wouldn't just run away from him, would he?  Yuya felt sudden tears bubbling in his eyes.  He—he wanted them back.  He wanted his friends.  He wanted to hear them bickering in his head again or feel the soft gentle touch of Yuto trying to comfort him, hear the awkward sudden jokes Yugo would make to distract him from whatever was hurting them, sense Yuuri rolling his eyes and snorting at something he thought was stupid.  He wanted them to come back; he was so alone without them—

Yuzu hugged him tightly, holding him close.  The suddenly pressure was calming, and Yuya closed his eyes, leaning back against her, trying to breathe.

“Breathe, Yuya, breathe,” she said.  “It's okay...”

And then she hesitated, her arms tightening around him.

“Missing,” she said.  “Oh...oh goddess.”

She let go of him, and Yuya nearly stumbled.  He turned quickly to find Yuzu staring at the sky, eyes wide and mouth open.

“I know what Zarc was telling us,” she said, her eyes wide.  “He wants us to find the missing ones.”

Yuya's lips parted.  He wasn't following yet.  Yuzu pumped her hands excitedly, her eyes lighting up as she met his gaze again.

“That's your unfinished business!" she said, jabbing a finger at him.  "That's why you're still here!  That's why Ruri, Rin, Selena feel empty, but I don't!  Because I have you, but they don't have the others!  You're only _part_ of Destruction, just like I'm only _part_ of Creation!”

Yuya sucked in a breath, eyes widening.  Oh.  _Oh._

“Oh demons,” he said.  “They're in here.  This place—their souls are trapped here in between, because I didn't move on, and they're attached to me—so they couldn't pass on—”

“So we have to get them,” she said.  “We have to bring them home!”

Yuya felt like he was soaring for just a moment.  Home.  He could bring them all home.  He could find Yuto, Yugo, Yuuri, and he could take them all back home to a world where they could finally live again with everyone who loved them.  And then he crashed.  A hollowness filled his chest as his mind went too far and came to the undesirable conclusion.

“But what then?” he said.  “We're dead, Yuzu.  My body is buried on a hill by Zarkania, Yuzu.  And the others were...burned.”

His stomach turned and he had to close his eyes, pressing the heels of his hands against them.

“Will we all just be ghosts again when we come out?” he mumbled.  “I...Yuzu, I'm so glad that I was able to see you again, but...but I can't live like that forever.  And they already had to live like that, for me, I can't ask that of them again.”

For a few moments, Yuzu didn't answer.  Then, he felt her hands gingerly rest on his shoulders, lightly and without pressure.

“Listen, I...I don't know,” she said.  “But I believe—I believe in miracles, right now, Yuya.  Because—we're here, aren't we?  We're in a world that doesn't make sense, and you just saw Yugo!  You _saw_ him, not just heard him in your head.”

Her hands moved to Yuya's and gently moved them away from his eyes.  He blinked through the tears to try and see her.  She looked nervous, pale, but she still glowed.  She didn't belong to a world like this.  He looked at his own hands in hers and found with some disconcertion that his were not as saturated.  He looked nearly white.  Was he fading into this world too?

“Let's put our faith in a miracle,” she said.  “Yuya...just this once.  One miracle.”

“But can you be sure?” Yuya mumbled, his voice choked.  “Can you be sure?"

She shook her head.

"I'm not sure of anything, ever," she said, nearly laughing with the nerves.  "But I want to believe.  I want to believe Zarc sent us in here because he knew what he was doing.  Because he didn't want any more tragedy either.  So I want to believe in him, and in this."

She squeezed his hands, biting her lip.

“Let's find them, at least,” she said.  “I don't know what will happen when we walk out of here.  But at least....we can try to find them, and see what they want to do.  At least you can go and see them.”

Yuya swallowed.  Her eyes were so strong.  He wished...he wanted to be that strong.  His chest hurt.  It swirled with all those emotions, emotions he knew...they were his, and they were Zarc's.  They hurt.  Had Yuzu hurt this much, to feel Ray's feelings when she had accepted them?  He looked down at his hands in hers, startled again at how white his were in comparison to hers, as though his color were leeching away. 

“Okay,” he said.  “For you, and everyone...I'll try to believe too.  We'll find them, and we'll ask them what they want to do."

He sucked in a breath.  It was going to hurt.  Maybe he would fade into this world and never return.  Maybe he would walk out with Yuzu again without his friends, leaving them here.  Maybe they would all leave and they would all be ghosts, attached to Yuzu or to the girls. 

He remembered Yugo, Yuto, Yuuri, remembered the way that they had had to watch through his eyes while he talked to the people he loved, with only him to try and translate for them.  They had lived like that for years...

Maybe he would get back and they would all be ghosts together this time.

Maybe that would be okay.

He looked up at Yuzu's eyes, the blue looking striking against the cold background.

He squeezed her hands.

“Let's find them,” he said.  “I think I know where Yugo will be now.”

*    *    *

As soon as they knew what they were looking for, it was like they could be anywhere in an instant.  He closed his eyes along with Yuzu, and when they both opened it again, they were somewhere else.  He had never seen the Shlassen, the capital of Meiying, with his own eyes.  But he had dreamed of it when Yugo's thoughts swirled with his, and he knew this place as though he had once lived here himself.  Striking buildings cut high into the sky as though they dreamed of touching it.  Were there any sunlight, he thought they'd be sparkling like diamonds, but everything here, like everywhere else, was a flat, colorless shell.  And when he dropped his eyes down, the city looked less beautiful.  Frozen piles of trash scattered the ground, the roads cracked in places, puddles of frozen sewage rested in ditches, buildings were crumbling and peeling.  His heart ached with memories of Yugo.  This was it...this was where Yugo had grown up.

“He'll probably be looking for Rin,” he said, turning to Yuzu.  “So he'll probably be...”

He heard the clatter and scuffle, and a soft swear, the sound echoing off the world.  Yuya's heart leaped.  _There_. 

He couldn't wait for Yuzu, he just bolted.  His heart hammered, and he felt a cold sweat breaking out.  What would he see when he rounded the corner?  Was Yugo actually here?  Was he...actually going to see his friends face to face again?  What would he say?  What would he do?  Could he convince Yugo to come home with him, even knowing what that might mean?

He ran forward, with Yuzu on his heels.  He rounded about a large, nondescript building, and found himself staring at an enormous pile of scrap.  He had never seen so much junk in his life: huge sheets of metal and twisted machines that Yuya had never seen before towered higher than the buildings near them.  A thin iron fence encased the piles of junk, but where a gate should have been to close it off, there was nothing.

Somewhere inside enclosed area, Yuya heard a faint digging and scratching.

"Rin?  Anyone?  Is someone here?"

Heart in his throat, Yuya passed through the gate, moved between the piles of junk, and rounded the first pile.

There he was.

Yugo was digging at the junk, clearly looking for something.  He grit his teeth as he pulled uselessly at a large sheet of metal that seemed to be propped up against the pile, but there was something in the way and he swore, beginning to dig at everything again.  Yuya could see the faintest hollow along the side of the sheet, as though there were a space cleared out beneath the scrap.

Yugo looked almost a part of the landscape, desaturated, but not yet black and white.  Yuya's breath caught.  He wasn't quite the Yugo that Yuya remembered.  Yuya knew Yugo as a small child of nine years old, but this Yugo...this Yugo looked Yuya's age, long and lanky, his limbs not quite caught up to the rest of him.  He wore the same clothes Yuya had when he had died, after Yuzu had struck him and the others down: the red and black robes looked even more drained of color than Yugo did, as though they had been washed too many times.

“Yugo,” Yuya said.  His voice caught and his breath was barely more than a whisper, but it echoed anyway.

Yugo jumped so high that he fell when he hit the ground again.  He spun around on his butt, eyes wide.  But the second his eyes fell on Yuya, they bulged.  And then a gigantic smile burst over his face.

“Yuya!”

He scrambled to his feet and bolted forwards with his arms out as though to hug him.  Heart leaping, Yuya threw his arms out too to catch him.

Yugo passed right through him as though he were a ghost.

Yuya froze for a moment, arms out for a hug that didn't come.  Yugo swore, skipping a few feet.  He skidded and flailed his arms before catching himself as Yuya turned around to face him again, heart hammering in his chest.

“What the hell?” Yugo said.  “I...what...?”

Yugo looked even paler, then, and his eyes shone faintly with tears.

“I...what's going on?” he said, sounding desperate. “Yuya...where are we?  Where is everyone?  I don't know what's going on...”

He breathed hard, nearly hyperventilating.  Yuya stepped forward and tried to reach for him before remembering that he couldn't touch Yugo.

“I don't know where we are,” he said.  "Do you...know how you got here?  Or how long it's been?"

Yugo blinked.  His lips parted, and his eyes went out of focus.

"I...I don't remember," he said.  "The last thing I remember..."

He paled then, and his hand twitched upwards, gripping at his chest, the place where Yuzu's sword had pierced them.  Yuya saw Yuzu behind Yugo, saw her hands tighten against her chest and her face tighten.  Rin's bracelet was still glowing.

Yuya looked back to Yugo and stepped forward again.  His heart ached so badly.  He felt like he wanted to throw up.

 

"We died," Yugo said, as though he were just remembering that it had happened.  "But...but you disappeared.  What happened?  Where did you go?  Where's Yuto, and Yuuri?  What happened?"

Yuya licked his chafed lips, trying not to tremble.  All this time.  All this time, Yugo and the others had been here, trapped in this mirror world and not sure where they were or how they had gotten here.  All because he had let his soul be shoved back; he had left them here...

No, he couldn't think like that.  What if Yuzu was right?  What if they...could go back?

"Yugo," Yuya said.  "I don't know what this place is or how you guys got here.  But I think...I think I know how to take you home."

Yugo's lips parted.

"Home?" he whispered, his voice so filled with longing that it shattered Yuya's heart.

"Yes, home," Yuya said.  "Not this place, not this empty mirror place, but real home.  Rin's on the other side of the portal."

Yugo immediately stood straight up.  

"Then let's go!! Let's..."

He faded out almost as quickly as he had come to life, eyes going out of focus again.  Yuya's heart leaped, and he stepped closer.

"Yugo?" he whispered.

Yugo licked his lips, still not looking at Yuya.

"We died, right?"

Yuya's heart fluttered.

"We did," he said, voice choked.

"So...if we leave..." Yugo said, the words clearly difficult to get out.  "Will we just be ghosts again?  We don't have bodies, right?"

Yuya swallowed.

“I'm scared of being helpless," Yugo said, talking without waiting for Yuya to respond.  "I'm scared of having to watch helplessly again.  I don't want to not be able to touch things anymore.  I-I don’t want to have to watch helplessly while things happen to you and everyone and I can’t help you...”

Yuya's eyes prickled too.  He was saying everything that Yuya feared, everything that Yuya didn't want to subject them to again.

He caught sight of that glimmer again.  There was another direction, he sensed.  They could go back through the portal to the world outside...or they could turn around and walk the other way, to a place that even gods did not know.  He could turn around and walk to the place where Jack, Asuka, and his parents had gone.

"We can go the other way," he whispered before he thought about it.  "There's...another way we can walk instead."

He saw Yuzu's face pale, and the light from Rin's bracelet got stronger, lighting her face with an eerie green glow.  Yuya swallowed.

"Yugo..." he said.  "I don't know either.  I don't know anything at all.  We can go out through the portal we came in, and maybe you and I will be ghosts with Yuzu again.  Maybe that's all we'll ever be.  Or we can walk the other way and see what happens next."

His heart clenched.  Emotions that he wasn't sure were his twisted in his stomach, and he found himself speaking again before he thought about it.

"But only one direction has Rin."

 _That_ got Yugo's attention.  He jolted, eyes flickering back to Yuya.  For a moment he just stared at him.  Then he hugged himself, rubbing his arms and biting his lip.

"I might not even be able to talk to her or anything," he whispered, tears starting to roll down his face.  "I might never be able to hug her or touch her again or have to talk to her through other people."

"I know."

"I'm not sure if I can handle it, Yuya."

"I know.  I'm not forcing you."

"But...but I want to see it," Yugo said, voice cracking.  "I want to see the world again, I want to hear her voice, I want to touch the wind again, Yuya, I want it so bad but what if it doesn't happen?"

He was starting to glow.  He was still desaturated, but he was glowing with a faint, rippling light.

“I'm scared,” Yugo said.  “Yuya, I don't know what's happening to me.  I don't know—why am I glowing?”

Yuya remembered the one, singular time that he had glowed, when he had shouted for everyone to stop fighting.

He thought, suddenly, that he understood it.  It was because his feelings had synced with Zarc's.  It was because he had been close, like when Rin, Ruri, Selena, and Yuzu had been close—close to accepting the power that was in them.  Yugo was close.

He stepped forward, and held out his hand.

“If we go out there,” he said.  “You'll be Destruction.  Like me.  We might just be ghosts forever but...but the world will still be there.  There will still be people we can see and hear and love.”

Yugo's lips parted.  He stared at Yuya's hand, trembling.

“Are you okay with that?” Yuya said.

For a moment, Yugo hesitated.  And then he reached for Yuya's hand.

"I want to try," he whispered.  "I want to hear her voice again, at least..."

This time, when Yugo reached for him, his hand gripped Yuya's solidly.  Immediately, color flooded down his arm from the contact, washing up his skin and turning him back to his normal vibrant hues until he no longer looked as though he belonged in this world anymore.  Yugo closed his eyes with a deep sigh—and then he disappeared.  A tiny white light appeared where he had been.  It flew softly to Yuzu, where it sunk into the glowing green stones of Rin's bracelet.  The gems pulsed once more, and then the glow faded.

A moment later, Ruri's bracelet began to glow softly and the pendulum began to swing.

“That's one,” Yuzu said, relief washing over her face as Yuya walked towards her.  She swallowed, and shifted on her feet.  "Did you mean it?  Would you have...gone the other way with him?"

Yuya bit his lip.  He looked down at the bracelets.

"I might have," he said.  "But...but I think...I don't think I want to now."

He remembered the longing in Yugo's voice, to hear Rin or see the world.  He put a hand over his heart, which twisted.  Not with pain, he realized.  With longing.

He wanted to go home.

No matter what it asked of him, even if the other direction turned out to be better later, he didn't want to learn yet.  He wanted to go home with everyone, and see everything again.  Even if he could never touch it...that was what he wanted.  He had to make sure the others wanted it too.

"No," he said.  "I don't want to go the other way anymore."

Yuzu smiled then, but it was one of an exhausted relief.  She lifted her bracelets again, looking at the glowing yellow diamond set in Ruri's bracelet.

“Where do you think Yuto is?” she said.

“He went home,” Yuya said.

*    *    *

When they closed their eyes and opened them, they found themselves among the trees of Corkoro.  They were already deep within the silent trunks, near to the edge of the deepwoods.  Yuya led the way through the thickening trees, the darker deepwoods, and through the crook in the tree that would lead into the village: it looked so dull and dark in this world, nothing at all like the vibrant greens of one he had seen before.  He and Yuzu split up for a few moments, checking each house in turn, clambering up the ropes to get to the top.

Yuya found Yuto first.

The house was a small, simple one, tucked along the side and nestled in the branches.  There was nothing inside when Yuya peered through the empty doorway except for Yuto, who sat crosslegged with his back to Yuya.

"Even in this world, the place I used to live is gone," Yuto said, without turning around, before Yuya had said anything.  "I tried, you know.  Tried to make my memories recreate the place I knew, but...those thoughts are too fragmented.  I can only imagine the place we visited now.  My house, the village I knew as a child: even in my memories, it's gone."

Yuya swallowed.  He stepped tentatively through the door.  He hesitated only for a moment, to wave to Yuzu on another balcony, and nod to let her know he had found him.

“Yuto....I'm here now,” Yuya said.

“I can't even feel the trees,” Yuto said.  “It's like they're not even alive.  It's so empty here...there's no life...there's nothing...”

He turned over his shoulder, eyes full of tears.  

"I feel like I understand this place," he said.  "But I can't love it.  There's nothing here to love.  No one ever stayed here as long as our souls have.  We're not supposed to stay here this long."

Yuya hesitated, clutching his chest.

"Do you remember what happened last?" Yuya whispered.

Yuto nodded.

"We died.  And this is the place in between."

"How long have you been here?" Yuya said, feeling dizzy.

Yuto sighed, closing his eyes.

"Too long," he whispered.

He stood up, dusted his pants off.

“You don't have to convince me, Yuya,” he said, smiling gently as he turned around.  “No matter what it asks of me, I'm going home with you.”

He took Yuya's hand before Yuya could even offer it, sighing and closing his eyes.  His color returned to him in a flood once again.  Before he turned into light, however, his eyes met Yuya's.

“Yuuri will be a fight,” he said.  “He has nothing he wants to return to.”

“I know,” Yuya said.  “I'll convince him.”

“We have to go together, or we'll all be here forever,” Yuto said, making Yuya's heart jump.  “Good luck, Yuya.”

And then he became a faint purple light, and zipped over to Ruri's bracelet, sinking into the yellow diamond.

Yuzu waited at the door while Yuya looked at his palm.   _We have to go together, or we'll all be here together_.  He squeezed his fingers into his palm.

“Where will Yuuri be?” she asked.

Yuya's stomach turned.

“I know exactly where.”

*    *    *

In this world, the temple was untouched.  It had not been destroyed like it had been by the battle in their world—it stood as tall and as imposing as ever.  But there were no doors, and Yuya passed through the halls easily, walked up the steps behind the throne, and went down into the basement.

He was glad that Yuzu was holding his hand, because he didn't trust himself not to run away and flee.  Even in this silent, empty world, there was malice here.

He avoided the ritual room, and went down the other hall instead.  He followed it all the way to the end, and opened the very last door.

In the middle of the floor, there was a hole where a trap door should be.  Yuya walked inside, and knelt beside the hole.

“Yuuri,” he whispered.

Down below, he could see him.  Yuuri laid on his side, curled up in corner, where the light from the hole above could not reach him.  He, too, was older, like Yugo and Yuto had been.  But he looked thin, gray...he had even less color than the others did.  It was as though he were already melting into this gray world.  

His hands curled up when he heard Yuya's voice.

“Go away, Yuya,” he said.  “I don't want to see you.”

Yuya swung his legs over the side of the hole, sitting on the edge and looking down.

“You don't have to live down here anymore,” he said.  “This place isn't real.”

Yuuri pulled himself tighter into the corner.

“Let me stay here in my stupid hole, Yuya.  Let me waste away until I die.”

“I can't do that.”

“...I hate you.”

Yuya hesitated on the edge.  He could feel Yuzu waiting for him, in the doorway.  He could feel her horrified eyes, as she realized that she knew what this place was.  Yuya felt his own stomach twisting with pain just to see his old prison.  He felt tears bubbling in his eyes, and a tremble in his chest.  He pressed a hand over his heart to calm it.

_I want to go home, and I want to take everyone with me._

_I want to leave this cell, this time, with everyone._

Carefully, Yuya angled himself to slide off the edge, dropping down into the hole.  He wouldn't be able to get back out without help, and he heard Yuzu gasp.  His ankles protested at the drop, and for a moment, he had to pause to force down the bile in his throat.  He closed his eyes for a moment.  Not real, he reminded himself.  This place was something Yuuri was creating.  He wasn't imprisoned again.

And he wouldn't leave Yuuri here.

He opened his eyes and walked to Yuuri, and crouched beside him.

“When we get out of here,” he said quietly.  “I'm going to introduce you to everyone, for real.”

Yuuri’s lips curled and he curled himself tighter against the wall.

“Stop,” Yuuri mumbled, closing his eyes.

“I'm going to take you to Iwamaki, my homeland, and we can both see the meadows,” he said.

“Stop.”

“We'll take Dennis too.  There's nothing but spread out fields, for as far as the eye can see...not a single wall, or bar, or door anywhere in sight.  You can walk for miles, free.”

“Yuya, stop... _please_....”

“And then, we'll all go together to see the ocean,” Yuya said, tears rolling down his cheeks.  “When we all get out of here, when we all leave together, we'll go see the ocean.  And nothing will be able to stop us.  We'll be able to see forever.  We'll never be imprisoned again.”

Yuuri moaned, putting his hands over his eyes.

“I hate you,” he said.  “I hate you.”

Yuya reached for him, one hand outstretched.

“We're not down here anymore,” he said.  “We'll never be down here again.”

Yuuri's eyes opened slowly, peeking between his fingers.

“Dennis is coming, right?” he said.

“Dennis is still waiting to see you again,” he said.  “We all are.”

Yuuri swallowed.  He stared at Yuya's hand for what felt like forever.

His hand trembled as he reached for Yuya's hand.  

“You have to promise me,” he said, his voice trembling.  “You have to promise me I’ll never see a cage again.”

“I promise.  I’ll do everything to keep us safe.  Yuzu and the others will too.”

“I can’t go back to this, Yuya.  You can’t tell me that we’re going to see the world and then have it ripped from me again.  I can’t lose it again.”

“I know.  And I promise you won’t.  I won’t let it happen.”

Yuuri’s lips pressed so tightly together as he tried so hard to keep his face stony; but his watery eyes gave him away.

For a moment, his fingers curled away from Yuya’s hand.  He let out a faint, hollow laugh.

“You’re so stupid,” he mumbled.  “You can’t really promise that.  You can’t know what’s going to happen.”

Yuya didn’t move his hand, but his heart trembled.

Then Yuuri grabbed Yuya’s hand.

He inhaled sharply, and closed his eyes, his hand tightening on Yuya’s.  Color flooded into him again, and this time, Yuya felt it tingling through him as though he were sensing the same thing as Yuuri.

“Oh,” Yuuri breathed.  “I feel like...”

Yuya understood.  He felt it too—the sudden rush, the _knowing_ , the emotions, the world around them, and the flicker of life in Yuzu.  He could sense it, as clearly as though he always had.  Even this empty world suddenly seemed to glow, and Yuya nearly laughed with the sudden rush of giddiness that ran through him.

Yuuri let out a heavy sigh.

“I wish I could be stupid like you,” he said.  “I’ll hold you to your stupid, unkeepable promises, Yuya.”

And he disappeared into a small pink light, and zipped away into Selena's bracelet.

Yuya stood, feeling shaky.  He had done it.  He had found them all, and convinced them all to come home with him.  He turned up to look towards the hole above him.  Yuzu was looking down at him, and he smiled up at her.

She smiled back.

“Help me out?” he said, reaching for her hand.

“Always,” she said, reaching for him back.

When her hand touched his, his slight desaturation vanished, color rushing down his skin once again.  He felt lighter, as though he had just been filled with bubbly air.  Yuzu lifted him up from the cell as easily as though he were made of air, and when both of them turned around, they were in Sanctuary again, staring at the portal.

Yuzu gripped Yuya's hand, tighter than ever.  He felt the glow in his skin like a fire that danced beneath it.

“Ready?” she said.  “Are you ready to go back?”

Yuya cast one last look at this world—this place between living and not-living.  He sensed, for a moment, what Yuto had sensed; something he could not put into words.  This was a place that only half-existed, only as long as a soul remained.  When they left, it would disappear again, until the next soul passed through.  Hopefully, they would not be forced to linger as long. 

Somewhere at the end of Sanctuary, he saw the glimmer again.  It still called to him, like sleep called to one who was exhausted.  But he smiled.  Not yet.  He knew, now.  It was not yet time to go there.

For the barest moment, he thought he saw people standing at the other end of the valley where the glimmer met the world that did not exist.  He saw the faint flash of violet eyes and arms folded against a white jacket, saw the beaming fair face of a woman laughing as she hugged the brown-haired man beside her, saw a blond woman and a man with a funny top hat holding hands and smiling at him.  There were others, too, impressions and hints.

They were gone as soon as he tried to look at them, and the glimmer was gone too.

 _Goodbye,_ he thought.   _I'll see you next time._

He looked to Yuzu, the only thing with color in the entire world, and he met her eyes.

“I'm scared,” he admitted.  “But...but I'm tired of being imprisoned.”

She smiled, and squeezed his hand.

“Let's go, then, and get out of here, forever.”

Yuya sighed, closed his eyes, and felt himself fade into a light as well.

_Take care of us, Yuzu...I'll trust you to bring us home._


	80. EIGHTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Rebirth and Hope](https://youtu.be/xcSSsa6AE2M)

Yuzu stumbled free of the portal, gasping for breath.  She blinked—for a moment, the color of the world blinded her, and she stumbled to her knees.  It was—it was bright!  It was daylight now.  How...how long had she been in there?

“Yuzu!”

She looked up, just in time to be smothered in a huge hug.  It took her a moment realize it was Selena who was hugging her.

“You've been gone for two days!” she babbled.  “W-we found Zarc over here, just staring, and we thought—Ray told us not to go in after you—”

“I'm fine...” Yuzu mumbled.  “I'm fine...”

She managed to extract herself from Selena's grip, swallowing.  Selena wasn't the only one here, she realized.  Rin and Ruri were here; Rin was sobbing.  Reiji, Sawatari, and Tsukikage quickly scrabbled to their feet on the hill top, Sawatari shouting to the others that “Yuzu was back!”

Ray's head jolted up from where she was sitting beside a still frozen Zarc standing in one place.

Yuzu felt Zarc's eyes boring into her, the clearest she had ever seen them.  She carefully pushed Selena back from her, staggering to her feet.

“I found them,” she said, looking right at Zarc.  “What...what do I do now?”

Ray opened her mouth, probably to say that Zarc couldn't tell her anything, but Zarc let out a huge sigh.  He lifted one weak hand, palm up.  Beckoning her closer.  She stumbled over, still feeling weak and dizzy.  She lifted her arm when he glanced at the bracelets.

His hand swept over them slowly, and he closed his eyes.  He sighed.

And then Yuzu felt the world tighten.  She gasped—what—what was this??  Her ears popped, she heard Ruri swear, someone let out a shout of surprise.  What was he doing???

The gems cracked.

Yuzu's heart stopped.  He wasn't—was he hurting them—

Four lights floated free of the gems.  Zarc sighed again.  He clenched his fist.

“I can take the hard bits back,” he mumbled.  “You kids...should just...live.”

Yuzu could not comprehend what happened next.  One moment, the world swirled and warped.

The next minute, she was on her knees, and the gems were shattering to dust in their spaces.

“Yuzu!”

Rin grabbed her shoulders to steady her, but then she froze.

“Oh  _ goddess _ ,” she moaned.  “Oh—oh fuck—”

Yuzu lifted her head, still dizzy.  Tears bubbled up in her throat and choked her.

On the ground, Yuya was sitting up, blinking with grogginess.  Rin was staring right at him, he wasn’t a ghost, he was real, he was looking around with his shining crimson eyes and his hands were curling into the grass as though he could feel it again, face lighting up as he looked down at the dirt under his fingers.

But that wasn't...that wasn't it.  That wasn’t all of it.

Yugo groaned, his eyes blinking up at the sky.

“The fuck hit me?” he mumbled.

“Ugh,” Yuuri groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes.  “Of course  _ your _ voice would be the first one I heard.”

“We come back from the dead and the first thing you two do is bicker?” Yuto mumbled.  “Typical...”

Ruri choked on a scream before flinging herself forward.  Rin released Yuzu and bolted.  Even Selena whitened, wobbling slightly on her feet.

Yugo choked when Rin landed heavily on his stomach, her hands wildly smacking him against the chest without much power behind it.   _ Stupid stupid stupid STUPID _ , she was mumbling as she cried, until Yugo finally realized what was happening, and he started sobbing too, grabbing her shoulders and dragging her down on top of him in a huge hug.

Ruri grabbed Yuto under the shoulders, crying silently as she mumbled at him if he was okay, Shun was bolting down the hill and skidded so fast that he overshot and hit the ground face first.  Yuto cried just as silently, his lip trembling as he curled himself against Ruri; Shun recovered and threw his arms around the both of them, the three of them collapsed on the ground in a lump of tears and hugs.

Selena finally recovered enough to stalk across the space and immediately collapse to her knees beside Yuuri.  Yuuri peeked his eyes over his arm at the sound, and for a moment, the two of them just stared at each other.

“I’m sorry,” Selena mumbled.  “I didn’t keep my promise.”

Yuuri only rolled his eyes.

“Just help me sit up,” he said.  “I don’t think I remember how.”

Selena took him under the arms and gently helped him up.

In front of Yuzu, Zarc swayed, and Ray shouted as she leaped forward to catch him, both of them sagging to the ground.

“Zarc!  Zarc, what—what did you—how did you—”

Zarc coughed.  His eyes opened fully, and he looked right at Ray.

He smiled.

“Morning...” he mumbled.  “What are you crying for, my Ray of light...”

Ray let out a thin moan.

“Oh hell,” she mumbled.  “You're—are you—”

Zarc flexed one hand.

“I think...probably human,” he said.  He swallowed.  “I did what you did, love...I did something against my nature...I created.”

Ray choked on her sob, and she pulled him up to nestle his head against her neck.

“You're back, you're back, oh,  _ Zarc _ , I love you, you stupid ass, I can't believe—”

Yuzu could only smile.

“Hey,” she heard the whisper.  Her eyes swung to Yuya, who smiled at her, exhausted.

“I think we did it,” he said.  “Finished the unfinished business, I mean.”

She felt the entire sun shining in his eyes, and she reached for his hand towards hers, gripping it.  It was warm, solid, and real.  Alive.

“We did,” she said, laughing.  “We really did.”

  
  



	81. EIGHTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Theme: [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16wcVJGtz2w)

****“So, what do you think we are now?”

Yuzu didn't answer him right away.  He didn't expect her to have one, but he thought he would ask, anyway.  He was figuring it out, too.

They stared down from the mountain side, looking out at the world below.  The snow had relaxed, just for a bit.  The others were ahead of them, making their slow way down the last bit of the mountain.  He could hear them laughing and chattering, could hear Rin and Yugo still sobbing, unable to let go of each other, Yuto laughing with one hand in Ruri's and the other in Shun's.  Yuuri muttering at Selena, the two of them seeming to be arguing about something. At least until Selena burst out laughing and Yuuri glared half-heartedly at her.  The others all swarming them, asking them questions and trying to get to know them; Crow was the loudest, constantly asking of any of the three were hungry or tired or needed a break.   _I didn't get to meet you when I met Yuya, but I'm going to fix that now._

Yuya looked over his shoulder, towards where they had left.  Ray and Zarc had decided to stay behind.

 _“Visit again,”_ Ray whispered.   _“You and your friends are always welcome here.”_

 _“I need a little time to figure myself out again,”_ Zarc said.   _“But don't hesitate...come back and talk to me if you guys need help figuring yourselves out, too.  It's the least I can do.”_

He had already brought them back to life, when Yuya had thought it must be the end...

They needed some time together, after all that had happened.  Yuya, and Yuzu, and no one would ever deny them that.  But he would be back, someday, to ask them more, and learn more.  To find out what it was he was supposed to be doing now.

Ray and Zarc were...mortal, now, Yuya thought.  Not that...not that he wasn't.  He had cut his palm on a rock while getting down the mountain, earlier, and it hadn't healed yet.

Perhaps, of all the things the gods passed on, immortality wasn't one of them anymore.  Perhaps the world didn't need immortals any longer.  Just...people who were willing to be the world's steward for a while.  To hold the now fractured, equal power of Creation and Destruction.

“Do you think we're gods, now?” he asked again.

“Oy!”

They both looked down, at where Yuuri was folding his arms and staring up at them, frowning.

“What exactly are you waiting for?” he said tersely.  “Yuya, I believe you had made me a few promises—am I going to get to see Iwamaki, or not?”

Yuya laughed, and even Yuzu giggled.  Her hand reached for his, and curled into his fingers.

“We're coming,” Yuya said.

Yuzu squeezed his hand.

“No,” she said.  “I don't think we're gods.”

“What do you think we are, then?” Yuya asked.

Yuzu smiled at him, as the sun crested the mountains and set her hair and eyes alight.

“I think we're humans,” she said.  “Beautiful, ridiculous, strange, terrifying, and haunting humans.”

Her teeth shone in the light with her smile.

“And I think we get to decide what we are.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man.....I can't believe this is the end ; w ; 
> 
> This project took me two and a half long months of work, pounding out thousands of words every day to try and fit my entire story into the time frame I was allowed to work on it. This is honestly my favorite longfic I have ever produced and even though the story itself was finished months ago, I'm so, so sad to see it go.
> 
> I was absolutely blown away by you guys, too, the ones who followed this project through all 220,000 words, who left comments on almost every chapter, who had so many great questions and emotions throughout the whole project. You all are the real MVPs and you all made the time and effort I put into crafting this story and this world WELL worth it.
> 
> I'm going to miss posting this one every week, and I'm sorry to go too! ; w ; I know that not everything the story addressed fully got the ends tied up (you all remembered the Doctor way more than I did, haha XD), so I wanted to confirm that I do have FULL intentions of continuing to play with this world in the _very_ near future, with extra chapters and some mini-prequels/sequels, and maybe I'll share some more broad worldbuilding bits on Tumblr or something if you all are interested in it! Keep an eye on the series "Lost Chapters of Arca" that this belongs to and I promise there will be more content  <3
> 
> I also wanted to announce that after this posting, I'm going to be taking a BRIEF posting break. All my current multichapters, backlog or not, are going on just a one week hiatus, to give myself a chance to re-evaluate my backlogs, outlines, and my next multichapter (which is absolutely already in the works so pls stay tuned if you liked this one!!). That means Hippodrum and Hourglass, if you follow either of those, will not be posting when they usually would (not that Hourglass has updated for a while oops ; w ; ), and I won't be sharing any drabbles or oneshots in that time either. I'll be back to regular posting schedule next Wednesday, March 14th!
> 
> And with that out of the way, I just wanted to leave off with the biggest THANK YOU imaginable. You guys made my day every day and I'm just so happy my work was something that resonated with you all so well <3 thank you so much for reading, for commenting, and for simply sharing the love of the beautiful series that is Arc V <3 Until next time, the fun has just begun <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ashes Remain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874857) by [YaToGoRi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaToGoRi/pseuds/YaToGoRi)




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